FULL SHOW: The Cat Counsellor

15:02Jase:Oh that's a good question I was going to do that on Sunday Yeah I don't know I think I'm having chicken tenders in a salad Boring.

15:09Keyzie:Yeah, I don't know what I'm having for dinner, actually. I haven't organised it yet. What's your fish and chip order, Charlie? Pretty much just fish and chips. Maybe onion rings if they got it. Maybe wontons if they're decent.

15:25Jase:Hot dog? Yeah, get hot dog for the kids. Bit of roofing, bit of tartare, bit of tomato sauce. Just got to support local. Pineapple ring, man? Nah, definitely not a pineapple ring, man. Sweet, Charlie Willow. chip packet anyway. Enjoy your fish and chips brother and we'll catch up with you on Monday. Yeah, see you fella.

15:43Keyzie:Good on you mate, he's Kings of Leon. Don't forget by the way, if you're in Wellington you need a Port-a-loo, hit up Port-a-King, Charlie's business. The Hauraki Big Show, weekdays from four on Radio Hauraki. Red Hot! Chilli Peppers there on the Radio Hauraki Big Show this Monday afternoon the time is 4.47 Let's talk TV. What's on the telly with Mike Minogue

16:13Yeah!

16:15Jase:Yes! Hey fellas, over the weekend I watched a classic movie that for some reason I've never watched and it was John Carpenter's The Thing Oh! Kurt Russell from 1982 and it's a horror Is that the famous one where the hand comes out of the chest? No! Or is that Alien? No, that's, well, an alien comes out of the chest. An alien comes out of the chest, not a hand. But this one, an alien lands on planet Earth. And at some point in Antarctica, it's based in Antarctica, they dig up the spaceship and it comes back. And it's not happy, Casey. I'll put it to you that way. So has it been frozen? It's been frozen and then they get it out.

16:55Jase:Once it's thawed, mate, she's all on. She's all on for young. I know. Kurt Russell is very great. Yeah, he's Kurt Russell back in the day. Heaps of practical effects, monster effects and stuff. Yes. Back in the day, you could really see people leaving the cinema going, oh, my God, man, that was amazing. But it is almost 45 years ago. Yeah. So I had a fair amount of laughter in it, but also very, very good. And my wife was grossed out by it. I give it three and a half buzzies. Pugs, I think you'd like it. I think it's worth a watch. Definitely, I paid for it. it was three bucks to rent it or something on Apple TV there.

17:35Jase:And I reckon you should go ahead and do it. Very funny, there was a guy in it called Brimley, Wilford Brimley. He's an old school actor. He was in Cocoon and a bunch of other things. I was looking at this dude, I was like, I asked my wife, how old do you reckon this guy is? She said 62. He was 48. Wow. Back in the day, man. People looked older. Old was old as hell. Like this guy, if he dropped a dead of a heart attack on screen, you'd be like, yeah, he lived a good life. A few years time would come. Unreal. I'll show you a photo. There's always these memes online of Timothee Chalamet at 30, and then other actors at 30.

18:09Jase:You're like Gene Hackman at 30. He looks 60. Yeah, exactly.

18:13Keyzie:I was actually asked the other day by someone what my age was, and I said, what do you reckon? They said, oh, no mid-50s. I was like, excuse me? 39, eh? Excuse me? 39, right? Fellas, I didn't watch a lot of television over the weekend. and I'm exploring all over the city at the moment, and I'm just loving it. I went to the Pride Parade in Myers Park on Saturday night, which was great. Sorry, well, maybe I should talk then because I did watch something. This isn't what did Hoity J get up to. Well, this is the thing as well, though. I've got a bit of a bugbear-y TV, which I mentioned to you guys before the show.

18:49Keyzie:Samsung TV, you're watching a show, right? In my case, it's the Crime Channel. You invest it in the show, and then they stop the show and do a two-minute countdown with nothing in it, no advertising, nothing. It's literally a two-minute countdown. It's like, what is the point of this?

19:07Jase:I've already told you.

19:08Keyzie:I know, but it enrages me. It's a waste of my time. It's a waste of my family's time. It's a disgrace. What'd you ask, Kesey? How many buzzies out of five do you give the Samsung TV countdown? Well, they've got a free movie channel, so I'll give it 3.3 buzzies. Right, okay. I was doing a jigsaw puzzle while my wife was watching the what's the fashion show from back in the day hosted by Tara Beck America's Next Top Model the documentary on that because she was just watching it and I was just chilling and I was just like listening to it and then started watching I can't believe kids used to watch that it is so bad that was so nasty all these girls that were on it and saying that you're too chunky and stuff and they're literally the thinnest people you've ever seen.

19:57And then they'll intentionally dress them up.

