FULL SHOW: The Engelbert Review

10:58There's also this one here, though, Keezy. Mogey kind of looking like Butthead over there, or am I tripping? Who's Butthead? You know Butthead, he's like the ugly version of Beavis.

11:09Keyzie:Oh, yeah. Fellas, just on the selfie scenario. I mean, do I need to get someone else to take the selfie? No, no, absolutely not.

11:17Mike Minogue:You're nailing it. People are stoked. Like this one here. Keezy looks like the little bloke from Fantasy Island. I've just Googled who that is.

11:26Keyzie:The plan, the plan.

11:27Mike Minogue:I've just Googled who that is. That is not what I look like. So many massive honkers. Good question here. Yes, but did Keezy's wife like it? She did. She loved everything about it. Yeah, yeah, yeah. She had an excellent night last night.

11:41Keyzie:That's not what she told me when she rang when I got home. Well, the only thing that she was a bit sad about, Kesey, what she told me about, was she went down a sort of a rabbit hole of thinking about all of the partners, all the people that were there who had probably bonded over Inglebert Humperdinck's music with their significant other. But given their ages, most of their original partners will be long dead and buried.

12:03Mike Minogue:Well, not long, but my wife got quite sad because she was like, Oh, it makes me feel sad that these people, you know, they'll be thinking about their partners and they're gone now. Yeah, yeah. But then some of the comments didn't even make sense, like this one here. Even blurry and at 20 yards, Keezy's ears look wildly on the piss. How that man can walk in a straight line even sober is a miracle. Well, what they don't know, Keezy, is that your testicles are also on the piss. Don't start at Keezy's. They balance it out. Yeah. That's what they don't know. The Hauraki Big Show with Jace, Mike and Keezy.

12:43Mike Minogue:Tune in weekdays at four on Radio Hauraki. Yes, indeed.

12:46Keyzie:Everclear there on the Radio Hauraki Big Show this Wednesday afternoon. The time is 37 minutes past four o 'clock. Fellas, I don't know if you realise this. It's the 1st of July.

13:00Mike Minogue:Crazy. Where's the year gone? Am I right? It is the 1st of July, which means we're over the halfway point of 2026, which is crazy. Wow. Madness. It also means that the best month of the year is officially upon us, Beer and Pie July. It has been going for, I believe, is it almost 10 years? It might even be 10 years now. I think it's 10 years. Yeah, I think 10 years. Sounds about 10 years. Which is crazy. It was our response to Beer and Pie R2 Dry July, where everyone sort of gets off the booze for a month. We were like, well, you could go and support local. Go to your local bakeries. Go to your local breweries and pubs and things and get a classic Kiwi combo of a beer and a pie.

13:39Mike Minogue:This year, we've got$20 ,000 to give away. How good? If you are listening to Radio Hoda. Sorry, how much? $20 ,000. Whoa. That is one. That's a lot of money, man. Imagine winning$20 ,000. Gee whiz. So I can win$20 ,000. How good? Yeah, that is so good. First of all, you can't because you work here. I don't mean me, but me, you know. Yeah, yeah, yeah. One of the good backbones out there. One of the good backbones, yeah, that's what we call them. There's bad backbones, Keezy. I know, I've met a few of them. But all you have to do is listen out for this.

14:13Mike Minogue:Call 0800-HORAKI and you could grab yourself a slice of the Dad's Pies Lute. And people, of course, are calling straight away. That was just me showing you what to listen out for. Right, okay. People love 20 grand, eh? Everyone calling right now, hang up, all right? You're not getting anything, all right? Hayden, hang up. Willie, hang up. Willie, hang up. Hang up, man. You can't win. Nah, give us a dollar. Nah. Hang up, Willie. Maybe later on, Willie. Hang up, Willie. Hey, Hayden, are you there, man? Hayden, hang up. Hang up. Hang up, Hayden. Oh, don't be like that. Hang up.

14:45Keyzie:Hang up, Hayden. Hang up, now.

14:48Mike Minogue:All right, I'll hang up. All right, good on you, Hayden. What about you, Hayden? What about you, Hayden? Hayden? Hayden.

14:53Keyzie:Oh, that. He didn't vote for my thromber. He let me down. Get off the line, Hayden. Oh.

14:59Mike Minogue:Yeah, good on you, mate. He's been a pirate. Hauraki, who's this? He was being a pirate. Very good. Who is this? My name's Cleo. Cleo, how are you? Good, how are you? Get off the line, Cleo. Hang up, Cleo. It was a training run, all right? Have a lovely day. Bye. Okay, good. That's good. I think they got the message.

15:20Keyzie:So people ring up, and then what happens, Keezy? We yell at them. Yeah, we scream at them.

15:24Mike Minogue:Good, yeah. And then later in the show, when that plays again, people call through and if you manage to get through $250 cash. So it's not one big 20 grand payment. We're divvying it up and dishing it out to all the great New Zealanders out there. Yeah well that makes sense. What does that cue to call sound like again? No I'm not doing it because people will ring up again. But your best bet is to keep it locked on Hodaki as soon as you hear that cue to call 0800 Hodaki is the number and it's brought to you by Dad's Pies who proudly bake award winning pies for pie loving New Zealand.

15:55Keyzie:Does that mean though, can I just ask the question because I love Bear and Pie July. Who doesn't? Does that mean we're going to have pies all month? Oh, yeah. Just floating around that we can put in the old... Because the way that it used to it was every time you come into it, there's a bear and a pie waiting for you. So where is it?

