FULL SHOW: The Return Of Dinner Parties

12:20Keyzie:Turn it into a bar, maybe.

12:22Mike Minogue:Or make a ring or something that you could actually still have on you. You know what I mean?

12:28Keyzie:Yeah, it'll be a massive ring, Kesey. I don't know if I want to melt it down. Well, I'm not saying the whole thing. I don't want to melt it down teapot as a ring on my finger. I mean, that would just be stupid. It was just a suggestion.

12:40Mike Minogue:I guess the issue too is like, what are you going to leave behind? Oh, yeah, your boy's trip hat. Yes, look. Your black hoodie.

12:47Keyzie:Like, what I'm going to leave behind is huge wealth. Huge wealth. A financial sort of comfort.

12:55Mike Minogue:And a full library of very questionable radio content, which is all going to be available online.

13:02Keyzie:Yeah, totally, man. But I want to know what the audience thinks about this on 3483 because I'm genuine about this because there is that part of me that goes, oh, no, you can't do that. You get a bit of a guilt trip later on, don't you? Because it's regarded as being of value to somebody else, and it is that it seems to be of value, but really it's just another box of shit. It is.

13:18Mike Minogue:Yes, that's true. You'd be happy to know, Jase, three people have texted and asked me if they can have the duck plates. 3483. if you'd like any of this stuff.

13:27Keyzie:I should start an online auction.

13:29Mike Minogue:Do you know how to do that?

13:30Keyzie:No.

13:31Mike Minogue:The Hauraki Big Show with Jace, Mike and Kesey. Tune in weekdays at four on Radio Hauraki.

13:37Keyzie:Yes, indeed. Metallica there on the Radio Hauraki Big Show this Monday afternoon. Now, of course, it was a bit of rugby league action over the weekend. With that in mind, we've got our own resident rugby league legend on the line with us, Charlie Gabb. G'day, Charlie, you mad bastard. How's life? Hoity, jazz. Life is good. I'm a bit disorientated after listening to that heavy metal where I was hoping for some chilli peppers or some Kings of Leon. Wow, yeah. Fair, fair. Maybe it's messing with your head so much that you've started jumping on competitors' radio stations, man. What's that all about?

14:11In what way? But, but, but, but. I've seen you on other radio stations, Charlie. What the hell's going on?

14:16Mike Minogue:That's not the real me. You've got the real me here right now, right? Am I not allowed to be two-faced?

14:21Keyzie:No, mate, you can't. Now, listen, Charlie, two, as Mogi put them, two good, solid losses from the Fells. Your thoughts on the game over the weekend?

14:37It was still a brave performance, Hoere. I feel like we didn't play well in attack. Defence was very good. We didn't really let them score, you know, for the last 60. But it was just a real strange game. Like, you don't see those sort of games anymore from class teams where it's so low scoring, but we were very inexperienced off the bench, and I thought that showed in the end when it was a close game.

15:04Mike Minogue:100%, Charlie. It was a tough watch for me. For some reason, I was watching that game the whole time. I was like, oh, man, it wasn't as enjoyable as a Warriors game usually is, perhaps because of the inexperience and stuff out there. But also, you know, despite the inexperience, the Sharks are a very, very potent offensive side. As you said, we kept them to just one try. And then it took a moment or two moments of absolute brilliance for them to win the game. It took their fullback charging down and somehow catching the ball all the way. Ridiculous. Will Kennedy and then their 5 '8 slotting a 40 plus meter, you know, field goal.

15:41Mike Minogue:Surely those young fellas, especially guys like Tannis Dower-Smith, they can take a lot of sort of pride from the fact that they managed to do that, right? Right, right, right, right. Tanner Salismith is the man, and the whole team is the man. But we just, I don't know, we did get a little bit dominated in that game. Like, it was hard to get momentum. Even our backs weren't carrying, like, they were carrying hard. But Sharks were up, and like you said, they're a good side. they came over and we've had it pretty easy as Warriors fans the last few months. So it's just, yeah, it's a bit uneasy losing.

16:19But at the same time, it's the NRL and we're still second on the ladder. Feels like this time last year if we had the same players missing, we would have got belted by 20. So I enjoyed it. I enjoyed the arm wrestle nature of it. But I think you're right. It felt like we were always sort of under the gun and trying to get out of our end. and I think it sort of points to the loss of Roger at Tuavasa Shek where we've lost a bit of size in that back five. We've got Toa Piki, Kampereira, and all of those guys sort of get, they don't make the big metres coming out the back end there. No, you're right.

16:56They're not as good at the tough carries to get momentum, but, yeah, I think what it boils down to, Mogey, Sharks were better on the night. They were, man. We didn't put our best performance in, but it was still all effort. We put our best effort in, and we just missed the marker. But there's nothing to worry about. We're going to be back on this week. Who have we got? We've got the Cowboys. Cowboys, mate. Cowboys down in Christchurch. And exactly right. I mean, we held them scoreless. The only reason they scored is because we got penalised from a bit of a weird thing from the referee. Penalised us after telling us we had five seconds left to do a dropout.

17:32And then, yeah, we got penalised. So that was two points. and then DWZ brain explosion led to a try. Yeah, that's right. And that probably came from us not getting out of our half that well. You know, DWZ looked for a bit of a shortcut, an offload. If it went to hand, it would have worked. It didn't. They skilled on the back of it, and that was the only try they got. Fancy. Gabby. We had opportunity. Hang on, Hoity. When you hear a two-second pause, then you talk. So we had opportunities. Excuse me. Sorry. Hang on. Rebuttal soon. We had opportunities to win at Hoity. Tomite Martin got charged down.