19:59Jase:Just to look terrible. It was so bad. Entertaining though? Yeah. I mean, my wife was like, yeah, I remember watching all this growing up when she was like a teenager or something. Such a bad show. Holy cow. And then Tyra's on there trying to justify what they do. How many buzzies, Keezy? Yeah, I'd give it 3.9. No. I didn't watch the show growing up, but I found it very interesting.

20:23Keyzie:Excellent. What's that on? Netflix. Oh, Netflix. Okay, I might have a little tutu at that tonight. Does that mean watch? Yes. Okay, cool. Do you like snow patrol? I used to back in the day. I used to love snow patrol. I haven't heard them for years. Here you go. The Hauraki Big Show with Jace, Mike and Kesey. Tune in weekdays at four on Radio Hauraki. Yes, indeed. Snow Patrol there on the Radio Hauraki Big Show this Monday afternoon. The time is exactly five minutes to five. Hey, fellas, do you like having a laugh? Sure, man. Well, good news. Listeners can win flights in a night at the Sky City Hotel Plus tickets to go and see the Best Foods Comedy Gala, which is happening Friday the 1st of May.

21:07Some of the biggest names in New Zealand comedy. All together, one massive night at Sky City Theatre. If you are keen for that, head to hodaki.co.nz. All the Comedy Fest details are there.

21:18Keyzie:I tell you what, plenty coming up after 5 o 'clock, by the way. We've got a cat expert coming on. We do. Because of Birdshit Chris. Mogi's cat just keeps defecating and urinating all over their bed. Can we rename it to Birdshit Chris? It sort of feels right. Yeah. And also, I believe, Keezy, you've got a bit of an announcement to make after 5. Yeah, it's been a long time coming, but I've thought about things, and I do have an announcement after 5. Yeah, great stuff. Look forward to it, man. The Hauraki Big Show with Jase, Mike and Keezy. Tune in weekdays at four on Radio Hauraki. You're welcome back, you massive backbones.

21:58Keyzie:Hope you're surviving your Monday afternoon. You are listening to The Big Show, brought to you by Toledo's. From workdays to workouts, Toledo's keeps you balanced, refreshed and ready to go.

22:14Keyzie:Well, like I said, fellas, I had one at the start of the show. feel fantastic. I feel 10 years younger. I'm full of energy. I'm hydrated. I just feel great. So do we have to start saying you're 29 now? No, no. I just feel 29.

22:29Jase:Feels younger. He doesn't

22:31Keyzie:necessarily look any younger. Yeah, right, okay. Have another one tomorrow and see how you go, man. Yeah, okay. Have you guys tried it yet? I mean, what's your favourite? I haven't actually tried one yet.

22:41Jase:Right, okay. We should do a live tasting, Keezy. Sure, man. Okay. On the radio? On the radio, yeah. Would people listen to that? Oh, they'd love it. It'll be me going, Ah, that's good eating.

22:53Keyzie:Delish. Hey, now coming up next, by the way, old Keezy's got a big announcement. Very interested to know what that is, actually. Look, it's not massive for the audience. It's more big for me, personally. Right. You know what I mean? It won't affect the audience too much, but I've just come to terms with something. Well, that's good, Ben. All right. In the meantime, here's Pearl Jam. The Hauraki Big Show with Jase, Mike and Kesey. Tune in weekdays at four on Radio Hauraki. The Black Keys there on the Radio Hauraki Big Show this Monday afternoon. The time is 11 minutes past five o 'clock.

23:31Fellas, I've been doing some soul searching of late. Just sort of, you know, analysing my life, where I'm at now and where I wanted to be and where I want to go in the future.

23:41Keyzie:Well, you have been quite moody. Well, I don't think I've been that moody. Sorry, just wait till I'm finished, Jase. I've decided to, after a couple of years now, Jase, of you being my agent, I've decided to pull pin on the whole wanting to become an actor thing. You know, I remember you signed me a couple of years ago because you said you saw talent in there. Yeah. You did say that, didn't you? I'm pretty sure you said that. Did I? It was more a case of you badgering me continuously to put you on my books and to see if I could make an actor out of you. Yeah, I mean, we all remember things differently, Jase.

24:23That's okay. But I've decided, you know what? No roles have been coming through, and the ones that do I can't seem to get. So maybe it's time to just, you know... Quit. Quit. Yes. Quit acting, yeah. Good idea. So I'm hanging up the old acting boots. Oh, yeah. That's, yeah. And I'm just going to stick to doing top quality radio, fellas. But, Jace, I'd like to thank you for everything you've done over the last couple of years in terms of hustling to get me roles and stuff, mate. I do appreciate it.

