FULL SHOW: The Bird In Question

8:22Mike Minogue:The Hauraki Big Show with Jace, Mike and Keezy. Tune in weekdays at four on Radio Hauraki.

8:28Keyzie:Stone Temple Pilots here on the Radio Hauraki Big Show this Friday afternoon, the time being 4.38.

8:33Mike Minogue:Hey, fellas, later on tonight, my wife and I are going on a bit of a hot date.

8:39Keyzie:Oh, yeah. Hello. Now you're talking.

8:44Mike Minogue:We got a voucher. Oh, yeah. Voucher boy. He's back.

8:47Keyzie:Money bags, Keezy.

8:49Mike Minogue:I literally just said we've got a voucher.

8:51Keyzie:That's what I mean.

8:52Mike Minogue:What do you mean? Money bags, Keezy, what do you mean?

8:54Keyzie:Wouldn't it be voucher bags? You're a generous bastard. I got a voucher, babe. I'm taking you out. It's on me.

9:01Mike Minogue:We got a voucher for emceeing a wedding together. And so they bought us a dinner voucher for a lovely, really nice sort of hoity J calibre restaurant. So top end Auckland. Yeah, nice. Bloody expensive. And just thinking, like, been on a lot of hot dates with my wife. And I've been with her for 14 years. Truth. Long time. Have you guys ever... Long time. It's not that long. I mean, hopefully it goes for far longer as well.

9:32Keyzie:Well.

9:33Mike Minogue:Well, no, it's going to go for forever. This is going to say I'm a little bit nervous about talking about your wife at the moment.

9:42Keyzie:Key's here. Yeah, you should be. You should be.

9:45Mike Minogue:After you said she was ugly on the radio the other day. Anyway, what I'm getting at here is, have you guys ever spiced things up when it comes to a hot date? Have you ever done the thing where you show up and you pretend you don't know each other? and you sort of do a first date. Sort of like when the waitress comes over, you act like you don't know your wife. Well, no, not like that. More like you show up in the bar. Maybe you've got fake names. I don't know. Maybe you invent a bag. Or maybe you're just playing yourselves and you pretend you don't know each other.

10:16Keyzie:Right, okay, see where you're going.

10:17Mike Minogue:And then maybe she's up at the bar, and then I, you know... You go over there. Yeah, go next to her and then order a drink and then ask if she wants a drink. Have you ever done anything like that?

10:26Keyzie:No. No, I'd be really embarrassed. We tried it once. We did try it once, but yeah, it did. It just got embarrassing. And I think there's a certain amount of magic when it comes to that first-time attraction and the way that you've managed to capture each other, you know. There's a series of events that has to take place. And the problem with yourself and I, Jase, I mean, you've been out of the game for nigh-on 30 years, Jase. Yeah, mate. True. myself at 12 or 13 and Keezer you're not far away from that so the idea that you've got any kind of game it's a sort of a false it's a false horizon there it doesn't exist so you're only going to embarrass yourself now the fun thing the fun thing to do here would be to have your wife try and pick you up the other way around yeah right because she will have no game because women have never had to pick up anybody in their lives it's always the other way around so I would get that going because it'll still be a shambles, but at least it'll be funny.

11:29Yeah, because that's what I want.

11:30Mike Minogue:I want it to be funny.

11:31Keyzie:Have you ever thought of sort of gladiator peasant sort of scenario or queen and manservant? Yes.

11:42Mike Minogue:I'm not that keen to meet a manservant in a restaurant.

11:46Keyzie:You probably have a better chance with a manservant than your wife.

11:50Mike Minogue:Oh, yeah, true, actually. Well, I was just wondering if you guys have tried it. Maybe I won't. Well, you are, no, I think you should do it, definitely. Definitely. Because I'd like to see how it goes on. What do you mean, see? You're not going to be there. On Monday there. Oh, yeah.

12:01Keyzie:Can Mogi and I kind of secrete ourselves in the corner and see how it sort of all unfolds?

12:08Mike Minogue:I don't want you secreting anywhere near my wife and I's hot date, Jase.

12:16Keyzie:Yeah, they're making noises like that as well.

12:18Mike Minogue:Jeez. No, thank you.

12:20Keyzie:Really, it's got me going a little bit, actually.

12:23Mike Minogue:What, me having dinner with my wife?

12:25Keyzie:Well, no, just that sort of scenario you're talking about there, Kesey. What are you guys up to tonight? Do you want to come? Jason was dealing with his diarrhea he got from that Dorito dust last night. It's not diarrhea, it's blockage.

12:38Mike Minogue:That's so great. Here's the actor. The Hauraki Big Show. Weekdays from four on Radio Hauraki.

12:45Keyzie:Queens of the Stone Age there on the Radio Hauraki Big Show this Friday afternoon. Let's talk TV. What's on the telly with Mike Minogue?

13:09Yes.

13:12Good stuff, fellas. The other night I went along and saw the drummer from the Policeman's. The police, the band The Police. With Sting. With Sting. His name, I've got in my head Stuart Townsend, but I think that actually might be an actor. Wasn't it John? No, it was John Cook of Mellencamp. Yeah, you're right. Copeland? It's definitely something.

13:37Mike Minogue:Do you want me to Google it? Go on, give it a Google, see how we go. Anyway, he's a... God, he was an American. He was such an American. Right, okay. Massive... Well, I don't want to put these two things in the same sentence and say one means the other, but a massive punisher. Stuart Copeland. Stuart Copeland, thanks very much. And interesting life, though. He was born in the States, but was only there for two months, and then he moved over to Egypt. His father was a CIA agent, and he was pivotal in taking down the dictator of Egypt at the time and putting in a U.S. sympathiser, as they've been known to do once or twice, Kesey.