18:10We fumbled a little bit in the corner. It was a half opportunity, but that's footy, you know. That's footy. Hoity, you're all pleased.

18:17Keyzie:This brings me to my very point. I was on the chat live while we were watching the game in those last few minutes. We got the penalty right on their try line. We decided to take the kick, and I was saying, kick for the corner, back yourselves to score, because I had a terrible feeling that they were going to miss the kick. Championship teams, Gubby, take those opportunities. They back themselves and they score. Yes, you're right. And I'm pretty sure we're going to learn from that one. So next time when it's the championship rounds, we'll be winning and they'll be going, who had he told us about that?

18:54Yeah, totally, man.

18:56Mike Minogue:You're a genius, Jase. Before we let you go there, Charlie, who was your Portaking player of the round, mate? It wasn't a player. It was a new restaurant out west, West Auckland. I was up there, mother-in-law's birthday. It's called West Banquet Buffet, and it was 10 out of 10. Wow. How good.

19:13Keyzie:How good. I've never heard of that place. I've lived there for 50 years. That's shocking. Hey, what about Tarfua, man, just briefly? Oh, yeah, he's the man. He's the other. He was runner-up. Yeah. Yeah, if he was working the tables at the banquet, he would have got it. Yeah, good stuff. Hey, Gubbie, sorry, mate, there's a song playing, so we're going to have to cut you off.

19:33Mike Minogue:Big shout-out to Charlie Gubb. If you need a port-a-loo and you're in the Wellington area, make sure you hit up Uncle Charlie at Portaking. Thanks, Charlie. See you, fellas. The Hauraki Big Show, weekdays from 4 on Radio Hauraki.

19:46Keyzie:Yes, indeed, Lincoln Park there on the Radio Hauraki Big Show this Monday afternoon. Let's talk TV. What's on the telly with Mike Minogue?

20:00Keyzie:Yeah. Yeah. On Saturday night there, fellas, watch Marty Supreme. Oh, cool. Marty Supreme with Timothy Shumalama Ding Dong. And that one there and there. Got about halfway through it and went to bed. Must be good. It's all right. You watch the end of it? No. Okay. I'll get there, but yeah, I wasn't blown away. I was really looking forward to it because I'd managed to avoid knowing anything about it during all the Oscar runs and all that sort of stuff. It's a bit of a weird one because you've got the main guy, Marty Supreme, who's right into his ping pong. He wants to be the world champion of ping pong back in the day there.

20:43Yes. And he's a massive dickhead. He is. And he's completely unlikable. I'm assuming at some point he might get likable. And so it's a weird thing to watch when... You're not rooting for him. At all. Yeah. It's like House of Dragons. It's like that. He's a complete idiot. Like, we're just watching it going, this guy sucks. No redeeming qualities at all. Yeah. He's not funny or anything? No, he's not funny. He's kind of like what you think Timothee Chalamet would be like in real life. Right. Yes. But anyway, if you like that sort of thing, get along. I watched that on Apple. Yeah, nice. I rented it for eight bucks.

21:19But, yeah, two buzzies out of impossible five? So far. So far.

21:24Keyzie:I know exactly the point you're making. He's not a likeable character at all. I enjoyed it, though. Right. But, yeah, I watched Gattaca. Oh, nice. Irma Thurman, Ethan Hawke. Yes, actually, where they fell in love. They fell in love on the set. Written and directed by New Zealander Andrew Nichol. Yes. I've never heard of it. Vincent, a genetically inferior man who always aspired to travel in space, assumes the identity of a paraplegic in order to accomplish his goal. It's in a world where you can be genetically modified or choose not to. And his parents went, I don't want to do that. And so when you're born, they have a readout.

22:01Keyzie:And it's like, oh, there's a 99 % chance you're going to have heart defects. Your predicted death is around 32 years of age. But anyway, he was so determined to become, to fly into space. And it's a story around that. It was a controversial film in the sense that, because it's a big sort of sci-fi blockbuster, I think it costs like 30 odd million to make. And it was a big flop. and the reason it was a big flop because there wasn't any sort of action scenes really. You know, there wasn't the big explosions and space action but I actually really enjoyed it as a film, as a sort of psychological film.

22:37Keyzie:But yeah, look, I'll give it a good solid 3.2 bozzies.

22:40Mike Minogue:Bozzies.

22:40Keyzie:Bozzies.

22:42Mike Minogue:How many bozzies are there on the bozzies? Yeah, okay, cool. I watched some stuff but I'll talk about it tomorrow because we're running out of time here, fellas. But after 5 o 'clock, we've got some serious show admin to discuss. we've got to revisit come dine with me yes okay so we'll get into that admin after five beautiful The Hauraki Big Show with Jace, Mike and Keezy tune in weekdays at four on Radio Hauraki

23:09Keyzie:welcome back you massive backbones hope you're getting through your Monday tickety boo you're listening to The Big Show by the way brought to you by Reburger

23:16Mike Minogue:handcrafted burgers loaded fries and gourmet eats that will change the game Reburger

23:25Mike Minogue:Yeah. Totally, fellas. So good. Coming up next, we're going to be discussing Come Dine With Me. Yes. Now, we sort of toyed with this idea a couple of months ago, Jase, three months ago, two or three. Yeah, it's been a while, eh? Yeah, for sure. Mokey, you were addicted to the TV show for a while there. It's my one five-star review of the year, the British TV show Come Dine With Me. We're a group of people who get together. They go around for dinner at each other's houses over the course of a week, and they give each other a rating to come up with a winner at the end of the week and win£1 ,000.

