FULL SHOW: Traffic Controller Mogey

8:28Mogey:You can vote on the Hauraki Big Show's Instagram poll there. Oh, yeah. Everyone that texts on 3483 or calls on 0800 Hauraki in the draw for a$50 Reburger voucher. In the meantime, here's Kings of Leon. The Hauraki Big Show with Jace, Mike and Keezy. Tune in weekdays at four on Radio Hauraki.

8:47Keyzie:Oasis there on the Radio Hauraki Big Show this Thursday afternoon. The time is 4.24. We're talking office work dues. It's that time of year again, Christmas, where the office has a Christmas party or something like that. And whether or not you're into the yay or nay, we've got Toby on the line. G'day, Toby, you mad bastard. How's life? Yeah, g'day. How are you, Jay? Life's good, man. Life's good. Good on you, mate. What do you do for a crust, Toby? I'm a product development specialist. Oh. I mean, I've got no idea what that is, but there you go.

9:23Mogey:No, it's good, though. Neither do I. Hey, Toby, are you fun? Do you like having work dues, man? Or are you an old grumpy bastard like these two and you hate them? I'm fun, but I'm an old grumpy bastard when it comes to work dues. I think realistically no one really wants to be there, do they? Everyone talks awkwardly to each other and can't really hold a conversation outside of work chat.

9:43Jase:It'd be nice to get paid to be there, man. Yeah, look, it would be good to be paid to be there, and I won't lie to you, I was paid to be there, and it was all put on for free. That's a fair point, Moggy. But let's be honest, we don't want to be there. We're there by obligation. Yes.

9:58Mogey:See, that's interesting, man. Thank you so much for your contributions, Toby. We'll flick you a$50 re-burger voucher, all right? Oh, thanks.

10:05Keyzie:Is that Keezy?

10:06Mogey:Yeah, mate. Here we go. Yeah, it is. G'day, Keezy. G'day, mate. G'day, mate.

10:09Keyzie:Love you. Can I just make an observation? Oh, no, you go, Keezy, because I think he makes a really good point, and that's the point I was trying to make. Often they're very awkward of fears. Yes. And I was coming into work the other day. It was about 1 o 'clock in the afternoon, and there was a big table outside this bar that we walked past every day, and there was probably 10 or 15 of them. And then when we were coming back after the show, Keezy and I, they were still there, and it was the most awkward-looking scenario. No one was talking, and it was obviously some sort of work due by the number of people, and everyone was just sitting there just quietly sipping their beers.

10:48Mogey:See, that particular group of people, yes, considering they'd been there all afternoon, it should have been way more raucous than that. I came from a job where we should have had a lot of work do's and we never really did. And I was always really gutted. I was like, we were such a fun group of people and for some reason our boss never, ever put on a work do for us. Yeah, right. So when I came here, especially when I first started and it was like work do's galore, this is pre-lockdown and stuff. Yeah. It was just the most amazing thing ever. Yeah. I'm starting to think it's a correlation between your age and what you've got at home, whether you've got family and stuff.

11:22Mogey:And for a lot of people, like we work in a fun industry.

11:26Jase:We've got a lot of extroverts around here, a lot of chronic alcoholics, a lot of drug addicts, all that sort of stuff. So it sort of lends itself to a certain amount of partying. But a lot of people out there, you work with each other. You don't have to be best friends. And there's a million ways to say thank you to the people that you work with. And it doesn't have to be getting on it and having a few beers together. It can be chuck some food on or give somebody a bonus or something like that. You don't have to be forced into a social situation where you have to pretend that you give a shit about what they do outside of work.

12:01Mogey:Right. It's interesting because I do care what everyone does outside of work. Absolutely.

12:04Jase:Yeah, in this case. But I'm saying there's a lot of people out there who probably, we're just here to work. We can, you know, we sell the staples and then we go home.

12:11Mogey:Yeah, right. Okay. Yeah.

12:13Jase:Because there's a text here. Yeah. It says, I've worked with the same bloke for seven years, just him and I and occasionally another worker, we don't do a work piss-up because he can't be bothered. So he just gives me two grand cash every year. Instead, I end up at one of the boys' work dues with a little bit of this and a little bit of that for the funds. Funds for the fun, you know what I mean? Sure, yeah. And he said it's a win-win for everybody.

12:33Mogey:Yeah. I mean, this one here, we've got a fishing charter coming up for our work due. It's going to be grouse. Now, that sounds good. Oh, you see, I'd be into that.

12:41Jase:I'd be into a fishing charter. That would be amazing.

12:43Keyzie:That would be great. Sign me up. Or a golfing thing.

12:47Jase:Right, okay. A doing thing. A doing thing. Yeah, yeah, yeah.

12:50Keyzie:This is the other thing about my wife's do. And, you know, it's at a bowling club. So we're going to be playing bowls. Lord bowls. Great. Yeah, I quite like playing bowls. And my wife was bloody, bloody good at it. I was so surprised because she's actually quite unco.

13:07Jase:Feels like a different topic.

13:09Mogey:Yeah, yeah, yeah. Is Jase's wife unco 3483$50 re-burger vouchers up for grabs? The Hauraki Big Show with Jace, Mike and Kesey. Tune in weekdays at four on Radio Hauraki.

