FULL SHOW: The Inspection

10:31Mike Minogue:Do you reckon it could be that? Would they do that over boots? Because they are pretty wacky. No, I said I wouldn't. They're interesting boots, but. I didn't think of that.

10:41Keyzie:They could be. Well, couldn't you just. I mean, they are the talk of the town at the moment. I mean, I wouldn't surprise me. But they don't have to have a flat inspection. I could just wear them outside and they could look at them. I wouldn't do that if I was you. You know what I mean? But here's the thing, fellas. I haven't had a flat inspection forever, I think. What do we sort of. I mean, does everything have to be super tidy? Yeah. Super clean? Yeah, if you're married to my wife, yes. Right. It does. I sort of feel like as long as there's no structural damage, that's what they're really concerned about, as long as there's no holes in the wall or, you know, sort of any filth up on the walls.

11:19Or fecal matter in the corners. Thank you. But if it's a little bit untidy, that's fine. Now, having said that, when people come around to it, when we get ours inspected, it is absolutely museum-like. Yes.

11:32Mike Minogue:Yeah, pristine.

11:32Keyzie:Well, my wife was out with a gif today, you know, just doing all the floors and stuff. I mean, she's immaculate anyway, but I've got a favour to ask. Of you fellas, if it's a possibility that I might be able to just store some stuff at your place just for tomorrow?

11:50Mike Minogue:Stuff that you can't have in an inspection.

11:53Keyzie:Well, stuff that I just don't want in the house when they're coming over and, you know, geasing. Yeah. It was actually genuine. My daughter came out yesterday and she said, they don't go through your drawers and stuff, do they? And I went, no, why would they do that? She was like, oh, I was just wondering, just curious. But no, I've just got a few boxes that I just don't want lying around. And then we'd give them back next week? Yeah, I'd come round and get them in a week or so like that. What is it? Just miscellaneous kind of stuff, Keezy, that I could keep in your –

12:26Mike Minogue:You could put it in my garage. Yeah, okay, yeah, sweet. What is it? I didn't know what it is.

12:29Keyzie:It's just miscellaneous sort of household sort of accoutrements, et cetera, et cetera. Accoutrement. So it's French stuff.

12:38Mike Minogue:It's all salotated. Yeah, it's French for this and that.

12:40Keyzie:You don't need to know. It's just junk.

12:43Mike Minogue:Okay, well, as long as it's not anything illegal. Well, I mean, it's just junk.

12:48Keyzie:You know what I'm saying?

12:49Mike Minogue:Yeah, but as long as it's not anything illegal. Is it okay to throw it out then if it's just junk?

12:54Keyzie:It's junk that I'd need. You know what I mean? It's got sentimental value. If someone was to find out I had it. Oh, I mean, no one ever would. Right, okay. But if someone were to discover what it was, you could just say it belonged to me, and I'd deny it. But, I mean, it's seriously, Kesey, it's like three boxes.

13:15Mike Minogue:Right, okay, it was one box before, and now it's three boxes.

13:17Keyzie:It's three boxes. Okay. So if you – Oh, okay, great. Actually, just on that, before they come over, you can come over in your truckie and pick it up because it's not going to fit in my car, actually. Okay. Is your truckie going at the moment?

13:31Mike Minogue:My truckie's always going, all right? It always runs. But why don't you, like Pugs and Mogi, for example, they could take some stuff. I'm busy.

13:36Keyzie:Yeah. Keezy, Mogi's working all day. Pugs' car is a shitter and has been in the bloody mechanics for about six months, and I need a bit of space. So I'll need your little truckie if that's okay. I appreciate that.

13:50Mike Minogue:Can you tell me what one of the things is inside the box? I need to know. Dilly. No. The Hauraki Big Show with Jace, Mike and Kesey. Tune in weekdays at four on Radio Hauraki.

14:03Keyzie:Blind Melon there on the Radio Hauraki Big Show this Monday afternoon. The time is exactly 20 minutes to five. Massive rugby league action over the weekend with that in mind. We have rugby league legend Charlie Gubb on the line with us. G'day, Charlie, you mad bastard. How's life? Yeah, life's good, brother. Good to be talking to a brick shit house. Yeah, good on you, mate. He's a massive bastard. That's what they used to call me when I played, Gubby. Shit house. The brick shit house. Absolutely shit house.

14:34Mike Minogue:He's bricked another one, the shit house.

14:36Keyzie:I tell you what, I tell you what, Charlie, it was expected, but jeez, what a game.

14:43Mike Minogue:It was a good game. I was just thinking on the way to answering this call how, you know, that last few minutes we could be celebrating a victory. Yeah. and what was a great game regardless of the result, but because of that last set, it's almost like, oh, damn, we lost, or what Bronx can we find? So it's just crazy how sport can be like that. One team's celebrating and one team's down, but they're both equally good. Well, that's the thing, right? So the Dolphins at the time were just behind us on the ladder. Now it is all tied up, Charlie. You've got the Panthers way out in front on 28 points, but the Warriors, the Dolphins, the Roosters and the Knights are all tied on 24 points, and then just behind them are them, one loss away, Seagulls, Rabideaux, Sharks, and then you're out of the top eight.

15:29Mike Minogue:So have you ever seen a sort of top eight at the business end of the season this close before? No, not that I can remember, and I can't remember a comp that's been so even. Like, you know, even the Dragons are the worst team by far. Yeah. They can still knock someone over. It's kind of a scary place to be for all the teams. you only have to drop a couple in a row and you go from being top four to fighting to being the eight. Yeah, 100%. I mean, it makes for exciting viewing. At the end of the day, as you say, when you're watching this game, and we were a couple of minutes away from celebrating a massive, hearty win from the Warriors without a lot of their star players who were injured, what do you think we did wrong there, Charlie?

