FULL SHOW: The Diagnosis

7:28Keyzie:Maybe.

7:28Mogey:Yeah.

7:29Keyzie:Maybe.

7:30Mogey:Yeah. See, I just, I thought Monday-itis was just like a phrase. You know what I mean? Like, oh, I've got Monday-itis because it's the start of the week, the weekend's over here, a bit sad.

7:38Jase:Oh, yeah, I think people do think that, but you can tell because it's got itis at the end. Yes. That means it's a real... It's a legit disease. Yeah. I don't know if it's bacterial or viral. I think it must be viral.

7:54Keyzie:When I've got it really bad, like I will literally go to the car to come into work, for example, and just sit in the car and sigh and not move for like five minutes and stare blankly out the windscreen. Yeah.

8:08Mogey:Yeah, right.

8:09Keyzie:just unable to even turn the ignition.

8:11Mogey:Because I was just thinking you're a bit hungover, but you think it's a proper thing that you've got here.

8:15Jase:It's Monday-itis, Casey. Look, if you're going to start belittling me because I've got Monday-itis, I mean, what?

8:20Mogey:Well, no, I don't want to belittle you.

8:22Keyzie:This is why people that have Monday-itis don't talk about it. You're right. Because people like you just mock them and just say, well, no, I don't want to be that guy. Well, it's not a legit decision. Well, that's not what I sound like.

8:34Mogey:Well, how do you even know? I could wake up tomorrow and have Monday-itis.

8:39Jase:Just goes to show you don't understand the disease.

8:41Keyzie:I thought Pugs had it last week, actually.

8:44Jase:Yeah.

8:44Keyzie:But it was Tuesday.

8:49Keyzie:Anyone else out there suffering from Mondayitis? Yeah, thank you. 3483, what are your symptoms? 0800-HAURAKI. The Hauraki Big Show with Jase, Mike and Keezy. Tune in weekdays at 4 on Radio Hauraki. Just there on the Radio Hauraki Big Show this Monday. afternoon. The time is 4.29. We're just talking Monday-itis. Poor old Mogi's got a terrible dose of it. This morning he even went to the doctor to see what he could do about it. Not much, unfortunately. No. Not much. Spoonful of concrete, as my wife would say. Spoonful of concrete.

9:24Jase:I think it's cement, because then you can harden up. But if it's concrete, it's already hard. Yeah, you swallow it hard. Do you? Do you suck it? Do you suck it hard?

9:33Keyzie:Well, if you're inclined to.

9:36Jase:You can have it as a lozenge.

9:38Keyzie:You can have it as a lozenge or you can just take it down hard.

9:41Mogey:I thought that was just a saying. Do they actually make you eat concrete? Concrete, yeah, so you can harden up. So just to be clear, you went to the doctor. He genuinely diagnosed you with Mundayitis and then gave you...

9:54Jase:Well, for me it was cement.

9:55Mogey:A cement pill.

9:56Jase:Yeah. Well, it's like a syrup.

10:00Mogey:Oh, like cough syrup.

10:01Jase:Yeah, yeah, yeah. Then you swallow it and it hardens up. And it differs from his charcoal pill that he took for his wind. Yeah, because I had horrendous flatulence. That's a throwback, fellas. It's ripping ass.

10:12Mogey:A lot of people here on 3483 giving their opinions on Mondayitis. G'day, fellas. Mondayitis is definitely a thing. It can be chronic. It's seasonal and particularly contagious this year because spring has not quite arrived yet. It hasn't sprung. Yeah. Yeah. G'day, guys. Thanks for bringing Mondayitis to the nation's attention and helping remove the stigma. Yes.

10:32Keyzie:That's exactly the point I was trying to make.

10:34Mogey:Well, maybe I'm just ignorant. Maybe that's what it is because I just thought it was like a piss take. No. It's just a saying. No. Someone here says, I call it having a bad case of the Garfields because that ginger bastard hates Mondays. Oh, he does, yeah. I remember that.

10:48Keyzie:Yeah. Did you used to read Garfield? I did, yeah. Yeah.

10:51Mogey:Just get on with it, you sacks. I did like John.

10:54Keyzie:No, I was not a big fan of John either. No. What was the dog's name? Odie. Odie, that's right.

11:00Mogey:So cool, guys.

11:01Keyzie:See, that's making my Monday artist feel a little bit better.

11:05Mogey:What about this one? Listening to you guys and now I've got a case of mundane-itis. Am I right? Oh.

11:11Jase:See what you've done there. That's made up though, right? That's made me go worse now. Yeah, I feel really bad about myself. Now.

11:17Mogey:Oh. Yeah.

11:22Jase:What about like a re-burger voucher? Would that fix it? I'm not allowed to win them though. That's the other thing that gets me down. Oh, man. Because I'm on the show, Jase. Yeah. They don't let us have them. But, yeah, I reckon it'll be about 24 hours. I should be all G tomorrow. But in the meantime, man, I'm just, yeah. I'm probably going to go to the toilet for about 40 minutes and just play on my phone. Just the usual then. The Hauraki Big Show with Jase, Mike and Kesey. Tune in weekdays at 4 on Radio Hauraki.

11:51Keyzie:She-heart there on the Radio Hauraki Big Show this Monday afternoon. The time, 20 minutes to 5 o 'clock. Let's have some sport chat.

12:08Keyzie:Shall we start with the ABs, fellas? Go on, then. I'll be honest. I genuinely thought we were going to lose that Test match. We haven't really hit our straps, I feel, this season. It feels like there's still some things to be worked out. And we were playing the Australians at home. And the Australians have been good as well throughout the competition. I think our most encouraging performance to date Very composed. Our defence was great. And we kind of put them under massive pressure and comfortably took it out on the end. So I was quite impressed by that.

12:40Jase:That's good stuff, man.

12:41Keyzie:I was impressed by it, that performance. You like that, man? Because I've been bagging them a little bit. You have. You've been a horrible bus.

12:47Jase:Because a lot of them listen to the show and they stop because of the things you've been saying.

