FULL SHOW: The Keyzie Asylum

10:11Mike Minogue:If it wins. Yeah, well, that's the reason why we've got the pigeon man himself, Pigeon Tim, on the line with us. G'day, Tim. How's it going, mate?

10:19Keyzie:G'day, guys. How are you? Are you well today? Yeah, good, thanks, mate. Can't complain.

10:23Mike Minogue:Good as gold, Tim. All excited.

10:24Keyzie:Big race this weekend.

10:25Mike Minogue:Yeah. All underway. Big race, Tim. So where is the race actually going? What's the finish point? What's the start point?

10:32Keyzie:The start point is Ashburton, and these are all racing homing pigeons. So they're travelling home. Their home base is Omaru. It's about 150 k's. So, yeah, bring it on. So just to explain it for the layman out there that doesn't understand pigeon racing, what you do is you take all these pigeons, you drive them as far away as possible as you can from their home, You sort of spin them around and around so they're confused. You let them out, and then you find out whether they know enough to get home or not. And surprisingly, they do. It's unreal, isn't it? Yeah. No, it's amazing. So, Tim, say our pigeon, the big show pigeon, was to win.

11:14Keyzie:What sort of cash are we looking at here? We're talking big dividends here, boys. Big dividends indeed. $1 ,000 for first. Oh, yeah. 800 for second, 600 for third, 400 for fourth, 200 for fifth, and 100 for sixth. And we pay it to 15th place for$100. It's not bad, is it? And also, at the end of it, it's an eight-race series. At the end of it all, are we talking about some kind of a cup with something engraved in it? Two, right? There is. 100%. Yeah. 10th for glory. That's what you're aiming for. Get your name on the cup.

11:48Mike Minogue:Right. But Pigeon Tim, the man who's organised the racing pigeon for the big show, we haven't actually told you the name of the pigeon yet. No, you haven't. It's currently called Pigeon 109. And Tim, just confirming, you're not a listener of this show, are you? I'm not.

12:04Keyzie:Shame on you, Tim. Shame on you. Okay.

12:08Mike Minogue:I am now. Yeah, of course. But the reason I ask you that is because I'm about to hit you with potentially the most confusing pigeon name you've ever heard. Are you ready for it? I'm looking forward to it. Go, guys. Okay, have you got a pen? I do. Okay, the name of our pigeon is Keezy on all wings looking over his beak with me. Keezy. Keezy on all wings looking over his beak at me.

12:35Keyzie:This sounds great. It's outstanding.

12:37Mike Minogue:Yeah, yeah, thanks, mate. Looking over his beak with me. Keezy. We'll put it in an email just so you don't get it wrong because I'll be spewing if that gets engraved on the cup and it's not 100 % accurate.

12:50Keyzie:Every week I read out the results and we put it on our Facebook page, on our Hector Blacks Lounge Bar Facebook page. And this is going to be an award winner to read this out, isn't it? Yeah, beautiful.

13:01Mike Minogue:Look, it's very confusing, Tim. I will send you the full name just so you've got it locked in there properly, mate. Before we go as well, how is Pigeon109, a.k.a. Keezy on all wings, looking over his beak with me, Keezy? How's he looking ahead of the big race this weekend?

13:14Keyzie:And, yeah, bang on. I've been talking to the trainer, and I asked specifically about your bird. Now, they're a wee bit worried. We're going to have a wee bit of a headwind for Saturday's race, but yours is looking primed and ready. And, look, it's as fit as a flying pigeon.

13:30Mike Minogue:Yeah, right. Can I ask you how you can tell the difference between a pigeon that's primed and ready and one that doesn't know up from down?

13:37Keyzie:You looked him in the eye. Oh, yeah. You were doing it wrong.

13:42Mike Minogue:I don't know where you've been looking at them, but you've been doing it wrong. Hey, look, Pidge and Tim, mate, thank you so much for coming on once again. Also, big shout-out too. Tim runs Hector Black's, the bar down there in Timaru. Oh, yeah. I understand the reception of Hauraki down there, the radio reception's not the greatest. So if you're coming from out of town and you want something good to go when you're heading to Timaru, head up Hector Black's. But, Tim, can we have a chat to you again next week, maybe on the Monday, and you can reveal the results to us?

14:06Keyzie:Absolutely, 100%, boys. Looking forward to it. Good on you, mate. Good on you, mate. Thanks, Pidge and Tim. We'll talk to you next week.

14:12Mike Minogue:Bloody exciting stuff, fellas.

14:14Keyzie:Well, I mean, you know, if he wins, that's 500 each for us. No, Jase, I didn't agree to that. And then we've, you know, we've more than quadrupled what we've invested. We've quintupled.

14:24Mike Minogue:Yes. Actually, prior to that chat, we were discussing who should be the manager. I've had a great text here on 3483. I actually agree with it. They're saying, Jase, you should be the manager. Reason being that you're a similar height to the pigeon and you've got spindly legs and a massive beak. So weird. How do you feel about that? The Hauraki Big Show with Jase, Mike and Kesey. Tune in weekdays at four on Radio Hauraki.

14:49Keyzie:Yes, indeed, REM there on the Hauraki Big Show this Thursday afternoon. The time is 4.52. Fellas, let's talk TV. What's on the telly with Mike Minogue?

15:06Yeah.

