FULL SHOW: The Perfect Europe Itinerary

11:55Keyzie:Yeah. We're going to hear some later on because we've got a soundtrack for them now. The Hauraki Big Show with Jace, Mike and Kesey. Tune in weekdays at four on Radio Hauraki. Nirvana there on the Radio Hauraki Big Show this Tuesday afternoon. The time is 4.35. Hey, New Zealand, do you want to crank your hog? Then listen up. Yeah, New Zealand, do you want to crank your hog? That, of course, means pimp your ride or hot up your vehicle. Soup it up. Hot it up. Soup it up. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Thanks to our mates at Panhead and their brand new Roadhog NZ IPA. They've come to us, they've given us a bunch of cash, and they've said, hey, guys, we want to run a competition where people send in photos of their cars to hodaki.co.nz, tell us what needs doing, and then they win the opportunity to maybe get the funds to crank your hog, to pimp your ride.

12:45Keyzie:It's funny, actually. It's made me think about, Mogi, when we had our sidecar, you know, the motorbike and sidecar. That was a mean-looking bastard, Keezy. We put all sorts of stuff on it. What kind of bike was it?

12:59Jase:I think it was a Triumph, wasn't it? Yeah, it was a Triumph.

13:01Keyzie:It was a Triumph, yeah. A twin?

13:04Jase:No, we're not related at all. A lot of people think that, but I think it's just the big honk. Oh, it's just the big nose. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Actually, just on motorbikes, Gareth from Whangarei dropped us a line on hudakki.co.nz. He sent through a photo of his – it looks like a Harley there. My old bike has been sitting in the garage for two years. Would love to get her running again. New wheel rims, which are rusty, a new battery, a service. Please blow some life back into the only thing I have left after focusing on five kids and a lovely wife for the past 18 years. Yeah, yeah.

13:34Keyzie:That makes me sick, that message a little bit. Five kids. Five kids for a start. Well, you've only got yourself to blame. How many have you got? But also the thing about it is, and Harley owners will understand this, If you can't do your own Harley, then you're not entitled to buy a Harley.

13:52Jase:Yeah, that's what they say.

13:53Keyzie:If you can't do it up yourself, mate, then you have no right owning a Harley. Have you ever owned a Harley? Jesus, yes. Can I ask? No. It's none of your business, Keezy. When did you own it? I'll send you some pics later on. Yeah, cool. Yeah, yeah, yeah. What style was it? Of his hog. Can you send me some photos of your hog later on? Yeah, totally, man. But the good news is Gareth from Whangarei, him and his Harley, we can hopefully get it all patched up, get it back on the road for him, and he'll be in there with the wind blowing through what's left of his hair. Yes. And not thinking about the five kids at home that he's got.

14:31So hopefully, Gareth, fingers crossed. Yes. And don't forget, if you're in a similar predicament, our mates at Panhead with the new Roadhog NZIPA, they've given us some cash. Just go to hodaki.co.nz, send us photos, is tell us about your vehicle and you can win the opportunity,

14:46Keyzie:which would be bloody good. How's your little truckie going, by the way, Keezy? It's going great. You've fixed it up? It's all good? Yeah, I think I've said it about ten times. I've fixed it. It's at home. Need to get a warrant for it. Oh, you should enter the competition. The panhead one? Yeah. I don't know if I can enter hodaki competitions, guys. Really? You can't. You can't win. Oh. Yeah. So I just send a photo of my car and a little blurb, and then I read it out on the big show. That's right. And cross my fingers. There's new order. The Hauraki Big Show. Weekdays from four on Radio Hauraki.

15:20Keyzie:Green day there on the Radio Hauraki Big Show. This Tuesday afternoon, the time is 4.45. Let's talk TV. What's on the telly with Mike Minogue?

15:35Keyzie:Yes.

15:37Jase:Yes.

15:44Jase:Yeah. I watched a show called Noob last night. It's a New Zealand comedy thingy-majiggy. It might have been on TVNZ Plus, maybe not. I don't know. But it's focused on a school rugby star. He's the man. He's the champ. He's the coolest. But he's gay, Jase. He's gay. Jase. Jase. What? Wow. And also, and this is the main thing, not so much that he's gay, it's that he's keeping it a secret because he lives in Gore. Actually, they had Jeremy Wells and Mikey Havoc redoing that thing from back in the day where they said that Gore is gay with a couple of actors. Did they really? It was those two, which was pretty funny.

16:32Jase:Yeah, it's good. I've got to watch a few more, but I'll keep you posted. I would have loved it if I was a teenager. It's very, very, very sexual. Very sexual. Jase. Very Jase. Jase. It was very sexual. Anyway, so far, I'm going to go three and a half buzzies. I'll keep you updated. That's three and a half buzzies out of five. So far the average. Yes. What was it called? Noob. Noob. Yeah, I don't know why. N-double-O-B. Yeah, that is weird because a noob is usually someone who sucks at a video game. In my head, I thought it was a video game related thing, so I never showed any interest in it. But there you go.

17:07Jase:Oh, wow. Nothing to do with that at all. And you said it was very sexual. Very, very, very sexual. What was that on? It's on TVNZ+. Definitely. In the first episode, they play a game. I don't know. Actually, I probably... Because I haven't seen that, and I've gone through their stuff quite a bit. Yeah, it's... I can't probably name the game, I don't think. Even though it's not explicit, everybody knows it. It's about a biscuit. You know that one? Yeah, yeah. Yeah, that one. Oh, is it about the sort of structural integrity of the biscuit? Yeah. Yeah, okay. The dampness of it.

