FULL SHOW: The New Team Member

7:55Keyzie:Thank you, man. Thank you.

7:56Mike Minogue:And then my throat just feels a wee bit weird. Nothing major, to be fair. Lots of texts coming in on three. I'm a bit worried about you, Keezy. That doesn't sound good. Really? A slightly sore throat, but not really.

8:06Keyzie:What's with the sort of beads of sweat running down the side of your forehead there? It's just really hot in here, Jax. Yeah, true.

8:12Mike Minogue:3483, every text in the draw for 50 bucks, Reburger. G'day, guys. I really need to go wheeze, but I can't right now. Oh, the old, what do you call that? Bladder infection? No, the other one there, you know. Urinary tract? Yeah, it could be urinary tract, but when you get the staccato wheezy, Chase, it's because you're prostate. Oh, prostate. Yeah, she's bugging. Yeah, you need to get yourself along to a doctor, somebody with a thick index finger. To be honest, it just sounds like they're not able to go toilet right now. Like, it's not good. Yeah, well, exactly. So get yourself to a doctor immediately.

8:47Mike Minogue:Right, because I would just say maybe just wait and go wheezy in a wee bit.

8:50Keyzie:Oh, you see, that's the sort of stuff that gets you in trouble. Yeah, you can't wait easy. You've got to get along.

8:54Mike Minogue:G'day, guys. I've had a cough for the last two months, and every time I cough, a bit of wee comes out. Yeah, that's normal. Yeah, yeah. That's normal. You can just ignore that. See, that sounds like something I would go to the doctor for. No, that's absolutely standard. You'd be wasting their time, Kesey. If you don't do a wee every time you cough, I mean, are you even a man? That's a good point, Moggy. I don't, but I'll start trying to. I wouldn't try. You either got it or you ain't. Totally. Damn it. G'day, guys. My ears are bleeding listening to Jizznado complain about his Sookie Bubba hernia.

9:27Keyzie:Jizz what? NATO?

9:29Mike Minogue:You know your nickname, the Jizz NATO. G'day, fellas.

9:32Keyzie:I get it right.

9:33Mike Minogue:I've had a runny nose for two weeks and then I woke up with a cricked neck.

9:37Keyzie:Oh, yeah, I get that when I lie on the couch. Because where I'm lying on the couch, like, I'm facing the window and the TV's to my left. Oh, yeah. So I'm having to tilt my head slightly to the left to watch the TV. Yes. And that gives me a bit of a crook in the old neck there. whereas my wife has it directly, the couch facing directly to the television. Yeah. And she never gets a crook neck. She's a lucky bastard.

10:00Mike Minogue:How do we treat that? Just tell him to move his couch around and sneak his wife's seat on the couch. Or the TV. Hang on, no, no, no. This is not Jase.

10:09Keyzie:I think you're getting things a bit muddled up.

10:11Mike Minogue:Oh, am I? Yes. Right, okay.

10:13Keyzie:It's that fever you're running.

10:15Mike Minogue:Yeah, okay, so just swap places with your wife. No, Jase's wife. swap places with Jase's wife. G'day, guys. I've just had to clean my desk at work and it was really dusty and I've been sneezing all afternoon and it's made my eyes dilated.

10:34Keyzie:So what can you do for that? You just have to let that one pass, I think. Oh, really? Yeah, time will sort that out. Yeah, maybe an orange juice. Unless you have a top up and another half an hour. Yeah, totally.

10:45Mike Minogue:I would say to have an antihistamine because, you know, dust, sneezing, allergic.

10:52Keyzie:That's why you're a radio DJ, Keezy, and not a doctor, mate.

10:57Mike Minogue:Right, okay. G'day, guys. I've woken up feeling hungover after a night of undeserved overindulgence. Yep. Yep. You need probably a couple beers there. A few beers. Yeah, right, okay.

11:11Keyzie:A few beers will sort that out. Responsibly. And I always found a couple of durries chucked in there. Not that we're encouraging that sort of thing at all. That's exactly what you found. That's just what you found. That's for me personally.

11:23Mike Minogue:Right, okay, because you can't encourage that sort of thing, obviously. G'day, guys. I burnt my tongue on some ramen. I can't taste anything.

11:32Keyzie:I wonder if he got the death ramen.

11:35Mike Minogue:Maybe. How do you treat that? Because I'd say maybe eat a yogurt.

11:39Keyzie:Oh. That's a fallacy, Keezy. What do you mean? The yoghurt, the cure, chilli. What you do is get a gob full of sugar.

11:48Mike Minogue:Yep. A mouth full of sugar. Or salt.

11:50Keyzie:Or salt. Or cinnamon. And if you haven't got either of those things, cayenne pepper.

11:55Mike Minogue:Right, and that's going to fix it.

11:57Keyzie:Yeah, totes.

11:58Mike Minogue:Okay, well, look, keep those ailments coming in 3483. Every text in the drawer for some Reburger, and maybe we'll diagnose some more people later on in the show, eh, fellas? Yeah, okay. Good on you, mate. Good work. Good work. The Hauraki Big Show. Weekdays from four on Radio Hauraki.

12:18Mike Minogue:It's Beer and Pie July on Radio Hauraki.

12:23Keyzie:Bloody oats it is. We've got cash to give away, don't we, fielos?

12:27Mike Minogue:That's right, Jase. $20 ,000 for the entire month. Thanks to our mates at Dad's Pies, who proudly bake award-winning pies for pie-loving New Zealanders. How good, man. Is there a little bit of pride baked into every pie, Keezy? Mogey, 100%. Yeah. You can taste it too. You can, man. The pride. Yeah. Yeah. And you can taste when a pie doesn't have that. Oh, you can, man.

12:46Keyzie:Actually, you've just given me a reminder. I might chuck a pie in now. We'll have it later on in the show. You're blowing out a bit, Woody, Joe. You've got to ease up, brother. I am, actually. You've smashed a whole box of shapes by yourself. You're a shocking bastard.

12:58Mike Minogue:That was actually Mogey, just for reference.

