FULL SHOW: Tofu Boy Pugs

25:52I was still getting to know you guys, and we went out to a restaurant. And it was beautiful until Kesey had a few too many beersies responsibly. Just talking about our Big Show Curry night last night, which is becoming a regular feature of the show. Yep. Delicious. It was me and dear Minogi, Keezy, and our new mate Pugsy. Pug wash. Went to a very nice place in Parnell there, and Minogi and I ordered some food before the other lads arrived, and then we ordered some beers, didn't we, Keezy? Yeah, we did order one beer each, and that was totally fine. And if you want to see a photo, Hodaki Big Show Instagram page there, Jason Hoyt was on selfie duty.

26:32Yeah, I was. And that's really where, after that first big bottle of beer, Minogi, things began to just deteriorate. I don't know what you're talking about. I just want to paint a little picture, if I might. Sitting right next to us was a group of octogenarians. That's right, elderly. Who, by the way, spent most of the evening talking about the operations they'd had. Yeah. Yeah, one of them just had tape on their head and reached from the operating table. One had a solar, he was operating a solar panel for a sex machine up top. Yeah. No hair, so he had a bit of a Captain's tubing going around the side.

27:07A massively sunburnt dome with plasters over what kind of, I can only imagine were extracted melanomas. Yes. Had that look about it. Yes. There was another guy that was, before you guys arrived, Kesey, was just going on and on about some operation he'd had and, you know, some pipe that had been shoved down his toilet. This is all true too And then the other three were just having to eat the stuff up But I imagine that's what it gets to when you're that age It's just yelling about you Totally mate, your medical ailments But anyway, so Kesey then ordered another big bottle I think it was Tiger Bear No, it was Kingfisher Oh, Kingfisher, sorry, I apologise Which is 8 % He ordered another one He hoed into that Down that bastard I just drank it at a casual pace And then, ladies and gentlemen the first F-bomb resonated around the resonated around the restaurant.

28:03What was amazing about that is we were sort of sitting out the front on the veranda there. Yes. And you could hear a clatter of cutlery against plates inside the restaurant. Yes. Oh, could you? And just total silence, like a vacuum. Totally, man. We had a candle on our table. It blew out. Yeah, thanks. From the F-bomb. Yeah, yeah. I don't remember that. Well, from the air being sucked out of the room, man. Oh, right. I know you don't remember it. See, the thing about Liz with alcoholism as well, Jase, is people think that they've got a really high tolerance for the booze. Totally. But actually what happens is you only need one beer to top yourself up, and he's full steam ahead again.

28:40Yeah, and he'd had two big bottles by that stage. So we started getting into the curries. Very nice, by the way. I must admit they were nice for vegetarians. It was hot. Then ba-ba-ba-ba-doosh! Keezy knocks over a massive bottle of beer on the table. breaks old Pugsie's wine glass, and then another massive F-bomb. Reverb, reverb, reverb, reverb, reverb. By this stage, Minogi's getting a little bit, you know, he's getting a little bit, hey, Keezy, Keezy, pull it in a bit, son. Yeah. Right, then what happened, Jason? Well, it was fun, and then Keezy just sort of said, but this is just how I F and talk.

29:19It's like, whoa! So at that point, you and I just sort of started quaffing down the food. Let's get out of here. This is going to turn. I'm signalling to the bill. Pugsy's on the verge of tears. You were signalling for the bill. Pugsy's on the verge of tears. Can I just say, Jase, this isn't the worst of it. And I think we probably have to come back. Oh, yeah, let's keep coming back to this. Yeah, yeah, yeah. I mean, it was a hell of a night. It was especially traumatic for you, wasn't it, Pugs? because, as you say, I think you'd only just started on the big show. Yeah. And so it was like, what the hell have I got myself into here?

29:59Well, the thing is, when you start a new job, you're, like, on your best behaviour. Yes. And you're still getting to know the people around you. So I was really trying to hold it in as much as I could when he started behaving like that. Yeah. You got pretty emotional. There were a few tears. Yeah. Especially because they didn't have any bloody tofu in the curry place. True. Here's the Rolling Stones. The Hauraki Big Show with Jason Hoyt, Mike Minogue and Keezy. You two there on the Radio Hauraki Big Show this Wednesday evening. Now listen up. Radio Hauraki is currently running an incredible competition called Nothing But The 90s, eh Pug Sound?