13:22Keyzie:Guns and roses there on the Radio Hauraki Big Show this Thursday afternoon. The time is 4.37. Now, we recently made a sold-out vinyl, didn't we, fellas?

13:32Mogey:Yeah, limited edition podcast on vinyl. It's brilliant stuff. It is the origin story of the big show. So if you've ever been listening and wondered how it all came about, it's there on wax for you.

13:42Keyzie:It's quite a story too, isn't it? Quite a yarn. Quite a yarn. Lots going on, that's for sure. We've got a copy to give away. G'day, Sam, you mad bastard. How's life? Yeah, good, thanks, fellas. How are you? Yeah, good, thanks. Sam, what do you do for a crust? Ah, just a fencer, mate.

13:59Mogey:Ah, backbone. Actually. No, Jase, don't try and get Sam to build you a fence.

14:04Keyzie:No. I was going to say, is there any more backbone job than being a fencer? You know what I'm saying, fellas? You probably have one to beat, mate. Yeah, I reckon. So would you like a copy of that vinyl, Sam? Mate, I would love one. Good stuff.

14:18Jase:All yours, man, just like that. Just like that, man. It's all yours. It's all yours. Imagine that. You're out in the middle of the farm there, just playing back the podcast on vinyl. You got a record player you can take out in the middle of the farm, man?

14:31Mogey:Yeah, mate. Got one hooked up to the tractor. Good on you.

14:34Jase:You got a diesel-powered vinyl player thingy there. Yeah, that's the one, mate. Good on you, babe.

14:41Mogey:All right, Sam, the final's all yours, man. Thanks for listening, all right? Cheers, Tony. Cheers, mate.

14:49Keyzie:Hey, the other thing about my wife's work do, which I didn't mention, it's causing me a great deal of grief. That's coming up this weekend, is it? On Saturday. Jeez. It's a dress-up. Oh, no, okay. So I'm already struggling with the whole concept of the work do. What's exacerbated my problem is that it's a dress-up. You know how I feel about dress-up parties, Phil?

15:11Jase:I feel the same way. What you kind of need, Hoi, do you choose Bob? Is to go with a character that's kind of the same as you and allows you to go pretty much the same as you, but when people say, what are you dressed as, you can just sort of, you know, chuck something out there.

15:23Keyzie:Yeah, well, the theme is your favourite musician. Oh. And one of my favourite musicians is Bob Marley.

15:33Mogey:Yeah.

15:33Keyzie:So I was thinking maybe Bob Marley.

15:35Mogey:Right. Well, hang on, Mogi went as Bob Marley about 30 years ago. Oh, that was Halloween, though. That was a different sort of a thing. Right, okay.

15:40Keyzie:Right, okay. James Brown?

15:44Mogey:Have you got like a one-piece suit? You know, can you do the spins and stuff and the splits?

15:49Keyzie:Oh, I can do the moves.

15:50Jase:Right, you can do the same moves. We're kind of similar looking. Yeah. You know what I mean? I was thinking, as a pitty of musicians, I was thinking Ace Ventura, Pet Detective, because then you'd have the bird shirt. Oh, yeah. You know, you've got the wacky do and all that. So you're pretty much there already.

16:04Mogey:You kind of walk like him. What about, because it's music theme, right? Yeah. Why doesn't your wife go as David Bowie?

16:12Keyzie:Actually, she's very seriously thinking of going as, she looks great in a suit. From Labyrinth.

16:19Mogey:Then you could go as Hoggle.

16:24Mogey:3, 4, 8, 3, if you've got any ideas as to what Jase can dress up as for his music-themed work do. Jase, what do you reckon about that, man? Hoggle. That way you could just get the old costume out from back in the day. Yeah, I mean, it could work. I could pull it off, probably.

16:43Keyzie:In the meantime, here's She-Harty. The Hauraki Big Show. Weekdays from four on Radio Hauraki. The police there on the Radio Hauraki Big Show this Thursday afternoon. The time is 4.47. Let's talk TV. What's on the telly with Mike Minogue?

17:03Keyzie:Hey, yeah.

17:06Jase:Yes. Ah. Last night I watched the second episode of Down Cemetery Road, which is on Apple TV. Yes. And it's from the creators of Slow Horses and Stars, our very good friend, Emma Thompson. It's a story, it's sort of a what the hell is going on sort of a story. There's been an explosion. Somebody's been killed. A child has disappeared. And one of the next door neighbours is trying to work out what's going on. But everybody seems to know something, but be distracted. Just trying to get her to stop. Don't worry about it, Keezer. You know what I mean? Just let it go. Please just let it go. But she's like a dog with a bone.

17:52Jase:She won't give up. Emma Thompson plays a private detective who's helping out. And spoiler alert, something really bad happens to her husband. He gets murdered. Spoiler alert. Second, it's a bit of a weird show. It's at its best when Emma Thompson is in it. She's a bit of a grounding force. She's funny. There's some great dialogue in there. I'll give it three and a half buzzies at the moment. I'm only two episodes in, but I'm going to keep on watching it. It's a lot better than a lot of the other muck that's going around at the moment. I am kind of enjoying it. I hope it's got a good payoff at the end.

