FULL SHOW: The Shanghai Keyzie Steamer

5:10Jase:Yeah.

5:11Keyzie:Always something. I don't know that I've ever taken my car to get a warrant and there hasn't been something I've had to pay for.

5:20Jase:Yeah, but they see you coming from a mile away. I mean, I'm a backbone.

5:24Keyzie:But I'd be curious on 3483 how many people out there when they do a warrant of fitness, it just flies through. Because I'm picking the larger percentage of our audience never gets a warrant that's just tickety-boo, apart from Keezy, who's massively anal about cars.

5:40Mogey:I'm not massively anal about cars. I just know how to pick ones that aren't going to crap out. and also yeah I don't think I've it's only tyres with warrants for me that's it right okay the occasional like brake pad and stuff

5:52Jase:well I still get insurance if it's um if it's been crushed because it's been crushed I don't that's not good

5:57Mogey:I don't think so

5:58Jase:that's not good

5:59Mogey:I don't I don't think you will did they crush it in front of you did they

6:03Keyzie:yeah they just bought oh right okay they had like a oh mate that's

6:07Jase:can you get insurance when stuff packs up like that

6:09Mogey:yeah I'm pretty sure you can shit damn it How much was it insured for?

6:17Jase:40k? Damn it. 40? Mrs is never coming home. Oh, man. Shit. The Hauraki Big Show with Jase, Mike and Keezy. Tune in weekdays at 4 on Radio Hauraki.

6:35Keyzie:Audio slave there on the Radio Hauraki Big Show this Tuesday afternoon. We've got a bit of car warrant chat going on. Pugs just informed me he paid$220 for his last warrant. And as I was stating, I think I'd go further than that. I'd say 95 % of the time I never get a clear warrant. I always have, you know, always there's something to be done. Right. A lot of people have pointed out on 3483 that's because I buy shitters of cars. But that's not entirely accurate.

7:05Mogey:Well, hang on. So this is the first time. And remember, you've now had your Mazda for a year, right? You went to get a WAF and due to the shop being idiots, they actually damaged your car and it failed on having a blinker out or something, right? A blinker being out is one light bulb you can buy from Repco or SuperCheck for$7 and take three screws out and put them yourself. That's not a bad thing.

7:28Keyzie:Because Mogi made the comment that they can see me coming, and look, I get it. If you were to ask me anything about cars, I mean, you talk about stock cars, fill your boots. Anything you want to know, I can let you know. But just your standy, on-the-road car, I'm out of my depth. I don't know anything.

7:44Mogey:That you only know about stock cars but not regular. Yeah, I know.

7:47Keyzie:It's really weird.

7:48Mogey:I'm very specific in that. And can I just say, on Pugs' car, so he's driving a 1996 or something Suzuki. It was a 1997 Suzuki four-wheel drive that was his grandma's. That has done 250 ,000-plus Ks. He knows it's going to fail its warrant because it's quite an old vehicle. Right, okay. And your Mazda, it'll fly through, Jase. You'll be sweet as him.

8:07Keyzie:Well, unfortunately not, it would seem. But one of the people saying, you know, because there must be other people like me out there, surely. And do mechanics, are you saying that they see me and go, oh, what a massive tit this guy is. Let's just invent a few. Oh, your left gauge brake there. Your shock pads are a bit. Your shock pads.

8:30Jase:You know, are a bit shoddy there. Yeah. I don't know. I don't think it's when they see you. It's probably when you start chatting.

8:37Mogey:Oh, right. Then they think, oh, yeah, hang on a minute.

8:40Jase:Hang on a minute.

8:41Mogey:And when you pull your wallet out and it's full of, oh, sorry, RIP, your wallet, which was stolen yesterday.

8:46Keyzie:Yeah, if anyone's seen my wallet, can they text us on 3483? Carry on.

8:50Mogey:We'll just stick on this. But if they pull it out and they say it's full of dog squad money, they probably go, here we go. Yeah, that's an opportunity. Yeah, you fail WAFs because you buy cheap shit cars, you tight sons of bees. That's probably accurate. I'm running a 96 Corolla. Never failed a WAF. Cheers. You know, 96 Corolla. That's the thing.

9:05Jase:You get lucky, don't you, sometimes?

9:06Mogey:Wow, so just buying the right car.

9:09Jase:So you're saying I should buy a 1996 Corolla?

9:13Mogey:100%. Seriously, 100%.

9:15Jase:We'll also say we're 250 ,000 Ks on it.

9:17Mogey:No, I think you should spend some money and get one that's done less than 100 ,000. And it would last you a long time.

9:23Jase:Yeah, yeah. Well, both the Tita and the Aqua have got under 100 ,000 Ks on it.

9:27Mogey:No, I know. So I think 90s was like the prime era of Toyota Corollas. Yes, agreed. And then 2006 to 2012, weird era of dodgy stuff. Someone here has a 2005 Nissan Le Festa. It flew through the last three years, but it's just failed. Oh, right. Le Festa. Actually.

9:47Keyzie:I mean, seriously, man. Who thinks of these names? Le Festa. There it is. The brand new Le Festa. Uncle Le Festa. I had one great station wagon that my family loved that always passed its warrant. and then I got rammed up the arse on the motorway. And to me, it only seemed like minimal damage, but they went, no, we're not going to pay the insurance. Oh, you know, we'll just write it off. Don't worry about it. I was gutted about that.

10:14Mogey:Yeah, right. Yeah. Must have been a heavy impact.

10:17Keyzie:It was. It was a young lady on her phone and I could see her in my rear view mirror and I'd stopped and did doosh right up Hoardy J's butt.

10:26Jase:It's a real shame, man. It's a real shame. So, yeah, anyway, my Tita and my Aqua are both gone this year. If anybody's got anything out there, I'm in the market for a new car. Anything sort of 1983 to 88.

10:39Mogey:You laugh. You laugh. You laugh, but honestly, if you buy something.

10:44Keyzie:300 ,000 plus Ks. Yeah, exactly right. Yeah, yeah, yeah.

10:48Mogey:I reckon get something European. Remember, Jase, you'd be in a Peugeot right now if I didn't intervene. That's right. And that would have clapped out by now as well.