16:12Mike Minogue:Because I'm sure Mogi's got a list of things. I don't reckon that's what we did wrong. I honestly reckon the injuries are just playing a big part. and we just looked fragile on the edge. There was periods where Warriors were on top big time, but we didn't look super threatening, even though we were rolling through the middle. We just lacked a bit of, I don't know, like fire on the edge and attack. And Dolphins weren't dominating, but you almost had that feeling like, oh, damn, if they go wide here, it could be on just because, I don't know if we were tied in the middle without Jackson Fords and other people playing big minutes, but we were just getting skinned on the edge.

16:51Mike Minogue:You know, our centres were just lacking a bit of class that day. They were coming up against Herbie Farnworth and Bostock, who were both in great form. Yeah. Still, I guess you've got to do a bit better, eh, when you're trying to win a professional comp. Yeah, it felt like we were, weirdly, it felt like we were going to win. I always felt confident, except for the start of the second half where they were just absolutely rolling us. But, yeah, as you say, we've got heaps of injuries. We've lost by two points to Penrith and the Dolphins. So given we've got all these injuries, I feel really confident in this team.

17:24It's not like we're getting absolutely battered. You know, people have certainly been saying that old mate Pompey had a rough game, but he's been bloody good for a few years. You know, it was sort of like a callback to what he used to be like, but he's been bloody good, so he's allowed a bad game. Laetitia's defence though, man. I don't think you can win a comp having somebody that just completely, like, disappears at times.

17:48Mike Minogue:Yeah. Yeah, that wasn't Leotawa's best game. I'm a big fan of his. Oh, same. He's a lot of X-Fact and stuff like that, but I think those are those games that you learn from. You know, he's still a young player. Yeah. Hopefully he's not making the same mistake multiple times, whether or not, I don't know, only they would know when they do the review if it's all his fault. You know, there might be some communication breakdown somewhere. Yeah. But that's the difference, right? Like, we got Roger. Roger's injured. and he's a really good player and then you replace him with a player like Lawatawa who's a good player but the difference between the better and the worst game is quite a lot whereas Wadler's worst game is still a really good game so in those big games that's where you need your big players to step up and we've just got a lot out at the moment

18:33Keyzie:Charlie, just on that front how are we looking on the injury front are there players that we're looking to come back in? Well we've got Fisher Harris is out Leca Halasima, Khan Pereira Boyd's gone for the season, and then so has RTS, and Jackson will be back. Jackson Ford will be back. But then there's also in and around, you know, Origin as well, where we lose Capewell and Mitch Barney.

18:57Mike Minogue:And Delamitini Zalesniak is now out. And all of those names, a lot of them are the older boys. Well, there are a few captains and things in there, but your leadership pack, they're all out, Charlie, man. They're all out. But we're looking good, man. We are looking good. We're looking good because I'll say this as well, even though we've got all these other teams that are even with us, I still feel like we're hitting shoulders above those teams. Yeah, we're still playing very good footy. KZ, I'll take it from your brother. So I think that performance we put in, we're probably beating 12 of the 16 teams playing like that.

19:28Mike Minogue:Roosters are coming into form, which is scary because they're big-time players in there. Rabbitohs are doing well for Jaira. They're looking good. But I think apart from Dolphins, Panthers, us, and those other two teams I just named. CTU's rolling in now, but I've named them. They're the only teams that can win it. And we're, I think, yeah, hopefully we've got a top four spot come semifinals. Book your flights. Hey, Charlie, before we let you go, mate, who is your player of the round brought to you by Portaking? I'm giving it to big Jakey Laban. Yeah, yeah. He had an awesome guy. Bear dog. Yeah.

20:05Mike Minogue:Who did you think went well? Well, Laban did. I went pretty well as well. I had my daughter's birthday party and had a couple of friends over, so I was pretending I wasn't a psychopath when I was watching the game or not screaming the house down. So I had to pretend I was interested in the conversation, to be honest, Charlie, so I didn't give it my full attention. No, that's all good, brother. That's all good. What about you, Keezy? What did you get up to? Oh, sorry, Charlie, man. We don't have time. The music's playing now. Nice try, though, man.

20:33Keyzie:No, all good, fellas. You have a good one. Get on you, Charlie, you mad bastard.

20:37Mike Minogue:Here's Incubus. Don't forget, if you're ever in Wellington and you need a Port-a-loo, hit up Uncle Charlie at Port-a-King. The Hauraki Big Show, weekdays from four on Radio Hauraki.

20:48Keyzie:She-hard there on the Radio Hauraki Big Show this Monday afternoon. The time is eight minutes to five o 'clock. Let's talk TV. What's on the telly with Mike Minogue?

21:04Yes. I didn't watch anything, Philz. That's okay. Didn't watch anything. I had a full social calendar over the weekend there, Philz.

21:12Mike Minogue:I've got an update just quickly on Brokenwood. There was an episode of the Brokenwood Mysteries on TVNZ a couple of weeks ago now where Jace, the character you play, Jace, Ray, was the centre of attention. My wife and I have watched the first third of it and we can't bring ourselves to watch any more of it. I told you this would happen on Friday, did I not? Yeah, you did. You said, oh, we're going to watch the rest of it over the weekend. I bet you never watch one more second of that episode. Yeah, which is a shame because we love watching you act, Jase. And what I do is I crack up picturing everyone standing behind the camera filming it and you effing and jeffing off to the side.

21:49Everybody's sort of walking on eggshells around him and all that because he's such a horrendous moody bastard. Because he'll fly up a hand. Oh, I know, mad dog. Well, I mean, I get it.

22:01Keyzie:But I'll be in your wife's ear tomorrow, I can tell you that much. because, you know, for all the stuff I've done for her, the fact that she can't make the effort to watch Hoity J on the TV is... And it is an effort. It's an effort. That's the issue. You know what I mean? It's a little hurtful. And especially when you consider what a fan of a game of two halves I am.

22:23Mike Minogue:You only just remembered what it was called.