18:26Jase:Was it Down Cemetery Road? Down Cemetery Road, and it's on your Apple television there. Wow.

18:32Keyzie:I'm watching a thriller at the moment on TVNZ Plus that we started last night. called All Her Fault, starring your mate old Sarah Snook. Oh, yeah, Snooki. Dakota Fanning. Oh, Fanny. When Marissa Irvine goes to pick up her young son Milo from his first playdate with a boy at his new school, the woman who answers the door has never seen or heard of either Marissa or her son beginning every parent's worst nightmare. Yeah.

19:03Jase:That description there is why I will not watch it. Sure. That's not entertainment for me. That's scary. That's stressful. Yeah, yeah.

19:09Keyzie:And it's a very stressful situation. It wasn't bad, actually. It was pretty good. Australian, I think. Australian production. In fact, it is an Australian production. Pretty good. Pretty tense. Pretty thrillery. And I'll give it three buzzies.

19:23Jase:It's a series? It's a series, yes. You're one episode in.

19:26Mogey:Two episodes. Good stuff, fellas. I've been watching a production for a few months now. Guillermo del Toro is involved. Guillermo? Guillermo. Yeah. George Miller. Yeah. Leah Sidhu. George Miller's in it, is he? Yeah, George Miller's in it as well. The director, Mad Max, of course. Yeah, Jace Happy Feet. Yeah. Al Fanning, Norman Reedus as well. Why are you looking at me and smiling, Kesey? Because it's a PlayStation 5 game that I've been playing. Oh, yeah. And they're actually all in it as themselves. Right. But holy shit, I've been playing it for so long and I just need it to finish now. Really good.

20:01Mogey:Death Stranding 2, it's called. Right. Four buzzies out of five.

20:04Jase:I don't think gaming counts in this segment. No. And in fact, moving forward, I want you to know that it's banned. Well, it was on my telly. Explicitly banned. It was on my telly. TV shows and movies is what we do here. If you want your own gaming segment, you and Pugs aren't out there. You can go into the kitchen and have a chat.

20:21Mogey:I've had numerous people. We'll make a sting for it. I've had numerous people come up to me and say, hey, Keezy, man, you sometimes mention gaming, but you never say what games you're playing. So I'm just doing it for them.

20:30Jase:Look, I'm not saying we shouldn't be.

20:31Keyzie:You and Mike is right. you and Pug should do a gaming podcast. Geek boys. Geek boys. That's got a good ring to it. Thanks, man. You can use that, Keezy. Geek boys. Yes. Thanks, Jase. And don't ever do that again. I'm with Mogey. No gaming on TV chat. Listen to you old fogies.

20:54Mogey:No work do's, no gaming chat. What is this?

20:57Keyzie:Rage Against the Machine. Oh, yeah.

20:59Mogey:Don't mind it. The Hauraki Big Show with Jace, Mike and Keezy. Tune in weekdays at four on Radio Hauraki.

21:08Keyzie:Welcome back, you massive backbones. Hope your Thursday is going along very nicely indeed. You're listening to The Big Show, incidentally, brought to you by Reburg Gear.

21:18Mogey:Crave-worthy street food freshly made with Reburg Gear. Reburg Gear! Yum, yum, yum, yum, yum, yum, yum, yum, yum, yum.

21:30Keyzie:Great stuff. Yeah, just to reiterate there, by the way, New Zealand wrapping up the T20 series against the West Indies, three to one. Fellas are the first one day on the Sunday, and we've got a double pass to give away to that match, which we'll be giving away this hour, I think, Keezy.

21:46Mogey:We certainly will. Yeah, Sunday, two o 'clock. You're good, man?

21:50Keyzie:You're all right, man?

21:51Jase:It's emotional way when it gets to this time of year and there's one day to start. Yeah.

21:55Mogey:It's just like finally we're into the real stuff, you know?

21:58Keyzie:Yeah, yeah, totally, man.

21:59Mogey:Start choking up a little bit.

22:00Keyzie:Yeah, get emotional.

22:01Mogey:But we will be giving away a double pass. I believe that game is down in Christchurch. Oh, yeah, it might be. Yeah. Might be. Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. So stay listening. We'll say when and then call on 0800HORAKI. You can win yourself a double pass.

22:14Keyzie:Not yet. Whoever just rang then. Hey, in the meantime, let's get back to some tunes. What's this? The black keys? Yeah. Yeah, good. Tune. The Hauraki Big Show. Weekdays from four on Radio Hauraki. Red. hot Chilly Peppers there on the radio Hodaki Big Show this Thursday afternoon, the time 12 minutes past 5.

22:36Jase:Hey fellas, I've just been thinking a little bit lately about the road rules that you get taught when you're a kid. There's a bunch of them aren't there? I can't remember many of them.

22:46Mogey:One of them was like don't go out on the road. Oh yeah, don't get hit by a truck.

22:50Jase:That was one.

22:51Mogey:It wasn't really a rule, it was just stay away from the road

22:53Jase:or go play on the road was another one Yeah, okay. That's what, yeah. My mum was always saying to us, go play on the road. But one of the rules that they definitely say is before you cross the road, look right, look left, and look right again.