14:13Yes. A lot of oil over there, Kesey. So he sort of went over there and was raised in Egypt and that sort of area. Then he went over to London and got into the punk scene and all that sort of carry on. It was in two parts. Oh, okay. So there was an intermission. It was just him talking for a long time. And there was a woman there that was sort of emceeing it or sort of, you know, helping the conversation along once he stopped all of his, you know, sort of 10, 15, 20-minute monologues that he'd go on. He knew his stories really well. But then there was a 20-minute intermission. Yes. Did you leave?

14:48I left, yeah. Well, I mean, I was... I would. I was also buggered, and it was interesting. I would like to get his book. They said, I've got my book out there. In the four year, you can go out there and buy that. Went out there, no, we haven't got the book. We've only got T-shirts. Oh, he said you got the book. No, we haven't got the book. So I couldn't buy the book. Interesting guy. Him and Sting eventually, they fell out unsurprisingly because this guy would be a tough sort of a dude to hang out with for any extended period of time. But anyway, what's that worth? If I wasn't tired, I would have stayed.

15:23It would have been four buzzies.

15:25Keyzie:Okay, yeah, nice. Fellas, I've really been enjoying the Australian Tennis Open. I'm a big fan of tennis, particularly the women's game because it's not so orientated towards the power game of the men. And it's a bit more tactical, can I put it that way? You're saying it lacks a lot of the skill, which I thought was a shocking way to put it. And last night...

15:51Mike Minogue:But then you said you're not watching it for the skill anyway. Yeah. Which I thought was disgusting.

15:56Keyzie:And I think it's pretty fair to say that when it comes to the sporting arena at the moment, I'm pretty jaded on the old sport. I used to love my sport. Now, not so much. But last night, I watched a magnificent match between a guy called Arthur Geyer, who's a Frenchman. What's his name? Arthur Geyer. and he is like 20 or 21 years old. He got into the Australian Open through qualifying and he played like literally 12 hours of tennis in the last five days to get there against Stan Wawrinka, who's from Switzerland and he's 40 years old. He's bloody experienced. He's really experienced. He's won a few Grand Slams back in the day.

16:36Keyzie:Stan Wawrinka was actually a really good player.

16:38Mike Minogue:I think it's Wawrinka.

16:40Keyzie:Wawrinka, okay. And it was just a game where I, this is why I love sport. It was a young, really talented dude who was clearly fitter, clearly stronger. Let's call him Keezy. And an old fella who was wily and, you know, clever and just working the angles. It was one of the best games I've ever seen. The young fella took up the first set, boom, it looked like it was going to be all over very quickly. Well, Rinker came back in the second. and the young fella won the third, looked like he was going to win the fourth, and Wawrinka came back, went to a fifth set, probably the best tennis I've ever seen, with a young guy just sending down booming serves and power, and Wawrinka just working the angles.

17:24Keyzie:He won the match. Now he's through to the third round. He wasn't even expected to get past the first round because he's old and decrepit. Spoiler alert.

17:33Mike Minogue:Wawrinka, yeah, I was going to go home and watch that.

17:35Keyzie:Ruined it for everyone.

17:36Mike Minogue:It's already been played, you fools. How many buzzies out of five?

17:39Keyzie:Oh, that game, I'll give four buzies out of five. It was a great game of tennis.

17:44Mike Minogue:Right, so the greatest game of tennis you've ever witnessed and it's only four buzies out of five.

17:48Keyzie:I didn't say it was the greatest game I've ever witnessed, Keezy. You literally said that. You literally said that. There was Steffi Graf versus, what was her name, Sabatini. Oh, yeah. That was a cracker.

17:59Mike Minogue:Hey, coming up after five, fellas, the Friday throbber. Oh, yeah. This one's an absolute stonker. The Hauraki. Tune in. Weekdays at four on Radio Hauraki.

18:13Keyzie:It's the Hauraki Big Show's Friday Throbber. Yes, indeed. Great to have your company. Oh, damn it. Why do I keep forgetting that one? Shock and bastard. It's terrible. Thanks for joining us this Friday afternoon. Hope you're having a cracking day. Now, there may be a few people listening to us for the first time and they may be thinking to themselves, what is the Friday Throbber, fellas? That's true. Now, basically, the Friday Throbber, as we each pick a tune here in the studio, you guys out there and the general public decide what you want to play as your Friday Throbber to kick off the weekend.

18:48Keyzie:You call us on 0800 Hauraki, and the first to two wins.

18:52Mike Minogue:That's right, Jase. It's a magnificent segment. We've been doing it since the start of the show, to be honest. We have. And it always goes down well. And Pugs, our producer in Studio B, is on record saying that this robber is the best one that he's seen in a while. Yes. He's absolutely almost interested in it. Can I just... And I don't want to focus on this. Here we go. Here we go. Here we go.

19:16Keyzie:Has it been 14 weeks now for you, Keezy, since your last win? Yes. Because it was like 13 last year and it was one this year. I think it was 13 going into the last one last year which made it 14. That was 15 last week. Oh, it was 15. Okay. I just take note of it. But they also always count the break. So that was another four weeks. So 19. 19 weeks since he's had a win. It is. Well, technically speaking, it is, I suppose.

19:45Mike Minogue:Yeah. I mean, it doesn't matter. Honestly, guys, as long as we're making great radio, then I'm winning, all right?

19:55Keyzie:We're all winning. Yeah, true, man, true.

19:57Mike Minogue:Good stuff. Yeah, well, why don't you start us off, Jase, man? What song did you pick today, man? I went...

20:02Keyzie:No, no, not Deftones. I went for a bit of Muse Unraveling.