22:26Keyzie:You know, and that is, you know, I don't care what my family wants to watch when a game of two halves comes on, because that's all we're watching. Yeah, right. You know what I'm saying? I appreciate that, man. And to hear that you're finding it so hard to watch me when I gave a performance of a lifetime. It was a great performance. I'm shocked.

22:45Mike Minogue:I'm hurt. We're going to watch more of it tonight, okay? Okay. I'm going to go home and say to my wife, Jay's packed a sad, we have to watch another like 20 minutes of it. And she's going to say, Okay, fine.

22:55Keyzie:And I'm going to check with her tomorrow at Engelbert.

22:58Mike Minogue:Or I could just tell you tomorrow on the show.

23:00Keyzie:No, I'm going to check with her. Yeah.

23:01Mike Minogue:Okay.

23:02Keyzie:Because I don't believe you even watch my stuff, Keezy. I do. I haven't caught up on Game of Two Harves. I'm going to catch up on that tonight. No, you're not. Did you watch last week's episode, Jase? Yeah, man. It was an absolute cracker. And I'll tell you what, Keezy is doing an outstanding job of filling in for the great Laura McGoldrick. Sure, I get that. Speaking of filling in, I tell you what, we have a massive hour to fill in next. A bit of Engelbert chat.

23:31Mike Minogue:Yeah, also fellas, I think we should do some improv as well. Oh yes. Around Jase's... Yes please. He's had his first flat inspection. No, tomorrow morning. Tomorrow, so we should do a training run for that.

23:41Keyzie:Actually, just on that, before you cut me off here, Kesey, they've done that annoying thing of where they've said between 10 and 4. Well, lucky you've got nothing on. Literally nothing on. Nothing at all. Well, I won't be when they turn up, I can tell you that much. Just the boots.

23:59Mike Minogue:The Hauraki Big Show with Jase, Mike and Keezy. Tune in weekdays at four on Radio Hauraki.

24:05Keyzie:Welcome back, you massive backbones. Hope you're surviving your Monday. You're listening to The Big Show brought to you by Reburger.

24:12Mike Minogue:Handcrafted burgers, loaded fries and gourmet eats that'll change the game. Reburger.

24:19Keyzie:Any of you fellas managed to have a bit of Reburger over the weekend? No, I didn't. I can't remember what I ate really, but I've started a little herb garden outside because I've been sort of over the years, Keezy, I don't know if you know this, but sort of herbs come into the house and then they die. They perish. But they seem to sit on the bench forever and then I'll be the one that sort of throws them out. So I've sort of reached my wit's end with it a little bit. So I went out and bought a big tray, a big pot, and some potting mix, some blood and bone, and a whole bunch of herbs. And now it's on me to keep these things alive.

25:01So I'm taking it really seriously. So I did a lot of work on that over the weekend. Renovation chat. Renovation chat. It really was. What herbs you got in there? I'm a big parsley guy. Now, I like your normal parsley, your curly parsley, they call it. I also like your Italian. But I like the curly. I like to have that in my scrambled eggs. So I've got a couple of those. I've got a few chives and I've got some Italian parsley. All very good for the winter, but I strayed away from getting rosemary and thyme because you just never use them. Well, rosemary and thyme, I would argue, are the most delicious.

25:30But I never use them.

25:32Keyzie:Rosemary grows like a bastard, though. A bastard, thank you. As does mint. And mint. I'll tell you what. I get some oregano. Not round at our house, it doesn't. Yeah. But I tell you what, in all seriousness, my daughters had a sand pit when they were littleies, and when they buggered off, we turned that into a little herb patch. It's very good for the head to tend to, you know, a little patch of growth.

25:56Mike Minogue:Did you turn that into a herb patch or did it just get overgrown? No, it was a beautiful little herb patch. Is that the one where the tomatoes you used to rip ass all over? Oh, no, they were potted. Right, okay. Yeah. I must say, because one thing you discover, I reckon it's like in your late 20s, early 30s, is that herbs and spices and the difference it makes to food. Because I never used to use any of them. No. And now, like I had some time yesterday, the herb I mean and I couldn't believe how delicious it was I was like I'm going to use more of this

26:22Keyzie:it's a treat isn't it just on that front by the way I bought a huge bag of coriander yesterday it was massive only three bucks it was Sparrow that's great herb chat

26:33Mike Minogue:here's the food fighters the Hauraki Big Show with Jace, Mike and Kesey tune in weekdays at four on Radio Hauraki

26:41Keyzie:Soundgarden there on the Radio Hauraki Big Show this Monday afternoon and the time is 14 minutes past 5 o 'clock. It's time for some improv. Quiet on set. Sound speed. Lights. Camera. Action. Now it's time for the Big Show Improv. Now this is based on the fact that tomorrow Hoody J has a flat inspection. The first time in, I'd say, 30 years that's happened.

27:08Mike Minogue:Isn't it your first ever flat inspection?

27:09Keyzie:Actually, I think it is my first ever. I can't ever recall having a flat inspection.

27:14Mike Minogue:So to prepare you for this, because we know that you've got some questionable stuff around your house. Well, no, that's going to be at your house. Well, yeah, you're going to drop some at my house apparently. Figured I could come over and we could do a run through and I could play a flat inspector.

27:27Keyzie:Yeah, because I'm not sure, you know, what the sort of set-up is in that scenario. Well, by a flat inspector, it's a real estate agent. Oh, okay. Yeah, yeah, yeah. So it's whoever rented the place out to you, whoever the property manager is. Sure. They're the ones that come through the door. Oh, she was lovely. There's not an official flat inspector as such. They sort of multitask. So it's just the letting agent, whoever, okay. If you can imagine somebody in, let's say, a navy blazer with a name badge on the front. Okay. Okay, yeah, perfect. That says Keezy.

27:56Mike Minogue:Okay, well, it's probably not, it's going to say Chris. Oh, yeah, Chris. Okay, so I'm Chris. Oh, Chris.

