FULL SHOW: The Big Show T20 Franchise

7:21Mogey:How are you feeling about it, Jase?

7:22Keyzie:Oh, I think it's fantastic

7:25Jase:Oh Yeah Somebody says, why is Mogi always early on the queue? I was wondering that too I thought I knew where to say tequila

7:32Mogey:Now you've got to pause

7:33Jase:Yeah, you've got to pause a bit more

7:34Mogey:Da-da-da-da-da-da-da Toledo's

7:36Keyzie:Yeah, I was doing that That's okay, man Frankly, I was embarrassed for you, Moggy. I was embarrassed. I mean, usually you're a music man and you just balls that up. Yeah. You're a music man. I guess I have to work on it. Here's White Stripes.

7:51Mogey:The Hauraki Big Show with Jase, Mike and Keezy. Tune in weekdays at four on Radio Hauraki.

7:57Keyzie:Faith No More there on the Radio Hauraki Big Show this Wednesday afternoon. Was it Wednesday? Yes, it is Wednesday. 4.23 is the time. Fellas, in the last 18 hours, two quite bizarre things have happened to Hoity J.

8:14Mogey:Is this in the big city near your apartment? Yes.

8:20Keyzie:First, check this out. True story. My wife and I this morning woke up at 9 o 'clock.

8:31Mogey:Wow. AM.

8:33Keyzie:9 o 'clock.

8:35Mogey:That's pretty good, man.

8:35Keyzie:Do you know that's been like 15 years since I've slept till 9 o 'clock? What time did you go to bed? Well, this is where the other bizarre part comes in. True story. I went to bed about 10.30 last night, and I lay in bed, and I was reading my book, as is my want. And at about quarter to 11, I hear this bang, bang, bang, bang, bang, right outside my window. Go on for it. Oh, for f***s sake. What is that? So I carry on reading my book and it stops. About 10 seconds later, bang, bang, bang, bang, bang. And I'm like, oh, for f***s sake.

9:23Mogey:Sorry.

9:25Keyzie:Keep reading my book. And then it happens again and I'm like, okay, this is ridiculous. It was literally like someone was doing a bit of carpentry outside the house. This is at quarter to 11 at night, okay?

9:37Jase:And you sort of live, just to paint a picture for people, you've got a lovely apartment. Yes. But you sort of live in a sort of a slum, would that be right?

9:46Mogey:Well, I don't know if it's slum.

9:48Keyzie:It's a mixture, Mogi. Can I put it that way?

9:51Mogey:It's like the slum's down below and you're like up above looking down.

9:53Keyzie:I look down on the slum. Oh, you look down, all right.

9:56Mogey:It's kind of like an ivory-coloured building, isn't it?

9:58Keyzie:Yes, it's a white-coloured building. Yes. It's a tower. It is a tower, and we're very, very careful about who we let in and out. Oh, you need to be. Oh, of course. And anyway, so I pull back the very heavy curtain that's in my bedroom there. Blackout blind? Blackout blind. And I look out across to where the park is, and there's steps that go right down beside my apartment. And at the top of the steps, there's three dudes. And they've got something at the top of the steps, and they're banging away. and I'm like, seriously, what the hell are they doing at this time of night banging away at something, not at each other?

10:37Keyzie:Sure. Which would have been fine. I've seen actually a couple have sex. But anyway, I don't want to get sidetracked. And so genuinely I was like, what the hell are they doing? This is bizarre. So then I went from my bedroom to the lounge where I had a much better view and there was a lamplight over the top of them. and I look down and I shit you not, I'm going, is that a safe? Have they got a safe on the steps? And it was a safe.

11:09Mogey:Like a mini vault thing.

11:10Keyzie:Like literally a mini, yeah, that you'd have in the wall that they must have just ripped out of somewhere and they had these like chisels and hammers and were trying to open the safe. They were just smashing it. And this went on for about 45 minutes. Now, you guys won't know this about me, but I used to be a safe cracker back in my day. A safe cracker. I do know that. Oh, you do know that, actually, Moggy. You do know that. You were a safe cracker.

11:37Mogey:So what did you do? Cracker.

11:39Keyzie:Cracker. Cracker.

11:41Mogey:So what did you do? Did you lean out the window and yell out instructions?

11:45Keyzie:No. Well, I went down in my undies.

11:48Mogey:And did you say, hey, fellas, I used to be a safe cracker?

11:50Keyzie:Well, no. I said, hey, fellas, I used to be a safe cracker. and they were like, whoa, and sort of jumped back. But they knew it.

11:59Jase:Crackle when they saw you.

12:00Keyzie:Oh, mate. As soon as they saw my fingers, they went, all right, here we go. As soon as they saw you. And they were like, this is the biggest crackle. Crackle.

12:08Mogey:I've ever seen.

12:10Keyzie:So I had a bit of a twiddle there, had a bit of a listen. Cracked it open. What do I find in there, Mogi? Jewels. Rubies? Jewels, yeah. But it was good because I went, oh, thanks, mate. Are you Hoodie J from the radio? And I went, yeah, that's right, mate. I didn't know you were safe. Crackle!

12:33Mogey:The Hauraki Big Show with Jace, Mike and Keezy. Tune in weekdays at four on Radio Hauraki.

12:39Keyzie:Welcome back. The Big Show. Magic round three beat. Let's put another mad bastard on the bench. Yes, indeed. Let's put three mad bastards on the bench, fellas. Mind you, on the bench sounds like, you know, they're actually not part of it. but they'll be a massive part of it if they win the prize.

