FULL SHOW: The Emergency

12:04Jase:Easy to set up. Yeah, yeah. We'll take care of that. And when she's having a shower getting ready for the day, then you put the album on, she hears it from in the shower, then she comes out, oh, my God, what is this? Surprise, got your favourite album. And then we have sex. No, I mean, well, that's up to her. It's not your birthday. Right. You've literally forgotten everything. You certainly shouldn't be asking that. No. Right, okay. Hey, it's my favourite album. Can we have sex? What is her favourite album, by the way? Automatic for the People, man. Yeah, REM. REM, Automatic for the People. Now, where are we going for lunch?

12:36Well, to be honest, it's a good point. I think maybe something Vietnamese. Yeah. Because they went to Vietnam. Oh, yeah, yeah, yeah. And so maybe go and have a pho. A spicy pho.

12:51Keyzie:She loves a beef pho. Yeah, same, which is like a noodle soup. Yeah. From Vietnam there. And then, I don't know, what you want to do for them. Maybe while you're there, you could say, hey, why don't we plan a holiday for this year? Where do you want to go? and then maybe for dinner go to a restaurant that's that country. Maybe you want to go to Japan. What do you think, a mate of bloody money, Keezy? That's true. Well, you must be. It's tight-fisted. It's the only rational way I can figure out why she's with you.

13:20And then probably put it like a favourite movie. Favourite movie.

13:25Jase:Yeah, favourite movie. Yeah, what's her favourite movie? It's Four Weddings and a Funeral. Four Weddings and a Funeral. She loves the rain scene. Yeah, she does.

13:34Keyzie:And she loves the funeral scene. She actually hates that scene. Oh, does she? Yes. Oh, you're right. The Hauraki Big Show with Jace, Mike and Kesey. Tune in weekdays at 4 on Radio Hauraki. Smashing pumpkins there on the Radio Hauraki Big Show this Tuesday afternoon. The time is 4.38.

13:55Jase:5, 6, 7, 8. Men, men, men, men, men, men, men, men, men, men, men, men, men, men, men, men, men, men, men, men, men, men, men. Slow it down. Man, man, man, man, man, man.

14:05Keyzie:Woo, woo, woo, woo, woo, woo, woo. What are you, Moogies? Jeez.

14:11Jase:Jeez, Moogie came in hot there.

14:13Keyzie:Yeah, you really came in hot.

14:14Jase:Well, fellas, I'm fuming. Yes. You know, my daughter had her first parent teacher interview of the year. They don't muck around, do they? Straight into it. You want to know how they're tracking early doors so you can get them back on track. Seven A's? not bad not bad that's really really good and a B you're joking yeah yeah and social studies wow how old is she? six and a half doing social studies well no wonder that's really tough for some I found social studies the easiest actually anyway we're pulling out of a school it's just the thing about school is it's not for everyone and that's become clear I agree wait so you're pulling her out full stop yeah She can read enough.

15:00Jase:She'll be all good. And we'll just chuck her in the family business, being a top radio DJ. We're not from six. I mean, she's got to go and get a bit more life experience, you know? Can you imagine, Kesey, if she becomes the first syndicated top radio DJ at the age of six?

15:18Keyzie:I can. It's never been done before. No, and if anyone's going to do it, it's little moogie-manogie. Exactly.

15:24Jase:There's no such thing as can't.

15:25Keyzie:And I've always maintained school, my school. You know what I mean? It's like I've been a massively successful actor in my career. Did I go to acting school? No. Don't think so.

15:38Jase:Methinks not, Keezy. The only school old hoody jizz went to was the school of hard knocks. Thank you. And he was the principal. Really? Oh, yeah. Well, I just think Mogian, obviously, she's your daughter. Yes, that's true. And I can't comment. No. But I feel like pulling your six-year-old daughter out of school completely because she got a B in social studies. So she got A's in everything else, like science, maths. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Like, she's obviously very intelligent. Yes. I feel like you should leave her in there. But she's not applying herself, though. That's the thing.

16:12Keyzie:If you're going to go to school and just half-arse it... Thank you. You're wasting everyone's time. It's not just her time she's wasting. The teachers are getting their time wasted.

16:22Jase:I mean, I have to walk her to school.

16:23Keyzie:Oh, that takes me six, seven minutes a day. Excuse me. How much time do you bloody spend, Mogi, every single day buggering around with her lunchbox? Thank you. Yeah, but I just, she's still six, though.

16:36Jase:Top radio DJ, Keezy. No, I know. And once again, I agree with Jase, if anyone can do it, it's Mogi Minogi. Yes. But I feel like... Think of the content that a six-and-a-half-year-old would have. Well, it would be... Forgive me for saying this. I don't think it would be very good. because what's she done that's interesting?

