FULL SHOW: The Brekky Prep Special

9:18Keyzie:Oh that is very good Is it new or second hand? No is it yours Or is it your daughter's? Funnily enough I took home two sweatshirts last night From Hauraki Which my daughter stole and then took to the place she's staying Yeah.

9:33Mike Minogue:What about this one from Campbell? You text... Oh, we text it, you read it. Yeah, that's an old school Jerry and Matt one, isn't it? Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. Okay. But that feels like it's long enough ago that we could steal it. Why don't we just start doing that? We'll start doing that. What other good stuff? Blitz versus jizzer. Blitz versus jizzer. Yeah, okay, yeah, nice. G'day, fellas. If you had to be a tradie, what trade would you be? Could be a good discussion in the morning.

10:00Keyzie:Yeah. Well, actually, all the tradies will be out there listening to Radio Hodaki Breakfast. They'll love that sort of chat. Well, we can do that chat. We've done this before, but we can talk about why Keezy doesn't rate, for example, Sparkies or doesn't rate plumbers or teachers. Yeah, yeah. The audience likes that shit. I like that.

10:16Mike Minogue:I love that. Oh, same. I can't wait. What was it? Sparkies. Yeah, yeah, yeah. What about a segment called A Funny Thing Happened to Me at the Supermarket? Well, James could talk for hours about that.

10:30Keyzie:Yeah. I was actually thinking, because there's going to be a hur of a time in the morning tomorrow morning when I walk from my apartment, the Jizz Palace, to work. Yes. There'll be some antics going on there. So maybe there's something in that. Well, we're talking about that off-air, Jase, weren't we? And you thought that there might be some weirdos on the street. But I think probably the biggest weirdo is going to be the guy walking along to the Horeki offices with morning glory. And cream boots. And his daughter's jersey. And a cheese cutter. And a cheese cutter. I've got to find that. I don't know where my cheese cutter is, actually.

11:08Keyzie:I've got to find that in the old wardrobe.

11:10Mike Minogue:What about this one, fellas? This is gold. What about a game where one of you boys drops your guts into the microphone and we have to guess who did it? Is that, you know? Well, that's a mystery sound. Yeah. But we all know what the sound is.

11:21Keyzie:Well, I mentioned earlier too, by the way, fellas, I'm more filthy in the morning. I'm also more windy. Oh, yes. So that could work. And I know that.

11:30Mike Minogue:So wait, so every time it's just Jase.

11:32Keyzie:Well, I know that because last time we did breakfast, remember, Keezy, you were cutting wind quite a lot. Cutting the cheese. Was I? Yeah. Cutting wind?

11:41Mike Minogue:Just such a yard. Remember Keezy was farting lots on breakfast last time, mate? You get rid of that, man? Oh, no, shocking. Oh, God. But the audience absolutely frothed it. Yeah, they did, man. They loved it, fellas. This one's good from Mike. Morning commute. listeners ring in and describe their daily commute to and from details, how long it takes and what they do for a crust, etc.

12:03Keyzie:Yeah, that's nice. And... Well, that'll kill the six o 'clock hour. You know, and give us a traffic report, Kesey.

12:10Mike Minogue:100 % traffic report could be good. Yeah. Do you remember the last time we did breakfast and you, like, pissed your pants? The Hauraki Big Show. Weekdays from four on Radio Hauraki. Spear. It's Therum Pie July on Radio Hovey. Swing it!

12:31Keyzie:Yeah, I might have a pie tomorrow morning when I wake up for breakfast on my way to the show there in the morning. Why don't you get some Reburger, man? Oh, I can't because it won't be open then. Dad's pie's the way to go, man.

12:44Mike Minogue:Is this going to be your thing for tomorrow and onwards? You're just going to lie that you've had a pie on the way in? It's kind of the beauty of what you've got going on, Joe, is how you lie through your teeth. There's a whole audience that doesn't know about this. They're going to believe you. Well, and rightly so. And they're going to be stoked. They're going to be like, wow, this is a crazy thing. This guy sounds amazing. Yeah. Hoyt J's eating a pie right now. That's crazy.

13:01Keyzie:What I'm going to do is I'm going to get up in the morning at like 4.30. No, you won't. I'm going to walk up to my car in the car park, take my car, go to a servo, buy myself a pie, drive back to the apartment, eat my pie, get changed and come up for the show. I barely believe even the part about you coming up for the show.

13:21Mike Minogue:Yeah. We'll see, fellas. We'll see. Oh, you've got to prove us wrong, are you? Can you film your... Okay, this is not the time for an argument about whether or not Jase is going to eat a pie tomorrow. He's not. The pies that pay. If you hear the pirates during your listening here at Hodaki and you call 0800 at Hodaki, boom, 250 bucks could be yours thanks to Dad's pies.

13:39Keyzie:How good, man. Let's go to the phone lines. G'day, Luke, you mad bastard. How's life?

13:45Mike Minogue:Kia ora, fellas.

13:47Keyzie:Kia ora. Tell me, Luke. What do you do for a crust, mate?

13:51Mike Minogue:I'm a school caretaker. Ah, bad boy! You know, is it true about school caretakers? I always wondered this growing up. Our caretaker, Mr Griffin, he was a hell of a caretaker. He had one of those incinerators out the back. Always seemed like he was up to no good. Are caretakers serial killers, mate? No, I definitely don't think so. We're a good bunch. where we sometimes are called the glue that holds the school together.

14:20Keyzie:Oh, you're the backbone of the school. That's what you're saying, Luke. Is that what all the other caretakers say at the caretaker convention?

14:27Mike Minogue:Yeah, basically. Good on you, Luke. If we give you the$250, man, what are you going to use it for? I'd probably like to take my lovely partner out to get a bit of a feed.