12:57Mogey:I guess we're putting them on the bench, aka in the drawer. Yeah. Then I get put into the game.

13:03Keyzie:Yes, I'll get selected.

13:04Mogey:Yeah, to be a part of the starting squad, which is us.

13:07Keyzie:Unlike you when you were playing basketball, eh, Keezy? Because you just rode the pine the whole time. Yeah, I just rode the pine. Yeah, yeah.

13:13Mogey:Yeah. Hey, what's magic round? Did you say, Mogi? Yeah, what is it? Weird question, man. You've been twice.

13:21Jase:Yeah, I know. Well, you're not telling me. You're telling the listeners. Oh, yeah, true.

13:24Mogey:Magic round. Three glorious days over in Brisbane. Eight games of rugby league. Flights taken care of. Accommodation taken care of. Thanks to boystrip.co.nz. If you want to guarantee your spot, go on the website, book a package. You'll be there with us. However, if you want to go for free with a mate, you call 800-HODAKI. You get yourself in the draw.

13:40Keyzie:You know, that's why I stay in radio, fellas. Because I know that we're going to be going to Magic Round again every year. I mean, it's marked in my calendar. It's like, it's a no-go zone for everything else. It's just Magic Round.

13:51Mogey:You don't have a calendar.

13:53Keyzie:G'day, Ashton, you mad bastard. at How's Life? Good job. Yeah, Phyllis. Yeah, Phyllis. Yeah, good, thanks, mate. What do you do for a crust, Ashton?

14:01Mogey:I'm a plumber. Oh, yeah. A backbun.

14:04Jase:Yeah, a massive backbun. Who would you take with you, man, if you won?

14:08Mogey:I'd have to do a bit of a lottery with the boys.

14:10Jase:No lotteries, mate. I need an answer.

14:14Mogey:One of the boys.

14:15Jase:Yeah, good answer. Yeah, yeah, good answer. Hey, Ashton.

14:18Mogey:S-traps or P-traps, man? Oh, S-traps all day. Yeah, boy. This guy gets it. Yes, he gets it, man.

14:25Keyzie:I personally prefer the P-trap, but, you know, each to their own, each to their own. Well, good on you, Ashton, and you're in the draw. Stay on the line. Yes. Thanks, mate. G'day, Will, you mad bastard. How's life?

14:39Jase:G'day, fellas. How you going? Yeah, good, thanks, mate. What do you do for a crush, William? I'm a builder. Oh, yeah. Backbusters, oh, yeah, yeah, yeah. What do you think about plumbers, man? You think they're all shit, man?

14:50Mogey:All these dodgy bastards. Yeah, shocking bastards.

14:53Keyzie:It's actually amazing. I've found, you know, having had a few people come over and do some work around my house, how much the industries hate each other. Really? You know, it's like the builders are like, oh, the plumbers are useless bastards. And the plumbers are like, oh, bloody electricians. They just make a bloody balls up of everything. It's bloody never on time. And all of them are like bloody radio DJs. Yeah, bloody radio DJs suck. Hey, William, obviously you love your rugby league, mate. Who would you take with you?

15:21Mogey:Well, I'd have to make some of the boys fight to the death, I think. Yeah, good call, mate. Yeah, nice to the death. I like it, Will. Hey, how's Southland today, man? Is it beautiful down there? It's beautiful. Good on you, man. Yeah. Must get down there again. I love Southland. I haven't been in ages.

15:35Keyzie:Invercargill.

15:35Mogey:We should go to Bluff or, yeah, Invercargill, obviously. Be like Bluff or something. Imagine that.

15:39Jase:Yeah, you simply must.

15:40Mogey:Yeah, exactly. You get it, William. You're in the draw, mate. You hold the line, all right? Thank you.

15:46Keyzie:G'day, Gaz, you mad bastard. How's life? Oh, speaking of mad bastards, I'm the maddest bastard there is. Hi, fellas.

15:55Jase:G'day, Gaz. What do you do for a crust, you sicko?

15:59Mogey:Oh, well, I'm a contractor. Contracting for what? Well, I work in education. Don't tell me.

16:07Jase:Boo. Keezy, you can't do that. Come on.

16:11Mogey:Did I boo? I took a joke in from you. Was that me? Hey, Gaz, you love rugby league, mate. Who's your favourite? I love it when I'm a firstborn. Who's your favourite Melbourne Storm player? Oh, Melbourne Storm, get out of here. Correct. What's wrong with you? Yeah. Correct answer, Gaz. You're officially in the draw, brother. All right, good luck.

16:29Jase:We're going to save you a seat right next to Keezy.

16:32Mogey:Yeah, man, I'll sit next to Gaz. He sounds like a hoot.

16:34Keyzie:Yeah, he sounds like a backbone, doesn't he, fellas?

16:37Mogey:He sounds like a backbone.

16:37Keyzie:Hey, a little bit later on, have you had any more thoughts about me having a cultural diversion while I'm over in Brisbane? Yes. You know, me and my wife going and had a few more thoughts about that?

16:47Mogey:Yeah, I've had some thoughts.

16:47Keyzie:Okay, we'll talk about that later on in the show, maybe.

16:51Mogey:Sure. Wait to see. Meantime, it's Sheeha. The Hauraki Big Show, weekdays from four on Radio Hauraki.

16:59Keyzie:The temperature up there on the Radio Hauraki Big Show this Wednesday afternoon. Just a reminder, after five o 'clock, the Big Show are thinking of buying a T20 franchise in the New Zealand competition. We need some names for it, though, don't we, fellas?