28:00Keyzie:Oh, no, but the woman that rented the place, she was a woman.

28:04Mike Minogue:Yeah, no, but obviously I'm not a woman.

28:05Keyzie:Well, could you play her as a woman, please? Because I need it to be as realistic as possible.

28:09Mike Minogue:Yeah, okay, so me playing a woman is realistic. It sort of feels like if you play a woman, then that would be sexist, because if you're playing another race, that would be racist. So can you play another sex? I'm not sure. We'll find out. Yeah. Can you call yourself Elizabeth? Okay, I'm Elizabeth. Are you ready to go? Yes. So I'm coming around to your house, all right? Here we go. Who am I? You live with Jase. What are we? Are we mates? I don't know. Up to you. Okay. Will you be his wife? Huh? I wouldn't marry that bastard. Okay, well, let's pretend, all right? We just make believe. All right, here we go.

28:39Mike Minogue:I mean, I'd make out. Oh, okay. But I don't think we could commit. Would that be on the couch or like in the bedroom? Maybe you're Jace's side piece or something. Yeah, yeah. Because you know he's got one. Yeah, yeah, yeah. All right, here we go. Action.

28:56Mike Minogue:Okay, don't do the thing where you don't answer the door. All right, here we go. Yeah, coming. On my way.

29:08Mike Minogue:Oh, good day, Elizabeth. How are you? You looking well. Hi, Jason. Thank you. Thank you. Likewise. Nice boots. Sorry, I'm just double checking that you knew we were having a flat inspection today. Oh, yeah, I did. G'day, Elizabeth. Hello. I don't think we've met. I'm Elizabeth. Hello. Hi. What's your name? Susie. Hi. G'day, Susie. I hope you guys don't mind. We'll just do a quick flat inspection. It should be no longer than 10 minutes. Yeah. Feel free to just chill in the lounge there. I'll go wherever I want.

29:37Keyzie:Yeah. Yeah. Well, I mean, I'm paying for the place, so I might just. Yeah. If that's all good Relax in the boudoir If that's okay Is it hot in here Yeah It is really hot Or is it just me It is very hot in here

29:49Mike Minogue:Have you got the heating on Or something Because it's really stuffy We do

29:52Keyzie:You don't mind If I take my robe off Do you

29:53Mike Minogue:Oh actually I do mind If you just give me Five minutes Okay Well What I would like you To take it off honey There you go This is our house Listen Suzy There he is

30:03Keyzie:Yeah hello Oh Am I happy to see you Or what Oh There he is Yeah there I go Hello. Yeah. Now you're talking.

30:13Mike Minogue:You're damn straight. There it is. Would it be better for you guys if I came back at another time? No. No, not at all.

30:20Keyzie:Timing is perfect. It's quite like having you here, actually. Okay, I'll just quickly have a look.

30:25Mike Minogue:There it is.

30:26Keyzie:Hello. Yeah, hello.

30:29Mike Minogue:Just checking the kitchen, yeah. Everything looks great. Okay, the lounge looks fine. Yeah, okay. Have you seen that? No, I've not. Have you seen that before? It's bloody hard to miss, to be honest with you. Hello. Oh, hello. There it is. Cool. And cut. So I think. Is that it, man? What do you mean is that it? You haven't had a look in the bathroom. You haven't had a bathroom, bedroom. Okay, action. Okay, I'm just going to check the bathroom. Is it okay if I take my robe off? Oh, yeah. Hello. Oh, there he is. Here it is. Cut.

31:07Mike Minogue:Okay, good stuff, man. I think you'll be sweet for your inspection tomorrow. Yeah, thanks, fellas.

31:10Keyzie:Appreciate that. I feel really prepared. Here's news.

31:13Mike Minogue:The Hauraki Big Show. Weekdays from four on Radio Hauraki.

31:18Keyzie:He's indeed smashing pumpkins there on the Radio Hauraki Big Show this glorious Monday evening.

31:23Mike Minogue:Ah, fellas, huge news. Tomorrow night, just after the show there, all four of us and our partners will be seeing this song live.

31:30Keyzie:Oh, dance, dance, dance to my ten guitar.

31:37Mike Minogue:Engelbert Humperdinck, he's in town. In fact, last night he was actually in Christchurch. Yeah. And he performed to... Guy gets around, doesn't he? Bloody oath he does, Jase. Last night he performed to what I can only assume was a sold-out mega stadium down south. And it turns out my father-in-law and my mother-in-law actually went along to the gig. Right. He got last minute tickets. He's probably like taking the piss as well, like us. No as far as I'm aware He just really likes Single Bert as well Did they get like free tickets No no no They bought them A couple of weeks ago Was it a work deal Or something like that No no no It was like he wanted to go Just like we do Did they win them Through like a social club Or something No Did they find them In the gutter Nah Was it a pub raffle It was his birthday Oh And he got them For his birthday Oh how good Yeah Does he not get on With his missus Nah no I think so I think they're all good But basically What I wanted to I've texted him And I've said hey would you be keen to come on and give a review of the show?

32:33Mike Minogue:Yes. But he doesn't want to relive it? No. Because the fellas and our partners are going to tomorrow night's Auckland gig and I'm worried that you guys think it's not going to be very good.

32:43Keyzie:Oh, look, I am absolutely fizzing. I am curious, and I don't know if it's a question that's been asked, how are our wives feeling about it? Your wife, Kesey, how does she feel about it?

32:54Mike Minogue:She's stoked because she, like her old man and like me, loves a bit of Inglebert. Right. Uncle Inglebert. What about your wife, Maggie? Haven't asked her.

33:01Keyzie:Right, okay.

