FULL SHOW: The Speedpuzzler

7:46Keyzie:Yeah I'm fuming Keep them coming 3483 No we're not texting It's not what we're doing here Call us on 0800 Hauraki

7:57Mike Minogue:The Hauraki Big Show With Jase, Mike and Keezy Tune in Weekdays at 4 on Radio Hauraki.

8:04Keyzie:Blind Melon there on the Radio Hauraki Big Show this Tuesday afternoon. The time is 23 minutes past four o 'clock and we're discussing the fact that Keezy's ears are on the piss. And we published a photo in the Instagram account there and people have been commenting on it. And on Facebook. And on Facebook. And I think it's fair to say, Keezy, you're feeling a bit volny.

8:26Mike Minogue:I am because I can't tell if they're joking and being nice or they're serious and that my ears are actually on the piss.

8:34Keyzie:The sense that I'm getting, and I don't know how you feel about this, Moggy, is overwhelming affection. Of course it is. You know what I mean? People love it, man. Really? Yeah, totally.

8:44Mike Minogue:Because texts are now coming in on 3483. This doesn't sound affectionate. The Hills have ears. That's not affectionate, is it? That's more of a reference to a movie. Yes. Isn't that about inbred people and stuff?

9:14What about this one here from Ham and Eggs? I mean, one of them looks fine.

9:23Mike Minogue:That's nice. Yeah. Totally, man. So when I get a photo taken, I'll be like, can you get me on my good side?

9:33Keyzie:Do you have a preference on that? You know, in that respect? Do you have a favourite ear? No, I've never noticed it until... Oh, right.

9:42Mike Minogue:Jerry on Facebook says, it looks like when you button your shirt up wrong.

9:54Mike Minogue:Brad says... Oh, I'm getting dizzy. What, from looking at my ears? Real funny, Mogi. Brad says it looks like his ears had a boob job in Thailand You see what I mean?

10:09Keyzie:That's nice man It's affection man

10:12Mike Minogue:It's people very fond of your kiz and your wonky ears Well this one does sound quite affectionate Jay on Facebook says my side mirror is after a day parked in Wellington Yeah Sean on Facebook says ears are supposed to be twins Not effing long distance lovers Blair says, if Dumbo had this air set up, he'd be flying in circles.

10:41Keyzie:So I just... Seriously, man, they're lovely. I mean, that is really good. How much joy has that brought you, Keezy? Yeah, totally. It's brought me a lot of... It's brought the whole team a lot of joy.

10:55Mike Minogue:What I think is happening is it's bringing everyone joy. Yeah. Maybe except for me. Oh, you think so? Yeah, I don't know. I just feel a wee bit vonies because of it.

11:03Keyzie:You know what I mean? I mean, no, as I say, Keezy, I think people are... What? What about this one here? Maybe feel better, Jase. What about this one? Old Keezy here, he loves his video games. Oh, yeah, I do. This one here, this one here says, Luigi lost his hat.

11:26Mike Minogue:What? Luigi and Mario Yeah I know He thinks there's a similarity here Oh between me and Luigi Yeah

11:35Keyzie:But look At the end of the day What? They are what they are Keezy You know what I'm saying man As long as I have good mates around me Yeah totally man And we're good mates I tell you what It doesn't really feel like it We're those wonky bastards with pride I say

11:51Mike Minogue:Thanks man The Hauraki Big Show Weekdays from four on Radio Hauraki.

11:58Keyzie:Welcome back. The Big Show. Magic round three beat. Let's put another mad bastard on the bench. Bloody oats. Let's do that, fellas. It's coming about very quickly. Just a month away now. Fellas. And we're going to blink the eyes and then we'll be there.

12:17Mike Minogue:Absolutely, Jase. Three nights over in Brisbane. Flights accommodation taken care of. Thanks to boyschip.co.nz. Sports travel made easy. And we're going to go see eight games of NRL. And for the rest of the time, we're going to be at all these pubs right by Suncorp, wearing retro jerseys and having a bloody good time.

12:32Keyzie:And can I just put it on the record? I'm not going to miss a single minute of any of those games, Philz. Okay, cool. I cannot wait. Suncorp Stadium is next level. It really is. Okay, so$1 ,000. You're saying that if you don't turn up for every second of every game, you're going to put$1 ,000 on the bar.

12:52Mike Minogue:You're a backbone, Jase. Totally, man. I'm down for that. I'll shake on that. Sure.

12:57Keyzie:Sounds good, man. Let's do it. Easy money for old hoity J. And if I do, you'll put$1 ,000 down on the bar? Oh, absolutely. Okay, yeah, good. Hey, g'day, Liz. How's life? Oh, good, thanks. How are you guys? Yeah, good, thanks, Liz. Tell me, Liz, what do you do for a crust?

13:17Mike Minogue:I'm a project coordinator. Oh, backbone coordinator, more like. Hey Liz Do you like rugby league? I appreciate that there's something there for the mums I see One for the mums I see Yeah I've got you So who will you be taking with you if you win the prize? I'll have to take my husband Yeah What's his name again? Ben Ben Ben's a shocking man Oh Ben from Liz and Ben Yeah he's a shocker isn't he? Yeah he is Because she's really nice, but he's like a bit of an idiot. He's a wounder, yeah.

13:52Keyzie:Actually, we were going to invite Liz and Ben to our wedding, and then my wife was like, are you sure you want Ben to come? Yeah, I don't mind having Liz there. And I was like, Liz will be cool, but Ben, jeez.

14:02Mike Minogue:Actually, Liz, am I right in saying, is Ben the one whose ears are on the piss?

14:09Mike Minogue:You're in the draw, Liz. Hold the line, mate. Who do you want to go to next, Jase?

14:14Keyzie:Let's go to Angus. G'day, Angus, you mad bastard. How's life? Yeah, good, mate. How are you? Yeah, good, thanks, mate. Where abouts? Oh, how's Christchurch today? Oh, yeah, a bit gloomy.

14:26Mike Minogue:Oh, yeah, man.

14:26Keyzie:Don't worry about it, man. It's all good. It's just weather, man. I wouldn't get upset about it. That's all right. If you happened to win, man, who would you take with you?