23:13Mogey:Is that what your memory is? I was told to look both ways. Look both ways is what I was told. I remember that.

23:21Jase:When we were coming up, it was look right, look left, and look right again. Your look both ways, Keezy, is wrong. Because if you look right first, then you look left, and then you cross the road, there could be a car's car and you'd be dead. Look out for that, man.

23:35Mogey:I do take ages to turn my head. Yes.

23:38Keyzie:And given the nature of our roads, it almost feels like it should be look left first. Right. And then right. And then left again. And then left again. Because it feels like the cars are coming from the left.

23:50Jase:But you've got the problem now with Keezy. You're now stepping off the sidewalk. You're stepping on a sideboard onto the road. No. The last place you looked was to the left. There's a car coming from your right.

23:59Mogey:That's a silly thing to say, Jase, because the reason you look right is because you're crossing, the cars drive on the left side of the road, so they're always going to be coming from your right.

24:07Jase:You look to the right because that's the one that offers you imminent danger, Jase. Oh, okay. It's a shame that you're learning this at 39, I've got to say.

24:14Keyzie:I've got mixed up because my feeling is by looking left, you're looking at the inside lane.

24:19Jase:That's not the inside lane. That's the farthest lane away. Okay, picture us crossing the road after work. It's all good. Keezy, I'm just going to talk to you now. I didn't realise it was going to be this complex. But I did wonder why we bother looking to the right first. Because if you look to the right first, yeah, that's your imminent danger one. That's this side of the road is coming. Okay. There's nothing there.

24:41Mogey:Okay.

24:42Jase:Then I look to the left. Scooby.

24:44Mogey:We're all good.

24:45Jase:There's nothing coming that way. Now I'm looking to the right again.

24:48Mogey:I think it's a measure twice, cut once thing, isn't it? Yeah, yeah. Yeah, well, that's what I'm saying, though.

24:52Jase:But I'm saying, what's the point? So why don't I just start by looking left, nothing coming, looking right, nothing coming, cross the road. Why am I going right, then left, then right, if the only one that matters is the final right? The first right doesn't matter if I'm going to do another right later after my left. You see what I'm saying?

25:12Mogey:I think it's a double-checking. Have you heard the term double-check?

25:16Jase:Yes, but it's got no point to it, is my point.

25:18Mogey:But, like, for example, I know there's a rule with motorbikes. Look twice for motorbikes because, you know, it's a genuine rule. If you're going to overtake or if you're driving in traffic.

25:28Jase:Absolutely. That makes sense to be really sure. But what I'm saying is there's no point looking to your right if you're then going to look to your right after you've looked left. Just look left, then look right. Why don't we change it to, like, look left? I reckon we should change it to look both ways.

25:44Mogey:Hang on. That's what I wanted it to be. What it's like look left And then have a really good look right Yeah that's it Like a really thorough right

25:54Jase:Look both ways But right last

25:57Mogey:Yeah okay I think that's I'm glad we sorted that out

26:00Jase:Has it got a ring to it or something? But I am curious about that genuinely now Like why are we bothering with that? I don't know It seems like a waste of my time Like I've got stuff to do I can't be standing around all day Looking right Then left Then right again

26:13Mogey:Yeah totally That takes up so much time It does I see your point. Jase, can you never ever walk to work or from work without me, please? Because I'm really worried about you. Sure, man. Might put a little vest on you.

26:29Keyzie:Get a little lollipop. I'm still trying to work it out in my head, actually. I still feel like looking left is the way to do it. The Hauraki Big Show. Weekdays from four on Radio Hauraki. David Bowie there on the Radio Hauraki Big Show this Thursday evening. The time is 5.25.

26:46Jase:Guys, we've been having a chat about the road rule that you look right, then left, and then look right again before crossing the road. I was sort of wondering why you bother with the second right. Why not just start with the left? All good. Go to the right. All good. Cross the road. Instead of going right, then left, then right. There's a lot of text coming through here on 3483 saying you start left, then you go right, then you go left. It's not accurate.

27:07Mogey:What about this one here? Just keep looking. Just keep looking. So, like, look right.

27:11Jase:You can't look both ways, though, Keezy.

27:12Mogey:But you look right, and then you look left, and then you just start crossing and you check right, then you check left, then you check right, then you check left.

27:18Jase:I think you do do that, but you do do. Do do. You do do. But my point is the road rule that's been created in New Zealand where they tell you to look right, look left, and look right again. Right. You see what I'm saying? So I'm just questioning the idea behind it. Now, while we've been discussing this, it became clear that Jase doesn't know how to cross the road. I just gum it. In his mind, he looks right and then crosses the road, but the traffic is coming from the left on the other side of the road. I'm not sure what's going on. He looks left first. Left first as if the traffic is on his side of the road.

27:52Jase:But it's not. And it's not. It's actually on the other side of the road. Yeah. So we just want to run something here with you, Joseph, because we're worried about you, man. Like, your eyesight's not great. And if you're looking in the wrong direction and stepping out into traffic, God knows what could happen to you.

28:04Mogey:Well, I'm just thankful that I walk back to our cars together with you every day.

