FULL SHOW: The Million Dollar Question

15:46Oh, you should come and have a chat about how much you guys are failing. Oh, I love you guys, so I thought nothing brings me back to life. Well, tell me what I'll do, Joe.

15:53Keyzie:I'll go in and have a whack now and just end your misery, all right? Please, please. Yeah, we've been waiting for you to do it, so. Yeah. Well, I had a bit of a go yesterday, but she was a shambles. I was using a sandwich, I realised. Yeah.

16:04Jase:Yeah, I went in for a little go as well and was wondering why. Couldn't get it more than 40 feet from the tee. Also, I suck. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Don't forget.

16:11Keyzie:Well, I'll say it away, though, to be fair, mate. Yeah, that's true. Text HOLD to 3483. We'll send you a link to tune in. That's right. Be generous, too, because it's an aid of Movember and men's health and whatnot. And if you really want to annoy Jase, you could donate and have Green Day play while he is on the simulator. Oh, right, so you could do things like that. Yeah, absolutely. Well, we've just been out there,

16:32Jase:and they've been playing Sandstorm for an hour on rotation because somebody said I'll give you X amount of dollars if you play that at full blast, and it's a nightmare. It is a nightmare. In the meantime, here's Metallica. Thanks, Joe. The Hauraki Big Show, weekdays from four on Radio Hauraki.

16:50Keyzie:The Blankies there on the Radio Hauraki Big Show this Wednesday afternoon. The time is 4.48. Let's talk TV. What's on the telly with Mike Minogue?

17:05Jase:Yes, yes, yes, yes, yes, yes, yes, yes, yes. Hey, fellas, last night I watched this really just new show that I hadn't seen before. It's called Down Cemetery Road, and it's on Apple TV, and it's from the producers of Slow Horses. Oh! It's a thriller. It's based on a book, and it's about a woman who's an art restorer who is not Emma Thompson. She's somebody else. and she's sort of got a husband that's in finance and they're having a dinner party one night when all of a sudden, fellas, spoiler alert, there's apparently a gas explosion at a neighbouring house. It blows in their windows. It's all go.

17:46Jase:A mother is killed. A child is taken into hospital. And this woman goes to hospital to give the child a card and make sure she's OK. but everybody at the hospital is behaving very strangely. So she goes to the police, and the police are behaving very strangely. So she gets the help of a detective service, which is Emma Thompson and her husband, and they start looking into what's going on here. So it's all very cloak and dagger what's going on. The Guardian gave it a five-star review. Five stars, that's quite a lot. Five buzies, they said in their review. Oh, wow. Five out of five buzies. They're using buzies now.

18:25Jase:They're using the buzzy rating service now. That's great. Rotten Tomatoes has it at 80%. I'm going to give it three because I've only watched one episode. I think there's only three episodes. It's good, but, you know, it's only the first episode. It's hard to judge. But worth a geese, I reckon. What was it called again? It's called Down Cemetery Road. It's on Apple TV, and it says Emma Thompson in what has been described as a brilliant performance.

18:49Keyzie:Great stuff. Hey, fellas, I've got nothing ready to offer. I was trying to learn lines last night whilst also watching the TV and not succeeding in either occupation. Right, okay. So I've got really nothing to give you. Right, and your performance tomorrow or today was probably terrible as well. No, it was very good, Keezy. Oh, it was? Very good. Yes, very good. I was actually, I'll give myself five buzzies. Really? Yes. What were you filming? Look, I told you, Lady Chatterley's Lover. Oh, that's right. Oh, yeah, yeah. Last night I watched the first episode of the latest season of Educators on TVNZ, which is a New Zealand comedy.

19:27Mo, I know you've featured a few times in it. You're in this season as well, aren't you?

19:30Jase:I am in this season, yes. If I haven't been cut out, that's possible. Yeah, I know what that's like, man. Don't worry about that. But this first episode, they went all in. They had Taika Waititi guest starring. Right. Funny role. Largely improvised, that show, isn't it? It's entirely improvised. Yeah, so do they give you the sort of premise? So you go in, this is a show that's about a bunch of pretty much scumbag school teachers at a secondary school. An amazing cast, isn't it, Jase? Really great. Johnny Braff, Angela Drava, Jackie Van Beek, Tom Sainsbury, Cohen Holloway, just a who's who of New Zealand comedy.

20:05Jase:And yes, they give you the idea of the scene, the starting point and the ending point, and you just have to sort of make your way there by improvising. There's no scripts, there's no lines to learn, Jase, it's heaven. Which would be really, I reckon that'd be really fun. Yeah. And so the first episode, Taika Waititi's in it, which I like. They front load it, get him in there. He plays a funny character. Yeah. It was one of those things where you return to one of your favourite sitcoms, because it's probably my favourite New Zealand sitcom lately. Yeah. Since Talkback, of course. Before that, Wellington Paranormal.