13:00Keyzie:Let's go to the phone lines. G'day, Mike, you mad bastard. How's life? Oh, not too bad, mate. Not too bad. Good on you, mate. How's the beautiful Whangarei today? Oh, it's a bit overcast. What do you do for a crust there, Mike, you absolute sicko? Oh, I'm a big old cabinet maker. Yeah! Backbone! And when you're making your cabinets there and you knock off a bit of smoke-o there, Mike, what pie are you running with? I'm a big fan of a steak and onion. Oh, yes! Now, Mike, you don't see a steak and onion very often these days. Very common back in the day, my day, I call it, back in the 80s there.

13:42I haven't spotted a steak and onion for a long time. Does your local bakery do one? Yep, there's one up here that does one.

13:49Keyzie:Oh, how bloody good. Steak and onion. Bloody good. Hey, well, great news for you, Mike. You just won yourself$250, mate.

13:56Mike Minogue:That's magnificent. No worries. You have a great day, Mike. Hold the line, mate. Thank you very much, mate. Good on you, man.

14:04Keyzie:Steak and onion. Old school, fellas. Old school. Very old school. And as is the, which you also don't see anymore, your steak and kidney. I love me a steak and kidney pie. Now, they used to make a steak and kidney, Kiesling. You won't remember this, man, but cobblestone pies was the big pie down in the lower North Island. Right. And they do a steak and kidney.

14:26Mike Minogue:And when they say kidney, now this is naivete on my behalf. Kidney bean or actual kidney? No, kidneys. Actual kidneys, because back in those days there you see that you use your offal. But as time's gone on and we've become more of a rich society. Sophisticated. We don't allow ourselves to eat the kidney. Nothing wrong with a bit of kidney.

14:45Keyzie:I love me kidney.

14:47Mike Minogue:That's what's interesting is because when I took my parents out for dinner on Friday night, I went to a restaurant where you could get all sorts on skewers. Yes. But there was lamb trim, which is what we got, which is sort of like off cuts and stuff, but nice and chewy and really nice and tasty. Lamb chops. Yeah. We're like, yeah, let's get that. But then it was like lamb testicles, nah, you know, lamb kidney or whatever it was, or chicken, gizzard, chicken feet. People stare away from your knackers and your offal and that sort of thing. But give me some knackers to chew on any day, man. I'm keen as a bean.

15:16Totally, mate.

15:17Keyzie:I'm with you, Mogi. At my local hot pot there, you'll get your offals. Your knackers. Your balls, et cetera, et cetera. I wonder if you go back. I fill my bowl. Those big, beautiful marbles.

15:31Mike Minogue:Hey, don't forget There's a serious amount of pride Baked into every dad's pie there, fellas

15:37Keyzie:Oh Oh, my hernias My hernias are really hurting Hey, here's Tom Petty

15:45Mike Minogue:The Hauraki Big Show Weekdays from 4 on Radio Hauraki

15:49Keyzie:Yes, indeed, the killers there on the Radio Hauraki Big Show This Tuesday afternoon The time is exactly 10 minutes to 5 o 'clock Let's talk TV What's on the telly with Mike Minogue

16:06Yes! That's right. Hey fellas, over the weekend I watched I watched Hawk it's called Hawk and it's on Netflix and it stars Will Ferrell It's a comedy series and it follows Lonnie the Hawk Hawkins a once dominant PGA golfer from 2004 who refuses to retire, fellas.

16:29Mike Minogue:Ah, yeah. Desperate to achieve a career grand slam, he chases a comeback while navigating strained family dynamics. Now, it says something that, in the synopsis there, says he's desperate to achieve a career grand slam. Well, I got four episodes deep, and that was never mentioned. That was never mentioned. Right, okay. It is a terrible show. And you got four reps deep. Well, because it's Will Ferrell, and I want to believe that it's going to get better, because I love him. Absolutely love Will Ferrell. Love all of, well, not all of his movies, but he's done some of my favourite comedy films of all time.

17:02And this is probably, in reality, it should be a 90-minute movie. And it's a 10-episode shambles with zero laughs in it. So that was pretty gutting. But anyway, there were people that disagree. Terrible reviews across the board for it. I thought it might have just been me and my hungover state. But, yeah, she's pretty grim. I give it one boozy out of a possible five, and that's on Netflix, and it's called Hawk.

17:28Keyzie:Yeah, good stuff, mate. I watch Sleeping Dogs, the classic New Zealand film starring our one and only Sam Neill. First, can I just say, he's an absolute stallion. He is such a good-looking fella. It's basically the story of a sort of fascist revolution in New Zealand. His character, Smith, gets caught up in the middle of it after he divorces his wife, but gets caught up in the middle of this fight between the sort of fascist state and, you know, the general public. Very relevant to our current sort of political environment. You know, it's a really good film. I really enjoyed it. Famously, it did remarkably well.

18:06Keyzie:I think it was New Zealand's first ever full 35mm feature film. It's the first film that sold in the United States. And it was like a massive critical success. and also I think they said it was basically that film that helped us set up the New Zealand Film Commission. Right, so cool. So it was a number of things. Ian Mune sort of did the screenplay for it because it's based on a book by C.K. Stead, a New Zealand author, I think. Yes. So, yeah, really, really good and it's just great, too, what I loved about it, seeing old school New Zealand. Yes. You know what I mean? When it was a bit run down and shabby.

18:47Keyzie:but look I'll give it a good 3.8 buzzies out of 5 I enjoyed it

18:51Mike Minogue:and that was on TVNZ Plus yes it was because I mentioned yesterday I've got that full Sam Neill section of the streaming platform

18:56Keyzie:they don't have the Omen 3 which is what I was looking for

19:00Mike Minogue:well they'll only have the right to certain things last night fellas speaking of New Zealand and seeing it back in the day my wife and I finally for the first time ever and this is a show I know nothing about we watched Outrageous Fortune episode 1 Yes. Corky the lawyer is supposed to get Wolf West out of jail in a few months and you get the bloody four years in the slammer, Corky. What the hell is that about? It's a shocker. Hoity J plays Corky, of course. My wife cracked up. She had no idea that you were even in the show. Oh, right.