23:59Mike Minogue:Yes. Which is very, very funny. And so Jase just so happened to be hosting a dinner at his new apartment, right? And then we were like, well, let's turn this into a mini come dine with me. Very successful. A lot of chat out of it. Well, not if you read the scores. It wasn't. Well, it's not my fault you got a 6 out of 10, mate. I mean, it kind of is my fault because I gave you the rating, but it was your fault. Sure. You know what I mean? But that now begs the question, who's hosting the next one? How's it going to work? What's it going to look like? Because we need to do this legit. Yes. Properly.

24:29Keyzie:Yeah, I totally agree. And just as a sort of outside sort of periphery to that whole argument, you know, technically I wasn't told it was a come dine with me. So do I get another opportunity? We'll get into all of that.

24:42Mike Minogue:Pass all of that next, though. 100%. You can have as many opportunities as you want, Jase.

24:47Keyzie:And I'm well embedded in my new place now, Whereas I'd only just moved in then. She was a bit tenuous.

24:54Mike Minogue:Oh, I can feel a seven. Potential seven coming on. Here's Linkin Park. The Hauraki Big Show with Jace, Mike and Kesey. Tune in weekdays at four on Radio Hauraki.

25:04Keyzie:Yes, indeed. We are there on the Radio Hauraki Big Show this Monday evening. The time is 5.13. And we're wanting to reset the table, fellas, on our Come Dine With Me competition. See what you've done there, man. Come dine with... The Feelings. And the idea of it basically is sort of based on the program where we each host an evening at our place, we cook the meals, the fellas come over and we give each other a score. Yes.

25:32Mike Minogue:So in the TV show, I've not watched a lot of it, is it like an entree main dessert every single time? Plus entertainment. Plus entertainment. You don't have to do the entertainment. But do people, like in the TV show, do they try and learn how to juggle and really lame stuff like that? No, they've either got a natural talent or they might get in a singer or a guy on a piano or something like that. You know, something. I've seen pole dancers and all sorts of different stuff that they've had there.

26:01Keyzie:And often, too, the ones I've seen, they'll have a theme. Yes, often a theme. There'll be some sort of theme action going on. And you'll have people come along, Keezy style, and try and sabotage things. What is this? Oh, it's a pie. Did you make the pastry or did you buy the pastry? I wouldn't do that. All this sort of stuff. I wouldn't do that. Oh, you're going to put this in that glass. Oh, okay. Oh, good.

26:23Mike Minogue:Okay, serving red wine in tumblers deserves to get you knocked down a peg in the ratings. Perfectly normal. Really? Perfectly normal.

26:32Keyzie:Perfectly normal. Yeah. Well, so here's the thing. I did the first one. And in fairness to me, we hadn't even really started the come dine with me. It became come dine with me after the event. It was, now, to be clear, Keezy, myself, and Pugs, we knew it was come dine with me, but it was a surprise for you. So you're on six points.

26:51Mike Minogue:Yeah. Well, no, I gave you a six out of ten. What did you give him? Eight? Probably an eight. Yeah.

26:56Keyzie:And Pugs gave me an eight. No, I gave a seven because I needed to have room to move for everybody else. Maybe it was an eight. It would have been an eight. Yeah, you were an eight, and Pugs was an eight, Keezy was a six.

27:05Mike Minogue:So you add those together, it's 22 out of a possible 30. Yeah. And that was your partner as well, involved.

27:11Keyzie:Yes, indeed it was. So we're here again and we want to reboot it into life. Properly. Properly. And the decision we need to make is who's next on the list.

27:21Mike Minogue:Yeah. And also, so I think we might have to draw names out of a hat or something. Do you want your name to be in there? Do you count that first come down with me or do you want to start again, clean slate, no, six out of ten?

27:33Keyzie:Start again.

27:34Mike Minogue:Start again.

27:34Keyzie:Are you confident you can do better than that? Absolutely.

27:36Mike Minogue:Because the risk of getting a five out of ten is definitely there.

27:39Keyzie:Yeah, absolutely I am. Because you had practically nothing to do with any of the food the first time around, Jason. Do you think that's cost you? Because you've never rated your wife's cooking. Oh, look, I rate it very, very highly. About a six. Yes, well you know.

27:51Mike Minogue:Can I just remind you that I brought a large portion of the entree and brought the bread, which everyone ended up having the meatballs on. So I was partially involved. You were more involved in the catering than Jace was. Than Jace was, exactly. Yeah. Yeah, definitely. I'll give it another crack. Imagine if we put the names in the hat, draw it out, it's Jace's name. Yeah, that's true. We do it again at his house, and then we just kind of lose fizz around the whole thing.

28:18Keyzie:And also, the weird thing was, I'd only just moved into my apartment. We were there for 15 minutes, and we already had a complaint from the neighbour underneath. So I was a bit tense, a bit more tense than I would normally be, because it was like, fellas, can you keep it down a bit? Especially when my wife started telling lies, and you guys found that hilarious. Yeah, that was great. So how do we want to do who gets to do it next? I think so.

28:42Mike Minogue:I think names and a hat, pure, and we'll all plead our case because I know each of us kind of doesn't want to host this first one for various reasons, which we'll get into next. Do you reckon if you host another one, Jase, just as your wife says, all right, anyone want seconds, you'll get up and clear everyone's plates so they can't have them?

29:01Keyzie:Well, I like a tidy house, mate, Geezy.

29:04Mike Minogue:Yeah, fair enough.

29:05Keyzie:Especially the way you were slopping around the meatballs all over the bloody couch.

29:08Mike Minogue:I was slapping the meatballs on the couch, was I? Here's Queen to the Stone Age. The Hauraki Big Show. Weekdays from four on Radio Hauraki.