17:16Mogey:We need some team names. Every single suggestion on 3483 in the draw for 50 bucks cash, thanks to Toledo's.

17:22Keyzie:Yeah, good stuff. But in the meantime, let's talk TV. What's on the telly with Mike Minogue?

17:32Keyzie:Yeah! Yes. Woo! Yeah. Woo!

17:37Mogey:See, see, this is...

17:39Jase:Yeah, I know. This is my contribution. I didn't watch anything last night. I was imbared by probably 8.45 last night at the latest. Earlier, it was earlier. It was quarter past eight. How embarrassing. Shock and burst. What time do you wake up? Repeatedly.

17:52Keyzie:Oh, yeah. You know. It's annoying, isn't it? It is. I fully expected you guys to be blown away by my revelation that my wife and I woke up at nine o 'clock today.

18:04Mogey:So you thought we'd be blown away by that?

18:07Jase:I mean, that's unheard of in our house. Yeah, but there's something. Yeah. I think you're coming down with something quite serious. I'm worried about it. Both of you.

18:18Keyzie:Fellas, last night I watched I Survived.

18:22Mogey:Oh, stop watching this show. I can't help it.

18:25Jase:This is the location, location, location of hoody jizz.

18:28Mogey:Is this how punishing mine is?

18:29Jase:Oh, worse. No, no, no, no. Yours is worse because at least this is about somebody who nearly died. Yes. You know what I mean? There's peril.

18:37Keyzie:About houses and property and stuff.

18:39Mogey:Yeah, it's boring. What have you got? What happened today?

18:42Keyzie:Well, you know how I gave you guys a hypothetical yesterday about a guy that got pinned in his van with a thing and had to cut his arm off? Yes. Well, this guy got attacked by a bear. Another one. And I don't know if you know this, but bears like to eat the brains of the things they kill, and so they crack this guy's head open and were sort of picking at his brain. And I don't know if you know this interesting fact about bears. Once they get their prey, they then defecate around their prey. so that they know where their prey is because they can smell their scent. And then they just sort of bugger off.

19:17Keyzie:Right. Another hypothetical for you, if I might, if in that situation, would you be prepared to chop your head off to survive?

19:28Mogey:So yesterday it was, would you be able to cut your own arm off if you were pinned down by a tree? Yes. Otherwise you'd die. Today it's, would you cut your own head off?

19:35Keyzie:Why would I need to cut my head off? Oh, because the bear's going to come back and you need to leave them something.

19:41Mogey:Right, so you don't want the... Because the bear's gone through all this effort. Yes. And you don't want the bear to go without.

19:46Keyzie:Yeah. Well, you want to leave something to sort of distract the bear from your body. Right. Could I...

19:53Jase:You know, it's not a bad idea, cutting off your own head and leaving it there. Smart. Could I also alternatively just leave behind some scrogging? Oh, no, bears hate scrogging. Hang on, I didn't know the guy...

20:04Keyzie:But I haven't even picked out all the chocolate. There's chocolate in there.

20:08Mogey:Did the guy have scrogging?

20:10Keyzie:Interesting fact about bears, like just, chocolate would literally kill them. Great. Really? So I guess you could leave behind your head in some scrogging and kill them. No, no, no, no. Just the scrogging and take my head with me.

20:26Mogey:Right, so you'd still cut it off. Yeah. But you'd take it with you and leave the scrogging. Yeah.

20:31Keyzie:Oh, yeah, as long as you leave a bit of blood and a bit of brain. Sweet. Yeah, yeah.

20:35Mogey:Once again, that's for the bear to be distracted by. Distracted by.

20:38Jase:What about if I take some of the feces, because it's defecated around there so it can come back and find me. Yes. What about if I take some of that big pile of that poos, because they're big poos, armfuls of it, and I take it down to a local police station and I put it around a cell and then it walks into the cell and then we lock it up.

20:56Mogey:And then it's arrested and then a fair trial.

21:00Jase:Yeah, Yogi Bear styles.

21:02Mogey:What do you, Mogi Bear?

21:03Jase:That is clever, Mogi. That is fantastic.

21:07Mogey:Mogi Bear. How many buzzes out of five? That particular episode, 4.8 buzzes.

21:17Keyzie:Wow.

21:17Jase:Out of five. And can I also ask you, what did you watch it on again? Samsung TV.

21:22Keyzie:Oh, my God.

21:24Jase:Did the guy survive?

21:25Keyzie:Well, obviously.

21:28Mogey:I mean, he doesn't have a head, but. The Hauraki Big Show with Jace, Mike and Kesey. Tune in weekdays at four on Radio Hauraki.

21:36Keyzie:Franz Ferdinand there on the Radio Hodaki. Big show this Wednesday afternoon. The time, four minutes to five o 'clock.

21:43Mogey:Hey, fellas, we had a great text through here on 3483. Earlier in the show, Hoi DJ was telling a story about some blokes outside his house last night, your apartment, that were trying to get into a safe. Yes. And you used to be a safe cracker. I did. And someone actually texted through being like, no, I remember when he was a safe cracker, there was an episode of Thunderbirds, because you used to play Parker, right? Yes, Keezy. You used to play Parker on Thunderbirds And there's actually an episode of you cracking a safe Check this out Look, do you think we might have a bit of ush, m 'lady?

22:16Keyzie:I'm sorry, Parker But if you used a modern detector, you might

22:21Mogey:A stethoscope, ma 'am Was good enough for my father And for my father's father And before him, my father's...