20:21Mike Minogue:Wow, they're really going to town on all sorts of instruments and things there, aren't they? They are, man. Yeah, man. That's a good song, though. Thanks, man. What did you go with, old Keezy? Why do you always get to go last, Matt? He does go last a lot, doesn't he? I'm happy going now. I just couldn't remember the name of the song that I went for. All right, here's the song that I chose. It is from Pearl Jam. Oh, great. I love a bit of Pearl Jam. Oh, who doesn't? It's a song as well that I thought stations would play more, but they never seem to. What? Once. Oh. All right. Back street lover on the side of the road.

20:52I got a ball in my tail.

20:53Mike Minogue:I got a 16-day barrier. I got a 16-day barrier. One, four, five times I could control myself That's a tune. I love that song. That's the first Pearl Jam song I ever heard and was like, wow, this band rules.

21:09Keyzie:Totally, man. And that conjures all sorts of memories for Hoity J. I loved that song back in the day. I still love it now.

21:16Mike Minogue:You should call 0800-HORAKI and vote for it, man. I'm going to. Good idea. Mogi? Old Mogi here. He's gone with a bit of Prodigy, Invaders Must Die.

21:42Keyzie:Well, there you go, New Zealand. Three throbbers there. You decide. Give us a call right now on 0800 Hauraki. In the meantime, here's Lincoln Park.

21:51Mike Minogue:The Hauraki Big Show. Weekdays from four on Radio Hauraki.

21:58Keyzie:It's the Horaki Big Show's Friday Throbber. Eyes to the front, baby. You're a shocker. Oh, God damn it. Old hoity Jay, man. What's happened to your brain, brother? I have some sort of weird mental block with that one at the moment. I just forget that that's what we do with it. It's been 19 weeks since he's done that.

22:19Mike Minogue:Yeah. If people don't know what we're talking about, at the start of the Throbber we go, Douche, douche. Randomly after the intro. With the music. With the music, yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Today's Friday Throbber is a good and feelers. Yeah, I think so. It's just a wild card, three massive tunes. Jase, you were first. What was the name of your song?

22:36Keyzie:Unraveling by Mews.

22:41I love that little noise in there.

22:51Mike Minogue:That is a tune, though. I chose one by Pearl Jam. It is Once.

23:08And I went Invaders Must Die by Prodigy. By who? Prodigy. Prodigy. Lovely.

23:27Keyzie:Three turns. Yeah, man. There you go. You decide, New Zealand. Let's go to the phone lines. G'day, Kurt, you mad bastard. How's life?

23:35Mike Minogue:I'm pretty grouse there, mate. How are you fellas? Yeah, good, thanks, mate.

23:39Keyzie:What are you running with there, Kurt?

23:41Mike Minogue:Jase, you just sound like you've got multiple songs playing at the same time, so that's probably why Pugs is so keen on this one. But I'm going for Mogey. I don't want to break third shit, vroom, vroom, Chris's street. Thanks very much, Kurt. See, we need to stop. No, seriously, this is the thing that we need to... You guys are influencing the outcome of the throbber. We're just talking. By yarning about this right at the voting stage. Okay, look, after the throbber plays today, we'll come up with a solution for this move forward. Definitely.

24:13Keyzie:Let's go to Patrick on line two. G'day, Patrick, you mad bastard. What are you running with? I'm thinking we get tea here, weren't you fellas? Yeah, cool. Oh, I'm going to have to go with Teezy, sorry, fellas. No, no, don't be sorry. That's totally okay.

24:30Mike Minogue:That's Patrick. I appreciate it. And the good thing about the way he just did that was he didn't compliment the song at all. No, he's just trying to get you a win. Which really takes a little bit pity.

24:40Keyzie:Hey, is that Jory?

24:42Mike Minogue:G'day, Jory. How's it going?

24:44Keyzie:Yeah, good, mate. What are you running with, Jory? I am going to pick Keezy because it was a tune and he needs a win. Yeah. Thanks, Jory. See, it works both ways, Keezy.

24:55Mike Minogue:Yeah, but I had to throw my ice to the front. I had to throw my toys first, and now Jory's giving me the sympathy vote. Thank you very much, Jory. I appreciate it, mate. Yeah, great stuff.

25:03Keyzie:Love you, man. Congratulations, Keezy. And the good news is I love this song, so I'm going to turn it up in my headphones here.

25:10Mike Minogue:That's right. It is Pearl Jam once, and if you want to give your opinion on the Throbber, don't forget to text us on 3483. The Hauraki Big Show. Weekdays from 4 on Radio Hauraki.

25:23Keyzie:June, that's your Friday throbber there once by Pearl Jam. Keezy's finally off the mark again. You feel good about that, Keezy?

25:32Mike Minogue:Yeah, I mean, I guess so. You got a monkey off your back, man. Well, I don't know if it's a monkey.

25:36Keyzie:The old albatross around the neck.

25:38Mike Minogue:Yeah. So I got a monkey on my back and an albatross around my neck because I hadn't won the throbber in like a little while. Yeah, and a thumb in your ass. It's been shocking from you, man. Whoa The good news is Just looking at the scoreboard here Way out in front Way out in front On one win For the year Mogey and Keezy tied Killing it In last place Way behind Old Hoity J on zero wins Yeah well

26:06Keyzie:You know I'm very happy to cop that It was a great song It was a great tune It's a great tune yeah It's cheered you up That's cheered you right up Old Keezy It's made no difference Seriously It honestly takes me back to a time in my life, that song, and I used to pump the ass out of it. The song.

26:23Mike Minogue:Oh, the song.

26:24Keyzie:Yeah, and I used to turn it up full role.

26:27Mike Minogue:Yeah, nice, mate. So the good news is, fellas, the 19-week losing streak, it's all over.

26:34Keyzie:But it's the longest in history. By about nine weeks, I think.