15:07Keyzie:Yeah. That's right. Woo! Last night, fellas, I watched another one of those Untold. I haven't got the title, and that's bad preparation for me, fellas. But do you remember a few years ago, there was four students that were, they came to a grisly end on a U.S. campus, a university campus. Yeah, anyway, well, it happened like three years ago, maybe? Between two to four years ago. Anyway, young people and an intruder came into the house, and things got pretty ugly from there on in. Three episodes. Three episodes on Netflix there. And I was sort of watching it, and I'm going, yeah, this isn't entertaining as such.

15:54I sort of like to gloss over the grisly details. Yes. And get to the manhunt. I like the catching of. Yeah. I don't like the sort of going over the grisly details with a fine-tooth comb. you know what I mean? Yes. So it's three episodes and it's sort of towards the back half of the second episode and the third episode that's when you get to the parts that I like but worth a watch I don't know if you know this but there's some shocking bastards out there. Oh for sure Shocking bastards. Yes. I think it's worth a watch if you're into those things. I won't give it any buzzies I won't give it any buzzies but if you like that sort of thing give it a watch Netflix.

16:33Keyzie:I carried on with my sort of comfort viewing because, you know, my wife and I get into that terrible position of scrolling through stuff and going, what about this, what about this? And it drives me insane. So what we do in that situation is go back to something that we know is really good. Yeah. And then we watch it. What's that, Jase? So we watched an old movie, Romancing the Bone. And got it. It's a hell of a film.

17:04Mike Minogue:I feel like you've watched that at least 10 times over the history of our show

17:08Keyzie:You know it's one of those movies where you go back to it again And you see something different in it Do you? You know what I mean?

17:18Mike Minogue:Where did you watch it?

17:19Keyzie:I was in the lounge And I was saying to my wife She said I don't remember that happening the last time we watched that And she said no, no, neither Do you know what's interesting about this movie Is that that's a play on a movie called Romancing the Stone which nobody that's listening will remember. Came out in like 1983, that movie, and nobody will have any recollection of it. Actually, funnily enough, I watched that on the RCM channel the other day. It's actually a very sexy movie. It's a very sexy movie. Your Michael Douglas, your Kathleen Turner, and your Danny DeVito. It's great. It's bloody great stuff.

17:54Yeah, it's really, really good.

17:55Keyzie:Not as good, obviously, as... Romancing the Bone. Look, I've got to give it a solid 4.78 buzzies. We're getting into two decimal places now, are we?

18:07Mike Minogue:Jason's doing what he's done to the trauma. He's just ruining this segment now. That's what he's doing. Yeah. 100%. He's taking a show out of the knees. He is. So just looked it up. Romancing the Bone came out in 1984. It genuinely is an adult film. Right. It stars Barbie Dahl, D-A-H-L, and George Payne. Yeah, so it's a real adult film there, Jase

18:29Keyzie:Yeah, well, obviously I'm not just making this up, Keezy

18:33Mike Minogue:No, of course not

18:34Keyzie:So, yeah, 4.78 buzzies

18:37Mike Minogue:I watched Outrageous Fortune Was that amazing? Yeah, it was good No, I just made it up, fellas, for attention What's happening after five, Jase?

18:48Keyzie:Well, look Apparently there's been some controversy Ree the Throbber. Oh. And apparently you guys want to chat to me about something with regards to the Throbber.

19:01Mike Minogue:I think I just want you off the show completely. The Hauraki Big Show with Jase, Mike and Keezy. Tune in weekdays at four on Radio Hauraki.

19:11Keyzie:Welcome back, you massive bank bones. Hope your Thursday's absolutely going off. You're listening to The Big Show, incidentally, brought to you by Ree Baker. Ree Baker.

19:21Mike Minogue:Serving good times and good food. Dine in or take away Reeburger today. One, one, one. What's your emergency? I'm sorry. I really need help. I just think it's really important that everyone knows just how delicious Reeburger is because obviously their stuff's handcrafted and they do these loaded fries and gourmet. I just know that people know that they're changing the game

19:48Keyzie:because it's so yum.

19:57Keyzie:That's good stuff.

19:59Mike Minogue:You can't pause like that for about five seconds and then just say it's good stuff.

20:02Keyzie:No, I was just enjoying it. The afterglow. How was your weird pumpkin curry last night? Oh, yes.

20:11Mike Minogue:What was weird about it? Well, it was sort of race-based, wasn't it? Yeah, yeah. Was it Indian-style curry, correct? Yeah, what made it Indian-style again? Because famously, they don't have pumpkins in India. Okay, I'm Googling this. Keezy, we're trying to do a radio show, mate. Come on, man. Now's not the time for Google Fingers. Come on, Dr. Google Fingers is back at it. For anyone who's never heard that nickname, it's five years old. Yes, India has plenty of pumpkins. It is actually the second largest producer of pumpkins in the world, Mogi. According to who? Google. Come on, man. You've got to wake up, man.

20:46Mike Minogue:It was a pumpkin-style curry with lentil. A pumpkin-style curry? It was an Indian style pumpkin curry They don't have lentils in India, man Don't Don't start this shit, man It was fine, okay? My answer is it was fine It was fine What else did you have with it, though? Rice And With a soup This is a curry You had a pumpkin soup With rice? What is this? I feel like a bit of frickin' An asylum or something

21:18Keyzie:Yeah, it's getting a bit crazy. Hey, now listen. Oh, it says he had soup.

21:24Mike Minogue:Is that where we're at as a show?

21:30Keyzie:Now listen. What? Apparently there's been some controversy. Re the thrubber. And we'll address that next because I'm fired up.