28:08Keyzie:You saved me a few times from rogue lime scooter bastards.

28:12Mogey:Because he'll just sort of run out. He'll just take off across it. I'll just grab him by the collar. Yeah, pick him up. Pull him back and be like, no, no, mate, wait here. Then I'll hold his hand. Yeah.

28:20Jase:Okay. So we're going to do a little simmo here, fellas. All right. Can I get a little bit of road noise, man? All right. Okay. There we go. Now, Jase, you come and stand over here in the middle, man. Keezy, if you want to go on the other side. And, Jase, if you could just hold our hands.

28:37Keyzie:Yeah. Thanks, fellas.

28:41Jase:Now, if you see.

28:41Keyzie:Are you like my dad or something?

28:44Jase:Get off the road, Jase. Get off the road, for God's sake.

28:47Mogey:Your hands are clammy, man. Can I get some floaty shoes like Keezy? Okay, Jase, Jase, you need to take this seriously, right? Because this is about safety.

28:58Keyzie:Can I just absolutely, and I appreciate it, what side of you am I on? You're in the middle, mate.

29:05Jase:Oh, okay. Okay, so Keezy's on your right. Yes. And I'm on your left. I don't know if that helps you in any way, though. Okay, so... We're facing the road. Okay. Okay? Yeah. Now, we're going to cross the road. Now, the first thing you want to do, mate, what do you want to do first? I want to look left there, at Mogey. No. At the traffic on the other side of the road. That's no good. Well, in fact, I agree. No, I know, but for this, we'll stick to the government. We'll stick to the government rules. Okay. Okay. So you want to look to your right, Jase, because that's where the traffic is closest to you.

29:34Keyzie:I can't see anything because Kesey's floaty shoes are in the way.

29:38Mogey:Yeah, well, it's not my fault you come up to my shoes. If you weren't so short, maybe you'd be able to see.

29:44Jase:Stand on your tiptoes, man. Okay.

29:46Mogey:All right, is anything coming?

29:48Keyzie:Not that I can see, Keezy. All right, now look to your left. Okay, well, I can't see anything because Mogi's massive honkers in the way. Right, okay.

29:56Jase:I can't help it if I'm lying down on the ground. Oh, out of the way, Jase.

29:59Mogey:Oh, gosh. Okay, Jase, look right. Is anything coming on the right? Oh, cars. Okay, wait for a gap. Now! Now, okay. Okay, off we go.

30:11Jase:Okay, we're off. All right. Okay. Now keep looking. You've sort of got to keep your swivel on, man. Keep your head on the swivel.

30:18Keyzie:Jase, look left. Oh, God.

30:22Jase:Is there anything coming the other way? That was close, Jase. That's why you've got to keep looking, man. Right, okay. Okay, keep going. Okay, okay. Keep going. Jase, look up.

30:30Keyzie:Oh, bloody hell.

30:32Jase:Careful, Jase. Careful. You've got to keep your eyes open, man. You guys are meant to be helping me.

30:37Mogey:It's not our fault that this is a seven-lane highway.

30:39Jase:It's a seven-lane, all right. so we're back at the start again. Now here we go. We're off again. Here we go. Let's go. Go.

30:44Mogey:Okay, look right. Okay. Look left. My right or your right? Your right. Stage right. Stage right, yeah.

30:53The Hauraki Big Show. Weekdays from four on Radio Hauraki.

30:57Keyzie:Foo Fighters here on the Radio Hauraki Big Show this Thursday afternoon. Now the first one day against the West Indies starts on Sunday in Christchurch. We've got a couple of tickets to give away. The phone lines have been inundated. Let's go to them now. G'day, Hoops, you mad bastard. How's life? Yeah, very well, thanks. What are you, Jay? How are you? Yeah, good, thanks. Mate, how did you get the name Hoops? It just comes from my last name, Hooper. It just sort of stuck. Oh, yeah. We're so original with our sort of nicknames, aren't we? I know. I know. I thought you might like a bit of B-ball or something like that, Hoops.

31:34No, not at all, actually.

31:36Keyzie:He hates it. Do you hate it? Wow, okay. So you're obviously a cricket fan, Hoops? Oh, big a time. Yeah. Yeah, love it.

31:46Jase:Anyone else want to have a chat with Hoops? I'll have a chat with you, Hoops, man. What do you do for a crust, you mad dog? That's what I was waiting for you to ask. I'm a teacher. Oh!

31:56Keyzie:Backbone. What do you teach, Hoops? A bit of everything, yeah. Yeah, right. A bit of cricket as well. Yeah, you're nice. Backbone.

32:06Mogey:Are you free on the old Sunday there, Hoops, to go along to Hagley Oval? Oh, I can be. Yeah, all right, mate. Well, that double pass is all yours, man. Enjoy the game. Beauty. Thanks, Keezy. No worries, mate.

32:17Jase:Love your Hoops, man. Bloody exciting stuff, isn't it, Jase? So we've got a few one-dayers coming up. The first one down in Christchurch there. Hoops will be there, man. Yeah, totally. He's a teacher. He's going to be there. He teaches a bit of cricket. Keezy, did you hear about that? Yeah. In terms of the rankings, Jase, do you know where we're sitting in the ODI team rankings in the world?