17:35Keyzie:I can't help you much today, Fadis, because I'm continuing on with Slow Horses. Just finished Series 3. And what I've got to say is normally after a period of time like that, I'm kind of over it. I'm still enjoying it.

17:49Jase:I thought it got better by Series 3 as well. Not that it was ever bad. Not that it was ever bad. I thought it continued to get better.

17:54Keyzie:Yes, and that's on Apple TV. So if you do have that, I recommend it. It's good stuff, TZ. Good eating. I watched a show last night, very much of my wife's choosing. Here we go. It's called Love It or List It.

18:09Jase:Oh, sure. And it's on TVNZ+. It doesn't sound like it's up your alley at all. What's the name of the guy on Educators who goes to the school because his daughter's - Paul Glover. Paul Glover, who's a real estate agent. He is. He's the host. Like all great actors in New Zealand, you must also be something else. That's right. Mike Minogue and Jason Hoyt on the radio. Real estate. So he is the guy who really wants them to list it. And then you've got a woman named Alex who won the block years and years and years ago who wants them to love their current home and stay in it. Oh. And so they give her a budget.

18:41They say, oh, we've got 50 grand. We need it upsized. We need this, this, this. Our current home's not cutting it. She will do their home up with the hopes that they will stay in the home. Right. Whereas Paul will take them around to three other homes and try to get them to list it and buy one of these ones. I like this. My prediction, I think it's the first ever season. It's on TVNZ+. And it's very like your mum and dad would watch it while they're having a cup of tea or something. Like it's real vanilla watching.

19:05Keyzie:It's very Keezy's wife, kind of. But also, it's probably very you as well. Well, there's the Australian equivalent, which has been running for about five years. Oh, right. Yes. Yeah, well, there you go. So it's that, but the New Zealand version. And a UK version as well. Right. Yes. So the thing I predicted, well, five minutes into the first episode, I was just thinking about it. I was like, they're just going to stay in their house every single time. Right. Because they give them money, they come back, they have like a double the value of what they've invested redo on the house. It looks amazing.

19:32And the drama going, like you, sure he shows you some other houses but you still have to like put in a bid and an offer that's high enough and you have to sell your house you have to pack you have to move way more admin you can just say oh we're just going to stay here now

19:43Jase:I would move but you've done it up to move so you get more for the one you're selling because you wouldn't go into the you wouldn't go into the competition I'm assuming unless you were like I'm over this house I want to move and I don't know how far 50 grand would go yeah but it's just 50 grand and then they get a whole lot of freebies kicked in and like you know yeah so it's heaps

20:00Keyzie:because I always watch those shows and I go That's bollocks that that's going to cost 50 grand. It's more like 100.

20:07Jase:Yeah, I remember that.

20:08Keyzie:And you hear often, just on this, by the way, when they do these big do-ups often, they're shithouse. And within a couple of months, they're all falling apart and people are going, this was terrible. This one's not. Like, it's good quality stuff. Yeah, yeah, Jase. And you can tell. It's really good. But I predicted it straight away. We've watched two episodes and both times I've just gone, no, we're going to stay here at our house.

20:30Jase:Yeah. Because I cannot understand why they would shift. And I think, a prediction, I think that's what's going to happen for every single episode of the season. Okay, well, let us know. You keep us updated. Keep us a score for the whole season, would you?

20:40Keyzie:I don't know if I will. I'll just tell you, on the UK and Australian versions of those, kind of a similar thing. What, they always keep it? Generally speaking. Because it looks amazing and they just can't be asked. Oh, the memories here and blah, blah, blah, blah. And, yeah. I fantasise about someone coming around to my house and doing that. Doing what? Just fixing it and stuff, making it look ace. You know that could happen, but you'd have to pay for it. Well, I'm not doing that. Oh. The Hauraki Big Show with Jace, Mike and Kesey. Tune in weekdays at four on Radio Hauraki. Red hot! Chilli peppers there on the Radio Hauraki Big Show this Tuesday afternoon.

21:18Keyzie:The time is four minutes to five o 'clock. Plenty going on after five o 'clock, by the way. Your chance to go in the draw to the trip to Fiji with the fellas. That's right. You just have to listen out for this cue to call. To get in the draw to join the fellas in Fiji, call 0800-HORAKI. That's pretty clear. That's clear. Don't do it now. Not now. That's what you're listening out for. It's going to play at some point in the 5 o 'clock hour. Also, the fellas are going to help me out realising my dream of travelling to Europe because it sounded so amazing. It's pretty awesome. With your guys' trip, I just simply must get there.

21:51Keyzie:Simply must.

21:52Jase:Well, you've got a week off next year and we're going to put the itinerary together for you, mate. Oh, how good. Yeah, yeah, yeah. It's going to be taking into account mine and Mogi's vast knowledge of Europe and your measly amount of leave. And together we will put together the perfect European holiday. Plus, Jase practices telling a Jase yarn with the new Jase yarn music. It's not happening, Keezy.

22:14The Hauraki Big Show with Jase, Mike and Keezy. Tune in weekdays at 4 on Radio Hauraki.

22:20Keyzie:Hope you're surviving your Tuesday. You're listening to The Big Show, brought to you by Reburger. Crave worthy street food freshly made with old Ree burger. Yummy. Yeah, man. I'm really excited because coming up. Sorry, what? I've been telling the fellows how excited I am about going to Europe and I've asked if they can help me out. And they've been all hands on deck, I have to say, and I'm stoked about it. Yep, all our hands are on the deck and Mogi's already started preparations. Yes. Which is good. And as we said, it's a very delicate balance because Europe's on the other side. You won't know this.