26:38Mike Minogue:You're just pulling that figure out of your ass, by the way, speaking of us. And also, I don't want next week's Throbber to start with Jase saying, now look, just saying, Keezy's on a hot streak or Keezy's this or Keezy's that or Keezy's cock-a-hoop. Because that is influencing the vote. Okay, then. I think the only way that we can do this, and if you can manage this, Keezy, is that we have to do it. It has got to be anonymous. We just, Pugsarm plays three. We give them to him. He plays them out. Bang, bang, bang. Nobody knows who it is until the winner's announced. I think we tried this once in a while.

27:15And then you kept on saying who. No, no, no.

27:18Mike Minogue:Like ages ago, I'm talking years ago, and the audience didn't like it. Oh. They were like, oh, I want to know whose song is whose. Oh, then you're just going to have to put up with it. I was trying to offer it. That's the only solution there is, is to have it anonymous. Yeah, yeah. Why don't we try it, see what happens. Also. It's very easy to know because Jace always chooses the Deftones. I always choose Prodigy and Rage. and you always choose the Thompson Twins. Okay, I chose the Thompson Twins once about three years ago. Or, okay, I'm keen to try. The other thing, you say that that's the only way around it or Jase could just not mention anything to do with me going into this, Robert.

27:55Mike Minogue:Yeah. Is that possible?

27:56Keyzie:I don't know that it is, Keezy.

28:00Mike Minogue:Oh, well, at least I've got a win for the year and Jase does it. Here's LNOP. The Hauraki Big Show. Weekdays from 4 on Radio Hauraki

28:10Keyzie:Green day there on the Radio Hauraki Big show this Friday afternoon The time is 25 minutes past 4 o 'clock I believe in the middle of that tune We played the Reburger sting Yum

28:20Mike Minogue:Certainly did, Jase And the good news is Pugs has made a brand new Reburger intro Oh, how good Which is exciting, yeah, here it is here

28:31Keyzie:God, he's getting lazy I heard he's made a new sting for you Oh yeah we'll get into that a little bit later on actually No we won't We definitely will

28:41Mike Minogue:He has made a new stink for me do you want to hear it Yes Okay here it is

28:52Are you pleased with that Yeah I love it Yeah cool we're never going to use it ever again Can you imagine that on a t-shirt

28:58Mike Minogue:Bird shit brum brum key I think it was brum brum bird shit

29:03Keyzie:Yeah, whatever it is, it's not going on a T-shirt, right? That is so good. Let's go to the phone lines. G'day, Toto, you mad bastard. How's life?

29:11Mike Minogue:Life is yum! Yum! Good on you, Toto.

29:14Keyzie:Yeah, good on you, mate. What do you do for a crust, Toto?

29:17Mike Minogue:What I do for a crust is I bake bread. Oh, yeah, nice.

29:22Keyzie:I'd love to. So you're a baker, obviously.

29:25Mike Minogue:Yeah, man.

29:26Keyzie:I would love that kind of job, I reckon. And the smell of freshly baked bread, fellas. Is there a better smell in the world? I think not.

29:34Mike Minogue:The hours are a bit average, though. Yeah, what time are you rolling out of the old fart sack there, man? Oh, Sparrow's Fart. Sparrow's Fart. Yeah, right. So what's that, like 4 a.m.? Yeah, 3.30. 3.30. Jeez, that's right. But what time are you back in the old fart sack there? Oh, 3.30. Jeez, really? Is that right? Yep. Do you stop off at the pokies on the way home? and the other red light place. Yeah,

30:06Keyzie:good on you, Toto.

30:08Mike Minogue:Do you drive there in your old fart box, man? Yeah, it's a Holden fart box. Yeah, nice.

30:16Keyzie:Hey, Toto, what are the plans for the weekend, mate?

30:20Mike Minogue:I'm just down at Taupo doing a bit of work and I might see if I can sneak into the old summer concert. Oh, okay, yeah, nice. That concert goes good. Who's playing this year, man? Oh, Iggy Pop and Ved. Oh, awesome. Oh, wow. Yeah, that goes really good at the old, the boulder. I've been to a few of them. God, Topol is always chocker, though, isn't it? Oh, it's crazy. Yeah, don't try to go to the supermarket today. Yeah, yeah, yeah. It's true, yeah.

30:44Keyzie:Well, I tell you what, Toto. Hang on, hang on.

30:47Mike Minogue:We've got to ask him the questions. Oh, haven't we? We've already asked him about 10. Yeah, but all of those were fart sack related. We've got to ask him the actual questions. We need the questions. They can be relatively quick. Okay, here we go. Real quick, Toto. This is just admin in order to make sure you can win the prize. What's for dinner?

31:05Mike Minogue:Pork mints. That's quite good. Yeah, you're good. How often do you floss? Every Wednesday. Yeah, nice. What colour are your undies? Minecraft pattern. Oh, I've seen those. Minecraft pattern. You've got some of those undies. Yeah, I've got some of those, Jase. And what's your deepest fear?

31:29Mike Minogue:the missus. Yeah, that's wise, mate. Good stuff, Todd. Well, the good news is, mate, you've officially got yourself that$50 Reeburger voucher, mate. Yee-haw.

31:37Keyzie:Good on you, mate. Enjoy that. Get some fries with your burger there, mate. Beautiful. Legend.

31:41Mike Minogue:Thanks, guys. And hoity, Jay.

31:43Keyzie:Yes.

31:44Mike Minogue:Can you just put me through to Captain Pugwash?

31:47Keyzie:Yeah, yeah, totally. We'll put you through right away, mate. Beautiful.

31:51Mike Minogue:Thanks, Todd-O. Thanks for listening, mate. God.

31:54Keyzie:He was a bat, man, wasn't he? He was. Absolutely.