16:55Keyzie:Easy on Keezy. Well, hang on. No, I'm not. Well, she's dropped out of school. She's dropped out of school at age six and a half.

17:01Jase:What have you done by the time you were six and a half? Couldn't catch your breath? Yeah, I guess not. I did have asthma. You're right. Yeah. She's not going to be on Hauraki, though.

17:17The Hauraki Big Show. Weekdays from four on Radio Hauraki.

17:21Keyzie:White Stripes there on the Radio Hodaki Big Show this Tuesday afternoon. The time is 11 minutes to 5 o 'clock. Let's talk TV. What's on the telly with Mike Minogue?

17:37Keyzie:Yes. Didn't watch any last night. How about you, Hoody J? I watched a news show, which I just stumbled upon. I mean, oh, this looks good, called DTF St. Louis. starring Jason Bateman, Linda Cardellini, is that her name? Yeah, Cardellini, yeah. Who Pugs has the absolute hots for. Anything on two legs is pretty key. He's shocking. Richard Jenkins, you know Richard Jenkins? Very good actor. Very good actor. He was the father in Step Brothers. Yes. Ah, yes. Now, it's basically the story of three adults experiencing middle-aged malaise that leads to one of them ending up... Having sex. Do you know what DTF means, fellas?

18:25Keyzie:I don't. What does it mean? It means down to F. Fight.

18:31Jase:Down to F, which comes from the show Jersey Shore back in the day. Oh, DTF. DTF. DTF. Yeah.

18:39Keyzie:I've got to say, fellas, I really enjoyed it. It's a very dark kind of comedy. Oh, great. Really good cast. And they're doing it week by week, which annoyed me because I got into it and was like, oh, this is good. But then it was like, oh, there's only one episode. That is crap house. But look, at this point, I'm going to give it a solid 3.9 buzzies. And what's it called? DTF St. Louis. And you watched it on? Neon, I believe it was. Right. Yeah. Jason, are you DTF? Always, man. Is that true, though? Like right now? Like right now. Maybe not specifically right now. Well. Oh, yeah. Okay. I don't want to know it's in that head of yours right now.

19:27Now, I haven't watched any new shows. Last night I watched another episode of Small Town Scandal on Neon, Tom Sainsbury's show.

19:33Jase:Oh, did you? Yeah, it's still great. It's still very, very, very entertaining. I like it. Highly recommend. But one thing I'm interested to watch, and I want to know if anyone else has watched it on 3483, is they've brought back one of my favourite sitcoms from when I was at high school, Scrubs, which is set in a hospital. Oh, they're not. They rebooted it. Well, it's the same cast. The exact same cast. They've built. I know, totally right. They're rebooting everything. But it's the exact same cast. They've rebuilt the set because it was actually filmed in an old hospital in California, which has been bowled over.

20:05They've rebuilt it.

20:06Jase:Did they shoot it in a hospital? Yeah, in a hospital. That's insane. Yeah, and that's been bowled now. That's gone, but they've rebuilt it perfectly. and it's all the original cast, you know, Dr. Cox, Turk, JD, and I loved that sitcom growing up. Yeah, very fun.

20:20Keyzie:It was a good show. We used to watch that too. A mate of mine watched the first episode and was like, oh God, here we go. And then halfway through it, he's like, hang on, this isn't bad. Because all the characters are doing all the stuff they used to do. Right. You know, I think it's on Disney, but I'm going to watch it. I'm going to check it out. See how you go, See how it go, man.

20:38Jase:Yeah. Okay, yeah. It's got Happy Gilmore 2 vibes about it, doesn't it? Yeah, yeah. Someone's texting 3483. It's crap. So, yeah. I won't be... I won't be... Just leave it.

20:48Keyzie:Yeah, let us know, man. I'll let you know. Yeah, let me know. But even when you let us know, I probably still won't watch it. But I mean... Yeah, okay, cool. Yeah, no. In the meantime, though, just crank this up. Yeah, but do, do. By all means, let us know. Okay, I'll have a look. Here's Led Zeppelin.

21:04The Hauraki Big Show with Jase, Mike and Keezy. Tune in weekdays at four on Radio Hauraki.

21:09Keyzie:Yeah, welcome back, Thank you, Massive Backbones. Hope you're surviving your Tuesday afternoon. You are listening to The Big Show, brought to you by Toledo's. From work days to workouts, Toledo's keeps you balanced, refreshed, and ready to go.