29:19Keyzie:Yes, indeed. Pearl Jam there on the Radio Hauraki Big Show this Monday afternoon. The time is 5.26. And we're discussing Come Dine With Me. Come Dine With The Feelings. Which is a competition we sort of started out with. I mean, it's based on a TV show where each of the fellas here has all the other fellas and their partners over for dinner and we give each other a score. That's right. That's a pretty direct rip-off from the TV show.

29:48Mike Minogue:Oh, 100%. Very direct. We've even named it after the TV show. PugSan's also here. Ooh, it's PugSan. Didn't know we were having a handsome club in here, fellas. That's a bit weird, man.

30:01Keyzie:How's it been? Real weird. Nice to see you. G'day, Pugs.

30:05Mike Minogue:I've marked you down already on your first one.

30:07Keyzie:Can I just say just quietly, and I want to say it out loud. Okay. I personally think Pugsan's a big favourite for this. 100%. He's a chef de magnifique. De magnifique. I'm not sure, and I think the food will be great. Yes. Hey, so what we've decided to do is I'm going to chuck my hat back in the ring because I felt I wasn't given fair chance there. I didn't realise it was a come-dine-with-me thing. It was just the fellas for dinner. All right, all right. So we're going to chuck it back in there.

30:40Mike Minogue:Now, before we do this draw, I've written four names down on pieces of paper. I've put them in Jace's boys' trip hat, which is great. Is that reeking? It does reek. It smells like brille cream.

30:50Keyzie:There'll be a few nits in there as well, actually, so just be careful.

30:54Mike Minogue:Now, just quickly, pretty much all of us don't want to host this first one. Yeah. So, Moggy, there's a strong chance your wife might not be here? I've just got stuff on, man. Oh, okay. I've just got stuff on. I'm just very, very busy. That's it? That's it. What about you, Kesey? Well, I'm about to move house. Yeah. So to host a big dinner party in my house as I'm trying to, I'm sort of like half-packed, I don't know. Yeah. That's ages away. It'll be a bit of a pain in the ass. You know what I mean? Yes. Pugs? Hello. Why don't you want to host the first one? I'm just really busy, man. And also I very recently hosted a dinner party, and it was like, ooh, got to have a cool-down period after that.

31:33Was that on the weekend just been? Yeah.

31:34Mike Minogue:But also, isn't your house, it's like a one-bedroom, tiny apartment thing? Yeah, but that's not going to change by the time we end up hosting. Why are you always banging on about that? Yeah, what's that matter, man? Just because it's a one-bedroom apartment. This is his home.

31:46Keyzie:You can't bag his house, man.

31:48Mike Minogue:It's still a night for you guys. It's pretty small, though, isn't it? Yeah, it's pretty small.

31:54Keyzie:I don't know what's wrong with you fellas. I'm fizzing at the prospect.

31:57Mike Minogue:Yeah, because, Jason, you've got a massive new apartment and not a lot on. So it's perfect for you. And you've had a practice run. And you've had a practice run. Oh, yeah, you have. True. Okay, so I've put all the names in a hat. Ew, I'm touching it. It's like it's damp inside the hat as well. That'd be all right. Okay, Hoity J. I did wheeze in it because it's good for your hair. You did wheeze in your hat. All right, Hoity J. All right, so I'm picking one randomly out of the hat. Yeah. Just one, the little, so just grab one and then unfold it. I'll play the drum roll. You ready? Yeah. The host of the first Come Dine With Me is...

32:35Mike Minogue:Moogie. Hey! Excellent. So Moogie's hosting the first one. How good.

32:42Keyzie:Yeah, man, that's great news.

32:44Mike Minogue:I'm off the hook. So what are we thinking at some point in the next three weeks? Will we not just draw them all out now? Or are we going to do it? No, I think... Going to slow, slowly drag it out. I think you draw it each time based on the names that are left. All right, beauty. Well, my wife's got no idea any of this is going on, so she's going to be thrilled. Yeah, good. Right, well, so is it tonight? Yes, tonight. Yeah, absolutely. Looking forward to October, man. The Hauraki Beat Show with Jase, Mike and Keezy. Tune in weekdays at four on Radio Hauraki. Let's see who's joining Gerian Manaya on the Export Ultra Grand Final Bear Garden Tour.

33:21Keyzie:Yes, indeed, and we don't want good people going to this competition. We want people that are going to just make an absolute spectacle of it. The most undeserved winner is what we're aiming for. Yeah, totally.

33:31Mike Minogue:For the fellas, eh? Yeah, just because obviously we hate breakfast. Well, it's just born out of jealousy, really. Yeah. They get to go on this cool trip and we don't.

33:41Keyzie:And to be fair, Kesey, they tried to booby trap us. Did they try to booby trap us? Remember when we had our competition for Magic Round, they were trying to get real pieces of work to win it.

33:52Mike Minogue:Yeah, so let's do the same to them. Yeah, totally. Booby trap them. Booby trap. By the way, this prize that people are calling through on 0800 Hauraki, you will win three nights in Sydney, staying at a five-star hotel, return flights. You'll be at the Randwick Races the day before. You will then do a harbour cruise to the stadium for the big grand final, the rugby league grand final. Could the Wars be there? Maybe. Who knows? Yeah, man. It's a huge weekend, and you'll be going with Gerry Minaya and G-Lane as well.

34:19Keyzie:Too good. G'day, Big Reds, you mad bastard. How's life? Oh, not bad. How are you, mate? Yeah, good, thanks, mate. Can't complain there, Big Red. What do you do for a crust, mate? Oh, dairy for life, mate. Oh, backbone. Yeah, massive backbone. What's your favourite cow, man? Oh, Friesian, obviously. Yeah, I prefer Friesian, yeah.

34:40Mike Minogue:Or a dirty Angus.