30:38That's right. It's the Nothing But 90s Countdown. Voting has just opened and if you get amongst the votes, you'll be in to win a huge prize pack. Basically, we're trying to find the 500 tunes that pioneered the 90s or that defined the 90s. It was a great decade. I think I was in my prime in the 90s, actually. Really? Yeah. Because you were, what, 43? Yeah, I was still like a real young fella. You would have been like a teenager. Exactly. Full of hormones. Awesome. Now, what I'm finding interesting about the prize pack is that a lot of it is still very much popular today. Yeah, but is it popular today because it was popular in the 90s or is it popular today because it's genuinely cool?

31:21That's a great question. I do find most of the stuff pretty cool. So there's like a pair of Doc Martens in the prize pack, a pair of Chuck Taylors, Casio watch, boombox speaker. I mean, music, you know what I mean? That transcends all decades, Jason. Are there any sort of hats with braided rope on them? Sadly, none. I think they ran out because I've got them all. Yeah, you bought them all. So we couldn't include them in the prize pack. We've also got$1 ,000 cash. That's got no date on it. How good. And the thing about$1 ,000 cash is actually, even if you don't like all those prizes, but they're awesome, you can buy whatever you want.

31:58You can, you know, fill your boots. And who knows, if you win the prize and you get the$1 ,000 cash, I might be willing to sell you a rope-braided hat. I still think they need to have karate shoes in there because they were all the rage in the 90s. I still don't know what you're talking about with the karate shoes. Black slip-on sort of shoes and everyone wanted a pair. Okay. I'll take your word for it. Basically, we want your votes now. We want your top three tunes from the 90s, and you can get your votes in now by texting the word VOTE to 3483. And then, yeah, the voting will end on the 24th of August.

32:33That's all thanks to our mates at Super Liquor. Cheers to 30 years. Yeah, great stuff, mate. Let's have a bit of Nirvana. Yeah. The Hauraki Big Show Podcast. Nirvana there on the radio, Hauraki Big Show this Wednesday evening. Now, coming up after 6 o 'clock, the results of a very, very, very controversial big poll, which was simply tofu yes or no. I was curious to know what our audience, which way they leaned on this. And I think using the word controversial sort of implies that there's a lot of debate, but what I've learned over the last couple of hours is that there's less and less of a debate and just an argument sort of one way.

33:19Yes. And so I'm guessing that the results are going to really swing one way as well. And people are taking it even slightly personal. Someone called me a meat coward on 3-4-A-3 because I like tofu. People are really, really going at it. Tofu, it's real clever stuff. Yeah. But that doesn't, what you see in the text line, doesn't necessarily translate into the poll. That's true. It might be a different audience on Insta at the moment. Heaps of vegetarians on there. But what I found really interesting, you know, when we put this big poll out there, that old tofu boy Pugsan was very cock-a-hoop. I was.

34:00That it was going to be a landslide, yes, scenario. and I said, let's not forget the results after 6 o 'clock. And he was like, oh, no, I don't think we need to look at them. Is that what I was like, was it? You were very hesitant, very hesitant. I was confident. I was much more confident, not in the sense that Tofu would take it out, but in the sense that it would at least be somewhat even and, you know, evenly polarising, I guess. But how wrong I was, Jase, with what the text machine looks like. Yeah, well, the text machine is overwhelmingly now. It started off 50-50, now overwhelmingly against.

34:38Yes, and the official votes are done through the Hauraki Big Show Instagram story. So it's your last chance to get your vote in for tofu, yes or no. I'm obviously, yes, you're a big fat no. Yes, big fat no. And also we have part two of the great curry night debacle with the field.