21:27Keyzie:Toledo at Toledo's. Oh, Toledo at Toledo. Yeah, like, Kesey, can you do that read again, please? I wasn't happy with that. No, because I've just quit out of the thing. Oh, it's gone now. Yeah. Well, the reason I'm quitting out of it is because someone actually text through Doledo or Toledo I think it was Sam Sam how do we feel about that Jase Doledo or Toledo

21:46Jase:maybe you could do it with one of your spicy accents nah not one of your spicy ones if you could just just a little bit of a special Hoody J's spice a little bit of extra sauce on it because he's heavy handed with it you know that just a dash a little dash of something maybe one of the northern sort of continents right okay

22:05Keyzie:I'll have a little think about that and I'll get back to I'll do a workshop on it overnight, see what I come up with in the morning. So you would rather workshop. You don't need to tell me to Toledo a Toledo. Nice. That's good. You'd rather workshop an accent than celebrate your wife's birthday. Well, she's going to rehearsal tonight. We were going out to dinner, but she said, oh, flag it. Flag it. Don't worry about it. I'll just go and do rehearsal, even though I said I wasn't going to turn up tonight.

22:32Jase:But last time she said that, you went outside to get yourself some noodles and you found her sobbing in her car. Yeah. Yeah. Surely not again, though. She must be.

22:44Keyzie:No, I think she's pretty much done and dusted now. You know when you reach that point where you're just, oh, here we are. Yeah. You know what I mean? There's an except that on that occasion, I think she still had hope. Yeah. Yeah. That's gone now. Yeah, that's well and truly gone. Do you know what would cheer her up, man? What's that? Toledo or Toledo. Toledo, yeah. Hey, coming up next, fellas, March Madness. Traffic increases by 41%. Don't ruin it, Keezy. Yeah, this is good stuff. Guys, are you going to take the piss out of my content? No, man. Have you got that Benny Hill music, by the way? It's faith no more.

23:20I'm not using it. The Hauraki Big Show with Jase, Mike and Keezy. Tune in weekdays at 4 on Radio Hauraki.

23:28Keyzie:Jimmy Yeat World there on the Radio Hauraki Big Show this Tuesday. afternoon. The time is 11 minutes past 5 o 'clock. I've been waiting for this. Yeah, here we go. Fellas, don't. Turn it up. Don't undermine. Turn it up. Hey, so March, right? I'm with you so

23:44Jase:far. Apparently, March has the worst traffic out of any month on the calendar. Is that true? That is true. Last year March had a 41 % increase on state highways and a 17 % increase on arterials. Now, can you tell me, is that month on month? Or you see what I'm saying? Because everyone's on holiday. And then, so March, 41 % increase, that sounds like a lot, but then does it stay consistent for the rest of the year? No, no, no, no, no, March. March is like a concentrated road. Right, okay, wow. Now, if you don't know what an arterial is, it's sort of a road that connects to a main road.

24:17Keyzie:Yes. Right, yes, yes. So there's the main state highway, then there's a big road. Slow down, Keezy, there'll be people out there who don't know what you're talking about. We're taking some notes here, just a main arterial. Well, no, don't take notes. Arterial. But what I thought we could do, fellas, is... Next to the motorway. Jase, you're not writing it down. Okay. You're holding your pen upside down. Okay. So what I thought we could do is just give some advice on things people can do while they're in their cars in traffic. Yes. Because people get mad, people get frustrated. Yes. And the important thing is to use that time effectively because you can use it to do other stuff.

24:50Keyzie:Yeah, that's a neat idea, Keezy. I think that's cool. Thanks, Jase. So, for example, doing stuff like maybe you've got to do a job later in the week or later that night or whatever it might be, doing that in your head while you're driving. You know what I mean? What about just getting like a Pornhub clip, you know, in your phone holder there and just have that on while you're driving home? Because then you'll have a rager, but not an angry rager. Not a road rager.

25:17Jase:Not a road rager. I mean, you'll have a rager on the road.

25:19Keyzie:You'll have a rager on the road? Thank you, Mogi, but not a road rage. That's a great idea.

25:24Jase:What about effing and jeffing? Winding down the window and effing and jeffing, beeping your horn and that. Well, I don't think that helps anyone. But it does, though. It gets it all out.

25:32Keyzie:Yeah, totally. I'll tell you what you could do. You could rent an apartment in the CBD and not drive anywhere anymore. That's a good idea.

25:40Jase:Yeah, yeah. I've just had another thought. Yes. What about having road rage with a road rager?

25:45Keyzie:The double whammy. Yeah. Waving one fist in the air at drivers and then your other hand's on the wheel.

25:55Look, these aren't ideas that I'd go with traditionally. Yes. I was thinking of stuff like, you know, you could put a podcast on, you know, maybe the Horaki Big Show. Yes.

26:05Keyzie:I used to like to eat like a bento box when I was driving home.

