FULL SHOW: The Pigeon's Last Chance

9:47Keyzie:And, you know, the tunes are playing in my eardrums.

9:58Keyzie:And I'm thinking, you know, and I'm looking and I'm just taking in the world. And so I've had this idea, right, and I think it's going to go off. I think it's going to go viral. I've come for a walk with Hoity J and I've got some really fat tune going on. Right. In the video. Okay. And it's just me strolling through various parts of the CBD with a tune banging in the background. So it's you walking in town. It's just come for a walk with Hoodie J, and it's literally just me walking through town.

10:29Mike Minogue:And you think that's going to go viral.

10:30Keyzie:I reckon it's going to go off. You know how people see something and they go, oh, Hoodie J's done this thing. I reckon we should do it at our work, you know, sort of thing. Because we do that too.

10:39Mike Minogue:Oh, you want to start a trend. I want to start a trend. Where people film each other walking. Now, I'm thinking, and you can give me advice on this

10:49Keyzie:because I'm technically not very good at it, I don't know if you know that about me, of getting a selfie stick. Yeah, man, absolutely.

10:55Mike Minogue:What's a selfie stick?

10:56Keyzie:Well, you know, I presume it's like a stick thing that you shove your phone on the end of, so then you're walking along looking really cool and, you know, hip. And you can film yourself. And you can film yourself or, you know, have it out in front of me. So I could be having my skull candies on. The tune's douche, douche, douche, douche, douche. I'm walking through town just taking shots of everything with the tune in the background.

11:21Mike Minogue:Yeah, right. There's a couple of options there as well. There's a selfie stick, but then you've got to hold it. Yeah. Right? Yes. But there's also a new addition, and that is a belt which you stick the selfie stick into. Yes, I've seen that. Sort of like a fishing pole. Oh, yeah. On a boat, you know how they have the pole holder. Yes, I do, yeah. So that frees your hands up and you're then able to sort of wander around. The other thing that's come out recently, of course, is the sicko goggles. And those are those sort of, what are they, Google glasses, I think they're called, where they're constantly recording people without their knowledge or consent.

11:55That would suit you down to the ground.

11:57Keyzie:Yeah, the only thing is, I don't really wear my glasses in the city. But look, this is the thing. I'm open to all technology. I just worry that the one in my groin, yeah, that one, be very low to the ground. Well, I mean, it doesn't matter. It could be on your forehead. It's still going to be very low to the ground. Well, that's what I mean. I'm not a big unit, so I might be just a shot of all these people's kneecaps.

12:22Mike Minogue:Are you worried about getting smacked over, walking around town with a selfie stick vibing?

12:27Keyzie:Kese, you've known me for a long time, and I'm pretty sure one of the things you know about me is I know how to look after myself, all right?

12:37Mike Minogue:Yeah, man, you really look, you take care of yourself. He takes care of number one.

12:40Keyzie:But what do you think? I mean, I'll get a selfie stick. Right. I'll put tunes on my walks. Okay. I'll walk with Hoody J and they're fat beats too. Don't worry about that.

12:49Mike Minogue:Who's editing it?

12:50Keyzie:I'll edit it. Right. I'm not even going to edit it. I'll just play it from beginning to end and that'll be the end of it. So if you just chuck it up on Instagram? Yeah. It'll be like three hours long. Yeah, well, I don't think three hours, maybe 2.30. You know what I mean? And people would be like, I could see people sitting in their lounges, you know, just sitting, getting mesmerised and going, yeah, this is cool. It's kind of like the Odyssey, isn't it? It's kind of that kind of length anyway if you're talking two and a half hours. And there is a certain amount of jeopardy because once you get down to the waterfront, there's every chance that a seagull will pick you up and take you out over the ocean.

13:26Mike Minogue:The Hauraki Big Show, weekdays from four on Radio Hauraki. Yes, indeed.

13:31Keyzie:Wazel, cars.

13:32Mike Minogue:Yeah.

13:33Keyzie:Hey? Fellas? Fellas I tell you what I thought it was just going to be all NRL this competition But there's been quite a few backbones out there That are going Bathurst The old petrol heads People love their cars, Woody Joe They do You know, they have a real love affair with them Yeah I've never got it myself No You know what I mean? I just What do you love?

13:56Mike Minogue:Hot Pot Yeah Imagine there was like a special event in Australia On Hot Pot Mountain where all of the hot pot enthusiasts gather to watch the best hot potters in the world go around Mount Panerata. And some people cheer for a spicy hot pot and other people cheer for a pretty mild creamy. Green pepper. Or a green pepper, you know what I mean?

14:13Keyzie:I'll tell you another passion I've got. Candles.

14:17Mike Minogue:Well, like scented candles. Yeah, yeah. Cool, so imagine all the biggest candle enthusiasts in the world gather in Australia. I'd be there.

14:26Keyzie:But it's not that. It's NRL Grand Final and or Bathurst. Let's go to the phone lines. G'day, Aaron, you mad bastard. How's life? Excellent, excellent at the moment. Yeah, good on you, mate. Tell me, Aaron, what do you do for a crust? I just look after my old man, actually. Oh, you're a backbone, mate. Backbone. I hope you're on 200 grand a year.

14:48Mike Minogue:Hey, Aaron, which one are you choosing, mate? Grand final or Bathurst? In our grand final.

14:55Keyzie:Yeah, totally, man, totally.

14:57Mike Minogue:Are you a Warriors fan, Aaron? Yeah.

15:00Keyzie:And who would you take with you? Were you lucky enough to win?