24:50Keyzie:You're welcome, man. Yeah, yeah. I'll be honest. There's a touch of relief there. Oh, okay. No, that wasn't what I was expecting. No, I mean, no, because, you know, I really want your acting career to really take off. and this is actually quite unbelievable because I've had a couple of roles come through in the last today, actually. Oh, really? One that I thought would be absolutely perfect for you called the big league. Well, maybe we should, maybe we see how this goes. Well, no, I mean, if you're going to make a decision like that, if your heart's not there, Kesey. No, well, my heart can't be there.

25:28Keyzie:I mean, this was perfect for you because there's a rugby league player who gets injured when he's young and then in his mid-30s, he's really struggling to raise his family, and he decides to have one last shot at the big league. Right. The NRL. And I sent them through your pick, said you're an absolute league nutter. And they're like, yeah, very keen, very keen. Well, I mean, it seems like a waste.

25:51Jase:Was it set in the, like, the 30s or something around? Yeah. The depression.

25:56Keyzie:Yeah, the depression, you know, the leather helmet, leather sort of, what do you call them, skull caps, headgear. Yeah, skull cap, yeah. There's another one came through too, which we were perfect for, called Game Boy. Wait, now hang on. So when did these come through? Today, weirdly enough. Why have you not told me about them? Oh, well, because I was going to tell you about them later on in the show, but there's no point now. Or you could just email me straight away or call me. Well, I have to get you bloody audition first, Kesey, but they were keen for you on Game Boy too. What's Game Boy about?

26:25Keyzie:It's just a guy who lives with his mum in Huntley and just plays games on his computer. but then sort of becomes absorbed in one of the games, one of the doosh, doosh, doosh, doosh. Yeah, yeah, yeah. He gets sucked into the game. He gets sucked into the game and becomes part of the game's landscape. Right. Just part of the landscape? Kind of goofy sort of, you know, kind of character. Man child. Man child. Thank you, Mogi. Thank you. He's really, you know, a mummy's boy. A mummy's boy. Yeah, well, I can play that. I know you can. I was very excited about it. Okay, so I didn't realise this was the case.

27:03Keyzie:Both feature films, by the way. Okay. And the main, yeah, very well paid. Well, should we use? Heart's not in it. No, it is. Oh, well, you just told me that you're going to call it. Also had another, some voiceover work coming up for you too, Keezy. But that's all right. Yeah. It's all good. Actually, Pugs, I might actually say if Pugs is, because he'd be bloody, he's got a beautiful voice on Pugs. It does. You know, very, very beautiful voice. Right, okay. But good on you, Keezy. You gave it a crack, mate. Didn't work out. Chalk it up to experience. Experience, yes. Yes. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Actually, Pugs, you'd be pretty good for that Game Boy one as well, actually.

27:47Keyzie:The goofy moustache and stuff. Yeah, well, yeah. But, you know. Yeah, yeah, no. All right. Yeah. I'm going to miss you coming into the office every day and having a chit-chat. calling me up, seeing what's going on. Yeah, are you sure it's not? Yeah, look, as Mogi said, if your heart's not in it... What are you doing? We're already struggling, and that was with your heart fully in it, you know? Yeah, okay, good, okay, cool. Here's Queen to the Stone Age. The Hauraki Big Show, weekdays from four on Radio Hauraki. Yes, indeed, Nirvana there on the Radio Hauraki Big Show this Monday afternoon. The time is 5.24, fellas, and I don't know if you've noticed there's been a bit of a change in temperature the last day or two.

28:34Jase:Yeah, well, of course, autumn rolled around yesterday. Yes. First of March, technically, according to the calendar, is when the seasons change and right on time. Yes.

28:42Keyzie:Well, you made a really good point in the chat today, Moggy. Why is it that summer's always late arriving, but autumn and winter are bang on time? Always bang on time, exactly right. I went for a walk this morning in the CBD. My eyes were streaming. My nipples were chafing. And I was like, my God, it really has changed just like that bang in a day. So sad news, no more cool sort of short-sleeved hoity-jay shirts. I'm having to go to the more heavy sort of denims, the kind of cool long-sleeved shirts.

29:14Jase:It's good, though, because it sort of gives us a break from the pure sexuality you've been exerting over these recent months. Exactly. No more sort of bulging biceps pushing out the bottom of your shirts. No more ruddy, reddened chest flesh poking out the top of your shirts. No more skin tags poking out in between the buttons. Yeah, I'm going to miss it. It's my favourite time of year. When was the last time you wore that shirt, by the way?

29:44Keyzie:Oh, last winter, Keezy. Yeah, I think it needs a wash. It's pretty cool, eh? What do you mean it needs a wash? Just on your shoulder, you've got some dust and all sorts of weird stuff in there. No, that's not dust.