21:39Mike Minogue:Yeah, right. I'm fired up. But in the meantime. If you're more fired up about the thrubber, we wouldn't have this controversy.

21:45Keyzie:Here's Velvet Revolver.

21:48Mike Minogue:The Hauraki Big Show with Jace, Mike and Keezy. Tune in weekdays at four on Radio Hauraki.

21:54Keyzie:Yes, indeed, the butthole surfers there on the Hauraki Big Show this Thursday evening. The time is 5.14.

22:01Mike Minogue:Hey, Pugs is here.

22:02Keyzie:Ooh, it's Pugs. Afternoon, fellas. How are you? Thanks for having me. Why are you here?

22:10Mike Minogue:I'll tell you why he's here, mate.

22:12Keyzie:Show meeting! Show meeting! Show me the meeting! The show meeting is now in progress.

22:23Mike Minogue:The reason part, we're all gathered here today for something that I think a lot of people are texting in on 3483. It's something we've noticed over the past weeks, months even, that a beloved part of our show known as the Friday Throbber is being, I don't even know how to describe it. It's been massively disrespected by a certain member of the Haraki Big Show. Oh, yeah. Is this something that's been bugging you? Thank you, Moggy. It's been bugging me. It's been bugging me. I guess that means you've probably got a bone to pick. Yeah, with Hoity J.

23:02Keyzie:I got a bone to pick. What, because I was just about to say, actually, it's not Pudge's fault. He doesn't get to do it. What?

23:09Mike Minogue:By the way, Hoity J, a.k.a. the JizzBot.

23:18Mike Minogue:Cool so that's five stings now

23:23Keyzie:I'm sorry

23:25Mike Minogue:What's the issue? Why are you not Why are you not taking the thromber seriously man? What are you doing? You're just phoning in And you're not even listening to songs And you're cracking up about it You know you're laughing at the fact You don't even know these songs You're nominating shitters You've got five wins on the year You've got like 50 asterisks You've been disqualified once And you've got a small d And you've got a small d Yeah What's going on, man? What is going on?

23:51Keyzie:Look, I'd like to take this opportunity, if I may, to formally apologise.

23:58Mike Minogue:Okay, cool.

23:59Keyzie:I've been, it's fair to say, less than enthusiastic with regards to Throbber. Indeed, you'll often find me on a Friday afternoon thinking about the throbber and going,

24:18Keyzie:God, a bloody throbber. I walk around the CBD thinking, oh, the bloody throbber. And so I think it's fair to say that I have been less enthusiastic and very cavalier, you might say, with the choices that I've made. and often I think to myself, oh, that'll do.

24:39Mike Minogue:That is your attitude. That'll do.

24:41Keyzie:And I fully understand what you're all saying here is that I'm disrespecting a massive institution of the show.

24:49Mike Minogue:Can I just say, it's not just us, Jase. The people are pissed off about it. I get messages on the Instagram at Hauraki Big Show. Do you know how many people out there would be honoured and thrilled to get to choose a song that might get played on Radio Hauraki? It's so exciting. It's a cornerstone of the big show since its origin, I would say. Or near about. Seriously, since the first week of the big show. And we've actually ended up chopping and changing what the throbber is just to accommodate you, Jase, and your complete lack of enthusiasm. So now we've got it where the audience are providing us with songs.

25:24And I'll be honest, I think we've got to get rid of that. I think we've got to go back to the original. It's up to us to choose the songs and provide the songs and have them voted on. and if certain members aren't bringing great tunes to the party, then the voting will show that. The voting will show that.

25:40Mike Minogue:The thing is, Mogi, even when the audience was sending through suggestions, Jase wouldn't even listen to the song. He'd just go, yeah, that'll do. He'd just point at one of the texts. Yeah, that's true. What about a red card system? You know? Where, say, Hoodie J has... Or anybody, sorry. Anybody in the team has a shitter. Someone's not showing interest. that universally it's decided that they did not care about the problem. Fellas, sorry, Jase, if I can just... A red card, you're out for the next week. Oh, that week and the next week. Or something like that. So you're out of that game, that week's round, and then you're banned for a week as well.

26:13Yeah, I like that, Pugs.

26:14Mike Minogue:I like that a lot. I feel like this is rewarding Jase's behaviour. Well, I'd rather somebody did it that was enthusiastic,

26:19Keyzie:whether that's an audience member or not. Pugs, it could be you. Obviously, I love it. Fellas, can I just say, I hear you. Kia Kaha.

26:30Mike Minogue:Don't stop throwing around Kia Kaha's randomly. Just take him out now, man. It's lost all meaning for me. Just pack it up.

26:36Keyzie:And I vow, from this day forward, he's going to pick a shitter tomorrow. I am going to bring bangers every Friday afternoon. Jase. Fair not.

26:50Mike Minogue:Fair not. Okay. Alexander the Great, or whoever you're trying to be right now. So tomorrow if you don't bring a banger You are banned for one week And Pugs will be taking your place alright Okay

27:03Keyzie:That sounds really reasonable and fair

27:06Mike Minogue:Also shout out to Jase for yet another apology Without saying the word sorry Yeah the master Yeah you are the master at that The Hauraki Big Show with Jase, Mike and Keezy Tune in weekdays at 4 On Radio Hauraki

27:24Mike Minogue:It's Bear and Pie July on Radio Hovac.

27:28Keyzie:Yes, indeed. In the last days we are, so we're doing two a day at the moment. Two a show. Two a show. And the people are loving it, fielos.