15:04Mike Minogue:Probably my brother, actually. He's a Panthers fan. Oh, is he? That'd be a good game. What a son of a bee. Hey, Aaron, you're in the draw, mate. You hold the line, all right? Pug's on a look after you.

15:13Keyzie:Back, mate.

15:14Mike Minogue:Okay, good as golf.

15:15Keyzie:Good on you, mate. G'day, Duncan, you mad bastard. How's life? Oh, good, mate. How are you? Yeah, good, thanks, mate. Good. How's your Tuesday going?

15:24Mike Minogue:Tuesday's good. It's been a bit sunny in the old welly. Oh, is it? It's actually that often. You've got to enjoy it. Oh, you've got to get out, man.

15:31Keyzie:I tell you what, in Auckland at the moment, she's blowing a bloody gale. Absolute gale.

15:37Mike Minogue:Fire-ass good stuff, fellas. Hey, just before, hang on, Keezy, man. What's up, man? Just before you move off the weather chat, Duncan, have the Norwesters started yet, man? You'd normally get those in your spring. Oh, yeah, no, no, we switched this morning from a southerly to a northerly. How good. It's a good time to be a light. Southerly gale to a northerly gale.

15:57Keyzie:Oh, yes. So what would be your choice there, Dunk? NRL or Bathurst?

16:03Mike Minogue:I'll go with a hot pot, actually. I've got to go with a hot pot. You wish. No, no, I'll go to NRL. Yeah, cool. And Dunk, just before we let you go, what do you do for a crust, man? I'm a beer transfer technician. Oh, yeah. You take the beer out of the counter and put it in your mouth. Yeah, yeah. Backbone. Get on you, Dunk. You hold the line and old Pugson will look after you, all right? How good. Cheers, man. Get on you, Fiona. That's a big shout out to boyschip.co.nz who will be organising either package depending on what you win and just an announcement that the NRL grand final package is officially sold out.

16:36Mike Minogue:Wow! As I'm surprised. I'm not surprised that it's sold out but I'm surprised it took this long to be honest. Yeah, I think people are sort of like you're hedging your bets because in all honesty I mean I know a lot of people have gone over to the grand final I'm not sure how pumped I'd be to watch two teams that have knocked out the Warriors compete for a title that the Warriors can't get. You know? you know yeah well certainly for a Waz fan yes potentially another chance to get yourself in the draw for this competition later on the show listen for the key to call and then call 0800 Hauraki

17:05Keyzie:yeah bloody good in the meantime oh yeah

17:07Mike Minogue:bit of push push The Hauraki Big Show weekdays from 4 on Radio Hauraki

17:13Keyzie:Foo Fighters there on the Hauraki Big Show this Tuesday afternoon the time is 4.47 let's talk TV What's on the telly with Mike Minogue

17:28Yeah! Woo! On Friday night, you two spoke about this, Keezy, yesterday, same time on the show. I went and saw Cirque Alice. So it's Cirque du Soleil. It's acrobats. It's a type of circus, but it's with acrobats, no animals. It was on at the Civic Theatre here in Auckland. I think it's on for the next couple of weeks. It's the story of Alice in Wonderland, isn't it, Keezy?

17:50Mike Minogue:Yeah. Now, Alice comes out and, you know, look, it's not word for word, let me put it that way. But there's lots of classical music, very recognisable classical music that anybody in the street would have heard. And the person that plays Alice is sort of a classically trained operatic singer. Right. Absolutely amazing. Brilliant. And then the story gets told and you've got various trapeze artists doing all sorts of different things, which, as you said, Keezy, make you more and more anxious as the show goes on. Incredible skill. I found it really, I found it absolutely amazing and life-affirming, and I think it's the sort of thing that absolutely everybody should go and see.

18:32It's amazing that people can do any of this stuff at all. They have a clown in there that comes along as well, who's the Mad Hatter, is his character, and he sort of breaks it up, gets people out of the audience, that sort of stuff. The tickets, I looked them up, they weren't super, like normally you see Cirque du Soleil, it's$180 or something insane like that. This is like, I saw tickets for$60. Yes. And I don't think there's really a bad seat in the house. If you can get along to it, absolutely get along to it. Keeser, you gave it$4.2. I couldn't ask for more out of a show than the level of entertainment I got.

19:01That's a five-bussy show for me. Wow. Get along tickets on sale in Auckland, and I don't think they're going anywhere else, so you're out of luck.

19:08Keyzie:Good stuff, mate. Well, on your recommendation, Mogie, I watched a film on Netflix, The Whisper Man. Yeah. Starring Robert De Niro, Adam Scott and Monat. Bridger Moynihan. Moynihan, yes. Here's the story outline. And Michael Keaton. And Michael Keaton, yes. When his eight-year-old son is abducted, a widowed crime writer looks to his estranged father, a retired police detective, for help. He soon discovers a connection to the decades-old case of a convicted serial killer known as the Whisper Man. Now look. It was a very solid film, is how I would describe it. Nothing particularly amazing about it.

19:53Keyzie:And also, I think there's something wrong. Movies that are really dark on my TV, I can't see crap. You know what I mean? We've tried to lighten it. It's just, and there was a lot of dark, moody interior stuff. I know how you feel. What's happening? It annoys me. And I'll tell you what else was very curious. Robert De Niro who I'm a huge fan of or have been have been a very paint by numbers performance from him yeah very muted I kind of felt yeah I just got the vibe from him that he was just it was just another film and he was just going through the motions I sort of feel like with him that it's probably for the last 15 years or so he keeps himself very active there's a lot of acting he's not selective no I'm not saying that he should have been with this one, but he turns out a lot of work, and I think he's probably a bit worried about the end of his life.