16:10Mike Minogue:Don't look at me. Well, there's bears out there. No, we are going to have pies. Don't you worry about that. Yeah, okay. All right, fellas? Yeah, good, man. I actually don't know. Do you like Jimmy Eat World? Yeah, man. Or Jimmy Eat Pie? Boo! There it is!

16:26Keyzie:Come on now!

16:27Mike Minogue:The Hauraki Big Show, weekdays from four on Radio Hauraki.

16:32Keyzie:David Bowie there on the Radio Hauraki Big Show this Wednesday afternoon. The time is 4.47. Normally in this slot we do what's on the TV with Mike Minogue, but we're going to do something a little bit different this time. It's going to be our appraisal, our marking of the Engelbert Humperdinck concert.

16:52Mike Minogue:From last night. From last night.

16:54Keyzie:Oh, dance, dance, dance to my tan guitar.

16:59Mike Minogue:But we will use the What's On Tally with Mike Minogue rating system of five buzzies. Yeah. Okay. Who would like to go first? Well, I'll go first. Look, it was great to get out there, Keezy, to be a part of something you're so passionate about. I don't see that from you very often. But you absolutely loved it. Got us out for dinner, which has been a long time in the making. Absolutely loved it. Got dressed up. Yes, that's fun. Got dressed up. Pugs Arm wore a comedy tie. You wore your funny boots, Jase. It was good. I had a turtleneck. It was great. You had your turtleneck on. And, yeah, I guess what was interesting for me, we got into our seats.

17:35Then the concert started. And what I was really fascinated by, and what I hate, actually, was people using their phones all the time. So pretty much the entire audience had their phones out, and were recording not a moment or two of the show, but the show in its entirety. Yes. The only thing I could think of was that they're recording it for people that couldn't make it out of the house. It's slightly distracting, but it didn't make me enjoy the show any less, I promise you that.

18:02Mike Minogue:Yeah, so picture a lot of people over the age of like 70, 80 with their phones up in the air that are part of a phone wallet. So one side had the flap open. There were quite a few iPads out there. There were a lot of iPads. And they were all at full brightness. I've never seen that before. Half of them had their flash on. So it was a full boomer operation. I loved it. It really was. Then I had an experience where a woman behind me felt the urge to lean forward. And I wouldn't say scream abuse at me, but she said, if you keep moving around, I can't see. Oh, I didn't realise that. Do you want to know what I was doing?

18:38I was turning and speaking to my wife on my left-hand side. So I wasn't standing up, I wasn't doing anything like that. And now what I worked out was She was holding her camera down at around about Well I'd say breast height But slightly higher than that And because it was at that height She couldn't see through my head Now if she'd just put her phone down and used her eyes She would have been fine So I was fuming about that Yeah no fair enough too mate That's not Inglebert's fault Not at all but it's the experience of the evening keys You know when you get abused by an 82 year old You know it sticks with you Now there was this song that was playing at one point

19:18This is about Inglebert's wife who passed away Listen to those lyrics, Kesey

19:22Keyzie:And obviously he's a bit older now, old Inglebert 19 And you could really feel the emotion in his voice And as it was playing, or as he was singing that And the audience was really feeling it My wife leaned over to me and said Is he wearing a nappy? And I think he was But half of the audience Were too You know

19:49Mike Minogue:Right so right in the middle When he explained How it's hard to perform This song Because he wrote it For his wife Who passed away Not long ago That's right She was worried About his nappy Well it's at that point Because he turned Sort of turned around And he had Huge arse on him Right It was pretty buddy It was a massive arse For an old man like that You don't normally See a white arse On an old man and it's normally low. Which is why I thought of Kesey in his 40s. Okay, thanks. So he had that Inglebert dumper on him. Now, let me say, every old woman there, the target audience, absolutely loved that concert last night.

20:26The people that it was for that had grown up with Inglebert, they were five buzzies out of five buzzies, and you can't fault them for that.

20:32Mike Minogue:Yeah, what was your rating? Look, let's just everyone give their thoughts, and then we'll do our buzzies. Well, you've done four minutes on your thoughts.

20:40Keyzie:Oh, wow. Funnily enough, I had a very similar incident where there was a woman behind me when the gig started. And she was probably in her 80s as well, Moggy. And she leant down and she whispered in my ear, those are very sexy boots. Okay, so we're just lying now? Is that what we're doing? And then my wife heard that and said, excuse me, he's taken. And there was a bit of a stout. This is not an opportunity for a gag about your shitty boots, all right? Okay. Look, are we giving scores now? Yeah, sure. As a musical spectacle, one out of five. As an experience with the fellas and seeing a great man.

21:31Keyzie:I loved his old school. He was so old school and I loved seeing all his tricks. I'll give it 4.5 buzies Yeah I give it I'm similar His voice was shot to bits Yes And it sort of reminded you Of your own mortality I guess in many ways So more than a celebration of music It was sort of a reminder That one day you're going to die Yes Right Which is a pity Because I don't want to But it just reminded me about that For an hour and a half Now that said I didn't enjoy it But that said It's not my kind of music Right But that said You enjoyed it That's a lot of stuff said How many pussies? Oh, one But for the whole night, four and a half as well I thoroughly enjoyed our company and being there and everything It was just after about ten minutes I thought Right

22:18Mike Minogue:Yeah, okay Wrap it up Wrap it up After ten minutes I would genuinely say, right As a spectacle He can't sing very well anymore He's on the back of a tour so his voice was going a wee bit. The band was great, blah, blah, blah. Company was awesome. But I will say to be in a room singing with Inglebert Humperdinck to Inglebert Humperdinck that my family has done for decades and decades. Like my Nana loved him. My Pop loved him. My parents loved him. We always listened to them whenever we were all together. A lot of happiness. Five buzzies out of five for me. 100%. Yeah, man.