19:29Keyzie:Okay.

19:30Mike Minogue:And seeing all of the actors in the youngest – the guy from Homelander from The Boys, what's his name? Anthony Starr. Anthony Starr, yes. Anthony Starr playing the twins, one who's like a successful lawyer, the other one who's just the same guy but with a wig on because it's in HD now. You can see these little things. Yes. I loved it because the house that it was filmed at is near my house. I've driven past it plenty of times. Yes, it is. It's now been demolished. There's a whole lot of townhouses with no off-street parking. Yeah, good. However, all the cars in it, as a car person, the first three cars that arrived on set, I was like, I've driven and owned all three of those.

20:04Mike Minogue:Yeah. It was like a brown Commodore, a grey Skyline Ford. I was just like, I used to have one of those. I used to have one of those. And I absolutely loved it. Great show. It is. very very very funny and also dramatic I really enjoyed it it was a great show it is a really

20:18Keyzie:really good show

20:19Mike Minogue:I'm stoked I know nothing about it what's really good about it because I started watching that again a few months ago and what's really good about that first episode is normally they're trying to shove a million storylines down your throat and they do they set everything up but it's done in a way that is not like and now we tell who's this person and now it's just done in a way that's really entertaining which is a hard thing to do but you look at who's in that show every single one of them has gone on to have a great career. A hundred percent. It's so cool seeing all those actors. When did that come out?

20:48Oh God. 2004 I think or five-ish. Even six maybe. Long time ago.

20:52Keyzie:And that's what I loved about also Sleeping Dogs was seeing all, you see all the New Zealand's great actors but when they were really young.

21:01Mike Minogue:A hundred percent. Good stuff. So that is all up on TVNZ Plus by the way, every single season of Outrageous Fortune. I give it four buzzies out of five. One episode in.

21:09Keyzie:Good stuff, mate. Here's Led Zeppelin.

21:13Mike Minogue:The Hauraki Big Show with Jace, Mike and Keezy. Tune in weekdays at four on Radio Hauraki.

21:19Keyzie:Welcome back, you massive backbones. Hope you're getting through your Tuesday okay. You are listening to The Big Show, brought to you by Reburger. Reburger.

21:27Mike Minogue:Frame-worthy street food freshly made with Reburger. Yummy.

21:32Keyzie:Yeah, great stuff. Montoya, eh? Jeez, I remember what that was like when you, you know, you just reach that point where your body, you know, You just go, oh, jeez, I can't do this anymore. I mean, if you're playing professional sport of any kind, you know your body very well and you know when it's time to call it. It's a sad time, but you've just got to do it. You've got to look after yourself. You knew your body wasn't up to it when you were about 12, eh? I did, man. Yeah. Just a shambles.

22:03Mike Minogue:Is that when you found radio?

22:05Keyzie:Oh, no, I didn't find radio until I was about 18, Keezy. Oh, really? Yeah, yeah.

22:09Mike Minogue:Yeah, yeah, yeah. Is that when you're at teacher's college?

22:12Keyzie:But, you know, up until that point, though, Mogie, you know, when I did realise that at 12, I'd had a good five-year career in professional league.

22:21Mike Minogue:In professional rugby league. You played NRL. Come on, Jase.

22:24Keyzie:Just little seven-year-old hoity J. Up the guts. That's what they used to call me. Up the guts. Up the guts, hoity J.

22:33Mike Minogue:Are we turning this five o 'clock opening moment as like a daily lie from Jase? Is that what this is?

22:38Keyzie:I don't know what you're talking about, Keezy.

22:40Mike Minogue:You were seven and you were playing in the NRL. Hey, up next, something that is 100 % truthful, fellas. Oh, yes. And is a guaranteed way to make money, and I'm excited to have you guys involved with it. Yeah, man. It's an investment opportunity, and I want you guys just to go into this with an open mind, all right? Okay. I'm trying to be fully open, all right? Jeez, it's gaping.

22:59Keyzie:It's Nirvana.

23:01Mike Minogue:The Hauraki Big Show with Jace, Mike, and Keezy. Tune in weekdays at four on Radio Hauraki.

23:07Keyzie:The Strokes on the Hauraki Big Show this Tuesday afternoon. The time is 14 minutes past five o 'clock.

23:14Mike Minogue:Fellas, can I ask you a question? Do you like making money? Do you like getting rich?

23:19Keyzie:Yeah, sure.

23:20Mike Minogue:Yeah, yeah. When the money's flowing on into the big show.

23:23Keyzie:Well, it's not my priority, but yeah, sure.

23:26Mike Minogue:No, totally. But, you know, it certainly makes things easier. Oh, I guess, yes. When the money's flowing in. For argument's sake, let's say yes. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Yeah, yeah, yeah. So, like, Hoity J, for example, you like investing. Like, you're a landlord now. You've got various rental properties. Have I? Oh, good. Oh, it's just the one, is it?

23:43Keyzie:Oh, it's just the one at the moment, though, Keezy.

23:45Mike Minogue:Mogey, you invest in stuff as well, eh? Sure. He's a big investor. Is he? I'm a big investor. Yeah, okay.

23:53Keyzie:I get all my tips from old Mogey. Old Mogey over here with the tips.

23:57Mike Minogue:Yeah, right. I wouldn't mind some of them. Can I give you the tip, Keezy? No, I'm all G. You sure? Yeah. But I've got an amazing investment opportunity, fellas, And the great news is all it's going to cost, right, is$400.

24:11Keyzie:Okay.

24:12Mike Minogue:Talk me through it. Talk me through it. So I was thinking we could go four ways, the big show four ways. The total investment is$400, so$100 each. $100 each. Oh, okay.

24:22Keyzie:I thought you meant$400 each.

24:23Mike Minogue:No, no, no.

24:24Keyzie:Okay,$100 each.