35:02Weekdays at 4 on Radio Hauraki. You're welcome back, you massive backbones. Hope your Wednesday night's going along very nicely indeed. You're listening to the Hauraki Big Chode, brought to you by Reburger. Handcrafted burgers, loaded fries, and gourmet eats that'll change the game. Yes! All you need to feed. What? All you need to feed. What is that? That's my new term. That sounds like somebody else's catchphrase from back in the day or another restaurant maybe. You really are in a mood today No, I'm not in a mood I'm just calling it how I see it, man I love you Now listen Jase Thanks, Pugs I mean, I love you too Ah, that's all good As you were I don't love your hat today Oh, that's okay That doesn't define me But I like the person Knee fit Nice Now listen, we had the big pole And it literally did blow up Yeah, it did It's blown up in my face Yes Massively And it was a very simple question.

36:01Tofu, yes or no? So right now it's time for... Are we doing that now, are we? Yeah, I think so. The Big Pole.

36:19What do you got for me, tofu boy? That is a new name that's not hanging around, all right? Keezy loves new names. I thought you loved new names as well. Do I look like Keezy?

36:33Okay, the big poll today. Every vote here in the draw for a$50 reburger voucher. Tofu, yes or no, with 81 %? No. Wow. No. I am genuinely surprised by that. Yeah, yeah. Me too. I thought it'd be like a smaller margin. I thought it might be 50-50-ish. I mean, I expected there to be more no's than yes's. I did think it would be. Yeah, it got absolutely smoked. That is a thrashing. Yeah. That is bend down, put your ass in the air, and slapping, slapping, slapping. So that's 81 % of people can't figure out how to cook tofu, eh? Crazy. Who's this, Jase? In excess. The Hauraki Big Show with Jason Hoyt, Mike Minogue, and Keezy.

37:27Oasis there on the Radio Hauraki Big Show this Wednesday night. Now, we want to send out a big thank you to all of the Big Show overseas listeners because, as previously stated a couple of days ago, we got an SOS message from Mogey. That's right. Basically saying that he's in London, he's by himself, he wants to get on it with someone and it's boring just doing stuff by himself. And so if you were in the London area, get in touch with him. He'd meet you at a pub, have a few responsible beersies. Take a few photographs for a cheap price. And spend the entire day with you. Yeah, whatever you wanted to do around London.

38:09And I was very heartened to see that he got a response. That's right. This fella, Charlie, gave me a message on Instagram there, and he said, I've been trying to get in touch with Mogi, and I was going to get you to help, but now he's come back. And Mogi's agreed to go to an Arsenal football game over there with some backbones, Charlie, and some mates there. And I put that up on the Horeki Big Show Insta, and it's great to see that there's a few other expats, Kiwis, over in London that are keen to meet up at whatever pub they go to before or after the game. Well, isn't it lovely, Pugs? Yeah. You know what I mean, that he's got some buzzy buddies?

38:47100%. 100%. And it's great to see Kiwis bonding over getting on the hammer responsibly. And I tell you what, if you're over in London or whatever, what a great thing to do to go to a Premier football match. 100%. Because even if you're not really into football, soccer. Or if that's not your team or whatever. Whatever. The atmosphere would be so magnificent. So he's going to have a few beersies with the fellas. Yep, yep. Then they're going to go to the Arsenal match, and who knows what happens after that. Well, I can probably, I mean, we can all probably imagine what happens after. I'm still trying to figure out the time difference.

39:21Someone had a go at me on the text machine yesterday, forgetting the time difference wrong. So for context, four o 'clock this morning in the UK is four o 'clock this afternoon in New Zealand. So they are behind. Right. So I'm guessing because it's Wednesday he wanted to go and hang out with people, eh? So that's what he'll be doing tomorrow morning. No. Yeah, tomorrow morning here, he'll be at the game. Yes. Tonight. Does that make sense? Yeah, vaguely. Was that a massive waffle? I kind of just, yeah, I kind of just switched off. Yeah, fair enough. Time chat. Yeah. But it is confusing. It is confusing.