22:56Keyzie:Can't fault that.

22:57Mike Minogue:Singing wise, not very good. Not very good. But I absolutely adored every single second of it. Yeah, there you go. Great stuff. And it made me very happy. Right. Yeah. That's what it's all about.

23:07Keyzie:Here's the Arctic Monkeys.

23:13Mike Minogue:The Hauraki Big Show with Jace, Mike and Keezy. Tune in weekdays at four on Radio Hauraki.

23:19Keyzie:Welcome back, you massive backbones. Hope your Wednesday is absolutely going off. You're listening to The Big Show, incidentally, brought to you by Reburger.

23:27Mike Minogue:Serving good times and good food. Dine in or take away Reburger today.

23:32Keyzie:Reburger.

23:40Keyzie:Seriously now. What's up? My wife's going to a play tonight. It's a bachelor night. Oh, you're not going to that? No, well, I can't. Timings. Oh. So it's a bachelor night. Bachelor night. Hot, hot. Nah. Nah, I'm thinking re-bu-ing-u. You're going to go to re-bu-ing? Yeah, you might be thinking it. Yeah. But you won't be doing it. Um, so why not? I say. Fjell's. Why? Why? Yeah, because it's yum.

24:09Mike Minogue:No, I know why you'd eat Reburguer, but why do you insist on pretending to go to Reburguer? I don't understand. You don't have to pretend you're eating it three times a week, man. You just have to eat it three times a week.

24:18Keyzie:I don't know why you guys insist on thinking that I'm pretending I'm eating Reburguer. Because I talked to your wife last night when we went out for dinner. God, she's a lovely woman. She is, eh? She's a saint. She'd have to be. A martyr. Yes. And she said you're lying through your teeth about it. Did she? Again. And she said you're back on the darts. Oh, bullshit. Funny you should say that, actually, Kesey, because on my way to work today when I came out into the pavement, got the biggest waft of tobacco smoke, which I haven't smelled for ages, I was realising. Was it coming off your cigarette?

24:52Keyzie:No, it wasn't. And I just went, oh, God. Wasn't that guy out front of your door again? No, it wasn't that. He'd gone. Right, okay. He left. But it just went, oh, jeez, that's right. Good times. Good times. So re-burger tonight? I think so. Yeah, okay, cool. Hey, speaking of food, we're going to be chatting come dine with me in the next break.

25:14Mike Minogue:Also speaking of food, here's the red hot chilli peppers. The Hauraki Big Show with Jace, Mike and Kesey. Tune in weekdays at four on Radio Hauraki.

25:23Keyzie:Liam Gallagher there on the Radio Hauraki Big Show this Wednesday evening. The time is 12 minutes past 5 o 'clock, and I was reflecting, actually, this morning, fellas, how much fun it is when we go out to dinner together as the fellas and all our partners, which brought to mind, of course, we've got to get it back on the agenda, Quicksmart, our Come Dine With Me experience, where all of us, each member of the big show, hosts a dinner party. Play the Come Dine With Me, Stink Easy. Oh, yeah, true. Come Dine With... The Feelings. Now we can chat about it. Now that's, yeah, now we're good to go. Now, well, of course, I'm first cab off the rank there, fellas, so it's just about a matter of working out timings.

26:07There was a bit of a conversation happening last night between a couple of the wives there, and the general feeling was, Keezy, that you would be on your own. You'd have to make everything by yourself. Your wife's not keen to help out because she can't handle the inevitable tsunami of criticism that's going to come your way after you've absolutely insulted Jace and his wife's effort in an earlier dinner that we had.

26:31Mike Minogue:Can I just remind you, that was a practice come dine with me. That's right. And the meal and the company and everything was 10 out of 10. The thing that dropped it down to a 6 out of 10 was Jace and a few shortcomings on his behalf. In no way a reflection of your partner, Jace. No, 100%. Nevertheless. Oh, she's a remarkable woman. Your wife is correctly anticipating that there will be a backlash. Yes. And as a result, as she is sensitive to criticism, does not want to be putting herself in the path of any of that criticism. Can I just say, she's not sensitive to criticism. She is sensitive to criticism on the radio.

27:03Mike Minogue:Oh, is that all? So I can say to her face. Whatever you want. As long as, you know, like, but having said that, I can understand where she's coming from because you guys did just give Inglebert last night the live gig one buzzy out of five. So, you know, I can see where she's coming from. Musically only. Only musically in terms of company, 10 out of 10, Casey, As you say, it was just what he was offering as an artist.

27:27Keyzie:Actually, it's comparable, actually, in terms of Keezy's scoring system. That's right. The evening he gave a 10, and old Hoity J slash Englebert he gave a 6.