20:36Oh, Wellington Paranormal. Before that, Gormsby. Seven periods of Mr. Gormsby, of course. Yeah. But, yeah, it was nice to be reunited with the characters. And I love Johnny Brough's character, the principal. because he's just like a bumbling idiot who's in charge of everyone. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Very relatable, you know, like he's just, I don't know, he's brilliant and he's got such a worried look all the time whilst constantly everyone below him is manipulating him and basically bossing him around. Yes. Yeah, so Educators, TVNZ Plus, if you've never watched it, check it out, Great New Zealand Comedy.

21:06Every single season's there. Yeah. They're only 20 minutes long, so it's bloody good eating.

21:10Jase:Get it in you. Good stuff. I give it four buzies out of five. That's good. Yeah, yeah. Here's R.E.M. The Hauraki Big Show, weekdays from four on Radio Hauraki.

21:20Keyzie:Yes, indeed. R.E.M. there on the Radio Hauraki Big Show this Wednesday afternoon. The time is 4.55 and we've got breaking news.

21:33This is breaking news. 8 a.m. yesterday morning, feelers. The ACC undertook a mission. It was to not sleep until they hit a hole-in-one with a golf simulator. that the ACC has happened upon. It's currently set up in the office next door. They stayed overnight. Morale was extremely low, and I'm pleased to announce that as of one minute ago, someone has hit a hole in one. That's right. Officially done and dusted.

22:01Jase:Pretty exciting stuff. The gentleman involved is somebody that I haven't seen before. He sort of looks like a Timu Ryan Fox, actually. He does. He's got all the golf gears on. He's familiar with our show, but I've never seen him before, and it always worries me because I'm terrible with both names and faces. So I didn't know if, A, I'd never met him before, or, B, I'd spent a long weekend with him. But loves his golf, obviously. He managed to just drop it maybe seven metres in front of the hole and it just rolled straight in the past. Yeah, beautiful.

22:29Keyzie:I did, I think, and I may be wrong, I did hear someone saying that I think he may be a pro. He's a golfer, yeah, he's a golfer. Yeah, so of a higher quality than, say, us fellows. Oh, wow, I don't know about that. I don't know about that, man. But I tell you what, I actually literally walked out of the studio when it happened and it was an almighty chair of celebration slash relief. Yeah. I personally am a wee bit gutted. You know, I want it to keep on going.

23:00Jase:Oh, absolutely, because I have nothing. I can pop out there for five or ten minutes and then go home. Have a whack. For them, it's absolute torture, particularly for Joe Durie, who deserves better, to be honest with you. He's a good man. Yeah, yeah, yeah. You're right. But we might have a chat to the winner after 5A, fearless.

23:13Keyzie:Hey, now listen, in other news, big news about the Big Show final. Boy, oh boy. And some weird stuff is happening in the Maldives.

23:28The Hauraki Big Show with Jace, Mike and Keezy. Tune in weekdays at four on Radio Hauraki.

23:34Keyzie:Welcome back, you massive backbones. Hope you're getting through your hump day this Wednesday afternoon. You're listening to The Big Show brought to you by Reeberger. Rebegger. Craveworthy street food, freshly made with Rebegger. Rebegger. Yeah, great stuff. Yum. The only thing, you know, with the golf going on next door with the ACC fellas that I'm disappointed about is I can't steal any chips. Oh, yes. You know, there's a cricket tonight against the West Indies, so the fellas are getting prepared for the commentary there, and old hoody Jay can't do the slinky.

24:05Jase:Well, there's people from other radio stations that came in and were blatantly, openly thieving chips. So when you do it, Jase, every single day for two years in a row,

24:14Keyzie:they get their backs up.

24:16Jase:What's that all about?

24:16Keyzie:I reckon. And you know what disgusted me about that, fellas? Someone came into Studio B with old Pugs on with a bag of chips, and they sat there and ate them themselves. Did we get any? No. Does Pugs steal fistfuls of hoity J stolen chips? Yes, every single day. When Pugs steals your chips, which you've stolen, Yes. Is Pugs stealing from the ACC or is he stealing from you? Well, you call that an accomplice, don't you? Oh, absolutely. After the facts. Yeah, if you know the goods are stolen and you still go into them. And you indulge in them.

24:52Jase:It's receiving stolen goods.

24:54Keyzie:Right, okay. Yeah.