14:35Mike Minogue:Oh, probably the mad bastard Oscar. Oh, Oscar. He is a mad bastard, too. Oscar de la Cresce. Yeah, he's a shocking bastard. He's a shocker. He's a piece of shit. Remember him in Sesame Street? Yes. Same guy. Yeah, same dude, man. Does he live in a trash can? He does. Really? In Christchurch. Far out. Unbelievable.

14:56Keyzie:All right, Angus, you're in the draw, mate. Stay on the line. Pugs will sort you out, all right? Thanks, mate. Good stuff, Matt. G'day, Sam. Oh. Andrew. Andrew, you mad bastard. How's life? Oh, good, guys. How you going? Yeah, good, thanks, mate. Good, good. What do you do for a crust, Andrew? Police officer. Oh, back bone, eh? Massive backbone. Have you ever smacked anyone over and planted drugs on the men? I can't really talk about that. Yeah, yeah, backbone, backbone. Tell me, Andrew, who's your favourite warrior? Oh, you can't go. Oh, he's just hung up.

15:36Mike Minogue:Oh, he's gone. He's gone. I just saw Pugs out there in Studio B and he cut the line. You can't cut the line just because he's a police officer, man. Come on, man. That guy's a thin blue line, brother. That's the first guy you'll be calling if you get in trouble, Puck.

15:50Keyzie:I'm just worried that, you know, he was in his car there and the old boss came along and said, who are you talking to? Oh, he was on the comms, fellas. He was on the clock. Call us back, mate. We'll get you in the draw. Beautiful.

16:02Mike Minogue:Potentially another chance to get in the draw later in the show, so make sure you keep on listening. And if you hear the cue to call, 0800-HAURAKI is the number.

16:10Keyzie:Bit of new water, why not, eh?

16:13Mike Minogue:The Hauraki Big Show. Weekdays from 4 on Radio Hauraki.

16:17Keyzie:Yes, indeed. Cage the elephant there on the Radio Hauraki big show this Tuesday afternoon. The time is 4.47. Let's talk TV. What's on the telly with Mike Minogue?

16:33Keyzie:Yeah, I guess. Mogi didn't watch anything, he said. No, I didn't. So I will kick us off today. My wife and I last night felt we needed a break from I Survived and Alone. The listeners do as well. No, the listeners love that, man. Do they? Yeah, totally, Keezy. And so we watched a movie, and we picked a movie that we knew was going to be pap. You know, it was going to be crap, but sometimes they're kind of, you know, where you don't need to concentrate too much. It's just very easy to watch. And we watched a movie called Thrash. thrash. Never heard of it. On Netflix there. Basically the storyline is this.

17:18Keyzie:There's a little small town right next to the ocean. Oh my god. I know the one. There's this massive weather event. Right. And the ocean crashes through all the barriers. Thrashes through. Crashes through all the barriers and the town gets flooded. With what Keezy? But with what? Piranhas. No. Sharks. I was joking. Sharks. Really? Really? And so you sort of follow the storyline of about three separate people. Three separate sharks. In this little township that's massively flooded, there's sharks everywhere. One of the characters is pregnant. One of them is a young couple. No, the shark's not pregnant.

18:06Keyzie:And there's another character who's sort of periphery. it is absolutely inane, stupid stuff. But it was so stupid that we kept watching it. Yeah, good. And one of the things they do well is they do the sharks very well. And, you know, the effects are pretty impressive. But it was a film, which is something to behold, that got more and more stupid as it went along. Yeah, it'd have to keep one up in itself. I like films like that because you can talk through it and just mock it. Which is exactly what we were doing. It just got more and more ridiculous and stupid. Yeah. One buzzy. Out of a possible five.

18:47Keyzie:Yeah, out of a possible five. Look, my wife actually said to me at the end of it, how many buzies are you going to give that? And I actually said half a buzzy. And how much would you give the experience of watching it? How entertained were you through the process of watching it and talking shit about it with your missus there? Oh, three buzies. in terms of entertainment between my wife and I because she's quite funny.

19:09Mike Minogue:Yeah, good. Good stuff. And that's on Netflix. It's called Thrash. Yes. I watched a show last night on TVNZ that you guys are both going to say, Grand Designs New Zealand. Oh, how good. First episode of the latest season is the best episode of Grand Designs I've ever seen. Now, hang on a minute. Is this the episode where they spent something along the lines of... That's a massive spoiler at the very end of the episode. Is it? It was on the front of a... They spent millions and millions of dollars doing this house up, and it was the headline in an article I saw. I know, which was annoying, because I saw that and then watched it, and I was like, that's literally the last thing they say in the entire episode.

19:47Mike Minogue:Oh, really? It's a giant old castle down in Clyde in the South Island, and these two fellas, one's retired, and the other one sells quite a successful business in order to pay for it. They're lovers. And it's an amazing castle. They are lovers, Moggy. It's an amazing huge castle that this family back in the early 1900s, they built it because they were doing very well out of selling rabbit meat, tinned rabbit meat. Yeah, man. Wow. And then the arse fell out of the rabbit meat market, and they couldn't finish the castle. It sat half done. These guys have come along, completely redone it. However, it's a stage one heritage listing, which means you can't do pretty much anything.

20:22Mike Minogue:Yes. It is the biggest blowout cash-wise I've ever seen on Grand Designs, but the coolest building. Great. Very, very cool first episode. And, of course, my wife has a crush on the host. I'm going to watch that because I've heard that host is very hot from your wife. TVNZ Plus. So I'll be watching that. But it was funny when I saw the headline and how much money was spent. I assumed it must have been in Grand Designs in the UK or Australia. But it is New Zealand. So that's good stuff. And it's very cool. And I love the house and I love that the guys just committed to it anyway. How good. Very cool.

20:52Mike Minogue:What do they do for work? One of them owns a tourism company, which he sold. That's so much money. I know, so much money. Yeah. I highly recommend TVNZ Plus. I gave it four and a half buzzies out of five.

21:03Keyzie:Small change for me, that kind of money. Totally, man. You know what I'm saying, Fjellos? Here's T-Rex.