31:56Mike Minogue:He was banging on about the farts there. Yeah, what the hell is a fun fact. Coming up next, by the way, fellas, Mogi, you've teed up some sort of tui expert to have you. Yeah, yeah, I have. This guy, he's an ecologist, Jase. You heard about those? Yes. He's an absolute weapon. He knows all about birds. So he's going to first, he reckons he'll be able to tell us what kind of bird it is instead of this sort of back and forth we've been having with the listeners. Some say tui, some say sparrow, some say moor. Moor. Juvenile moor. Juvenile moor. Someone said a kiwi. Oh, it could be a kiwi. Yeah, in the tree there.

32:29Mike Minogue:Yeah, crammed up the tree there. Yeah, yeah. I'm not sure what a kiwi sounds like. And if you don't know what we're talking about, Mogi's got a bird that wakes him up every morning at 4 a.m. Yes. He's not sure what it is. Every morning. Yeah, yeah. So we'll be chatting to him next. The Hauraki Big Show, weekdays from four on Radio Hauraki.

32:46Keyzie:Smashing pumpkins there on the Radio Hauraki Big Show this blustery Friday afternoon. We were talking earlier in the show about Mogi's bird issues, weren't we, Mogi? We absolutely were, mate. I've got some bastard up there in a tree next door and he starts roaring at about 4 o 'clock every single morning, goes for a couple of hours, wakes up all the other birds. Once he's done that job, he goes for the day and the other birds keep me awake. We've put it over the airwaves today and we've got a lot of texts on 3483. There's still some disagreement as to exactly what kind of bird it is. Some people say tui.

33:21Some people say sparrow. We don't really know. Spotted tit. Yeah, spotted tit.

33:26Mike Minogue:Yeah. But fortunately, we've got Nick Goldwater on the line. He is the Senior Principal Ecologist at Wildlands New Zealand. How good, man. How good's that? G'day, Nick. How's life? Oh, good, good. Yeah, no, great to be on the show with you guys. We need to put to bed what kind of a bird this actually is. So Keezy's going to play the tune for you and see what you reckon. See if you can name that bird. All right, here it comes. Sure.

33:58Mike Minogue:Yep, I know that call.

34:00Keyzie:What are we looking at there, Nick?

34:03Mike Minogue:That would be the tui or the parson bird. Oh, I thought so, yeah. They start up very early in the morning in some parts of Auckland. They certainly do, mate. They certainly do. And I guess I'm at the point now, because when I first moved in and you hear a tui going at 4 o 'clock, you think to yourself, jeez, how lucky am I? How beautiful. One of New Zealand. Aotearoa's great natives, the tui. Beautiful bird it is. but by the second day you're completely over it. Yeah, yeah. You're not the first person to complain about that and this typically happens in urban areas where they actually start their morning shift about an hour, an hour and a half earlier than they would in the forest.

34:43Right.

34:43Mike Minogue:That's because it's the quiet time before the traffic and the human noises start so they like to get their calls in particularly in breeding season which is summer.

34:55Keyzie:Oh, yeah.

34:56Mike Minogue:Those males like to get their voices out, call to their neighbours and call to their...

35:03Keyzie:Potential lovers.

35:04Mike Minogue:Yeah, right. Potential lovers, yeah. So, Nick, are you telling me this tui that's in Mogi's tree is not only waking them up first thing in the morning, but it's also running a rager? Absolutely. Like humans, tui are pretty much preoccupied with sex, food, and territory at this time of year. so he'll be on the lookout for potential mates and also telling other males just to keep their distance it's like hey can I just ask you what area you're in? We're right by the bridge at St Mary's Bay yep because I recognise that I recognise that call because that call is the same dialect as the Tui and my I'm just down the road in Ponsonby I'm a neighbour of Johnny Brough's your good colleague Johnny Brough!

35:52Mike Minogue:Oh, God. It's the same goddamn bird. Yeah, it's the same tribe, for lack of a better word. Nick. They have their own – there's a dialect in Ponsumby, St. Mary's Bay, Hearn Bay, Greyland area. Can I just – We call them the car alarm tui. They sound like a bloody car alarm. Can I just guess – So I recognise that straight away. Nick, their dialect coming from Ponsumby and St. Mary's Bay, is it like, ooh, ooh, I'm better than all the other birds?

36:20Keyzie:I'm just going to park my pajero and then we'll pop in.

36:25Mike Minogue:That's right. That's right. It's got a certain toffiness to their dialect. So there's probably a certain amount of hard and up that I've got to do here, Nick, but it is 4 o 'clock. Even if it was 5 o 'clock, I could deal with it because I'm an early riser anyway. But this Tui, he's taken the piss, man. They do take the piss. They've got a sense of humour and they know they're upsetting people, but they're a protected species so there's not much you can do about it. Have you tried sleeping downstairs in the spare room? Mate, we're in the quietest room that there is. Why am I moving? Get that goddamn bird out of there.

37:03The only thing I was hoping for, you know what I was hoping for? I was hoping, I was like, look, I can't do it to it. I can't kill a toot. I wouldn't want to but I can't even get rid of it. What can I do? And I thought, oh, I'd probably be dead soon. I googled their lifespan. 20 effing years, man. 20 effing years. 20 years on the long side.

37:21Mike Minogue:It's around 12. Oh, sweet. 20 years. You could set up a bird feeder somewhere else in the garden. That's a good idea, man. Yeah, it's a bit more humane. Hey, in other news, Nick, I just got a kitten, so in a couple of months I'll be sending that basket straight up the top.

37:39Keyzie:Hey, Nick, thanks so much for joining us, mate. We appreciate your expertise. We'll get you on again soon, probably.

37:45Mike Minogue:I'd love to, love to. See you, fellas. Good on you, mate. The Hauraki Big Show with Jace, Mike and Keezy. Tune in weekdays at four on Radio Hauraki.