14:37Keyzie:Oh, good on you, mate. You romantic bastard. Tell me, Luke, in terms of pies, what kind of pie do you run?

14:46Mike Minogue:Probably just a standard steak and cheese thing that's a go. Oh, yeah, yeah. I hear you, man. Fair play, brother. Yeah, no, that's good. Your steak and cheese and your mints and cheese have been our most popular, I think. Well, we haven't had any other choice so far. Yeah, what's that about? Congrats, Luke, mate. $250 coming your way. Thanks, fellas. Good on you, mate. Good on you, mate, you massive backbone. I sort of feel like there's a movie in that, Jase. The caretaker, the school caretaker. I don't think it's really been done before. I think you'd make a great caretaker. Wait, isn't? Well, as a serial killer.

15:16Well, just sort of an odd man who sort of lurks around, you know what I mean? He was a guidance counselor, of course, in seven periods with Mr Gornsby, weren't you, Jase? But I don't think it's really been done with a caretaker. Could I have, like, a few veggie patches and stuff?

15:31Keyzie:Can I be brewing my own booze and that sort of stuff? That's good. Yeah, yeah, yeah.

15:37Mike Minogue:Now you're talking. Yeah. You're trying to think of a show where it's happened, Tasey? Well, isn't there a show, isn't Jason Statham the caretaker? I'm the caretaker. Oh, no, I mean, you know, like a New Zealand sort of thing. Something set in, you know, reality somewhat. A downgraded version. A sort of a down and out, you know. Right, okay. Oh, yeah, Jase. What about. Sucking on a vape.

15:56Keyzie:If I was, I used to be a top radio DJ. Yes. But then I lost my job and I became a caretaker. And there's no, you know, it's not a step down. It's just a different life. It's a step across. It's a step across. A sideways step. Yeah, yeah, yeah.

16:09Mike Minogue:And then one of your former co-hosts has a child at the school. And you, like, run into each other. and it's really awkward. Yeah, and it looks exactly like Keezy. The kid's got a moustache. Imagine that. You used to freak me out. Mead patty nips. No, it doesn't. No, the kid doesn't have mead patty nips. Yeah, it does. And Jay spots him at the swimming sports. Cool, man. It's tennis into a tennis. And Mr. Mogi is a teacher at the school. Here's Metallica. The Hauraki Big Show. Weekdays from four on Radio Hauraki.

16:41Keyzie:Queens of the Stone Age there on the radio. Hauraki Big Show this Tuesday afternoon. The time is 4.52. Let's talk TV. What's on the telly with Mike Minogue?

16:58Yeah. Hey, fellas, imagine my excitement when I saw that Louis C.K., one of my favourite comedians, had a new special coming out on Netflix called Ridiculous, who particularly his early stuff was really, really good. A groundbreaking comedian. He had one of the greatest deals in television history where he essentially got to do whatever he wanted to do. He was right at the top. Really, the very, very top above Dave Chappelle and Seinfeld and all those guys. Obviously, he had a bit of a shocker a few years ago, which is a mark against his name. But watching this one, just people that bang on about the same things.

17:40Do you know what I mean? So he's done heaps of great, some of the greatest specials ever committed to film. And then, but he's sort of still banging on about the same old things. And I found that Ricky Gervais does the same thing as well. Yes. Ricky Gervais loves banging on about, you know, PC this, fat people that. Religion, I don't mind because he can be quite insightful on that. but yeah just just things that I don't know if they're funny in the first place and do you really need to be talking about it and banging on about it when there's a chance that you're probably going to be making people feel pretty half the audience feeling pretty shit ass yeah and so I turned it off after probably half an hour it goes for about an hour it's on Netflix it's called Ridiculous I don't even think I really laughed maybe Zero Bussies is about wow Wow.

18:29Okay. It's not offensively horrendous, but it was just a – so maybe two buzzies is more like it, but I wouldn't bother finishing it. Right, okay. And I did have another go at it, and it was just like, yeah, it's enough for me. But so it's a shame. So anyway, it's on Netflix. Give it a crack. Let me know what you reckon. Good stuff, Moogie.

18:47Keyzie:I watched Walk the Line. Oh, great movie. Joaquin. Joaquin Phoenix and Reese Witherspoon. Witherspoon, yeah. Of course, the story of the great Johnny Cash. And Joaquin was born to play that part. He looks like Johnny Cash. He's got that same sort of moody sort of Johnny Cash vibe about him. I believe he sung a lot of it too. He did. And very, very well. There was no issue whatsoever believing that he was Johnny Cash. I think he became Johnny Cash fully. He actually was Johnny Cash. Johnny Cash met him and said, is this Johnny Cash? Yeah, Johnny Cash.

19:28Mike Minogue:And then he said, hello, I'm Johnny Cash. He did. I'm solid. That's right.

19:31Keyzie:I walked the line. Look, I want to say. What was that? He said, oh, I'm out. A really good film. Of course, it shows his rise to stardom, his descent into sort of drug-addled madness and all the fraught relationships that come with it. Really good, solid movie. Really good, solid performances. is I'll give it a good solid four buzzies out of five.

19:54Mike Minogue:I really enjoy that film. That and Ray with Jamie Foxx. Really enjoy that too. What's funny is watching Walk the Line and then watching Walk Hard, the Dewey Cox story. Yeah. Have you seen that? No. The John C. Reilly piss take of that movie. Really funny. Yes. Really, really funny.

20:10Keyzie:I'll give that a go. It's actually easy.

20:12Mike Minogue:Will you though? What's it called? Walk Hard, the Dewey Cox story. Don't say it into your phone. Siri.