21:12Mike Minogue:The Hauraki Big Show with Jace, Mike, and Keezy. Tune in weekdays at four on Radio Hauraki.

21:18Keyzie:Welcome back, you massive backbones. Hope you're surviving your Tuesday. You're listening to The Big Show, by the way, brought to you by Toledo.

21:26Mike Minogue:Rehydrate the right way with Toledo's. Real ingredients and natural colours.

21:34Mike Minogue:Toledo. Oh, what happened, Keezy?

21:36Keyzie:What?

21:37Mike Minogue:Was I out of tune there?

21:38Keyzie:Yeah, totally, man. Are you sure I was? You were out of time.

21:41Mike Minogue:Was I out of time there or were you guys' ears on the purse? Your ears are on the purse. Your guys' ears are something off about them. Go and look at our Instagram, by the way,

21:53Keyzie:if you are wondering what the hell old Keezy's banging on about there. I think you were going to say banging on. He's a little upset. He is. Because we suggested that his ears were on the piss yesterday. And he said, all right, then take a photo and put it on the Instagram and let the people tell me if they actually are. We have been inundated. With messages of support. With affection, messages of support, over 100 messages. No, there's more than that.

22:23Mike Minogue:The Facebook photo alone has over 300 comments. Right, okay. And I'm still kind of searching for the support. I think one lady commented saying, hey, everyone's ears are slightly wonky. Yeah, and somebody else said, hey, a little bit of support for Keezy.

22:36Keyzie:Yeah, my wife is filthy that people are having a go at you about it. She said, you know, it's old Keezy. She doesn't call me old Keezy, does she? He's a goofy bastard and that's why everyone loves him.

22:49Mike Minogue:So that's your wife being filthy at everyone?

22:52Keyzie:Yeah, she was like, I won't have it in this house.

22:55Mike Minogue:But she'll call me a goofy bastard.

22:57Keyzie:Wow, yeah. That's a term of affection. Affectionately, Keezy. Affectionately. Yeah, totally. She's still hurting a bit about the six at our dinner party, to be honest. But, no, she's a big fan.

23:08Mike Minogue:Well, as you know, once again, it was your hosting that let it down. Her cooking was a 10 out of 10. By the way, if you would like to see whether my ears are on the piss in person, and you live in Dunedin, Wednesday next week, we're going to be down at Emerson's 4-7. The live show is happening. First 100 Through the Door free backbone T-shirt. That is the 22nd. Is that the 22nd? Yes. Yes. The 22nd, just double checking. Yeah, yeah, the 22nd. So we'll see you down there if you're in Dunedin. Yeah, good stuff, mate.

23:33Keyzie:Speaking of my wife, actually, she's joining a group, and I'm not happy about it. I want to get your guys' thoughts on it next, if you don't mind. Love it. In the meantime, here's She-Hart.

23:43Mike Minogue:The Hauraki Big Show with Jace, Mike, and Keezy. Tune in weekdays at 4 on Radio Hauraki.

23:49Keyzie:The Strokes there on the Radio Hauraki Big Show this Tuesday afternoon. The time is 14 minutes past five o 'clock. And, fellas, I had a disturbing chat with my wife last night. And she said to me, oh, now there's something that I've been meaning to tell you. And I said, oh, yeah, here we go. What's this going to be about? And she said, I'm thinking of joining a speed puzzling group. Ah. Speed puzzling. Well, actually, you could keep the music going because this is to my point. And I was like, what? And she said, I'm going to join a speed puzzling group. Now, for those of you that don't know what a speed puzzling group is, it's teams that get together and go to like a community hall or something like that, and they compete against other teams trying to put a puzzle together.

24:45Keyzie:The same puzzle? The same puzzle. This is a jigsaw puzzle? It's a jigsaw puzzle. A thousand piece, usually? Yeah, like a thousand piece or something like that. whoever does it the quickest wins. Yeah, right. You know what I'm saying? Cool. And when she told you that, were you puzzled? I was puzzled. My initial reaction was, okay, darling, that sounds amazing. Because that would be the sort of thing I'd imagine you'd be into, Keezy.

25:13Mike Minogue:Well, it's funny you say that, because my wife and I have been puzzling a lot of late. Yeah. We're halfway through a Tuscan evening one at the moment. struggling a bit with the sort of the sunset. Yeah. So we're halfway through that. But I have watched, as a result of that, a few videos of speed puzzlers on YouTube. Oh, right. Well, here's my concern.

25:34Keyzie:I've never heard of it. Here's my concern, fellas. For me, it's the perfect hotbed for an affair scenario. Oh. Well, I think, but it's a, surely it's just a cover story. Well, I'm also wondering that, Mogi, because I know that they do exist, and I know my wife likes to puzzle. Right. And, yeah.

25:58Mike Minogue:So you don't think your wife is just genuinely keen to get into speed puzzling? You think it's either it's a hotbed for an affair or she's having an affair and trying to cover it up?

26:07Keyzie:No, I don't actually think the latter. I think what... I want to paint a scenario for you. It's a community hall. There's 10 teams competing. It's rainy and windy outside And her team and another team are neck and neck To finish their puzzles Right? Like say my wife's team has got ten pieces Yeah And the other team has got seven pieces I feel like I'm there Totally right? And everyone's going Oh I'm team blah blah blah Just ten more pieces Team blah blah blah Just five more pieces Is it commentated? Absolutely it is and then my wife's team goes out of the blue just miraculously. They pull together as a team.

26:54Keyzie:Douche, douche, douche, douche, click, click, click. The puzzle completed. The other team, they pipped the other team by two pieces. Wow. They all celebrate. They embrace. They hug each other. They're overjoyed. And then in that embrace, they pull back. Yeah. The heart's thumping. You know, the adrenaline's pumping. And it turns into a deep French kiss.

27:20Mike Minogue:Yeah. Yeah, because it could also be like a scenario where they reach for the same puzzle piece. Exactly, Keezy. And then they lock eyes. No, you do it. You do it. Well, I mean, if you're really worried about it, Jase, you could offer to join her. Now, I know you don't want to bring down the side with your terrible puzzling skills because you're one of the world's worst. She constantly beats you at any puzzle that you take on. But you could offer to be the commentator. I could. Because nothing's more likely to pour water on the opportunity of an affair than old hoody jizz commentating it. Mate.