20:47Maybe, maybe. You know, coming in the tunnel towards him.

20:50Keyzie:It was the first time I've ever watched De Niro and gone, ah, not the best performance you've ever given. Right. It's very kind of paint by numbers almost. Yeah, because he was great in Meet the Fockers. He was, actually. I love that film. Oh, my God, very good. But look, as I say, a pretty good watch, a solid watch. I'll give it three buzies.

21:09Mike Minogue:There you go. The Whisper Man. The Whisper Man Netflix. Directed by New Zealanders James Ashcroft. Last night I watched the second to last episode of the first season of Outrageous Fortune. Ooh. TVNZ Plus. This episode a certain lawyer named Corky has got a pee addiction. Played very well by Hoony J. Very convincingly. Thanks mate. Really great performance. Thank you. Genuinely. I was like oh my god he's crazy. Right. And then there was a moment where Anthony Starr who's now an international superstar thanks to the boys He plays Homelander. He grabs you and throws you over the desk. Yes. Now, I remember you telling a story about that.

21:43Keyzie:What happened after that? I think Anthony injured his hand in there. And he hurt himself. Yeah, yeah, because we actually did that stunt. And I can remember at the time thinking, jeez, this is a bit full on. Yeah. Because he was committed to it, and I was, you know, a pee addict looking for my stuff. Yeah. So we were both kind of, whoa! Yeah. You both had your motivations. Yeah, we both had motivation.

22:07Mike Minogue:Because he plays two characters, Jethro and Van, who are twins. And Jethro, you know, you have a go at Jethro, and then he, like, punches you in the face or something and throws you over to the... And then Van comes and starts kicking the shit out of old hoity Jay. Yeah. Are you in more of Outrageous Fortune?

22:22Keyzie:Oh, I can't recall. You kidding?

22:26Mike Minogue:It's only one of the greatest shows in New Zealand history.

22:29Keyzie:I think maybe I get arrested or something.

22:32Mike Minogue:Okay, but... Maybe.

22:33Keyzie:I can't remember. It's a surprise. Not because Jace wants it to be a surprise, but because he can't remember. Pretty much.

22:38Mike Minogue:Because the thing I've noticed in that show is the side characters will get introduced and then they'll be woven back into the story again.

22:44Keyzie:Yes, I am still in the series. Okay, great. Because I think I come back in maybe season three.

22:51Mike Minogue:Okay, great to know. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Very, very, very, very good. If you haven't seen it before, please go watch it. Yeah, man. Where can I see that, Keezy? TVNZ Plus, man. Okay, thanks, mate. So great.

22:59Keyzie:In the meantime, he's talking heads.

23:03Mike Minogue:The Horaki Big Show with Jace, Mike and Keezy. Tune in weekdays at four on Radio Hodaki.

23:09Keyzie:Welcome back, you massive backbones. Hope you're getting through your Tuesday okay. You're listening to The Big Show, by the way, brought to you by Reburger.

23:16Mike Minogue:Crave-worthy street food, freshly made with Reburger. Scrum-diddly-optious.

23:22Keyzie:I just had a curious thought, fellas, before we started this voice break, and it was, I wonder how many voice breaks I've done in my life. A voice break being where you chat between songs. You know, where you do your job, basically. Well, sadly, the last person that would know the answer to that is you. Exactly, Maggie. As we just found out earlier on with Keezy talking about outrageous fortune and then asking you whether you knew if you were in any episodes past the conclusion of season one, you don't know. Yeah, no, then I remembered season three, Keezy. Well, you guessed. We'll find out. Lock and load, mate.

23:57Keyzie:How many episodes of Broken Wood have you been in? Well, I wouldn't have a clue, man.

24:00Mike Minogue:Okay, so how are you supposed to know how many voice breaks you've done?

24:04Keyzie:Well, this is what I mean. I mean, you could go by numbers. Yeah, that's the way you normally get. Sort of 17 in a day and five days a week, 50 years. You know what I mean? I thought you were 39. I reckon it's like this could be my millionth voice break.

24:23Mike Minogue:Could be. I've just typed in and done the maths. Yes. 47.

24:29Keyzie:God, is that all? Yeah. God, it feels a lot more than that. I know. You sure it's not 39? It feels like more than that. A lot more than 39, Jase. Hey, anyway. It feels more like mid-50s to me. Yeah, like mid-50s. Yeah, right. I know it wouldn't be that much. It's just what it feels like. Now, coming up. We check he's his racing pigeon. Yeah. It's not good.

24:54Mike Minogue:No, it's not. We've got to do something about this, fellas.

24:56Keyzie:Yes, I'll go.

24:57Mike Minogue:The Hauraki Big Show. Weekdays from four on Radio Hauraki.

25:01Keyzie:Queens of the Stone Age on the Radio Hauraki Big Show this Tuesday afternoon. The time, 14 minutes past five o 'clock. Now, many of our listeners will be aware that old Keezy spent a fair amount of coin on a racing pigeon. And I think it's fair to say, fellas, it's been an unmitigated disaster. Keezy on all wings looking over his beak with me.

25:26Mike Minogue:Keezy. That's right, Keezy on all wings, looking over his beak with me, Keezy. It's the name of the stupid pigeon. As chosen by the Hauraki audience. Yeah, man. Still hate that name. I love it. So this pigeon has done five races, fellas. Basically what happened is there's a bloke down in Timaru there. He runs a bar called Hector Blacks. They have got the Oamaru Bird Club on board, and they do a spring series of pigeon races. Yeah. So we've had five races so far. The first race, Ashburton Tuamaru, 150 kilometers. My pigeon came 93rd out of a possible 115. So right at the back of the pack, not good.