24:56Jase:So it's actually. Knowingly. Sadly, it's not looter's rights. Looter's rights don't apply in this case. But even though Jace is a looter. Yeah. Oh, looter. Pugs still knows. He still knows that he's receiving stolen goods. Yeah, right. What a piece of work, man. Yeah, it's disgusting. And he just goes and eats his own pack.

25:10Keyzie:Don't do that. Eats his own packet of chips quietly in the corner. I'm really hungry too. I went to the cheap sushi place. That wasn't bloody open. Guys, this isn't your personal buffet, all right? Bring a little pack lunch in with you like I do. And old mogi. And old mogi. This is an absolute tune, by the way. This is a tune. Can you turn this up, Jason? Okay, here you go. Ready? Oh, wrong way, man. Other way. Oh, sorry. Other way. Damn it. The Hauraki Big Show Weekdays from 4 on Radio Hauraki Yes indeed Tom Petty there on the Radio Hauraki Big Show This Wednesday afternoon The time is 5.15 And right now it's time for Property Chat Oh, uh Property Chat On the Big Show That sounds different from the last time that I heard that What do you mean Property Chat?

26:01You can't just throw a new sting on me without even asking for it and just assume I'm going to play the correct step.

26:06Jase:I'll be honest with you, that was such a surprise to me. I freaked out and thought we were talking about it. I thought, jeez, I think we're talking about something different to what we've been chatting about chatting about. Yeah, totally.

26:15Keyzie:Jeez, I was shocked. Yeah, I'm shocked that we don't have a property chat sting since we talk about property so much in this. When was the last time? Well, yesterday. What did we talk about? Property. Oh, yeah, that's right. Touche. You fellas are forever banging on and looking at homes and houses, and what about this, fellas? And as you know, I'm in a position at the end of this year where we're looking to move. Yeah. So I've kind of been delving into the property market. I mean, I don't bang on about it as much as you guys do, especially Keezy. But, you know, I have been looking at property.

26:53Keyzie:And I mentioned this a little while ago, and I've reinvestigated it, and I'm reinvigorated by the idea of it. And that's a retirement village. Now, there are some beautiful, beautiful units on peninsulas by golf courses that are retirement villages. But then you chuck in, fellas, you can get a reasonable, you know, a very attractive villa on a golf course at a really nice price. You've got medical help on board should you have some kind of... Have a fall. A fall or break your hip or have a heart sort of murmur or something like that.

27:31Jase:You've got an inherent fear of medical assistance, though.

27:34Keyzie:I know I do, but it's comforting for me to know that should Hoardy J have a turn of some description? Yeah. Because that's what old people have, eh? They have turns. Yeah. There's a turn. And I just squeeze the little button in the unit, then they've got little buttons in the unit, and someone medical comes out, do-doosh, and fixes you up.

27:53Jase:Yeah, that's right. You heard right, Casey. Someone medical. Your knowledge of the medical system here in New Zealand is amazing. Thank you, man, eh? There's a button in the unit and a medical person comes out and do-do. Someone medical.

28:04Keyzie:And just gives you a heart thingy with one of those heart thingies. Or, for example, you and your wife could be sitting there in your unit and you go, oh, what are we going to have for dinner tonight, darling? And she'll go, oh, I can make a pasta. And I'll go, no, no. Is that her voice? No, no, you don't need to make a pasta, my love. We'll just order in from the kitchen. Because they often have, you know, they have a kitchen there and they can make meals and you can get them delivered to you.

28:30Jase:Well, you have to go out to the food hall there and you have to eat with all of the other residents, Jase. You have to socialise. That's the beauty of one of these retirement homes. Yeah, I can see you out there. They have the troughs there of mashed spuds, sort of lumpy mashed spuds and peas and sort of boiled meats. Yeah, yeah. Yeah, I can see you there, man. Absolutely I can.

28:52Keyzie:You talk about company. And I don't know if you guys ever do this in your household. You'll be sitting at home and you go, we should do something, darling. What should we do? and I've got to fucking think of an idea. They organise activities. Yes. Lawn bowls. You'd love a bit of lawn bowl action, you and your wife, Kesey. Yeah, I like playing lawn bowls, but what they do at these retirement homes is you all hop into the shuttle. The shuttle's arriving on Wednesday. Yes. You all hop in the shuttle. You go for a nice drive around the city. An outing. An outing.

29:20Jase:Oh, we went to the beach. Yeah, but the trouble is they get back to the retirement home. Oh, God. We've done a miscount. Hoytie J's gone missing. Oh, no. So Hoody J is now wandering around a park somewhere. Oh, God. And it's getting towards nightfall, and it's getting cold, and Hoody J hasn't taken his sweater. Again. And now he's starting to get scared. Yeah. So, oh, we're going to put wanted posters up. Has anyone got a recent photo? Nah. We'll just have to use this photo of him from Labyrinth. Put Hoggle. But anyway.