29:53Jase:That's dandruff. Yeah, that's just from my head. Yeah, okay. Yeah, yeah. That's all good.

29:57Keyzie:But I'm really excited, Moge, because you've had a bit of a transformation over the last month or so. I'm really looking forward to the new Mogey sort of autumn wear.

30:07Jase:Well, this is the thing, man. I've only just bought my summer gears, and now here I am. I've got to buy my winter's gears. I wonder why I bother. Do you think you'll get autumn sandals? It's a big decision. I'll be honest with you. I haven't had a lot of call for the sandals of late. It's cooled off. It has. It's cooled off. I'm probably going to have to get some more shoes, Keezy. Maybe some more boots. Yeah. Because I have my boots that I liked, and I had to bin those. Now you see, Keezy. Because they don't fit the, yeah. Well, no, because they were buggered. I got 13 years out of them, which is a pretty good run.

30:36Jase:It's a pretty good run. What are you going to do, Keezy? You'll keep on wearing your shirts underneath your Warriors jersey, obviously, to keep warm.

30:41Keyzie:Yeah, to make sure that they don't get stained or anything from your sweat.

30:49Yeah

30:50Keyzie:That's a cool one you're wearing at the moment Where's that? What year is that one? What's that? It's just a Warriors shirt Yeah but from when? From last year Right okay, looks really good man Okay thank you, this has turned from autumn chat into have a go at Keezy No I think it looks great, it fits you really well It's really sucking onto your buzies Okay okay I'm sorry for saying that your shirt needs a wash Okay I take it back but can you not get all up on my grill again about me wearing t-shirts underneath my Warriors jersey so that it doesn't get sweaty so that I don't have to wash it as often so that it doesn't get faded.

31:21Jase:Yeah, it was shocking from you, Jase. That was unnecessary. Yeah, I apologise, Keezy. That was unnecessary of me. Thank you. Hey, coming up next. Can I just get a text, 3483? Is it like this all over the country? Is it freezing? Is it freezing? Is it dropped immediately that the date's changed over the autumn? Because it's been bugging me, Keezy. I'll be honest with you, man. Oh, my God. Has it been bugging you? Cats been bugging me. Coming up next, a cat counsellor.

31:52The Hauraki Big Show. Weekdays from four on Radio Hauraki.

31:59Keyzie:Lenny Kravitz here on the Radio Hauraki Big Show this Monday afternoon. The time is 5.36. Now, for those of you familiar with the show, you'll know that Mogi's having a bit of a nightmare with his little kitty cat who keeps crapping and weeing on his bed on an almost daily occasion. Would that be fair, Mogi? Yeah, look, yes.

32:22Jase:Yes. How many times? Ten? Yeah, around about that. Wow, okay.

32:29Keyzie:Well, with that in mind, we thought we should get a professional on board with us, and we've got just that, the cat counsellor. Molly Kelsey, Fairfree Certified Veterinary Professional. G'day, Molly. How's life? It's wonderful, thanks. How are you guys doing? Absolutely.

32:47Jase:Very good, thank you. Can't complain. So, Molly, I've had a bit of an issue. We've got this kid and picked it up at Christmas. My six-year-old daughter was banging on about it for about three years, so we thought we'd better get one. And I love cats as well. I want to be clear about that. It's a rag doll. When we picked it up, it was 10 weeks old. and now it's whatever more that is, so another eight weeks. We operate a litter tray in one room only. The cat got used to the house, all that sort of stuff. It's still not going outside, but it doesn't mind the litter tray, but it loves urinating on my bed and doing poos on there as well.

33:27Okay, yeah, so first off, you're not alone. This is not an uncommon. I feel alone, Molly. I know, I know, and it gets old very, very quickly.

33:36Jase:I'm not sure the cat's going to get old, Molly.

33:38Keyzie:Well, you are quite alone, actually, Moggy, because, you know, you're pretty stinky. You know what I'm saying? Sorry, Molly, please continue. All good. First, I would say I would check with the person you got the kitten from, just check how they were toilet trained and what substrates they were using. Oh, yeah. Because sometimes they'll have a specific preference for what they're used to when they're really young.

34:02Jase:I'm not sure they had a system, because when we went and picked the kitten up, it was living in a dryer. Oh, that's new. Yeah. Just had a little blanket in there. I don't know what the story was. That's weird. Okay. Okay. Yeah, it's a bit on the fly there. Yeah. Yeah, so with things like beds and couches for toileting, a lot of cats will seek those spots out because, one, they smell like the people that they're close to, and, two, because it's so comfortable for them to push their little paws in when they're, like, getting ready to do their business. Yes. Right. So, yeah, what I would be doing is, first off, making it harder for the kitten to go where you don't want them to toilet.