27:38Mike Minogue:I always hear you two mixed up, actually. Right, so when it comes to my turn to host, I will be doing everything because my wife doesn't want to borrow any of it. Yeah, that's right. Well, what was interesting last night is I found out that my wife also thinks that I'll be doing everything. Yes. As such, I'd like to withdraw from the competition. No, no. That makes it funny. Well, it does make it funny, but yeah, I don't know. I mean, it is weird, isn't it? Because I'm thinking about it, and I'm like, an entree? I don't know. Who eats entrees? Nobody. I do. Especially my guests when I'm doing Come Dine With Me, there'll be no entrees.

28:09No, it's three courses, man. I know it is. So yeah, we'll have to look at it. I think it's probably going to be, because what have we got? It's not going to be this week. Yep. It's not going to be this week.

28:17Mike Minogue:Next week's Matariki on Friday. We're two weeks mate Matariki and we're away. And if I'm going to do it, to be honest with you, it's probably going to have to be during the day. So it's probably going to be more of a lunch on a weekend is what I mean. Okay. Is that going to be all right? Yeah, that can work. Because what will happen is otherwise my daughter is just going to get up a billion times and we're going to be dealing with that. So best just leave her up. Okay, all right. So like a Saturday lunch or a Sunday lunch or something. That sounds lovely.

28:44Keyzie:Yep, I'm all G with that. Okay, okay.

28:47Mike Minogue:and maybe in a few weeks' time, and just confirming entree, main, dessert. That's right. Entertainment up to you, just a lovely ambiance. Yeah, exactly right. It can be nothing, but, you know, brownie points if you get a little bit of entertainment in, I'm sure. Yeah, it can be something. I might have an Inglebert night. Oh, yeah. And just play Inglebert. Yeah, that'd be great. Yeah. Sure. At least you know what you're going to get. Yeah, totally. One. All right, well, a few weeks' time, Mogi. Plenty of time to prepare. Yeah, man. I'm excited.

29:15Keyzie:A few crusty loaves I'm picking.

29:20Mike Minogue:What the hell's a crusty loave? One buzzy out of five, Jase. Come on, man. The Hauraki Big Show with Jase, Mike and Kesey. Tune in weekdays at four on Radio Hauraki.

29:35Mike Minogue:It's Beer and Pie July on Radio Hauraki.

29:40Keyzie:Sure is. Exciting stuff. And I tell you what, in that regard, We've got$250 to give away, don't we, fellas?

29:47Mike Minogue:Yeah, yeah. We certainly do, Jase. It is the pies that pay for the entire month. We've got$20 ,000 to give away. Dishing it out to all the great New Zealanders out there, thanks to our friends at Dad's Pies, because, of course, it is Bear and Pie July, which is just one of the all-time great months. It is.

30:01Keyzie:Tell me, fellas, how many pies do you reckon you'd get for$250?

30:05Mike Minogue:$250.

30:06Keyzie:Yeah, you'd probably get... About$30 or$40? Yeah. So what,$30 or$20? That's good eating. You like that? That's good eating.

30:14Mike Minogue:I'd probably go the family pies if it was me. Yeah, yeah. Just freeze them all in a deep freeze. Nice, geez.

30:18Keyzie:Hey, let's go to the phone lines. G'day, Jack, you mad bastard. How's life? G'day. How are you going, mate?

30:28Mike Minogue:Yeah, good, yourself?

30:29Keyzie:Yeah, good, thanks, mate. What do you do for a crust, Jack? Oh, I lay turf. Oh, yeah, you do. I'm guaranteeing, Jack, that you love a pie while you're laying some turf. Oh, yeah. What's your favourite pie? Oh, it's got to be a dad's pie. Yeah, yeah, dad's pie. In terms of flavour, man, what's your favourite flavour of pie? Oh, mince and cheese. Yeah. Yeah, that's your sort of go-to, really, isn't it? The old mince and cheese. I just actually had a steak pie from Dad's Pies. Bloody good. It was good eating, wasn't it? I don't usually go with steak pie. That was good. Me and the Jizzinator split that pie.

31:10We had half each. Man, going halves with the Jizzinator.

31:12Keyzie:Like a steak pie, do you, Jack? Yeah, it's a bit. I had a miss though with the steak, eh? Well, sometimes with a steak, man, you can find they're a little bit grisly. But I'll tell you another thing, Jack, and this is for nothing, brother. Not with a dad's pie.

31:26Mike Minogue:Hey, Jack, you strike me as a kind of lights-off missionary type dude, man. Am I right? Yeah. Good on you, mate. Well, the good news is, Jack, you've won yourself$250, mate. Awesome. Thank you. Good on you, buddy.

31:40Keyzie:You have a great day, Jack. Stay on the line and pugs will see you out, all right? How good is that, man? When he woke up this morning, he didn't know, number one, that he was going to win$250 from the pies that pay, but also that Kesey was going to ask him if he was a lights-off missionary kind of guy.

31:54Mike Minogue:Well, he does strike me, you know, mince and cheese. I don't know about steak, you know. Yeah, yeah, it's a bit much. A bit exotic, the old steak. Yeah. You're? What?

32:03Keyzie:You're lights-off missionary. You're lights-off missionary, though, Kesey. You've said yourself you don't like to take your jammies off. You've just got that little button-up up the front there.