33:02Mike Minogue:She's just going. But I haven't really got her opinion on it. Does she know? Sometimes you've got to do things for work, man. You've just got to suck it up. So hang on. So you told your wife that this was just a work thing that we had to go to and we had to suck it up. Yeah. She probably doesn't realise it's Inglebert Humperdinck. Oh, no, she knows. But she's a few years older than you, Keezy, but she's never heard of him. Right. Which I think is normal. No, no.

33:27Keyzie:Yeah, for a lot of people, for sure.

33:28Mike Minogue:She's obviously lived a very sheltered life musically. So my father-in-law's agreed to come on the show. We're going to give him a call next. But if you guys could just not be weird, if you know what I mean. What do you mean weird? What would be weird? Like, I don't know. A few phrases I'm going to throw out there that I'd really appreciate. Steamer? Buzzies. Well, yeah, steamer and buzzies, if we could avoid using those phrases. Steamed? Steamed is okay. Keezy'd? Keezy's fine. Brothel creeper? Yeah. That's an old one from about five years ago. Yeah, I prefer brothel creeper stayed out of the sort of conversation.

34:06Keyzie:Oh, right, I see. You're a bit nervous about what you might say to your father-in-law.

34:09Mike Minogue:It's just, you know, the in-jokes of the show, which are always a bit of a laugh. You know, if they could not make their way into this chat with my father-in-law, you know. You have my word. Really? No meat patty nips, none of that stuff?

34:20Keyzie:Well, I mean, if it slips out, Keezy, it slips out. A nip slip. Yeah, totally. Maggie. a costume malfunction verbally.

34:31Mike Minogue:The Hauraki Big Show with Jace, Mike and Keezy. Tune in weekdays at four on Radio Hauraki.

34:37Keyzie:Yes, indeed. Green Day there on the Radio Hauraki Big Show this Monday evening.

34:43Mike Minogue:Fellas, tomorrow night, all four of us and our partners will be seeing this song live.

34:48Keyzie:Oh, dance, dance, dance to my ten guitar.

34:53Mike Minogue:We're talking Englebert, Humperdinck. He's one of my all-time favourites whenever I have a few beers. I put him on and I like to sing along. Everyone in my family does. Someone that went to Engelbert's concert last night was, in fact, my father-in-law, Greg. He performed down in Christchurch. He joins us now for a review. G'day, Greg. How are you? G'day, fellas. I'm good.

35:13Keyzie:Yeah, good on you, Greg. Hey, before we get into Engelbert, I guess. Well, no, can we just get straight to him? Well, hang on, Keezy. I guess the first question we have to ask you, as you know, the father-in-law of old Kesey. What were your first impressions when your lovely daughter brought Kesey for the first time through your front door?

35:35Mike Minogue:Well, we can't say we were completely impressed. We just hoped it was a phase she was going through. Can we keep this on Inglebert, please? But no, he's not a bad lad in the finish. I always know when he's coming around, actually, because my wife starts making cheese rolls and homemade soup and all the stuff that I normally get when the favourite son-in-law is arriving, you know. Yeah, he's a bottomless pit, isn't he? He never stops eating. You would have noticed that as well. Absolutely, yeah. Guys, for just the reason we've got Greg on the line is to...

36:09Keyzie:Greg, can I just say, actually, because I know that old Kesey likes to play a bit of golf with you. He says you are shocking on the golf course. You know, he said you'll hit a nine on a hole and mark it down as a four, and it just riles him up.

36:27Mike Minogue:What are you talking about? Well, he's true. I am a shocking golfer, but I don't think he's ever beaten me, so where does that put him? Yeah, well, exactly. Yeah, no, fair point, mate. Fair point. Well, if we could just chat here about Inglebert last night, Greg. Greg, you must be wondering to yourself, man, as time ticks onwards, where are these grandkids? Don't get me started. I'm on national radio, you know. Cheers for that, Moggy. And, Greg, you went to Inglebert last night. with my lovely mother-in-law, Andrea.

36:56Keyzie:I didn't go with your mother at all. I went with your mother.

36:58Mike Minogue:Yeah, come on. You're a shocking bastard, Greg. Are you steamed, Keiji? Come on, man. You went last night to Inglebert in Christchurch with my lovely mother-in-law, Andrea. How was the experience? Because Jason and Mike are both, I think, worried that it might not be very good.

37:17Keyzie:No, it was great.

37:19Mike Minogue:You had to allow for the fact he's 90 years old. and it's just good for her to get up there but he's making a few moves. He was struggling at the high notes but it didn't worry a jot, the audience. They were singing along and enjoying it all and it made me feel young again because I think I was the youngest one at 66 in the audience. But a lot of the old girls that got up and they had the sequins on and the dresses and I spoke to a couple on the way out and they said, I don't care that he sounded like shit, it didn't matter at all. It was just fantastic to see him there, you know? Right, okay, cool.

37:50Mike Minogue:So that's sort of half...

37:51Keyzie:So a little bit past it. No, but the experience... Can't reach the top notes. Right. But to be fair, he did sing fine on the lower notes.

38:02Mike Minogue:Sorry, I was just going to say one other thing. One of his signature things, I mean, he had a red cloth that he mopped his brow, and at the end he went to throw these, about four or five of these. You know, that must have been a thing he does. Well, his throwing arm is gone at night. He's probably pushed them into the front row. One or two actually landed. Even though he was at the front of this stage, they landed at his feet and he had to just kick them off. All right, just stand at the front is what you say. My only other question really is that's going to contribute to how much we possibly enjoy this concert will be, how long was it, man?

38:34Mike Minogue:No, it was good. There was no opening act, and he came out about 10 past 7, 10 minutes after the start, and he finished an hour and a half later.

38:45Keyzie:Wow. Well, he didn't say, but I suspect you had to be in bed by nine anyway. Yeah, yeah. Great stuff. Hey, finally, Greg, finally, you mentioned your lovely wife, Andrea, who we have actually met at one of our live gigs. Is there any chance you could send up maybe a bag of these famous cheese rolls for the big show?

39:06Mike Minogue:I'll have a word and see what we can do.