39:59So thank you to the backbones over there helping out lonely old Moogie on his overseas trip. And if you see him, take a pic with him, send it to us at Hariki Big Show. Maybe I'll do a little compilation. Beautiful. The Hauraki Big Show with Jason Hoyt, Mike Minogue and Keezy. Arctic Monkeys there on the radio. Hauraki Big Show this Wednesday evening. Now we're into part two of a best bit, we call them. This is old school big show where we look back over the years and all the stuff we've done. And this particular story pertains to basically Keezy disgracing himself on the first ever curry night.

40:39That's right. The Curry Night's become a really big part of the show. It sort of started not too long after I came along. I think you had done it before I had started. Maybe once. Yeah, yeah, yeah. But then I went to my first, this was talking about the first ever Curry Night that I went to as producer of the big show. Let's get into it. It's a very involved story where the whole team went out for the Curry Night. So you'll have to excuse us. we're having to stretch it out over time to get all the sort of details in there, aren't we, Minogue? By the way, go to our Instagram page. There's a little selfie that I took of the show having the curry there, and already you can see with old Kesey, he was four sheets to the wind even by then, Minogue.

41:23He had only just started. Yeah. You must be tucking into them at work. I don't know. But, yeah, so we sort of, we managed to get through the dinner there. It was sort of, there was one point there we had to sort of grab Kesey by the shoulders because, as you say, he knocked over his beer and broke that wine glass. You forgot the massive F-bomb I dropped, which cleared the restaurant. Oh, totally. I forget it. I was just trying to sort of do you. I'll bear you. Thanks, mate. And, of course, he's seen the beer on the table and he doesn't want to waste it, so he's gone in for a big table suck. Yeah, yeah.

41:59That's right. And, you know, we had to try and keep him away because the glass was still in it. So, yeah, a bit hairy. And then, of course, curries, it turns out, they don't really agree with you, eh, the spicy ones? Especially the really hot ones, Keezy, do they? Because you were sweating bullets. I was fine. No, I was totally sweet. I don't know what you're talking about. And then we have a scenario where Keezy's like, fellas, fellas, they've got some bogs here. Is that how I was talking? They've got some bogs here. And we're like, yes, Keezy, just, you know, down there, mate. and so I sort of escorted him to the toilet because he was weaving all over the place.

42:36Left him to it. Bad move, Hoity J, Minogi. Oh, why? Why was it a bad move? Because I'll tell you why. 20 minutes later, the owner of the restaurant, who you knew very well, Mike. I can't remember her name. What's the name again? Well, I don't want to give it away on air, but I don't want to point to the restaurant. Came up to us looking very embarrassed. Why was she so embarrassed? Because basically someone had laid one out in the urinal.

43:12Had they? I wonder who that was, man, because that's not okay. That's not okay at all. And I don't remember seeing that. And unfortunately, your swipe card for NZME for the studios here was sticking out of it like a wafer out of an ice cream sundae.

43:31But I'm wearing it now, my swipe card. Oh, we... We made them clean it up. We got them to clean it up, but that was really awkward, and... Boy, oh boy, I tell you. Surely that's where the night ended, right? We just left after that, and nothing else happened. Well, you know, there was... We will spare you the rest of the details. Suffice to say, look... It was an eventful night. It was an eventful night. I took Keezy home. He did a bit of a power bomb on the dashboard. and I took him into his bed and took him home and laid him on the old bed there. A bit of a mess as well in that regard, but I won't go into that and just left him to it.

44:08But hey, hey, a fun night. Actually, I've just had a thought, Pugson, that when the fellas get back, we should have another curry night. Yeah, I think we're due for one, actually. Yeah, it's been a while. Because Keezy was three weeks away, and then Mike now for two weeks away. So yeah, we're definitely due for one. I'm just, I don't know, that brings back a lot of trauma for me. Yeah, well, there was certainly a fair amount of trauma with Keezy, but we got through it in the end. Not a great early impression, though. It really stuck with me, especially the urinal. Yeah. Oh, jeez a bit, Aggie. Yes, indeed, REM there on the radio, Hauraki Big Show.