22:29Jase:Yes, yes, all right, Parker It was just a suggestion

22:40Mogey:Splendid, Parker. So that was you cracking a safe? Yeah, man.

22:43Jase:Back in the day? She was such a bitch, that woman. She thought you really had a habit of just banging on, though, eh?

22:49Keyzie:Oh, she used to always just, yeah. We had this sort of love-hate relationship. You loved her and she hated you. Yes.

23:00Mogey:The Hauraki Big Show with Jace, Mike and Keezy. Tune in weekdays at four on Radio Hauraki.

23:07Keyzie:You're welcome back, you massive backbones. Hope you're surviving hump day. You are, in fact, listening to The Big Show, brought to you by Toledo's.

23:15Mogey:Rehydrate the right way with Toledo's natural and etulite drinks. Real ingredients and natural colours.

23:25Mogey:Toledo's.

23:27Keyzie:Good stuff, fellas.

23:28Mogey:So that was a great suggestion from Listener Ken. Reba! And we've nailed it. I mean, that's great. That's good. We've had another suggestion through here on 3483. Using boss gags instead. So if you don't mind, Jase, could you just open the show again there? Is that all good?

23:45Keyzie:Yeah, welcome back, you massive backbones. Hope your Wednesday's going along, tickety-boo. You're listening to The Big Show brought to you by Toledo's.

23:53Mogey:From work days to workouts, It's Toledo's natural electrolyte drinks keep you balanced, refreshed, and ready to go. Damn it, I missed it. Oh. Toledo's. Whoa. Ah. Okay, don't even worry about it. Don't even worry about it. Like, I tried, and it massively failed.

24:12Keyzie:It happens, Kesey. That's life, man. It happens. Sometimes you're on a high, and sometimes you just fall face first in the mud.

24:21Mogey:But am I right in saying that you're better to have had a crack than not try at all? No. Sometimes it's better to have not tried at all.

24:28Jase:Yeah. That's a trap that a lot of first-timers fall into, isn't it, Hoity J? You think it's worth having a crack and you find out when you bring out, what was the name of that band? Boz Skaggs. Boz Skaggs. When you bring out the old Boz Skaggs reference.

24:44Mogey:Yeah, Toledo Shuffle.

24:45Jase:Right on the old noggin there. So just don't try? Yeah, yeah, don't try. In the case, yeah. And the other thing is we didn't know about it, James. We could have helped you there.

24:54Mogey:Oh, I kind of wanted all the glory. Me and Dilly had been planning it. Yeah, yeah. How did it go? It felt like you wanted all the glory. I felt bad because Dilly put in all the work there and then I butchered it. Yeah, oh, you absolutely did. Well, I don't know about abs. I mean, it was close. I mean. This isn't going to negatively affect Toledo's, is it?

25:10Keyzie:Well, we'll have to wait and see what the numbers tell us after the show. Hey, now listen. The Big Show are going to be buying a T20 franchise cricket team for the T20 New Zealand competition. We're back if we know what to call it. We need a place as well. And a place on 3483. In the meantime, here's the Kings of Lyon.

25:32Mogey:Every text on 3483 and the draw for 50 bucks cash. Thanks to Toledo's. Toledo's shuffle. The Hauraki Big Show. Weekdays from four on Radio Hauraki.

25:43Keyzie:Oasis there on the radio. Hauraki Big Show this Wednesday afternoon. The time is 13 minutes past 5 o 'clock. And we're talking T20 cricket, fellas. There's been this bit of stuff floating around the T20 cricket situation in New Zealand. A suggestion that we have a New Zealand side in the Big Bash over in Australia. That's right.

26:04Jase:Yeah, that's exactly right. So the idea was that we put a team over into that league. and Australia will be prepared to look at that as an idea in a couple of years.

26:14Mogey:Yes. So that sucks, obviously, the couple of years' time thing, but I love the idea of it. Like that would make me heavily invested in the BBL.

26:21Jase:The trouble with it is, of course, is that you would watch, but how much National Rugby League do you watch in New Zealand in the domestic competition?

26:30Mogey:Yeah, okay.

26:30Jase:So that completely destroys that competition. So what they've come up with now is a franchise where you have it as the IPL, the Caribbean Cricket League the South African League the Australian Big Bash all of these Pakistan Pakistan they're all over the world now and it allows all the best players in the world they tour around but to have that in New Zealand which would mean that we would actually have some cricket in summer at the moment we have no cricket in January or February happening in New Zealand it's the weirdest thing in the world it is a debacle so all those Kiwi cricket players would come back to New Zealand and also you'd have an opportunity to see all the best players of the world come into New Zealand and play that domestic league.

27:10Jase:So it's a great, great idea, and they're hoping to have it up and running by the end of this year, well, for next summer.

27:14Keyzie:And my understanding of it, too, is that they're talking about the regions, as they are kind of set up now, but they are set up as franchises. That's right.

27:23Jase:So they need investors. Now, fellas... So there could be... So there's one thing that could happen where you might end up having, what is it, the Calcutta Knight Riders. Well, that's one thing, but the alternative could be that you have a local rich son of a bee that comes in and just go, you know, some local guy. Peter Jackson. Yes. Peter Jackson might want to do, you know, the Wellington, you know, Hobbit.

27:45Mogey:You could do the Matamata Hobbits. There you go. That's where the Hobbiton is.

27:49Jase:There you go. So something like that. So hopefully it would be more Kiwi-owned.