32:11Mike Minogue:Yeah, so what I'll do when it's... Like the old cowboy movies. Oh, that's right. You just open your back door. When it's sexy night, I'll wear my onesie back to front so that the flap's on the front. And I'll still have the lights off, though. Ooh, that's gross. Yeah, well, you started it, mate. No wonder you have the lights off. And the best part is...

32:35Mike Minogue:The best part is this is right in the middle of a shout-out to Dad's Pies. Oh, Dad's Pies, mate. It's so good. Dad's pies love it. I'd open the front flap for a dad's pie. What? The Hauraki Big Show with Jace, Mike and Kesey. Tune in weekdays at four on Radio Hauraki.

32:53Keyzie:Audio slave there on the Radio Hauraki Big Show this Wednesday evening. The time is 5.51.

33:03Mike Minogue:What's on the news? With me, Kesey. That's right, it's the segment where I basically keep you guys abreast of the most interesting news getting about at the moment, fellas. This one comes from Nepal. Have you heard of Nepal?

33:23Keyzie:Yeah.

33:24Mike Minogue:Jase?

33:25Keyzie:Obviously.

33:26Mike Minogue:Can you just show just an hour? Well, it's only because of experience, Keezy. Right, okay, we'll get this one in you. Can you get on with it? But health authorities in India are warning that changes to climate conditions and the overuse of vehicles for transportation are driving all of the venomous snakes like king cobras and pit vipers from the fields up into the mountains, which means while you're climbing Everest, there is now an increased risk that you'll be bitten by a venomous snake. I actually saw this story, Jason. What's happening outside of this, Kesey, is evolution is affecting them because to get around the mountain and be safe out there, you need legs.

34:12So they're finding that snakes now have the legs of a yak. Wow. They found snakes with the legs of a yak. That's extraordinary.

34:21Mike Minogue:That's not how evolution works. A snake doesn't just get yak legs. It's not how it works. Talk to the snakes about it, man, because they're the ones with the legs of a yak. I can't talk to a snake. I don't speak parcel time.

34:35Keyzie:I recall seeing now some snakes with yak legs. They're turning them into carriers up the mountain there. That's right. Yeah, yeah. What, Sherpas? Yeah, they're like Sherpas, yes. The thing about a snake with legs of a yak is that they're very light on their feet. Very light on their feet. Yes. They don't have feet. They don't have hooves, first of all. If this were true, which it's not. Well, I'm not a vet. I'm not a zoo.

35:03Mike Minogue:Obviously, you're not a zoo, because a zoo is like a place. It's a location. You can't be a zoo. So you make my point for me. Yeah, totally. But yeah, fellas, so it's already tough enough climbing the tallest mountain in the world, let alone being bitten by a pit viper. You know what I mean? With yak legs. No. Yeah. It's got a mean kick on them, too, the bass. Yeah, they do, don't they? Do they slither or do they walk? They clomp Oh they clomp

35:36Mike Minogue:Oh the Oh The Clash The Hauraki Big Show Weekdays from 4 on Radio Hauraki

35:45Keyzie:The Clash there on the Radio Hauraki Big Show This Wednesday evening I tell you what fellas Lots coming up after 6 o 'clock App Chat Yeah You mean Snapchat With me Whitty J That's going to be a new regular segment we're going to be doing here on the Hoorayki Big Show. We'll be doing it every single day. Hooray J is going to take us through the latest hot apps. Is that what it's going to be? Yeah, man. Have you heard of Google? Yes. Dot com?

36:14Mike Minogue:Yeah, well, that's a website. Yeah, I've heard of that. There you go. That's one example. Extraordinary. Have you heard of Insta? Instagram? Yeah. Yes. I was at Instagram. Yeah. Also up after six, meetpattynip69 at gmail.com. the advice segment. If you ever need advice on anything, get in touch. You could win a prize. Is that a real email? It's a real email address. Good stuff. Thanks. The Hauraki Big Show with Jace, Mike and Keezy. Tune in weekdays at four on Radio Hauraki.

36:45Keyzie:Welcome back, you massive backbones. Hope you're getting through your hump day tickety-boo. You're listening to The Big Show, incidentally, brought to you by Reburger.

36:52Mike Minogue:Beef, chicken, vegan and vegetarian options.

36:54Keyzie:Reburger are redefining the norm.

36:56Mike Minogue:Yum.

36:57Keyzie:Seriously, actually, fellas, on that, I'm going to flag the Ree burger tonight, and I'm going to do it over the weekend. I don't care if you eat it or not.

37:04Mike Minogue:But what? Please! Just stop lying about it.

37:08Keyzie:Because normally now, we do hot pot on a Wednesday. Hot pot Wednesdays. But my wife's gone to a play. Yeah, right. So is it still all G if I do it by myself? I think it's great. Yeah. I just feel like I look like a bit of a loser. Oh, look, as long as you're not wearing your boots, you'll be sweet.

37:28Mike Minogue:Jase, solo hot pot You might find that it's actually your preferred way to hot pot Oh yeah And a hot pot by the way is a restaurant in Auckland CBD Aren't they closed?

37:37Keyzie:Or is that a different restaurant? No that was the one we went to last night We were gonna go last night Yeah, gonna go Gonna go Gonna go Okay well that's what you'll do that maybe Yeah Solo hot pot

37:47Mike Minogue:Yeah yeah Do that I'm having the big family sized lasagna for dinner tonight I'm not gonna eat all of it obviously But we'll be having that tonight. It's a funny one, eh, isn't it? The old lasagna there. How's it funny? All it is is delicious. Yeah, it's pretty good. It's pretty good. I don't know. I don't know about lasagna. You've obviously never had a good lasagna. I have, but to be honest with you, I'm also not a huge fan of Italian fare because it's so carb heavy. It's, you know, the pastas and they're always ramming the old carbs down your throat there. So good. They're yum. It is yum. I especially like it with the green salad.