29:52Keyzie:Oh, yeah, I think you should do it. My wife would be there with me, Mogi, so she'd make sure I got on the shuttle. Oh, true. And I love a bit of garden action, going to gardens. A couple of years ago, I did a bit of a thing where I suggested you and your wife move into a retirement village, and you said your wife would be furious with me for suggesting that. But now you're saying that she's keen. Well, this is the one sticky point in the whole thing, is my wife isn't that keen on it. But as far as I can see, I can't see any drawbacks. No. Would you still do the radio show? Oh, sure. I could get the shuttle in.

30:28Keyzie:They could shut, you know, because they just shuttle me back.

30:31Jase:I wouldn't even have to drive anymore. Hoity J doing his own radio show at the Retirement Village. How good would that be? You'd be, jeez, you'd be a hit amongst the ladies there. Radio Foggy with Hoity J.

30:43Keyzie:Ding, dong, ding. Hello, Cambers. I reckon you should do it, man. Thanks, fellas. Start tomorrow. Yeah, I reckon tomorrow. Oh, yeah? You reckon I should put a deposit down? Yeah, leave a deposit. Hauraki Big Show. Weekdays from four on Radio Hauraki. Queens of the Stone Age there on the Radio Hauraki Big Show this Wednesday afternoon, the time 5.27.

31:04Jase:Guys, yesterday the Melbourne Cup was on. It's a horse race. It stops both nations, both New Zealand and Australia. Yes. Correct? Yeah, I did. We even watched it. Are you much of a punter, Hoardy Jizzbot?

31:15Keyzie:No, I don't know. I told you the story. I went to the TAB once. I bet a$2 each way bet on Jewel Dancer, a rank outsider. I won like$45. and I went, I'm never coming back again. Smart. You've got great self-control, man. You're unreal. That was the only time I've ever had any kind of self-control. I knew instinctively that I would become a massive gambler otherwise. Yeah, that's right. Well, there was a$2 bet.

31:38Jase:You might have read about it in the paper. Yes. On the Melbourne Cup, the guy won$353 ,000. Wow. $353 ,000, and that was simply for doing a pick four. so essentially you pick the first four runners home. I think you can do box trifectas where you can pick multiple horses and they can finish in any order as long as they finish in the first three. Well, the first four runners were selected in this one and won$353 ,000. And I'm just wondering what you guys reckon I should spend it on. What do you mean what you could spend it on? Well, I didn't want to tell you guys about it yesterday because obviously we watched the race live.

32:19Jase:Yeah. And I couldn't quite believe what I was seeing. It wasn't until I got home and had a good look at the ticket that I realised that I had won$353 ,000 plus another$121. Wow. It's not bad. And what was the bet you made? Three bucks? Two. Two bucks? So you know how you bet$2 and you got$45? Until Dancer, yeah. Yeah, I bet$2 and I won$353 ,121. Right, so that was you. But I'm just a bit concerned about what I should do with it Because obviously you don't want your family to know because they're shocking bastards. Yeah, they don't mean anyone to cut it out. Like your wife and your daughter. My wife and my daughter.

32:55Jase:Yes, yes. So what do I do with it? It's got to be discreet and it's got to have long-term returns.

33:01Keyzie:If I was you, I'd get it all out in cash. Yes. And I'd cash out and then I'd put it in a PO box. A post office box?

33:10Jase:Yeah, yeah. Right. I think I need a few post office boxes. Is that going to achieve me any sort of interest? Just what's the returns on that and just sticking it in a box?

33:19Keyzie:Well, just that no one else will ever know about it. And if things ever get, you know, difficult, you know you've got that$350 cash. But it's not earning you anything. That's okay. No, what do you mean? Oh, you've got that money. Let that money work for you, Mo, if you do have it. Because that's the thing.

33:34Jase:Can you send your money out to work for you? Yeah. What sort of stuff does it do? Oh, it can be invested in stuff and it earns you money, I think. Not that I would know because I don't really have much money. Or you could do, like, multiple accounts. But the problem is what you're saying, yes, I agree with that, but what you're saying there, Keezy, is you're invested in something like property, for example. Yeah, or you could get really clued up on the stock exchange. That seems like too much. Yeah, it's going to crash the stock, by the way. I was actually thinking because, of course, there's that old Lion Man's joint up north, so I've been in discussions with the woman who runs that.

34:06Jase:She's got the seven big cats that they're going to euthanise because they're selling that property for land. We've come to an arrangement. She said I could have all seven for$350 ,000. So that's 50 grand each for a lion. There's four lions, two tigers and a polar bear. And that leaves me with 3 ,121, which I imagine I'll have to spend on freight. Right. But I just sort of feel like, I just don't think big cats depreciate in value. Oh, no. What about when they die? Huh? When they die. Oh, I don't think they last forever. Like 50 or 60 years old. These are only like 18 or 19. You know they die in their 20s?