27:53Mogey:What about, because we could put all our finances together because you've got, obviously, Jase, you've got Dog Squad money.

27:58Keyzie:Yeah, well, I was going to say, I'm looking at investments at the moment and this has very much piqued my interest. I don't think I'd need your guys' money.

28:05Mogey:Are you sure? Because Mogi could put his Hunt for the Wilderpeople money towards it. Yes, you've got your Game of Two Halves money. Yes, and all of these funds are just fit to bursting with coin.

28:15Keyzie:Well, they are. And, you know, I'm thinking we're Auckland-based. I mean, for all of New Zealand in terms of our radio show, but we're Auckland-based, so maybe an Auckland franchise. Sure. Are we sure you want to do Auckland? Well, it just makes sense that given that's where we work.

28:32Jase:That's right. And if I'm going to watch it, I'm not travelling anywhere. It needs to be in Auckland, right? Yes.

28:37Mogey:We could use a suburb of Auckland to spice it up. Yeah, yeah, yeah.

28:41Keyzie:In terms of names.

28:42Mogey:Well, because a lot of people have texted through stuff. See, these people didn't realise that it had to be Auckland-based. So someone's texted through here, which is a great suggestion, the Gore Glory Holes. Yeah, sure. Keen, I'd be into that. The big show Snoz Smackers. I mean, you need to put a city in front of that. This is a terrible suggestion. The cricket team should be called Bird Shit Chris. Not bad. No, that's terrible.

29:05Keyzie:Well, you know, you want it to be short and catchy. The Auckland Jizz. The Auckland Jizz. Say it one more time.

29:18Mogey:The Auckland Jizz. I feel like we're naming too many things Jizz. It's my personal feeling, Horty Jers.

29:27Keyzie:If it's going to be my franchise, I want my name all over it.

29:31Mogey:Right, okay. Well, people are suggesting, you know, the Auckland Areolas, Mogies, Moguls. You could call them the Auckland on all fours. Looking over their shoulder. Actually, this one from Hayden. The Auckland inner-city apartment living upper-class douche fritters.

29:48Mogey:So, look, keep the suggestions coming on 3483. Every text in the drawer for$50. Cash, thanks to Toledo's.

29:54Keyzie:How good, man. In the meantime, oh, civil war by guns. Oh, yeah. Roses.

30:02Mogey:The Hauraki Big Show, weekdays from four on Radio Hauraki.

30:09Keyzie:Yes, indeed, guns. Roses here on the Radio Hauraki Big Show this Wednesday afternoon. The time is 25 minutes past five o 'clock.

30:19Mogey:Keep those texts coming for what we should name the next T20 franchise here in New Zealand. Yes. Jase is going to buy it. Yes, with my dog squad money. His dog squad money. He wants it to be based in Auckland. We're just looking for a name. Text through on 3483. Every text in the draw for 50 bucks. Cash.

30:32Jase:Fellas, I've been looking to buy some new furniture. I'm just wondering what the hell is going on. Sure. All right, so I need some new furniture for my podcast studio. Setting one up. I need a couch and two single-seaters. Now, there was a few issues that I had. I went out today and I went to a whole bunch. I went out to Sylvia Park, and it's got a whole bunch up here in Auckland, and a whole bunch of different furniture stores all close to each other. So I thought, well, this will be easy. So I went out there. I want a couch and two single seaters. The first thing I found was that I can have a couch and another couch.

31:05Jase:Very hard to find a couch with two single seaters. Matching singles, right. You can have two occasional chairs. You kind of want them full time though. Never, never, never even heard of that. An occasional chair. Well, occasional chairs. And what they are, the recommendation by various people at different shops was have these occasional chairs and pair them with a couch. I said, but I want it to look like they're the same. No, we don't really have that. Yeah. Then I finally managed, and without a word of light, after hours of looking, I found exactly what I wanted. I said, I have this. Are you able to deliver it or when can you deliver it?

31:41Jase:I'm thinking it would be this Saturday because I need it for Monday. July, they told me. You can have it in July. That's crazy. It's not used to me in July. Who's buying furniture in March for July?

31:59Mogey:It's bizarre. I forgot about this because we bought a couch. This is like five years ago now. We bought a couch for our living room, and we put the order in, and it showed up six months later. Yes. What the hell, man?

32:08Jase:What they're doing is because it used to be that they would have all of these warehouses all around the place, right? So you'd have these warehouses. They'd buy all of the furniture, and then they'd sell all the furniture out of it. But now they do all the shipping that comes from another country. So you order it essentially and then it comes months later. That's four months later. Yeah, that's insane. So it used to be back in the day, the saying used to be the customer comes first. Yes. Now the customer comes last. And then they work their way back from there. And I want it to change because I want to come first.

32:38Jase:I'm the one paying the money. I come first. That's the rule. Old Mogey comes first.

32:47Mogey:See, I don't necessarily, and that's a good topic you've struck on here, Mogey. I personally, you know, occasionally I'll come first, but most of the time I find I've just accepted the fact that I come last. You know, because I'm ordering. If at all. If at all. No, they always arrive eventually. Yeah, sometimes not. We get there. Yeah, actually, I have had an order cancelled before. Yes, that's right. We ordered two occasional chairs. Yeah. Yeah, they cancelled the order.

33:12Jase:I was going to say, well, don't worry about it.

33:14Keyzie:It's weird, isn't it? Maybe it's because I'm a pretty laid-back sort of character. But I've always had a philosophy of I come last. Right. That's weird.

33:27Mogey:So your whole philosophy in life is you come last.