10:54Keyzie:Yeah, true.

10:55Mogey:But actually, what about if anyone's got any suggestions for a car for Mogi to buy, how much money have you got to spend, man?

11:00Jase:About three and a half grand. Sweet. 3483. The Hauraki Big Show with Jason Hoyt, Mike Minogue and Keezy.

11:11Keyzie:Yes, indeed, REM there on the radio. Hauraki Big Show this Tuesday afternoon, 4.36.

11:19Mogey:We've had some texts coming through on 3483 of car offers for Mogi. He needs a new car, both his Aqua, his Toyota Aqua, and his Nissan Tita. I am living the life. Yeah, man. You're living that radio drive show. I was dream. They've both been taken to the scrapyard now. Samogi's got some of that drive show money to spend, three and a half grand. He's in the market for a good car.

11:40Jase:But it's got to be good. Yeah. So I guess what I'm looking for is cameras, like reversing cameras and all that because it's a family wagon.

11:49Mogey:You can put that on afterwards.

11:50Jase:Real safe, you know. I still don't trust those. Primo stereo.

11:55Mogey:Yeah.

11:56Jase:Real mint stereo. Heated seats. Oh, yeah. And how much you got?

12:00Mogey:Three and a half grand.

12:01Jase:Yeah.

12:02Keyzie:There's nothing like a warm nuss in the middle of winter.

12:06Mogey:What about this one on 3483? G'day, guys. Just sold a 1997 Deu Cielo. Only 97 ,000K on it. It was my stepmums. Always in a shed, regular service. Had it for two years. Straight through every warrant. Wow.

12:20Jase:Okay.

12:21Mogey:Really? Yeah. How's it? Yeah. I don't think you should buy a late 90s Daewoo. No? Nah, definitely not.

12:26Jase:I don't know anything about Daewoo's.

12:28Mogey:I'll be honest with you.

12:28Jase:And can I just be. Daewoo's not good.

12:30Mogey:Is that racist? Well, what I'll do is I'll play the racism alarm just in case.

12:35Keyzie:Racism alert. Racism alert.

12:38Mogey:That feels like a, is that Korean? I'm not sure, but in the 90s, they certainly weren't making very good cars. Right. Daewoo, they're terrible.

12:45Keyzie:And can I just ask you something, fellas, with your car knowledge there? a phrase you hear often, one elderly owner.

12:54Mogey:Is that just BS? Well, it depends. If you're selling it, it wouldn't be.

13:01Mogey:It depends because if like the dream for a petrolhead like me is if you find a particular old car that is like a, I don't know, a petrolhead's dream, right? It might be an old Skyliner or an old Holden or whatever you're into, whatever it might be, and it's only been owned by an elderly person who's just looked after it and kept it in the shed, that is like a goldmine. Yeah, okay, good. That is, like, really hitting the jackpot. So all of that sounds good, the Daewoo. Well, hang on, what about this one? I can suss you a 2002 Honda Fit, little Honda hatchback, 195 ,000 K on the clock, doors and boot no longer lock, smells like a tinny house mixed with a football club rooms, will need two tyres for its next waft.

13:39Jase:Yeah, that's not going to do.

13:40Mogey:Nah? Nah, not that one.

13:41Jase:Nah, the other one sounds all good, because what is it? A Daewoo.

13:44Mogey:A Daewoo, Cialo. Yeah. I like the sound of that one. Lock it in, Eddie. Yeah, yeah, send your details and mail, you'll transfer the cash. Yeah, I'm pretty keen.

13:52Keyzie:Just while we're on it, fellas, you know, just putting stuff out there, I had my golf trundler stolen yesterday. So if anyone's on the market there can sort old Hoity J out for a new golf trundler, that'd be good. 3483's the number there, and whatever kind of deal we get, I'm sure old Hoity J can give you a bit of a nod nod, a bit of a wink wink.

14:12Jase:He's got Reeberg of Atra written all over it.

14:14Mogey:Yeah, and also just clarifying, Jase will pay with money. he won't try and pay for it by plugging it on our show. That's what you were thinking, right?

14:24Keyzie:No. Oh, this is especially for you, Mo. I love you, man. It's getting close, mate. It's getting close. It really is. Oasis, don't look back in anger. The Hauraki Big Show with Jason Hoyt, Mike Minogue and Keezy. Yes, indeed. Led Zeppin there on the radio. Hauraki Big Show this Tuesday afternoon. The time is 4.49. Let's Talk TV. What's on the telly with Mike Minogue?

14:56Keyzie:Yeah!

15:00Keyzie:What happened to the other stick you played yesterday?

15:02Mogey:Yeah, Pugs has obviously changed it out.

15:04Jase:Oh, that's a shame because it was really good.

15:05Mogey:It was obviously a one-time special.

15:07Jase:That's right. Well, I am quite pleased because it saves us explaining it at the top of every break that we would have to do then.

15:13Mogey:Yeah, and in fact, people that haven't heard it yesterday

15:16Jase:Now we're going to have to explain it to them. Yeah, you'll have to listen to yesterday's podcast wherever you get great podcasts. Hey, last night I watched another in the series, Trainwreck. Trainwreck is, I've done the cruise ship that went. Oh, with the poop cruise. The poop cruise, yeah. And I watched American Apparel last night, which was a clothing store that came out in the, let's say, early 2000s. I'm not really sure. Pretty hideous sort of stuff. but it sort of went against all of the super highly branded gear that was getting around like Von Dutch and all that sort of carry-on and it just had no branding at all.

15:54Jase:Within a pretty short time they had stores all over the world, they were pulling in$300,$400 million a year. The guy that was running it who was ahead of it was an absolute psychopath and he decided that they would continue to build more stores as the global financial crisis hit. Q Disaster Q Screaming Fitz on camera Q Being Naked around his employees Yeah Really good stuff from him It's definitely a three star If you've got nothing else to watch then give that a geese God there's some idiots out there but entertaining stuff

16:31Mogey:I was hovering over Poop Cruise last night on Netflix I've reviewed Poop Cruise Yeah I think I might have been I think I might have been away I can't remember but was it good? It's fine?

16:41Jase:I think it's fine Yeah, it's definitely fine. It's a three-star. It's horrendous.