24:25Mike Minogue:$100 each. And I think it is a pretty damn good chance to come in. Yeah, I'm a little bit worried about how long this was taken to get to the point. Oh, okay. Okay, fellas, I think we should invest in a racing pigeon. Ah. A racing pigeon. Look, I'm in. You're in? What are we doing? We're gambling on it? I'm assuming that's what we do. No, we own one. Yeah, yeah, yeah. We buy one. Yeah, yeah. I don't think it was one bit on a racing pigeon. Oh, no, that'd be silly. She'll be able to buy the whole league for$400. No, no, so, yeah.

25:10Keyzie:Does that include, like, feed and accommodation?

25:14Mike Minogue:Yeah, yeah. Accommodation for the pigeon. What about the, does that include jockey fees? I'm not sure about jockey fees. I was under the impression that they don't need jockeys. You've got a lot to learn about pigeon racing. Well, to be honest, I do. I don't have any idea. All I know is that there is a pigeon racing syndicate in the South Island. Is there? and you can buy a pigeon. Yeah. And it's$400.

25:39Keyzie:What sort of return are we looking at here, Kesey? Obviously, with any kind of investment. Yeah, that's what I'm interested in. You know, what sort of – what prices are being put forward? Kesey, the thing with racing, any kind of racing industry is, you know, yes, you want to win, but there's also an associated prestige that comes with it. So being in the winner's circle, being seen at the races, all of those sorts of things. Yeah. And I'm sure that that must apply to pigeon races as well. Oh, mate.

26:08Mike Minogue:There must be some. Mate, it's glitz and glam. It's based in Timaru. Oh, Timaruda. That's not what they call it.

26:15Keyzie:Are we investing in a middle-of-the-road pigeon? I don't know. Or is it a top-quality pigeon? Yeah, it better be A number one.

26:23Mike Minogue:I don't know.

26:24Keyzie:How do you know if your pigeon is a thoroughbred?

26:28Mike Minogue:I don't know. All I know is that I have already bought a pigeon. Great. And it's called, you ready for this? Yeah.

26:40Mike Minogue:Pigeon 109. Ah. Does it know and respond to its own name or can we rename it? I don't know. I've never seen it. Sure, sure, sure. I don't know anything about it. I don't know what it looks like. I don't know when the races are. All I know is that I was made aware of a pigeon racing syndicate. Yeah. I was told it was$400. I then got$400 and bought a racing pigeon. Great. Well, I need to know more about this. Can we come back and talk more about this? Sure. In fact, I can do you one better. The guy who runs the whole syndicate is going to come on the phone and just talk us through our investment.

27:08Mike Minogue:He's going to what? He's going to talk us through our investment. Oh, cool. Yeah, great. What's his name? Oh, Tim. Tim. Tim the Pigeon Man. So are you excited, Jase?

27:21Keyzie:Well, I'll see what Tim has to say, and I'll go from there. Yeah, that's right.

27:25Mike Minogue:He likes to be called Pigeon Tim, by the way. I'm glad you guys are on board with it. Well, I'm not on board with it, but I'm not on board with it. All right, well, I need you to know that I have paid the money. That's fine. That was your choice. No, I sort of did it. I'm mostly how the first race goes. Yes.

27:43Mike Minogue:We'll go to the chillies and we'll chat to Pigeon Tim, eh? Yeah, sounds good, man. The Hauraki Big Show, weekdays from four on Radio Hauraki. Yes, indeed.

27:52Keyzie:Queens of the Stone Age there on the Hauraki Big Show this Tuesday afternoon. The time is 26 minutes past 5 o 'clock.

28:01Mike Minogue:Good thing you saved that. JSP would have been fuming. Yeah, I reckon. Exciting news, fellas. If you've just joined us, the Big Show has officially agreed to purchase a racing pigeon. $100 each from the four of us, boom, you secure yourself a racing pigeon known as Pigeon 109 at this stage. You know, there will be, in due course, fellas will be able to get the audience to help us name it, and there's a whole lot of other admin around it as well. but just so you guys can have a bit more information on this investment.

28:27Keyzie:Yeah, because I'd like a bit more information. I don't want to just – I mean, there's bloody thousands of the bastards down on the square every day. I could just pinch one of those and get it for free, Kesey.

28:36Mike Minogue:Oh, 100%. That's why I've got Tim Black, who is sort of the guy who runs the whole pigeon racing syndicate. He goes by the name of Pigeon Tim. G'day, Tim. How are you this afternoon?

28:46Keyzie:Oh, g'day, guys. I'm well. How are you? Yeah, good. Thanks, mate. Good.

28:50Mike Minogue:Good, thanks, Tim. Hey, Tim, just for my colleagues here, mate, because we've been chatting off air and it all sounded like a great investment, you know, when I was talking to you there. Are you able to just sort of answer some questions around the legitimacy of this event? Like this is a very big and highly esteemed event, correct?

29:08Keyzie:Oh, 100%. A very real event. And look, no worries. This is a full-on, good, fast, good flying, yeah, good fun event. So well done for coming on board, guys. Well, don't get too far ahead of yourself. I've got to know that I had to pitch in. to be honest. Pigeon Tim, we haven't guaranteed that. We've just got to find out the ins and outs of it. Now, Keezy's on board, but this is the first we have heard about it. So we need to know a little bit more. My first question for you would be, how many races are there and what are the distances of those races and how many are pigeons in each race? Yeah, no, exactly.

29:42Keyzie:Good questions. 115 birds. We've got a season of eight races, and they're covering distances. So for a start, we use the Omaru Pigeon Club. Yeah. So everyone, all these birds fly back. They're homing pigeons. They fly home to Omaroo. Right. The first race, which is 1st of August, that's going to be from Ashburton at 150km. Wow. And then we go right up to our big distance race, which is on the 3rd of September. That's 470km. That's from Blenheim.

30:12Mike Minogue:Holy cow. So these are huge distances, pigeon, Tim.