22:56Europe's on the other side of the world, right?

22:57Jase:Well, if you believe that there is another side to the world. Yeah. Come on, man. Well, I mean, it's a plane. Not that much of a deer brain, Kesey. Right. Well, that's one of the things you've got to factor in is Europe's really far away, right? And then you've also got to factor in that you have, like, four days annual leave next year. And so putting those things together, if we bring in a long weekend, we can stretch that out to a week. Yes. Yeah. Yeah. So we can really get you bang for buck. Yeah. And Mogi's just putting together an itinerary now. That's right.

23:27Keyzie:I'm massively looking forward to it. Also coming up this hour, of course, your chance to get in the draw for our trip to Fiji, which isn't millions of miles away. It's pretty close, actually. It's very close. You'll be coming with us, and we'll be playing one of the finest, well, it's a championship golf course in Fiji, staying at the Intercontinental. All you have to do is listen out for the cue to call, which we'll play at some point. As soon as you hear it, call 0800-HAURAKI-QUICK-SMART. Beautiful. Here's Audio Slay. The Hauraki Big Show. Weekdays from four on Radio Hauraki. Blink 182 there on the Radio Hauraki Big Show this Tuesday afternoon.

24:01Keyzie:The time is 12 minutes past five o 'clock. Now, for those of you that have been living under a rock, me and old Moggy went to Europe recently. You simply must. You simply must go if you've never been. Jase has never been. He gives off I've never been to Europe vibes. And he's looking to change that. So next year, Jase, you've got four days annual leave. You're looking to turn that into a week-long holiday. Yeah, I think I'll par it up with a long weekend scenario. Like an Anzac Day or something like that. Yeah, something like that. Turn it into a week. Moggy and I have been, we've put our heads together.

24:31We've planned the perfect sort of week-long, it's actually nine days. It's actually a long time.

24:35Jase:It's a long time. It's a big holiday. It is, yeah. Itinerary for Europe. It's a good amount of time because you can really switch off.

24:41Keyzie:Yeah, look, can I just say before we get into this, I really appreciate it, fellas. No worries, man. Because as you know, I don't really have much of a clue, and it seems quite a long way away, and I'm a bit intimidating. But you feel as a well-travelled, seasoned traveller, so I appreciate it.

24:57Jase:It's a bugger, mate. Well, let's just crack into it here. On the Friday at 7pm, show finishes, big show finishes. Yes. Congratulations, mate, you're on holiday. You're on holiday. Yeah, boy. How good. You leave work, you go straight home, and you go to bed because your flight's not until 10 o 'clock the following night. Oh. No, just with the long weekend and everything, there's not a lot of flights around. Really? This far out? Yeah, you sleep until 6am, that's 11 hours out of your holiday gone. You wait all day until 6pm to head to the airport, that's another 12 hours gone. You fly out at 10pm.

25:30Jase:That's a good time. That's a good, because you can sleep all during the night. That's a 17 hour flight. So that's 40 hours gone of your holiday. But you're in, oh, is he in Europe yet? No, he's in Dubai. He's landed in Dubai. So you land in 6am Dubai time, You've got an eight-hour layover before you fly to Frankfurt. Eight hours, man. That's pretty good. It's a big airport. Is that pretty standy, is it? That's really good. Because how long was your layover? I think like three or four hours. Yeah, mine was only two. Yeah, yeah. That's good for Dubai. Eight hours? Yeah, yeah. Yeah, that's pretty good.

26:02Jase:Well, I can have a little ticky tour around, can't I? They've got some great smokers lounges over there, Joe. Super. 2 p.m. you're flying to Frankfurt. That's a seven-hour flight. Yes. Notoriously difficult flights that one, so hopefully that one's running on time. Yeah, yeah. And then you're straight into another eight-hour layover. In Frankfurt. You're in Europe, man. Congrats. Oh, wow. You're already in Europe. I will be fizzing. So what's that? Like two and a half days in and he's in Europe? Yeah, you've got 177 hours of your 240-hour holiday. Actually, just on that, I recommend think of your holiday in hour terms like that.

26:34Yeah. Just toss them off.

26:36Jase:Every hour is precious, isn't it? It is. That's right. So now it's Monday already. Shit, it was a minute ago. It was Friday night. You're just finishing the show up. Time flies when you're in Europe, man. Trust me. Yeah, well, it's different, isn't it? It disappears. So at 5 a.m., you're flying to Madrid. Congratulations. Yeah, boy. 8 a.m., or it'll be 10 a.m., you get to the hotel, but you can't check in until 4. Yeah, that's classic for Europe. Oh, is it? Yeah, and they don't need to leave your bag there either. No, they hate you. So I have to take my bags with me. You'd have to take it. And it's hot as shit as well.

27:06Jase:And you're in your jeans and your weird hoodie, and it's 35 degrees. But you've got to think of that as like a slight inconvenience to really get sold out. I'll just be stoked to be there. Yeah, you'll be in Europe.

27:15Keyzie:You're in Europe, man. I'm in Europe. Yeah, totally.

27:18Jase:So you check in, you fall asleep, you're absolutely buggered. Yeah, you'll be knackered somewhere. Oh, yeah, because of the jet laggy thing you were saying, yeah. You wake up the next day, you've got to check out at 8am. Oh, God. Because we're on the move, man. And the issue is, Jase, because of the time constraints. Yes. We've got to get you around to as many good places as possible. You've got to get to Paris, bro. Oh, Paris, yes. You've ticked Spain on. You've ticked Spain. You've done Spain. Okay, so Spain, yeah, go ahead. All you need is one night in Madrid and you have done, Sam. That's right.