38:22Thank you. To the side there. It's got to have, you know, a little bit of red onion in there, some olives. Yes. I had a fantastic one the other day.

38:33Keyzie:It was a tofu lasagna. Oh, man. Get that in you. Now you're talking. That sounds terrible. With micro greens on the side there. A tofu lasagna. Yes. That sounds terrible. Instead of having the beef in there, they have beef mixed with tofu. Oh, there's no beef at all. It's just tofu. Oh, my one had beef and tofu. What's the point of that? And the thing is also, Moggy, there's another little food hack for you. Instead of using cheese, you use grated carrot. Yes, that's right. We always, with our lasagna, we bake it in the oven. That's another tip.

39:09Mike Minogue:Oh, yeah, good one. That's how you cook every lasagna. Okay, this is just making me angry. I'm just going to admit it. Okay? Because lasagna is delicious and so simple. A little bit of salt, a little bit of pepper.

39:20Keyzie:Yeah, you're not going to have lasagna bowel on the golf course tomorrow, are you, Keezy?

39:25Mike Minogue:That's not a real condition, but maybe. We'll see. It's She-Hart. The Hauraki Big Show. Weekdays from four on Radio Hauraki.

39:33Keyzie:Radio head there on the Radio Hauraki Big Show this Wednesday evening. The time is 13 minutes past six o 'clock, and it's time for App Chat with Hoody J. Cheers, boss.

39:50Mike Minogue:I kind of did that on the fly, but it kind of made sense. Go for it, mate.

39:55Keyzie:Now, fellas, during our lovely meal last night... Wasn't it good? You'll recall that as I was taking our, you know, sort of traditional hoity-jay selfie of the fielos and the partners, someone made an observation about my phone and they said, and I quote,

40:15Mike Minogue:are they the only apps you have on your phone? It was Pugs. He said, OMG, is that all you've got on your phone? But it looked like you had three apps. I thought it was your wife.

40:26Keyzie:Actually, can I correct the record? It was four apps, actually, that I have on my phone. Cool. Now, apparently that's not very many. No, not usually. A lot of people have a lot more than that. At the moment, I'm currently, I've got four things. Gaming hub, but I don't know how to use that. Right. So maybe I'll get you or Pugsan to sort me out there, Keezy. Well, you can just delete it. I've got Space Shooter. Right, so that's not in Gaming Hub? No, it's just its own app. Right. You know, remember Galaga? Galaga. Galaga. Galaga. Yep. Doosh, doosh, doosh. Doosh, doosh, doosh. It's one of the original Spaceys.

41:09Keyzie:Yeah. Highly recommended, by the way. Space Shooter. Right, what else have we got? I've got PFEI app. Who? A PFEI app. It's kind of like yoga exercises, but for your erection. It's for pelvic floor engagement. Yeah, it's for erectile health. Yeah, it's to give you a more powerful. Yeah, right, and you've got an app for that. Are you struggling with that, are you? Well, it's just good to stay on top of it. On top of what? Are you paying for that app? Yeah, well, it's only 45 a month, though. Oh, yeah. That's pretty good. And what's your other app? And it's floor exercises, you know, just squeeze the pelvis.

41:53Keyzie:Yes. The perineum, if you will. Oh, perineum's different. The other one I've got is Samsung News, which I think just came with the phone. Yeah, right, okay. All the latest news and updates from Samsung. Yeah, well, it's mostly Chinese. Right. But Samsung's Korean. Nothing wrong with that. Oh! Samsung's Korean? And this is true. I've also got Gemini, which I believe is AI, and without a word of a lie, it's in Spanish for some reason, and I can't change it. No, you can't change that. It is what it is. Si, senor. Does it do the accent? Does it do the accent? That surprises me.

42:31Mike Minogue:I am not joking. It is in Spanish. So just confirming, you have an issue with the fact that it's in Spanish? I don't have an issue with it. It's just I don't know what they're saying. No. Right, okay. Is it Spanish or Portuguese? Spanish. Okay. Do you have WhatsApp? No. Right, because that's what our group chat is on. We all use WhatsApp. We've got a group chat? The Hodaki Big Show with Jace, Mike, and Kesey. Tune in weekdays at 4 on Radio Hodaki.

43:00Keyzie:Smashing pumpkins there on the Radio Hodaki Big Show this Wednesday evening. The time is 25 past 6. What do you want, Pugs? Ooh, it's Pugs.

43:11Mike Minogue:Evening, fellas. Thanks for having me. Hey, Jase, man. You all right, man? Yeah, good, man. Jeez, Jase is in a whore of a mood all of a sudden. Yeah, what's your problem? What's up? I think it's because during the break I kicked a ball. We've got a small rugby ball. It bounced off the – I did a box kick, didn't I, Jase? Now, you weren't playing. You were on your phone. Me and Keezy were playing catchies, and I did a box kick. I rolled it out from the back of the ruck. I put a box kick up, TJ Peranara style. Yeah. It hit the ceiling, came down, hit Jase right on his forehead. On my snows, actually.