16:45Mogey:Yeah, okay.

16:46Jase:Especially because you're about to go away, I think you'd enjoy it.

16:48Keyzie:Cool, okay. I found the people on it a bit whiny, to be honest. On the poop cruise? Yeah, yeah.

16:53Jase:Yeah, I mean, they were wading through centimetres of poos and wheeze. On the poop cruise? On the poop cruise. Let's not. You can review it tomorrow night, Kizzy. Yeah.

17:03Mogey:And I probably won't watch it.

17:05Keyzie:I started watching again The Sandman. Oh, yeah. And this is the storyline. The Sandman, a.k.a. Dream, the cosmic being who controls all dreams, is captured and held prisoner for more than a century. He must journey across different worlds and timelines to fix the chaos his absence has caused. Now, it's obviously fantasy we're talking about here. Joking. Can I just say, visually stunning. Visually stunning. And quite the cast of characters. And I really enjoy it. But then there's been a couple of stupid little things like a talking pumpkin head. That's where you draw the line. Yeah, I kind of do.

17:49Keyzie:And a talking bird, which sort of took away. The talking crow. Talking crow, yeah. It took away from everything. But actually, it's very entertaining and it's visually stunning. And I'm quite enjoying it, despite those sort of little knob jewels that sort of annoyed me a bit.

18:05Mogey:Where are you watching it? How many buzzies? Netflix. How many buzzies out of five? Three buzzies, I'd give it. Three.

18:11Jase:I'll go three and a half, four. I watched that when it came out. I enjoyed it a hell of a lot more than I thought I was going to. I'm not a fantasy freak. But, yeah, it's good.

18:20Keyzie:So just on that, Mogi, this is the second series that has come out. Oh, really? Yeah, yeah. So another six episodes.

18:26Mogey:Check it out. Just quickly, I watched another episode of Anthony Bourdain, Parts Unknown, where he travels around the world. Recently passed away a couple of years ago. Sadly. Very sadly. And I just have a massive appreciation for his style of travel documentary. He was in Sicily, right? Dream place, island off Europe. He got there and whilst he was diving down looking for octopus, someone was in the boat above with a bag of dead octopus throwing them in so that it could look like on TV they had found fresh octopus. Right. And his sort of script was, this sent me into a deep depression and if I wasn't on an island right now, I would be in my hotel room watching porn, taking a heavy amount of prescription drugs and getting steamed.

19:08Mogey:Yeah, yeah. And I was like, this is the most honest, outrageous stuff I have ever heard. Yeah. Yeah. And it was amazing. And the other interesting thing is Sicily is a place that people really want to go to and aspire to go. And this woman that lived there was like, 20 years ago, people were like, oh, why are you going to Sicily? It's terrible there. And now since like White Lotus, wasn't that in Sicily? Yeah. Now since then, everyone's like, oh, my God. I want to go. Yeah. Because it's all run by the mafia. It's crazy.

19:34Keyzie:Yeah. Yeah. It got to them in the end, Anthony Bourdain. It did, yeah. The false reality of television.

19:40Mogey:That's right. And you can watch all of them on YouTube, actually, which is great. But 80 % of the businesses there pay our extortion fees to the market.

19:47Keyzie:I only do market bang on YouTube there, Keezy. Hey, here's Marcy Playground. The Hauraki Big Show podcast. Marcy Playground there on the Radio Hauraki Big Show this Tuesday evening. Well, afternoon, 4.57. After 5 o 'clock, we've got a hypothetical to go through. and Keezy's going to give us an update on his bowel movement schedule that he's been trying to get right before he goes overseas. Is that Shat Chat?

20:14Mogey:No, it's not, Moggy, because we don't do that anymore.

20:17Jase:I tell you what, it feels like it might be time to bring it back.

20:20Mogey:No, look, it's a squeaky clean, because I don't want people to switch off because they think toilet chat's coming. It's a squeaky clean, it's just, yeah. It's Shat Chat? Yeah, it's Shat Chat, yeah. The Hauraki Beat Show with Jase, Mike and Keezy. Tune in weekdays at 4 on Radio Hauraki.

20:36Keyzie:You're welcome back, you're massive backbones. Hope you're surviving your Tuesday. You're listening to The Big Show, brought to you by Reburger.

20:43Mogey:Serving good times and good food. Dine in or take away Reburger today. Reburger. Yeah, boy. Reburger, b***h.

20:53Jase:Oh, I should have said that. So good. I was trying to think of that one. Was it handcrafted? Is that the other one?

20:58Mogey:One with the hammer. Yeah, yeah, yeah.

21:00Jase:I was trying to remember it and I just ran out. Yeah, if you just joined us, by the way.

21:03Mogey:Mike's trying to predict which one of the re-burger stings I'm going to play next.

21:07Jase:And then I get a$50 re-burger voucher. If he gets it right. Yeah, yeah. I've got one today, guys.

21:13Keyzie:Yeah, that's good, man. As soon as you get like four or five, I think you and I should go out on a date, Mogey.

21:19Jase:Yeah. You know, and just have a bit of a re-burger sesh. Oh, that's a good idea. Hey, sorry, I just want to follow up here. We were talking earlier on the show during the television segment, and you were talking about a show you're watching called The Sandman. I referred to a bird on that show as a crow. Someone's texted in here and said, Matthew is a raven, not a crow. Crying laughing emoji. Crying laughing emoji. And let me just say, there's no difference, right? A raven is a crow. Who cares?

21:55Mogey:Totally. Raven's slightly bigger, right?

21:59Jase:But what I like is the crying laughing emoji. It's like you are the biggest idiot on the face of the earth. Yeah, so you've got a raven and a crow mixed up.

22:07Keyzie:Because I remember you'll recall, fellas, when I went through this sort of, what was the name of the series of films? Oh, yeah. Beheadings. Oh, The Omen. The Omen. Of course, there were ravens and crows all over those bastards. Yeah. With their black eyes blinking their kesey. They do. Their eyes do blink. Oh, wow, and The Omen. Yeah.