27:45Jase:So now you're off to Paris. You're back out to the Barcelona airport you're going to go to. Barcelona. That's quite a way, isn't it? Oh, sorry, Madrid. We'll get you back to the Madrid one. Eight-hour layover. You have to wait for your flight. We'll get you on that flight and you'll land at about 10 p.m. in Paris. But the good thing about that, and Jace, Paris was my suggestion because I loved it. Yes. So good. Nobody eats dinner in Paris until like 10. No, that's right. How good. Sadly, you can't check into your hotel because check-in closes at eight. Yeah, they're big on that in Europe.

28:18Jase:So you're going to have to sleep on the street. Right, with my luggage? But have you heard the saying, the city that never sleeps? I have, wee wee. Do you know why they call it that? Because it always feels like somebody's watching you. You're sort of always in danger. Yeah, yeah, yeah. So look out.

28:35Keyzie:So on the, but that, I mean, what a great way to soak up the atmosphere. I'll sleep on the street with my luggage. Jase, you're in Europe, man.

28:45Jase:Totally, man. How good, cobbled streets. So that's the end of Tuesday, and you're down to about 101 hours left of this holiday. You are loving it. Now, the next day, obviously, you can't check in. You've missed your check-in, but we do really want to – I know how you feel about Croatia. Oh, mate. To be honest, one night's all you need for France, for Paris. Yeah, that's it. You've seen Paris. Yeah, would it be the same without your missus there, to be honest with you? Do you know what I mean? Yeah, totally. So then we get you off to the airport. You've got an eight-hour wait for your flight out to...

29:18Jase:Oh, it is pretty standy, isn't it? Oh, eight hours. It's honestly good. That's good for Europe. Yeah, totally. And then it's a four-hour flight over there to Croatia. Oh. And finally you get to check into your hotel. Congratulations. Oh, wow. Beautiful. Dubrovnik? Dubrovnik, yeah. Yeah, wow. Amazing. Then you sleep for 18 hours because you're absolutely rooted through your travels.

29:37Keyzie:Well, I would because I slept on the street in Paris with my luggage. Yeah, yeah, yeah. On the cobbles. But we'll get you in a nice three-star or something that night.

29:46Jase:Then, yeah, yeah. And you sleep on the beach there. You have a lovely time as well. You think, I'd better get out and see the place. You have another six-hour nap. You wake up, someone's stolen your passport, so you've got to go to the New Zealand embassy. That happens all the time in Europe. Does it? Yeah. It's like a rite of passage. If you think you're coming home with your original passport, mate, you're dreaming. Yeah, yeah, yeah. It just doesn't happen. Wow. Not in Europe. So the one night there, and then it's pretty much back by the time he gets back. That's right. And then you get back to the hotel, grab the rest of your belongings, it's back to the airport, mate.

30:15Jase:You're off to Dubai, but you've got an eight-hour layover. Yeah, yeah. Again? Yeah, no, that's pretty good. And then what time does it land on the Monday? Well, you land at 3 p.m. on the Monday. You'll be late for work. Actually, we've got a promo meeting that day too.

30:27Keyzie:Oh, yeah. So far up. That is... Thanks, fellas. I mean, that is great stuff. Mate, you are going to love it, and we're going to miss you. And I'm just going to go straight back onto the show. G'day, you mad bastards. The Hauraki Big Show with Jace, Mike and Keezy. Tune in weekdays at four on Radio Hauraki. The Big Show Swingers Club is back. And this time, it's going global. Yeah, and I tell you what, it's a hell of a prize. I'm looking at the picture behind me, the Intercontinental Fiji Golf Resort and Spa. Yeah. And she looks beautiful. Beautiful, fellas. Fiji, where happiness comes naturally.

31:15Keyzie:Oh. Bula. That's how they say hello in Fiji. That is correct. The Intercontinental, it is an amazing, amazing resort. The golf course there is a championship level course that was designed by Vijay Singh. Yeah. Difficult course to play. Not for me, it won't be. Yeah, for some, for newbies. I'm going to carve that bastard up. You and I are going to have a shocker, Jase. I can already tell. But we're looking for people to come join us for a long weekend of golf, son. Beach awesomeness. G'day, Alex, you mad bastard. How's life? G'day, Bulldog fellas. How we doing? Yeah, good, thanks, mate. Good. Tell me, Alex, what do you do for a cross, mate?

31:50Oh, structural engineer. Oh, yeah, backbone. Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah.

31:53Keyzie:Do you like to have a bit of a headabout on the golf course there, Alex? Yeah, I'll give it a go. I can't say I'd be too good, but no, I've done it once or twice. Yeah, well, neither's Mogey, so you can pair with him. Yeah, man, you guys have a great time together. Yeah, let's go, Mogey. Good on you, mate. Who would you take with you, Alex? Yeah, I'd probably take my missus along, yeah. Yeah, that's cool. Oh, yeah. Your little couple's trip there. I think that would be very nice for a couple to enjoy a couple of days with the fellas and a bit of swimming.

32:20Jase:I don't think Pugs is playing golf, so he can look after your missus. He's just going to be hanging out at the pool just hammering cocktails responsibly. Yeah, good on you, Pugs. Yeah, good on you, Pugs. All right, Alex, well, you're officially in the draw, man. We'll pass you over to Pugsana, all right? Appreciate it. Cheers, fellas. Richard from Auckland, how are you going? You're good, fellas. Buller. Buller.