34:45Jase:Who? The big cats. No, that's the ones that live in the wild because I get shot. But I wouldn't shoot these ones because that would be like a waste of money. You know what I mean? You'd be literally shooting yourself in the foot there. Well, not literally.

34:58Keyzie:I'd be literally shooting a lion. You'd be literally shooting a lion. Figuratively.

35:03Jase:Yes. Figuratively I'd be shooting myself in the foot, but literally I'd be shooting a lion. But not in the foot, though. And I don't want to do either of those things. Yeah, and lions don't have feet. They have paws, Jase. Come on, man. God, I'm such a derby. Yeah, I don't know what you should do, man. Because you've won money from gambling. Yes. Untaxable as well. And you're going to use the money from gambling to buy lions. When am I going to get another opportunity? It seems like, you know, there's something at work here. It's the heavens are talking to me or God is talking to me. It seems like too much of a coincidence that I would win on one day$350 ,000 and on another day seven big cats go on sale.

35:43Well, six and a polar bear, yeah. Six and a polar bear, yeah.

35:45Keyzie:Yeah, it feels right, doesn't it? Either that or Queen of the Nile. Queen of the Nile. Put all 350 ,000 into a pokey machine. Yeah. I reckon. Now we're talking. The Hauraki Big Show. Weekdays from four on Radio Hauraki. Pearl Jam there on the Radio Hauraki Big Show this Wednesday afternoon. The time is 5.41, and I think it's fair to say, fellas, that the Big Show are big fans of the Breakers. Yeah, we are, man. The BNZ Breakers. Who's your favourite player? I hate it when people ask me that Yeah Yeah right Why is that? Oh because I don't like It's a team game And I hate You know Yeah yeah totally Just getting one person named Out of the whole team What about all time favourite breaker?

36:31Keyzie:Yeah that's good Oh again It's like It's like trying to It's like trying to ask someone What their favourite song is What about like Earlier this year You shot You hit a jump shot in Tom Abercrombie's face. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Would he be one of your favourites? Oh, he was certainly up there. Who's the captain of the Breakers at the moment? That's a good question, actually. I don't know that. Yeah. The good news is, though, for every Breakers game in New Zealand this season, the Big Show have organised for a backbone bench, which is right courtside for you and three mates. It's got a real ring to it.

37:05It's the best seats in the house. All right, fellas.

37:08Jase:The beauty of this backbone bench, and Kezi, I don't know if you know this, man, but it allows you to feel the energy while you hear the noise and witness the best of basketball life. Wow. Okay? That should be like some sort of summary or like commercial thing that we put. Oh, my God, that was great.

37:25Keyzie:I remember the last fellas that actually won this prize, they were talking like they were literally showered in the players' sweat. That's right.

37:32Jase:That's right. They said they felt like they were part of the team. Oh, wow. Because they were on the court and they were playing the game. That's how close they got. One of them took the winning shot. I don't know if that's what we're offering here, because we can't endorse people that are supposed to be able to.

37:48Keyzie:All I'm telling you is what they said. This is what happens with a bench, Kesey, in basketball. I don't know if you know the mechanics, but you get players off the bench.

37:57Jase:Yeah, most people, you know, they get off the bench. In your experience, you were just on the bench. Oh. Yeah. Yeah, because I was told, like, sitting on the bench is, like, the best role on the team. Anyway, we've got Zach on the line. Zach, you mad bastard. How's life, man? Yeah, good. And yourself? Yeah, good.

38:15Keyzie:Thanks, Zach. You like a bit of b-ball, mate? Yeah, I do. I do enjoy a bit of b-ball. Bloody great, man. You down in Christchurch? I am, yep. Bloody ripper. The Breakers are taking on the Adelaide 36ers tomorrow night. Wolfbrook Arena, man. You and three of your mates pack your bags. Well, not pack your bags, but chuck your Breakers gear on, mate, because you're going to be sitting courtside. I have bloody good. Pretty good, man. Take your suitcases down there. Yeah, pack your bags, man, and take them along just in case. Tell me, Zach, do you have three mates? I do, yeah. Yeah, nice. I don't believe you, man.

38:49What are their names?

38:53Keyzie:Zach, you know, maybe what time does the game start? 7.30. 7.30. Maybe go and have a bit of re-burger beforehand and then go and watch a breakers game. Why not?