22:27Mogey:Far out. That's so cool. Hey fellas Up next Bit of a hypothetical scenario You're going Involving Poisonous mushrooms Just because It's because it's topical at the moment Heard about that Yeah yeah you heard So good man

22:43Keyzie:Yeah man Hey here's Queen and David Bowie The Hauraki Big Show With Jason Hoyt Mike Minogue And Kesey Stone Temple Pilots here on the radio Hauraki Big Show This wet Tuesday Evening the time 15 minutes past 5

22:58Mogey:Fellas, not last night, night before, I watched that Murder by Mushroom documentary. Terrible documentary, by the way. It's on Channel 3. Check it out. And it just got me thinking of a hypothetical scenario. And this is 100 % hypothetical. We know that people died and it's a very sad story, of course. But I was just thinking, hypothetically, if you were inviting us around to dinner to feed us poisonous mushrooms, what would you make and how would you go about it? So hypothetically, if I wanted to kill you with mushrooms, how would I do it?

23:36Jase:How would you do it? Yeah, cool.

23:38Mogey:Maybe not as aggressively, but yeah.

23:40Jase:How would I kill you?

23:40Mogey:Well, I mean, it's a pretty aggressive thing to do to kill someone. No, totally, man, totally. 100 % Jase, you're so right. And that's the thing, man.

23:47Jase:You've got to think about that.

23:48Mogey:Because I think the way that that woman over in Aussie did, she made a beef wellington. Patterson. Miss Patterson. Robert Patterson. and the way she made a beef wellington and really cut them up fine, made it into a paste. And like a beef wellington's delicious. I would have eaten so much of that.

24:02Keyzie:I've never had one.

24:03Mogey:Oh. I would have – I think I'd make it into a pasta, like maybe something with mushroom in it like that, or a beef and mushroom pie with cheese homemade. Well, that's good. Yeah.

24:19Jase:Because you've got to make sure that people are going to eat it. Yes. Because if I'm trying to kill everyone at the table, You can't have anybody that's like, oh, no, I don't like pies. I don't like pies.

24:26Mogey:And also, you might not like mushrooms, right?

24:29Jase:Yes.

24:30Mogey:So something where it disguises it, I put the mushrooms in a pie, heaps of gravy, delicious steak, beautiful cheese on top. Yeah. I think that would be a winner. What about you guys?

24:37Keyzie:Yeah. Well, just on that, I mean, you mentioned pasta there. And I make just the primo chicken and mushroom pasta. 40J, best in the world, A number one. I mean, you could even ask my family that. You'd ask my girls. I don't. Yeah, I don't. And my wife. They would all attest to the fact that my creamy mushroom and chicken pasta is delish.

25:02Mogey:The best in the world, you were saying?

25:03Keyzie:Yes, definitely the best. 40J, best in the world, eh, number one. So you wouldn't have to worry, Moggy, about your scenario of people going, oh, I'm not really into that. Because it's the best in the world. Well, because it's the best in the world.

25:15Jase:Yeah, yeah, yeah.

25:15Keyzie:Bit of parmesan, bit of lemon zest, a bit of cracked pepper. How into it? Next minute.

25:20Mogey:Yeah, next minute. But maybe you're trying to kill us. Yes. And that would involve you inviting us around to a house, which you'd never do, so I'd immediately be suspicious. Yeah, true. Yeah, yeah. So I don't think that would work.

25:30Keyzie:Yeah. Would you guys bring a plate or something, some beersies? Yeah, I'll bring some beef and mushroom pie. I'll invite you around soon.

25:36Mogey:Beef and mushroom pie I'll bring around, man.

25:37Jase:Looking forward to it. What about you, Mo? I think I just, first of all, I've got to make sure that you accept the invitation. Yes. And I don't think you guys are going to come around unless there's an opportunity to get on the hammer. 100 % that would work. So I just say, hey, guys, you want to come over? We'll have a few beers and we'll watch the Warriors win the grand final this year. Yeah, sure. Okay? And what would make it better than smashing a couple of handfuls each of Blue Meanies, Magic Mushrooms? Right? Right. And then you're like, yeah, yeah, keen as. Like, LDJ's keen as. Keezy's. You're like, Keezy, like, oh, I don't know.

26:10Jase:I've never had him before. So you've got to be a bit pre-keez. And I'm like, that's all good, man. You don't have to have the man, sweet as. I'm not putting any peer pressure on you. Yeah, because you're a good guy. Yeah, yeah, yeah. And then it's like I crush them up and I put them in your drink.

26:24Jase:And next thing you know, you are absolutely climbing the walls. Yeah, you're off your head, right? Yeah, yeah, yeah. You're off your head now. Right. And I've got an apartment. It's on the 97th floor. And old Keezy says to Mogey, he goes, Mogey, I reckon I can fly.

26:39Mogey:Why don't you show us, Keezy?

26:43Jase:That's how I'd do it. But that was only if I wanted to kill you, right? That was a hypothetical.

26:48Mogey:Yeah, but wouldn't you just put, when you're putting the mushrooms in my drink, wouldn't you put the poisonous ones in my drink? What am I doing at this time?

26:55Keyzie:Am I just like nudes strutting around the apartment? What's going on?

26:58Jase:Yeah, it's just a standard night for hoity jizz.

27:00Keyzie:Yeah, yeah. The Hauraki Big Show podcast. Yes, indeed. Jimmy Hendrix here on the radio. Hauraki Big Show this Tuesday evening. The time is 5.26 and it's time for a show meeting. Show meeting! Show meeting! Show me the meeting. Show meeting is now in progress.

27:22Mogey:That's right, guys. I'm calling this show meeting. A bit of an update on the way things work around here. So you've got Jase, you've got Mike, you've got Chris. We are all in the main studio. We all have our own microphones. Pugsan has written to the technology department and has requested for his microphone in the B studio to be connected so that not only can we hear him in our ears, but also the listeners can hear him as well. Pugsan, come in. Pugsan, are you there? Hello, guys. Can you hear me?

27:51Keyzie:Wow. That's great. That is so good. That's good, right?

27:55Mogey:Thanks for having me. Yeah, yeah, yeah. So I think if Pugsan is now able to just sort – I've got a fader for him, a volume switch. Yeah. So I can sort of drop him and bring him in when we need to. But I think we should establish some ground rules or something. Yeah, sure.