27:37Mike Minogue:Well, they are. The only people that aren't loving it is, you remember Dad from Dad's Pies? Yes. Oh, yeah. Remember how Dad, he's got a bit of, he gets in a hurrah of a boot. Yeah, he gets pretty fired up, for sure. He's literally emailed again and been like, Hey, can you let Jase know that Dad's, that there's a serious amount of pot pride. Pot pride? What's that? Is he a bit of a... He's got a stutter, so I'm just passing on what he said. Oh, right. There's a serious amount of pride baked into every dad's pie, and he was like... He did that in an email and stuttered. Yeah, voice note. Oh, voice note.

28:08Mike Minogue:Right, okay. It's pretty lazy like that. Can you do that on email? It says he's driving and stuff, but what's that?

28:13Keyzie:Can you do that on email?

28:15Mike Minogue:Yeah, 100 % jokes.

28:16Keyzie:Oh, okay. Good stuff. Let's go to the phone line. G'day, Stephanie. How's life? It's pretty good, pretty good. Yeah, good stuff. Wow, how's Whangarei today? Is it beautiful up there? It is. It was a bit chilly, but yeah, it stayed nice and crisp all day. Yeah, nice. Tell me, Steph. Can I call you Steph? You can call me whatever. Okay, cool. What do you do for a crust, Steph? I work in New Car Sales Admin. Oh, okay. Oh, backbone. Backbone, Steph. Oh, absolutely. People that work in New Car Sales Admin are the backbone of this country, and I won't hear a word against them. Yeah, we're a tough bunch.

29:00Keyzie:Steph, when you're having a bit of a smoko, taking a little break there, what sort of party do you like to run with? I'm a mince and cheese with sauce. Oh, yeah. Yeah, nothing wrong with that. That's good eating right there. Now, can I ask you, Steph, a bit of a personal question, but are you married? I am. What did you do your first dance to? Can I ask you that? What was the song? Probably, oh, it was some trucking song. Like, my husband's a trucker, and they played some old hillbilly truck song. Oh, yeah. I think I know.

29:34Mike Minogue:Is it the song from Smokey and the Bandit or one of those? I think I know the song.

29:37Keyzie:I think it could be. Yeah, that's a tune. It was 28 years ago. Oh, congrats. Did you cut some shapes, Steph? What's that? Did you cut some shapes? Did you burn up the dance floor? Oh, no, I still had a few nerves going on. Yeah, yeah, yeah. What have I done? What have I done? Well, great news, Steph. You've just won yourself$250 cash. How does that sound? That sounds fantastic.

30:04Mike Minogue:Good on you, mate. Steph, just quickly, was it that Trucking Convoy song from 1975?

30:08Keyzie:Yes, that's it. Yes. We always bust out when someone's having a few beers. Yeah. So when someone's having a few beers or you get married. Yeah, boom.

30:18Mike Minogue:Chuck on the Convoy song. Good on you, Steph. You hold the line and Pug Sam will hand you that cash in person, all right? Oh, fabulous. Good on you, mate. Good on you, Steph. Good on you, Steph. Random question, Moggy. Yeah, mate. Oh, yeah. Outside the box. I don't know what made me think of that, but maybe that's a question we could ask because it's quite like that. Have you ever heard that before? No. I've never heard that before.

30:41Keyzie:Did you guys have a first dance? Because we didn't do that at our wedding. Well, you were. You were off your face, mate. Staggering bastard you were. Yeah, I did. I did, ours was to Sweet Texas, Sweet something or other, by The Last Shadow Puppets, lead singer's Alex Turner. Great tune, absolutely great tune. And my mate's band played it live, but he played it. We had a dance sorted out for it that we learned. Yes. But my mate played it at like triple speed. I don't know why he did that, but we looked like fools.

31:14Mike Minogue:So Mogi was out there effing and jeffing trying to keep up with it. That's so funny. Mine was Can't Take My Eyes Off Of You by Frankie Valli.

31:22Keyzie:Yeah. What? Really? What do you mean really? Actually, that's got to be a good song for a thromber.

31:27Mike Minogue:No, it isn't, Jake. The Hauraki Big Show with Jace, Mike, and Keezy. Tune in weekdays at four on Radio Hauraki.

31:36Keyzie:The darkness there on the Hauraki Big Show this Thursday evening. The time is 5.53. I just forgot what day it was, just temporarily. Peppers are the best of us, man.

31:47Mike Minogue:I know what you were doing. You were doing a goat impression.

31:50Keyzie:Yes, I was actually, Keezy.

31:52Mike Minogue:Yeah, yeah, yeah, which is a great professional radio segue because the goat is returning the greatest of all time countdown here at Hauraki. Yes. A thousand songs ranked in order by the Hauraki listeners. All you have to do is text GOAT to 3483. We'll send you out a link there. You vote, and then it's pretty easy. Whichever song gets the most votes is nominated to be the greatest song of all time. What happens if there's a tie, Keezy? If there's a tie? Someone's got equal votes What happens then? Alphabetical? Or year of release? What are we doing? I think I decide Oh is that on you? Yeah yeah I'm happy with that Well the boss came up to me and said

32:27Keyzie:Look if we have a tied situation Hoity J Because you know you love your music We're going to make it that you be the tiebreaker Right okay Well that's good to know

32:36Mike Minogue:Because for example Let's just say hypothetical A couple of past winners You know you've got Smells Like Teen Spirit Yes Nirvana And then you might have Black by Pearl Jam Thank you Yeah yeah So Hoity J Okay, Nirvana and Pearl Jam, they're tied for first place. Which one do you want to be the winner?