33:29Keyzie:Yeah, because... That's weird. Then you don't get stressed out about stuff, you know, timelines and stuff. I come last.

33:37Jase:Occasionally I come first. Yeah, yeah, right. So if it comes to you eventually, then you're fine. If you get it at some point, you're happy. That's right. Right. As long as you get it.

33:47Keyzie:As long as I get it at some point. You know what I mean?

33:52Jase:Here's the trouble, I guess, what I have with it. You walk through the door. You've agreed to terms. You agree what you want. You pay them the money.

34:03Jase:Well, when do I get my goods and services? Sometimes it's services. When does old Moggy get serviced? I've given you the money. Service me.

34:14Mogey:The Hauraki Big Show with Jase, Mike and Kesey. Tune in weekdays at four on Radio Hauraki.

34:21Keyzie:Everclear there on the Radio Hauraki Big Show this Wednesday evening. The time is 5.36, which means it's time for...

34:32Mogey:Can you throw to it with some gusto, please? What's on the news? with me, Casey. Fellas, huge news hitting the country as we speak. Okay, as we speak, this is fresh, red hot, piping hot, fresh out the oven, ready to serve. Take it out to the front, give it to the customers, put it on their plate in front of them, tell them to dig in. News.

35:03Mogey:Fellas? All right, we'll get on with it. A subtropical low. is forecast to bring two days of stormy weather to Northland. Yeah. And like Auckland and Bay of Plenty as well, the upper North Island is set to get battered for the next couple of days with heavy rain and particularly wind. So.

35:25Jase:Big winds incoming. So you've gone from telling us things that have happened way in the past to things that are going to happen in the future.

35:35Keyzie:I mean, what are we doing? And to rub salt into the gaping wound. She's a gaper. It's a weather forecast.

35:45Mogey:No, it's not. It's huge news. MetService has issued a 53-hour heavy rain watch. Okay? And my question is, you know, like this rain that we've been hit with year after year, like it seems to happen so much nowadays. But now this one in particular is saying heavy wind. So I thought what we could do here is say, what are some tips to deal with heavy wind?

36:10Keyzie:Tips? Well, didn't Mogey use those charcoal pills?

36:17Mogey:When he was, you know, oh, sorry, I see what you've done here. No, not talking flatulence. You're talking about, like, so if it's really windy, what do you do to prepare for that? What can you do at your house?

36:25Jase:Do you just stay inside?

36:27Mogey:Well, yeah, you stay inside, but is there, like, stuff you can do to prepare, you know?

36:30Keyzie:Oh, God, I really didn't think it could get worse.

36:36Keyzie:We're heading into autumn.

36:38Mogey:Yeah.

36:39Keyzie:And there's going to be some wind and some rain.

36:41Mogey:No, it's a genuine alert. Yeah, I know, but look. Do you tie down stuff?

36:47Jase:The amount of alerts that you get. They're shocking by us that's down there at MetService. They're like the boy who cried wolf. Just about to say it, Maggie.

36:56Mogey:Yeah, except every time a wolf comes. I don't know what's funny about that.

37:05Mogey:There's nothing funny about that. What? A strong wind watch is also in place from Wednesday evening. That's tonight. Yeah. Through to Friday evening. So I'm just going to say my advice is to tie down your trampolines and stuff like that. Your umbrellas, put them away. Your outside umbrellas. Didn't we talk about this last year?

37:25Keyzie:Yeah, we did.

37:26Jase:Didn't we board it up the house? Yes, yeah. He brought it up the windows. Yeah, okay.

37:31Keyzie:Yeah, yeah, yeah. Okay, cool. Anyway. So it's kind of, it is a year old.

37:35Jase:Oh, God. This is old as.

37:39Mogey:Vels, I'm trying really hard just to, you know, freshen up the content around here.

37:44Keyzie:Here's the BC boys.

37:45Mogey:Don't you wrap me up like that. The Hauraki Big Show with Jase, Mike and Keezy. Tune in weekdays at four on Radio Hauraki.

37:55Keyzie:Welcome back. The Big Show. Magic Round 3B. Let's put another mad bastard on the bench. All three mad bastards. Now, just very quickly, fellas, before we get into the Magic Round chat, I put the idea to you yesterday about Hoity J having a bit of a diversion. You fellas doing the rugby league over in Brizzy and Hoity J and his wife doing a bit of a cultural tour. I know, I know that initially you were massively against it, but having had a night to think about it, Where are you at with it now? Keen.

38:28Mogey:I guess more my, I mean, I'm keen too, because you just won't be there, right? Like, you'll be there, but not at the rugby league. Yes. And you'll be, like, at art galleries and stuff. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Like, what does the audience get out of it?

38:39Keyzie:Well, I'll do social content and stuff. No, but they won't be interested in that.

38:43Mogey:Where are you at an art gallery?

38:44Keyzie:Well, I mean, I'll be, you know, cultural places, going on riverboat cruises and restaurants. I'll do restaurant reviews of the places to be in Brizzy. or with my beautiful wife, of course.

38:58Jase:Feels like you're wasting Rodeo Hardik's money.

39:01Keyzie:Well, I mean, I'm just talking about diversifying out here. Yeah, I'm still on the fence about it. Yeah, not keen. Oh, okay.

39:08Mogey:Well, hang on. Let's go to the lines then. G'day, Alex. How you going, man? Yeah, good luck. How are you? Yeah, buddy, good. Hey, Alex, would you rather come to Magic Round with us and enjoy three days of amazing rugby league awesomeness or go to an art gallery slash have a weekend of culture with Hoidi J? And my wife. That sounds a bit wounding rather go to the rugby league. Yeah, it does sound... See, Jase, people aren't into it.