26:10Jase:Yeah.

26:10Keyzie:Do you need chopsticks for that? Yes.

26:12Jase:Like a six-inch sub or a 12-inch.

26:14Keyzie:Oh, yeah. I mean, if I'm going to do a sub, I'll do the full footlong. You couldn't handle a footlong. Yeah, I could be.

26:20Jase:I've seen him. Really? Yeah, I've seen him with a footlong in each hand. Absolutely loving it. And then I watched them Delito a Delito Fire out Must have been hungry But there's some great advice here fellas For example You know Practice slow breathing What? So like You know Breathe in Breathe out And just Keep yourself calm there Have some quiet time

26:47Keyzie:Did you ever used to do that Rapid breathing Moggy Where you'd huff and huff and huff and huff And then squeeze And then pass out And then pass out Don't do that when you're driving. Does it say to do that? Don't do that when you're driving. Oh, it doesn't do that? No, that's stupid. Right, okay. It doesn't do that, yeah. Yes. What's the most footlongs you've put away in one sitting, by the way?

27:08Keyzie:Four, I think. Holy, at once? Yeah. At once, yeah.

27:12Jase:That's four foot. That's as tall as hoity jizz. Do you stack those up on top of each other? That's bigger than a hoity jizz. If you put them on top of each other, bumper to bumper. Yes. Hard to do, though.

27:27Keyzie:Can we make this up? Can we do traffic track? The Hauraki Big Show. Weekdays from four on Radio Hauraki. System of a down there on the Radio Hauraki Big Show this Tuesday afternoon. The time is 5.22, and it's been a disastrous day for Hoody J. It's my wife's birthday today. Now, I did actually get her some presents, two presents. Yes. They just haven't arrived on time. This is following on from the debacle of our wedding anniversary, which happened in February. Did I get her anything? Did I remember? No. Yeah. Well, fortunately, the audience has come to the rescue, Jase, on 3483. And keep those texts coming in.

28:07Ideas for Horty J.

28:09Keyzie:To save my marriage. Yeah. Yet again. What about this one here? Get the lads to help you make a sexy photo book for her. So I don't know if that's a suggestion that we make a book of you being sexy. Maybe that's it. Oh, yeah, because we've got a little photography studio across the way there. I could get some sexy stuff on. You guys could click away.

28:32Jase:Is that her love language, though, Jase? Is it seeing you naked and acting sexy, or is her love language sort of being left alone? Or do you not know? Is it like a foreign language to you?

28:43Keyzie:That's a really good question, Moggy. I think her preference would be to be left alone. Yeah, I think so. What about photos of her just sort of sitting in a room on her own. Lots of different photos of that.

28:54Jase:What about just photos of for example an empty field just wide open spaces? Or what about we get a whole lot of photos of you and her and we photoshop you out of them so that way it's like she's got space. So that way she's got good memories and then next to it you take that photo out and it's better memory. Yeah, would that work? Remember these are just ideas, we're just spitballing.

29:15Keyzie:No, I'm liking it, I'm liking it. Someone here saying this calls for the big guns, get her a pack of darts. She used to like the darts too. How long ago? Many, many years ago. Not that many ago. She used to like you as well. Yeah, true. Take her to the Formula One Grand Prix this weekend in Aussie. That's from Jacob. She hates cars. Loves a little teeter though. But it's not cars, it's motor racing. Yeah, she doesn't like motor racing and neither do I. I'm not interested in that. But how would you know if she likes motor racing? You don't seem to know anything about her interests. Does she like motor racing?

29:49No, I know she doesn't. Oh, right, yeah, yeah. So, yeah, fortunately, it's fine. Great suggestion here. Jase, why don't you get your wife a Finchaser 535 centred console with all the bells and whistles and a Voyager trailer worth over 70 grand?

30:01Keyzie:Get seasick. Does she? Yeah, yeah. Right, okay. Text BOAT to 3483, by the way, if you want to win that. Why don't you – this is a good tactic from Mark. Why don't you say that the gift is so big and expensive that it counts as her Christmas present as well, but she has to wait until Christmas to open it? That's a good idea. I said something very similar. Do we know what these gifts are? Can we give that away? No, I'm not going to give it away because there's every possibility that she could be listening right now. Yeah, right, okay. You know what I mean? Well, this is a great text on 3483. Really easy, buy her an indoor plant.

30:36Problem solved.