39:08Keyzie:Yeah, good, mate. Those are for me. That'd be good.

39:11Mike Minogue:Before we let you go, Greg, out of ten, what would you give last night's concert? Oh, I think it's in the time of having a solid eight. I'd give him a mate Oh Okay An 8 Just for the experience Just for the vibe And the fun of it all Oh well there you go An 8 out of 10 Inglebert Humperdinck He's going to be a 10 for me Thank you so much for joining us On the show today Greg We'll see you in a few weeks Probably I assume Cheers All the best boys Have a good show Thanks mate The Hauraki Big Show Weekdays from 4 On Radio Hauraki Let's see who's joining Jerry and Manaya On the Export Ultra Grand Final Bear Garden Tour

39:45Keyzie:Yes indeed has previously spoken about. A hell of a prize. Excuse me, fellas.

39:51Mike Minogue:You're good, man?

39:52Keyzie:A hell of a prize, and I believe it's been drawn this Wednesday morning on The Breakfast Show, fellas.

39:57Mike Minogue:That's right, just after 8 o 'clock there, so make sure you are tuned in. In the meantime, plenty of chances to get yourself in the draw. You just have to listen out for that cuter call, Jase. Yes. I'm getting nervous, man. You are? But you don't have to do anything, and you're not winning the prize. But I'm in the draw. I'm in the draw. Are you? Yeah, yeah, yeah. How did you get in the draw? I just said to them, if you expect us to be putting people in the draw, then I feel like I should be in the draw. And they said, what about Keezy and Jase and Pugsana's head? They negotiate their own deals, man.

40:23Yeah, yeah, totally. So I'm in with a pretty good chance. And who was this you were talking to, sorry? Some guy in the toilet. I don't know who it was because he was in the cubicle and the door was shut.

40:32Mike Minogue:Right, okay. But we were having a good yarn. Oh, well, fingers crossed. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Fellas, should we go to the lines and see who could potentially... Yeah, I think so.

40:39Keyzie:G'day, Martin, you mad bastard. How's life?

40:42Mike Minogue:You're not too bad, you sick son of a bitch. Oh, here he is.

40:46Keyzie:Right off the top there, Martin. How was your weekend, Martin?

40:50Mike Minogue:Oh, it was pretty good. Good, up the wild. Not too much about the Chiefs, but yeah, we'll take it. Marty, do you like to party? I do like to party, mate. Yeah, good. A bit older type of party, you know. You know, not too much. Just take you down. But yeah, I like to party, for sure.

41:09Keyzie:Yeah, okay, nice. And what do you do for a crust, Martin?

41:12Mike Minogue:We can kiwi-free parade. Oh, yeah, kiwi fruit, bro. I love kiwi fruit.

41:17Keyzie:Good news for you, mate. You're in the draw. Make sure you tune in Wednesday morning, all right, Martin?

41:23Mike Minogue:Oh, I sure will, fellas. Thank you very much for everything you guys do, mate. Good on you, mate. Likewise, Carlos. Love you.

41:29Keyzie:G'day, Carlos. You're mad bastard. How's life?

41:32Mike Minogue:Oh, good, fellas. How are you? Yeah, good, thanks, mate.

41:34Keyzie:Good. How was your weekend, Carlos? What did you get up to?

41:36Mike Minogue:I worked it, mate. Worked it. How do you work it, man? Where do you work? I'm a landscaper, bro. Stuff employed. You're a sicko. You're a sick bastard. I'm also on 1 % on my phone, boys. Sorry. Oh, okay. Sorry, man. What's going on in your life, man? I'm just coming home from work, just packing up in the workshop, boys. Good on you, mate. Hey, are you a big rugby league fan, Carlos? Obviously. Of course, boys. Of course. Yeah, good on you, mate. All right, well, I'll tell you what we'll do is we'll chuck you in the draw, man. Good luck for that. It's been drawn Wednesday morning, all right? Thank you, boys.

42:08Mike Minogue:I'll make sure I'm up with my two-and-a-half-year-old. She'll be sweet as.

42:11Keyzie:Get on your massive backbone.

42:14Mike Minogue:Just like that, fellas. Just a reminder of what the prize is. You get flown to Sydney there. You get put in a five-star hotel along with Jerry Minaya and G-Lane. You'll have your own room. Yes. And you get to bring a mate as well. You go to the races on the Saturday, a harbour cruise on the Sunday there, and, of course, the grand final itself. And it's all taken care of. You don't have to do anything else other than go along, have a good time, and ruin it for the breakfast, fellas. Yeah, totally, man. That's all we ask. Oh! Right. Blair! Yeah.

42:44Mike Minogue:The Hauraki Big Show with Jace, Mike and Keezy. Tune in weekdays at four on Radio Hauraki.

42:50Keyzie:Welcome back, you massive backbones. Hope your Monday's going along very nicely indeed. You're listening to The Big Show, brought to you by Reburger.

42:58Mike Minogue:Serving good times and good food. Dine in or take away Reburger today. Reburger.

43:06We haven't had any dialogue-y ones for ages. Yeah, I know. No, he's busy out there. He's busy. He's got a lot on.

43:14Mike Minogue:Jase, it takes a long time to make them.

43:17Keyzie:Oh, I know. They're very, very good, which is why I miss them. Yeah.

43:21Mike Minogue:You just expect these great things to happen every single day. Fresh thing. It doesn't work like that, man. It's hard yakket. Why is he sucking up to Pugs? I'm not sucking up. I'm just explaining to Jase that they can't just come out every day. Yeah. What about once a week? Sure. Also, Pugs is doing them, like, he just started randomly making them. Can I just make them? Well, now he's holding himself to his own high standards, unfortunately. You know, he's created a, what's he created there, Jay? It's a cross for his own, right for his own back. Yes. Pugs, how do you feel about this, man? These accusations that you're not making big re-bagger stings?