39:03Jase:Well, you don't want to be too full when you get called onto the court in the last quarter. Yeah, yeah. Yeah, so don't have Reburger, man. Maybe have that afterwards, Zach. Probably. Actually, I've just realised we haven't even asked Zach what he does for a crust. What do you do for a crust, Zach? I'm a builder. Oh, yeah.

39:19Keyzie:I didn't even need to ask that because I knew he was a builder. Really? He was just a backbone from beginning to end. Zach bone. Hey, Zach, sorry about that, man. Congrats, mate. We'll chuck you on hold and old Pugsan will hand you those tickets, all right? Sweet. Thanks, fellas. No, I'm Zach. Yeah, how good. God, I love that guy. He was a good dude, wasn't he? Yeah, he was fine. I liked Zach. Yeah, he was fine. I mean, I'll be honest, I don't like all our callers. Really? Shock and bastards. But you like Zach. Yeah, Zach was good, isn't he? Yeah, Zach was cool, man. Yeah. He's got three mates.

39:51Does he, though? Radiohead? Oh. The Hauraki Big Show. Weekdays from four on Radio Hauraki. Guns. And. And.

40:04Keyzie:Rose is there on the radio. Yeah, hauraki, big show. Now, listen up, New Zealand. Plenty coming up after 6 o 'clock. The guy, Matt, who hit the hole-in-one for the ACC, no sleep till hole-in-one, put them out of their misery at about 5 o 'clock today on the simulator there. We're going to be chatting to him after 6 o 'clock. Very exciting. Plus, if you ever need advice on anything, don't forget, meetpaddynips69 is a real email address you can get in touch with. It's 100 % anonymous, and you can win yourself a$50 Reburger voucher if we read it out on air. We'll be dishing out some advice, fellas.

40:39The person who's reached out needs advice on how to get sponsors for something.

40:43Jase:Sponsors? You know how we have Reburger? Oh, they're a sponsor. Yeah, it's called being a sponsor. Oh. Did you not know that? Oh.

41:04Keyzie:Welcome back, you massive backbones. Hope you're having a pleasant Wednesday evening. You're listening to the big show brought to you by Reburger. Handcrafted burgers, loaded fries and gourmet eats, that will change the game. And if I could just direct your attention to this next slide, you'll see that Reburger is having both good times and good food. And that's whether or not you dine in or take away Reburger today. and if you just look at this next one you'll see that it's yum!

41:41Keyzie:Great stuff, man. Like that one. Great stuff. It's good, eh? It is really good. It's good eating. I wouldn't mind finding out what Reberger thinks of those. Actually, that would be... Genuinely, I would like to know what they think about them

41:53Jase:because I think they're fantastic. I mean, you don't hear a word out of them, do you? No. You think they'll be on the phone all the time singing Pugs' Praises? Well, don't you... Wouldn't he make a great mascot, Pugs, for Reburger? Yeah, he really would. You'd call him Burger Boy. Or he could dress up as the sauce chicken.

42:08Keyzie:Yeah, he could.

42:09Jase:And the sauce chicken would be called Pugs.

42:11Keyzie:Isn't it a good sign when you don't hear from people? You know what I mean?

42:15Jase:No news is good news.

42:17Keyzie:No news is thank you. That's what I was searching for in my aged brain. It's funny because no news is good news. Yes. But then any press is good press. Yeah. Have you heard of that?

42:27Jase:Any publicity is good publicity. Yeah, yeah, yeah.

42:30Keyzie:Is that wrong? Did I? Yeah. Well, you butchered a little bit. Well, I didn't really butcher it. You still got the idea. You got the drift. You caught my drift. Yes. But no, we should. We should send them to the people at Reburgo, and I want to get their feedback on them, because they're brilliant. Okay, so we're going to send them to them? Yes. Just send them. Can you do that?

42:47Jase:Was that post? No, you would have to. Private bag. Oh, private bag 4412, Auckland. That's right. That's how we'd send that, yeah.

42:56Keyzie:Hey, here's red hot chilli peppers. The Hauraki Big Show with Jace, Mike and Keezy. Tune in weekdays at four on Radio Hauraki. Aero Smith there on the Radio Hauraki Big Show this Wednesday evening. And then today, drama, drama, drama, fellas. The ACC have been running a competition for November. No sleep till a hole in one. It's just no sleep till a hole in one. Oh, till a hole in one. Yeah, yeah. And they started at 8am yesterday morning and went all through the night. You were saying, Mogi, when we came in this afternoon, that was still going and morale was very, very low.

43:32Jase:Very, very low. And you can understand why, you know, when you've got a competition that revolves around you doing something miraculous on a golf course, right? Let's be honest. If you get a hole in one, it's something to be treasured for your entire life. The people that you've got swinging the club are all shit at golf. That's what they've realised. It's just like, oh, it's going to be easy if we just keep on swinging. That's not how it works, Keezy. No, yeah, you're dead right, Muggie. I'd never thought of it like that.