30:38Keyzie:I'm liking that. So you can get her like a Monstera or a fiddle leaf fig. Yes. Or a rubber plant. Mother-in-law's tongue. Or mother-in-law. Sure. Is that a plant? Yes. Okay. Yeah, that could be good. They'd probably sell one of those at the Caltex or something like that, wouldn't they? Or like a little... Sativa. A little sativa? Nah, definitely go get the mother-in-law's tongue from the Caltex. That'll save your marriage. The Hauraki Big Show with Jace, Mike and Kesey. Tune in weekdays at four on Radio Hauraki. Red hot chilli peppers there on the Radio Hauraki Big Show. This Tuesday afternoon, the time is 5.35.

31:18Speaking of hot chili peppers, fellas, we're heading down to beautiful Hookaticka to the Wild Foods Festival again. It's happening Saturday the 14th of March. Don't forget if you want to head along to wildfoods.co.nz. Still some tickets available. Not too late. We'll see you there. But, Mogi, was there much spicy stuff there?

31:38Jase:I don't think so. I don't remember eating anything spicy. No, like nice spicy, normal levels of spicy, but there wasn't anything crazy out there, was there? No, no. No, there wasn't. I remember talking to one gentleman there. What was he offering? There was all sorts of things that we had needed. Actually, it might have been the local police officer, Jase. Right. Who we met. Now, we met him the night before when we were doing the live show, and he brought down a yard glass. For Pugson. Now, we didn't know that he was an officer of the law. He was just some backbone scumbag that came down and brought a yardie for Pugson to slay.

32:15Jase:Now, the next day we saw him and he was wearing a police uniform.

32:18Keyzie:Okay, yeah. That sounds about right.

32:21Jase:And, yeah, and it was that small town thing of she'll be right. You know, it's not super heavy with the red tape down those ways. But I do remember him saying something along the lines of eating eyeballs. Oh, that's what it was. Bulges. Nobody had had a shot of bulges. Bullsemen, yeah. Yeah, which he was offering up. So that could be on the menu this time around, Hoardy J. You'd be all over that, wouldn't you, Keezy? Well, no, I already ate sheep testicles, man. What do you mean I'd be all over that? Why just me? Why would you single me out? Well, the thing is, here's the problem, right? So we're going to go down there.

32:59Jase:We're going to do some kind of a live show at some point. Thursday, Christchurch. How good. That's happening at the Richmond Club Critic Bar. Now, whenever we're away, we do a locals' favourite. We do a throbber. and we do this robber and then the person that loses is some kind of, you know. Retribution. Yeah, that's right. No, we're not doing it because people think it's funny at a live show for me to lose this robber. They always do. The rules are the same for everyone, man.

33:27Keyzie:Totally, man. And they love it when I lose too, Keezy. Oh, they love it when I lose. Don't you get me wrong there. I'm so glad we waited for you to get that sentence together. Brain fart. Yeah, absolutely, we must do that. So what are you thinking there, Mogey, in terms of the jeopardy?

33:46Jase:Well, I think Keezy's got – I mean, whoever loses will have to drink bull semen. Now, apparently it's a delicacy. It's a real treat. That's what they say about stuff that is disgusting. It's like when they describe someone as harmless. It's like, oh, he's harmless. It's like, no, that means he's bad. Yeah, he's a pain in the ass. It's a delicacy means it is bad as well. It's disgusting. So, no, I'm not drinking bull semen for picking an awesome song and then the audience intentionally not voting for it.

34:12Keyzie:Tell me, how were the balls you had when you were down there? Why have you got a big grin on your face? It was disgusting, obviously. Was it? Yeah. What did it taste like? Tasted, actually, I reckon you'd like it. Yeah, you'd love it. Sort of meaty and tender-y? You know the taste. You know the taste. You know it well. Richmond Club, Critic Bar, Thursday the 12th in Christchurch. That's where we'll be if you want to come to the live show. And then on the Friday, we ride the Transalpine Train across to Hukatika. Then on the Saturday there, we will be at the Wild Foods Festival. Sculling bull semen.

34:47Keyzie:No, not. Wildfoods.co.nz. We'll see you there. France Verdon, man. The Hauraki Big Show. Weekdays from four on Radio Hauraki. Queens of the Stone Age there on the Radio Hauraki Big Show this Tuesday evening. The time is 5.54 now.

35:06Jase:Yeah.

35:06Keyzie:Plenty coming up after 6 o 'clock, including What's On The Dinner With Me, Keezy. So text through on 3483 what you're having for dinner tonight, what your name is, and we'll get stuck into those after 6.

35:19Jase:And just in case people are confused, it's also known as What's On The Tea With Me, Dinner, or What's On The Dinner With Me, Tea. Yeah, thanks for clearing that up. It was so confusing otherwise, Mogey. Yeah. But yeah, 3483, What's For Dinner, Where Are You, and What's Your Name?

35:35Keyzie:You're having pork mince again, eh, Keezy? I wish you were joking, but yes, I'm having leftover pork mince.