34:39So I know it's rough, but just shutting the door. Booby traps.

34:43Jase:Yeah. Oh, okay. Shut the door. That's a good idea. Yeah, so making it harder for this cat to do the thing you don't want is way easier than trying to fix it once it's happened. Yes. Secondly, just making sure that there's more than one litter box in the house. Yeah. because if it's rooms away from when the cat needs to go, some cats will be like, well, I enjoy going on the bed, so I'll just go back there. The cat loves going on the bed. And what we started doing was running two litter trays because if it doesn't get cleaned, then it will go on the other one because they're very picky, very fussy, especially this cat.

35:17Jase:But then there's something about it's like defecating on a cloud and who wouldn't want to do that? So I can understand why it's choosing the bed, but it's just getting slightly frustrating because we're running out of bedding. Yeah, of course. Yeah, it's like laundry day every day. It is. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Stuff like Odorix or Odorid can be really good to help reduce the drive to go back and use those areas again. Yeah, we've got some of that stuff. Yeah, okay, that's good. Another thing would be to get a vet check to make sure there's nothing that's irritating, you know, their bladder or anything like that that could be causing them to seek out these spots rather than going to the litter box.

35:57Jase:What about if it could just be a personality thing where he's just thinking or she is just thinking, just this is what you get. Yeah, is it a respect thing, Molly, the cat counsellor? Maybe I've got no mana and the cat can sense it. Can cats sense mana, Molly? Well, they're not petty like us. Like, you know, we think about people and they're like, I'm going to do this so you feel this. Cats are more like, this is my environment. I'm living with giants. I'm going to try and do my best, but I'm going to communicate in ways that might not make sense to you and they don't realise that. So sometimes toileting behaviours like this can be a result of stress or anxiety.

36:34So I'd also look at, you know, what is this cat experiencing in your home that might be causing some stress or anxiety?

36:41Jase:Well, actually, that could be it. That could be it because the Warriors season starts this week and Lukey Met's out for 10 weeks. Yes, anxiety is high. The cat's definitely feeling the stress. Now, the other thing that I thought might be the case is maybe it's time to get the cat spayed. Would that be right? Because the cat's not going outside yet, and maybe it's time for us to get a cat during for it to roam, because it really does want to get outside. Yeah, so if you intend on letting them out, I would definitely, definitely make sure they're spayed for doing so. Cats can have litters. They can get pregnant as young as four or five months of age, which is scary.

37:16Yeah. So with spaying, just check with your vet. Most vets want the 800 grams and over. All good, but some like to wait longer. Oh, that's expensive,$800 ,000. $800 ,000, yeah. Can you imagine? But no, some behaviours like this can be intensified by hormones. But yeah, again, I would revisit things like stress and anxiety, have a check out and see how your cat's seeing your household routine and seeing if there's any area that you need to fill to make their life a bit more relaxed.

37:51Keyzie:Well, Molly, thank you so much for that advice. and hopefully Mogi will take that on board and things will change in the Mogi household.

38:00Jase:Yeah, I'll give you an update in a couple of weeks. We'll get you back on. Oh, please do. Please do. I'm invested now. That is Molly Kelsey. She is the cat counsellor. If you ever need any help with your cat, make sure you do get in touch.

38:14Keyzie:Good stuff. In the meantime, here's Guns N' Roses. The Hauraki Big Show. Weekdays from four on Radio Hauraki. She-Hard there on the Radio Hauraki Big Show this Monday afternoon. Let's talk sport.

38:45Jase:Fellas, I woke up at about 4 o 'clock in the morning on Saturday, I think it was, there and I got up and I watched the cricket T20 World Cup. Everybody loves it. Kesey gets them. Yep. And the Black Caps were playing against England there. We got a fairly paltry sum really. I wasn't looking super thrilled about it. 159 for 7 off 20. Yeah, just a bit short. Wasn't looking good. But then we were, as the game progressed, we had England absolutely buggered. They couldn't score a boundary. They were losing wickets as they tried to break the shackles, et cetera, et cetera. But they scored about 60-odd runs in the last four overs.

39:25Jase:In the 18th over, they've seen an old Glenn Phillips. That's who you want closing out your innings for you. Yeah. Bang, 22 runs off him. Yes. Next up was Ish the Dish Sody. Bang, 16 off him. And then off the last over, they got five runs, three balls to spare. They got absolutely pumped. I don't know what happened there. But they buggered it. Yes, they did.

39:47Keyzie:a loss by four wickets, I believe, in the end, was it? Yeah, roundabout. Yeah, roundabout.