43:39I was on your nose, mate, and he was wearing his glasses. and since then the show has derailed. It really has.

43:45Mike Minogue:To be fair, massive target. You'd have more luck, you know, not hitting it. Nah, but the reason Pugs is here is because you've got a bone to pick. Yeah, I've got a bone to pick. I've got a bone to pick. Who with, man? If it's with me, just on your P's and Q's, mate.

44:04Keyzie:We'll get to that. I just wanted to say I had a great night with you fellas last night. Thanks for having me, et cetera, et cetera. Great dinner. How many buzzies? Huh? For Inglebert specifically I think for the whole experience of the night For Inglebert Only for Inglebert For the whole night experience For Inglebert Hang on, four Buzzies for the whole night

44:23Mike Minogue:How many Buzzies was dinner with us? No, you don't add it up like that It was a good three and a half, four Because my partner couldn't make it Yeah, yeah What about Inglebert? Inglebert, the show Honestly I'd probably give I'm going to give it 2 out of 5 Really that high? Yeah I appreciated it It filled me with joy Kesey having a great time After 15 minutes you were sitting next to me And you were looking for the exit I don't know what you're talking about Now I did have a bone to pick And that's because obviously we went out for dinner It was a great time All our partners were there And we wandered from the dinner The Japanese restaurant Over to the venue Which was the Kitty Takanoa Theatre and no less than four times on that walkover, one Mike Minogue turned to me and he would say, Pugs, Pugs, you're going to go in there and buy some darts, man?

45:19Mike Minogue:Do you want to go in there and buy some darts, man? And this is in front of his wife, your wife, your wife. I'm a grown man. You want to go and then buy some darts? Yeah, you're a grown man asking another man to buy you some darts. Thank you. That's right. 20 years is your junior. I mean, I couldn't smoke a whole pack of 20, but a young man like you, you get through most of those. Yeah, right. and I've got that big show producer money, so I should have bought one for$1 ,000. You didn't have to buy them, and in fact you didn't. It was just a suggestion, and I wasn't sure that you got it the first few times.

45:46Mike Minogue:And then, while we're in the Inglewood concert, Mogi turns to me and goes, Pugs, right, should we go out and smoke a bag of darts? Oh, my God.

45:56Well, I thought you were off the darts. Well, I am until I have one beer, and then I'm pretty keen. But how good was it, Pugs? Because I did say to you, just jokes, don't buy any. and in the end I just had a beer. I think you said that one of the four times. Yeah, I don't think I did. But one beer and a little bit of sake. Yeah. Managed to stay off the darts. Woke up today brand new.

46:18Mike Minogue:I love that. Managed to stay off the darts, even though you spent the entire night insisting. No, no. Well, I could have gone in there and bought them, couldn't I? If I did, would you have had one? Honestly. 100%. Yeah, right. I wouldn't have. Okay. If I'd have gone in and bought a vape, would you have had some of that?

46:34Keyzie:I was still recoiling from you splattering mayonnaise all over your chest. It's a weird thing to freak out about. Well, I wasn't freaked out. I was grossed out. Same colour as your boots. It was yum-yum sauce, Jase. Oh, was it yum-yum sauce? From the prawns. Yeah, come on, man. Was it a cream oil? You should go and get some durries now, maybe, Pugsano. Oh, yeah, what are you up to? I'll punch a couple.

46:59Mike Minogue:What a kind offer. The Hauraki Big Show with Jase, Mike and Kesey Tune in weekdays at 4 on Radio Hauraki

47:09Keyzie:Snow Patrol there on the Radio Hauraki Big Show This Wednesday evening, the time is 6.37 And it's time for

47:20Mike Minogue:MeetPettyNip69 At gmail.com Get in touch with the fellas It is a real email address, trust me meetpattynip69 at gmail.com do get in touch, we get a prize if we read it on the show and we can help with anything 100 % anonymous as well this one's a good one fellas, it comes in from anonymous G'day fellas, anonymous here are you going to yell the thing? Jase? What thing? If you yell out halfway through advice, I think that's too far like halfway through me reading out the advice question I think that's too far I think there's a place for it I actually start getting nervous I'm nervous? I can't concentrate on reading because I know Jace is going to yell something soon G'day fellas, Anonymous here I need some advice I can't give advice, too nervous I know right?

48:12Mike Minogue:I need some advice, my missus has been making me mints on toast for the last 10 years Because she thinks it's my favourite meal I effing hate it How do I break it to it? I wonder if it's pork mints I know Keyes, he has the same issue with his missus, making him butterfly chicken all the time. Backbone. Cheers. Slightly different, except you love both mints and butterfly chicken. I love both, but I can understand if he's too scared to say anything.

48:39Keyzie:But, oh, my God, this is your favourite meal. Oh, my God, 10 years. And often in that sort of situation, maybe when you're initially having it, it's so disgusting that you go, oh, no, no, no, I love it. It's my favourite. And so they go, oh, okay. I love that. Oh, that's good. Oh, well, that's good to know. I'll keep that in the back of my mind. It could be a situation where, because for me personally, I struggle to think how can you be eating this for years especially when you hate it. You think it's fine. That's fine. You can sort of, she thinks it's your favourite. You think it's fine. You enjoy it.