32:34Keyzie:I'd say we'd be doing pretty good, actually. Maybe third?

32:38Jase:We're in second position behind India. And you'll find the West Indies are sort of wallowing down in ninth position. Yes. So you'd expect us to be able to tell these bastards, is it?

32:50Keyzie:No trouble. Yeah, well, we did a good job with them. A couple of close games, actually, to be fair in the T20 series. But I would say that actually the West Indies are better in the T20 than they are in the one day, as a general rule.

33:01Jase:I think the longer it goes, the worse they get. Yeah, I agree. But there was a couple of years ago, I don't know if you remember there, where the West Indies went over to Australia and they took out a Test match. Do you remember that? I bloody do. Two or three years ago. Jeez, it was a hell of a game. That young baseballer came on and tore Australia apart. It's one of the greatest days of my life. So we've got the one days, but the thing I'm really looking forward to is the Test series. We get three tests.

33:26Keyzie:Yeah, and also, of course, let's not forget the Ashes coming up. That turns me on, Keith.

33:31Mogey:Guys, I'm so fired up for all that cricket.

33:34Keyzie:The ashes in Australia, there is no better cricketing spectacle. I'm relatively sure that that happens Friday week. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Not far away.

33:44Jase:So a week from tomorrow, Keezy. I'm fizzed up. Circle that in your calendar. No, I'm going to, man. I'm fizzed up. Here's Queen to the Stone Age. The Hauraki Big Show. Weekdays from four on Radio Hauraki.

33:55Keyzie:Midnight Oil there on the Radio Hauraki Big Show this Thursday evening.

34:00Mogey:Hey, fellas. Tonight after the show, me and old Pugson, we're going along to a swanky do. Sounds like Scooby's cool cousin. Swanky do.

34:11Keyzie:So you're going to get changed after the show?

34:12Mogey:No, I'm wearing my swanky clothes. When? Now.

34:16Jase:Oh, okay. This is what I'm wearing to the do. I don't understand swank. I never have. Really? Because you're a massive swanker.

34:24Mogey:Yeah, what it is, is it's not like super classy. No, it's definitely not.

34:28Keyzie:Definitely not that.

34:28Mogey:No, hang on, let me finish. but it's like nicer than just going to work. Right.

34:33Keyzie:Oh, okay. Is it?

34:34Mogey:Yeah, yeah, yeah. So that explains why I'm wearing what I'm wearing. Right. But the issue I've got is it's an event for PlayStation. It's 30 years of PlayStation, which is very exciting, putting on drinks and blah, blah. However, people that are also invited there are a lot more famous than I am. We're talking influencers. Right, okay. You know, the creme of the crop. Like the creme?

34:53Keyzie:Dweeb influencers. What does that mean? Well, you know, gamers.

34:57Mogey:No, no, no. This is the thing. They don't just target gamers. It's just like heaps of the warriors are going to be there. Oh, okay. You know, like cool people from other radio stations will be there. I didn't get an invite. Neither did I. I'm quite surprised by that. Yeah, that's really weird. But I don't know how to act in a situation like that because I'm just on the frigging Hodaki Big Show, you know. We're small fry. Yeah. Yeah, you are. I don't know how to act. You know, we are so small fry, all three of us. I just don't know how to act around the big dogs. Right. Yeah. So what should I do?

35:27Keyzie:Oh, you've got to be a dickhead for a start. People will respect guys that are dickheads.

35:31Mogey:Right, how do I do that? I don't know how to do it.

35:33Keyzie:Oh, just strut around like you own the place. A strut? Yeah. Quaff as many free drinkies as you can.

35:41Mogey:Well, that's not being a dickhead. That's just being...

35:42Keyzie:Just be really loud and obnoxious. Right, okay.

35:46Jase:I reckon if you walk in there and just sort of do a lap, get a vibe for the place, Keezy. Scope it out? Yeah, yeah, yeah.

35:51Mogey:Because I've got my sunnies in my pocket. I could scope it out, do a lap with the sunnies on inside.

35:57Jase:Yeah, that's good. And then just start a Keezy chant. Yeah, Keezy, Keezy, Keezy. No, I don't. That just lets people know that you're there. Now, obviously, you're going to need some people to join in the chant. Otherwise, you are going to look like an absolute idiot.

36:13Mogey:No one there is going to know what a Keezy chant is. Pugs will be there. Pugs will be there.

36:17Jase:So you set Pugs up on the other side of the room, and he starts Keezy-ing back to you. Right. But is anybody cooler than somebody that's having their name chanted? I don't know. I don't know about that. Yeah, I'd agree with that.

36:27Keyzie:But also, well, I don't think you need to worry because if Pugs is going to be there with you, everyone knows who Pugs is. Yes. So, you know, you just sit in his wake there.

36:37Jase:The other thing that you do is you have a quiet word with one of the wait staff when you get there that bring around the hors d 'oeuvres. The hors d 'oeuvres. And you tell them that it's your birthday and you get the wait staff to come out and sing you happy birthday.