12:51Keyzie:I love the Barrett brothers. But no, seriously, I thought it was very composed. And for the first time, it felt like I could see a game plan. Right. and it was the composure I think that won it for them in the end because Australia came out hot for 30, 35 minutes and we withstood that and then took control. Like all blacks of old. Nice.

13:12Jase:Dude, man. Did you guys not watch it?

13:14Keyzie:I did watch it, yeah. Yeah. Did you think it was a good performance?

13:17Jase:I can't remember a thing about it to be honest with you. Oh, right. I don't know what that is. I mean, I watched it. I got up and watched it. I didn't watch it on the night. I didn't want to do that. Yeah. It was all good. Yeah. It was all good. It was a solid performance. Yeah, you just need to string a few together. Yes. I think it's kind of.

13:33Keyzie:Well, you know, I thought we were well and truly out of the rugby championship, but we only just missed out on actually winning the damn thing. Yeah. Despite the fact that we were pretty, and even Scott Barrett was saying, you know, we had some pretty ugly performances throughout the season. Yeah. So something to reflect upon. So South Africa won it? Yeah, South Africa took it out. Yeah, one point. A brutal game against Argentina, incidentally. Yeah, I didn't see that one.

13:56Mogey:Did you watch the Black Caps at all over the weekend?

14:00Jase:Well, they played on Friday night, but it got rained off. Then it was on Saturday. I think I watched. It was on, but yeah, no.

14:08Keyzie:In the background, Keezy? Right. I was busy making love during that time.

14:13Jase:I feel like the covers were on and off in that one as well. They were? Yeah, it was hard to get fizzed for, I've got to admit.

14:19Mogey:So is it the T20 format? Is that what it is?

14:21Jase:Does it just not fire you up as much?

14:23Keyzie:No, it doesn't do it for me, I'll be honest. but having said that, it was the weather playing at this time of the year it was pissing down with rain most of the time it was wet and soggy

14:33Jase:I sort of find the bilateral series which don't mean anything a million T20s, a million one days, it's another series it doesn't relate to anything in all honesty I just don't care anymore I love the test matches because the test matches I love that it counts towards the world championship of that and then And I love a 50 over a World Cup as well. Don't mind a T20 World Cup. But other than that, I just find it a bit hard to get excited about. Same. Especially when they're rolling their players in and out. You know? Yes. Is this the best team New Zealand can offer? No. We're putting new players in.

15:08Jase:Okay, well then if you're not bothered, neither am I.

15:10Keyzie:Yeah, exactly. Exactly my philosophy.

15:12Mogey:I think, yeah, I don't want to speak out of turn here, but hands down the most exciting sporting event of the weekend was the NRL Grand Final. Yeah. Last night. And this is what happens.

15:21Jase:Are we going to wait for Gabby for that? Are we going to talk about that with Gubby?

15:24Mogey:Oh, okay.

15:24Jase:We're going to call Gubby. But I completely agree. Yeah, right, okay. I completely agree. I do just want to touch on the US3 320. Magomed Ankalaev fought Alex Pereira. Pereira lost last time. This guy is absolutely out the gate, but he got beaten last time and came out. And I think he smashed this guy's face and got his title back within about a minute. Wow. It was pretty amazing. So this is the guy that Israel Adesanya had fought a few times. He's an absolute weapon. The order he gets, the better he seems to get. It was a great card all around, Keezy. Did you watch it, man?

16:01Mogey:Nah.

16:02Jase:Yeah.

16:03Mogey:Just the NRL, man. That's what I was watching. Yeah, yeah, yeah.

16:06Jase:You guys are fizzing about that, eh? Absolutely. I can't wait to talk to Charlie Gub about that. Probably a bit later in the show, fellas. Yeah, I think maybe around 5.30, fellas.

16:14Mogey:Right, news to me, all right. Here we go. Speaking of news, here's news. News to me. The Hauraki Big Show. Weekdays from four on Radio Hauraki.

16:23Keyzie:Bon Jovi there on the Radio Hauraki. Big show this Monday afternoon. The time is 4.53. Let's talk TV. What's on the telly with Mike Minogue.

16:37Keyzie:Riba!

16:39Jase:Yes!

16:43Jase:Had some mates staying over the weekend. So on Saturday, when everyone was in the depth of their hangover, Keezy, We put on Black Bag, which is on Netflix. I believe it's directed by Steven Soderbergh, and it's got Cate Blanchett and Michael Fassbender in it, and it's a British, I've watched this before, it's a British sort of a spy, whodunit, what the hell's going on sort of a thing. It's a movie. Yeah, right. It only goes to 90 minutes. It's a bit actory and cold and, yeah, not fully engaging, to be honest with you. Two and a half buzzies.

17:17Mogey:Out of a possible five. That was on Netflix, did you say?

17:19Jase:That was on Netflix. Yeah, they've also got a new search, a new setup, a new interface on Netflix, and I don't like it. Same. Because you used to be able to, on your remote control, push left, and that would give you most of your menu. But now you have to scroll all the way back up to the top, all the way up, all the way up, and then you can get your search menus, and it's really annoying. So if you could have a word, Jase. Yeah, sure, man. With Captain Netflix. Bob Netflix.

17:44Keyzie:Was your score or your buzzies affected by The Hangover, you think?

17:48Jase:I've seen it before. Right. And the other people I was with, they hadn't seen it. So in all honesty, I lay on the couch for half an hour and then I went to bed. Right, okay. So good. Good stuff. I went to see The Talk of the Town at the moment, one battle after another. Oh, The Talk of the Town. I thought it was a movie called The Talk of the Town. That's a good name for a movie. It is a good name.

18:07Mogey:So this is the movie Pugs and I went and saw Tuesday last week. Yep. And we gave it 4.8 buzzies out of 5. Yes. I gave it 4.5 buzzies out of 5.