34:41Keyzie:Oh, an Angus, yeah, yeah, the old Angus.

34:44Mike Minogue:Yeah, for sure. What's your favourite cow, Jase? I like the Friesian. Oh, okay. What a copy. Yeah, what a copycat, man. Yeah, man. You've got your own cow ideas. They're the black and white ones, eh? Yeah, yeah. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Yeah, I don't know. Hey, Big Red, how was Waikato today, mate? Was it beautiful? Oh, yeah, a few showers, mate, but that doesn't worry me. Yeah, you're a backbone. That's why. You're going to be all right if you go over and watch this game of Bukba League and go to the races and that. The cow's going to miss you, man. Oh, they're just going to have to be all right, aren't they?

35:15Yeah, that's a spirit, man. And treat him mean, keep him keen, eh?

35:19Mike Minogue:Big Red, if you go over there, mate, what can you do to ruin this trip? Oh, just get obliterated, probably.

35:29Keyzie:Responsibly. Please, Big Red.

35:31Mike Minogue:Obliterate. Yeah, perfect, Big Red. You sound like the perfect candidate. You're in the draw, mate. You hold the line all right? Oh, cheers, fellas.

35:38Keyzie:Good on you, mate. Fellas, man. G'day, Dave, you mad bastard. How's life? It's amazing. How are you guys? Yeah, good, thanks. Dave, what do you do for a crust, mate? I do IT project management by Herd Nerd. Oh, yeah. Who's your favourite New Zealand warrior there, brother?

35:57Mike Minogue:Bay Royer which is Bay Royer son?

36:00Keyzie:Camp Arreira Camp Arreira who? Camp Arreira Camp Arreira yeah yeah nice nice Dave he's a really fast one eh

36:07Mike Minogue:yeah on the wing there yeah definitely is Jase you know your stuff Dave what can you do if you win this trip to go over there and ruin it for everyone man

36:16Keyzie:well when I have a few beers sometimes I like to kind of take off my clothes and run around that might help oh well I've got another question for you if you won who would you bring with you? It would be a toss-up between my oldest and my youngest son. Yeah, that would be. Oh, jeez. Yeah, true. Better do it, actually. Yeah, yeah, 100%. Good on you, Dave. You're in the draw as well, mate. Stay on the line. Pucks will saw you out. Thanks.

36:38Mike Minogue:Good on you, mate. That's a tough one. It is a tough one. You know, seeing the fella with the kid, lovely, or the guy from Waikato who's just going to get obliterated. Yeah, that is a tough one.

36:47Keyzie:But a tough call for that father. How do you choose? Well, that's right. Between two sons. Ooh, gnarly. What do you do? Yeah, that's a real tough one. Maybe some sort of rugby league quiz? Yeah, take a mate instead, I think. They'd both have to miss out, wouldn't they?

37:01Mike Minogue:Yeah. It's either both or none. Yes. It is, of course, an Export Ultra Grand Final Bear Garden Tour in Sydney. These boys have done these trips all around the world. Amsterdam, they went to the States too. They did. Austin, Texas in the south there. It sounded like an absolute hoot. So if you want to be part of this, keep an ear on Radio Hauraki and call 0800-HAURAKI when you hear that cue to call. Good stuff in the meantime. Here's a little bit of guns. Roses. The Hauraki Big Show. Weekdays from four on Radio Hauraki.

37:33Keyzie:Yes, indeed. The hives there on the Radio Hauraki Big Show this Monday afternoon. The time is 5.52. Let's talk sport.

37:42Mike Minogue:Are we doing sport chow? I thought this was... Oh, yeah, we can... We're sport. Yeah, it's sport. All right.

37:46Keyzie:We'll just... Who? Who? Ah! Sports! It's sport in the sense that we're going to talk about Cain Williamson, who you have to say it was a shock announcement over the weekend that he was retiring from international cricket with immediate effect. Yes. Immediate effect. So he played the first test at Lord's and then came out and said, yeah, he was done and dusted. So it was a bit of a shock to the system and bloody sad. Yeah, really sad. I think it's really fair to say that he was our greatest ever cricketer. Yeah. He was passionate about the game. By far our most successful cricketer. I think mid-50s his test average.

38:27Keyzie:Maybe even similar for his one-day record. 30s for his T20 record. He was a phenomenal player. 33 test hundreds or something like that. That's right. Average of 54.06 in tests. 9 ,500 runs. People talk about Martin Crowe. He's head and shoulders above Crowe. He averaged about 44, 45. The only other argument would be for Hadley. Oh, yes. Which the people could make. But, yeah, I think part of the, probably the sadness about it is it seemed to come out of the blue, but all the talk was that actually he didn't even want to go on the story. He thought he was done after the West Indies, but he was persuaded to go, and then it became clear to him that his heart just is not in it anymore.

39:10And I think probably, and he must feel like that, right, because at the end of this year, there's a tour to Australia. Yes. After that, there's a couple of tests against Sri Lanka back home in New Zealand where he would play in Hamilton, which would be where he grew up, and then also the Bay Oval, which is where he lives now. So an opportunity to say goodbye to the New Zealand cricket fans. And that's probably what's so weird about this. He's not injured, but there is no test where anybody can say goodbye to him. He's just pulled up stumps. He's done and dusted.

39:36Mike Minogue:He grew up in Tauranga, by the way. I played on the same rugby team as him. Very good second five. Is that right? Very good second five. I watched him very closely from the bench.