39:33Keyzie:Alex, sorry, Dilly, can you just take Alex out of the draw?

39:37Mogey:No, Alex, you're in the draw, brother. Thanks for calling. Cheers, mate. Appreciate it. Thanks, Brian.

39:42Keyzie:G'day, Mike, you mad bastard. How's life?

39:44Mogey:Yeah, good, fellas. G'day.

39:46Keyzie:Good on you, mate. What do you do for a crust, Mike?

39:49Mogey:I'm a builder, mate. Oh, yeah.

39:51Keyzie:I'd love to know the percentage of builders that listen to, you know, the big show? Yeah, I would love to know that. It'd be huge.

39:58Mogey:Seriously, I would kill to know.

40:00Jase:If I had one wish. If I had one wish, it'd be to know how many builders listen to the big show.

40:04Keyzie:I mean, the more I listen to you two, the more I want to do my separate tour here. Hey, Mike. No, you go, Mike. No, Keezy, you go.

40:12Mogey:Okay, hey, Mike. Yeah, mate? What's for tea tonight? Spaghetti bolognese tonight. Who's made it, though? I'm in the middle of making it now. Oh, yeah. Sorry to interrupt you, man. Sorry to interrupt, mate. Tell you what, we'll let you get back to it. You're in the draw, all right? Legend. Back, mate.

40:30Keyzie:G'day, Ryan, you mad bastard. How's life? Yeah, good. Thank you, Hoody J. How are you? Yeah, good, thanks, mate. What do you do for a crust, Ryan? Mate, I'm a civil engineer.

40:41Mogey:Ah, backbone. Yeah, massive backbone.

40:44Jase:Massive backbone. What's so civil about engineers anyway?

40:50Jase:Well, we like to... Don't put me on the spot.

40:55Mogey:You ring up the radio to get in the draw and then Mogi hits you with a Guns N' Roses lyric.

41:00Keyzie:What kind of pun? Hey, Ryan, who's your favourite Bronco?

41:05Jase:Favourite Bronco, Reece Walsh. He's a legend, isn't he? Hate him. Hate his gut. You know Reece? Yeah.

41:12Mogey:Ryan likes Reece Walsh. Okay, that's a real... He's a red flag for me.

41:16Keyzie:Yeah, it is. I mean, good-looking fella, though, isn't he? Ryan, yeah, he's hot. Yeah, yeah. All right, Ryan, you're in the draw as well, mate. Thanks, mate. Good on you, mate.

41:26Mogey:Don't forget, it is three days of NRL awesomeness over in Brisbane. It's happening in May. If you want to be there and guarantee your spot, hit up boystrip.co.nz, and we will see you there, fellas.

41:36Keyzie:In the meantime, here's live...

41:37Mogey:The Hauraki Big Show with Jace, Mike, and Kesey. Tune in weekdays at 4 on Radio Hauraki.

41:44Keyzie:Sure is. Hope you're having a fantastic Wednesday night. You're listening to The Big Show brought to you by Toledo's.

41:50Mogey:Now, fellas, just quickly, I'm going to try once again to do the Boz Skaggs Toledo shuffle thing, all right? Just let me have a crack at this. I think we're on to something here. Me and Dilly. All right, here we go.

42:03Mogey:Toledos. All the good stuff. No nasties.

42:11Mogey:Toledos.

42:16Keyzie:What do you reckon? Shit ass. Out of ten buzzies? Yeah, sure. Zip. Nada. Okay. The big O.

42:29Mogey:Okay, so you're not feeling it? That's fine. Dilly's giving it nine buzzies out of ten. He's off his head. Yeah, he always is, though. Yeah, he is. He's ham.

42:38Keyzie:And I've noticed he's got his vaping there, too. He's just silently vaping away in the corner.

42:43Mogey:And you're looking at him in envy.

42:45Keyzie:I am, because I go outside to do my vaping. Hey, coming up very shortly, I've got some massive concerns about one of the members of the Big Show and I need to address it, all right? But in the meantime, here is Stereophonics.

43:01Mogey:The Hauraki Big Show with Jase, Mike and Keezy. Tune in weekdays at four on Radio Hauraki.

43:07Keyzie:The Verve Pipe there on the Radio Hauraki Big Show this Wednesday evening. The time is 14 minutes past six o 'clock. If you don't mind, Keezy, I'd like to call a show meeting. Show meeting! Show meeting! Show me the meeting! Show meeting is now in progress. Just a couple of points I'd like to raise with you both. First point is to do with both of you. Your perving is out of control.

43:36Mogey:Are you kidding me?

43:37Keyzie:Let's pull it, let's pull your... Are you kidding me right now? Let's pull your heads in and just grow up a bit, okay?

43:43Mogey:You're accusing me of perving on the radio. What do you mean by that?

43:46Keyzie:You know exactly what I mean.

43:48Mogey:Jase, I've got my back to the window, okay? I can't see what's going on. I've got blinders on here. I'm like a racehorse.

43:55Jase:All I can see, Jizz, is you and two TV screens behind you.

43:59Mogey:Yeah. Well, I'm a racehorse with blinders on, and all I can see is great radio ahead of me, and that's all I'm focused on.

44:06Keyzie:I've made my point. I'll leave it at that. You guys deal with it how you will.

44:09Mogey:So, yeah, but you can carry on perving.