37:54Keyzie:Faith No More there on the radio. Hauraki Big Show this blustery Friday afternoon. Fellas, if you don't mind, I've got a bone to pick. I got a bone to pick. Now, Mogi, you'll be aware of the fact that old Keezy... I knew it.

38:15Mike Minogue:So for a second there, I was like, oh, yeah, he's got a bone to pick with Mogi. He might yet. No, I doubt it, though. He might yet. Okay, carry on. Old Keezy.

38:26Keyzie:I'd never have a bone to pick with Mogi. I know.

38:28Mike Minogue:That's what I'm getting at.

38:31Keyzie:Now, Mogi, you'll be aware of the fact that old Keezy and I, when we finish our day's hard jacker, walk to the car park together. You do. And that's good. You know, we have a little bit of chit-chat. what are you up to and all that sort of stuff. Sure. But every single night without fail, old Kesey has to do wheeze. On the way out. On the way out. Every single night. Yeah. So what ends up happening is I go out onto the street and Kesey goes, oh, hold on, man, I've just got to go wheeze. Now, I don't know if he's got like a 50-litre bladder or what's going on or there's some staccato action happening.

39:17Keyzie:But without fail, every time it takes at least 10 minutes. And I'm standing out and I'm on the street there.

39:27Mike Minogue:Okay, here we go. I'm on the street there.

39:29Keyzie:And it's like a wind tunnel, that street, mate. Yes, you'll know. And I'm freezing my tits off. You consider standing inside? Well, no, because, you know, you and I are very similar. We like to get to where we're going. And every single time Keezy has to do wheeze, and every single time it takes more than 10 minutes. Jase, okay, first of all, Mogey,

39:50Mike Minogue:do you believe that it takes me 10 minutes to do wheeze? Look, it sounds like there's a bit of mayo on it. A bit of mayo. It takes me two minutes tops to go wheeze. In fact, earlier in the show today, there was a song playing, 1157 by LMNOP was playing. I went wheeze, came back before the song had even finished. Right. And that song's only like three minutes 30. So how do you explain that, Mr. Lying About Wees?

40:16Keyzie:Well.

40:16Mike Minogue:Which is your new nickname, Pugs Make a Sting.

40:18Keyzie:The way that I explain that, Keezy, is that you tend to punish about 10 glasses of water before you leave. And then it all just builds up into a bloated balloon bladder. And, you know, you've said from when you were a young fella, you've got a very sort of thin urinal tract. Yeah. from all the medications you used to get. So it does take a little while to come out. What I do, Jase, is I just leave without him. Yeah, but I, you know. But is it because he helps you across the road? That's right. He helps me across the road, and I like our little chit chats. You know what I mean? It's just the 10 to 15 minutes that I have to wait every night for him to do wheeze.

41:02Mike Minogue:Everyone, it's gone up to 15 minutes now for me to do wheeze. Okay, Jase, I need to drink lots of water, all right? I just want to stay hydrated. And I like to go wheeze first because I drive on the Auckland motorway home and sometimes it can take ages and I want to be busting. Yeah, I get that. Okay? Yeah, well, I mean, I'm... Because I would have suggested that you go for a wheeze slightly earlier. Thank you. But I do take your point there that it's a long drive home for you.

41:24Keyzie:But he's a fit young buck, Mogi. How many wheeze does he need to do in an afternoon? Oh, you have to ask him. How many wheeze do you need to do, Matt? Well, I know you like to do like eight steamers. Oh, about 15 steamers. What's wrong with you guys? 10 to 15 steamers.

41:39Mike Minogue:Jase, don't come at me about going wheeze, all right? I like going wheeze. Okay.

41:45Keyzie:Hey, now listen, coming up after 6 o 'clock, Keezy's worried about pucks.

41:51Mike Minogue:Oh, yeah, that's right. I forgot I said that too. Yeah, that's coming up next. It might not be, though.

41:56Keyzie:It might not. And we've got some meat patty nips, some advice to give out.

42:03Mike Minogue:The Hauraki Beat Show with Jase, Mike and Keezy. Tune in weekdays at 4 on Radio Hauraki.

42:09Keyzie:Welcome back, you massive backbones. Hope your Friday's going off. You're listening to The Big Show brought to you by Rebeer Gear.

42:16Mike Minogue:Handcrafted burgers, loaded fries, and gourmet eats that will change the game. Ah, that's really quite yummy.

42:25Mike Minogue:So are we just going to go silent after that? What's the... Um, I'd like to vote that one down. Thank you. That was a shocker.

42:33Keyzie:Really? That just reeked of... I can't be arsed.

42:38Mike Minogue:Okay, so I feel like you guys have come back and have been really harsh on the Reburger stings because we've played that heaps last year. I've never heard that before, have you? I think I might have done, but yeah, I don't know, Kezi, I don't know. You know, look, we've had in-depth conversations with our content director and he said some things you've got to park. So something's got to go. It's not going to be something that, you know, Jase has made up or you. I thought he was talking about one of us. Oh, yeah, probably. Do you reckon he was talking about a sting? You're right, actually, now that I think about it.

43:04Keyzie:Hey, just on Reburger, guys. Well, I know you're going out for dinner tonight, Kesey, but is Friday night in your household's takeaways night, generally speaking? For myself, this evening, I don't know what's going on. But no, it's not. Okay. I prefer a Sunday. Okay, yeah, nice. I prefer doing no cooking on a Sunday. I hear. Well, actually, funny you should say that. Sunday's now becoming our household new recipe day. That's funny. What's an example of a new recipe? Well, something we've never cooked before. Ooh, like... I was thinking more specific. Well, I don't know what it is yet this Sunday, and I'm on the new recipe.