39:46Keyzie:Well, it was very surprising, as you say, that he called it in the middle of the tour in England. And I thought it must be some injury-related thing. But no, he sort of lost his passion. And if Kane Williamson was known for anything, it was his dedication to getting better and better and better. He loved training. He loved going to the nets. And the sort of inside goss was he sort of woke up one day and just didn't feel like going to the nets anymore. and so he just went, oh, well, that's me done and dusted. A very weird ending that we don't get to say goodbye properly at home. Yeah. But he was truly and is truly a legend of the game.

40:23Mike Minogue:When you think about Kane, though, he's done nothing but play cricket and be obsessed with cricket for the best part of 30 years. Yes. Because he's in his mid-30s now, and since he can hold a bat and swing it, that's all he's been obsessed with. So 30 years, that was the difference between him and everyone else was while everyone was doing this or that, he was in the nets just doing the same shot over and over and over and over and over. And it sounds pretty boring if you ask me and if you ask most people, but that was what made him so brilliant.

40:50Keyzie:And also, you know, when he played county cricket and played other international teams, he was famous for being in the air of all their good batsmen. He always wanted to get information about how to be better, what they did, what their process was. So he was an absolute legend, is an absolute legend. Just a shame we don't get to say goodbye at home, I guess. We've got the memories, though, Jase. Yeah, we do, mate. We do. And probably my favourite memory will be him and Ross Taylor being out in the middle together, getting the winning runs in the World Test Championship, the inaugural that we won.

41:21I'm so glad that he got that title. I hear rumours they're going to now turn that into a statue outside the Basin Reserve, which would be a nice touch. And I heard somebody else say, and I thought it was a good point, he would be one of the very, very few cricketers in history to retire and not have a single hater. True. I cannot hate Kane Williamson. He's a hell of a bloke and a hell of a cricketer. Shame to see him go, but what a career.

41:44Keyzie:Well, he epitomized that sort of New Zealand kind of humble fella, didn't he? He was never a big, you know, he wasn't a David Warner sort of leaping in the air. No. Raise his bat very quietly. Thanks, everyone. And then get back into it.

41:58Mike Minogue:I wouldn't have minded a bit more of that from him. Just a touch more.

42:01Keyzie:Nah, man. He was who he was.

42:03Mike Minogue:Yeah. A legend. I still vividly remember going to the airport. after they came home from the 2015 World Cup final after that amazing semi, and then this is the ODI World Cup, came home, I was like first on the ground there working for Crowd Goes Wild. Big interview. Kind of knew him and knew his family from growing up. And he was just so serious. I had like two, three questions ready to go. Kind of flat batted them. And it was just like really awkward. Right. And I wouldn't have minded just like a bit of like, you know, just a bit of oomph. But that's what made him who he is. Yeah, totally.

42:37Keyzie:Good on you, Cain Williamson. You're a champion. Now, listen, coming up after 6 o 'clock, jeez, I had a very spooky thing happen to me today with old John Campbell. Oh, wow. Spooky.

42:51Mike Minogue:The Hauraki Big Show with Jace, Mike and Keezy. Tune in weekdays at 4 on Radio Hauraki.

42:57Keyzie:Welcome back, you massive backbones. Hope your Monday's going along very pleasantly indeed. You're listening to The Big Show, incidentally, brought to you by Ree Burger.

43:06Mike Minogue:Serving good times and good food, dine-in or takeaway Reburger today. Oh, yum.

43:12Keyzie:Oh, this is so good because it's Reburger. Yum. Yeah, true. An oldie but a goodie, that one. What's for tea there, Jase? Bang Bang Chicken. Yum. Yeah, man. What makes it Bang Bang? Well, I actually, because we bought it in a bag, and I said to my wife, A bag-o chicken. A bag-o chicken. It's got all the ingredients in the bag. It's delicious. And I said to my wife, actually, we should just make it and find a recipe for it. Well, because, you know, maybe it's really simple. It kind of was. It was like mayonnaise. It was a very weird combination of ingredients. Mayonnaise? Mayonnaise, yeah. It was quite a big part of it.

43:53Keyzie:Fish sauce? No, no fish sauce. So, yeah, bang, bang chicken on a bed of couscous with roasted vegetables.

44:00Mike Minogue:Is it a split chicken? No.

44:03Keyzie:What, is it a gutted chicken? Hopefully it's been gutted, yeah. Yeah, nice. Like sad. What are you having for dinner, Mogi? It's a good question, Keezy. We've got a couple of food bag type situations there. I saw there was some, might have been some terakihi. Maybe it was some snapper. So I'm going to have to eat that before it goes off.

44:21Mike Minogue:Snapper? Snapper. Yeah, so I'm not too sure. We'll find out when I get through the door, mate. Some sort of fish. But I tell you what, fellas, it won't be long after that I'll be heading off to bed. Nice. Because old Mogi's suffering. Mogi's hung over for everyone. We haven't spoken about that, have we? No, we haven't. And I'm mostly tired because I went to bed. This is the thing. I was home by 7. I was in bed at 9, but then I was awake at 11.30, and I didn't go back to sleep, so I'm boogered. Yeah. But, man, I got through some darts. Yeah, good on that. That's good stuff, mate. What are you eating tonight, Keezy?

44:55Mike Minogue:My wife is at home, and she is making pita breads with harissa chicken and duck. Oh, how do you say that? Ducker, salads, and pickled red onion. I asked. Butterfly chicken? It better be, I see. I basically said better be. I think it might be like oven-baked thigh or something, which you then take out and pull apart and put on the pitters, but I'm not sure. Sounds good, though. Thank you.

45:17Keyzie:No, it sounds really delicious. Hey, let's get into the tunes again, shall we? The Offspring.

45:24Mike Minogue:The Hauraki Big Show. Weekdays from four on Radio Hauraki.

45:28Keyzie:Green day there on the Radio Hauraki Big Show this Monday. evening, the time is 6.26.