32:51Keyzie:And then I would go, the winner of the GOAT for 2026 is Black by Pearl Jam.

32:59Mike Minogue:Right, okay. Nice. Yeah, yeah. Is that because you prefer Pearl Jam? Yes, I do. Yeah, okay. I like it. Okay. Well, the best way to ensure that that does not happen is by texting GOAT to 3483. Lock your votes in. It's open now until Sunday, August 16th. Then we shut it all down and put together the playlist. and we rip into the countdown 9am Monday morning on the August 17th there. Bloody good. Only a few weeks away.

33:23Keyzie:I love me a countdown, fellas. I love me a countdown. Yeah, I look forward to this every single year. Now, people sometimes, they say, well, how can you have a new goat every single year? But for me, it changes all the time. The music I love, it changes year on year on year on year. So the thing that I felt was a goat this year is actually different than what I thought was a goat last year, and so on, et cetera, et cetera.

33:42Mike Minogue:Totally. Mine's very different this year, and mine is heavily influenced by a recent concert that we went to. That's right, and these are the things that happen. Yeah, absolutely that. And then when, you know, there might be a musician that passes away and then they get thrashed. Like Ozzy Osbourne. Like Ozzy Osbourne. Recently as well, yeah. That's right, they have a big influence, Jase, don't they? I know you're a big fan. Who? Of what? Ozzy Osbourne, you love him.

34:03Keyzie:Oh, yeah. Hey, now listen, coming up after six o 'clock, we've got a bit of a sinkhole update from old Mogie, and we've got some breaking news too.

34:14Mike Minogue:The Hauraki Big Show with Jace, Mike and Keezy. Tune in weekdays at four on Radio Hauraki.

34:20Keyzie:Welcome back, you massive backbones. Hope your Thursday's going along very nicely indeed. You're listening to The Big Show, by the way, brought to you by Reburger.

34:29Mike Minogue:Beef, chicken, vegan and vegetarian options. Reburger are redefining the norm. Reburger.

34:35Keyzie:What's on the dinner plate tonight, Moogie? That's a great question from you, Hoody J there. Oh, actually, I think I do know. I think I'm having an Indian-style korma. Indian-style korma there. What makes it Indian-style? The fact that a korma's an Indian dish. Yeah, from southern India there, Jason. They serve that with rice kesey, a little rice number. Wow. Just like you had with your soup last night.

34:59Mike Minogue:I didn't have soup. I had a pumpkin curry. You sure? Okay, you can have pumpkin in more ways than just soup. In more ways? More ways than just soup. Fellas, fellas. Mores, like the eel. Fellas. What, Jason?

35:14Keyzie:I'm in a bit of a dilemma, actually, because...

35:16Mike Minogue:Do you want to know what Jason's dilemma is? Oh, yeah. He wants to have a hot pot.

35:20Keyzie:Oh, yeah. Well, it's not really my dilemma. It's just that my wife and I were going to meet for dinner. Right. And I said, it's on you, babe. You decide. And she's like, oh, I hate deciding. You know, and I'm like, well, you know, we could, you know, because if you can't think of anything, I've got an option. Can I suggest to you, Jase, that you don't do a hot pot? You can suggest it, yes. Okay, because you might find yourself having multiple hot pots in a very short amount of time. And getting sick of it. With an upcoming come dine with me happening. Oh. You see what I mean? I don't know, but that might.

35:56You see what I'm saying? I hear what you're saying. So I would hate for somebody to get marked down because somebody can't get a snout out of a hot pot trough. You see what I'm saying?

36:05Mike Minogue:And for listeners that aren't aware, Jase is addicted to hot pot. There's this one restaurant in the Auckland CBD. He's been there like a billion times in the last couple of months.

36:13Keyzie:Not a billion, heezy. Sorry, a billion. Come on, man.

36:17Mike Minogue:I'm having tacos.

36:18Keyzie:Hey, oh, yeah, good. Yum. Yeah, I like those ones, but my family doesn't like them, so I never get to eat them.

36:24Mike Minogue:Oh, it sucks, man.

36:24Keyzie:It really sucks. Hey, but coming up, we've got a bit of an update on Mogi Sinkhole. Yes. Just down the street from him. People have been stropping me in the street about this.

36:34Mike Minogue:They've been stropping you, have they?

36:35Keyzie:Bloody outrageous. Here's the black keys.

36:38Mike Minogue:The Hauraki Big Show with Jase, Mike and Kesey. Tune in weekdays at four on Radio Hauraki.

36:45Keyzie:Yes, indeed, Marcy. Playground there on the Hauraki Big Show this Thursday evening. The time, 11 minutes past six o 'clock. Fellas, as you well know, and it's been right across the news over the last sort of week, there's a massive sinkhole that's opened up right outside my house. Yes. It's massive. 10 metres by 10 metres. Wow, it's got bigger. Oh, it's kiesy. You should see the size of this bastard. Wow. Probably 10 to 15 metres deep. Now, this happened because it's sort of, the street is sort of a, sits in a basin somewhat. So when we had the huge rains three years ago, the floods sort of pulled there, and it ended up causing a sinkhole there.