28:08Keyzie:Can you just fade him down for a second there, Keezy? I mean, I don't know how you guys feel about that. I'm finding it a bit intrusive.

28:15Jase:The thing is a bit weird that that's happened without me having any knowledge of it. Yeah, I mean.

28:19Keyzie:Jason, do you know about it? No, I didn't know about that, Mogi. And you know what I mean? It's just. Well, I mean. I mean, it's a bit cool. I mean, he's basically.

28:26Mogey:Guys, you know I can still hear you. Sorry, sorry. You put it down a bit. Sorry, there it is.

28:30Keyzie:A little bit further there. No, neither, Mogi, to answer your question. And I just think it's a bit ballsy of old Pugsar because he's strutting around like a peacock as it is.

28:41Mogey:Yeah, I know. And he's got his new yellow shirt on today and he is strutting around. You're right, Jase. but I just think quite often we'll be like, oh, Pugs, what was the name of that thing? And then he won't be able to, we'll ask him, we can hear him, and then we have to pause, listeners can't hear him, and then we have to wait and then say what he has said. Whereas now he can just sort of, Pugs, you there, man? Yeah, no, I'm here, guys. Yeah, great, I've dropped him again. So, you know what I mean? I'm pretty sure it's not a, hey, I want to be an announcer on the big show thing.

29:07Jase:Oh, he does, though. I don't know if the juice is worth the squeeze, to be honest with you.

29:11Keyzie:Yeah, I'm hearing what you're saying. He's still down on the thing there, is he? No, sorry, I hit him up. Yeah,

29:20Keyzie:Mogey, agreed.

29:20Mogey:Why don't we trial it? Can we just trial it, see how it goes? I feel like we have.

29:26Keyzie:Yeah, I feel like we've already had a bit of a tutu with it and it's not working for me, that's for sure.

29:32Jase:The problem we've got with it is the audience, they just don't like it. Now, it doesn't matter what I want and what Jase wants. Sure. The audience just aren't, they're not into it. they're not liking it. But how do we know?

29:45Mogey:I feel like you've just made that up.

29:46Jase:That's a vibe. Are you getting the same vibe, Jason? Oh, very much so. Well, you've been in radio as long as we have, Keezy. Yeah, four years, okay. You start to get a vibe.

29:54Keyzie:Yes, and can I just make the point too, the delicate balance of quality radio. Yes. And you shove Pugson in there. Yeah. You know, he might start off with giving us, like, info and stuff like that, but he'll crowbar other stuff in there without fail when he gets an opportunity.

30:11Mogey:All I'm saying here is why don't we just give it a go and if he starts just piping in randomly with stuff when we're not really asking. Can I just say, guys, I reckon the vibe's actually... No, you can't.

30:21Jase:Can I just say, the reason why that doesn't work in there, that microphone, is because we had people previously chipping in willy-nilly out there, right? So, you know, you've got to be careful. Can I say that? Yes, you can. You've got to be very careful. Okay, so what do we do then? Can you put them up again?

30:40Keyzie:Yeah. Are you there, Pugs? Oh, g'day, fellas. We are so into it, man. Oh, really?

30:46Jase:Me and Jase would love to have you on board, but Keezy's pointed out. He's not happy. Yeah, yeah. The audience aren't into it, man. The thing about it is I can still hear you guys even though I'm not talking or you bring my mic down and it doesn't turn my headphones down. Yeah, well, don't be too hard. But I reckon the vibe's actually all good.

31:00Keyzie:Don't be too hard on Keezy. I mean, he's protecting his ground there. We're all a team here. So, Mogi and I, keen as, mate. But old Keezy, not happy. Sorry about that, Pugson. It's all good, man.

31:16Mogey:It's all good. Actually, no, I've had a change of heart, man. Let's keep it. Yeah. Yeah. Let's do that. The Hauraki Big Show with Jason Hoyt, Mike Minogue and Keezy.

31:26Keyzie:Oh, yes indeed. Black Sabbath there on the radio. Hauraki Big Show this Tuesday evening now. After 6 o 'clock, as always on a Tuesday, what's on the dinner with me, Keezy?

31:36Mogey:That's right. Get your phone out. Text me right now, 3483. What are you having for dinner? We'll read it out on the radio. Say your name as well, and you can win a$50 Reburger voucher. That is What's for Tea to 3483. Also, fellas, have you heard about this wild West Coast weekend we're giving away? Oh, man. Yeah, I have.

31:54Jase:Yeah, yeah. We've been...

31:56Mogey:Montice, born of the wild. Sorry, what was that, bogey, man?

32:02Jase:We've been inundated by people that are wanting to get involved with is going fishing for stags. Yes. Which we were talking about on the show yesterday. So, yeah, it's a hell of a competition, isn't it? You can win a trip down to the West Coast here, and you can do all sorts of stuff. There is the heli hunting side of things. There's obviously fishing trips. Skydiving. Yeah, shark surfing as well. They've started up that down there. What do you do with that? They've got huge bloody sharks down there. Great whites. Huge bastards they are there. You can go down there. They're so big that you can jump out of your boat and surf them.

32:36Jase:Oh, wow. Actually surf them. It's so good, man. And they don't mind? Oh, they hate it. They hate it. So you've got to be pretty good on your feet.

32:44Mogey:Right, and this is a prop of a company that's been set up.

32:46Jase:Well, it's about to open. I've invested in it a little bit. Oh, wow. Yeah, it's innovative. It hasn't happened anywhere else in the world. This will be a first time. That's so good. Yeah. How much have you put into it? About 180K. Just into the research side of it and things, you've got to make sure because it's the website. Yeah. Insurance, man. Jeez. I can imagine. Yeah. So what we've done is, well, that's what we've done, is rather than having the insurance, we just get everybody to sign a waiver. Just on the off chance that something happens. Yeah, they topple over or something. Yeah, yeah, yeah.

33:18Jase:If you're unco and the shark gets a hold of you, well, that's not our fault. No, exactly. It's because you're unco.