45:34Mike Minogue:Fellas, in 10 days, Thursday June 25th, that is Thursday next week from 6am onwards, the entire Hauraki team will be broadcasting live for Day in Loo, raising funds and awareness for bowel cancer in New Zealand. If you'd like to donate, text Loo to 3483, we'll hit you with a link and if you'd also like to check your own symptoms, because it's very treatable if caught early, head to dayinloo.co.nz that is dayinloo.co.nz and we will be broadcasting at the top of the Sky Tower. Fellas, I need your help. As you guys know, I've got a cat. Oh, yeah. It's called Birdshit Chris. Birdshit Chris. It actually came with that sting.

46:16Really? When we picked it up, it already had that sting.

46:18Mike Minogue:I preferred Tinker, to be honest. If I had to choose between your two pets so far. Yeah, but I'll tell you what. The advantage that Birdshit Chris has got over Tinker is that she's not dead. because Tinker, for all of her positive attributes, is dead Keezy. So comparing the two, it's like apples and oranges. It's chalk and cheese. Now, I was out in the backyard yesterday doing a bit of Renos and that, hanging out the washing. That's not really Renos. And I put the washing there on a clothes horse, two clothes horses we've got. I've got a stable of clothes horses there, Keezy. I heard of them. But I was putting that on the lawn there to try and catch some of that winter sun, and what do I see all over the lawn but dozens of cat steamers.

47:10This cat's not even trying. It's just dropping, because a cat will normally bury a poo. Yes. They want to hide their existence from other cats around so that they don't know that they're there, you know? But this cat is just doing more steamers more often, more obviously, than Tinker. You ever used to do? Your old dog. Your old dog there.

47:33Keyzie:Well, you're totally right. What, about Tinker? No, cats are genuinely or generally way more meticulous in terms of covering up their poos. Because with Jizz at home, my cat, she spends like 20 minutes covering her poos in the litter. And it's like, she's got a problem, man. She's overly like that. So for a cat to just randomly drop steamers everywhere is very odd behaviour. Yeah. Well, I don't think it's random. I think it's every time she needs to do a steamer, she does one.

48:13Mike Minogue:So, Jase, what was the name of your cat? Jizz.

48:18Keyzie:You know they often say also, and it's just occurred to me, that pets are often like their owners. That's what I was thinking. And you are notorious for your five or six steamers a day. Yeah, and you don't hide them either. But only two or three of them on the lawn. Right, yeah. But she doesn't have the options that you have. No, that's true. Well, as far as she's concerned, she does, because she spent most of her early life taking dumps on my bed, if you remember. Yes. And urinating all over my bed as well, up to three times a week. So I don't really know what to do because it's bloody disgusting.

48:55We had the guy comes over to mow the lawns today, so that sort of sorted it out. So maybe I just need to get the guy over to mow the lawns every day. Yeah.

49:04Keyzie:Well, no, you do what you did with Tinka and your daughter. You say, you wanted a cat? Here's the responsibilities. Yes. Thank you. You're on poo watch. I could rub her face in it. The cat? No. Totally.

49:26Mike Minogue:That's not weird. Here's Muse. The Hauraki Big Show with Jase, Mike and Keezy. Tune in weekdays at four on Radio Hauraki.

49:36Keyzie:Pixie's here on the Radio Hauraki Big Show this Monday evening. The time is 6.37. Fellas, let's give out some advice.

49:47Mike Minogue:Meet PattyNips69 at gmail.com. Get in touch with the fellas. Do get in touch. It's a great way to get yourself a prize if we read it on the show. It's 100 % anonymous as well, and it is a real email address. MeetPattyNips69 at gmail.com. Great stuff, man. You don't want to yell anything or you're all gee? No, no, I'm all good. Fellas, today's question comes in from Anonymous Oh yeah G'day fellas, Anonymous here I've just got a job again after a stint of unemployment and casual odd jobs Now my income's a bit more consistent, I've decided to get a gym membership This was also driven by some subtle jabs from my miso on my pudginess I was wondering if you fellas had any secret tips to get as fit and chiseled as old mogi Everything from exercise, diet and staying consistent I want to be bursting out of my white t-shirt in a good muscly guy way not spilling out cheers yeah yeah yeah anonymous nah nah I got no advice Moggy well I'm an absolute sack I haven't been to the gym for five months but I'm still paying my gym membership yes that's the key because what I'm sort of all about is I'm like oh you know what I'm going to do I'm going to start tomorrow yes I did that over the weekend I was like got to go to the gym got to go sauna and then I said to my wife I'm not going I'm not going was that yesterday yeah What'd you do instead?

51:09Okay, Monday. Drank all day. And punched art. Drank all day and smoked art. And let me tell you, it was magnificent. Bit more fun than a gem. It was, but yeah. And then once you get back into it, I think where I've got into what it is, don't go too hard on it. Because you can go too hard on it, you know, and become obsessive. And the next thing you know, your missus is fuming. Because you're never home. She's been calling you a fat sack. And then you're never home anymore.

51:37Keyzie:And she's like, I miss your fat sack.

51:39Mike Minogue:Yeah. I remember you saying, wasn't it a lot of it about calorie deficit stuff? Yeah, if you want to lose weight, yeah, you've got to be in a calorie deficit, Kesey. So you've got to burn more than you put in. So how many calories does the average male need? Let's say 23, 2400 a day just to get around the place. So if you drop that down to, if you're only giving yourself 1700. Wow. Plus you're exercising. And then you eat foods that make you full for longer, is that right? Make you feel fuller, longer protein. You want to be high in proteins. Anyway, this is all sort of pretty boring stuff. How many?