18:17Keyzie:Yes. Well, first and foremost, we went to the 4.45 session, and I didn't realise, actually, that that was the gold session. So, you know, the really flash chairs and all that sort of stuff. You have to cough up a few bucks. Yeah, I was like, how much? Is everybody out? No, it was all cheap. I really enjoyed it. Thought it was really good. Del Toro is magnificent. He's just super cool. He has character rules. DiCaprio, I love DiCaprio. He's a great actor. And I thought it was a very good story, well told, and a real reflection, actually, of where America is right this minute. Yeah. And probably a soft version of where America is right this minute.

18:57Keyzie:But there was a lot of stuff cinematography. Yeah. Yeah. That, that were really clever. Like the cars going up and down the hill. That part, yeah. Yeah, that part was cool. It was quite disorientating and stuff. But no, I thought it was really well acted. I thought it was an excellent movie. Maybe a touch long.

19:14Jase:Yeah.

19:15Keyzie:It's 2.40. 2 hours 40, yeah. Yeah, 2.42. I'll give it a solid four buzies.

19:22Mogey:There you go. Which is pretty good from Jase. Yeah, it is. Because I feel like you slam anything I like. Generally, yeah. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Over the weekend, my wife and I watched the rest of the Charlie Sheen documentary on Netflix. Oh, yes. A.K.A. Charlie Sheen. The second part of that doco is It's basically just a whole lot of people Gassing him up, giving him drugs And just being around him while he crashes and burns Yes And then someone convinces him to go on tour Yeah And I'm just like Yeah, he was just I feel like when there's someone going off the rails There's always a group of people around them Happy to keep them off the rails In order to make money off them Well, that's kind of the common thing

20:00Jase:Particularly in rock and roll bands Over the years where people are falling apart, they're barely being held together, but what should happen is the tour should be cancelled, they should be put into rehab and the person looked after, but they're not, they're filled up on drugs, their behaviour is tolerated and encouraged, and just as long as they stay out on the road and make the record company money, that's the main thing.

20:21Mogey:That's right, and it was really interesting, him saying he's happy to talk about so many things from his past. However, that tour that he did when he was out of his mind, the highest he's been, that's like the one thing that he massively just regretted more than anything else.

20:38Keyzie:And it's really sad too because it's people with a lot of money. It's like the same story of Elton John where he was just out of control and they were like, you just got to keep going, man. Just keep going. People love you. Go out and do this tour for us.

20:52Mogey:Really, really great documentary though. It's like three hours in total, two episodes on Netflix, a.k.a. Charlie Sheen. I gave that doco 3.9 buzzies out of five. Yeah. Fair enough. Good watching.

21:03Keyzie:Hey, coming up after 5 o 'clock, we discuss the rule of never going to bed angry, fellas.

21:10Mogey:Yeah, that's right, fellas. It's a rule we've got in my household. I love my rules. Also, don't forget to keep an ear out for the roar of the crowd. If you hear it, you could win$250 instantly with Giga Little. The Hauraki Big Show with Jase, Mike and Keezy. Tune in weekdays at 4 on Radio Hauraki.

21:28Keyzie:Yes, indeed. Welcome back, you massive backbones. Hope you're surviving your Monday. The time is 5.04 and you, my friends, are listening to The Big Show, brought to you by Reburger.

21:38Mogey:Craveworthy street food, freshly made with Reburger. Reburger here gets your Reburger, folks. You've got beef, chicken, vegan and vegetarian options. Yum, yum, yum, yum, yum, yum, yum, yum, yum, yum, yum, yum, yum, yum, yum, yum, yum, yum, yum. Reburger, get your Reburger, yum.

21:55Keyzie:Didn't quite catch that bit at the end. Yeah, no, that was a bit garbled at the end.

21:58Mogey:That was Reburger, get your Reburger, yum. No, there was more to it than that. Do you want to hear it again? Yes, please. Reburger here. Get your Reburger, folks. You got beef, chicken, vegan, and vegetarian options. Yum, yum, yum, yum, yum, yum, yum, yum, yum, yum, yum, yum. Reburger, get your Reburger, yum.

22:15Keyzie:Reburger, get your Reburger, yum. Yeah. I mean, I don't know how you guys feel about it. Do you think old Pugsan's getting a little bit overexcited with the Reburger stings?

22:24Jase:I mean, I'm sure they love them. I think it's Keezy encouraging them. Oh, is it?

22:28Keyzie:Yeah.

22:28Mogey:Yeah. Well, I think, you know me and Pugsan, man, we're a package deal. We're two peas in a pod. Yeah, that's true. We're busy buddies and when we link up, You're the two musketeers. The two musketeers. When we link up, you know, good things happen on the radio. Yeah, when? Huh? Just then, Mogey. Oh! Yeah, yeah, yeah. That was the good stuff. That's the best we got.

22:49Keyzie:Hey, now coming up, a very controversial topic so you want to stay tuned. I won't get into it right now because it'll spoil the surprise. Oh, good.

22:58Mogey:Really? It just sort of sounds like you don't know what's coming.

23:00Keyzie:A little tease. Well, it's about going to bed with your loved one there. Yeah. And if you're in a hoo-roo of a mood. Oh. Here's Weezer. The Hauraki Big Show with Jace, Mike and Keezy. Tune in weekdays at four on Radio Hauraki. T-Rex there on the radio. Hauraki Big Show this Monday afternoon. The time is 14 minutes past five o 'clock.

23:21Mogey:Fellas, have you heard the sort of mantra when it comes to relationships that you should never go to bed angry? Sorry, the what? The what? The mantra.

23:29Jase:What's a mantra? It's like a mantra, but is it mantra?

23:34Mogey:Yes. Isn't really funny, is it? No. Is that really? Oh, Chris said mantra instead of mantra.

23:41Keyzie:That's hilarious. Yes, but anyway, what is the mantra?

23:47Mogey:The mantra of never going to bed angry. Oh, yes. And the other saying is never let the sun set on your anger or your argument. That's come from Jesus.

23:57Jase:Did he say that? Yeah, Jesus said it. Never let the sun go down on your anger.

24:02Keyzie:I remember actually, funnily enough, I think it was my nana used to have like this porcelain teacup or something that had that mantra on it. Never go to bed on an argument.