27:53Sticking his beak into it.

27:54Keyzie:Fellas, look. I would like nothing more than to join her puzzling team, but I'm not a loser.

28:02Mike Minogue:Yeah, right, so you think she's a loser. Yeah. See, I don't think she is a loser. I actually think she'd be a winner. She'd be really good at it because she's been trying to piece together your relationship for years.

28:14Keyzie:Very good, Keezy. Hey. Hey. That's great stuff. Thank you. It's a great day.

28:24Mike Minogue:The Hauraki Big Show. Weekdays from four on Radio Hauraki.

28:29Keyzie:Yes, indeed. Pluto there on the Radio Hauraki Big Show this Tuesday afternoon. The time is 25 minutes past five o 'clock.

28:36Mike Minogue:Fellas, it's fair to say that old Keezy's coming up in the world. Yeah, man. Yeah, man, totally. Yeah. Climbing that ladder, that ladder they call showbiz. Fame, fortune. Yeah, well, waiting for the fortune and the fame, to be fair. But the next rung of the ladder has successfully been reached. Old Woman's Day, they've reached out. They want to do a story on Old Keezy. It's a huge time in your life, man. Yeah, thank you. Congratulations. Pretty proud, man. I tell you what, man, I may have won Actor of the Year. Jase, you've had all kinds of it. You've got the Billy T Award. I've never been in the Woman's Day.

29:07No.

29:08Keyzie:Look, I'm not angry about it. I'm not bitter about it. but massive kudos to you, Keezy. Woman's Day, I mean, now you're talking. Thanks, mate. It's your day.

29:19Mike Minogue:Yes, thank you. It's your moment, Keezy. Thanks, man. If you want, I could put a good word in for you guys. No, no, no, I don't want to beg for it. Well, you're not begging. I could say, hey, would you be keen on doing a story on Hoity J? And then they'll be like, who's that? I'll be like, oh, Jason Hoyt. And they'll be like, what's he done? Honestly, I could tee the whole thing up. No, don't worry about it, man. Okay, cool. So they've locked it in for this weekend. They're coming around this weekend to do a shoot at my house. Wow. Oh. Yeah, which is interesting. And they've not really given any direction or anything.

29:50Mike Minogue:They're just like, hey, we're going to come around to your house. Then I said, oh, here's my address. And they're like, oh, wow, West Auckland. I was like, yeah. But they're still doing it.

30:00Keyzie:Well, just with that in mind, I mean, I just want to put it out there as someone that's supporting this massive occasion for you. I mean, I wouldn't mind if you wanted to, Keezy, if you wanted to use my apartment as a location. A bit stylish, a bit elegant, pretty up there, but create the right impression that you're on your way to the top.

30:22Mike Minogue:Oh, yeah, that's a good offer. It'd be a bit weird, though. They'll be like, whose house is this? And I'll be like, hoity Jane. They'll be like, who? And then I'll explain who you are and what you've done. That's a nice offer. Well, you just pretend it's your house. Well, I don't want to be someone I'm not, Jase, because who I am is a guy that's going to be on Women's Day. That's true. I mean, and there's so many different storylines I can go with. I don't know if they've given it to you yet, told you what it's going to be, but it could be at home with Keezy. Oh, yeah? Punching with Keezy's missus, you know what I mean?

30:50Because she's such a stunner.

30:53Mike Minogue:She is, thank you. But then you've been doing all your renos. Yeah, a bit of reno chat could be good. You've been doing your truck. Well, yeah, I mean, I've restored a truck with my dad a while ago now.

31:03Keyzie:I'm seeing you under the bonnet of your truck there with grease down your cheek. Yeah, that's right.

31:09Mike Minogue:Holding the wrong end of a drill. Yeah. Wait, so I'm holding the drill bit. Is the drill on? Yeah, yeah, yeah. And the thing's just swinging around. And you're spinning around. That's a good idea. I could do that. I could have like overalls that are like tied around my waist. Yes, with your shirt off.

31:25Keyzie:What about Keezy overcoming adversity and getting to the top?

31:30Mike Minogue:No, no, I'll let them get the angle, fellas. It's more about It's more about like They haven't for example told me what I should wear You know what I mean So that's why I'm thinking I'd like the overalls because it is more I'm a bit of a trophy

31:45Keyzie:I'm seeing like a beanie I'm seeing a beanie Pulled down Beanie, why is that? Well just to cover What? Just to cover the wonky ears Oh it's getting cold, it's covering my ears Wow. Actually, if it's a story about adversity, that could be the angle. The fact that your ears are on such a weird angle, but that hasn't stopped you.

32:12Mike Minogue:Oh, so like how I got into showbiz despite my wonky ears. Yeah. Yeah. It's nice. I like it. Is it? Okay, cool. Yep. Well, then you could be wearing, like you say, your overalls, but also your Tony jacket. Oh, yeah, my denim jacket, my Tony jacket. Then it might throw people off because it says Tony on it. That's true, actually.

32:38Keyzie:I would be inclined to go the whole hog. Get the hog out. No, no, wear your overalls, no shirt. Yeah. Right. Put everything out there. The nips, the ears.

32:54Mike Minogue:Right, so photo of me with my nips out. Yeah. Am I on the piss ears? I tell you what, it's got cover story written all over it. The Hauraki Big Show, weekdays from four on Radio Hauraki.

33:11Keyzie:Yes, indeed, the red hot chilli peppers there on the Radio Hauraki Big Show on this stormy, blustery Tuesday evening. Now, what a special treat. Fellas, we've got an actual actor in the studio with us, a real live, real live actor. Buell Laquale, how are you, mate? Yeah, good, brother. Thanks for having me. Oh, it's a pleasure. We love talking acting on this show. You're the star of a play down at, is it the Silo at the moment? Silo Theatre Company is showing down at Q Theatre. Q Theatre, beautiful. A view from the bridge. Our mate Mogi went to see it. He said it was magnificent. It was. It's a hell of a cast, man.