43:57Mike Minogue:I don't know, but everything you guys are saying is wrong.

44:00Keyzie:Can I just, can I also clarify, because you just went off on an absolute tangent there. I was meaning stuff that we've played before, not that he had to create new ones. That's true.

44:12Mike Minogue:Old stuff. You want old stuff? Yes. How come you don't like playing Pugs' cool trailers? I guess that's the bigger question.

44:19Keyzie:It's almost like you're deliberately not doing them because they're so good and you're a little bit envious or something. Yeah, Keezy.

44:28Mike Minogue:It's because I'm envious of Pugs' editing ability and his creativity. And the last thing I know is him coming in here and everyone realising, hey, maybe old Keezy's shithouse. and Pugs is where it's at.

44:39Keyzie:Totally, totally. We wouldn't want that happening. No, certainly not, certainly not. Speaking of Reburger, I had some over the weekend. No, you did. Jeez, it's good. No, you didn't, Jase. Don't lie to us.

44:47Mike Minogue:It is so...

44:47Keyzie:You've never had it.

44:48Mike Minogue:Why do you do this? You literally have never even set foot in one.

44:51Keyzie:Why do I do it? Because it's delicious. It's sort of, I don't know, it's been sarcastic about Reburger as the way to go. Is that what they're paying for around here? I don't know.

45:01Mike Minogue:Yeah. Oh, what did I... I had unicorn meat for dinner. Yum, how's that? They don't sell unicorn meat. So good, Moggy. So good.

45:09Keyzie:A unicorn's an imaginary creature. It doesn't exist.

45:12Mike Minogue:My wife and I, we went and bought some unicorn meat. We cooked it up. It was so young, Moggy. You must try it. What are you even talking about, man? Just made-up foods that never happened. Reeburg is not made up. It's delicious. Here's the chillies. The Hauraki Big Show with Jace, Mike and Keezy. Tune in weekdays at 4 on Radio Hauraki.

45:32Keyzie:LLMNOP there on the Radio Hauraki Big Show this Monday evening. The time is 13 minutes past 6 o 'clock. Fellas, a very special occasion over the weekend as my daughter celebrated her seventh birthday. Ah, that's cute. She didn't want to have a birthday party. She felt that too many other kids were having birthdays at the same time as her. She would have had to share days or share actual birthday parties with people. Yes. And she wasn't prepared to give up the spotlight. Fair enough.

46:00Mike Minogue:I think that is fair, especially for a little kid. That's right. So we went to, she chose a restaurant that she wanted to go to, so we went to that restaurant. Rebeger? Surprisingly not. Oh, wow. Not as reasonably priced as Rebeger, I have to say. Went along, a couple of mates, a few mates here, and, geez, it was just a beautiful time. But I do just want to say, flag it with you, that she did want you guys to come.

46:24Keyzie:Oh, because, yeah, I mean, you mentioned this on Friday, and I was like, oh, said to my wife on Friday night, make sure you don't book out Saturday. Yeah. Oh, wow. Big day, big day. So you left it open. Yeah, totally. Yeah, I don't know why, because I gave you absolutely no inclination, no clue that you would welcome in any way. Well, it's just that I know that your daughter, you know, she loves old Hoity Jane. Oh, she does. You know what I mean? She does. So I just thought, from afar, the fowls. She loves Keezy. She loves Pugsun. Yeah, totally. She wanted you there. She wanted you there. Yeah.

47:01But I said to her, unfortunately, I can't have these guys coming down here when they still owe me cash.

47:10Mike Minogue:Right. So because we owe you money still. Yeah. And then my fear was that you would walk in to this party, this birthday party for a child and not have a present and not be able to pay for any food or drinks and sort of it would be on old Mogey yet again to pony up the cash. Well, I mean, it is her birthday, right? So I probably wouldn't have come in and paid for anything to be honest. I would have bought a present though. Yeah, totally.

47:36Keyzie:I had an extra hundred bucks in my bank account so I'd already spent that on her. So yeah. What'd you get her? I'm not going to tell you, mate. Well, you can tell me though. I'll tell you after the show, Gizzy. No, tell me now. What'd you get her? I'm not going to tell you on the show, mate.

47:50Mike Minogue:No, I'm interested, Jase, to know what you would buy a seven-year-old girl. I bet you are. Yes. Okay, so tell me after the show. Very excited to find out what that is. I personally didn't keep Saturday open, Mogi. A motorbike. for$100. Yeah, I got it off Trade Me. Is it Keezy's? Yes. No, my motorbike is worth more than$100, thank you. I didn't keep Saturday open because I didn't assume I'd be invited to your seven-year-old daughter's party. No, well, that's right. Well, that makes sense. And Keezy, there's a sort of added thing there as well where you didn't invite me to your wedding. Or Jase.

48:26Or Pugs, for that matter. Well, I mean, I hadn't even met Pugs at that stage. Yeah, you'd met me, you'd met Jase. Yeah.

48:32Keyzie:Met us, I mean. We resurrected your career.

48:38Mike Minogue:The Hauraki Big Show. Weekdays from four on Radio Hauraki.

48:42Keyzie:Nirvana there on the Radio Hauraki Big Show this Monday evening. The time is 6.25.

48:49Mike Minogue:Fellas, this Wednesday is July. That's so true, man. That's crazy. Halfway through the year. Crazy. It's crazy, eh? That also means that it's beer and pie July. Oh, my favourite time of year. which of course was brought about in response to Dry July. Everyone was doing Dry July when you give up the beersies or whatever for an entire month. And back then we were like, oh, stuff that. We should do Bear and Pie July instead. Yeah, well, it was a nice one. It was Matt and Jerry on breakfast, wasn't it? Any opportunity to get on the hammer? Shockin' bastards. They were. But they were certainly pioneering in that space.