24:13Jase:Really? Yes. And my great uncle Stevie, he had a t-shirt that said, it's not a bald patch, it's a solar panel for a sex machine.

24:23Mogey:That's funny. Yeah. See, now that's the kind of mantra I can get behind.

24:26Keyzie:Yes. But no, I've definitely heard that, Keisy, yes.

24:30Mogey:Yeah, so when you guys are having a hoot of an argument with your partners, you know, like weekly or daily, if you're Mike, do you sort of try to live by that philosophy and patch things up before you go to bed? I used to. You used to? Yeah, yeah. You just give it up now?

24:42Jase:Yeah, well, look, I think that sometimes you can, I think it's good to try, but then, you know, after a while, yeah, might as well just go to sleep. Totally, totally. Because often it's the sorting out can take a really long time. And I've got some Zs I need to catch. Yeah, yeah. I'll often go into a separate room because the sobbing can keep me awake.

25:10Mogey:What about you, Jason? Are you similar to Mike?

25:13Keyzie:Well, there is something to be said about going to bed with a simmering anger between the two of you. Yes.

25:21Mogey:You know what I'm saying?

25:22Keyzie:I'm talking about making up, sort of. You go to bed and you make up in bed with that simmering kind of juices flowing.

25:35Mogey:You're talking about bangage. You're banging angry. Is that what you're talking about?

25:40Keyzie:Have you ever heard the mantra, make up sex?

25:45Mogey:No, I've never heard of it.

25:46Keyzie:Right, okay. In all honesty, my partner and I very rarely argue. What about you and your wife? My wife and I occasionally have an argument, and if we do, I am not comfortable until it's resolved.

26:04Mogey:Yeah, yeah, yeah, right. Same here. But I was reading an article today that was very interesting. It was basically saying, no, go to sleep because all you're going to do is make yourself more tired. Often when you've slept, I'll sleep on that. You know, you wake up the next day, you've got a different perspective on things. You're well rested. You've calmed down.

26:21Keyzie:There is that. There is that. You've taken a deep breath. You've taken a pause. That's right. You know what I mean? But I get so agitated and upset by it, I wouldn't sleep anyway.

26:31Jase:That's the truth for me as well. I can't go to sleep because I'm so, yeah, I need to have it sorted out. Otherwise, I'll just lie there thinking about it. Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah.

26:39Keyzie:About how that's stuffed up and how they owe me an apology. That's right. I can't believe they said that to me. Yes. Don't they know that I'm a sensitive fellow? Yeah. You know, all that sort of jazz. Yeah, right. Give them an opportunity to make amends.

26:53Jase:I can't sleep without my apology. I need a fresh apology. You need to receive your apology. I need my apology. Yeah. I need it now.

27:00Mogey:And is it always going that way? Like them apologising to you?

27:03Jase:Yeah, I don't know what it is. It seems to be. Yeah, but I mean, I won't go to bed angry tonight, of course, because I've got Monday-itis. So I just can't, you know. Although she might get angry at me because I just refuse to help her in the house because I've got mandoitis because I'm straight through that door. I'm on the couch.

27:20Mogey:Yeah, right. I just thought it was interesting that the advice, you know, because my thing, philosophy for a long time, my mantra was don't go to bed on an argument, but now halfway through an argument, I'm just going to get some shadow. Yeah. Doesn't matter what time it is.

27:34Keyzie:Yeah, just fall asleep mid-argument. The Hauraki Big Show with Jace, Mike and Keezy. Tune in weekdays at four on Radio Hauraki. The Killers there on the radio. Hodaki, big show this Monday afternoon. The time, 5.26, fellas. So good. Yep, there you go.

27:51Mogey:Sorry, fellas. That's all right, mate.

27:52Keyzie:It's Monday. It is. You know what I'm saying?

27:54Mogey:Yeah, yeah, yeah.

27:55Keyzie:Hey, we talked about the weekend and, you know, what we got up to and stuff. You'll recall, of course, last week my wife bought me the most amazing present ever.

28:08Mogey:It was an old typewriter, wasn't it?

28:10Keyzie:An old school typewriter. From the 70s, early 70s? 1973, I think it was. 71. The old Olivetti shells.

28:17Jase:Beautiful gesture. The ribbon doesn't work, you were saying, Jase.

28:21Keyzie:Well, actually, here's the funny thing, Mogi. If you just twist it around a little bit, it's just sweet as, mate.

28:27Jase:And what about the caps lock? That was locked on as well. You couldn't work that bastard out either.

28:32Keyzie:And this is what I love about these old typewriters. They've got their little quirks. You know what I mean? It's like my house. It's all filled with character. You know, like with my shower, you know, you've got to sort of turn the hot water on the sink on full before the shower will go full. You know, it's just stuff like that.

28:51Jase:Yeah, that sounds pretty standard.

28:53Keyzie:With my Olivetti with the caps lock, because I had a whole day where I was like, Jesus, suck on the bloody, you know, I was on the old YouTube there trying to find out how to unstick it from caps lock.

29:05Mogey:Right, so everything you typed at that point was like you were yelling.

29:08Keyzie:Yeah, exactly. Well, actually, because I couldn't do it and I was so keen to get typing, I just did everything in capital letters. It's all right.

29:15Mogey:It's quite an angry thing you're typing out there.

29:17Keyzie:Yeah, well, it looks like it was a deliberate thing, and I'll include that in my anthology at the end of the year. Right. But then my wife came home and had a little bit of a tutu, and she said, if you just shift it slightly to the right with your thumb, it unclicks again. Ah, yes. Which is probably how it operates, but I didn't know that.

29:34Mogey:Yeah, right, so you fixed that.

29:35Keyzie:Yeah, and I was tapping away all weekend. and you'll be happy to know, fellas, I've written about maybe 11 poems.

29:42Jase:Can you bring one in tomorrow? You're absolutely pumping them out. This is what I love. We were talking about it last week a little bit, weren't we, Casey? Oftentimes a poet will spend even days and weeks and months on one poem, but you've done four a day.