33:53Yeah. Holy hell. Everybody knocks it out of the park. Yeah. Can you give us a synopsis of what the play is? Because it's very different from what I think New Zealand audiences are used to seeing. You bastards have all got American accents. Yeah, we've got like, so it's a 1950s play and it's written by a writer called Arthur Miller, who back in the day was married to... Marilyn Monroe. Yeah, Marilyn Monroe. So yeah, he was the man. Yeah, and he wrote this play about, it's an immigrant story. It's a Greek tragedy set in an immigrant area in Brooklyn, in Red Hook, Brooklyn, in New York. And, yeah, we're playing Italian-Americans, and there's a whole bunch of islanders and four islanders, and then an Algerian, beautiful Algerian, Hana, and Iraqi man, Arlo Green.

34:42So, yeah, it's pretty – it's hard to describe. I always say it's a messed up play. Yeah. It is. It is. I'll give the synopsis here. A 1950s tragedy about Eddie Carbone, which is your character, Beulah, a Brooklyn longshoreman whose repressed obsessive love for his niece Catherine leads to jealousy and betrayal.

35:03Keyzie:Jeez. When Catherine falls for an undocumented immigrant cousin, Rodolfo, Eddie's jealousy sparks a fatal chain of events involving Sicilian honour codes in American law. It is absolutely out the gate. It sort of knocks you back in your seat because it's in the round. So traditionally you'd have a normal stage. this one sits right in the middle and there are seats all around and also at Q Theatre there's sort of there's the higher up seats a bit of raking yeah and it's what's cool about it man and I'm assuming this is all planned by your incredible director is at the end it plays out in the streets and it's reminiscent of that last scene of the final scenes in Training Day with Denzel Washington right it's that thing where it's played out in front of the community the community of the judge and jury and it's like you're speaking to the people in the tenement.

35:51It's so brilliantly done. I started speaking to the, I think I was speaking to you a couple of times there because I used the audience as the neighbourhood because you get shamed in front of the whole neighbourhood and back then, that is big. Yes. So yeah, I used the audience a lot and you could just look on their faces, man. Look on your face too. Yeah, yeah, yeah. I was like, yeah, so it's gripping. There's nothing on the stage except the chair. Right, okay. So she's sparse. Yeah, she's very sparse. Is it like a budget thing or? Nah, that's the brilliance of Ana Pela Pulota Ivao, our director.

36:26And it's just up to the actors. If we're rubbish, then you cannot imagine the world that we've designed in our head. If we're really good, you see the chair, you see the sink, you see the fairy lights and everything.

36:38Keyzie:Yeah, man, because you've got nothing to fall back on. Like I used to do stand-up comedy with a mate. We were props comedians. So we had heaps of props because we were really shit at comedy. so we needed something to fall back on. You know what I'm saying?

36:51Mike Minogue:You used to use like a laugh track as well, right? Yeah, we had a laugh track.

36:54Keyzie:You know what I mean? We used to play it. Yeah, you see? There it is. But I love that. I love that because there's something about a bare stage where it puts the onus on the actors. You know what I'm saying? It's just about your performance and you're the focus. There's nothing else going on apart from the performance. And what's also fantastic about it, I thought as well, because I don't want to message you. I didn't message you. and we've never met before, but I messaged you the next day because I wanted to think about it overnight. It's a timeless story because there is a world where you could tell this story in the 70s in New Zealand in the Pacifica community.

37:29Now. Right? Exactly. And it's, you know, the so-called overstay as the dawn raids and all those sorts of things, that could have been done, but a decision was made that it should be told exactly the same way and in that American tradition and using the accents and everything like that. that must have been a conscious decision Yeah well that's on mum I call her mum that's on her because I remember going how do we Pacific this? And she goes you don't She told me this is a classic you're going to do it the way it's supposed to be done because people think that we Pacific it people think that we can't do it so you're going to go and prove them wrong son and all you need to put in front of me is a target and a challenge and then I start busting walls down

38:11Keyzie:Well it's a really interesting thing too because with the great sometimes you can tutu too much with it, you know what I mean? And it's like – It's so simple. It's great for a reason. There's a real propensity too when you look at things like Shakespeare and so forth to really change it up and make it a bit wacky and crazy and stuff. But you don't need to because the work sort of speaks for itself, you know what I'm saying? It's in the words. It's in the dialogue that's written. And I think we've done a pretty great job on how it's directed and how it plays out.

38:41Mike Minogue:But didn't you do that though, Jase? You and Johnny, didn't you do like a spin-off of Shakespeare? Yeah, actually. It was like a mid-summer night's wet dream or something, wasn't it?

38:50Keyzie:Yeah, we did. But also, I actually did Hamlet years and years ago at the Maidman Theatre, and I had a mind blank, so I started improvising Shakespeare. I call that the white room. Yeah. I call it the white noise. I was like, oh, my God, I can't remember what I'm supposed to do. And I started trying to improvise Shakespeare. Don't ever do that, man. Don't ever do that.

39:12Mike Minogue:Well, speaking of improvising, I'm learning to be an actor at the moment, Buela. So I was thinking, seeing as you're in here. Yeah, man. Do you reckon you could do a little improv scene with me? Yeah. Maybe teach me the ropes? That's why I'm here. Hell yeah. Well, should we do that next, fellas? Sounds good, man. The Hauraki Big Show with Jace, Mike, and Kesey. Tune in weekdays at four on Radio Hauraki.

39:33Keyzie:Friends Ferdinand there on the Radio Hauraki Big Show this stormy Tuesday evening. We've got actor Buell Laquali in with us, who's the star of the play A View from the Bridge. He's just been chatting about it in the previous voice break. And we thought, fellas, what a great opportunity, while we've got a real-life actor in the room with us, to do a improvisation. What do we reckon? Quiet on set. Sound speed. Lights. Camera. Action. Now it's time for the Big Show Improv. Pretty good set-up, this one, I think. It makes sense just to go along with what happens in the play. Bueller, you'll just play Eddie Carbone.