30:16Keyzie:What I'm interested in, Tim, you know, is the difference between your sort of stock standard pigeon and your racing pigeon. I'm imagining a racing pigeon would have to have a heavy breast. Oh, good, exactly. You look for a good wing, a great breast, you know, a bit like KFC, really. Yeah. But I tell you what, these are proper racing pigeons. They are very different to what you see under the Ashburton Bridge or something like that.

30:42Mike Minogue:Yeah, right.

30:42Keyzie:Yeah, no, these are proper racing pigeons and have got pedigree. Now, obviously, it's an eight-race season. It's done over a period of weeks and even months there, Pigeon Tim. Brass Tanks, brother, what are we talking about in terms of a per-race purse? What's the prize money? Hey, it's all pretty cool. So we give a donation back to the Pigeon Club for using their pigeons, and the rest of it goes on prize money. So we've got$1 ,000 for first in each race. Yeah, there you go. It's 600 for third, 400 for fourth, 200 for fifth, and 100 for sixth place all the way up to 15th. Wow. Yep.

31:24Mike Minogue:Right, okay. So let's just say our pigeon, Pigeon 109, let's just say. Which is the sixth to last pigeon out of the 115 available. Yeah, but he's.

31:33Keyzie:That does mean they've all been mixed up. Don't panic about that. You know, the last number up is not the worst pigeon.

31:39Mike Minogue:Yeah, right, okay. And Pigeon Tim, if you could just talk us through our particular pigeon, Pigeon 109 You know What can you tell us About that particular bird

31:47Keyzie:You've got a cock bird there Pardon Sorry a who A cock bird A male bird In other words Oh right Yeah gotcha Yeah Yeah So maybe you could Bring something like that Into the name We've got some great names Yeah Your bird No He's a Do you remember Speckled Jim Oh who doesn't remember Speckled Jim It reminds me very much of him So You know A good pedigree I understand Mike Tyson's one of the big breeders of pigeons around the world. I understand this could have a wee bit of a touch of Mike Tyson's bloodline in there. So I think you're in for a good shot, guys. Wow. Would you consider Pigeon 109? This is probably hard to tell, but somebody with your experience would know.

32:26Would you consider it a backbone? Is this the kind of pigeon that just shuts up and gets on with it? And flies?

32:33Keyzie:No, probably more of an impact player. Right, okay. It's going to be good over the shorter distances. I'm thinking like Mike Tyson, you know?

32:41Mike Minogue:Yeah, right. Right, okay. Okay, well look, Pigeon Tim, thank you so much. Just double checking before we let you go. I've definitely secured that bird, right? There's no backing out now.

32:51Keyzie:Yeah, no, you can't get out now, guys. No, we say all sold in under a day, under 24 hours. Wow.

32:56Mike Minogue:Okay, cool, so just checking there. So we are locked in there, fellas. You're not locked and loaded. I mean, you're locked in there. Yeah, this is the thing. This is interesting, Keith. I mean, we're going to have to mull this over. Yeah, right. Well, Pigeon Tim, thank you. You need your name in before the 1st of August. 1st of August. Yeah, mate. Okay, Pigeon Tim, don't worry. We'll take care of that, mate. Thank you so much for having you on to us today. No doubt we'll speak soon. Good on you, mate. Cheers, guys. Cheers, mate. Thank you. Okay, fellas.

33:22Keyzie:Can I just clarify here? It's just the one race? No, it's eight races.

33:26Mike Minogue:Eight races. I don't even know.

33:28Keyzie:On the same day? Eight races on – were you listening? Yeah, I was, but I couldn't decide if it was – There's eight races. The first race is about 140k, and from the sounds of it, the longest distance is over 400k. so there's eight total races each race with its own prize money

33:45Mike Minogue:of five grand I gotcha if you take out the top spot it's five thousand dollars oh I heard one thousand dollars but I might have heard wrong on that no it was one yeah right oh was it Keezy well you're bringing all the facts hard and fast here brother I don't know all I did was see a racing pigeon and buy it fellas but we're in well we're going to talk about it I mean Jason and I will have to have a chat but we'll come back to this later on very interesting just a reminder I've paid for it so yeah good stuff fellas The Hauraki Big Show, weekdays from four on Radio Hauraki.

34:15Keyzie:System of a down there on the Hauraki Big Show this Tuesday evening. The time is 5.41, and, fellas, I've had another boot debacle in my family, and it could cost me my marriage.

34:26Mike Minogue:Right, so the first boot debacle was obviously you found some boots or your wife found them?

34:32Keyzie:Actually, my wife found them initially.

34:34Mike Minogue:In a second-hand store?

34:35Keyzie:In a second-hand store. And she said, what do you think of these?

34:37Mike Minogue:And I went, oh, yeah, yeah, they're quite good. You bought them? They were like a sort of fawny colour boot. They went halfway up the ankle there. Jase purchased them only to discover they were, in fact, women's boots from a bridal footwear company. That's right. You backed yourself, haven't you, Jase? Yeah, I have. To keep on wearing them. Haven't seen them for about three weeks now. Nah. Wore them yesterday, actually. They completely disappeared. They're gone. They're gone. They're gone. They'll never be worn into work again. No, ever again. Unless we question whether he's wearing them or not.

35:02Keyzie:Just to clarify, they're my morning shoe.

35:07Mike Minogue:Oh, for sure they are.

35:08Keyzie:You didn't wear them during breakfast last week. Anyway. Sorry, Dorito dust. So my wife has now. Oh, true story this, by the way. On Sunday, we went out to Mission Bay and we went into an op shop. And then my wife said, oh, what do you think of these boots? Seriously and genuinely. And I went, oh, they're pretty cool. And she said, well, you should try them on. They were women's boots. I don't know what's going on there, but that's by the by. You've just got a beautiful eye dress. Yeah, I guess so. Anyway, so my wife has bought some new boots. Right. And it's completely changed the dynamic of our relationship.