20:19Keyzie:You don't have an Apple phone. Oh no, that's right. Sorry, Gemini.

20:24Mike Minogue:What's it called? Nah, don't worry about it. Hey, last night my wife and I wanted to switch things up and watch something different. So we watched the UK Grand Designs. In the first episode of the latest season, these guys, they're architects and their dream was to build this house and they wanted to build something really different. And so they bought a plot on a river where a World War II landing boat was. And they were like, we want to have this house ready in 18 months. Six months later, they were still removing the World War II boat because of all the armour plating. It turns out it's really hard to get rid of.

20:53Mike Minogue:You know what I mean? Oh, who doesn't know that? And then three years later, it's always a giveaway because at the start it was like, we want to be in in 18 months, and it's like in 2022. And I'm like, but this is the latest season. So it's about four years away. Wow. Needless to say, lots of drama. Cost way more than they thought it would. Took way longer than they thought it would. And they're in there, but at what cost? At what cost? Well, you tell me. I think it was£120 ,000 over budget. Oh, that's not bad. But the house was so ugly afterwards. God was ugly, yeah. Was your wife upset? She was super upset.

21:24Mike Minogue:She's still upset now, actually. She asked whether you'd be open to a phone call tonight.

21:28Keyzie:Oh, yeah. I suppose. A reminder, I'm doing breakfast in the morning, though, so it can't go to the normal one or two in the morning, all right?

21:34Mike Minogue:Okay, yeah, sweet as.

21:35Keyzie:Yeah, sweet.

21:38Mike Minogue:The Hauraki Beat Show with Jase, Mike and Keezy. Tune in weekdays at 4 on Radio Hauraki.

21:44Keyzie:Welcome back, you massive backbones. Hope you're surviving your Tuesday afternoon. You're listening to The Big Show, incidentally, brought to you by Reburge.

21:53Mike Minogue:Handcrafted burgers, loaded fries and gourmet eats that will change the game.

22:02Mike Minogue:And some big news on the Reburger front, fellas. Key Street Reburger up here in Auckland just opened. Oh, really? Oh, how good. In a couple of weeks, Botany, Junction and Avondale are going to open. And in a week after that, Walkworth, Reeburger's going to open. It's the truth. They're going off. They're going off, man.

22:18Keyzie:Yeah, well, why not? It's bloody good food, isn't it? That is so true, man. If you love a burger, you love your fries, get stuck in to Reeburger. There's something about the way that you say it. What do you mean? You're really selling it. It makes it seem like you've never had it in your life. Now, I've seen you have it. Yes, exactly. And you know I love it, mate. I know you love it. You know I love it. Right there, the way you say it. What, that I love it? It sounds sarcastic, doesn't it?

22:42Mike Minogue:Are you trying to get the sponsorship pulled from the show? What's going on, man? What, by saying I love it? Yeah, but you're clearly taking the piss. Come on, fellas. Fellas, coming up a little later in the show, the best segment that we do, which is What's in the News with me, Keezy. Oh, yes. It's been some rough stuff happening down at Wellington there. Bit of the old rough stuff. Yeah, yeah, yeah. And I'm very much across the rough stuff, as you know.

23:07Keyzie:Yeah, good stuff, Kesey. Looking forward to that. See, it's that sarcasm again. It's my favourite segment. Jase. Hey, here's the black keys.

23:14Mike Minogue:The Hauraki Big Show with Jase, Mike and Kesey. Tune in weekdays at four on Radio Hauraki.

23:21Keyzie:She hard there on the Radio Hauraki Big Show this Tuesday evening. The time, 11 minutes past five o 'clock. Fellas, we just had my daughter's birthday a week or so ago. And one of her relatives, I don't know which one, got her a voucher. You know about vouchers? Yeah, I've heard of them, yeah.

23:40Mike Minogue:Is it like a coupon? It's like a coupon, but it's a voucher. And in place of cash, they sort of spend the cash on your behalf at a place that you may or may not want to go to on goods or services that you may or may not want. Sounds inconvenient. Sounds like a real pain in the arse. And you'd be right, Kesey. And one of the things that my daughter got was a free session going rock climbing, bouldering, as you've started calling.

24:02Keyzie:Yeah, okay. I'd never heard of bouldering.

24:06Mike Minogue:Well, that's what it's called at the Olympics. Do they have it at the Olympics? Bouldering, yeah. It's amazing. They can climb up the wall in less than five seconds. It's amazing. Unbelievable, isn't it?

24:15Keyzie:Come on, you get with the program, man. Even I knew that. It's actually good that you're telling me this because, now what I can understand is they've got like a five-meter wall. Is that what they call them?

24:26Mike Minogue:Probably a bit taller than that, I'd say. It's probably like 20 meters. 20 meters? I'm pretty sure. It's massive. Bloody Nora. And then they have little things that you can hold on to. What are they called? Oh, rocks. Boulders. Yeah, yeah, yeah. And then you go all the way up to the top and then you push the button. Hand holds. Yeah, that's right. That's the one. Yeah, the button. They call that the button. They call that the button. And that's the sound of buzzer. And when you hear the buzzer, the timer starts, Jase. Yeah. And when you get to the top and you hit the button, that's when the timer stops.

24:51Yeah, yeah.

24:52Mike Minogue:And then, Jase, what happens is whatever time is on the timer, that's your time. That's your time. Oh, okay. Now, the less time, the better. Right, so you're trying to be really fast. That's quick as you can. That's the one. So my daughter went and did that yesterday. Well, she's broken the world record. Wow. That's incredible. How old is she? Seven. Seven. So, you know, my wife said that she's, I didn't get to go, unfortunately, but she said she's never seen anything like it. Wow, yeah. My daughter's kind of a natural at a lot of things, which she gets of me, But it turns out that this climbing thing, there's a hell of a future in it.