49:12That's fine. But you hate it. Like hate. So I guess my question is how can you go for 10 years without ever bringing it up? To me, that would be kind of like, let's say you've been making coffees for 25 years. For your wife. You've been just overheating it, just boiling the shit out of it. Yeah, yeah, yeah. And then one day you mention it, you know, and your partner just hits the roof. Yeah, totes. Packs are sad, yeah, yeah.

49:36Mike Minogue:Silent treatment for a couple of days. Yeah, see, that would be... That would be not good. Jase, how would you feel if... We're for fellas! See, that's what I'm... Pugs isn't happy, man. Pugs isn't happy out there. You see what you've done?

49:49Keyzie:Well, Pugs has got a problem with it. He can come in here and sort it with me right now. live on air.

49:54Mike Minogue:No, that's not what this break is about, pugs. Go back. Back at CDOB, pal.

49:59Keyzie:Go back.

50:01Mike Minogue:This is an advice segment, right? Yeah. But at least the yelling's done now. It's gone. It's true. Can't come back. That's how it works, I hope. Jase, how would you feel if, you know, your famous spicy chicken soup that your whole family loves and is the best of the world.

50:15Keyzie:Yeah, yeah.

50:16Mike Minogue:How would you feel if maybe your wife or one of your daughters said, actually, Dad, I don't like that?

50:21Keyzie:I would be, that's all, Che. Don't worry about it. That's fine. More for Hoody J. You're not coming to Japan this year.

50:29Mike Minogue:Yeah. So hang on. So would you pack a sand? You want to buy a house, do you? You just go quiet for a few days. All good.

50:37Keyzie:Yeah, yeah. Probably flown over from Japan or something to see me. Don't talk to them for a couple of days.

50:43Mike Minogue:Wait, so they're in Japan?

50:45Keyzie:Yeah, or they go around the world, man.

50:47Mike Minogue:And they're buying a house?

50:48Keyzie:Yeah. Well, they were. Until they said that. Until they said they don't like my spicy chicken soup.

50:54Mike Minogue:This is so confusing. Well, look, I hope that advice helped. Yeah, in terms of advice, just tell you. Pull the plaster off. Come on, man. Pull the plaster off. 100%. Be honest. What's the alternative? You keep eating mints on toast for the rest of your life. Which sounds delicious, by the way. I'll be keen. It sounds yum. What's wrong with you, actually? Yeah, what's wrong with you? Not liking mints on toast. Yeah, I was going to say. The bigger problem. Yeah. I was going to say he should break up with her, but it sounds like she should break up with him for not liking mints on tugs. Yeah. Anyway, good stuff, fellas.

51:25Mike Minogue:Really great. The Hodaki Big Show with Jase, Mike and Keezy. Tune in weekdays at four on Radio Hodaki.

51:43Keyzie:Can you not just sing along? It's a tune, Keezy. No, it is. Hey, Keezy. What? What's in the podcast outro clip today?

51:51Mike Minogue:Well, we haven't even said the name of the show or what's going on. This is all about happy thoughts, and it comes out at 7.30 tonight.

51:59Keyzie:You are not your thoughts. Yeah. All right? Your thoughts are just creating a storyline that is bullshit. All right?

52:07Mike Minogue:Eckhart Tolle. German spiritual teacher and self-help author. But you can use it to your advantage, Jase. Yes. Because your thoughts can be bullshit, but if you make your thoughts super positive and amazing, You can create Super Jase Maxi Jizz

52:22Keyzie:Yeah, Maxi Jizz

52:26Mike Minogue:Oh, what a great new nickname, man

52:29Keyzie:Maxi Jizz

52:33Mike Minogue:So good I think that's going to take off Oh, boy Just quickly, Jase Are you in a her of a mood? No

52:41Keyzie:Are you sure? Yes Okay Mogi Big night for you last night early one for you tonight, I'm picking. Well, I was in bed what time? Half nine? Yes. Round about? Yeah, what am I going to do? I've got a TV show to watch. The Agency. I still haven't seen any of that. Right. I want to watch some of that.

53:00Mike Minogue:Oh, you're going to watch Game of Two Halves and Sky tonight. Is that on live? 7.30 live, yeah. 7.30 live? Is it live? It's on telly. It's not live. I filmed it already. 7.30. Okay, I'll run home. I'll run home. Sorry, I missed it. Just say you're not going to watch it. Just say it. It's on TV 3 this Friday at 8.30, by the way. Keezy, what are you eating tonight? Lasagna. Oh, that's right. We're probably going to watch more Brokenwood. Yeah, you're right. What are you doing tonight, Jase?

53:32Keyzie:Bachelor night. Bachelor night. Going to get my takeaways, get home, and get straight into the game of two halves, fellas. Really? Yeah, yeah. So that's my night sorted. So you're going to watch Game of Two Harvest with old Keezy? Yeah, totally, man.

53:49Mike Minogue:Bullshit. We can compare notes tomorrow, James. Sure we can. You're both not going to watch it. That's fine. Just say you're not going to watch it and it's totally fine. Keezy. Keezy, come on, man.

53:58Keyzie:I'm fizzing for it.

53:59Mike Minogue:Oh, yeah. Okay. As long as you're not in a hurr of a mood, I'm happy, James.

54:02Keyzie:No, I'm not in a hurr of a mood. Hey, now listen. Check out the Instagram. Check out the podcast. And until tomorrow, see you later. Bye.

54:15Thank you.