35:49Keyzie:Oh, wow. What kind of boots are they? They're the sort of boots that have, you know, your massive sole on them. You know the ones I'm talking about? They look like almost combat boots. Oh, yes. They've got a really thick sort of three-inch sole. They're quite intimidating looking. Yep. And my wife, she's been wanting to buy this sort of type of boot for a long time. And I was, you know, encouraging and stuff. Oh, good on you. Now, fellas, let me talk you through. Let me talk you through our general routine of a morning when my wife's not working.

36:22Mike Minogue:You need to talk to your morning routine. We get up in the morning.

36:24Keyzie:One of us will make a coffee. Okay, that's all good. We'll have a shower. Together. Well, sometimes. And then we'll go for a little walk in town. And as we're walking in town, fellas, you're going to go and have a coffee and a little light breakfast somewhere. As we're walking in town, we'll have a bit of chitter chat. And we'll be walking side by side having a bit of chitter chat. That was the case today. I said, oh, let's go out. We're going to go to this place and have a coffee and a bit of food. Very nice. We're walking along side by side. And I go to chitter chat with my wife. And she's like three inches taller than me now.

37:00Keyzie:And so she only used to be about a centimetre taller than me. Now she's a good three, four inches taller than me. Wow. And it's completely changed the vibe and dynamic of our relationship. Wow. And I found it massively off-putting. So instead of sort of looking to my side, I'm now having to look to my side and look up. And there was just something about the way she was wearing these new boots and looking down on Hoity J. And I was like, I don't know that I'm happy about this. This is all a bit. It's incongruous It felt incongruous And it's just been bugging me all day Yeah right It sort of makes her on a par Or more of a par with everybody else in your life She would have been the only one previously That you didn't look up to Would that be her in about right?

37:47Keyzie:That's accurate Mo Yeah yeah yeah She's always been taller than me And I've noticed as I've got older My spine has collapsed So I'm actually losing height Yeah Whereas she's always been relatively tall But never that tall Yeah And I'm literally now having to look upwards towards the sky when I'm having my morning chitty chat stroll with her.

38:08Mike Minogue:Whereas she's sort of hunching down hands on her knees and bending down and going, what's that little fella?

38:14Keyzie:That's exactly, we got to the lights and I said something and she did that. She squatted down and had her hands on her knees. It was like, what's that little hoity jizz?

38:23Mike Minogue:And then said, here, take my hand. We're going to cross the road.

38:26Keyzie:She did do that, Casey, because I think she was feeling the power. of it.

38:31Mike Minogue:Yeah.

38:31Keyzie:And it's just, I don't know that I'm happy about this change in the dynamic here.

38:35Mike Minogue:You know what you should do?

38:36Keyzie:What's that?

38:38Mike Minogue:Take those boots you bought, the thorny coloured ones, and get like some three inch soles put on them. That'll show her. I think they do them with a sort of stiletto heel, actually. You'd be looking really sharp then, Jase. Yeah.

38:49Keyzie:Actually, that's not a bad idea, fellas. That's a really good one. Take it to a, what are they called? A cobbler. Cobbler. Yeah. Do we have cobblers still? Yeah.

38:57Mike Minogue:Yeah. No, he's got one. Yeah.

38:59Keyzie:And I'll get like a six-inch heel. Yeah, now we're talking. We should do that. Here's audio slow.

39:10Mike Minogue:The Hauraki Big Show with Jace, Mike and Keezy. Tune in weekdays at four on Radio Hauraki.

39:16Keyzie:Yeah, welcome back, you massive backbones. How's your Tuesday going? Good, I hope. You're listening to The Big Show, incidentally, brought to you by Reet Burger. Yummy.

39:25Mike Minogue:Handcrafted burgers, loaded fries and gourmet eats that will change the game. I just like the chatty ones. What are you having for dinner, Chase?

39:37Keyzie:That's okay.

39:38Mike Minogue:What are you having for dinner, man?

39:40Keyzie:I'm having tacos. Tacos, yes. Tacos, yeah.

39:45Mike Minogue:Tacos.

39:45Keyzie:Is that how you say it? Tacos. Tacos. Tacos.

39:49Mike Minogue:You're just saying your native accent. Yes. Tacos, yeah.

39:53Keyzie:You know, which I'm a fan of. I've got it in that.

39:56Mike Minogue:Soft or hard shell?

39:57Keyzie:Hard shell. We're talking hard shell.

39:59Mike Minogue:So hard shell sucks.

40:00Keyzie:I suggested to my wife, actually, the soft shell, Keezy, this afternoon. She said no. Why? Because she doesn't like soft shell. She likes hard shell. I don't mind them, actually. They're a treat. You get them in the oven there. You hang them up on the little bars. You heat them up. They're a treat. They are a weird thing. I'd spend a bit of time in Mexico. They don't have them over there. No. Weirdly enough. They're not at all. No. Wow. And the funny thing is my wife doesn't like tacos, but my daughter does, and I do. And so she went, oh, that's fine. Her suggestion. Does she like wraps? Yes, she does.

40:35What's she got against tacos? That seems odd.

40:39Mike Minogue:So she likes wraps. Does she like burritos? Yes. Oh, yes. Okay. Well, you know, if she likes wraps but doesn't like tacos, a soft shell taco would probably please everyone.

40:51Keyzie:As I suggested, but no. Oh, that's interesting. Kesey, you said you've had some terrible home delivery stuff again, box stuff, which you didn't order, and so they've given you very random food. What have you got on the plate tonight, mate?

41:07Mike Minogue:Yeah, I got sent my food bag that we forgot to cancel. Oh, yeah. It just showed up. We're like, oh, God. Yeah. And then we opened it. We're like, oh, what is this? Three of them are Mexican, actually, different meals. My wife is fuming, like three of them involved. She hasn't liked Mexican meals either. No, just not three beef, mince, and chili beans meals in a row. Tonight we're having nachos. So, and last night we had a Mexican beef bowl. Oh, God. And the good news is it's all the same ingredients. Yeah. Yeah, nice. To be fair, delicious. Mogi, what are you having? Well, yesterday I had no meat.