32:41Keyzie:What do you do for a crust, Richard? Building supplies across the country. Backbone. Another backbone. Yeah, backbone, mate. Massive backbone. So you need a bit of a break, don't you, Richard? Always, mate. Always, Joe. Yeah. Who would you take with you? Probably my brother-in-law, mate. Oh, okay. Brother-in-law.

32:58Jase:How's the connection there? How does that brother-in-law come into play? Well, I've obviously been with his sister for a wee while, so I've got to try and make up for that. That is out the gate, so you're not going to take your wife. You take her brother. 100%. How good.

33:18Keyzie:Okay. I like it, Richard. And you play a bit of golf, man? I do, yeah. It's good. What sort of handicap you're running there for any, Richard? Other than myself. No, probably late 20s. Oh, yeah. You're in our zone now. That's good stuff. Good on you, Richard. We'll chuck you in the draw, mate. Cheers, boys. Good on you, man. Good on you. This is all thanks to our great mates at Fiji Airways. They're making it possible and also Tourism Fiji as well.

33:48Jase:It's bloody huge, fellas. I can't tell you how excited I am. You know, I've been a bloody huge year for old Mogi, and it'll be the first time I go away, and I'll have my missus with me at some point. My kid will be there as well at some point. Don't worry, I'm not going to ruin the big show holiday. Don't worry about that. But I'm absolutely fizzing for this. Yeah, it's going to be good. Very, very excited. Jeez, you want to get an entry into this one. Yeah, totally, man.

34:16Keyzie:I'm just looking forward to old Mogi whipping his shirt off on the poolside there.

34:20Jase:Well, we've got to get ripped for Fiji, don't we? You know, Jase, I mean, you've let yourself go horrendously of late, man. I'm actually in not bad shape. I just don't care.

34:30Keyzie:I know, which is great. Are you going to wear like a sort of bikini top or something, Keezy? because I don't want to see those. What? Don't lose steam halfway through your shit yarn, Jase. You've got to really land it. Well, no. Do you want me to wear a bikini top because my man had him nip? Yeah, man, I'll chuck one off for you, all right? Beautiful. More chances to win across the day on Hodaki, all right? All the shows, just got to listen close and get ready to call 0800-HODAKI and you'll get in the draw. Good times. Here's Kings of Leon. The Hodarky Big Show with Jase, Mike and Kesey. Tune in weekdays at four on Radio Hodarky.

35:10Keyzie:ACDC there on the Radio Hodarky Big Show this Tuesday evening. The time is nine minutes to six o 'clock.

35:16Jase:Five, six, seven, eight. Men, men, men, men, men, men, men, men, men, men, men, men, men, men, men. Men, men, men, men, men, men, men, men. Men, men, men, men, men, men, men. One and a Half Moogies. That's how you do that. Dish, dish, dish, dish, dish. That's our best work right there. It's been a while, fellas, since we've done this. It is. That's right. One and a Half Moogies are the tales of Big Moogie. And Moogie Minogi. And Moogie Minogi. My daughter. Your daughter, who's also named Moogie. And dear. Gosh, she's growing up quick, mate. I'll tell you what. They do, Moogie. So generally what's happening, she's been going to school for just over a year now.

36:01Jase:Far out. And every single day you've got to walk in through the gate. Well, you don't get to. Well, you do. You have to. But you get to as well, don't you, Jase? Sure. It's a privilege. You go in. You carry the school bag. You carry all the other stuff. And she just sort of wanders around and sort of grabs your hand. You're holding hands. And she'll just sort of be trying to pull your arm out of its socket the whole time. Just sort of getting dragged from pillar to post, to be honest with you. The funny thing about school bags, and I'll say this. It's a little word to the wives for anybody out there thinking about having kids.

36:31Jase:Kesey, of course, you've got some big news to announce in the next couple of days. Stop. You can't keep doing that. I'm excited about that, Kesey. Don't get off topic. Can I just say, don't buy a school bag for your kid. Buy a bag for yourself because they will never carry the bags. Buy something cool that you look cool carrying because otherwise you are going to be carrying something with Powerpuff Girls on it or something like that. Hello, Kitty. Your kid will never carry the bag. You will always carry it. It's just how it is.

37:04Keyzie:So has little Mogi Minogi got like a camo kind of?

37:08Jase:Yeah, that's right. Yeah, that's what I went with in the end was a, yeah, sort of a bit of a leather number to be honest with you. It's pretty cool. Like a hunting bag? Yeah, it's like a hunting bag. It's got a compass on it. Wow. A big hunting knife and it turns into a tent. Wow. How good. So anyway, you have to carry that in there, and it's got her book bag in there and her change of clothes. Pencil case? Is that sort of thing? No, they sort of leave that at school. Right, okay. And then they have their lunchbox, a sneaky snack, they call it, a little morning tea treat there, a bottle of water, et cetera.

37:42Jase:You go in, you put some of the bag on the hook, you take the rest of her stuff into the room, and you put everything where it's meant to go, and then you go out and you sort of hang out in the playground for a while where she has a play and then you finally manage to extricate yourself and make your way out of the school grounds and get on with your day. Well, this week I said to my daughter, or it was the middle of last week, I said, because I had a meeting, I said, look, I'm going to have to get out of here pretty quick today. Is it okay if I leave you at the gate and you can make your own way into the classroom?