43:56Keyzie:But then, just before 5 o 'clock, as Horty J was coming out of the studio, I heard a loud cheer of excitement and, yes, relief because some mad basset had done it. And that mad basset is Matt, who joins us now. G'day, Matt. How's life? G'day, Horty J and Keezy and Mogey. You guys, I'm a big fan of you fellas. so it's an honour to be in here and yeah, very excited to have knocked that in and give G Lane the night off because he was stressing out about it. He was. Tell me, Matt, because you're obviously a pretty gun golfer, have you ever had a real hole-in-one in your life? Yeah, I've actually had eight.

44:39Keyzie:Oh my God! Were you called in especially, Matt, to get this done? I was watching last night and we actually supplied the tech for the hidden area. So I was worried the computer was going to burn out after watching their trochard shots last night. That computer running for 14 days straight wasn't going to be good.

44:59Jase:Yeah, because I saw you earlier on and I thought to myself, that guy seems familiar, but I'm terrible with faces and names. And that could mean that I've either never met you or that we've spent time together. It turns out that we did meet in the airport. And if I remember correctly, were you going on a golf trip then? Is that where you were going or you'd come back from?

45:15Keyzie:Yeah, I was off to Fiji for a golf trip and we bumped into each other and I was a big fan, so I thought I'd take my chance in a chat. Yeah, right. So, Matt, are you a golfer by trade? What's your handicap? I'm a failed player, so I tried to make money out of golf, but that was no luck. So I actually work in the industry now for different brands like Wilson, which we were sponsored for that event, and we also do golf simulators, so premium golf simulators. You're right. So you must be a golfer of some repute though, right? So do you have a handicap? What are you? Plus three. Plus three. It's not that good.

45:52Plus three means he's gone past zero up to plus three. Yeah.

45:57Keyzie:Do you even know what I mean? Yeah, I do know what you mean, and it kind of pisses me off a little bit. Now, Matt, very quickly, mate, talk us through the shot. You were just doing what you were doing. Well, I actually felt like a bit of a dick because I was struggling with the clubs in there because my clubs are slightly longer, so I requested that I went to my car and got my own clubs out, which I felt like a bit of a loser, really. Hey, I got the job done for the fellas. Yes. Right, so you just hit it. Does it feel sweet when you hit it? Yeah, it was. There was a few in a row that were sort of dancing around it.

46:27Keyzie:Right. So as soon as you get a bit of an inkling when it's in the air. Yeah. You felt good. I've never had that inkling. But that's all G, man. That'll happen. Yeah, well, good on you, Matt. You've saved the fellas a lot of pain. I might have a chat with you afterwards, man, and get a few taps.

46:43Jase:Oh, that's a good idea, man.

46:44Keyzie:Yeah, yeah. Yeah, yeah. On my swing. Yeah, I've been following the form online and it's looking good. You're almost there. Thanks, mate. The Hauraki Big Show with Jace, Mike and Keezy. Tune in weekdays at four on Radio Hauraki. The White Stripes there on the Radio Hauraki Big Show this Wednesday evening. Now, have you fellows heard of best seats on the boundary? No. Neither have I. What's that about? Oh, you know the Black Clash? Yes. Better known as the Hot Spring Spa T20 Black Clash in association with Wolf Brook. I love how big that name and title is. It is massive. I love saying that live on TV too.

47:21Of course, Jase, you'll be calling it this year. It's live from Bay Oval Tauranga at the Mount there, January 17th. Now, every single year, Moggy, you and I are in a hot tub. That's true. This year, there's no hot tub.

47:33Jase:Yep. So we're going to have like a special hodaki zone. It'll probably be at the front of the ACZ party zone. ACZ. Is AZZ going to be there? Is AZZ Top going to be there? Holy heck, that's not even any of the promotional material. They should be.

47:46Keyzie:She's got legs. She knows how to use them. For walking keys. Yeah, for walking. Filthy. Nah, they're not going to be there. Oh. But we're going to be sitting in front of the ACC Export Ultra Party Zone. Oh, man, that's better. And we just need to figure out what the sort of hodaki, the best seats in the house, what it's actually going to look like. Because the winner of this competition will be sitting with us in that area. Yes. So what would you like down there, Mo? Because, Jase, you'll be commenting.

48:12Jase:Am I right that there's going to be a boat involved?

48:14Keyzie:Yeah, I think there is a boat.