25:30And that's exactly what you guys say there, that you can go to the Olympics and do it. Well, that's what's going to happen. Really? She's been signed up to the Olympics. That's extraordinary. And she's the youngest ever Olympian. Get this, Kesey. Sorry, man, you're on your phone there. Get this, the youngest ever Olympian. Extraordinary. Isn't that amazing? In general. Yes, that's right. Seven. Seven years old. Well, name me a younger one. No, you got me there, Moggy.

25:56Mike Minogue:I was just on my phone looking up the world record. 5.99 seconds for women. 3.1. Is that what she did it in? Yeah. God. Well, the men's record is 4.5 seconds. Yeah, I don't know why you separated it out into men's and women's there. That felt. Well, I didn't choose to do that.

26:11Keyzie:I think kids are naturally sort of gifted at that sort of stuff, the climbing. Climbing cliffs. Yeah, yeah, and that sort of carry on. Bouldering. I remember when we were at Niagara Falls and we were just, you know, looking out across the extraordinary landscape. We had the little one there. I think she was about, from recollection, about five or something like that. Just a little bit younger than my daughter now. Yeah, she was a couple of years younger, not by much. But anyway, because I've told you this before, she's like animal obsessed and we're standing there at the top of Niagara Falls. You're at the top of the falls because usually you look at it from a boat from the bottom.

26:50Keyzie:Yeah, but where are we going? No, you can go from the top as well. Oh, can you? Yeah. Well, you'd know. And so anyway, we're standing at the top of the Niagara Falls and we hear.

27:03Mike Minogue:And my little one, like a squeaky door, yeah.

27:05Keyzie:No, it's a cat. Oh, it wasn't a cat. Yeah. My daughter goes, is that a kitten? Is that a cat? No. It's like a mouse. And we went, oh, my, oh, God, I think it is, actually. And we sort of looked and just on a ledge right underneath the main ledge where you look out from. Oh, right at the top. Yeah, at the top there. We saw this little kitten. And before I even had time to sort of react, my daughter had swung off the edge there, my little one, and was just holding on to one of the tiniest little boulder. Yeah. And in one movement just swooped down, picked up this kitten and sort of, I don't even know how she did it.

27:49Keyzie:Wow. And just with the momentum of the swing, picked up this kitten and just sort of somersaulted. Somersaulted. Slash flipped back up to the ledge, which was defied gravity because the ledge actually came out. And so she was under the ledge and somehow she managed to pull herself with one hand, the other hand with a kitten and catapult herself. Catapult. Nice. Top of Yeah I'm with you It all makes sense So did she get to go To the Olympics as well Well no But it was funny We were going Don't you ever do that Don't you ever do that again You know Telling her off And the bloody cat Walked her off The bloody ledge again Did it Yeah Hey what state Is the Niagara Falls in Pardon

28:35Mike Minogue:The Niagara Falls Which state

28:37Keyzie:I tell you The state it's in Not good I mean there's been A lot of damage There's cats wandering around All over There's cats walking around All over

28:45Mike Minogue:The Hauraki Big Show. Weekdays from four on Radio Hauraki.

28:49Keyzie:Yes, indeed. Collective soul there on the Radio Hauraki Big Show. This Tuesday evening. The time is 5.39. And, fellas, jeez, I had a hell of a morning this morning. What happened?

29:01Mike Minogue:Hoor of a morning.

29:02Keyzie:It was a hoor of a morning. Parenting, eh, Moggy? Tell me about it. The stresses and strains. Casey's going to find out all about this. He totally is, man. Well, not totally. Very soon. Not very soon. And it begins from the day they're born right through. It doesn't stop, man. As long as you're a parent, Kesey. 24-7, brother. And I'll give you an example of this this morning. My daughters, they love traveling. They travel all over the place, which, you know, a part of me is very proud of them for that. A part of me is terrified of the fact that they travel all around the world, often by themselves, Mogi.

29:35Keyzie:It's not a good time to be traveling. Well, I wouldn't have thought so.

29:38Mike Minogue:No, but, like, there's always bad stuff happening at any time. I know. So just go for it. And you're just welcoming danger. It's a good point, Kesey.

29:44Keyzie:So you can imagine me. That's not my point. I'm lying in bed. It's 1am. Oh, yeah. And one of my daughters at the moment is currently travelling. She's in sort of outer Indonesia.

29:58Mike Minogue:Outer Indonesia.

29:59Keyzie:Yeah, she's in a very sort of remote sort of place. And at 1 o 'clock in the morning, I hear bing on my phone. And I'm like, what was that?

30:09Mike Minogue:Which is in the kitchen, right? Charging.

30:10Keyzie:No, it's by my bedside because, you know, I like to know what's going on in the world in case. You know, just in case, fellas. Okay, I get it, yeah. It's 1am, blurry-eyed hoody Jay turns his phone on, and it's from my daughter who's tripping.

30:27Mike Minogue:Hang on, how did it beep if your phone was not? It was already on.

30:29Keyzie:Well, but it just turned off. Oh, you picked it up. It's not turned off. I picked it up. You picked it up. Yeah. So I go on Messenger there, and I see a message from my daughter, and it's, I'm alive. well, that's good. And I'm like. That's better than the opposite. Yeah, exactly. And I go, good one. I didn't need to know that at, you know, one o 'clock in the morning. Whether she's alive. Well, it's great to know she's alive. But then, ding again. And it's like, this is a very dodgy situation. And I'm like, what? What? What's a dodgy situation? Message I. no reply. Are you all okay? Are you G?