44:47Now, listen, great news. Not only are the fellas going to be back next week, it's going to be a full show, but even better than that, We're going on the road again, Pugsan, to the beautiful city of Wellington, to the Parrot Dog Brewery on the 21st of August. That's exactly right. Great vibrato there, Jase. Thanks, mate. I'm excited to be heading home. I've done a couple of live shows from the actual Bearvana event, but this time we're taking it to a pub. All access. Anybody can come, and we want you to be there. We want you to knock off early. Obviously, the show starts at 4, and the first, I think, maybe 100 people in the door or something, You'll get a free Backbone T-shirt as well.

45:26Yeah, nice. Just remind me, because that's in Lyle Bay, is it? Yeah, yeah. Where's Lyle Bay in Old Welly? Lyle Bay's the one that's sort of near the airport. Ah, gotcha, yes. Sort of a beautiful, moody, coastal sort of beach. Oh, I love it. Catches a great drafter. It's lovely out there. Lovely driving along the bays from there too. But we want you to be there Thursday the 21st of August. It's a bit of a warm-up session because Beervana kicks off on the Friday, so we're going to do it on the Thursday before Beervana. Yes, great stuff. And the good thing about it too, actually, is because the last couple of live shows that we've done, we haven't had the full show.

46:01Yeah, that's true. Weirdly enough. Yeah, and they've gone 100 % great. Yes. But we've missed the fellas. Yes. And so it's going to be an extra big one down in the capital. We love Welly. We want to see you there. And also make the trip down. We're giving you so much notice that you might as well travel to get there, right? Well, I mean, not if you're in Auckland or whatever. I mean, I wouldn't go that far. I disagree. I think you should get a plane or get a car. I mean, we're not that good. Get a car, it's like an eight-hour drive. I mean, there's a chance it'll be a terrible show too. And I mean, if you've travelled all the way down from Auckland Park, you'd be pissed off.

46:29We've just spent like two minutes talking about how it's going to be a great show. Then you have to pay for accommodation probably because you've come all that way down, which is going to cost you, plus petrol. Then you have to drive all the way back. You've probably got a whore of a hangover. It was a terrible show. So no, I mean. I can't believe you're saying it's going to be a terrible show. It's literally going to be great. I'm not. You're saying come from anywhere. Yes, please do. Come from anywhere to the live show. We want to see you there. I don't understand what the issue is. Fine. The Hauraki Big Show with Jason Hoyt, Mike Minogue and Keezy.

47:08Well, there you go, you mad bastards. That's a big show done and done. Another one crossed off the list there, Pagu-san. Yeah, man, only two more to go. The Big Show, the Spoon Boy and the Jets. Yeah, man, crazy stuff. I'm worried about what those stings are going to do. when the other fellas get back, are they just going to get pushed into the archives? No, I don't think so. We're definitely going to play them to the fellas. Okay, good. Because they're too good to waste. Now, on the podcast outro today, there was a lot going on. It turned into a bit of a therapy session, as it often does for Hoity J.

47:35A lot of schoolboy chat about our schoolboy days, both obviously different generations. You know, me went to school sort of 2007 to 2018. You were sort of like 1800s. And so I was just talking about the main differences and like the corporal punishment and stuff like that. Yeah, like when I was at school, it was sort of Charles Dickens times. You know what I mean? Yeah, yeah, yeah. And like riding on cave walls. Freezing cold cloisters and caning and brutality. Well, this clip's called The Ruler that Dilly's made. And I'll never forget it. Unnecessary noise conduct. Wow. So I was caned four times by two separate teachers for asking for a f***ing rule.

48:20True story, that. True story. Yeah, and that's when it kind of turned into therapy session. It did, actually. Well, it's not right, man. And I'm glad you had a place to vent it safely. Yeah, well, that's right. And everybody can listen to it for free on the iHeartRadio app. I didn't mean for it to turn into a therapy session. It just did, Puckson. You know what I'm saying? That's completely fair, and I'm really glad that we've opened up a safe space for you to have that dialogue. Thanks, mate. Hey, now check out the Instagram. Yeah, new video and new post. It's a cracker too, the new video with all the fellows on board.

48:50Yeah, because I miss them. And also check out the podcast till tomorrow. See you later. Bye.