35:43The Hauraki Big Show with Jase, Mike and Keezy. Tune in weekdays at four on Radio Hauraki.

35:49Keyzie:You're welcome back, you massive backbones. You are listening to The Big Show and it's brought to you by Toledo's. Rehydrate the right way with Toledo's. Real ingredients in natural colours.

36:00Jase:Toledo, a Toledo. I think that's it. Do you? Oh, it's going off. We've got so many texts here on 3483. Where? I can't see them. G'day, fellas. Charlie here. I'm eating snot for dinner. Can you, sorry, can you not read out what's for dinner texts before the segment started? We've got that many there, Keezy. We're not going to get through all of them.

36:19Keyzie:Just on that, by the way, keep the texts coming for what's on the dinner with me, Keezy. 3483, let us know. We've also been given, because we've got a brand new sponsor, Toledo's, which is a delicious electrolyte drink, natural. and they have given us, we're still in the works of figuring out prizes and things. Yes. But we've been given the good word that we have 500 pesos to give away.

36:40Jase:Yeah, 500 pesos. AKA 500, AKA 50 New Zealand, sorry, Mogi's waving around a t-shirt. It's very disturbing. It's a Toledo's t-shirt. It is, yeah, yeah, yeah. That's sick. But they've got$50 Toledo's prize packs which involves 500 pesos, AKA 50 New Zealand dollars. How good. So we might give away the very first one tonight with what's on the dinner with me, Kesey. So every text on 3483 in the drawer.

37:03Keyzie:Would we do that with like$5 bills or? 500 pesos. What would it literally be? What's the connection with the pesos? I don't know, Mexican currency.

37:11Jase:Nice. I don't know. Toledo at Toledo.

37:17Keyzie:What are you having for dinner, Moggy?

37:20Jase:It's always a mystery, man. You don't know? I've got no idea. But I know that the wife there, she's working pretty hard at home. So I'll probably go home and make the dinner for the family. That's the kind of guy I am.

37:30Keyzie:Yeah. Well, I was going to go out to dinner with my wife, but she cancelled on me because she's not very happy, and so she's going to her play rehearsal instead. So it'll be the old dumplings for hoity juice. Are you having dumplings? Yeah, man. How many are you going to have? Five. Pathetic. Tomorrow's dumpling day for me there. But don't forget, 3483. Text through what you are having for dinner, and you could win our first ever 500 peso Toledo prize pack, a.k.a. $50. Great stuff, Kesey. In the meantime, here's the black keys. The Hauraki Big Show, weekdays from four on Radio Hauraki. Nirvana there on the Radio Hauraki Big Show this Tuesday evening, the time being 11 minutes past 6 o 'clock, which by my reckoning means it's time for...

38:20Hey, guys, text here from Steve.

38:24Keyzie:What's on the tea with me? Dinner.

38:30We've got to get rid of that. I hate it so much.

38:33Keyzie:It's my favourite thing about doing the big show. You say that about everything. I actually thought that was you putting that in there, Kesey. No, Pugs won't change it back.

38:44Jase:Yeah. Well, it's too late now. People are getting used to it. We're all just confused then. But the issue is, now that we've got different sponsors, we're still figuring out what the prizes are, don't even know what the segment's called. It's just a shambles. I know what it's called. What is it? It's What's on the T with me dinner. But then before you were like coming up next. With me, Keezy. It's not What's on the T with me dinner with me, Keezy. That's good. No, it's not.

39:06Keyzie:That's really good. But what are people eating tonight, Keezy? Things are sounding tasty around New Zealand, fellas, on 3483. Jackson. Pollock. Oh, nice.

39:18Jase:Ford. Michael. Jackson Michael. Hang on. I'm having some raw fish and coconut cream and some chop suey, all made by my BEAUtiful wife. Nice. That sounds yummy. Yeah, it does sound yummy.

39:34Keyzie:I like a bit of raw fish action. A bit of coconut cream, a bit of lime juice, a bit of cracked pepper, a bit of lemon zest, a bit of cucumber, a bit of fresh chilli, some coriander, douche, douche, douche, some salt. Beautiful. What was the other bit? Chop suey. What is a chop suey? Is that like a noodley? Did you just shrug? It's a noodley thing, isn't it?

40:00Jase:It feels like a, it was very common back in the day, chop suey. Yes. In the 80s. Yes. Like leftovers? It was one of the first, ooh, I like that. Did you turn leftovers into chop suey? No, it's a specific dish. Chinese dish? Yes. I think it was one of the first ones to break through in New Zealand. Yes. We'll have a look into that. We'll let you know tomorrow out there in New Zealand. We'll give you an update. You don't need 24 hours. What's on the dinner with me, T?