29:54Mogey:Yes, I have. They must be so good.

29:57Keyzie:Wow. You know, as I say, here's what I'm talking about, is because I've been backed up with poems. You know, we were talking with this old What's-His-Face from Australian Crawl. And sometimes things... James Raine, yeah. James Raine. And things just come out really quickly. They can, yeah. I mean, you know, there are those people out there that'll work on and polish a line. Yeah, make them better. Or do that, you know, or make them better. But sometimes they just come out as they're meant to be, Moody. True. Having said that, all 11 so far are really bad.

30:28Mogey:What kind of poems are they? Do they rhyme? No. Are they like acrostic? So it'll be like Jason Hoyt down the left side, and then the first sentence will start with J. Yeah, J. A will be, yeah.

30:38Jase:No, they're just kind of random sort of poems, really. Are they sort of morose and melancholy and sad?

30:45Keyzie:Ultimately, yes, they are.

30:48Mogey:Can you seriously pick out your favourite one that you think is the best and bring it in tomorrow? Or the worst.

30:52Keyzie:I'll do, what I'll do is I'll do one at the end of the week, all right? And I might have something that's marginally presentable, but the reason I bring it up is because I'm contemplating an autobiography. And I've talked about this before, but then I'm plagued by demons of going, who cares?

31:11Mogey:Yeah. And who even knows who I am? Great point. So you just saved yourself a lot of work.

31:16Keyzie:What kind of idiot, you know, writes an autobiography that no one's going to read, fellas? You know what I'm saying?

31:21Mogey:But is that the reason why you're writing an autobiography? Because you want people to read about you or are you just writing it because you'd like the idea of having your life typed out?

31:29Keyzie:Well, my nana did that. My nana wrote an autobiography. Oh, she was a huge deal, though. She wrote an autobiography about her life. She was a tough read. Was it? You know what I'm saying? There was a lot of... That's right. I think I've read that. There was a lot of...

31:44Jase:It was a different time.

31:46Keyzie:It was a different time. Yeah. Because I've been flirting with it and I'm thinking, well, maybe I need some kind of theme to it. Right. You know what I mean? Filth. Well, there could be filth. It could be an erotic autobiography that people do those. Yes. You know what I mean?

32:03Jase:Only the stories of your sexual conquests.

32:06Keyzie:It has to have an angle. Because I'm not well known enough to warrant an autobiography, it has to have some kind of being at the bottom of the pit and then somehow re-emerging as a better, more whole person type thing.

32:20Jase:Sure. Well, that means you'll have to wait to write it for a few years.

32:23Keyzie:Yeah, well, there's that. But actually, it could be an erotic autobiography.

32:30Jase:No, you've said it right the first time, I think. auto-erotic.

32:34Mogey:That sounds great, man. Can I read a copy of your grandma's book, by the way?

32:38Keyzie:Yeah.

32:38Mogey:Do you still have that?

32:39Keyzie:I think we do somewhere in the house. Yeah, in the spare room.

32:41Mogey:What was the title? Was it like, My Disappointing Grandson? The Hauraki Big Show with Jace, Mike and Kesey. Tune in weekdays at 4 on Radio Hauraki.

32:51Keyzie:Radio Head there on the Radio Hauraki Big Show this Monday afternoon. The time is 5.39. Fellas, just before I get Gubby on, I just want to say, just forget about the fact that he changed the time on us today. I don't want to make a big deal about it. Yeah. Okay, because it was meant to be 4.30 in the season. I don't know who he thinks he is.

33:09Mogey:I think he's going to hear you. What do you mean? Are you there, Gubb? Fellas, I can hear everything.

33:16Keyzie:G'day, Gubby. Hey, big final last night, mate. I want to know the true answer to this. Did you watch it live? Were you a backbone, or did you get up at, like, 7 and watch it? Nah, dude. Getting up at 7's camp. I watched it live.

33:31Mogey:Yeah, nice. Charlie, that was for me the most exciting grand final I've seen in about a decade, not since the 2015 one. Are you of a similar mindset, man? Because it was just so high scoring and it was so close, whereas usually finals are really gritty affairs. Yeah, it was real good to watch. I was going for the Storm, but it was real two and three. Lots of momentum changes. Storm's right edge was cutting them up at the start. Then Broncos had all the balls. Storm couldn't get out of their own half. Yeah, Reece Walsh just came into his own. It was a great finish. I feel like Storm had multiple chances to get the win themselves, but they just didn't ice it.

34:18They'll be a bit cut, but Broncos, it pains me to say it, but they deserve to win.

34:22Jase:They certainly had a few opportunities there, didn't they? It took them a long while to get any kind of momentum in that second half, the Storm, who I don't think scored a point in the second half at all. But then when they had their chances, they really choked from players that you don't expect to panic in the big moment. Yeah, exactly. I don't know. I think there was three sets in a row they didn't get to their kick. They kept making errors down Warbrook's side. Even when Walsh was down there and Nick Meaney missed two regulation tackles on Shibasaki, which, you know, those are big moments in a grand final and you can't get those ones back.

35:01So, yeah, I don't know. I think they'll be a bit down today unless they're taking something to get them up, right? Totally, man, totally.

35:09Mogey:If you just joined us, we've got rugby league aficionado Charlie Gubb on the line. He calls himself Mr.

35:15Jase:Rugby League. Mr. Rugby League. He does.

35:17Mogey:Charlie Gubb on the line. Charlie, it pains me to say this because I think he's one of the most annoying people in the NRL, but over the past two months, Rhys Walsh, particularly last night, has been the best player in the NRL. He won that game for the Broncos. Yeah, he's won the last few games for the MA when it's come down to the wire in the last 15 minutes. Raiders, Penrith, now Storm. He's just in a bit of a class of his own, but hopefully he can experience some police brutality in the off-season. Totally, because that's the thing, right? There's players I don't like. Like, Jerome Luai, who used to play for the Panthers, I didn't like him, but...