44:11Keyzie:Excuse me, Keezy. I'm a happily married man. My second point, and of the most concern to me, Mogi, if this isn't too personal a question, and feel free to tell me if it is, but are you pregnant?

44:30Mogey:Oh, my God, are you?

44:32Keyzie:Is there something that you need to tell us, Mogi? No, I don't think so.

44:37Mogey:Why is that? Why would you ask that?

44:39Keyzie:The reason that I ask, and I've noticed over the last week that old Mogi is ingesting a vast, vast quantity of food. In fact, you came up to me, Keezy, before the show today. I came up to him. He was standing there and I approached him. And you said quietly under your breath, have you noticed how much old Mogi's eating at the moment? I said, have I? Now, just for the audience gratification, he's got a little bit of a nickname, old Mogi, in the studio. We call him Two-Fist Mogi. And that's in relation to whenever we get a free bag of chips.

45:15Mogey:Which is daily at the moment.

45:17Keyzie:Old Mogi two fists it.

45:19Mogey:He puts two hands in, grabs both hands with the chips and then puts them on a piece of paper in front of him.

45:24Keyzie:Yesterday we had the spectacle, and I kid you not, and even Keezy was disgusted and you know how much he likes to ingest, where Mogi had such a massive handful of chips that he had them pressed up against his T-shirt. Do you remember that, Keezy? Yeah, I remember that. He not only eats every chip in sight, he has two full meals that he brings from home. Anything lying around, any sort of chocolate, Toblerone, kitty cats, straight down the gob. What the hell is... And Kesey made a great point, Moggy, which was a little while back. A year ago, you went one year with no snacks in studio. That was two years, two or three years ago.

46:10Keyzie:Yeah, I know, but you went for one year, a whole year. What's happened? What's going on with you, man? We've run out of time.

46:17Mogey:No, Moggy.

46:20Jase:That question's taken you three and a half minutes to get out.

46:26Jase:Look, my question for you, Jase, is why are you so obsessed with food, man? I worry for you. I really do. You're worried you're eating too much. You're worried you're not eating enough. You're worried about the size of your buzzies. You're worried about the calories you're burning off going for walks. Now you're worried about me. I'm perfectly happy with who I am, man. Just leave me be.

46:45Keyzie:Keezy, you going to back me up here, man?

46:50Jase:I mean, you've had a go at me today about eating chips. This is just after you've gone out and grabbed a bag of chips and eaten them all to yourself. Then I come in with a bag of chips. It was a smack bang. And you say to me, Mogey, you're a shocker. I'm a shocker. then you are straight into my bag of chips eating my chips. So my question is, who is the shocker here?

47:13Mogey:I feel like we're in like an old person's home and both of you have got like Alzheimer's or something and you just forget that you've just eaten a heap of chips. And you're like, look at the status.

47:23Jase:I haven't forgotten that Jase has eaten a lot of chips. But 100%, I come in here, I do all my eating here, Jase. Okay. That's all right then. Now, if I start blowing out size-wise, like our mate Keezy over here, then you can step in. If I start doing 20 dumplings on Wednesday I had 15. A burrito on Monday, a burrito on Friday.

47:44Mogey:Yeah, that was good. We've got burritos tonight actually. Thanks for reminding me. The Hauraki Big Show. Weekdays from four on Radio Hauraki.

48:01Keyzie:Well there you go you mad bastards. That's the big show done and dusted this Wednesday. evening. What's the podcast outro clip today, Keezy?

48:08Mogey:Today's podcast outro clip, Jase, is you reminiscing about a beautiful evening when you're a young fella. Yeah.

48:18Keyzie:And I have this clear vision. We're all sculling from it. It was f***ing disgusting. It's medicine, isn't it? Yeah, it was disgusting. And I have this clear vision of my great mate Marty, and the moon was behind him, just doing this power chunder. into the crater. In silhouette. That's when my mate and I stole a bottle of creme de monthe from our matron at school and went up the mountain and drank it all. Responsibly. It was disgusting.

48:47Mogey:I don't know if it was responsible back then.

48:51Keyzie:No, it was totally irresponsible.

48:53Mogey:Yeah.

48:53Keyzie:Especially stealing it. Hey, Mogi, what time are you going to bed tonight?

48:58Jase:Might be a bit later tonight. I've got a bit more work to do. Right, okay. So go home. My wife's out and my daughter's out in a movie. this evening, yeah. So my daughter's very excited about that because she gets to come home late. And I'll be reporting on that tomorrow, actually. Great. Yeah. Keezy, what's for dinner, man?

49:16Mogey:Burritos.

49:16Jase:Oh, that's right. Third time in a week.

49:19Mogey:Leftover mints from last night.

49:21Keyzie:You're living like a king, brother. Hey, man, I'm happy.

49:24Mogey:I'm a happy fella. I'm a pig in shit, man. What are you having tonight, Jase? I don't know.

49:28Keyzie:I'm trying to decide between Thai, Indian, Korean, and dumplings.

49:33Mogey:And what about for dinner?

49:39Is that all G?

49:42Jase:Yeah, there's nothing wrong with that.

49:43Mogey:It doesn't really make sense. The dumplings part ruined it. Yeah, the dumplings, yeah. Yeah, yeah, yeah, that ruined it. Sorry, there's nothing there. That's all good. No, that's all good, man. I mean, we can keep talking. We don't have to just go silent. You know what I mean?

49:54Keyzie:But listen, make sure you check out the Instagram. Make sure you check out the podcast. Till tomorrow, see you later. Bye. Bye.