38:13Jase:And she said, yes! Oh, wow. So she had been like plucking up the shirt. She was absolutely fizzing. Frothing for it. So it's sort of been running through my mind as I saw other children going into the school by themselves. I was thinking, how long am I doing this for? Because it seems like other kids that are younger are... Yeah. But from her point of view, she was doing it for me. She's like, oh, I've got to walk Dad into the class. Oh, I've got to walk Dad in. He's got to make sure that everything's all good. God, he worries about me. He's a bit of a sad sack, isn't he? He worries about how he looks with my Powerpuff Girls bag, so he's bought me the hunting bag.

38:47Jase:So she's absolutely... And now she doesn't want me to go into school with her. So previously I was a little bit, oh, you know, I wonder when she's going to grow up. But now she has grown up. Yeah. And she doesn't want me anywhere near her. To the point where initially I would take her out of the car, get her out of the car, and walk her just inside the gate. And then on the way to school yesterday she said, can you not do that? Can I just hug you in the car? Yeah. And I'll just get out without you getting out. Which sort of reeks of her being embarrassed of me. She's six. Jase, didn't your girls used to ask you to park around the corner?

39:22Keyzie:And your wife does that. I actually reached a point where they didn't even want me to drive them to school. Right. They said, can their friend's dad take them? Really? Yeah, yeah. What was so embarrassing about having you driving them to school? Was it just a dad thing? Yeah, I don't know. He was a pretty cool cat. Like Mogi, I bought a bag that suited me as opposed to them, which was a camo one, very similar. And I used to wear that sort of dark stuff under my eyes like I was going into the bush. Camouflage. Camouflage and stuff. And I'd walk into the school going, do-do-do-do-sh, do-do-do-do-sh.

40:00Keyzie:And it apparently freaked the kids out and embarrassed my girls. Did the school ever go into lockdown? Oh, they did at one point, yeah. Yeah. But it's important, though. That at least sounds cool, way cooler than having a pink bag on. Yeah, you'd think so, wouldn't you? Yeah. Yeah. Hey, coming up after six, what's on the dinner with me, Keezy? Oh, it's a back. It's back, baby. So let us know on 3483 what you're having for tea tonight. Yeah, and you can win a$50 Reburger voucher. How good.

40:33The Hauraki Big Show with Jase, Mike and Keezy. Tune in weekdays at four on Radio Hauraki.

40:39Keyzie:Welcome back, you massive backbones. Jeez, I hope your Tuesday is just how you want it to be at this moment in time. You're listening to the Big Show brought to you by Reeburger. Handcrafted burgers, loaded fries and gourmet eats that'll change the game. I'm not going to ask you this, Moggy, because you don't know. But speaking of what's on the dinner, what's on the dinner for old Keezy? Ah. Because, you know, Keezy and I need to know these things, Moggy. I need a picture of what I'm eating when I get home. I like to picture it while I'm doing the show. Yeah, yeah, yeah. You know what I mean? Tonight, my wife is away.

41:14She's out of town for work. She's in Putaruru for her work overnight. Yeah. So I've got a bachelor night. Nice.

41:22Keyzie:So ham and pineapple frozen pizza? Frozen pizza? McCain? No. Yeah. No, I don't know. I am vibing a pizza tonight, though. I'll probably get a giant pizza that's too big for me to eat by myself and then plonk it down in front of the telly and then just sit there for like six hours. On the carpet. On a table. We've got a coffee table. And it'll be one of those scenarios where it's way too much for you, but you eat it all anyway.

41:47Jase:Or you save some. You put one piece on the pillow where your beloved's head would normally lie. And in the middle of the night, you roll over. Because I do that most nights anyway. Filthy bastard. You're a sicko. You guys just made that yarn up and then called me a filthy bastard. What are you having tonight, Jase?

42:07Keyzie:We're having chicken enchiladas! Oh, dear. That is probably the most racist thing that's ever been broadcast on national radio. Racism alert. Racism alert. Hey, what's on the dinner for you, New Zealand? Text us 3483 and let us know. You can win yourself a$50 Reburger voucher. You could. Who's this? The Cure, man. The Hauraki Big Show. Weekdays from four on Radio Hauraki. Aerosmith there on the Radio Hauraki Big Show this Tuesday evening, but right now it's time for... Oh, yeah, hey, guys. Text here from Steve. What's on the dinner? With me, Katie. That's right. It's a segment where you text in what you are having for dinner tonight.

42:52Chicken enchilada. Jase.

42:59In what world is that okay?

43:01Jase:That is... What's that? Racist. Racist, yeah, yeah, yeah. I feel like you're pushing the boundaries more and more until you get in trouble. I can't wait to see you burn, man.

43:12Keyzie:I'm just telling you what I'm having for dinner. I know. It's the extra spice you're putting on. Yeah. Because I'm excited, man. Totally. This is a segment where you text in what you're having for dinner on 3483. We read it out, and you can get a$50 Reburger voucher. Someone here saying, what on earth would Keezy's wife be doing for work and potata do tonight? There are no businesses there. A fear? Question mark. Oh, a fear, yeah. Tell you what, if she's having an affair with someone at Potardou, all good, man. It's a lot of effort. It's ages away. Fill your boots, as they say. You're the only one that says that.

43:48You say it a lot. G'day, fellas. Oh. Andrew here.