39:51Jase:But the good news is they progressed through to the semis. They'll be playing South Africa next up for a place in the final. Who will be? Blackcaps are playing against South Africa for a place in the final.

40:04Keyzie:Oh!

40:05Jase:Yeah. Okay, I thought if they beat England, then... No, they needed Pakistan to win against Sri Lanka, which they did, or it didn't really matter, but for Pakistan to get in front of the Black Caps, they had to win by 103 or something like that. Right, okay, great stuff. So they're still in there, buddy. We've crawled our way through to the knockout stages. How good? Hey, in rugby news, didn't watch any of it. Is that it? What kind of rugby? Any kind of rugby at all. Super rugby. Oh, yes. But, Jase, you're our super rugby expert. Am I? We have a sting made for your rugby union chat with Hoity J.

40:39Keyzie:Right, okay. So have you gone off it? What's the deal? No, it's just one of those things where I was doing other stuff, fellas, and I just didn't catch up with it. So you've gone off it? Well, I was just doing other stuff. Are you going to watch any this weekend? Definitely, man. What was the scores there, Kesey? I'm not just going to read out the scores. There's more to it than that. All I will say is my dad and my brother will be very upset the Chiefs losing to the Crusaders 43-33, despite being massively up. So they'll be gutted, and it breaks my heart to see the Crusaders get a win, because them going winless would have made me so happy.

41:09Jase:Well, especially after being losing to teams that they should have beaten. So, yeah, the Chiefs will be absolutely gussed about that one. Yeah, they will be. Any other results there, Keezer? Or is that a slot? Well, I mean, I could just list off results, but I think it's boring. Just on the NRL, though, we had those two games over in Vegas. Pretty boring match-ups, but two kind of annoying things happened. Fletcher Sharp for the Knights, who's an amazing young player in 5 '8 there. Very exciting, has a mullet. Injured, potentially long-term. PCL. And then another bloke for the Cowboys, Scott Drinkwater, also injured.

41:44Maybe not as long. A bit of a rib injury. So it sucks. It just reminds you that as soon as the rugby league season, all rugby union starts, injuries happen straight away. They do. To big names.

41:53Keyzie:Well, that's what happens when grown men are smashing into each other, I suppose. Well, you wouldn't know because you don't watch it. I watched the league. Bloody Oats, I did. Who was playing? The Dragons and the Bulldogs. Yes, correct. Yeah, nice. Pass that check. Oh, here's the Ramones. That was all good.

42:38Actually, I figured, fellas, seeing as it's the first day of our Toledo sponsorship, I'll tell you a bit more about the product, eh? Yeah, great, man. It's a beverage. Is it a drink? It's a drink.

42:47Jase:Okay. It is low in sugar, no preservatives, natural flavors. I like low in sugar. Oh, yeah? Yeah, that's a good thing. Do you like preservatives? No. Yeah, good, you'll like this then. Natural flavors? Oh, yeah. Yeah, plenty of that. Natural colors as well. Family friendly, made in Aotearoa. Is it family friendly? It's family friendly. So no, like, nudity and stuff. Yeah, right. Okay, so it's not R18. Can't throw that at your kids or anything like that. Nah, nah, nah. It's all G. It's all G. And you can get four flavours, tropical, blue, citrus and grape. Blue flavour. Blue flavour. Blue flavour.

43:20Blue flavour.

43:21Jase:I'm going to taste that. I've never tasted blue before. Although there were kablooies when I was a kid. Those gobstoppers and they made your whole mouth go blue.

43:29Keyzie:Yes, I remember those. Nearly choked to death on one of them, actually. The blue ones, Toledo, is beautiful. It's bloody good, fellas. Does it taste like blue? Well, I mean, it's... What does blue taste like? Well, this is... I'm asking you. It's certainly not like a blue cheese. Oh, that's... I mean, that's a very distinct blue. Imagine if it tastes like blue.

43:51Jase:There's other kinds of blues, but I can't talk about it because it's a family-friendly. Toledo's is family-friendly, isn't it? Absolutely. Blueberries? Does it taste like blueberries?

43:59Keyzie:Yeah, a little bit. Actually, I was thinking, Keezy, Toledo's is going to be great for when we play the golf, mate. A couple of those in the old kit bag there. Yeah, yeah. For when we're trekking around Waitakere. Or the golf club bag, as I like to call it. Yes. Douche, douche. Fellas, I hate to keep bringing it up, but I've just got a quick request. Ari, come dine with me. Okay, we'll get into that next. Okay, here's the darkness. The Hauraki Big Show with Jace, Mike and Keezy. Tune in weekdays at four on Radio Hauraki. The Verve there on the radio. Hodaki, big show this Monday evening. The time is 6.14.