49:20Mike Minogue:So Wednesday is the 1st of July. That means Bear and Pie July is officially underway, celebrating the nation's best combo, a bear and a pie, and encouraging you to go out to your local bakeries and bars and things like that and support local and get amongst their delicious produce. And we've got an amazing prize to give away next month as well. Oh, great. How good, man? Well, I'm not going to say. All I'll say is that your pockets will treasure it, is what it's written here. So I don't know what that means. Interesting. All I know is thinking about pie is making me very hungry. Yeah. This week we've got a pie that we're going to be having one night.

49:55Mike Minogue:It's like a chicken and mushroom pie. Oh. A big family one. Ooh. I'm very excited for that. Do you remember we had those, maybe it was last year, we had those ones that got flying up from the South Island. There was that special pie joint. Do you remember that? Yes, I do. Was that last year or eight years ago? That was last year. It was last year. It was very exotic they were, like mountain goat. That's right. And sort of. Mountain oysters. Yes. No, it was mountain, I remember that one. It was mountain goat something.

50:20Keyzie:What are they called? Tars. Tars. That's right. Wild tar. Yeah, wild tar. And something else. Yes. But they were bloody good. They were real good. Funnily enough, Kesey, my wife and I bought a chicken and mushroom big pie today too. Probably from the same joint that you did. Really? Yeah. Oh, wow. Yeah, I've got one as well. We've got one too. We're all having chicken bacon pie. Yeah, yeah. I'm going to have mine later in the week though probably. Yeah, I'll probably have mine later in the week as well. Tonight we're having some kind of a three cheese debacle because we're getting onto this vegetarian set up of eating.

50:52And I've got the food, whatever it is, delivery service. and then if you don't eat meat, the main thing you eat is cheese.

51:01Keyzie:Halloumi? No. How good? Just a three-cheese stew or something, you know what I mean? A three-cheese stew? Something like that. Oh, it's not only cheese. Are you eating a bowl of cheese? Yeah, it's just a bowl of melted cheese. Sounds good to me. It sounds like Moggy's going to get scurvy again. With a crusty loaf of bread maybe. Yeah, absolutely. It does have that. But, yeah, it is interesting to me anyway, so we'll see how we go. I'll let you know tomorrow.

51:26Mike Minogue:Interestingly, my wife at the end of last week brought home something which made me very, very, very excited. It was a family-sized ready-made lasagna that goes in the oven there, and for some reason that fired me right up. Yeah, you love it, eh? Well, I don't love it. Yeah, you do. I really like it. Fired you right up. Yeah. Yeah, I love it, eh?

51:45Keyzie:I prefer to make my own lasagna personally. I've never come across one that is better than the one that I make.

51:51Mike Minogue:Of course. The Hauraki Big Show with Jase, Mike and Keezy. Tune in weekdays at four on Radio Hauraki.

52:17Keyzie:Well, there you go. That's the Big Show done and does it for your Monday night. What's the podcast outro clip today, Keezy? Oh, Keezy.

52:23Mike Minogue:You did that part fast, man. You know if you cut out the douche to douche to douche, we could get straight to it. Okay. Podcast clip today is all about missing out, fellas, and it comes out at 7.30 tonight.

52:34Keyzie:We missed it. We were meant to go on Friday, so he got him all tickets. Oh, great. When are you going? Wednesday. That's a good day. So that's midday or at night? What do you mean at midday?

52:46Mike Minogue:Why would they do a show at midday? Because he said that's a good day. And I was like, okay, it must be a midday then. A midday theatre show? I don't f***ing know. A Wednesday matinee, isn't that a thing? God, I'm not like a... When are you going Wednesday night?

53:02Keyzie:I don't want to talk about it anymore.

53:07Keyzie:Yes, my wife booked tickets for a theatre show and a Friday just gone, thinking it's next Friday. Well, don't ruin it, man. People have got to listen to the... Oh, that's only a part. That is 1 % of what was a brilliant podcast. That's better. Hey, Moggy, what's the plan tonight, mate? I'm going to go home. I've got a book to read, but I also want to watch something. You know what I want, man? I just want to watch a, God forbid, something funny. You know what I might do? I might watch that thing that you've been watching, that Fassbender thing, The Agency. Oh, yes, yes. I love a thriller. Yeah.

53:40Keyzie:Love a thriller, so I might give that around. And Fassbender is your doppelganger as far as I'm concerned. And he's a good actor. I like him. No, he's not. Yeah, he is, man. He looks a lot like him. A lot of people stop me and they say, you're like a great-looking Michael Fassbender. There you go. Like a hot Michael Fassbender.

53:55Mike Minogue:There you go.

53:56Keyzie:Keezy, what are you up to?

53:58Mike Minogue:My wife just texts, we're having steak with mushrooms on it. Oh, no. Chips and veggies. Oh, no.

54:05Keyzie:That's like my nightmare meal.

54:07Mike Minogue:I'm sure a lot of people are listening. What kind of veggies? That's a pretty yummy meal. I'm not sure. Probably like broccolini or something. You should pull that out of your ass. Well, I just remembered just then what was in the fridge, and I think I saw broccolini. Oh, yeah. So probably that. Is there any relation to Mussolini? No. Interesting question. Don't think so. But steak with mushroom on it, delicious. Steak and mushroom. You know, if I'm at a restaurant, they do a lot of this over in Australia, you can have your peppercorn sauce or your mushroom, and there's one other they run. Bichamel.

54:38Probably just a Bichamel.

54:42Mike Minogue:That's part of a lasagna, isn't it, Bichamel sauce? Yeah, cool. Wrap it up, Keezy. Chimichurri? Chimichurri, what are you doing, Jase?

54:50Keyzie:Waiting for you to stop rambling on about foul mutton-like steak. And I'm going to watch the last day of the final test series, test in the series against England. Oh, there you go. Good stuff. I'm off to home to have enchilada. Enchilada. Hey, check out the Instagram, check out the podcast. Till tomorrow, see you later. Goodbye.