26:08Mike Minogue:Next race, Christchurch Tuamaru, 73rd. Getting better, still shithouse. Next race, Cheviot Tuamaru, 38th. Improving. How far was that one? That was 220 kilometres. That's a long way. That's a long way. Especially if you're going in 38. It's a waste of time.

26:32Keyzie:100%. You just want to go, why am I doing this? Mid-air.

26:36Mike Minogue:Kaikoura to Oamaru, 380 kilometres, 31st. So improved again.

26:43Keyzie:Long distance, obviously. Mad bastard.

26:46Mike Minogue:Over the weekend, it was back to the Ashburton to Oamaru, the short distance race where it originally came 93rd the first time around. Fellas, the reason I haven't brought it up is because I'm not bringing this to the table. I'm not giving it to you and the listeners unless it does something good. And I'm actually getting to the point now where it's actually embarrassing to have this pigeon sort of related to the Big Show.

27:06Keyzie:It's like an albatross around your neck, if I can put it that way, Keezy. Can I just say that in terms of content for the Big Show, the results are good. Why's that? Well, because the bird is failing miserably and you've heavily invested in its success. So for that, it's the perfect concoction of you've got high hopes and then the delivery of the thing that you've got faith in, like Hoity J giving up the smoking, has let you down. So Keezy's sad. Ratings go up. People love it. It's our bread and butter Keezy.

27:37Mike Minogue:Keezy's sad equals ratings up. That's right. And so I think the only mistake we're making here is not talking about it every single week. Now, if this bird was coming first, we were making lots of money. people would change the channel. Yeah. Really? Because I think that they'd be kind of stoked. No. No, no, no. They'd be fuming. We would have, like, if it had won every race, we'd have five grand right now. You would have five grand, and they wouldn't stand for that.

27:59Keyzie:And your initial investment, you know, I know it's sort of loose change for you, but a grand is not, you know, it's not insignificant.

28:06Mike Minogue:Was it a thousand bucks? Yeah. It's not cheap, is it?

28:09Keyzie:No, and I mean, especially when you're getting results like that. Like, if you had invested that money in this, you know, in the stock exchange, for example, That's like a collapse.

28:20Mike Minogue:Yeah, right. Whereas this pigeon who sucks ass is a way better investment. No, this is what I mean. It's the same thing. Yeah, but it's a better investment in our content. Very much so. You know what I'm saying? Because it's drawn out over such a long period. Week after week after week of failure. Then high hopes. Then failure. Then high hopes. Then failure. And so on and so on and so on. Sounds like the whars. Now, Jase, they're literally top of the table right now. Are you serious? Come on, man. The thing that happens every week is the bloke that's running at Pigeon Tim, the guy who sold me the pigeon, he releases a video of him reading out the top 15 results.

28:57Keyzie:Right.

28:57Mike Minogue:15th place gets$100. And so on.

29:00Keyzie:Are you poised?

29:01Mike Minogue:Yes.

29:02Keyzie:Yeah.

29:02Mike Minogue:And he goes from 15 down to 1. The same birds are mentioned every single week. Yeah. And never is my bird mentioned. So I'm at the point now where I'm actually like, hey, what are we going to do here? Because it's got another race this weekend. What if it loses again? I'm at the point, I'm open to suggestions 3483. If the pigeon loses this weekend, what are we doing with it? Well, I sort of feel like you've invested in the pigeon, Keezy. You've got to stick with it. You know, this pigeon has been named after you. This pigeon is part of your family. I hate to say it, but it's part of the Big Show family.

29:35You know, Keezy on all wings looking over its beak with me, Keezy. What are you going to do? You're going to back paddock it?

29:42Mike Minogue:No, well, that's up to the audience. 3483. every text in the draw for a$50 Reebok voucher. If it doesn't get on the podium this week in the top 10, I want suggestions of what we do with the pigeon. All right? And to be honest, I want to chat to Pigeon Tim again. I haven't chatted to him in a month. Yeah. I've got a vibe that Pigeon Tim is running a not insubstantial Ponzi scheme here and our friend Kesey has been a victim of it.

30:02Keyzie:Well, I'm really looking forward to you just letting loose on Pigeon Tim, actually. Well, no, not yet. Giving it to him. Just saying, what are you doing here, mate?

30:09Mike Minogue:I'm not going to let loose on him on the radio. Well, I think you should.

30:12Keyzie:I'd be fuming.

30:14Mike Minogue:Weezer?

30:15Keyzie:Yeah, okay.

30:17Mike Minogue:The Hauraki Big Show with Jace, Mike and Keezy. Tune in weekdays at four on Radio Hauraki.

30:23Keyzie:Gorillaz there on the Radio Hauraki Big Show this Tuesday afternoon. The time is 5.27. We're talking Keezy's racing pigeon. And if you just tuned in, old Keezy on all wings looking over his beak with me. Keezy, the name of the pigeon, has not been performing well. And Keezy is absolutely fuming. Keezy on all wings looking over his beak with me, Keezy. I am anticipating massive fireworks in the next minute or two because we've got pigeon Tim who runs the whole operation on the phone. G'day, Tim, you mad bastard. How's life? G'day, fellas. How are you going today? Yeah, good, thanks, mate. Good, good, good.