44:39Fellas, what was it, like Friday a week ago or something, we went round to Jace's place for a come dine with me evening. Lovely dinner party it was. And it's the first. Half. Yeah. What?

44:50Jase:Yeah. It was the first of four dinner parties that we're each going to host. Pugs is going to host one. Across the whole year, right? Across the whole year. I'll host one. Mogi, you'll host one as well. And then we'll score each other. Mike you gave Jase an 8 out of 10 for the dinner party Pugs gave Jase an 8 out of 10 as well I gave Jase a 6 out of 10 I've banged on about it but I listed the reasons why but I'm just wondering if there's any way I could request to not go next because if I go next Jase is still so upset with my score despite how honest it was and it being my true beliefs that I worry that he's going to render this whole competition a waste of time with his bitterness.

45:37Jase:Well, this is the thing, I guess, isn't it? Number one, I think we have to let the people decide. I think we have to run a poll. Yes. That's just my personal feeling. And then no matter what ends up happening, it's all fair that way, that we're not having any input. Agreed. As competitors. And it does just worry me a little bit. no matter when you go, Kesey, that Jase is still going to be fuming.

46:02Keyzie:I was going to say, what a long memory. So I don't think that when you go is going to make any particular difference. Because what it's going to do, Jase, is you're going to see that I'm scoring everyone on the same system. It's not just a personal attack at you.

46:17Jase:Yeah. Well, on that note, it probably does make sense then to leave him last because if Kesey does go next and then I score him the way that I would normally score him, which is to say fairly, and then he gets around to my joint and gives me a shocking score like he's given you, I'll feel like a mug for having given him a good score. Yes. So I think that's right, Kesey. You should go last. That's a good idea. I don't mind you going last. Hang on. I think I want to go next. No, that's a good idea. Last. Well, look, the thing I'm saying, this is why I waited until today, just waiting for the smoke to clear.

46:50Jase:It hasn't cleared. The fire's still raging. Oh, it is. waiting for Jase just to cool off a wee bit before bringing it up. There's burning coals in my gut. Look, Jase, at the end of the day, you should have put on a better spray. Okay, now don't worry. All I'm saying is I just think me going next is a bad idea. I agree. Because Jase is going to – and it's going to render the entire competition pointless because it's just going to be us being petty. Well, not even me because I'm being honest, but like Jase being petty.

47:15Keyzie:I think you've got a point. Yeah. Jase, what do you think, man? Yeah, look, I'm happy for Keezy to go last. Yeah, I think it's a good idea. Yeah, because if he's going to be so consistently marking that way, then it'll be good to know when he does the ultimate come dine with me at the very end there, and we can all give our very honest scores and marks. Well, the way you're saying it now is so full of venom and hatred. There's no venom or hatred, Kesey. Your arms are crossed in a very staunch manner. I will be giving you a very honest evaluation of your evening. Okay, cool. And will you take into account things like if I have wine glasses or if I kick you guys out really early or anything like that?

47:58Keyzie:No, no, it's just going to be on the food. Oh, and the atmosphere, actually. The hosting. Yeah. Because the food at your place was remarkable. It was just the hosting that let it down.

48:07Jase:You were saying the other day it was remarkable considering. Did I say that? The Hauraki Big Show, weekdays from four on Radio Hauraki.

48:16Keyzie:Smashing pumpkins there on the Radio Hauraki Big Show this Monday. evening. The time is 6.27 and great news, New Zealand. The big show's back on the road, fellas. We certainly are on the road, Jase. Well, to be more accurate, we're on the tracks. We're on the tracks and we're in the air. Yes. Because we're going to fly down to Christchurch next week. That is Thursday, the 12th of March. We're going to be doing a live show from Critic Bar, which is at the Richmond Club. We've been to the Richmond Club before. And then on the Friday we catch the Trans-Alpine Railway over But a beautiful hooker ticker.

48:50Oh, well, Chris said railway wrong, Mo. You've got a big grin on your face there.

48:54Jase:That's okay, man. No, but he was cracking up. Honestly, dude, I didn't even know. Yes, you did. I was laughing about something else. It's fine, man. It happens to the best of us. Now that's totally sucked the air out of our live show. Yeah, totally it has. That's a shame because we're expecting big numbers and now. Who knows? So you think that the live show now could be a really bad affair because I stopped halfway through that yarn there? No, let us know, 3483. Give us a text. Call us on 0800-HODE. Can you tell us if Kesey has absolutely butchered this break and therefore the entire live show?

49:27I don't know. We're going to catch the Transalpine to hook a ticker on the Friday, fellas. I've never been on the Transalpine. I'm bloody excited for that.