52:11But I would go, just get into the habit of going. You'll feel good. I reckon it takes two weeks before you see a result. And then once you see a result, then you keep on going. But most people will give up in that first two weeks.

52:23Keyzie:How many calories do you reckon you're pumping a day, Keezy?

52:27Mike Minogue:I love how I'm pumping them. Like, I don't just consume them like the normal food. I pump them. You are just pumping them into yourself. I don't know. Well, I very rarely have breakfast. Yeah, right. That's good. And then I eat lunch at sort of one or two o 'clock in the afternoon. Do you have a little snack before that though? No. You're not eating all the way to one or two. I have a coffee and drink water. Is that right? Most days, yeah. That's good. Unless I've got like a podcast or something that I have to do in the morning that requires brain power, then I'll have a cereal or a porridge or something.

52:55Mike Minogue:I don't know. But then I always have a big lunch and a big dinner. So I reckon, I don't know, 4 ,000? What about you, Jase? Like what, 300? You have a cracker with a tomato on it. And then you come in here and steal chips every day from the ACC and eat those. Those would be like 2 ,000 calories, wouldn't they? That would be plenty.

53:13Keyzie:Inaccurate. Yeah, well, I was, because I remember when I was getting a bit obsessed with the gym, and this is a long time ago, and I was shocked.

53:22Mike Minogue:Must be pre this show.

53:23Keyzie:Because it was like a coffee, a latte, it was like 600 calories or something. And I was like, what? Yeah. And you go to the gym and you burn like 300 calories and you go, oh. So if I'm having 10 coffees a day That's 6 ,000 calories How many calories do you reckon that peanut butter milkshake of yours is? That would be pumping it Because they do the whipped cream on top as well Are you kidding? Do they? Yeah It is so good man But at the same time man It's all about balance I would be concerned that your missus doesn't love you the way that you are That is an issue too I would cancel the gym membership And break up with her

54:02Mike Minogue:Back paddock the relationship. Absolutely. Yeah. Shock and fast. Don't go to the gym, yeah. Body shaming. Dump your muscles. Not cool, man. Yeah, man. Not cool. Hey, don't forget, meet paddyknap69 at gmail.com if you ever need advice and you could win a prize. The Hauraki Big Show. Weekdays from four on Radio Hauraki.

54:25Keyzie:Well, there you go, you mad bastards. That's The Big Show done and dusted this Monday evening. The podcast outro is basically a bonus podcast the fellas do. It's kind of a warm-up to the show. We always do it before we start the show, and you can get that wherever you get your podcasts.

54:42Mike Minogue:That's true, man. We do it every day, so if you enjoy the show, why not check it out? Search Haraki Big Show if you get your potties. Here's a clip of today's one, Jase. Today we discuss one of your favourite movies. Get him! Get him!

54:51Keyzie:Get him! I was watching this old movie today with Sean Connery and Michael Caine, and it was horrifically racist. Really?

55:01Mike Minogue:That's why you watch it. You're talking about the good old days. Daniel Dravot and Peachy Karahan, two former British soldiers in India, decide to travel to Khafrestan, where no white man has ventured in a long time and rule as kings. Wow. I feel like you typed into ChatGPT a whole lot of things and then said what kind of movie would... It was my dream movie.

55:27Keyzie:That's what happened, eh, Jase? I have to say the chemistry between Michael Caine and Sean Connery is very good. Really? They really came across as good old chums. Right. Good old chums. What about all the racist stuff? Yeah, I mean, that was shocking. It was terrible.

55:44Mike Minogue:But they were good chums. Mogi, you're off to bed. Probably, man. I'll go home and have some dinner. Got to tidy the house a little bit, to be honest. Yeah. But, yeah, she'll definitely be an early one tonight. I am looking forward to it. Finally got the flannelette sheets on the bed. Yes, nice. I haven't been doing that. It's been bloody warm. Too bloody warm. Middle of winter, man. Middle of winter, Keezy. What's that about? Have you got your flannel sheets on, man? I don't have flannel sheets. Do you not? No, we've just got the cotton. But we put the warmer duvet on. Oh, yes. We've got a clipped together duvet that has, you know, one bit of duvet in it is for summer.

56:19Yeah, we used to have one of those.

56:21Mike Minogue:And the other one's for winter, and then you clip them together when winter's coming. But it's nice and big. And you wear your onesie to bed anyway, so your massive onesie.

56:27Keyzie:Plus I wear my nightie. And you've got that buttoned up back door.

56:30Mike Minogue:I've got that buttoned up back door, but to be honest, man. It's usually unbuttoned? Spends more time down than it does up.

56:38Mike Minogue:My back door there. That must be a real admin nightmare at midnight for you. Nah, I've got it done to a fine art. When you do it nightly like I do, Jase. Tonight I'm going to go home and watch Broken Wood. Oh, yeah. The episode from last night where apparently Jase's character played a huge role. I've never watched Broken Wood. I'm keen to watch it, and I'll be giving a review tomorrow on the show. I'm keen to watch it as well, but it's 90 minutes long, and I need to go to sleep. Yeah. Oh, stuff that. Really?

57:03Keyzie:Yeah.

57:03Mike Minogue:Yeah, fair enough, man.

57:05Keyzie:That's a movie. What are you doing tonight, Jase? I'm going to go home and have some Bang Bang Chicken.

57:12Mike Minogue:Good stuff.

57:13Keyzie:Bang Bang Chicken. Is that it? You're going to wear your new scarf on the way home? Yeah, man. It's very cosy and warm. My wife bought it for me from an op shop. Pretty cute. Thanks, man. Check out the podcast. Check out the Instagram. Till tomorrow.

57:31Keyzie:See ya.