33:25Mogey:But, hey, Montice will be stoked about this. Them and the West Coast Pie Company, they're the official sponsors of Bear and Pie July. And if you're interested in winning a$5 ,000 trip to the West Coast where you can pick what you do, maybe it is shark surfing, text the word

33:39Keyzie:wombat tossing

33:42Mogey:text the word wild to 3483 can you not interrupt me in the middle of that and then say you're going to toss off a wombat

33:49Jase:yeah that's not cool man

33:51Mogey:that is yeah text wild to 3483 the Hauraki Big Show with Jace, Mike and Keezy tune in weekdays at 4 on Radio Hauraki

34:03Keyzie:it is the biggest it is the biggest it's official families and numbers have just come through worldwide. The Big Show, the biggest radio show in the world, not just New Zealand. What's that based on? On figures. Oh really? Yeah, on stats. Actual figures or vibe figures? No, actual figures, numbers. Really? And the thing about numbers fellas, is they don't lie. Nah. No. Alright? By the way, the Big Show is brought to you by Reburger.

34:28Mogey:That's right. Beef, chicken, vegan and vegetarian options are available. Reburger is redefining the norm. Reburger.

34:35Jase:I think I'm probably going to go with that one that says handcrafted. Chips. Damn it. Chips is a good one. So close though. Chips is a good one.

34:42Mogey:Yeah, if you've just joined us, Mogi's now guessing which of the stings I'm going to play next. Yeah. And since we've been doing it properly, he's 0 from 2.

34:50Jase:Yeah.

34:52Mogey:Disappointing, actually. Not good. But hey, thanks to Reburger.

34:54Jase:Hey, guys, I've got an update for you. You'll remember earlier on in the show when we completely butchered a break, which was going to be one of our greatest. It was. I was going to be talking about my daughter and all the birthday parties she went to on the weekend. when the very daughter I was talking about, who's in the studio with me, us, in the studio with us, tapped me on the shoulder to tell me she urgently needed to go to the toilet. I, of course, ignored her because I'm a backbone.

35:20Keyzie:Yeah, good.

35:21Jase:But then she came back again, and the look of desperation in her eyes suggested I might want to take her off to the bathroom there.

35:27Mogey:That's what's interesting about kids, right, is I remember this. Like, you know you need to go to the toilet, you know you need to, but you just ignore it, ignore it, ignore it until you have to go.

35:33Jase:And this is what happened because I wanted to avoid exactly that. She's been in here a lot of times. She's never been an issue. She's been a nightmare today. She keeps on telling me she's hungry. Next thing I know, she's interrupting a break so that she can go to the toilet. I mean, what are we doing here?

35:46Mogey:She's trying to crowbar herself into the show. We've got enough of that with the pugs. Exactly.

35:50Jase:We've got a real pugs issue happening here, and I'm not happy about it. But, yeah, what annoys me is I had asked her probably 10 minutes prior whether she needed to go to the toilet, and she said she didn't. And it turns out that's a lie. That's a lie. Yeah, right. So what do we do with that?

36:06Keyzie:Well, I blame the parents. It always comes back to the parents, Moggy.

36:12Mogey:You're right, actually.

36:12Jase:It's a straight line back to the parents. No excuses, man. Yeah. I guess it's your wife's mother. It's her mother, man. What, Jason?

36:20Keyzie:Remember, what's on the dinner? 3, 4, 8, 3. The Hauraki Big Show with Jason Hoyt, Mike Minogue and Keezy. ACDC there on the radio, Hauraki Big Show. Now, you're probably aware if you regularly listen to the show that old Keezy, he's off to Europe.

36:38Mogey:Yeah, Friday midnight.

36:39Keyzie:Yeah, Friday midnight.

36:40Mogey:Very excited, fellas, hanging out for it.

36:42Keyzie:And he's been talking about how he's been trying to change his bowel schedule.

36:46Mogey:Do you want me to explain this? No, no. Yeah, that's it.

36:49Keyzie:I was just laying the groundwork, Keezy.

36:51Mogey:No, totally, but what happens is when you lay the groundwork, you blow it out of proportion and make me sound like a sicko usually.

36:57Keyzie:Is that what happens, really?

36:59Mogey:To be honest, at that time it didn't happen.

37:01Jase:No. Well, you didn't give him a chance to finish. Yes, I know. That's why I stopped.

37:05Mogey:Because I knew it was going off the rails. So, yes, what I'm trying to do is change my schedule. I'm very regular. Every morning, coffee, wake up. Usually I can go straight away, but I'll have a coffee, and then I'll really go. Because I like to just get in there, get it done, get out. Bish, bosh, bam, done. I'm so regular, however, that I'm trying to change it in anticipation for my travel plans. Because it's a good 12 hours difference, pretty much, give or take an hour. And what I don't want to do is, because I'm one of those guys that doesn't like using the bathroom for number twos, away from my house.

37:36Mogey:I have never gone here at NZME, and I've worked here for eight years, seven years. Right. Ever. I hate it.

37:41Keyzie:Is that because... Great, great, great, great.

37:44Mogey:What?

37:45Keyzie:Just the fact that they're abominations. Yes. And you're very conscious of people walking in.

37:51Mogey:Oh, mine. Yeah. No, the toilet's hair are an abomination. Oh, right, okay. That's disgusting. And I just like to do it at home where it's nice and safe and clean. This is great stuff. Is it?

38:03Jase:It is because there are people like you out there. 100%. My wife's the same. That have got an issue with doing that. I had a mate when I was growing up. We went away for a school camp for three days. He didn't take a dump for the entire three days. That's amazing. The prospect of using the long drive, he just couldn't do it.

38:21Mogey:So in that situation, I would 100 % use it, right? Because it's just like as soon as you say you're going camping for three days.

38:29Jase:You can brace yourself for it, Keezer. You psych yourself up.

38:31Mogey:You psych yourself up for it. Whereas the situation I'm facing is what I don't want to do, and I had to do it once. We went via Shanghai to Europe a few years ago for our honeymoon, and I had to use this terminal toilet, which had seen so many arses, and it was disgusting. So now what I'm trying to do is change it so that I go at night. I want to go at like finish here at home. I want to be going at 7.30 p.m. on Friday.

38:51Jase:But what is it you think would happen if you were to use a public? What is it you're scared of happening? You just think that they're dirty.