43:52Jase:Wow. Prince. Andrew Prince. Who the hell is Andrew Prince? Come on, Jase. making some Asian style chicken skewers off of social media using mints but it has no backbone so I cooked it as a patty instead sliced it and skewed it and then fried the other two sides it tastes grouse yeah man and that's from Andrew Prince

44:14Keyzie:nice do you guys get much of your food off social media I think my wife some food hacks or like motivation inspiration my wife gets quite a lot of that oh we should make it's quite good actually because she's the one that enjoys the cooking and I do all the cleaning. Do you think you could ask her to send my wife some of the recipes she's got? No, because then you'll make them and then come on the radio and diss them and say my wife has bad recipes. G'day, guys. Adam here. Oh, wow. Sandler. Ant. Adam Ant. The cartoon. Can't be asked, so the missus and I are going to have frozen pizzas. We'll probably heat them up, though.

44:56It's all Casey and his missus. I wish, man. My wife hates frozen pizza.

45:00Keyzie:I tell you what, I'll often buy, if I'm doing a bachelor night, a frozen pizza and add my own little extras. Oh, go on. Like your anchovies, your olives, your semi-tomatoes. Semi-dried or just semi? What about some rocket? No, Mogi. Be serious, please. G'day, fellas. Daryl here. Hell again?

45:23Jase:Oh, my God, Mitchell. I've got to stop saying Daryl. Whenever I can't think of it or no one sent through a name, I'll just say Daryl.

45:32Keyzie:You're just making up the names, Keezy. No, no, no, just for the ones where people don't send through who's on it. Mushroom risotto out of a thermos, watching the young fella at rep rugby training in the mighty Horowhenua Kapiti.

45:44Jase:Oh, I like the sound of that. You should narrow it down. Whereabouts in the mighty Horowhenua Kapiti? I figure that's actually quite specific for me. Well, yeah, I want more because I'm from Horowhenua Kapiti, so I want to know where. Hang on, fellas. You know, I'll be nosy.

45:58Keyzie:Well, I think we're missing their point here.

46:00Jase:Yeah.

46:01Keyzie:Mushroom risotto out of a thermos. Yeah, watching his young fella.

46:04Jase:I mean, don't worry. If they're from Horafenua Kapiti, they're probably a crackhead, so they're making it up. Wow, crackheads. The Hauraki Big Show with Jace, Mike and Keezy. Tune in weekdays at four on Radio Hauraki.

46:18Keyzie:Collective soul there on the Radio Hauraki Big Show this Tuesday evening. Now, we've got some great competitions running at the moment. fellas. But I think this is certainly right up there with our mates at Trade Tested. If you've got an outdoor area, which I have, except my outdoor area is falling apart, but if it's not falling apart and you want some new furniture maybe, some Barbie kind of action, you need to get in touch with the fellas at Trade Tested, eh? You certainly do, Jase. Tradetested.co.nz. Would you say this comp is right up your alley? It's right up my alley. It's right up there.

46:52What, big deck energy? Big, big deck energy right up my alley. That's the name of the competition. The way it works is every single Friday in September, we will, with our mates from Trade Tested, be giving away a$2 ,500 package of free stuff from tradetested.co.nz. Go to their website, have a look, start making an online shopping list, you know, like a fill your basket. Yes. Get it to add up as close as you can to$2 ,500. And then once you've done that, head to hodaki.co.nz to the winning page. Get yourself in the drawer. Yeah. We'll be doing this every Friday through September, plenty of chances.

47:26Keyzie:That's amazing. And what I do remember from this competition, and we talked about it yesterday, was some people were meticulous with the old budgeting front. Like within a couple of dollars of$2 ,500.

47:40Jase:Absolutely. If I remember correctly, there was a lady that sort of came within a couple of cents. Yes. Absolutely nailed it. Absolutely smashed it out of the park. So get involved in that. How good is that coming into, you know, summer, and you're all sorted, boys? I've got a feeling your wife would be really good at that, Kesey.

47:56Keyzie:And I say that in a positive and affirming way. She'd be like this douche, douche, douche, douche. Whereas I don't know that my wife would be very good at that. Oh, no, she'd go over by about eight grand. Would she? Far out. Maybe not eight grand. I'm actually jealous because obviously summer's coming up, which is like prime deck time. And I don't have a deck. Yeah. Well, you were going to do one, but your dad got – No. What happened with your dad and he couldn't make it?

48:27Jase:But on the bright side, you know, I mean, I've got a deck at home, but I don't have a dad. So, you know, what are you moaning about?

48:37Tradetested.co.nz. Fill up your basket there,$2 ,500. Then head to hodaki.co.nz. Get yourself in the drawer. That's all thanks to Tradetested. The Hodaki Big Show with Jace, Mike, and Kesey. Tune in weekdays at 4 on Radio Hodaki.

48:50Keyzie:Billy Idol there on the radio. Hauraki, big show this Tuesday evening. And fellas, I don't know if you've noticed in the studio, there's a lot of bush about. Oh, my God.

49:01Jase:There's been a real transformation in here, hasn't there? There has. I don't know if we addressed that a couple of weeks ago, but we came in and the breakfast had completely cleared out everything in here. Yeah, because there's a lot of shit in here. There's like a lot of old props and funny stuff and blah, blah. There was a shelf. There was Encyclopedia Britannica. There was a whole bunch of books. Yeah, just crap. All Jace's old glasses and mugs and stuff. Yeah, leaves out every day, yeah. And like Nicorette. And just some stubbed out siggings on his computer screen. And like vape canisters.

49:35Jase:Yeah, that's right. And so it was really barren, which was great. I was loving it. Completely empty. But now we've come in today, Keezy, and there's been a bit of a change. Yeah, there's bushes everywhere and little pot plants and things. And I know that the Brekkie Boys, they got a Feng Shui expert on a few weeks ago, and they've really taken what he said to heart. Yeah. And they've got a new curtain somehow, which they're planning on putting up. They've brought plants in. Jase, how do you feel about it? I hate it. Yeah. Why?