43:44Mike Minogue:Like nachos with peri-peri baked beans? That's new. Yum. You did that the other night, eh? Yeah, you loved it. You loved it. What about some Dorito dust? Are you going to talk about that yet? Because Jase has got a theory that he's blocked up inside, and it's because of the Doritos I bought yesterday. Now, this is 100 % based in science. Yeah. Yeah, totally.

44:05Keyzie:We'll get to it. We will at some point. And I'm still blocked up, fellas, but people might be eating, so I'm not going to go into depth here.

44:11Mike Minogue:Right, fair enough. The chillies, man. Yeah, tune. Up next, fellas, I'm worried about pugs. So we'll get them in here to have a yarn. He's going to love it. The Hauraki Big Show, weekdays from four on Radio Hauraki.

44:27Keyzie:Soundgarden there on the Radio Hauraki Big Show this Friday evening. Now, on the podcast outro today, we were chatting about the idea of old Hoity J purchasing a boat, fellas. Yeah. Because I love my fishing. The only issue that I have with that is that I never catch anything. Yeah. And that's because I'm not fishing in deep water. Where I am out west, all the sort of beaches are very flat, and so it's very hard to cast out into deep water. Yeah. And the fellas suggested that I get a boat. And I tell you what, I've been looking at the boat that we're giving away here at Radio Hauraki. maybe I could, you know, do a bit of a deal there perhaps.

45:03Keyzie:With Hodaki. Yeah, yeah. Because he's an absolute bastard of a boat. It is, in a good way, right?

45:08Mike Minogue:In a really good way. It's a fin chaser 535 center console, Mercury 60 horse four stroke outboard, comes with a Voyager trailer and a whole lot of bells and whistles as well. All the deets up at hodaki.co.nz. All we have to do is name the boat by texting boat to 3483. You're automatically in the draw. It's not done by what name we like the best or anything like that. It is a lucky draw. so whatever you put through as the name of the boat will be written on the side of it when we deliver it to you. That's right. So heaps of names have come through, thousands and thousands of entries, which is great, and I've just been sent a fresh batch of names.

45:41Mike Minogue:Okay, so I'm just going to go through them one at a time. Yeah, man. Okay. Lady Chaser. I don't get it. What? What's that got to do with the boat? I don't know. Or the water. That's not it. Crack and Tinnies. With crack and spelt like release the crack and. No. No. Okay, was this, are you guys just going to? Well, we're going to critique them, but that is a no from me. Even though the Kraken, I believe, lives in the ocean, it does live in the ocean. Yes, it does. And a tinny is another name for a bow. Yeah, it is. I don't mind it. Okay, Fin and Tonic. Yeah, we've had that one. Real Bad Man, R-E-E-L.

46:17Mike Minogue:Real Bad Man. I like that one. You like that one? I don't. Hakuna Mawaka. Hakuna Ma Waka Can you spell that for me? Nah It's actually not hard to spell But it doesn't make sense Panty Dropper Working from home Titan Uranus Chats Is that two names? Two separate names Titan And Uranus Wow Chats CPT C Like the C Small Cock Small Cock She's a Chokawaka What the hell is that? These are just names, man. Big Nips. Munch Munch. This one here all in caps. The Beef. The Beef. These names are terrible. No, they're not.

47:02Keyzie:What is going on? I mean, the standard has just dropped away completely there. I think we can all agree that a boat name is meant to be a double entendre or some kind of play on words. Yes.

47:15Mike Minogue:Yes. Okay, let me just have a look here. Let me find one here for you. Hooky McHooky Face. God, it's just going from bad to worse at the moment. I did note that your old mate there, Alison, who's the billionaire there? Larry Alison. Yes. I was listening to, I don't know if you guys listened to The Breakfast Show, but he's recently had to change the name of his ridiculously massive boat, and he's changed it to Ronin, you know, the Japanese warrior that goes from town to town. Yes. Yeah, it's sort of like a lot of American TV shows from the 1980s. But originally it was named after some kind of a Japanese spirit and the name of it was Izanam.

47:59Izanam. And he'd spoken about it in his book. Izanami? Yeah, Izanami, that's right. He'd spoken about two of these deities that exist in Japanese culture and he'd named it after one of them anyway. Well, recently somebody pointed out to him the fact that it was actually I'm a Nazi backwards.

48:18Mike Minogue:So if you looked in your rear vision mirror and Larry Ellison was behind you in his boat to be like, I'm a Nazi. Oh, cool. Oh, yeah, excellent. Just a coincidence, though, Jason. Yeah, of course. But, yeah, a boat name does have to be cool, so I don't know about Small Cock. I don't know the relevance of that to the Oceum. It's been a very, very poor batch. I've got to be honest with you, Keezy. Guys, we're trying to encourage people to get in the draw. Yeah, exactly. But this is the beauty of it. You can go straight to the top of the list by having a great name. But it's a lucky dip, remember?

48:49Oh, of course it's a lucky dip.

48:50Mike Minogue:Yeah. 3483, text the word BOAT. Make sure it's good, otherwise you'll get dissed on the radio. The Hauraki Big Show, weekdays from four on Radio Hauraki.

49:01Keyzie:Tom Petty there on the radio. Hauraki Big Show this Friday evening. Now, we know a lot of people are struggling out in the world there, and we feel it's incumbent upon us as wise old fellows to give out a bit of advice every now and then. Meet Paddy Nips 69

49:22Mike Minogue:Get in touch with the fellas It is a real email address Meet Paddy Nips 69 at gmail.com Get in touch It's 100 % anonymous And if we read it on the show You get a$50 Reburger voucher This one fellas Comes from anonymous Jaday big show I'm in an ethical pickle And after some professional advice I'm a husband and father of two living in Auckland and have been my whole life you're a husband of two his whole life a husband and father of two a husband and father of two I want to relocate and move to Mount Maunganui slash Tauranga but I can't convince my wife that it's a good idea do you have any suggestions?