38:57Mogey:It's just disgusting and gross. And so what I'm trying to do is just swap it so that show finishes at 7 on Friday. I'm home by 7.30. I'm using the toilet. I'm having a shower, not because of the toilet, but because it's the last shower I'll have for 24 hours of travel. And so I'm just trying to change it. However, I am struggling. This is the real crux of the situation. I'm really struggling to change my schedule. Today, 2 p.m. is as far as I made it. Today I was like, I'm going to hold on. Right. 2 p.m.

39:27Keyzie:I've got a phrase just going over and over in my head, and I can't get it out now, and it's the Keezy Shanghai steamer. Well, they had to shut down the airport.

39:40Mogey:Well, the whole Shanghai airport. One of the biggest ones in China, they shut it down. Did they?

39:48Jase:That's shocking.

39:49Keyzie:Don't say, did they?

39:52Jase:Oh, my God, that is a shocker. I can't believe you ever told us that story.

39:56Keyzie:That is so good, Keezy.

40:01Mogey:Keezy. Yeah, cool. Cool. So what were you saying? I'm going by Singapore this time. I just don't want to shut that airport down.

40:17Mogey:This is good stuff, fellas.

40:22Here's Pearl Jam. The Hauraki Big Show with Jason Hoyt, Mike Minogue and Keezy. Guns.

40:32Keyzie:Rose is there on the radio. Hauraki Big Show this Tuesday night, but right now it's time for.

40:39Mogey:Hey, guys. Text here from Steve. What's on the dinner? With me, Keezy. What's on the dinner? Where you text in what you're having for tea. you guys ever call it tea? Yeah. My parents call it tea.

40:55Jase:It was tea when I was growing up. Yeah, same. Yeah, yeah. Maybe we should change the name of it.

40:59Mogey:And then supper, what's for tea in New Zealand? No, what's on the tea? What's on the tea with me, Keezy? No, we're not changing it again. But when I was a kid, tea was dinner and supper was something you'd have just before bed, like a Milo.

41:13Jase:Yeah, we didn't have supper.

41:14Mogey:Nah, I didn't have tea. You're the man, Jase.

41:23Mogey:That's not true. You had tea.

41:25Jase:Quitty J.

41:25Mogey:Come on, man. You had dinner growing up. Don't be silly. Come on, man.

41:28Keyzie:Do you want to get on with it, Keezy, or what? I feel like you're blustering.

41:32Mogey:Lots of texts here on 3483. If you wouldn't mind, just let me get to those. G'day, fellas. Pete from Christchurch here. Holy hecka. Pete Sampras.

41:42Keyzie:Oh, damn it. I was just about to say that.

41:44Mogey:Pete Sampras from Christchurch. Well done, Mogey. 1-0 to Mogey. Yes. Because that's what this is now. Oh, 15-0. Oh, because it's tennis. Yeah. I'm going to be 15 love.

41:55Keyzie:Yeah. Shit.

41:58Mogey:G'day, guys. Pete from Christchurch. Mrs. is making fish tacos.

42:04Jase:What's her name?

42:05Mogey:Doesn't say.

42:06Jase:What's his name?

42:07Mogey:Pete Sampras.

42:08Jase:Oh.

42:09Keyzie:And his partner is making fish tacos. No, his missus. His missus is making fish tacos, yeah.

42:17Mogey:I hate fish. So if I'm going to have a taco, it's going to be beef mince. Pork mints. Yeah, I don't know why I specify it. Just mints. Obviously not fish mints. Can you get fish mints?

42:30Keyzie:Yes, you can, actually.

42:31Mogey:Can you?

42:31Jase:You can get fish mints. Where? The fish mongers. Have you ever, I'll tell you what, man, have you ever monged a fish?

42:39Mogey:No, it's a monger. Isn't it a fish monger?

42:41Jase:That's right. So that's, you know. What does that mean? You're a fish monger. You're someone that buys and sells fish. You're a monger. Is that what monger means? So in the past tense, you've monged some fish. Is that what it means? Yeah, we come from a long line of mongers on my mother's side. I'm down in the Hora Whenua there. Marge. Yeah, Marge. So we've got the West Coast beaches there, Waitariri and Hokio. Oh, yeah. But yeah, a lot of monging down there. Fish mongering.

43:10Mogey:Yeah, right.

43:10Jase:Get into it, man.

43:11Mogey:You want me to become a fish monger?

43:13Jase:You'd make a great fish monger. But I don't like fish. Because you'd get over your fear of fish, Kesey. You would. Your horrendous, paralysing fear of fish. It's just that I'm so scared of them. It's not natural, man.

43:23Mogey:Yeah, it's not that they don't like the taste. No. It's okay, man. Thanks, fellas. It's not your fault, man.

43:30Keyzie:It's okay.

43:30Mogey:Yeah, thanks, fellas. Hey, guys, Greg here. Greg Sampras. Too love to Moggy. Oh, come on! Who the hell's Greg Abbott? Used to be Prime Minister. Who's Greg Sampras? Pete's brother. Yeah, see? Having risotto. Risotto. Oh. With bacon and peas. Right. Don't know about the peas. No, I hate peas. It doesn't seem Italian.

43:57Jase:No. Well, yeah. I love a fresh garden pea. I can't do a frozen pea. Will not. I love a pea. You love what? I love a pea. You love AP? Mm.

44:09Mogey:Yeah. Ah, g'day fellas. Roscoe here.

44:14Jase:Roscoe, Pico train.

44:17Keyzie:Jase? 40, what is it? It's 40 Love. 40 Love. And it is Roscoe P.

44:23Mogey:Coltrane from Dukes of Hazzard. Steak and onion toasty with a caramelised onion sauce. Wow. Steak and onion toasty. Toasted sandwich.

44:31Jase:That sounds delicious. No, that sounds foul. Why? That's an amazing thing if you can fit that in a toasty.

44:36Mogey:Maybe it's like leftover steak, and so just whack it in a little Sammy there. Steak and onion sandwich with onion sauce. Toasty. Not a sandwich, a toasty. so it's different to a sandwich. The bread's cooked. Is there any cheese or veggies in there or anything? Yeah, onions. And cheese, yeah, yeah, yeah, cheese, yeah.

44:55Jase:I'm into that. I'd give it a go. What do you think, Jase?