37:28But the council sorted it out by putting a steel plate over the hole. Yes. So that was all sorted. But lo and behold, more rain over the last three years has resulted in this sinkhole getting absolutely massive. Now, we were talking on the show yesterday about trying to sort it out by filling it up with grass clippings. What do we have there? Grass clippings, old nappies. Yes, catty litter. Yeah, I put my catty litter, that's right. I put my old Toyota Aqua in there. There's some asbestos in there. Just anything that people have got, they can just come along and just drop it in the hole, try and fill it up.

38:03So last night, now the councillor has arrived. They are fixing it. That's great. So they've fenced it all off. They've shut the street so you can't get out that street anymore. And they've sort of spent the first three days getting a port-a-com on site, a lunch, a smoko port-a-com. Yes. So they ain't leaving any time soon. I've never seen that. So that's good that that's there. Now, what I didn't know until last night when I got woken up at 3 o 'clock in the morning is they're working 24 hours a day. 24 hours a day. So they're out there last night with diggers and trucks and vans and everyone's having a laugh and enjoying themselves.

38:42So apparently this work is going to be going for 24 hours a day, seven days a week for the next two months. Now, of course, it's not going to take two months. It'll probably take four months. Yeah.

38:52Keyzie:I'd say a couple of years probably if it's a council sort of thing. She's a big job. But I'm just sort of wondering what I should do because I like sleeping, if I can. And so I was awake last night from 3 o 'clock. So I've been awake since 3 o 'clock this morning. But I just wondered if anybody's got any ideas, 3, 4, 8, 3, what I can do to either reduce the noise outside or make it so that I can sleep inside. Yeah. Actually, just on you waking up at 3, that might have been me, actually. Oh, yeah. Because I got some stuff out of our storage that we wanted to get rid of. Oh, you were dumping it.

39:29Keyzie:Yeah, I was dumping it in the sinkhole there. I mean, the sinkhole. So that might have been me. But people were lurking. Yeah. Apologies, Moggy. Were people working when you did that, though? Oh, they stopped while I dumped it all in there. Yeah, right. Actually, they might have been on Smoko. Yeah, yeah, true. They might have been having a coffee. Yeah, that massive, that Smoko portacom.

39:48Mike Minogue:Yes. True story. One of my old, my final flat I lived in before I moved in with my wife was for two weeks straight, there was 24-hour works outside. Right. And the front of our house, my bedroom, was right by the road. And because of the style of road, it was classified as a certain type of road, which meant they could work on it all through the night, diggers, steamrollers, all sorts of stuff. It was crazy. It is interesting, isn't it? Because it's going to be more residential. I mean, don't get me wrong, I love it. I love it. But some of my elderly neighbours, they're not into it at all. Yes.

40:21But it is an interesting one that you let it sit there for three years. and once it gets absolutely terrible, then you think, oh, we'll start working 24-7 to get it sorted out.

40:31Mike Minogue:How many people are there working on it? Honestly, there was about 45 there last night. 45 people? 45 people. And then you've got all the spectators, so there's another 100 spectators because people love a gawk. Then you've got probably another 200 to 300 people turning up every hour just dumping stuff in it as well. Wow.

40:47Keyzie:You've also got the, you know, and then you're looking at 150 people going through all the stuff that people have dumped trying to find treasures. Yeah, that's right. You know what I mean? Treasure hunters are turning up as well.

40:58Mike Minogue:There's like 2 ,000 people looking at Mogi's stink hole. Oh, they're loving it. Yeah, they're getting right in there, Keezy. The Hauraki Big Show with Jace, Mike and Keezy. Tune in weekdays at 4 on Radio Hauraki.

41:09Keyzie:Yes, indeed. The Black Crows there on the Hauraki Big Show this Thursday evening. The time, 23 minutes past 6 o 'clock.

41:16Mike Minogue:Fellas, we've teamed up with Hire a Hubby again, the Everything Experts, to tackle the jobs you've been putting off around the house. We've done a few jobs with these feelers, and this time they've given us a$1 ,000 Hire a Hubby voucher to give away. We'll be doing that tomorrow. Yes. Oh, is that tomorrow? Yes. Wow. In the meantime, if you have a big job that needs doing, text the word hubby, H-U-B-B-Y, to 3483, and then Chuck, after the word hubby, give us some details on the job that you need doing. $1 ,000, we'll be calling someone tomorrow, and that could sort out a huge job if need be. Totes.

41:47Mike Minogue:Upgrade your living space without the blunders. Real renos from real hubby legends. Oh, that's a good call. It is. I just made that up. Yeah, it's really good. Hey, just looking through some of the texts that have come through here. Someone needs a garden bed built. A garden bed. You don't want to sleep in the garden because you'll find that you get rained on. No, totally. It's better off sleeping inside, brother. No, that's really. That's a word to the wise.

42:11Keyzie:That sounds like the sort of thing I could do. What, build a bed? Well, yeah, because, you know, I love my gardens, my tamatis. I very much missed, you know, my little garden, actually. So, you know, I could whack that up for them if they needed it.

42:25Mike Minogue:Like a boxed sort of garden? Yeah, like a boxed veggie patch. Yeah, yeah. I don't think you could do that.

42:31Keyzie:It's called a raised garden. Raised garden. There you go.

42:35Mike Minogue:So, Mogey, sorry, not a bed, like a sleeping bed.