35:58Mogey:And then you'd watch him play, and it wasn't really... He wasn't the one getting the wins. Usually it was Cleary or other players like that. Rhys Walsh, I don't like him, but holy cow, he single-handedly set up tries, scored tries. He is just straight up one of the best players in the world. It really pains me to say it. Do we have to stop hating him now? No, you can still hate him. I think that's what makes sports good, you know? Like, you cannot know someone, but still hate them. but also get a photo of them without letting them know, and if you know what I mean. Yeah, yeah, yeah. That's just the nature of the beast.

36:32When you want to play up, you've got to – I don't know how to finish that sentence.

36:37Keyzie:Gubby, you know, it occurred to me – speaking of Rhys Walsh, and I'm not going to go into it because Keezy told me off for being negative about rugby league. No. The shoulder into the head of the Melbourne Storm player by Walsh. And all the commentators are saying, you know, normally it's 10 minutes in the sin bin for that sort of thing, but it's a grand final, so let's not worry about it. Well, if that's how you're going to play the game, you know what I'd do if I was the Storm coach playing the Broncos? I'd go, Gubby, if you were in my side, Gubby, I'd go, Gubby, you're a filthy bastard. In the first five to ten minutes, I want you to rip Rhys Walsh's head off and get rid of him out of the game.

37:17Keyzie:And it's the final, mate, so they're not going to kick you off. What do you say? Yeah, I don't know. If it's coming from you, I'll probably do it already. Yeah, thanks, mate. From anyone else. But I agree with what you're saying. I think if, I mean, Trent Luero did the same similar tackle at the end day and he got 10 in the bin, so it is kind of who does it. You know, Nelson did it a few weeks ago. It was suspended for the grand final. So it's just one of those things we just don't know, right, Mogi?

37:45Jase:We just don't know, man. That's the thing about it. I'll put it to you like this, Gabby. We just don't know. And I'll put it to you like this, Mogi. at the end of the day it's been a great NRL season we haven't been able to tip many winners which is a good thing and the Broncos showed that you just have to get into the final and string some good games together because halfway through the season they were dog shit as well we were good and then the tables turned and we didn't the Warriors didn't put the games together but hoping we can next year next year's gonna be

38:15Mogey:our year Charlie and just ignore all that stuff Jase was saying about taking out Wies Rolsch he just gets wound up when he sees how good rugby league is as a product.

38:23Keyzie:I was pretty wound up at that stage. Speaking of getting wound up, Keezy started the music again. Gubbie, are you pissed? Yeah, I'm pissed off, but it's kind of just normal now. And you played that real depression song before I came on. Great. Thanks, Charlie. Gubbie, it's been a pleasure, mate. Thanks for your time this season. The Hauraki Beat Show with Jase, Mike and Keezy. Tune in weekdays at four on Radio Hauraki. Am I ready to run? The Radio Hodaiki Giga Little Fund is open. We will, we will fund you.

39:02Keyzie:How good, eh, fellas? That's right. One of the reasons I wanted to do radio was the idea of giving away cash. Oh, yeah.

39:09Mogey:Because you never do it in real life, right? You wanted to give away, like, someone else's cash. Yeah, someone else's money, not my money.

39:13Jase:Yeah, you've got a real thing about giving away your own money. Totally, man. I am a massive tight ass. Yeah. A miser.

39:20Keyzie:Totally. Luckily. I've got a room filled with gold coins that I just dive in every night.

39:27Mogey:Luckily, cheers to liquor. Super liquor. Cheers to that. Aren't tight asses. And they've given us over$10 ,000 to give away as part of the Giga Little Fund. You just have to ring up and tell us what gig you'd like to put that money towards. And you get$250.

39:41Keyzie:How good. G'day Mitch, you mad bastard. How's life?

39:44Mogey:G'day Flewlers. It's good. How about you fellas? Good question, Flewler. Yeah, good.

39:47Keyzie:Thank you, mate. Good, good, good. I'm pretty good, man. Good weekend there, Mitch? Yeah, a bit dusty today, eh?

39:56Jase:Have you got the old Monday-itis blues, man? Yeah, man. Love working on a Monday.

40:01Keyzie:Yeah, something like waking up with a case of the candies. Yeah, the sort of hangover, feeling nauseous and anxious. Hey, but listen, forget all that. What gig are you interested in going to, Mitch?

40:15Mogey:Metallica, man. Oh, Metallica, man. I've seen them live. Saw them live in 2009 or 10. Spark Arena. It was one of the best gigs of my life. It was no Billy Joel 2022. But Metallica goes hard, Mitch. Good choice, mate.

40:29Keyzie:Mate. With that in mind, we'll give you$250, all right, to go towards it.

40:34Mogey:Delusion. Just like that. Cheers to Super Liquor. Cheers to gigs. Cheers to that. Mitch, before you let me go, man, what do you do for a crust exactly? I'm an estimator, mate. Oh, backbite. Good on you, man.

40:48Keyzie:Good stuff. You enjoy that$250. We'll flick you over to Pugsarn on Studio B.

40:53Jase:Thanks, fellas.

40:54Keyzie:Good on you, babe. Estimator.

40:57Jase:You don't know about that?

40:59Keyzie:Property valuation?

41:00Jase:It's when you're doing your building and that sort of stuff. You get an estimator around. Okay. For your costings is my understanding there, Keezy.

41:08Mogey:Yeah, so if you want a valuer to come and tell you the exact value of your property, you get a valuer. But if you just want someone to sort of estimate it, you get an estimator around.

41:16Jase:Similarly, an estimator would be someone that puts an estimation on the cost of the materials to build a house.

41:21Keyzie:Yeah, I'll go with Mogi's explanation. That's funny because you watch all those programs where people build houses, Gizzi. You of all people should know what an estimator is.

41:31Mogey:I'm so sorry. I didn't know. Is that true? Is that actually what they are?

41:35Jase:I think so, yeah. I'm probably wrong, but that's what I think it is. Sounds right to me. Yeah, it sounds right.

41:39Keyzie:You know what I mean? I estimate it's going to cost you X, Y, and Z to get this done. Yeah, yeah, yeah.