36:50Mogey:Right, okay. I feel like – Because people love a birthday boy. Totally they do. Right, okay. So I'm kind of trying to make it about myself and then turn it into my own birthday party.

37:01Jase:And that's a good thing to do. Because you've got a birthday the same day as PlayStation.

37:05Mogey:Yeah, wow, that's a good idea. Okay. I was thinking of just sort of like, you know, trying to strike up conversations with people, find things that we have in common. What could you have in common with a player from the Warriors, Gizzy?

37:16Jase:I mean, they let their Warriors jerseys get dirty.

37:21Mogey:Yeah, true. I don't know. A lot of people I've met hate the Big Show. I guess that's what I've got in common with them. The Hauraki Big Show, weekdays from four on Radio Hauraki.

37:34Keyzie:Smashing pumpkins here on the Radio Hauraki Big Show this Thursday evening.

37:38Mogey:Hey, fellas, Saturday, November 29th at Sweatshop Brew Kitchen up here in Auckland, the Kiwi Pong World Series is taking place thanks to Sobeer. It's like sober, but with a beer like the animal put in it. special gummies you take after a night out to wake up fresh $10 ,006 on the line fully sold out and when I say sold out like every single team slot has been taken there are two slots left however if you are keen head to hodaki.co.nz you just need a mate and a name for your team hodaki.co.nz I'll be playing I think I'm teaming up with Minaya I'll see you there and you could win$10 ,006

38:14Jase:Right so there's two spots left but that's one team and it can only be won through the competition

38:20Mogey:Well, no, there's two spots left for two teams. Oh. But they can both only be won through hauraki.co.nz. Yeah, good stuff, mate.

38:26Keyzie:Now, listen, plenty coming up after 6 o 'clock, including the big poll results. Work dues, yes or no? Yes, if you haven't voted, go and do that right away. Also, I want to have a bit of make-up chat, fellas. Not make-up as in make-up after a fight. I mean slathering it on your face. Oh, putting on, mate. Slathering it on your face. The Hauraki Big Show with Jace, Mike and Keezy. Tune in weekdays at four on Radio Hauraki. Welcome back, you massive backbones. This is The Big Show brought to you by Reburge.

38:57Mogey:Handcrafted bear gears, loaded fries and gourmet eats that will change the game. Okay, and looking ahead to your Reburge report for the week. As the evening rolls in, you can expect crave-worthy burgers with pockets of other variations of gourmet street food. Perfect for dining and takeaway. Now, looking ahead to tomorrow, there's a strong chance of beef, chicken, vegan and vegetarian conditions. But across the week, regardless of what you're seeing outside, you can expect it to be... Yeah!

39:39Keyzie:Yeah, I love that. Reburger Report. Yeah, yeah. I tune in every week to that.

39:44Mogey:Yeah, I kind of wish it would be different. You know what I mean? Like, what's their new to report on at Reburger? It's just, oh, another day, more crave-worthy street food, which is delicious, end of report. You know what I mean? Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah.

39:58Keyzie:Hey, fellas, what a beautiful evening. Just take a moment to enjoy it. Look out there and see the sunshine. Just take a moment.

40:06Mogey:Right, it's just that I'm on the radio. Yeah, we're busy, man. Oh, right, okay. I'm working, man.

40:10Keyzie:You're never too busy to take a moment. You know what I mean?

40:13Mogey:You'd be a shocking employee, man. You're a shocking bastard.

40:16Keyzie:Just enjoy the moment for what it is, fellas. Now, coming up, the results of the big poll are work do's. Yes or no? Go on the Instagram account and vote. Now, now, now.

40:25Mogey:Hodaki Big Show story.

40:29Keyzie:Faith no more. Do-do-do-do-do. The Hodaki Big Show. Weekdays from four on Radio Hodaki. The Cure there on the Radio Hodaki Big Show this Thursday. evening, but right now it's time for The Big Polar

40:51Keyzie:Dish Dish And the question was work do's yes or no? And when I put it to the team Kesey went, what do you mean by that? Of course yes.

41:01Mogey:Yeah, to be honest I was a bit flabbergasted by it. I know that you don't like people, Jase but I like to think that the the greater majority of New Zealanders do in fact like having a beer with their workmates after a tough year.

41:13Keyzie:Yeah.

41:14Mogey:Yeah.

41:14Keyzie:A tough year. I'm not talking about having a beer with your workmates. I'm talking about a work do. Yeah. They're like a big organised event where you all sit in a room and go, hmm, this is awkward.

41:25Mogey:Hopefully where the boss has got their fricking wallet out and actually paying you, you know, and actually shouting beers and doing an activity or something. Hey, Mogey. Yeah, man, absolutely.

41:32Jase:What's your instinct on it, Mogey? I feel like it's 70%. No, and I don't know why. Okay.

41:37Keyzie:Just my vibe.

41:37Mogey:70 % of people don't like work dudes. Yes. Okay.

41:41Keyzie:I'm going to go against you on that and say 60 % of people do like work dudes. Okay. Okay.

41:48Mogey:Go to the Hodaki Big Show Instagram story poll. The result, 75 % of people do like work dudes. Oh, that's good. Yeah.