50:10Mike Minogue:cheers kind regards anonymous Autonomous.

50:20Suggestions, indeed.

50:22Keyzie:It's interesting, isn't it? Because I always wanted to go kind of Coromandel-ish. Oh, did you? Yeah. I've always been attracted. The Bay of Islands. Or Bay of Islands, yeah. Bay of Islands, Coromandel, it was always my sort of fantasy to do that. My wife was always sort of, yeah, but what are we going to do there? That's so you'll do nothing. Make love. So she's not keen. Fish. I might actually catch some fish in the Coromandel. Definitely in the Bay of Islands I would. Right. But, you know, the thing is, what I've found is over time it changes. And now I'm about to go and live in the CBD of Auckland.

51:04CBD.

51:06Keyzie:You know, so just give it time, I'd say. Yeah, that's going to take too much time if you give it time. Yeah. Yeah, look, it's tricky, isn't it? If I was you, I'd just move there and hope that she sort of follows you later.

51:23Mike Minogue:Right, so you might call her bluff. Yeah, yeah, he wants to move there, and she doesn't, that's fine. So he can just move there, and she can catch up later, or whatever. That's what you'd do. Absolutely. I mean, what he's got to remember is he's only got one life. And he needs to think about himself first and foremost. What about if his dreams die? Yeah, true. You know? I feel like that's the opposite advice you should give to a husband and father of two. You know, I feel like... A lot of most men are very committed to their families. There's no future. Life's full of hard choices, Keezy. Right.

51:59Big calls. Yeah, that's it. I mean, where does he live now? Auckland. Auckland. Wife, two kids. Or... Mount Manganui. the crashing ocean the beautiful scenery you're from down that way Keezy what do you reckon?

52:15Mike Minogue:it's great, I'd love to live there but my wife's not keen ah, well this is a trick you move with old mate and then maybe my wife moves in with his wife and kids I reckon that would work yeah yeah

52:32Keyzie:well you're in a similar situation aren't you Keezy You know, where you have a partner that wants to be somewhere else. I don't mean like with somewhere else, with someone else. I mean in another city perhaps. Or playing squash or into a netball. Or netball or touch or working late. After work drinks.

52:50Mike Minogue:So I hope that helps. Thanks for reaching out. To be honest, I think you're just going to have to take her down there on holiday and show her around a wee bit and find some houses on Trade Me or something and be like, we could be living here.

53:02Keyzie:Yeah, imagine this, right on the beach there.

53:04Mike Minogue:Yeah, go down there, spend a week down there. Life is short, babe. Let's just go. Let's just go for it, man. Yeah, man. The Hauraki Big Show, weekdays from four on Radio Hauraki.

53:22Keyzie:Well, there you go, you mad bastards. That's the big show done and dusted for your Friday afternoon and indeed for the week. What's the podcast outro clip today, Keezy?

53:32Mike Minogue:Today's clip is, and we expand upon it, in the outro, which comes out at 7.30. Search Hodaki Big Show, wherever you get your podcast from. This is all about a fan being very let down after meeting old Mogey. Oh, yeah. You're painting. You know, you're off your head. You're just noodling away. Just absolutely ruining it. Well, it's the same as, like, working on a car in the back shed or doing any of those things. Oh, I mean, it's a bit more. When have you done that? When have I done that? Yeah. What do you mean, when have I done that? F*** you Jase man

54:06Mike Minogue:First of all I didn't say that I had done it I said it's the same kind of Okay two things Two things I thought we were playing one clip And that wasn't the clip So I apologise And the second thing is I have done that I do that a lot actually

54:24Keyzie:And to be fair Usually those bloody clips Are stitching me up That's true So it was quite nice. Hey, Mogey. Yeah, mate. What are your plans for tonight and the weekend? Look, mate, I had some plans for the weekend, but the rain's ruined it. Is it raining again? Tomorrow it's Sunday. So I had some mates that invited me to go along to the Caracca Millions.

54:48Mike Minogue:Oh, yeah, the race. But it's about 40 of them going. Half a dozen or so of them are good mates from where I grew up. So I said no to that because I'm trying to stay off the booze. Yes. I thought it was a good idea. But they're having a lunch on the... But tomorrow afternoon, sorry, thunderstorms hail apparently in Auckland, so that'll be good. So they're going to have a great time at the races. I'll see them the following day for lunch when they're massively hungover. Yeah, nice. That's the better way for it.

55:12Keyzie:And you can just really rub their noses in it. Now, Keezy, good luck with your romantic dinner tonight, mate.

55:17Mike Minogue:Thank you. Very excited. Looking forward to it.

55:19Keyzie:Yeah, good restaurant, that one.

55:20Mike Minogue:Thank you. Going to get a bottle of wine and see where things go. Ooh la la. And I've got a weekend full of doing nothing, so I'm excited. Good on you, man. You've earned it, man. You really have. You can just go home and your wife is going to be thrilled because it's going to be a night of nights tonight. Ol' Keezy's won the throbber. Ol' Keezy has taken home the trophy. And you remember back in the day, Jase, she used to be terrified. Ol' Keezy coming home and having lost the throbber. Yeah, because I'd be such an arsehole if I lost the throbber. Do you remember that?

55:51Keyzie:I do remember that, yeah. She used to give me an earful.

55:54Mike Minogue:Yeah, what are you doing this weekend, Jase?

55:56Keyzie:Well I'm actually a bit perturbed By Mogi's weather predictions It pisses me off Because I was thinking of getting in the garden And just trying to tidy it up Before we move out