41:43Jase:What do I know? It's an estimation. I don't know yeah I'm no value and then it comes through and then it's double

41:48Keyzie:yeah it's there or thereabouts hey now listen coming up after 6 o 'clock we give out some advice on Meat Patty Nips 69 and we need to set some rules yeah re-Fiji which is next week fellas

42:00Mogey:it is next Friday we're flying to Fiji can't wait for that and just with Meat Patty Nips 69 it is an email address alright so Meat Patty Nips 69 at gmail.com if you need advice on anything it's 100 % anonymous and you get a$50 re-burger voucher The Hodaki Big Show with Jace, Mike and Keezy. Tune in weekdays at four on Radio Hodaki.

42:21Keyzie:It is the biggest show. It's the big show. Brought to you by Reburger.

42:26Mogey:Serving good times and good food. Dine in or take away Reburger today. It's just the best Reburger I've ever had. Hey, come and try this. Come and try this. Have you heard this before? Oh my God. It's Reburger. What was it called? Oh my God. It's Reburger. Oh my God. Reburger. Yeah, Reburger. And fellas, last week at the end of the week there, we got sent one of the new masala chicken burgers. Oh. It was delicious.

42:55Keyzie:Was it? My one was, I was pretty sure, was a butter chicken one.

42:59Mogey:Yeah. Yeah. You had a butter chicken burger. I think it was called the Desi Dynamite Burger, which was similar but more spicy. Yeah. Absolutely.

43:08Jase:Some backbone ate mine, so that was cool.

43:11Mogey:To be fair, you just left yours there for ages.

43:13Jase:Well, I did, yeah, Yeah, but that doesn't mean it belongs to somebody else. I didn't know I had to put it under lock and key keys. I mean, I thought I could trust my workmates.

43:19Keyzie:Well, on that front, though, to be fair, I mean, there's such massive burgers. I chopped mine in half, as is my want, thinking I'll come back for the other half about midway through the show and I'd get out there and old two-fist mogie's shoving it in his gob.

43:32Mogey:Did you eat the other half of his burger?

43:33Jase:I just ate the chicken out of it because it was lying on the table. You know how Jase just leaves messes lying around all over the place? I just thought it was trash. And so I just thought, oh, I'll just eat his rubbish. Because you always eat it out of the trash. I do, yeah.

43:45Mogey:Yeah, especially if it's a re-burger. You should go check it out, though. My favourite was the two-piece masala fried chicken tenders. You can get those on top of chips with all the sauces and pickles on top as well. Amazing. Yeah, it was delicious.

43:58Keyzie:Hey, now, coming up, we're going to discuss our trip to Fiji, which is fast coming upon us, fellas.

44:03Mogey:Or fast approaching, you might say. Yeah, we don't know. Or coming upon us. The Hauraki Big Show with Jace, Mike, and Keezy. Tune in weekdays at 4 on Radio Hauraki.

44:13Keyzie:Smashing pumpkins here on the Radio Hodaki. Big show this Monday afternoon. Now, next Friday, of course, we're flying off to beautiful, hopefully sunny Fiji. Oh, God.

44:23Mogey:I'm sure it'll be good regardless. Yes. It's quite tropical there, though, so if it is raining, it'll only be for an hour or so. Yeah. And it'll be bloody hard rain. Yeah, watch out. And it'll still be hot and good as gold. It'll be steamy, fellas. Yeah, man. Very steamy.

44:35Keyzie:I wonder if, you know, I'm just thinking about getting there. Do we need a plan of action over the next two, you know, for the two or three days? so that we all are on board with what we're doing.

44:45Jase:What are you thinking there exactly?

44:47Mogey:Do you want us to, like, rules, guidelines? Because, you know, I like rules, right? Like, you know, I've got heaps of rules at my house. Yes. And that ensures just a positive operating environment at all times. Yes. My wife loves them. So I was thinking for this trip, one of the rules I would like to implement is, you know, if one of us is going somewhere or doing something, we all go. Yeah, we should have a buddy system.

45:11Jase:A buddy system. And it's like six buddies.

45:13Mogey:Well, that's the thing. It's like when you go to school, you've got a buddy. And, Jase, don't think that this is my way of trying to make you, force you to come on the snorkelling trip with us, which you desperately don't want to do. I just worry about you, like, getting lost or getting taken while we're over there.

45:26Keyzie:Like as a celebrity overseas.

45:28Mogey:Nah, just someone to mistake you for a little fella there and maybe try to kidnap you.

45:32Keyzie:Yeah, because I was going to suggest the idea of, you know, certainly we'll have our group outings and meetings.

45:39Jase:Meetings.

45:40Keyzie:I eat, you know, your golf and stuff like that. Meet up at the bar, have a few beersies. Responsibly, yeah. And then we just, you know, just do our own thing.

45:49Jase:Mogi? I feel like, you know, we're going over there together. This is a work do. This is a work thing, man. Totally. We've got to put on a United front. I mean, the sponsors are paying for us to be there, and they're going to want to see some pretty professional behaviour out of the entire team 100 % of the time.

46:08Keyzie:Absolutely.

46:08Jase:I'm for that. Yeah, but what I don't want, Jason, what concerns me is that you're going to play golf and then you're going to hide in your room for the rest of the time.

46:15Mogey:Yeah. That's my worry. He keeps talking about, oh, I'll be at the breakfast buffet. He'll get up at dawn, have breakfast, go to the golf course, into his room. Yes. Whereas I'm like, no, we need a buddy system. So I don't mind being your buddy, Jase. Sure. You know what I mean? So if you're in your room, that's fine, but I'll be there.

46:30Keyzie:Well, look, it's just that I don't know if you guys know this, but Fiji, for example, is known for its beautiful galleries and stuff. and I just want to soak up some of the culture while I'm there. And so while you fellas are trying to float in the water there and get your snozzers under the water, I might go and do another day trip or go and visit a village or something like that.

46:53Jase:You won't do that.