49:35Jase:It's trans with a Z as well, which makes it even fancier. 100%. Travelling across the Southern Alps between Christchurch and Greymouth. If you're interested in doing that journey as well, don't forget greatjourneysnz.com.

49:46Keyzie:They have like snack bars and stuff. I've never been. Actually, I have been. I think they do. You've been? Yes. Was it good? Yeah, it was amazing. Okay, so I'll... Amazing. So when they ask which ones of us have been on it, I'll write has been next to you. And I'll write hasn't been yet next to me and Moggy. Also, we... Also... That score is just going down and down and down. Chase, don't bring Come Die with me into this. Also, apparently we had a word to the top boss there at the Transalpine and we have been given permission to enter the caboose.

50:25Jase:Really? Do you have to get permission? Yeah, I think so. Right. I don't think it's like something you can just like willy-nilly. Wander it, yeah. Yeah, yeah, that would be. So, yeah, on the Thursday of the next week, the 12th of March, Critic Bar, Richmond Club.

50:37Keyzie:So you're going to go into the caboose? Well, yeah, I mean, we've been given permission. What do they keep in there? I don't know. I literally don't know. All the crap that they have lying around in my, probably. I've got no idea. But, yeah, Critic Bar, Richmond Club, Thursday next week. Then we're riding the Transalpine over the Southern Alps, over to hook and ticker there. Can't bloody wait, fellas. I'm frothing it. I'm frothing it. It's going to be great. It's going to be so good. We'll see you there. And, of course, we're going to be at the Wild Foods Festival as well on this Saturday. Yeah, very much looking forward to that.

51:06Keyzie:Here's the killers. The Hauraki Beat Show with Jace, Mike, and Keezy. Tune in weekdays at 4 on Radio Hauraki.

51:20Keyzie:Well, there you go, you mad bastards. That's the big show done and dusted this Monday evening. What's the podcast outro clip today, Keezy? Today's podcast outro clip is about an optical illusion that you played on us when we went to your apartment for the first time. When I first walked in, you've got Jase standing in the corner of this apartment with really high ceilings. It was like I was in a cathedral. Yes. Because of the optical illusion. Force perspective. Force perspective. You looked like a hobbit. I wasn't wearing my shoes either with my heels. Because you've got the raised shoes. Yeah, yeah.

51:53The lifts, yeah.

51:53Keyzie:So I looked even smaller than I normally look. You know what I'm saying, cables? It looked like you were way in the distance. Yes. Hi, DJ. And he's literally standing directly in front of me. What? Get him. Get him. Get him. Yes, indeed. Good times, fellas. Ah, Mogi. What's the plan tonight, please?

52:09Jase:I'll be riding my bike home this evening, fellas. It's cold because it's cold out there. It's too windy. It's blowing a gale. I had a headwind coming in today, and I'm hoping it'll be behind me on the way home. A fair wind at my back. Yeah, nice. Then I've got some work to do, and then I'll go to sleep at some point. Are you looking forward to getting home? Yeah. Even though you just go home to do work? Oh, yeah. Are you still looking forward to it? Yeah, yeah, yeah, because I'm looking forward to having the work done, Keezy.

52:33Keyzie:Chipping away, brother. We're chipping away. Nice. Yeah. Good stuff. What about you, Keezy? I'm going to go home and cook dinner because my wife's at touch, and I just actually got sent through what I'm making. It's a pork mince stir fry. Pork noodle stir fry. So I'm looking forward to that. I'll make that and then my wife and I will probably watch Amazing Race Australia and then she'll go to bed. I might play PlayStation for a bit and then I'll go to bed. Nice. What are you doing, Jase? Going home. Yeah, good on you, man. Salmon salad for dinner tonight. It's too cold for a salmon salad. Bit of TV watching.

53:08Keyzie:Bit of lovemaking. My wife's birthday tomorrow. Oh, God, I've dropped the ball again. We're on divorce. Have you ever held the ball? No, I don't know that I have, Maggie. The ball's just on the ground. It's just perpetually on the ground. You just fall over it every now and again. Yeah, just trip on it. I feel like you're looking for a ball, but you're actually, the game's being played with a shuttlecock or something. Yeah, exactly. But, you know, we'll see what I can pluck out of thin air. Nice. Well, I look forward to an update on what you managed to pull off.

53:32Jase:You can take home, why don't you do this? Not many people have got this. She'll be the first one. You can take home some bottles of Toledos. and a Toledo's cap and this Toledo's shirt because we've got all this merch to give away now. She could be the first one. Bloody good idea, mate. I'm here for you, mate.

53:46Keyzie:Hey, thanks for listening to the show. Make sure you check out the podcast. Make sure you check out the Instagram. Till tomorrow, see you later. Bye.