40:23Keyzie:I'm pretty certain that it's a noodle-type arrangement. Once again, we're going to need 24 hours to look at it. We won't know. There's no way to know. We'll have to write to our people. Actually, hang on. Siri, can you remind me at 8.45 tonight to investigate what is chop suey? Rather than what is chop suey. You're getting a reminder to look into it. Yeah, okay. That sounds delicious, Jackson. and g'day there, fellas. Dion here. Nash. You know it. Celine. Celine Dion. Just walked in the door and was greeted by the beautiful smell of a chicken and chorizo pasta bake cooking away in the oven. Score.

41:06Jase:That is a score. Yeah. Comfort food. Yeah, that's real good. Especially now that we're in the depths of winter.

41:12Keyzie:And I've discovered this great chorizo and it's really oily and spicy. So when you cook it, all the oil seeps out and creates this sort of red sea type environment. Is that a cheese sizzler? Yeah, it's got cheese in it. Is it a cheese sizzler? No. Did you guys used to like those? They were all the rage. Delish. The cheese sizzlers for a while.

41:32Jase:When I was broke, yes, they were a treat, man. G'day, fellas. Jono here. Gibbs. Actually, that's what the text says. Oh. My wife kicked me out after the Chiefs got demolished in the weekend. Bachelor's handbag and coleslaw buns for me, guys. That's nothing wrong with that. I love it. So good. With the rolls?

41:52Keyzie:Did he say the rolls? Yeah. Yeah, man. No, look, I wouldn't even bother with the coleslaw. No. Just bang the chicken in there in a nice white, fresh roll. A bit of squirt of mayo, maybe. A lot of butter. Cracked pepper, some butter.

42:05Jase:Yeah, a little bit of chopped suey. A bit of chopped suey. A little bit of raw fish. In the bun. That's not how you have it, is it? Because I usually just have it with salt and pepper and butter. The Hauraki Big Show with Jace, Mike and Keezy. Tune in weekdays at four on Radio Hauraki.

42:25Keyzie:Yes, indeed. Blur there on the Radio Hauraki Big Show this Tuesday evening. The time is 21 minutes past six o 'clock. Fellas, Radio Hauraki is once again proud to partner the New Zealand International Comedy Festival. And to celebrate, we've got a trip to see the Best Foods Comedy Gala. It's a giveaway for you and a mate, plus flights and a night at Sky City, all inclusive. Man. That is happening Friday the 1st of May. If you are keen to enter that competition and win, head to hodaki.co.nz. How good. So good. Speaking of good, time to chat footy with me, Keezy. What are the Warriors up to? Oh, it's good to be back.

43:10Keyzie:Yeah, guys don't mind if I pop out for this, do you? No, all good, man. Yeah, you can do whatever you want, man. I don't care because the Waz are back. They're playing this Friday. Mount Smart Stadium, a.k.a. Compassionate Grounds. We're taking on the Roosters, who are a hell of a team. They've had a massive off-season signing. Daly Cherry Evans is going to be partnering Sam Walker in the half. So they're very much a team, and they always are, a team that could be in the top four, potentially even win the thing.

43:35Jase:That's right, they are, but they tend to be 10th or 12th. You know what I mean? They just haven't been – they've had a great team. A lot of injuries and stuff. South, yeah, they just don't seem to fire. I'm hoping because we're getting them early that we're going to win. Yeah, yeah, yeah. That's my hope. So the first official Warriors team list for the entire year came out 22 minutes ago. It was team list Tuesday, Jase. 6 p.m. on a Tuesday. All the team lists come out. It's very exciting. The Warriors team is looking pretty damn good. Chance, Nicol Kluxstar at fullback. You've got Dallin on one wing.

44:07Roger Tuivasa-Shek on the other. Yes. In the centres, Adam Pompey, And making his return since like round 12 or something last season, Ali Leataua, who is a barnstorming young centre. He's a tri-scoring machine, but injuries last year stopped him,

44:23Jase:which is a bit of a shame. Yeah, and a few defensive frailties, but he'll only get better in the top team, and I'm hoping he manages to stay fit. Absolutely. People thought that Lekahalasima might be starting at centre, but no, he's off the interchange. You've got Chanel Harris-Tavita and Tanner Boyd in the halves. This is where we're going to struggle, Mogi, generating points because obviously Lukey Mikiafu or Luke Metcalfe, he's our preferred halfback starting option. Also the experience of Tamayde Martin. So seeing if Tanner and Chanel Harris-Tavita can actually generate some points, it's got to be interesting.