40:12Eddie Carbone. He's not happy. Old Keezy. Okay. Old Keezy over here, you've been trying to hook up with Eddie's missus. Oh, okay. I think she works down at the local video store, and you've been flirting with her. At the video store? At the video store, dear. What's her name? Sophie. Okay. Sophie. Okay, her name is Sophie. So, Eddie's come to see you. You work at a fruiterer. A fruiterer? Yeah, a fruit shop. The hell's it on? A fruit shop. So Eddie's come down there and he's not happy with you.

40:47Mike Minogue:Okay, my name's Mike. Mike. I actually know that's confusing because his name's Mike. Yeah, you were looking at me and you thought, I know what. Yeah, I know a name. You could be Andy. I'm Andy, all right? Andy.

40:57Keyzie:And you could be the partner, Mogey.

40:59Mike Minogue:Yeah, okay. Sophie. Rightio. Sophie. Sophie and Andy. And what's your name? Eddie. Eddie. Eddie, okay. Okay, all right, here we go. Okay. Let me drop in here. Yeah. Hey, how's it going there? Hello, welcome to my fruiterer. How can I help? Hello, Andy. Yeah, what's your name? I got a packet of apples back there. You know, it's not very good. It's a little bit of rotten. Oh, really? Hmm. Braeburns or Royal Gala? Sorry about that, man. Let me know. I'm on Royal Gala. Royal Gala? Yeah. Shit. Hey, your eyes look good, you know? My eyes do? Yeah. Thanks, man. I feel like I've seen you before. Yeah.

41:36I don't know, man. I mostly just hang around the fruiterer. Hey, you know my wife. Oh, yeah? You know blonde hair. Blonde hair, nice legs. Oh, yeah? Nice tush down there at the back. Oh, yeah. What's her name? Yeah, I see you moping around my house. What? Hey, look me in the eyes when I'm talking. Sorry, man. It's very intimidating. I'm just a fruiterer. Sharp on my wife here today. Sophie, you tell them what you told me.

42:02Mike Minogue:Hi, Sophie. I'm Andy. How's it going? Yeah. Hi, Soph. No, no, no, no. You said when you talked to her, you talked with your hands. So I want you talking with your hands then. It's hard because I want people to be able to hear hellos. He's been touching me. What the hell? Sorry, Soph. You've been touching my wife. Look me in the eyes when I'm talking to you. You've been touching my wife. I haven't been touching your wife. Do you still want the apples? No, seriously, I haven't. I haven't. I do want the apples, but the apples are found somewhere it's not supposed to be, and you've been touching them.

42:31What have you been doing with the apples, Soph? I don't know. You've been giving her apples, oranges, and you've been a little touch. You know what's going on here. Actually, didn't I give you an eggplant? Yeah.

42:42Mike Minogue:Same.

42:47Mike Minogue:That's really hard to look you in the eye, man. It's very intimidating.

42:50Keyzie:I felt like you were about to get your head smacked in there at some point. That was great stuff.

42:56Mike Minogue:And to stay serious too, and it's just such a stupid. Yeah, exactly right. Yeah, we normally break nine times.

43:03Keyzie:Now Beulah Once again The play is called A View from the Bridge Yes It's at Q Theatre Q Theatre And when's it running from? So it's We opened last week On Friday And it's on for a whole month You can get the tickets At iticket.co.nz There's a bunch of Different payment options there There's$85 $65 I think that's ridiculous And I'm saying this And I'm in the show But there's $30 options And$25 community tickets And that's for people Who can't afford To pay those Ridiculous prices Nice You click that little option and get your butt there. If there are people out there that want, because this is an actor's show, and this is like my big thing in this industry is to help, to not gatekeep and help nurture new talent coming through.

43:44So if there's any people out there in Auckland that can't afford the$25, you hit me up on Instagram, find me, Beulah Kuali, and give me a message, and I'll get, especially if they're young people who want to get into acting and don't know what it is, I'll get them through, and I'll come watch that show because no one should miss this show just because it costs a little bit. Absolutely. It really is a brilliant show. I can't recommend it highly enough. All of the performances are amazing, and it is really something that sticks with you. I'm still thinking about it days after. It's pretty special, so get along.

44:18Mike Minogue:Yep, iticket.co.nz, a view from the bridge. Thanks for coming in, man. No, thank you for having me. The Hauraki Big Show with Jace, Mike and Keezy. Tune in weekdays at 4 on Radio Hauraki.

44:31Keyzie:Welcome back, you massive backbones. Hope you're surviving your Tuesday evening. You're listening to The Big Show, brought to you by Toledo's.

44:38Mike Minogue:Why pause your thirst? Defeat it with Toledo's. Toledo's.co.nz.

44:47Mike Minogue:Toledo's. Toledo's. Toledo's. Everyone was looking real suspicious then. Yeah. Like, who's going to yell it first? Hey, what are you guys having for dinner tonight, man? I don't know.

44:57Keyzie:But it better be good.

45:01Keyzie:I, Keezy, after my delicious pointy J number one spicy chicken soup last night, which I forgot to bring in for Keezy. The best in the world. The best in the world. Bring in for Keezy? What are you talking about, bring in for Keezy? Bring in for us. Oh, for you as well. Can I just say it's not my best one? That's what you said about it. Funny, isn't it?

45:19Mike Minogue:Funny, isn't it, Keezy? It is. It's very funny. But anyway. No, no, no, no. We're not finished yet. Hang on. Because you said that about your Kassundi. But it was bloody good though, wasn't it? Which was, it was all G, it was pretty nice. Fine. But it just so happened the one you were bringing in for us, for the first time ever, wasn't very good. When it is notoriously the best in the world, and you would think that you would get better and better at it, not worse.

45:43Keyzie:I'm saying, I'm not saying it's not good, I'm just saying it's not my best that I've made. Is it best in the world? It needs more spice, I reckon, more fresh chilli. Sort of that. Yeah, I could. But tonight, Keezy, since you asked the question, stuffed capsicums with spicy pork mints in the middle. I saw that. Now, I saw that. I think it was on your story. Now, I sent you a comment there. What did I say? That's animal food or something? That's the kind of meal that was a class act in, like, the 1980s. 1980s, yeah, yeah. I know. You cut the lid off the top of it like it's a jack-o'-lantern and fill it up with pork mince and bung it in the oven.

46:24That's shocking shit.