42:37Keyzie:Yeah, yeah, yeah. It's actually very easy, Mogey. I've actually done that in my own house. You just need a couple of corner posts, then you get your planks of wood and just smack them onto the corner posts there. I'm worried about you trying to dig holes for the posts. Who does that for you? You get a man over? It's got a pointed end and you just bang them into the ground. Yeah, but I'm worried about your hand-eye coordination. Oh, that's fair. I don't think you could build that thing you're describing. I did exactly that at my house. Yeah? Yeah. Then what states are they in now? Yeah. It's a bit overgrown now, but that's because Hoity J's not there.

43:10Mike Minogue:All the pegs have fallen out straight away. Someone else here needs a garden shed built.

43:14Keyzie:Oh, you see, that's something I could do because I've got a garden shed. That's true.

43:18Mike Minogue:So what would you do to start?

43:20Keyzie:I bang a couple of stakes in the ground, get some corrugated iron, and nail those onto the stakes. Put a roof on the top of it, and then, boom, you've got yourself a garden shed. And so you can put a padlock on it as well because there's thieving bastards around. You've got to be careful. Totally, man. You might want to put some WD-40 on that door. No, I don't because I leave that on there in case those thieving bastards come around and I can hear them because it goes...

43:51Mike Minogue:Someone here needs some love shown to them. For a thousand bucks? This is hubby. I'll do that. I'll do that for a thousand bucks. I'll send Mogey around. Would really love to have our laundry painted. Hasn't been done for 30 plus years. You don't want to paint your clothes, man, because you can't wear them. You can't wear them after that. They're covered in paint. No, they mean the laundry area, the room with the washer. Never mind. You can do that. You've done heaps of painting. Because remember when you touched up your house, you had to paint over all the holes and the bog and all that. I love how you guys got this new thing about going on like I'm covering up heaps of stuff with my house.

44:27Mike Minogue:My house is amazing, thank you. Oh, Jase, maybe this could be, or Mogey maybe. Someone needs a new mixer installed in my shower. A new mixer. A new mixer? Yeah. What does that mean?

44:39Keyzie:Oh, I could do that. There'd be no worries. Yeah, yeah, I'd whack one in there. How would you do it? skillfully. Yeah, a little bit of elbow grease, Chase. Yeah, a bit of hard yakka. Yeah, a bit of number eight. I'm not afraid of a bit of hard yakka, Keezy. A bit of number eight wire. Chuck in a mixer there, boom, de-dee. A little bit of this, a little bit of that, Bob's your uncle.

44:56Mike Minogue:This is very vague. Part of me thinks that you guys don't even know what a mixer is, and you're picturing like a cake mixer. Classic Keezy, underestimating old Moogian hootages. Well, what is it then? Oh, Keezy.

45:07Keyzie:I don't have time to explain it now, Keezy. No, we'll just say a few words. What is it? Keesey over there pushing his buttons.

45:15Mike Minogue:The Hauraki Big Show with Jase, Mike and Keesey. Tune in weekdays at four on Radio Hauraki.

45:22Keyzie:Guns. Rose is there on the Hauraki Big Show this Thursday evening. The time is 6.36. Fellas, you up for a bit of sport chat? Uh-huh.

45:40Mike Minogue:Sport chat.

45:43Keyzie:Big news. Go on. Big news on the cricket front. Stephen Fleming, ex-black cap, obviously skipper, ex-skipper of the black caps, has just been appointed the English cricket coach. Wow. Which is pretty amazing, actually. Now, I've got to be honest. I don't know much about Stephen Fleming's coaching career. I know he does a lot of T20 and so forth. He does. What I do know about Stephen Fleming was that he was a very astute captain. Yeah. Had a very calm demeanour, was very well spoken. So I'm picking he brings all of those qualities to the English role. And they love the Kiwis over in England, it would seem.

46:25Well, they might love him. They don't love the last one. No, he's gone. I was over in Australia when New Zealand toured over there. I remember seeing a double page spread on Stephen Fleming over there. And the Australians absolutely loved Stephen Fleming. They did, yeah. So, yeah, he may well be a very good coach. Pretty clued up sort of a fella. I hope he's better at coaching than he is at turning 50s into 100s, am I right? Got him. But all the best to him. All the best. And it's great to see Kiwis at the very, very top level there making the big bucks. And maybe one day, once they've made the big money, they'll come back and coach us.

47:01Keyzie:Yeah, just on that, by the way, because Stephen Fleming was known for that, not turning his 50s into 100s. And I remember Steve Waugh talking about that and saying, But he's got a phenomenal record. Yes. You know what I mean? He's still an incredible player. Oh, 100%. He's got more 50s than me. Very, very frustrating, though, for him because he was quality. Yeah. Hey, shall we do a bit of Comm Games?

47:21Mike Minogue:On your marks, get set, go. Hopscotch. Ready or not, here I come. Brush. Tag your ass. Let's not fear. Duck, duck, duck. Go. Marbles. What's on the Commonwealth Games with me, Keezy.

47:38Keyzie:Can I ask, Keezy, before you get into it, I'm sorry, but I just need to know because I don't know genuinely, what is Duck, Duck, Goose?

47:47Mike Minogue:Oh, it's a game. Yeah. Where you all sit in a circle. I think it's on the coverage tonight, actually, and basically one person's it, and they walk around tapping people on the shoulder, duck, duck, duck, and when they hit someone to say goose, they then have to run around and complete a full thing of the circle and back through the gap and back into the middle whilst the person who's goose is chasing them, and if they tag them, they become the... It's a real unfair advantage for the original goose. For the person who's it, yeah, the old goose. The old goose he is on their feet. Right, okay.