48:15Jase:Aren't you guys maybe on a boat? I've heard rumours. Things are coming, things are going. We don't know. Okay, well, this is what I want. It's got to be soundproof. I don't want to hear any of the scumbags in the ACC zone to be able to talk to me. Fair call. Or be able to throw things at me, which is what happens. Particularly as the evening progresses, things start getting hurtled your way because they're jealous, Kesey. Yeah, they are jealous. They're scumbags. They're jealous. So soundproof would be my first thing. and protected from projectiles. So you need a closed-in box of some sort, but then that's kind of blocking the view for people.

48:48Keyzie:Mind you, if I was in your guy's position, I'd be wanting some platters. Yeah, no, platters go without saying. Oh, they do like that. Oh, okay, good. Cheeses and cold meats, et cetera. Lots of cheeses. A keg? A keg, yeah, heaps of Nippy's iced coffee. Oh, you get that to you. Unlimited cheese balls and darts just being handed around. Wow. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Darts. Like it rules. I might have to reconsider what I'm doing here. Well, that's interesting. What about a spa? A spa would be good, like a hot spring spa. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Yeah, I don't know what's going on there, but we should, because I've decided, you know, after a few years of me being in there with the old nips out.

49:19Jase:They're over it. They're sick of it. Well, that's right, because it was perfectly fine for the previous four, five iterations, but it was once those nipples came out. Just ruined it for everyone. Yeah, because it used to be like a family event, didn't it? You'd watch the cricket with your family, and, of course, tens of thousands of children's lives ruined. Yeah, they were traumatised, weren't they? And the sight of keys is horrendous. And I say this with all the love in the world, Kesey. It just doesn't feel like it. Disgusting nipples.

49:44Keyzie:I thought it was empowering. We say it with absolute affection. I thought it was free the nip. You're absolutely foul nipples. But if you would like to sit with us in the Hodaki Zone, which we are still designing, head to hodaki.co.nz. Get yourself in the drawer there. And thanks to Air New Zealand's Grab a Seat, we can actually fly you from anywhere in the country. And we'll also put you up at the Trinity Wharf Hotel, which is where we are all staying as well, and all the players stay. so it's a good place to be. Hauraki.co.nz, get yourself in the drawer, Hashpipe. Ooh. Yeah. You're going to have one of those as well?

50:18Nah, song. Yeah, Weezer. The Hauraki Big Show with Jace, Mike and Keezy. Tune in weekdays at four on Radio Hauraki.

50:34Keyzie:Well, there you go, you mad bastards. That's the big show done and dusted this Wednesday evening In the podcast outro today, we were talking about men's testosterone. That's right. That's right. That podcast comes out at 7.30 tonight, and that explains why today's clip is entitled Horny. I'm an old ram cast in the back paddock, constantly having a go at himself. Rubbing himself up against an old tree root. Yeah, tree root. He's scussing. Oh, that's good podcasting there, fellas. That's good eating there, fellas. Well, it's actually a pretty good podcast. Go and listen to it if you like podcasts.

51:07Keyzie:Yeah, if you like talking. Yeah, good stuff. You like hearing? There was a lot of chat about how passionate we, how, what's the word? Horny? Yeah, I guess so. We each are, and who's the horniest?

51:20Jase:Oh, there wasn't a lot of chat about that. It sort of rounded it out. It was more along the predisposition you have genetically to do things. Genetic, yes. And you know that it's just your hormones making you do it. Do stuff. It's got nothing to do with choice, really. You're driven by your programming. Massive balls.

51:37Keyzie:Totally, man. And Mogi, what are you doing tonight?

51:39Jase:I'm going to go and see a play at Basement Theatre called The Dry House. The Dry House. Say hello to my wife. She's going to that. Is she? Tonight.

51:47Keyzie:Is that with Alison Bruce? Alison Bruce and Zoe Crane, yeah.

51:51Jase:Both on the books at Franks. I'll be able to tell you all about that tomorrow. I'm very excited. I haven't seen a play for a long time, Keezy. The Dry House. You should get into theatre, Keezy. No. You simply must. I think that's a terrible idea. I hate remembering. I can't even remember one line for an audition for an ad, let alone an entire play. I don't like theatre. I hate watching theatre I hate thespians Yeah nah that's a bad idea Alright just an idea Maybe I should What are you having for tea tonight? Burgers We've got these two frozen beef and venison patties That we made about a month ago And we just got them out We're going to have burgers And then we're going to go for a walk Hopefully they'll get home Eat the burgers straight away Go for a walk before the sun goes down Good for your prostate What about Yes, Jase, apparently.

52:38What are you doing tonight, Jase? Where your wife's at?

52:40Keyzie:Lines, lines and more lines. Good on you, man. Yes. Learning lines. Yes, learning lines. While your wife is at a play with Mogey. Anyway. Yeah, yeah. Bye. Bye.