46:26Keyzie:I'm really excited about it because it's going to be spicy. There's lots of veggies in there as well, Keezy. Alongside that, we're going to have some roasted courgette. Nice. Yeah. I'll be interested to see it. A weird combo. Can I ask you, where did that recipe come from? Was it in a book? No, it was just like, I'll tell you where it came from. I was in the supermarket yesterday and I went, jeez, capsicums are cheap. So I bought four of the barbers.

46:51Mike Minogue:Jeez, camps and gums are cheap. Why don't I stuff them with pork mitts? Totally, man. Well, can you bring in one of those?

46:57Keyzie:Well, actually, I made a spare one in case. A spare one. In case somebody wanted to see this. You know, well, exactly. One of them fell apart.

47:06Mike Minogue:Right. Can you bring one of those? No, just bring the chicken soup in, please. Okay. I'm having quesadillas. Oh, you had those last night. No, no, no. I thought I was going to. Last night I had wontons. Did you? Which is annoying because I had dumplings for lunch yesterday. Oh, it's been stitched up there. But that's because you've moved from your regular Wednesday slot. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Did you make your own wontons? No, they were in a food basket situation, my food basket. I had a really good chicken-y number last night with a pasta salad. It was good. Yeah, nice. Well, that's good. Actually, New Zealand, hey, what are you having for dinner?

47:39Mike Minogue:Text us, 3483 if you want 50 bucks cash. That's coming up next. The Hauraki Big Show, weekdays from four on Radio Hauraki.

47:47Keyzie:Sublime there on the radio. Hauraki Big Show this Tuesday evening. The time is 14 minutes past 6 o 'clock, which means it's time for...

47:56Mike Minogue:Oh, yeah, hey, guys. Text here from Steve. What's on the tea with me? Dinner with me, Keith. That's good. What's for tea, New Zealand? 3483. You texted through. You could win 50 bucks. Cash. Cash, cash. How's this, fellas? Holly's texted through. Holly Hunter. Wow, nice. No. Who? Holly from Christchurch. No. Yeah. That doesn't sound right. Nah, I'm pretty sure. Actually, no, it is Holly Hunter. Burritos for dinner. My kids loved throwing them on the ground. Cheers. I tell you what, when you've got a kid and you're going to find out about this very soon there, Kesey. Well, I don't know about Mary soon.

48:37Just the amount of food that gathers all around the floor, around the high chair and all that sort of thing. Just an absolute nightmare. Just chuck it everywhere. It's one of those things where it slowly stops happening. So you forget that it was one of the greatest punishments going around. Yes. But there's so many little things like that you've got to look forward to, Keezy.

48:56Mike Minogue:I remember my mum and dad saying that they used to every night put down like a plastic like floor mat thing and then put my little plastic table and my little plastic chair in front of it. My little plastic bowl. My little plastic bowl thing. And then I'd just make a hur of a mess.

49:10Keyzie:There'd be pork mints everywhere. There's just pork mints everywhere.

49:15Mike Minogue:And then they just sort of like take it all and like hose it all down and get it ready for the next meal. Yeah, next feed. Oh, it's a shambles. The next feed. Yeah, yeah, which of course was pork mince. G'day there, guys. Mick here. Jagger. Hucknall. Jase. Mickey Mouse. Jase. Come on, say one, man. Mick. No, it was Mick Jagger. Mick me, mate, the master fatter. It was Mick Jagger. G'day, guys. Mick Jagger here from Hookaticka. shepherd's pie, leftover lamb roast to make the shepherd's pie. Oh, okay. Yeah, no, that's good. That's good. I like it. Do you know what? I just had a flashback, because I haven't had a shepherd's pie since I was a young 'un, but I just had a flashback.

49:55You had a tomato sauce on that. Oh, yeah. All over the top of that beautiful, bright brown mashed potato on top. A bit of cheese. How good, man. How good. I don't think my hours ever had the cheese on it, Keezy. No, we didn't have cheese,

50:08Keyzie:just the mashed potatoes. But the problem we had, because I love a cottage pie, It's a shepherd's pie. It's different, man. Sorry, shepherd's pie. It's totally different, man. Come on, bro. But my daughter doesn't like them, so we never make it.

50:19Mike Minogue:You're right. You know, it's annoying. It is annoying. That sucks, Jase. Yeah, man. G'day, guys. Bob here. Ziruncle. It's Ziruncle. Bob Ziruncle.

50:37Mike Minogue:Where is that name from? I think it's Croatian. Yes. Yes. G'day guys, Bob's your uncle here. A Heineken and a couple of Tim Tams for dinner. Look, yeah, I've had that sort of, look, is it something that I hope for myself and dream for myself as I get older? No. Yumbo. But sometimes, yeah, be a couple of biscuits, sit down, watch a bit of Italian. A couple of biscuits and a beer. What was the last part you were going to say? Weirdly, I was going to say jacket. I don't know why. Yeah. That makes sense. For dessert. Yes. I don't know why putting a jacket on for dessert makes sense. Dinner tonight.

51:17Mike Minogue:G'day, guys. John here. McEnroe. Too good. It's John McEnroe. Yes. You haven't got a single one right tonight, Jase. You're having a shock. It's terrible.

51:29Keyzie:Really? Yeah, I did Holly Hunter. Did you? Yeah. Oh, yeah. That wasn't, though.

51:34Mike Minogue:She just texted you, no, I'm not Holly Hunter. Oh, come on, man. I'm just Holly from Christchurch. G'day, guys. John here. Dinner tonight. Not an effing clue, but I am pregnant, so double of whatever it is.

51:49Just put me off my dinner.

51:52Mike Minogue:Sorry, Olivia Newton, John. Who did you guys think it was? She's like 80, isn't she? Yeah, wow. Good for her. Good for her. One last one, fellas. What do you reckon? Yeah. G'day, fellas. Jesse here. Ventura. Mulligan. Ah, that's one. Ventura. I'm going to have a cheeky bacon burger from the local fish and chip shop and a beer responsible. That sounds nice, a bacon burger.

52:18Keyzie:Yeah, yum. I'll take that. That's my winner. Give them 50 bucks. Really? Yeah, totally, man.