31:17Keyzie:Are you G? Are you all okay? Are you G? No reply. Yeah. She's alive. And I go, okay, so she's alive, but she's in a dodgy situation, and she's not replying to my messages saying, are you okay? Is everything all right? She's obviously probably, you know, probably having another beersy or something.

31:39Mike Minogue:So you've heard from her since then though, right?

31:41Keyzie:Well, but then no reply. And so old hoity J's lying at bed at one quarter past one in the morning going, yeah, fuck.

31:53Keyzie:F*** sake. You know, and imagining as I do, and I'm terrible for this, I don't know how you guys are, every possible worst case scenario that could be occurring.

32:03Mike Minogue:Did you imagine her like falling into the mouth of a volcano?

32:06Keyzie:Well, possibly. You don't know. You know, a volcano erupting and lava's pouring towards her, and she's like, oh, this isn't good.

32:13Mike Minogue:I better text Dad and let him know that I'm alive.

32:15Keyzie:Yeah. And so that was me for eight hours just fretting. Have you heard from her? No reply. Oh, yes, she's fine. Had a lovely holiday. Have you ever asked her to text you just to let you know that she's alive? Yes. We just want you to text us to let us know that you're alive. Yes. And then she does.

32:35Mike Minogue:And you freak out.

32:36Keyzie:But then it was that follow-up. It was, oh, this is dodgy. Right. You know, and it's like, what's dodgy? The problem is she's probably texted the wrong person. Yeah, probably. She was probably texting this is dodgy to her drug dealer. Yeah.

32:55Mike Minogue:Yeah, and I'm alive to her drug dealer after that last batch. Yeah, God, man, I feel so alive. Yeah, because over there's some real dodgy stuff. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Right. So hopefully that helps you rest easier tonight, James.

33:06Keyzie:Yeah, thanks, fellas. That's good.

33:08Mike Minogue:Seriously dodgy stuff over there. Oh, my God. It is? Yeah. I don't want to tell you about it. You'll just worry. Thanks, Keezy. The killers? Yeah, why not? The Hauraki Big Show. Weekdays from four on Radio Hauraki.

33:22Keyzie:Yes, indeed. Pearl Jam there on the Radio Hauraki Big Show this Tuesday evening. I'm getting a bit husky, fellas. Pounding headache. Oh, you're a bit crook. You're not going to make it tomorrow for a big show does breakfast. Mate, I'm a backbone. I'll make it, alright. Don't you worry about it, Moogie. Well, that's interesting, actually, Jase, because this sort of plays into this latest idea that we've all had. And that is the lookalike competition. We're going to get some stand-ins. Are we? Yeah. We're going to get some stand-ins. And that is we're going to get lookalike. So if you're out there and you think you've got a mate that somehow looks like Horty Jizz, or like myself or Keezy, we want you to send in a photo to Pugsun on the Hauraki Big Show Instagram or even on the Facebook page over there.

34:06and we're going to put together a final team of Big Show's stand-ins to get them to do things for us, the things that we don't want to do. Yeah. For example, today we had a meeting with our boss, and we don't like having meetings with our boss. And not just him. I don't want him to take this personally. When he inevitably listens to it and then feels bad, we don't like doing any meetings. Correct. At all. Sometimes we have to talk to our sponsors, who we love.

34:33Mike Minogue:Who, Reburger. But we'd rather not. I know, I like Reburger. I like Rory. It's great.

34:37Keyzie:I'll tell you what, and when you brought this idea to the table, I went, geez, that's a good idea because you know one of my pet hates, and I wish I had a stand-in for, when I hear the term brainstorm. Hey, team, just a quick brainstorm when you get in today, re blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, whatever it may be. I immediately send pugs a very rude, expletive-laden reply about brainstorming. And also after we do our live shows, generally by the time we get to the end of the live show, all of the audience is hammered, pissed, and then you've got to stand there and act like you're interested in what they're saying.

35:21Now, we don't need people that look exactly like us, just vaguely similar to the point where people are like, oh, you look shorter, taller, slightly different than I thought you would in person. Just close enough is good enough. Yeah. So just send them through. We've already had 800 ideas come through, 800 photos. Give or take.

35:37Mike Minogue:Is that about right? And there's a text here on 3483. You get Parker from Thunderbirds to stand up for Hoagie J. Now, that's not what Mogi's after. No, celebrities won't do. No. And here's the thing. Sorry, the other thing is Jase is Parker from Thunderbirds. That'd just be him filling in for himself.

35:53Keyzie:And how hard can it be is my question because I've been told many times through my career, I have an everyman face. That's right. So, I mean, you know what I mean? For example, if you're doing a Keezy, you just need a sort of motley sort of moustache sort of going on there. Literally just a guy with a moustache. That would do. A guy with a moustache. And for Mogi, just, you know, obviously a massive schnoz. Like a butthead-looking dude. And a butthead kind of looking fella. Exactly. So just some kind of three dudes that are threes out of ten. Yes. You know, in varying sort of heights, one with a moustache.

36:30It's pretty easy. Everyone's got a big honker. You know, if you're out there listening to this, you know 50 guys that look like us. Absolutely. Just send in the goddamn photos, and we're going to start pumping them out on Instagram. We'll get some voting going on. Now, I know, Keezy, you've been a little bit reluctant around this, man. You think people aren't keen. What? What are you talking about? I think that's probably just based on the evidence. You know, we haven't had an absolute deluge of photos be sent through, But I sort of feel like if we just continue to campaign on this really, really hard for the rest of the year, we could get up to eight, nine entries.