44:59Keyzie:Are you pre-cooking the steak? Oh, it'd have to be, absolutely. Yeah, okay. You can't do it in the toast. Leftovers, yeah, it'll be leftovers. Right, that's for tomorrow night.

45:08Mogey:Okay, I'll read that out tomorrow, sorry. The Hauraki Big Show with Jason Hoyt, Mike Minogue,

45:14Keyzie:and Keezy. Talking heads here on the Radio Hauraki Big Show this Tuesday evening. Let's get into a bit of teamless Tuesday.

45:22Mogey:Time to chat footy with me Keezy. What are the Warriors up to? The Warriors are playing the Newcastle Knights Sunday 6.05pm. The Newcastle Knights are not going terribly well. However, they are the second best defence in the NRL. They have also lost their three best attacking players, Caelan Ponga, Flitcher Sharp, and also Dylan Lucas. So they are blunted offensively, but still very, very good defense.

45:52Jase:Yeah, and they're also, there's a lot of internal strife at the Knights, isn't there? It's been pretty rough all season. You're Ponga there who beat out Sean Johnson for Dallium Player of the Year a couple of seasons back, a robbery. But he's a bloody good player. He was good for the first couple of rounds this year, then he's gone to the pack, and now there's rumors swirling that he's going to be leaving to Rugby Union. Yeah, there's all sorts happening. He's one of the highest-paid, if not the highest-paid players in the NRL. And so people will be pretty filthy on that. So I can't imagine we'll be up against too much of a unified unit.

46:25Jase:It's a game, if we're serious, top four, then we should smash these guys. No problem, even though we're playing away.

46:31Mogey:We should be able to beat them. I don't think we'll smash them, just because their defence doesn't allow a heap of points. But we should certainly beat them by 10, at least, I'm hoping.

46:40Keyzie:So this is the Knights we're talking about. That's right. And whereabouts are they sitting on the table about?

46:44Mogey:Well, I don't know exactly, but they're outside.

46:46Jase:I think they're about between 13th and 15th. I think if you're a top four side, then you should be able to beat a team down that far by plenty.

46:53Mogey:That's right. So they're 13th. You're right. So, yeah, they've lost 11 and won six. You're right. The only change this week is, unfortunately, Rocco Berry has had a massive history of shoulder issues. Dislocated his shoulder at the weekend against the Tigers. He is out. But the good news is Kurt Capewa comes in to the centres. He had a week off after playing State of Origin. Defensively, he will shore up any issues we were having there because that right side with Dillon and Rocco was actually prime for the target.

47:23Jase:Every single game, that side gets targeted. And every single time you go hunting or fishing over by DWZ.

47:30Mogey:And he will jam in and you will score.

47:31Jase:You and your tribe is eaten that night.

47:34Mogey:Another thing that I was listening to another podcast, these Aussie guys, and they were talking about it, the Tigers game plan was to run it at Tanner Boyd constantly. And they did do that. Adam Dewey, and he scored two tries through that channel. So expect the Knights to do the same thing. Target Tanner Boyd. Right. But hopefully, because Cape Waugh's there, he's a back rower. Good defensively. Hopefully that'll just shore that up, you know? Yeah, yeah, yeah. But other than that, the team is as it was. People were speculating maybe Tain Tuapiki would make way for RTS at fullback. It's not going to happen.

48:04Mogey:It's never going to happen. So Rodgers on the wing.

48:06Keyzie:He's a gutsy little fella, isn't he?

48:08Jase:He's awesome. That was probably his best game. All I've heard about is what a weapon he is, how he's electric, and I've never seen him make a break until last week. He's done it a lot in New South Wales Cup, but he's never made that kind of an attacking impression, I don't think. Penrith game last year, apparently, but I'd love to see him shine because I think he's a little champion.

48:28Mogey:Well, that Penrith game last year, it was magic round. We were there, but we were steamed responsibly.

48:32Jase:And we were behind the post. It's hard to tell what's going on when you can't see a foot in front of your face. And the posts. Oh, and the posts, yeah. Yeah, yeah, yeah, totally. Good stuff. The Hauraki Big Show Podcast.

48:52Keyzie:What a show, fellas. Yeah, man. What a show. Huge. Hey, now, I don't know if you've heard of the podcast Outro. It's bonus material we do outside of the radio show. So basically, it's how we warm up for the radio show, really, fellas, isn't it?

49:08Jase:Yeah. Probably could have done with an extra 10 minutes today, to be honest with you. We've had a few stumbles here and there. Nobody's fault. It's just how it goes sometimes. Yeah. And if anything, probably the podcast should have been the radio show today because the podcast was bloody good. It was hilarious.

49:23Mogey:Yeah, whereas I felt the show tapered off just towards the end there as the Keezy's Shanghai Steamer became a thing. I feel like that.

49:30Jase:Yeah, well, that was the point where I thought it really came back. Yeah, I thought we pulled it out of the fire there, actually. Or the toilet bowl.

49:37Mogey:Can you make sure that that bit doesn't make the cut for the podcast, man? Thanks, man.

49:42Jase:Can you also turn it into a clip for Instagram and a trailer for tomorrow? Good on you, man. Thanks, man.

49:48Mogey:Hey, here's a clip from today's podcast outro. It comes out at 7.30 tonight. It's called Ginger Nuts. I'm going to get my wife. My wife? And this isn't a sexism thing, but I'm going to get her to get Ginger Nuts in the next shop.

50:00Jase:On the shopping list. Yeah. How come she does that when you're home all day? That's a really good question.

50:08Mogey:Well, I don't know why we have to readdress this now.

50:12Jase:That's a good question. We might leave with that on tomorrow's show. Yeah, yeah, I think so. Why is Keezy's wife being saddled with all the chores when she's the one putting in a 40 to 60 hour week?

50:23Mogey:Look, Mogi, if I wanted someone to massively blow something out of proportion, I would let Jase do it.

50:28Keyzie:All the chores. Me? Yes. Me, Keezy. Yes. That's outrageous. Hey, now listen up. Do go and check out our Instagram account, by the way. There's heaps happening on that. Check out the podcast. The fellas will be back same time, same place tomorrow. Till then. See you later. Bye.