50:02Keyzie:Because I liked all the filth.

50:05Jase:Yeah.

50:05Keyzie:You know what I mean? I find it very barren and kind of clinical now, and I don't like that. I like a bit of stuff hanging about. I like it to be more homely. Right. Well, the pot plants are good. Well, I don't mind a bit of bush. Yeah. Yeah. But I liked all the crap.

50:24Jase:But they're a weed, aren't they? That's the trouble. You've got a couple of plants in front of us here for the outdoors. They're very heavy-duty. They're a chive. They're a tussock. You've got a couple of, yeah. Yeah, that's an outdoor plant. It is a weed. And then you've got this other bugger over here. It's sort of a long green-leaf thing. Is it real? It is real. It's a wernicke or similar. Again, it's another weed. Yes. It's toxic, highly toxic. And then that one over there is a rubber plant, that one. That's old G. That's the old ficus elastica. That's a classic. They call that one.

50:56Keyzie:We better watch out for that one, fellas, and make sure that old Pugson doesn't get his mitts on it. Oh, because it's a rubber plant. Pugs likes Connie's. That's right.

51:07Jase:So I was wondering if we should send breakfast a message and I've just got a couple of questions. Because it's our studio too, right? Thank you. Yeah, let's do it.

51:23Keyzie:Incoming transmission from the big show. Yeah, g'day, fellas. It's the big show here, and we've just been discussing the changes made within the studio, haven't we, fellas?

51:34Jase:Yeah, I mean, a lot of plants here, fellas, a lot of plants. I mean, you got rid of all of the other stuff which I liked, you know, all my nice sort of old dirty glasses and saucers. and all cigarette butts and stuff and crunchy bar wrappers and empty chip packets and like lamington wrappers. And cookie crumbs. And pie bags and that sort of stuff.

51:55Keyzie:Loaded wedges and all that sort of stuff.

51:59Jase:Which was great because there's nothing in here. There's no personality whatsoever. But now you've brought in all these plants and I'm not for it. This is our studio too and you didn't consider us at all or bring us into the decision-making process at all. Yeah, right. So you're upset with them?

52:14Keyzie:I mean, if I wanted bush, I'd get my own. You know what I mean? And I've got plenty of vegetation which I could have brought in from my house. Nobody wants your pubes. Oh, you meant... Yeah, yeah. Plants. And actually, Mogi just went on his plant app there, and we realised that most of the plants within this studio are actually weeds. Yes. And highly toxic.

52:35Jase:Who's watering them? And I'll be honest with you, what it feels like is, this has been an exercise where somebody has just got rid of an excess of plants from their home. It feels like Wells has got too many plants. It feels Wells territory. There's also a little statue over in the corner, a grey statue with a couple of bullaws on it. I didn't even notice that. That absolutely reeks of a Wells little statue there. It's probably worth 80k, but he's just got no space for it. It's ostentatious as well. It is ostentatious. So anyway, fellas, just get rid of it. Bye tomorrow.

53:06Keyzie:Cheers. Cool. Next thing we know, there'll be a bloody waterfall in here, fellas. Indeed. The Hauraki Big Show with Jase, Mike and Keezy. Tune in weekdays at four on Radio Hauraki.

53:26Keyzie:Well, there you go, you mad bastards. That's the end of The Big Show today. Now, if you can't get enough of The Big Show, then you should check out the podcast outro, which is bonus material outside the radio show, isn't it, Fiel? We love it. It certainly is, Jase. We warm up every day with a bit of a chit-chat. Also, if you've tuned in now and you've missed the entire show, you want to catch up, Pugs also uploads a highlights package of every single show, every single evening at 7.30pm. Just search Hoducky Big Show where you get your potties from. Here's a clip of today's outro, though, entitled Golf Mood.

54:00Keyzie:I've got a new philosophy in my golfing because Keezy told me off for being shitty. I actually had a word with him. I said he's not allowed to F and Jeff around Fiji. So I've taken that on board and I'm still waters on the course now. Yeah, right. Nothing flusters him. Underneath just a seething, raging volcano.

54:19Jase:No. Yes. No. Yes. You can't deny thy true self, Jase. Well, I can, but then it just bursts out my ears. The problem is if you get angry, you play worse. You play better when you're chill. Yeah. But Jase likes to get really angry first. then say, oh, I'm not even counting this round, and then he's chill, and then he plays better. Yeah, right. So we just have to sort that out. Yeah. Well, I think he's worried that you're going to criticise him, Keezy, when he does a bad stroke. Doubt it. And so he criticises himself. Oh, so it's my fault? No. Oh, your fault? Just think it's something going on with Jase over there.

54:55Jase, you wouldn't think that. I would never criticise you, man. Only on here. Oh, yeah. I'm paid to.

55:02Keyzie:It's interesting, actually, because it's going to be very quiet on the golf course now because Keezy doesn't do that. When he's fuming, he just goes silent.

55:10Jase:I go quiet. Well, I've been there when he's been effing and jeffing.

55:13Keyzie:Yeah, that was against breakfast. That was a competition. Shocking. Actually, you do effing Jeff a bit on the course, to be fair. But you effing. Okay, we can't get into it now. We can't get into it now. Now, listen, make sure you check out the podcasts and also check out the Instagram account because there's heaps going on. You guys are pros, man. I tell you what. I tell you. And I think on the Instagram front, Old Puck Sun has just released a new video, so check it out. Yeah, check it out. It's good stuff, man. Till tomorrow. See you later. Bye. Bye.