37:04Mike Minogue:Yeah, right. It's just, yeah, I guess it's the lack of interest that for me has just been a bit of a tough one. But I know that Rome wasn't built in a day. Thank you. And Jase, you won't understand that because you've not been to Europe. But you simply must go.

37:20Keyzie:Absolutely. I want to tell you what, my stand-in could be here while I go to Europe.

37:27Mike Minogue:Thank you. Yeah, right.

37:28Keyzie:Now you're talking, Kesey, because I simply must.

37:32Mike Minogue:By the way, coming up after six, speaking of Europe, but not really, what are you having for dinner? Give us a text on 3483. Let us know. Include your name and where you're texting from, and you can win$50 worth of Reburger. What's for tea on 3483. The Hauraki Big Show with Jase, Mike and Keezy. Tune in weekdays at four on Radio Hauraki.

37:53Keyzie:Welcome back, you massive backbones. Hope your Tuesday evening's absolutely going off. You're listening to The Big Show, incidentally, brought to you by Reburgu.

38:01Mike Minogue:And Reburgu are serving good times and good food, and they're dining in or taking away Reburgu today. Reburgu.

38:12Keyzie:What's on the plate tonight, Keezy, for you? which has been massively disappointing.

38:17Mike Minogue:My wife is making a chicken pot pie. Oh, yeah, a little chicken and leek. Maybe a mushroom? Creamy chicken and leek. Oh, chicken and mushroom, yeah. Potentially, I'm not sure. Yeah, I can do that. She'll just know it's creamy chicken, a veggie pot pie. Nice. Yeah, a bit of mash. No. Why not? Because, I don't know. Any peas on there? No. Do you want peas on your chicken pie? No, I don't like peas. So you'll be stoked then? No, I'm not having any. It doesn't make any difference to me, one way or the other. Okay. Broccolini. What? Broccolini. Yeah. What are you having, Jase? Hot pot. Really? Yes.

38:52Mike Minogue:Hot pot Wednesday. Well, it's Tuesday. Tuesday that I do. Yeah, yeah, yeah.

38:56Keyzie:But I didn't, because my wife was working today, I didn't really sort out dinner.

39:01Mike Minogue:Yeah, intentionally. So your wife was working, so there's no dinner. Is that what you're saying? Yes.

39:06Keyzie:And I've got a pounding headache, and I have a theory that chili will cure it.

39:12Mike Minogue:Yeah, right. I love how you've invented these things that all point towards hot pot, but not really. Yeah.

39:18Keyzie:So I'll just do that. And Mogi, you said you've eaten like an absolute animal all day.

39:24Mike Minogue:Well, he came in today and rested his puku on my arm. I did. And then said, Keezy, you like that? I did. It was disgraceful. Massive. Yeah, I have been eating a lot. Doesn't mean I can't eat more. Yeah, that's true.

39:35Keyzie:I mean, it's winter. You've got to keep your food intake up, Mogi, to keep that energy going. You'll see what's on the table when I get home, eh, feels. Speaking of which, text 3483, what's for dinner for you? Tell us your name, where are you texting from?

39:48Mike Minogue:And you can win 50 bucks with the Reburger. Reburger! The Hauraki Big Show with Jace, Mike and Keezy. Tune in weekdays at four on Radio Hauraki.

39:58Keyzie:News there on the Radio Hauraki Big Show this Tuesday evening, but right now it's time for...

40:05Mike Minogue:Oh yeah, hey guys, text here from Steve. What's for D?

40:10Keyzie:T. Yeah, what's for D?

40:11Mike Minogue:Yeah, yeah, What's for D. I keep on forgetting that that's what it's called. No, it's called What's for T, New Zealand, with me, Keezy. No, it's definitely not called that. It's never been called that. It's called What's for D with me, Keezy. What do you mean it's never been called? It literally has, was, okay. G'day, guys. Robbie here. Coltrane. Robbie Coltrane. Oh. Robbie Burns.

40:36Keyzie:We the Robbie Burns. Remember that one? To be sure, to be sure.

40:40Mike Minogue:Poet, right? Scottish, yeah. Famous part, Burns Night. G'day, guys. Robbie Coltrane here from Auckland. That is a backbone.

40:49Keyzie:He has a massive backbone. I saw a movie the other night with Robbie Coltrane. Stuffed with cheese and jalapeno. Pardon? Oh, Krull. Krull, yes.

41:02Mike Minogue:Oh, did you not catch me reading out? No. It's just that it's my dinner segment. What's on the D with me TV? Yeah, it's not What's on the D with me TV with me pug son. Jase. Get on with it, please. Okay, I'll try it. G'day, guys. Robbie Coltrane here from Auckland. Have you seen me in that movie Krull? Nah, it's just a joke. He didn't say that. Having chicken thighs stuffed with cheese and jalapeno wrapped in bacon. I like the sound of that. Depends what else is on the plate, but I like the sound of that.

41:30Keyzie:I like a jalapeno. I'm confused as to how you stuff a chicken thigh.

41:36Mike Minogue:Well, you just, a boneless one, and you put stuff in it, and you roll it up. Oh, yeah, yeah, I see.

41:40Keyzie:Another boneless bastard. Yes, yes, yes. Yes, I've got you.

41:44Mike Minogue:G'day, guys. Billy here. Billy the Kid. Billy the Kid. Billy the Kid here from Auckland. Sirloin steak, mashed potato, and baked beans. Baked beans? I'm furious about that. That's one of the most backbone meals I've ever heard in my life. Give it to me again, Kuzi. Sirloin steak, mashed taties, baked beans. Nah. That sounds great. I wouldn't need any of that. It's the baked beans which are off.