31:15Keyzie:Keezy, not so much. Hey, Tim. I understand you're not happy. Hey, settle down, fellas. Settle down. This is only... Hey, remember we had a sprint race this last week. Your bird had been doing better over distance. So settle down. We've got a big race from Blenheim this week. Good old turnaround.

31:32Mike Minogue:Tim, Tim, just quickly. Do you know where Keezy on all wings, looking over his beak with me, Keezy, finished this weekend just gone?

31:39Keyzie:Oh, yeah, not that great. You were 88. 88, okay. Lucky for some. Because it was a shorter distance, I reckon he liked the distance. Two fat ladies. So, today's race, look, you're going to be all good.

31:51Mike Minogue:Okay, so it is, I've been plotting down all the results and the distances, and it does show that my bird is a long-distance bird. What is the longest-distance race that you run, Tim?

32:00Keyzie:Yeah, that's going to be this week, guys. 470 Ks, it's Blenheim to Omeroo.

32:05Mike Minogue:Okay, so 470. The furthest distance so far was 380. So it's an extra 90 kilometres there. Yeah. Okay, all right. So what I've decided, Tim, is we're going to give Keezy on all wings one last chance this weekend just to sort of prove his medal or her medal.

32:25Keyzie:Don't get the bloody recipes ready yet for Pigeon Pie, you know? You could be into some serious money here, fellas. Don't give up.

32:33Mike Minogue:Pigeon Tim, in your experience Do pigeons improve? Because every week I watch the video of the announcement And it's the same pigeons taking out the top spots

32:42Keyzie:No, two rights they improve No, no, like I said, this is all You know, we've got a theory here fellas And I reckon it is because you've got distance on your side This is going to help you out We were actually over in Atataki The other day, just out of Raritanga And someone asked if I was Pigeon Tim We were talking about pigeons and Well yes, it's going far and wide

33:02Mike Minogue:fellas. Someone at Raro asked if you're a pigeon Tim, that's great. Tim, one question I have to ask man is, did you knowingly sell me a dud pigeon? I wouldn't do that. I wouldn't and shouldn't.

33:15Keyzie:Don't worry about that fellas, it's all legit, all good. I'm just looking, we've got a framed photo here of Kesey on all wings looking over his beak with me Kesey. You know, it's got the look of a I don't know, it hasn't got too many brain cells. Do you need to be as smart bird to be a good flyer, Tim? No, I don't think so. Hey, look at these runners out there. You tell me you're saying, Bob's a smart man. Yeah, true, true. Yeah. No, no. Don't panic.

33:44Mike Minogue:Okay. Don't panic. Don't panic, Tizzy. Not yet. Okay, Tim, I won't panic. Not yet. Look, thank you so much for your time again, and a reminder if you're in Timmeroo to check out Hector Black's. It's my favourite pub down there. Yes. Tim, we'll catch up to you maybe next week or the week after, all right?

33:58Keyzie:Sounds good, fellas. Good luck. Good on you, mate. You're going to need it. You know what I think you need to do, Kesey? I think you need to invest more.

34:05Mike Minogue:What do you mean?

34:07Keyzie:In your pigeon. You know, if you want good results, what's the saying? You've got to spend money to make money. That's true, yeah, yeah. So I reckon you need, you know, maybe some nutritionist sort of assistance, all that sort of stuff.

34:20Mike Minogue:Well, a lot of people are texting through 3483, someone suggesting that I feed the pigeon up on steroids. Yes. Look into that as an option. Someone here saying that I've got to ride the pigeon until he wins. Yep, you do have to ride it until he wins. You've got a bit of tough love. A lot of people suggesting I serve it up at my come dine with me. A little outboard motor. On the back of the pigeon. Yeah, on the back of the pigeon. But you know it's flying, eh? Yeah. But an outboard. Yeah, but it's got that fan at the back that goes really fast. What about air? You've got to try everything at this point.

34:53You might roll your eyes, mate, but your bloody pigeon's absolutely hate. Tell me to put a boat motor on a pigeon.

35:00Keyzie:What was your suggestion, Jase? Aerodynamic goggles Oh, yeah, nice Yeah

35:05Mike Minogue:So put goggles on the pigeon

35:06Keyzie:Maybe you need to make it a pigeon suit That's aerodynamic It's a pigeon

35:10Mike Minogue:It doesn't need a pigeon suit The Hauraki Big Show With Jase, Mike and Keezy Tune in weekdays at 4 on Radio Hauraki

35:22Mike Minogue:This is breaking news Boom Boom. The Dunedin Beer Festival is happening once again, fellas, which is bloody exciting. You can get your tickets at dunedinbeerfestival.co.nz. It's the South's biggest weekend of beer, food, and music.

35:38Keyzie:Bloody great time.

35:39Mike Minogue:Every time we go down there, we do a live show. We then go to the beer festival, and it's a bloody good weekend, and I always feel a bit secondhand the following week. Yeah. Let's just say that. Emerson's are the ones flying us down there, and they are making a special brew.

35:54Keyzie:Have they got a plane?

35:56Mike Minogue:No. They're just paying for us to go down there. Oh, right. They're hosting us. I was going to say, jeez, they must be going bloody well

36:03Keyzie:if they own their own plane.

36:05Mike Minogue:I don't think Emerson's has an aeroplane. We don't know. No, well, we don't know. You're right. But they're flying us down there because they are making a special beer for the festival. It is a tropical hazy pale ale, and they need a name for the beer. Backbone. Okay. So that's, yeah, well, Backbone, I guess you could call it. What about Backbone Brew? I think we've already had Backbone Brew. Have we? I think pretty sure we have. What about backbone, backbone, hashtag backbone? Well, you could call it backbone, backbone, hashtag backbone, but Mogi, to be honest, it's up to the listeners, man. I'm just chucking out some ideas, though, to get the creative juices.