41:40I had a meat-free day. Nice. And tonight I'm doing the same. Although we are having meatballs for dinner, but they're made out of tofu.

41:48Mike Minogue:So it's tofu. Tofu bolos. Yuck. The Boulos. Is tofu yum? I've never eaten tofu. Well, it's inoffensive. It's an inoffensive thing. So you can make it with other things, and the other things can be yummy, but your tofu will give you a decent amount of texture and a decent amount of protein, I would say.

42:08Keyzie:It's an absorber of flavor. I do like a sort of deep-fried tofu in my hot pot. I'll give you that.

42:15Mike Minogue:Okay, but I should try a yummy tofu. A tofu puff is a good treat in sort of a hot, sour soup. Yeah, nice. I like it. Maybe I've had that, actually, in like a luxa. There's little tofu bits, maybe. Yeah, that's it. I don't think so, Keezy.

42:28Keyzie:Hey, now listen, text us.

42:33Mike Minogue:What's for dinner, New Zealand? What are you having? Text us 3483, your name, where you're texting from, and you could win$50 worth of Reburger.

42:42Keyzie:Yeah, man. 3483. Here's the Arctic Monkeys.

42:47Mike Minogue:The Hauraki Big Show with Jase, Mike, and Keezy. Tune in weekdays at four on Radio Hauraki.

42:53Keyzie:Faith no more there on the Radio Hauraki big show this Tuesday evening, but right now it's time for...

42:59Mike Minogue:Oh, yeah, hey, guys. Text here from Steve. What's for tea, New Zealand? With me, Katie. That's right, the segment where you text in on 3483 what you're having for dinner, where you are, what your name is, etc., and you can win. Excuse me. Everyone's just falling apart today. Oh, God. I hear my voice getting worse and worse. God, what the hell? And you can win$50 with Reburger. You guys, I love that Pugs has put the old sting in. You guys haven't even noticed. Huh? So that's good. We're going to keep it how it used to be. G'day, fellas. Tracy here.

43:34Keyzie:Chapman? Oh, Fast Car. We were talking about her today, actually. It's a great song. You and me? No, we weren't. No, my wife and I.

43:41Mike Minogue:You always get them mixed up, eh? Yeah, I do. Yeah, it's Tracy Fast Car. G'day, guys. It's Tracy Farskar here having leftover hangi bubble and squeak for dinner with fresh bread. Yum. I don't think I've ever had hangi in New Zealand, but I've had a lot of it in Australia. A lot of it. Weird. And bloody delicious. And the thing about a hangi, and actually more to the point, a boil up. Ah, yes. A boil up. Now, your boil up really starts coming into its own on day three. Yes. So you've got to make sure you cook a lot because people can't stay away from the pot, but it doesn't come into its own until day three.

44:17Anyway, that sounds foul.

44:19Keyzie:Oh. Just joking, it sounds good. I think I've had a hangi once. That's it. Any good? Yeah, it was, yum. Oh, yeah? We used to have a steam box, which is kind of a similar thing, even though I know you bury. A steamer box? When we lived in Rotorua. Is that what you call it? Oh, the natural. The natural stuff. We had a little, it was bloody disgusting.

44:42Mike Minogue:But it's pretty cool that you could use the natural. It was.

44:45Keyzie:It would be infused with a sulphur. Yes, it tasted like sulphur mogi. Thank you. Sulphur mogi.

44:50Mike Minogue:In Japan, they do a similar thing and they cook these special eggs in the sulphur. I cooked some eggs today for breakfast. Oh, my God. Really? No. Far out. Full circle here on the big show. G'day there, fellas. Who's that? Yosef here. J-O-S-E-F. Is that Yosef? Franz Yosef Glacier. Wow. Yeah, it's Franz Joseph, the glacier. I'm having some scrumptious bacon and eggs on toast. Have a good one.

45:20Keyzie:You know, sometimes I'm fond of a basic. The only thing I'd do there, if I'm doing it for dinner, I'd chuck some beans in there too, some baked beans. I probably wouldn't. And for some reason, when you're saying that it's at dinner time, I'm making it a sandwich on two pieces of white toast. Same here. And I'm putting some tomato sauce on it as well. I agree.

45:39Mike Minogue:I love a bacon, Sammy.

45:40Keyzie:Well, that's why I have the beans, because I need a saucy element. Nah, that's wrong. I need a soul seal.

45:48Mike Minogue:It's crazy when you're watching someone just have an absolute mozza. You know what I mean? It just absolutely. It keeps on doubling down on it. Just butchering it, yeah. It's just so bad. So good. Everyone's disagreeing. G'day, guys. My name's Carol. Carol. Sweet Caroline. Carol. Christmas. It's Carol Christmas. G'day, guys. Christmas Carol. Carol Christmas here. I'm friends with Josef, Franz Josef Glacier. I'm having sausages and chips. No. Yes, delicious. I frigging love that meal. Do you know what? I've been getting into my sausages a little bit lately, and sausages are yum. I made sausages.

46:28I made bangers and mash the other night. Yum, yes. And my daughter had something else because she's a vegetarian by choice. She doesn't like eating animals. Cooked up half a dozen of the sausages there. By the time it was ready to serve them up, there was only three left. Yeah.

46:44Keyzie:Yum, that's good. I'm just in the kitchen. I'm just eating them all up. Can I just say on that front, because we did a saucies en masse, but deviled sausages. But here's the thing, fellas. Not out of a packet. We got a recipe for it and made genuine deviled sausages. They were the bomb.

46:59Mike Minogue:That's so good, man. Genuinely deviled. Yes. Don't they have, like, some kind of fruit in them, though? Yeah, they have apple. Yeah. Yum. Garbage. G'day, guys. One last one here. Do you know, can I just step in there, Keezy? The other thing I don't like about a sausage is at no point are they fried so they don't have the crispy outside.

47:16Keyzie:Oh, no, we fry them first.

47:18Mike Minogue:And then devil them.

47:19Keyzie:And then devil them. You're a devil, you.