44:52Yes. The Ford pack, though, it rules. James Fisher-Harris at prop. Him and Jackson Ford. You've got Wade Egan there at hooker. Kurt Capewell in the back row, the experienced Kurt Capewell, paired with Jacob Laban. Yes. Young fella. You know, his family is bloody sporting royalty, the Labans. And Jacob is starting in the number 12 jersey. And, of course, Aaron Clark, jersey 13. Our Ford pack looks awesome. Our back line looks pretty damn awesome as well. It's just going to be the halves and whether they can get some stuff happening.

45:20Jase:That's right. Lea Toa, some question marks over him as well. But also question marks over what the starting line-up will actually be. Because, as we know, Webby very rarely puts out a team that takes the field. There's plenty of stuff that could happen. When you look at the bench, which is extended now, hasn't it? It's increased to a six-person bench. Is it six? Yeah, but they can still use the same amount of interchanges. It's just so they have the option of, let's say, a utility player if a back goes down or something. Yeah, so Taintoa Opeki is in there. I'd love to see him coming at 5 '8", to be honest with you.

45:52Jase:Really? 5 '8"? I would, and Lekka's there as well, who might come in at centre, might be in back row. But, yeah, I like the idea of him coming in later when everyone else is a little bit tired, eh? Yeah, sure. And Cam Pereira as well. Our speedster is in the 21 jersey too. He's recovering. It'll be interesting to see how he goes. From a concussion. Oh, is he? Yeah, yeah, yeah. Did he get knocked? Did he get stepped out? Yeah, yeah, yeah. He got stepped out. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Outside of pack and save. Chase, what are your thoughts on Morgan Gannon? Sorry, what?

46:24Keyzie:Are you guys still talking league, are you? Chase, you've got to pick. Are you all in on the Warriors like you pretend to be or are you pretending to zone out? It varies from week to week. Mate, the Warriors pump through the veins of Hoidi J. Okay, who's going to win?

46:42Jase:What's your prediction for Friday night? Warriors. Yeah. Absolutely they are. Who's going to lose?

46:46Keyzie:The other team. The Roosters. I knew it. I knew you missed that. It's Puddle of Mud. The Hauraki Big Show. Weekdays from four on Radio Hauraki.

47:03Keyzie:Well, there you go, you mad bastards. That's a big show done and dusted for your Tuesday evening. What's the podcast outro clip today, Keezy? All it says is special, so I don't know anything else about it. Okay, let's play it and find out. Because I was going to be a comedian there for a bit, fellas.

47:23Jase:Imagine that. You could have had writers and everything. Yeah, yeah. We could write you gags, Keezy. You could write me gags. Yeah, I'd f***ing hate to know. You'd be gagging. That's actually a good name for your first stand-up special. Gagging. Oh, Keezy, gagging. Thanks, fellas. I like it.

47:40Keyzie:Great stuff. Mogi off home, bit of work, bit of food, then nine eyes.

47:46Jase:Yeah, I'd like to do a little bit of work in front of the telly, but I get more done not in front of the telly, if I'm honest with you. Been hammering away on the old come dine with me. Just learning a few ins and outs for our come dine with me special that we've got coming up, fellas. We have to work out when we're doing that. Just on that, is a 6 out of 10 on Come Dying With Me, is that a pretty standard rating? No. No.

48:08Keyzie:It has to be pretty bad. Mogi, I watched that last night. It just happened to be on. And it was an absolute shambles. Was it? One of them, the guy that was hosting it kicked the woman out. Right. He just went, no, I'm not having it. I'm done with you. I'm done with you. You need to get out. Really? And he had it in his caravan. was as worried as having the meal, and he literally kicked her out, and then it all fell apart. Is that right? Yeah.

48:34Jase:And she still gave him a seven.

48:36Keyzie:She actually ended up winning all the cash. What is it, 1 ,000 pounds? Yeah, yeah.

48:41Jase:Was it four people in it or five? Four. It's always four. Yes. I think I've got a false memory. Keezy, some leftover pork and stir fry.

48:51Keyzie:Yeah. And then maybe go for a walk with my wife if it's not freezing.

48:56Jase:That's the thing, fellas. Those are gone. Yeah, I think so. Those evening strolls.

49:00Keyzie:I think so, man. Well, I just had to go into Studio B in Nikaharaki, Swanjoy. Yeah. Because I nearly froze to death walking home last night, fellas. I was found underneath a bridge. Totally. There are no bridges between here and your house. There's plenty, Keezy. No, there's not. You just need to know where to look, man. All right, just quickly, Jase, what are you doing tonight? Well, of course, it's my wife's birthday, so. So, F4? Yeah, probably just take it easy Go to bed early Get a good night's kept Nice See you tomorrow by the way Bye