36:37Keyzie:What about Keezy on all fours looking over his shoulder with me, Keezy? What about Keezy on all fours looking over his shoulder with me, citrusy, hazy, pale ale, was it? Citrusy, hazy, pale ale. So say that again? Kesey on all fours looking over his shoulder with me, citrusy, hazy, pale ale.

37:00Mike Minogue:Yeah, cool. I reckon we just lock that in because that rolls off the tongue and we just sort of flag the whole competition. Yeah, okay, sorted. No, but the way it works is you call up, you then tell us your best bear name. Okay. Okay, what you want to name this thing, and then you get to go in the draw. To be honest, we don't really, you know, we haven't explained the competition yet to these people, so let's just take Jory there. G'day, Jory, how you going? Not too bad, yourself? Yeah, good, mate. Hey, have you got a name for the beer, man? Honestly? No. Off the top of my head, I would give it something real cool, like the special meat patty nip hazy pale ale.

37:39Mike Minogue:There we go. Special meat patty nip hazy.

37:41Keyzie:He just actually gave me an idea, which I think would be a great name for a beer, off the top of my head. Boom.

37:49Mike Minogue:Or off my head. All of the above. Thanks so much, Joey. Hold the line there, mate. Look, have a think, all right? Have a think. We need to float it so that people know that the calls are coming. We're going to be taking calls on this, aren't we, Keezy, moving forward? So have a think about it. Come up with a name and be ready to give us a bell when you hear the cue to call. You know, it sort of feels like a de-doge, de-doge, de-doge, de-doge. De-doge, de-doge. There's an option there. What else have we got? That's pretty much it. My wife. That's pretty old. Yeah. What about come drink with me?

38:23Mike Minogue:Oh, yeah. Really? You like that? Feels?

38:32Keyzie:It's She-Hard.

38:36Mike Minogue:The Hauraki Big Show with Jace, Mike and Keezy. Tune in weekdays at four on Radio Hauraki.

38:42Keyzie:Welcome back, you massive bank bones. Hope your Tuesday is absolutely going off. You're listening to The Big Show, incidentally, brought to you by Reburgu.

38:50Mike Minogue:Beef, chicken, vegan and vegetarian options. Re-burger, redefining the norm, man. Re-burger.

38:56Keyzie:Norm, man. Yeah, good stuff. What's on the plate tonight, Mogey? I'm not entirely... Oh, no, no. There was some kind of a mushroomy, grainy type of an affair being assembled at home, and yeah, see how that goes. Like a bit of mushroom action, actually, to be honest. Yeah, I'm not sure about the grains. I don't know, it'll be delicious, I'm sure. Good for your stool. Oh, my stool, Keezy, and you'll know this, man, has never been better.

39:26Mike Minogue:Jase, I did know that. Yeah. It's been so good lately, Amo. You're doing well, man. Yeah. It's because of all the grains. How about you, Keezy? What do you got on your plate tonight?

39:35Keyzie:Well, you would have probably finished for the day, wouldn't you?

39:38Mike Minogue:I had a hot pot before the show. Oh, yes. Came into town early, parked up, walked down to the hot pot there. Seriously feel weird right now. My stomach feels very weird. something inside me is going to burst at any moment.

39:51Keyzie:Something inside me. Great show, that.

39:54Mike Minogue:Tonight we're having a homemade butter chicken pie. Oh, yeah.

39:58Keyzie:I like the sound of that. Yeah. Can you bring me in, son?

40:00Mike Minogue:We made butter chicken a while back, and we had some leftovers, so we made a pie, put it in the freezer. Yes. Get it out, because my wife's got squash tonight. Oh, yeah. Question for you, Hoardy J, man. My daughter, having seen the video from Come Dime with the fellas that went up on our Instagram page last evening, and he had a bite of the wonderful Pugsart, who you'll remember spent an hour and a half taking a dip. Yeah, it was crazy. During that dinner. She was wondering if you had any leftover meringues, and perhaps you could bring one in for my daughter. She likes a meringue. No. She was fuming that she didn't get one.

40:32Keyzie:Yeah, yeah, no, fair enough, too. Bloody delicious. No, we don't. Sorry, Moggy. They're all gone. Ate them all, did you? Yeah, well, I think my daughter did.

40:40Mike Minogue:Well, they're delicious.

40:41Keyzie:Yeah, yeah.

40:42Mike Minogue:They were delicious. Hey, speaking of delicious, What are you having for tea tonight, New Zealand? Yes. 3483 flick us a text. Every single text in the drawer for 50 bucks with a Reburger.

40:51Keyzie:Yeah, good stuff, mate. What am I having for tea, did you ask? Homemade pizzas with ham on the bone, you know, just sprinkled all over it. You're going to have ham on the bone. I'm just going to put the whole bone on my pizza. Just wrap it up. It's great. Some cheese on there. And, yeah. Good stuff, Horty J. A bit of chilling.

41:12Mike Minogue:The Hauraki Big Show with Jase, Mike and Keezy. Tune in weekdays at 4 on Radio Hauraki.

41:18Keyzie:The Black Keys there on the Hauraki Big Show this Tuesday evening, but right now it's time for... Time to chat footy with me, Keezy.