46:54Keyzie:You know, and spend some time with the locals. You definitely won't do that. What the hell are you going to do in a village? You know what I mean? What are you going to do in a village? And get a feel for island life.

47:03Jase:Yeah. Right. It feels like you're sneaking off to buy darts or something.

47:07Mogey:Yeah, and then just smoke them alone in your room.

47:09Keyzie:Well, this is the other thing. This is the other concern I have. Mogi and his darts. Now, I'm not smoking darts anymore, and I know Mogi bringing a carton of darts is going to be very, very difficult for Hoody J.

47:25Mogey:Luckily, the buddy system, I'll be there with you, so I'll be slapping them out of your hands.

47:29Keyzie:Yeah, but the worry that I have is you have a few beersies, and then you start sucking the bastards.

47:35Mogey:Yeah, it's pretty cool when I get on the date.

47:37Jase:But it doesn't count when you're over on holiday. Oh, does it?

47:40Mogey:No, no, no, no, no. Right, okay.

47:42Jase:Yeah, the clock doesn't restart. You're all good.

47:44Mogey:Yeah, and plus there's no clocks. It's island time. Oh, it's island time. Yeah, yeah, yeah.

47:48Jase:I tell my wife that.

47:49Mogey:Are you sure you don't want to come diving with us? Yeah, totes. Because we could really use your honker as a diving bell. You know what I mean? Because we could stay in there, and then you could submerge like 20 metres down, and there'd still be air within your honker, and me and mogi are in there.

48:04Jase:Yeah, we could build like a palace and then live there forever.

48:08Keyzie:I'd be interested in diving. Right. And snorkelling if I was able to grab some crayfish or something. Oh, right.

48:15Mogey:Okay, dear, we can organise that.

48:16Keyzie:Yeah, because why aren't you into it? I'm not good in the water. Oh, yeah, sure. Okay, well, that makes sense. The Hauraki Big Show, weekdays from four on Radio Hauraki. I took monkeys there on the Radio Hauraki Big Show this Monday evening. Now, fellas, the only thing I regretted about flying over to beautiful Vietnam was missing out on your guys' trip to the Wild Food Festival. Are you serious right now? I'm genuinely serious. I love that sort of stuff. Hokitika? Yes, Hokitika. You know, eating crazy stuff. The locals are always good bastards. Well, the good news is it's happening again.

48:54Mogey:It is, man. Mogi, you and I went down there along with old Pugs. Did you have a good time?

48:57Jase:I had a great time, man. Really wonderful, truly backbone individuals down there. Absolutely loved it. I can't say sort of more shining things about it. Every single person you talked to was wicked. Yeah, what a beautiful part of the country.

49:15Mogey:Yeah, and we did a live show on the Friday night from the local bar down there, which was great. Yeah, the punks did a yardie. It was all going. It was one of the biggest. You ate bulls? I ate the sheep's testicles and they were delicious they actually tasted disgusting and I felt horrific afterwards were they cooked? yes

49:36Keyzie:not what I heard they're pretty good

49:41Mogey:what raw balls?

49:43Jase:still on the vine

49:47Mogey:if you are keen next year we are going back to the Wild Foods Festival however we are doing it differently we are flying to Christchurch and then hopping on the trans-alpine train through the Alps to the beautiful west coast. That's how we're doing it. If you and a mate are keen to join us on this epic mission, head to hodaki.co.nz. This is all cheers to Hook a Ticker Wild Foods Festival. You can grab your tickets right now at wildfoods.co.nz. How good does that sound? Sounds great. So good.

50:11Keyzie:Is that next year?

50:12Mogey:Next year in March.

50:13Keyzie:Oh, that seems ages away.

50:15Mogey:Oh, Jase, you say that, but it'll be here before you know it.

50:17Jase:Yeah, but will I be? There's a lot of water to go under the bridge before then, Kesey. Are you going to die? The Hauraki Big Show with Jace, Mike and Kesey. Tune in weekdays at four on Radio Hauraki.

50:36Keyzie:Well, there you go, you mad bastards. That's the big show done and dusted. I'll be honest with you. We threw some punches today. Not all of them connected. That's Monday for you sometimes. Yeah. You know what I'm saying? I'm sure there were people out there in the workplace today that just didn't quite get it right.

50:51Mogey:Yeah. I was throwing haymakers all show and just hitting nothing.

50:55Keyzie:Just thin air.

50:56Mogey:Yeah, yeah, yeah.

50:57Keyzie:Hey, in the podcast outro today, wouldn't have a clue. What's the clip you got there, Keezy?

51:02Mogey:This is about water and wine and how you should always mix the two.

51:06Keyzie:You'd be having wine and then they'd have a glass of water. Yeah. And you'd go, what are you doing that for? And they'd go, oh, just I have a glass of water between every drink. Yeah, which is a great way to do it. Just f*** you f***ing. Well, it's not so much.

51:20Mogey:Yeah, real insight into hoity J's.

51:23Keyzie:That was basically me saying, that is fantastic. What a fantastic idea. Is that what the F's were? Yeah, yeah. I don't know why Pugs aren't actually beat those out.

51:32Mogey:Yeah, it's weird from Pugs. That podcast comes out at 7.30 tonight, by the way, and so does our highlights package of the show. So if you just tuned in now and you gutted you've missed it, it's available for you there.

51:43Keyzie:I wouldn't bother, to be honest. But, yeah, no, if you're that way and kind, go for it.

51:47Mogey:Why do you hate our show, J's?

51:48Keyzie:I love our show, but I'm just saying if you can't be arsed, I get it. It's Monday.

51:52Jase:Yeah, man. It's a best kept secret, I reckon. Yes. What, our show? Our show. Just like mum's the word, man. Don't tell anyone about it. You don't want a whole bunch of people listening to it because then they expect stuff from you. Like a quality show. Isn't that the whole business model? Like consistency. Oh, yeah. No, we can't tell you that.

52:10Keyzie:Hey, we do appreciate you listening. Make sure you check out the Instagram. Make sure you check out the podcast. I suppose we'll be back same time, same place tomorrow. Until then, see you.