42:11Keyzie:Yeah, I have trouble masticating steak. Oh, it's a steak you don't like? Yes. Would you combine a baked bean with a mashed potato? Not generally, Moggy, no. No, not ever.

42:23Mike Minogue:But it's funny, though, because if you had roast taties in the morning with a big breakfast or hash browns, that's okay. But mashed potato, which is just potato again with beans, doesn't work. It doesn't. No. No, you're right. It's interesting. It's really interesting.

42:36Keyzie:Really interesting there, Keezy. G'day, guys. It actually is quite interesting when you think of it like that. God, that's interesting. What if you think of it like that? Yeah. With your head to the side, like, oh. You know when a dog looks at you and sometimes it goes, oh? Yeah, oh? What if you think of it like that? Oh? Or the air drops down, you know?

42:58Mike Minogue:Are you sure we shouldn't get rid of this segment? What do you mean, man? It's going off. Is it? G'day, fellas. Who's Josh here? Oh. Kronfeld. No. Joshua Jackson. No, it's Josh Homer. No, it's not. From Quentin. No, it's not. We interviewed him. Oh, I know who it is. Rogan. Josh Rogan. No, Rogan Josh. Ah, well done. Well done. Actually, funny you say that. G'day, guys. Rogan Josh here from Wellington. Leftover butter chicken. Oh, that's not right. On a filthy Indo-Italian fusion pizza. So leftover butter chicken, put it onto a pizza. I guess we'll be hungover or whatever. Because you can make tandoori chicken pizza.

43:45Mike Minogue:I've had that before. Oh, have you? Yeah. I didn't like it. Yeah. I didn't like it. I'd make it. No, no. But did you like it? It was okay. Yeah. It was no ham and pineapple, was it? No, it was no Hawaiian. But I'm down with that. Leftover butter chicken on a pizza. What do you reckon, Jase? The Hauraki Big Show with Jase, Mike, and Keezy. Tune in weekdays at four on Radio Hauraki.

44:07Keyzie:Friends Ferdinand there on the Radio Hauraki. Big show this Tuesday evening.

44:12Mike Minogue:Hey, fellas, I'm running another Betcher pot, which is where the listeners all jump in my pot. They give me money, and then I put that massive amount on something, and then we all... On fire. Yeah, and then traditionally we lose money, but it's fun. If you're keen, the next one is for UFC 329, headlined by Conor McGregor versus Max Holloway. If you are interested, download the Betcher app, jump into BetSocial, use the code backbone, join the pot, interact with me and everyone else in there on our road to glory. R18, bet responsibly. I'll see you there when we're rich. Yeah, man. Do you want to chat with us, Mogi?

44:46Mike Minogue:Let's do it, brother. Time to chat footy with me, Keezy. What are the Warriors up to?

44:58Mike Minogue:I don't know who we're playing with this weekend. I haven't looked. Tigers. We are playing the West Tigers, brother. revenge for earlier in the season of course we've got the third state of origin the decider tomorrow night which means we lose Capewell we lose Mitch Barnett gone gone gone but who have we got back well let me tell you from the backs we've got Toa Piki Charles Noggle-Clockstar is playing on the wing alongside Khan Pereira Khan Pereira's back baby because Dallon Martinez-Lizniak's injured isn't he temporarily he is injured he is that's right although he extended for another two years which is news good news after last week's by the prior match we had a bit of a mozza in the centres and our captain our captain's our coach has responded by putting Leotawa in at number 3 and Pompey in at number 4 so sticking with the same centres yep same centres Pompey I'm fine with yep because that was a bad game from him Leotawa has consistently been the weak point of our defence absolutely so I'm hoping our defence because you know it's funny we never hear about a defensive coach.

46:02Who's our defensive coach? Stacey, isn't it? Actually, I don't know. He's attack because he's a former halfback. So he's on attack. I'm not sure who teaches D or coaches D. Jase, you could coach D. Yeah, man. Totally. The players would really get it then. Yeah, they'd be getting D, all right. CHT and Tamari Martin are your halves pairing. We've got James Fisher-Harris is back, baby. Wade Egan, Stowers-Smith, Lekka Halasima is back. Oh, we needed him as well. And he is partnering Jacob Laban in the back row.

46:36Mike Minogue:Isn't that still very, like, Lekka's the man, but he's still super young. Jacob is too. Jacob's been playing out of his skin, though. They're both, both are excellent. Yeah, and we just need them in there. I don't know who else. Well, the point, I guess, is you've got Capewell to come back. Yeah, Barney. And that sorts that out. You've got Neekore on the bench. We've got Aaron Clark, of course, there as well. Then looking at the bench, we've got, weirdly, we've got Healy and Tafua. Sam Healy and Tafua are both on the bench, who are both hookers. It's that six-man bench, eh? They're just playing silly buggers with it.

47:06Luke Metcalf, Neakore, Valmonga, and Iremia Tuiava round it out. So it's on Friday, but it's on Friday at 10 o 'clock. I'm not thrilled about that. I've got to be honest. I'll be up for it.

47:21Mike Minogue:Are you going to watch it? Yes. Good stuff. 10 o 'clock Friday. The Waz taking on the West Tigers. It is Matariki as well. It is. And it's Saturday the next day. It is.

47:32Keyzie:Oh, man, I cannot wait. Who are we playing?

47:35Mike Minogue:Afterwards. The Hauraki Big Show, weekdays from four on Radio Hauraki.

47:42Keyzie:Yes, indeed. Radio head there on the Radio Hauraki Big Show this Tuesday evening. Now, fellas, we're coming very close to the end of the show. We're going to be doing breakfast tomorrow as we've spoken about.

47:55Mike Minogue:In 11 hours' time, we'll be doing breakfast.