41:29Mike Minogue:What are the Warriors up to? The Warriors are taking on the Seagulls this Saturday, 5pm. It is the final round of the regular season. It is. You're right there, Keezy, man. And the Waz are in the top spot, Jase, on the ladder. Yeah, man. Which means they've bagged a home semi. Doesn't matter too much whether we've finished first or second.

41:48Keyzie:It doesn't? Okay.

41:50Mike Minogue:Not drastically, you know. So, Mogey and I both had a hunch that they would rest some key players, and it looks like they have made that call on a couple of players, specifically Wade Egan, our hooker, who's been brilliant all season and damn near the best hooker in the entire game, and also Kurt Capewell, who's a very experienced, premiership winning, state of origin winning player who is slightly older. And he's had a great season as well. He's been in for most of the season, I think, old Kirk Capel. So those two being rested, I like. But other than that, Mogi, they're still named a pretty stacked team.

42:21They have. And if you look at it, yeah, Charles Knuckle-Kluck stack returns from suspension. He had two weeks off, in which time we had Tain Tuapiki came back and sort of, I thought, solidified his position as fullback because they've been kicking like a mad bastard. But I'll be honest with you, there's something about it, Chance. I love him at fullback. A bigger body, better on defence, and I think we'll need it. Adam Pompey on the wing. Lea Toa and Lekka are the centres. AKP is on the other wing. But Chanel Harris-Tavita and Tomori Martin return in the hearts. And I think that's possibly part of the reason why they want this team to be stacked.

42:59You could have rested Fisher-Harris and Barney as well, but they probably want to give as good a platform as possible to our halves pairing so that they can really come back and find their feet and go well so that when we're going into that first semi, they're not sort of having to, you know, find their feet there. They've already got a bit of game time under. Quality ball behind a decent pack, I think, is important after a few weeks off.

43:25Mike Minogue:True that. Jase, in your experience, how do you approach a semi?

43:29Keyzie:Yeah, what I was going to say, it's actually a really interesting question, isn't it? Because obviously they're guaranteed that. So the tendency would be, let's rest up, fellas, all our key players. And we've had some horrific injury situations with the Warriors this year. But there's also the other school of thought, which is keep the momentum going. Keep the fellas playing. Keep them in good form so that when you hit the semi, you're all guns a-blazing. But you would be at the back of your mind going, oh, let's just hope no one gets injured.

44:00Mike Minogue:What do you know about Eddie Iremia-Toyava, who's starting in the back row? What do you know about him? Heaps. Good player. First start of the season, Mogey, I think. I think so, yeah. He's a bloody good player when he comes in. He only pops up every now and then, depending on injuries.

44:15Keyzie:I reckon he deserves more time.

44:18Mike Minogue:100%, Jase. But I tell you what, Aaron Clark in 13, and one of my favourite players, favourite payers this season, Jacob Laban in 12. Yeah, man. Shit, he's good. He's got the lid. And Makaya Tafua makes his way onto the interchange as well. He's a hooker, right? There's a hooker cover. He had a brilliant debut, and then we haven't seen much of him. I think he is outstanding.

44:40Keyzie:Same, man. Hasn't had enough time.

44:42Mike Minogue:Isn't it great that the Waz are so stacked, right? Even though we've had heaps of halfbacks go down, Jet Cleary comes in, makes his debut. It's really like it's a historic moment. The younger brother of the best player in the league plays one game, boom, back to reserves because our main guys are back. Yeah. It's bloody good, man, the Waz. It's hard, man. It's hard out there. But that's this Saturday, 5 p.m., Waz taking on the Sea Eagles. Get around it. Tune. Is this Oasis? Yeah. Have you seen this live, man?

45:10Keyzie:Hello. Yeah. Yeah, man. It's a tune. Yeah.

45:14Mike Minogue:Wonderwall, Jase.

45:15Keyzie:Yeah.

45:16Mike Minogue:It's good stuff.

45:17Keyzie:Yeah.

45:18Mike Minogue:The Hodaki Big Show with Jase, Mike and Kesey. Tune in weekdays at four on Radio Hodaki.

45:23Keyzie:David Bowie there on the Hodaki Big Show this Tuesday evening. Now, you fellas were talking about Circa de Alice. Circa d 'Alice. And apparently. Circa d 'Alice, yes. Circa d 'Alice, okay. We are going to get some of the backbones from that show on the show tomorrow. That's how they describe themselves. The cast describe themselves not as cast but as backbone. Yes, which is cool. My understanding is we're going to have Alice herself.

45:52Mike Minogue:Who was magnificent. Magnifique. Amazing voice. Incredible voice. Why are you looking at me like that? And also the Mad Hatter. Yeah. Who's something of a mad bastard. He's a mad master. He's got a cool hat.

46:05Keyzie:Is he quite mad, is he? He's quite hattery. Yeah. But it got me thinking when I was sitting there. I was like, man, there used to be a time when, you know, your circuses would come to town, but they'd be your animal ones. Yes. Your elephants. Your trapeze artists, perhaps. Your lion. Well, let's see do that.

46:23Mike Minogue:Lion. Dog in a tutu. Yeah, dog dressed up. A bear on a push bike with a little dress on. A clown. Ringing a bell. Yeah. You know? The bell's very specific. All those sorts of things. But now you've sort of got rid of the animals. People don't like to see the animals. Yes. They're like an animal in a zoo. Yeah. Their natural habitat. Well, I think, you know, historically, a lot of, like, elephants and stuff have trampled and set off fires and killed a lot of people. Oh, they're shocking bastards. Yeah. I blame the animals. Yeah, right. That's interesting. Would they have the, like, the dagger wheel, you know?

47:02Keyzie:Yes. Where they spin the wheel or someone pinned to it. That's right.