47:22Mike Minogue:You sneaky bastard. You're still way out of line about the bacon and eggs thing, though.

47:27Keyzie:And beans.

47:28Mike Minogue:Why did you make a cat noise? I don't know. The Hauraki Big Show with Jace, Mike and Keezy. Tune in weekdays at four on Radio Hauraki.

47:37Keyzie:I'm sustained on the big show this Tuesday evening. Oh, here's old Pugson. Oh, it's Pugson. Evening, fellas. How are we? Yeah, good, thanks, mate. Yourself? Yeah, good, thanks. Thanks for having me. Liking your denim jacket. Looks good. Cheers. Liking your black hoodie. Thanks, man. Nice.

47:57Mike Minogue:Good one, Pugson. Got him good. You got him. No, but I am liking your jacket. No, it's cool. Cheers, Jase. That was the part about the hoodie. Yeah. Now, the reason I've asked Pugsan to come in there, fellas, is because he's made an interesting life change in the past couple of days, and I'm really proud of him. Pugs, do you want to talk us through it? First of all, Chris, thank you for bringing it to these guys' attention. I did want to tell everybody as a team, but it kind of came out with Chris a bit earlier. And I really trust you guys. We've been doing this show for a long time now, and I figure this is probably a good safe space for me to kind of bring it up, and hopefully you guys can back me, hold me accountable, things like that.

48:33Mike Minogue:So I And this is a decision for me and my partner We've both decided to make this call But I have decided That I am going to get off The booze Off the booze fellas how good Off the booze Thank you for two weeks

48:55Mike Minogue:For two weeks Yeah so I'm doing a dry fortnight Wow A dry fortnight have you ever heard of that fellas A dry fortnight?

49:03Keyzie:Nah.

49:06Mike Minogue:Get out, pugs. Well, no. We need to... Hang on. Jay, so why a fortnight, pugs? Why a fortnight? So obviously there's a lot of events on the social calendar for my partner and I, and we sort of worked out... Obviously. Carry on. And we sort of worked out when there was a good two-week block where we didn't have as many social commitments that would involve having a beer with people as we usually do. And we thought, you know what, let's do it. You know, we're also on a bit of a health kick at the moment, so this aligns well with that. So we're just sort of trying to recalibrate, take a moment, and hopefully come out the other side shiny and chrome.

49:44Mike Minogue:Yeah, nice. So another little update here, fellas. Has it been going for you? You been off the beers? It's been all good? Yeah, I've been off the beers since Sunday. Great. So that's what, two days. Good work. How's it going for your partner? Last night she realised that she has quite a few client events that she has to go to this week, so she's parked it. So she had one day off the piss and now she's back on it again? Yep. And you've had two days off? Yeah, but I'm flying, man. I'm committed. So you had a beer on Sunday? I had a wine on Sunday, yeah. Mate came around and watched the movie. So it's been one day off?

50:17Mike Minogue:One full 24 hours. So does that mean your partner hasn't even had a full 24 hours off yet? No, no, no, she said a full 20. It's Tuesday now. So 24 hours ago, she was already off the beers. Yeah, yeah, yeah. So that makes sense to me. How do you feel about that, Jase? Get out, pugs. The Hauraki Big Show. Weekdays from four on Radio Hauraki.

50:44Keyzie:Well, there you go, you mad bastards. That's the big show done and dusted this Tuesday. Hope you enjoyed the show. Now, the podcast outro is bonus material we do. It's basically the warm-up to the radio show.

50:55Mike Minogue:Do it daily, Jase. We do. Comes out at 7.30 every single night. Search Haraki Big Show, where you get your podcast from. And this one is a great story that old Mogi told. And his sister comes into the kitchen and goes, hey, how are you going? And it takes him a while to compute it, but then he's like, what are you doing here? And then he flashes back and remembers that he's meant his... Oh, no. One of the all-time great yarns. One of the all-time shockers.

51:23Keyzie:So much so that we actually had to put a disclaimer on that one. Yeah, it's an absolute disclaimer. Now, I pulled it back, that story, a little bit, just because it is such a shocker. But even still, even the watered-down version is not for the kiddies.

51:35Mike Minogue:Yeah, because most of our stuff is usually for kiddies. Well, it's not not for kiddies. Yeah. You know what I mean? Yeah, totally.

51:42Keyzie:Now, Moggy, home for you, quick supper, a lemon and barley drink. Barley?

51:49Mike Minogue:Lemon and barley. What is barley? Isn't that an old cordial?

51:52Keyzie:Yeah, it is. Lemon and barley. Then you tuck yourself up with your little hot, what are they called, electric blanket. Hot water bottle. And then a little snooze for old Moogie. Nah, I'm going to go out for a few beers. Yeah. Oh, yeah, good stuff. Got half a packet of darts. Yeah.

52:10Mike Minogue:Do some bloody Ultraman as well. Yeah, get some Ultraman up there just to clear me out for the olives. Nah, I will go home. I will have some dinner. I'm probably going to get into a bath.

52:19Keyzie:Oh, yeah. Get a full-on muscle relaxing going on there and there. Then hop into bed and she'll be light, see how it feels.

52:27Mike Minogue:Do you have a little bath caddy thing that you have your laptop on? You can do a bit of work. No, I don't, actually. My daughter's got one where she keeps her Barbies. I tell her a lie. Where she keeps her Barbies is all over the floor. But she does have a bath caddy, yeah.

52:40Keyzie:I might get a bath caddy. No, just have your bath. Don't tell me how to bath, Jase. Enjoy the moment I am Don't get your little Doosh doosh games In there while you Relax Just enjoy the hot water On your bullos Hey You and I are playing Golf tomorrow We'll see you there mate Maybe make an extra Sammy eh Because I will be Under the gun Tomorrow morning

53:03Mike Minogue:Nope I'll be making a Sammy tonight though We'll see you tomorrow Though Jase Yeah good stuff

53:07Keyzie:You take care out there Check out the Instagram Check out The podcast The podcast See you tomorrow Goodbye Bye Thank you.