47:56Keyzie:In 11 hours' time. And I just want to give us a bit of a pep talk because this is a massive opportunity for us. Is it? Okay. I mean, breakfast radio is the pinnacle. And as, you know, Mogi said earlier in the show, you know, it's weird that it's a pinnacle, but it is the pinnacle. If you want to do radio, breakfast is where you want it to end up.

48:16Mike Minogue:It just seems like if it was the pinnacle, why would Jerry and I be there? You know, that's where I'm sort of. That's part of it. Yeah. That's part of it.

48:22Keyzie:Yeah, I guess so. But listen, it's a huge opportunity for us nonetheless. the less. So I just want to put it out there. Maybe early bed tonight. I know that's not a problem for you, Mogi. You'll be doing that anyway. No sex tonight. Okay, no sex.

48:37Mike Minogue:All right, Keezy. What has that got to do with anything?

48:39Keyzie:Well, because we need you to have everything tickety-boo and ready to go. It means your chi, Keezy. Your chi, your spirit. Can't be getting interrupted by any filth. You can't be making Can't be corrupted Passionate love All night Or garbage Or just terrible love And then we'll come in tomorrow Looking dishevelled and hoodie eyed

49:04Mike Minogue:That's not what happens after I make love I'll come in with a glow on I'll be glowing And you guys be like ooh Old Keezy So obviously no beersies No winesies Oh cool So I'll just Why don't I just not even go home then

49:18Keyzie:Because all I do at my house

49:19Mike Minogue:is shag and drink wine.

49:22Keyzie:And port.

49:23Mike Minogue:And port. Yeah, haven't had that for a while. Yeah, I was going to say,

49:25Keyzie:have you even done that for a while? So a nice, good, healthy meal, early to bed, so that we're up, ready to go and rearing to go tomorrow morning at six o 'clock, all right? Okay. What time are we coming in? I'll be in here probably 4.30, just prepping the show. I thought you'd get up at 4.30 and you're going to go and get a pie and then you're going to eat it and then you're going to go back home and then you're going to walk down here. Well, what I've decided is I'll be up at 4.30. I'll go and buy the pie and come straight to studio.

49:53Mike Minogue:Right, so you'll be here at about 5. Oh, well, probably caught to 5. Right. I'll be here at about 5 to 6. Okay, Mo, what time are you planning to turn up? Yeah, I was thinking about 1 to 6, something like that. 1 to 6, to be fair, when the news is planned. On the dot. Yeah, yeah, yeah.

50:06Keyzie:Why don't you just come in whenever you wake up? Oh, thanks, mate. Yeah, so, I mean, if it's 2. So, about 3. 3? Yeah.

50:13Mike Minogue:Perfect. All right, so tomorrow morning, 6 a.m. till 10, the Hodaki Big Show is covering Brekkie. How good. The Hauraki Big Show with Jase, Mike and Keezy. Tune in weekdays at four on Radio Hauraki.

50:31Keyzie:Well, there you go, you mad bastards. That's the Big Show done and dusted this Tuesday night. Now, we do the podcast outro, bit of a warm-up to the radio show. What's the clip today, Keezy?

50:43Mike Minogue:Today's clip is all about the tip and how we hate them.

50:49Keyzie:I 95 % of the time give a tap. Not always happily. Sounds like a yarn. No, that's true. I've been with you many a time. That's true. I give tips. So we just lie. Especially. I don't know what it is with you fellas why you don't believe me when I say stuff.

51:09Mike Minogue:Because you're just saying stuff, man. Well, because. It's because you're saying stuff that we don't believe. Right, is that it? Mogi. Hang on, for example. You said earlier in the show that you went out for a vape and a guy said, nice boots, Coity J. Did that actually happen? Yes, it did. I believe that that happened. Yes. But the key to what he said was the tone in which he said it in, which is the same tone in which Coity J says about Reburger, which makes you think that he's being sarcastic. So they could have a guy outside that's walked past Coity J and gone, nice boots, Coity J. Yes. Or what actually happened was, nice boots, Coity J.

51:42Yeah, it's more like that, to be honest.

51:43Keyzie:Yeah, right, okay. Doesn't it feel good, to be honest? Well, I was not being dishonest. That's what he said. All right. You know what I'm saying, fellas? Okay. Now, Moggy. Straight home, straight to bed. Oh, okay. No dinner? No dinner. I ate enough today for this evening as well. I ate a lot. Right, okay. So, no, straight home, straight to bed, man. I don't know if I'm going to be able to sleep, fellas. That's the only concern I've got. Am I going to be able? Because you're scared that the alarm's not going to go off, any number of things. Yeah. And then I'll miss out on some top breakfast radio with the fields.

52:17Mike Minogue:Yeah, just if you're just joining us, the big show covering Brekkie tomorrow, Thursday, and then next week as well. Yeah, man. Yeah.

52:23Keyzie:How about you, Keezy? What are you up to?

52:25Mike Minogue:I'll try and have an early night, but I'll probably end up going to sleep at about 10. Otherwise, I'll just go to bed at like 8.30 and just lie there. Yeah. So that first night, I always just have a slightly later one. What about you, Jase?

52:35Keyzie:Oh, look, I'm going to go home and prep for the big show tomorrow. I'll probably be, I probably won't even go to bed, to be honest. they'll just prep to be honest see it's just yeah and I'll put that in the chat for you though so you know what I'm thinking read breakfast and I'll see you bright and early tomorrow morning I guess 6am

52:57Mike Minogue:see you there

52:57Keyzie:hey by the way check out our Instagram check out our podcast there's lots going on there till tomorrow morning see you later

53:04Mike Minogue:bye