47:08Mike Minogue:So that's them throwing daggers at the person. Yeah, yeah, yeah.

47:12Keyzie:Don't hit the person, Kesey.

47:13Mike Minogue:No, of course. So we're going to have a couple of the cast members from Cirque du Soleil Alison tomorrow, which is exciting. Yeah. And it got us thinking, didn't it, really? If we were to run away with the circus, what roles would we take, each of us?

47:31Keyzie:Well I've got to be the guy in the top hat And the ringmaster Surely I mean Or the lion tamer You know what I mean I can see you putting your head in the mouth of a lion Hippopotamus

47:45Mike Minogue:Or a hippopotamus A hippo of course is the classic circus animal But never felt like a circus Unless you had a hippopotamus there I mean, obviously, I could be like the human cannonball Oh, yeah Fire me out of a cannon Oh, yeah

48:03Keyzie:That's right, the human cannonball There's sort of that, they have the strong man Who sort of wears the punk sun leotard Yeah And he is sort of the moe But Kesey, you'd have to shave your head off Because he was always bald, that fella

48:15Mike Minogue:Yeah, I'll shave my head off Yeah And then wax up my moustache and make it curly

48:20Keyzie:Did they used to have, I'm trying to remember what it was called You know, like the bearded ladies I was just thinking the bearded lady. The freak show. Yeah, and you go, ooh. What were the other freaks in the freak show?

48:32Mike Minogue:So you had the ugliest woman alive. Yeah, that's right. Which was actually a shaved ape. Oh, was it? Historically, in the, what's the name of P.T. Barnum's traveling circus, it was a shaved ape. A bear, sorry, a shaved bear. It was the ugliest woman alive. They'd sedate it and put it in a dress.

48:48Keyzie:And, of course, the bearded woman. There's someone for everyone.

48:53Mike Minogue:The bearded woman was a woman who actually did have that condition where you grow facial hair. I think it's that condition where they just don't wax. Yeah, yeah. Well, you don't just grow a beard as a woman, traditionally. What would you do, Moggy? I don't know. I sort of feel like I'd like to be a part of the trapeze. Oh, yeah. One of the clowns would be good because you go around with a bucket and you pretend you've got water in there. You know, you trip over. Yeah, and go, oh. There's no water.

49:18Keyzie:Yeah, backbone. Yeah, and try and throw it into the crowd. Backbone the clown.

49:25Mike Minogue:That'd be great. I like it. It actually would be a lot of fun, I think, to be in a circus, and particularly this one. If you do get to go along and see Cirque du Alice, a lot of good-looking bastards in there, Keezy. Oh, yeah. Did you notice that, man? Tweedledee and Tweedledum, they're pretty hot. The Hauraki Big Show with Jase, Mike, and Keezy. Tune in weekdays at 4 on Radio Hauraki.

49:55Keyzie:Well, there you go, you mad bastards. That's the big show done and dusted this Tuesday. In the disclaimer, we talked all sorts of stuff, didn't we, Keezy? What's the clip today?

50:06Mike Minogue:Good question, Jase. The disclaimer being the bonus podcast we do every single day. Search Horeaki Big Show. It's a filthy one today, if I remember. Keezy was off the rails. Was he? Shocking, bastard. Oh, yeah, that's right. Well, that'll probably explain why this clip is named, Ooh, Keezy. I don't rate the c*** of a standing man it's not as good it's never as good I don't mind it what do you mean? that's going on the show f*** it man

50:41Mike Minogue:yeah sorry fellas I was out of control there and if you listen to that you'll see well you won't see your hair. It's kind of creepy. What, me just saying I don't mind it? It's all the stuff around it. It's all the other stuff. It's all the eye contact around it. Yeah, right. The hand signals and that.

51:01Keyzie:Mogi, plans for the evening, please. Going home now, man. Yeah, okay. Good call. I might have a bath and read a bit more of me book. Yeah, sure. But I also want to watch The Whisper Man as well. Yeah. You know? I was meant to watch it last night, but I was too tired and I went to bed early. I've got Gotta get a good sleep in me, fellas. I've just got to. Yeah, man. It's ruining my days, fellas. So I'll have some sleepy tea. Might have a standing up one. We'll see how we go. Yeah, good.

51:27Mike Minogue:Yeah, I don't mind a standing up one. What? It's a sleepy tea. I don't even know what you're talking about, man. What are you up to, Jase?

51:36Keyzie:Well, I want to know what you're up to. If you say a standing up one. I don't care what either of you are doing. Can I go? No.

51:42Mike Minogue:Yeah, you can. No, no. Stop. I'm having pie. Yeah, nice. I like pie. My wife just messaged me like, hey, not going to squash tonight. Can't be bothered. Oh, no. Just ruined your night. We're going to eat pie. It kind of has a wee bit. We'll eat pie together, and then we'll probably watch another episode of Outrageous Fortune, the final episode of the first season. Yeah, nice. Jase.

52:04Keyzie:I'm going to go home and stuff my face.

52:07Mike Minogue:And then have dinner. I don't even know what that means. I do. Shocking, but.

52:12Keyzie:Because I'm starving. two nights in a row I've gone home starving but I've resisted buying anything on the way home I'm going to fill my boots watch some TV and then I don't know actually what I might we don't care after the watch TV part must go um go to he's got to go man I've got to go man actually had quite a late one last night so I'll probably look to have a bit of a nerd hey take care out there goodbye see you tomorrow

52:35Mike Minogue:doosh doosh doosh doosh doosh

52:45We'll be right back.