52:22Mike Minogue:Done, pugs. Ship it out, mate. Ship it out quick smart. The Hauraki Big Show with Jace, Mike and Keezy. Tune in weekdays at 4 on Radio Hauraki.

52:32Keyzie:Yes, indeed. Blink 182 there on the Radio Hauraki Big Show this Tuesday evening. the time, 6.27.

52:39Mike Minogue:Fellas, this Friday is officially Poppy Day, Anzac Day being on Saturday, April 25th, of course. If you would like to make a donation and, what's three bucks, and also get a poppy, text poppy to 8595, automatic$3 donation to a very worthy cause. Right now, they're up to 140 ,000 veterans of military service who rely upon the RSA and public donations. So once again, that's poppy to 8595. Poppy 85. Perfect. $3 contribution. Thanks, Jase. You're a legend, man. Thanks, man. Fellas, I had to take Bird Shit Chris to get spayed. Oh. Bird Shit Chris. Your cat, which the audience named Bird Shit Chris.

53:24That's right. Jeez, that's a hell of an operation. I've never had a cat before. Yeah. I don't know how much they go through.

53:31Mike Minogue:Yeah, because there's a lot of stuff. And this is what's stopping me from getting a cat a wee bit, is you do have to, like, you've got their injections and their shots and stuff, and then they've got to get spayed, obviously. Yeah, that's right. And it's obviously not all cats have to get spayed. Some people choose not to have it done. I was sort of, it was made out to me like it was sort of a responsibility that you had to have as a cat owner. But when they brought her out, I was like, jeez, I don't know, man. She seemed a bit under the weather, you know what I mean? Well, she's probably, well, she's just been through a pretty full-on operation, you know.

54:00Mike Minogue:Absolutely. Was she drugged up as well? Yeah, well, they have to drug, they do have to drug them up. Yeah, I can imagine. They do have to drag them up because, yeah, I mean, they go under the knife. And it's a heavy operation and a long operation. It's about eight and a half hours I was sitting there waiting. Wow. Jeez, that must have cost a fortune. That sounds wrong, ain't it? And then, of course, there's all the accessories that go with it as well. Accessories? One of the accessories was they wear those, they call them an e-collar, an Elizabethan collar. Oh, yes. They look like a really handsome gentleman from back in the day, you know, Like a fan almost.

54:36Yeah, from like Tudor days. Yeah, that's right. So that stops them from chewing out the stitches there. Is it like a cone on a dog? Like a cone on a dog. Yeah. A thing like that. And then, of course, there's the wheels. You know, she's got a new set of wheels. Right, yes. Why does she have wheels? Well, when they get spayed, they chop the legs off and they put them on, you know, like those wheels. You see, more often than not, you'll see a dog doing it. Yeah, generally, not your cat, your dog. So this is, yeah, so that was like, holy.

55:09Mike Minogue:No, sorry, hang on, because I thought when a cat gets spayed, you know, it was more about making so they can't reproduce or whatever. Well, that's right, so that's one of the things that they do. So if they put them on those wheels, then the other cats aren't interested. Yeah, right. Like everyone's like, oh. Yeah, a bit of admin there.

55:34Keyzie:I mean, she's got a great personality.

55:39Mike Minogue:The Hauraki Big Show. Weekdays from four on Radio Hauraki.

55:49Keyzie:Well, there you go, you mad bastards. That's a big show done and dusted for you Tuesday night. What's the podcast outro clip tonight, Keezy?

55:57Mike Minogue:Tonight's podcast outro clip is still in coming. Pugs is just getting it now. he's going to chuck it up there and he's set. Oh, look at the state. Here's the thing about it. He's still in Vietnam.

56:08Keyzie:Oh, yeah, totally, man. You know? Absolutely.

56:11Mike Minogue:But I don't think, no, because I know what's happened here. The system reset and deleted stuff out, and here it is. It's called Europe. I have this vision that I would suit Europe.

56:25Keyzie:Nah, the issue with J's. Doughies, coffees, no breakfast. Nah, the issue, no.

56:32Mike Minogue:The issue with you is... Oui, oui. The issue with Jase in Europe. Bonjour. Okay, f*** this. Real mature stuff, eh? You wouldn't suit Europe, Jase. I wouldn't. Yeah, you should go.

56:47Keyzie:I simply must. Yeah. Can you go? Mogi. Yes, babe. I did a Mogi last night. Oh, Mogi special. And went to bed early. Oh, did you? At nine o 'clock. Yeah. Which is really early for me. Well, not really, but pretty early. Woke up at three. Did you? And I was cursing your name. It was your fault. Right. Yeah, it's a shocker. It is a shocker. I've been going. I'll tell you what. We had our bloody cat. Did I tell you about this? The cat. I had to put it down in the laundry. I told you about that last night, right? And I had a blissful sleep. Absolutely blissful. And your wife and daughter are upset about it.

57:22And now my wife is telling me that now we have to train the cat to not wake us up. but it's like, it's a cat. You don't train a cat.

57:33Keyzie:You don't train cats. The cat's just going to wake us up because it wants to go outside or it wants to have something to eat or you name it. So I don't know, man. I think I'm moving down into the laundry. Yeah.

57:41Mike Minogue:Is there a ramp in the laundry? Keezy. Well, hello. The cat's got a skateboard.

57:47Keyzie:Pork mince enchiladas for you tonight. That's good stuff, mate. Jason, quesadillas. Oh, quesadillas. And it is pork mince, correct. I made a video of me making the capsicums. I should post that, eh, fellas? Absolutely you should. No, I shouldn't. It's an absolute shocker. But that's what people love. I need a new phone, man. You do need a new phone. It's so bad.

58:06Mike Minogue:But enjoy your Keezy special tonight, man.

58:09Keyzie:Yeah, well, I'll send some pics to you fellas once I crack it open and all the juices and everything pour out. Oh, I cannot wait. We've got to lead the show tomorrow with your review of that food. And actually, can you get a voice memo from your wife reviewing it? Yes, I can. Thank you very much. No worries. And like a video of her eating one.

58:31Mike Minogue:that's not like it wasn't creepy or good night hang on it wasn't supposed to be creepy man it was just