48:18Keyzie:Yeah, is that on tonight, did you say? I think it's tonight or tomorrow. Yeah, cool.

48:22Mike Minogue:Latest update in terms of Team New Zealand, of course you had Zoe Hobbs and old Claire Burt in the pool there, getting the only gold so far. We've got three golds, but... There's a hell of a hucker as well, poolside as well. My favourite hucker is a poolside hucker. That probably wasn't my favourite Of all the huckers I've seen But overnight we did get a Three on three basketball Bronze medal We came third and that was the women Which is pretty cool What else you got? Sorry?

48:55Keyzie:Three on three basketball Bronze What? Okay cool

49:04Mike Minogue:Whoa Oh, hoity J, man. No, it's good, it's good. Is it?

49:07Keyzie:Sure.

49:07Mike Minogue:Doesn't seem like it. Overnight, actually, something else happened. Leclerc, Chad Leclerc from South Africa. You're thinking of Troy McClure from The Simpsons. No, I'm pretty sure I'm talking about Chad Leclerc from South Africa became the most decorated all-time Commonwealth Games athlete with 21 medals. No, that doesn't interest me at all. Oh, well, actually, also, Troy McClure from The Simpsons. Ah, now we're talking. Yeah, he got a silver in the balance beam. Can I ask a question? I was out there earlier on in the outer office there, Kesey, and there was a female New Zealand weightlifter. How did she go?

49:45She was absolutely thrilled, and it brought me great joy to see her thrilled. I'm hoping that she won a medal of some kind because I don't tend to show any replays if people didn't.

49:55Mike Minogue:Yeah, I think she won a medal of some kind. Okay, cool, man. Well, that's a great update from you. Oh, no, I've just looked through. No, she didn't. Oh. No. Yeah, sweet. Hey, just back to Stephen Fleming there for a minute, and that's awesome, bro. Thank you. 46.50s and 800s. Yeah, God. 800s.

50:13Keyzie:I mean, that's still great. Sorry, 900s and 46.50s in Tess and 800s and 49.50s in ODIs. Yeah, not a good conversion rate, but an amazing player. And all the best for him. I'm really looking forward to seeing the New England side and how they're going to play the game.

50:30Mike Minogue:The Hauraki Big Show with Jase, Mike and Keezy. Tune in weekdays at four on Radio Hauraki.

50:43Keyzie:Well, there you go, you mad bastards. That's a big show done and dusted for your Thursday. In the podcast outro today, we chatted about all sorts of stuff as usual. But what's the clip you've got there, Keezy?

50:56Mike Minogue:This clip is entitled Washed, and I don't really remember what it's about. But it comes out at 7.30 tonight. Just search Haraki Big Show wherever you get your podcasts from. I think you know that I am a very humble skux. Well, there's one person I know who's not a humble skux. It's old A number one. Best in the world. That's what's interesting. I've acted with some of the biggest names in Kiwi TV. I think he resents them because they've gone on to be successful. Yeah, right. And Woody J has sort of been left in their dust. Yeah, but chicken soup, on the other hand, best in the world.

51:29Keyzie:Just a second-rate DJ at a rock station. Yeah, that's me.

51:38Keyzie:Is that how you see yourself? No, third rate. Yeah. Third rate. You know, just ticking the boxes, fellas.

51:47Mike Minogue:Do you think you are washed? Nah, man.

51:49Keyzie:He's killing it. I'm nailing it. You are, man. Moggy, probably an early night for you, but, I mean, it doesn't matter, does it? Because you're going to be woken up anyway. I am. The only thing I can think to do really is in the... The trouble I had last night, Jase, because what I do is I use one of my arms, I put it over my ear and I use that as an earmuff. That blocks the sound coming in. I put my other ear on the pillow, so that works. But it's so cold in my bedroom that I got a frozen arm last night, so I couldn't do that. Yes. It was really cold bastard last night.

52:21Mike Minogue:Have you ever Googled like sleep earmuffs? No. Or like headbands? The headband ones I have, yes. And I'm probably going to have to get them. I'll send the invoice to Wayne Brown. Actually, why don't we get Wayne Brown on? And I reckon he'd be keen to come in for a yarn and just explain himself. The Mayor of Auckland. Why not? Don't get me started on the CBD. Exactly. But we could have a little bit of stinkhole chat with my old mate, Wayne Brown. I reckon he'd be frothing it. He'd be frothing it. And so just write a note tomorrow, Pugs on the Planner, Wayne Brown stinkhole. And just, yeah Yeah, so anyway I'll try and sleep But I have got a couple of normal Ear plug thingies So I have to give those a run Right But I'm buggered, man Gee whiz Yeah Keezy Hey, I'm going to have tacos And then my wife and I Will hopefully watch Outrageous Fortune Although I've got a vibe It's going to be like A Grand Designs-y kind of night Yeah, right Sure And then early to bed, mate Got work in the morning Yeah, old Keezy Yeah, man Good stuff, man What do you call it?

53:22Your shoulders to the grindstone, brother Yeah Good on you, mate. Bring it on to the bacon.

53:26Mike Minogue:Jase, what are you doing tonight, man? Hot pot?

53:29Keyzie:Well, I'm going to meet my wife, first and foremost. He's having a hot pot. And I said, it's over to you, my love. You decide. And she's like, ugh. So probably hot pot.

53:38Mike Minogue:Enjoy, man.

53:39Keyzie:Hey, check out the Instagram. Check out the podcast. Till tomorrow. Goodbye. Bye.