41:58Keyzie:Okay. So how does that make you guys feel? I'm comfortable in my own skin, Keezy. Yeah. I mean, it's getting a bit sort of stretched and ragged now, but I'm comfortable in it. You know what I'm saying?

42:08Jase:Yeah, that's right. It kind of matches up here, doesn't it? I mean, you and I don't like it, Jase. Yes. But yeah, I think it's quite a lot of people, isn't it? 25 % of people not liking. So that means one out of every four people generally that you talk to at a work do don't want to be there.

42:25Mogey:Only people in our fan, you know, people that like our page. Yes. They're sickos as well, so I don't even know what the rest of society is like.

42:33Keyzie:That's true. Oh, that's a surprising result, actually. I didn't think it would be that high.

42:37Mogey:Well, why don't we? Because someone texted through earlier saying, you know, oh, fishing charter. And then you guys are like, oh, that's cool. Oh, yeah, yeah. Or someone else texts through like a golf day, and you guys are like, yeah, that's cool. Why don't we do that?

42:49Jase:I wasn't as into the golf day.

42:50Mogey:Okay, well, fishing charter then. Why don't we do a fishing charter?

42:52Keyzie:Okay, you sort it out, man. I would absolutely be into a fishing charter. We did a fishing charter before. I had a ball of the time.

42:58Mogey:Yes. Yeah, that's right. We broadcast from a boat. All right, so I don't want to pay for it, though, is the only issue.

43:03Jase:Yeah, well, that's tricky. Why don't you have a word to Bogsy?

43:06Mogey:The CEO.

43:07Jase:The CEO of NZME, yeah, or Toddy.

43:10Mogey:Right, our station manager. Yeah, yeah, yeah, or Wellesley. Jerry Well. To be honest, out of all those people, Jerry's probably the one, he's probably got a boat. Yeah, yeah, he probably would have, actually.

43:19Keyzie:He's probably got staff on the boat, too.

43:21Mogey:Yeah. Well, he has staff at his house, so he's definitely got on his boat.

43:23Keyzie:Yeah, yeah, I'd say so.

43:24Mogey:So if I organise that, if I talk to Jerry, if we get his massive launch, which is staffed and I organise fishing rods and stuff you guys would be keen to do a work do? Yeah where have we go? I don't know Christmas like December It's pretty busy around there I haven't even told you the date yet December is it? Yeah mid-December Mid-December I'm much terrible for what you do Early December

43:47Keyzie:Filming What are you filming? It's none of your beeswax The Hauraki Big Show with Jace, Mike and Kesey Tune in weekdays at 4 on Radio Hauraki Yes, indeed, Velvet Revolver there on the radio. Hodaki Big Show this Thursday evening. Let's have a bit of golf chat. Keezy and I are going to play golf today.

44:07Mogey:Sorry, did you just throw to yourself there?

44:10Jase:Yeah. With no sting.

44:11Mogey:With no sting. You said, let's have a bit of golf chat, and then you just started chatting about it.

44:14Jase:Oh, then we've got a golf sting, haven't we? I forgot about that. Oh, my God, we do have a golf sting. Yeah, man. Isn't that what you meant? Yeah, that's what I meant. I don't know what Keezy was up to. It's hard to know, man, sometimes. I feel like we've gone. It's hard to know sometimes. Yeah, totally.

44:26Mogey:Pugs, the golf stings expired. Oh, God. It's disappeared.

44:31Keyzie:But we were planning on playing golf today, Mogey, and then Keezy quit on me. Okay, why? Do you ever get sick of just telling absolute yarns? He just texted and said, oh, my God, I just want to play, so I'm not that keen now. Oh, my God, you are so full of shit. Maybe next week.

44:45Mogey:I'm going to read out the text verbatim.

44:47Jase:Yeah, please do, man. I'll be honest with you, it doesn't bother me one way or the other.

44:51Mogey:Was it a rain issue? Okay, here's the text, Chris.

44:54Jase:Okay, here we go.

44:55Mogey:Who's this from? This is me to Jace. Okay. I don't know why Minaya pulled out. He just said, can't make it. Sorry.

45:00Jase:He's got nothing on.

45:01Mogey:Even though we chose that time slot, which is only convenient for him and actually really annoying for us. I text Jace. Tomorrow's weather looks better than today. Shall we switch and play then? It's supposed to shower a lot from 11 onwards. Oh, wait, you're filming. That's what I said. Now, hang on a minute.

45:17Jase:That's interesting to me straight away. Yeah. Why did you send the text? Because... You weren't talking to him. You were texting. You could have gone, oh, nah. well he's filming tomorrow so that's no good

45:26Mogey:I didn't realise until after I'd sent the text oh that was another text thank you, I thought it was in the same text

45:33Jase:oh yeah that makes sense

45:34Mogey:the second text was sent five minutes after I was like oh shit that's right he's filming and then Jase says yeah but having said that I don't really want to play in the rain

45:43Jase:yeah you don't like getting your hair wet do you Jase?

45:46Mogey:I was ready to go because you were filming I was like I'll stuff it well we'll play today we'll just take our jacket so he pulled the pin and then I said okay shall we skip Mania's pulled out and then Jase said righto yeah right

45:59Keyzie:see what I'm saying Mogi

46:00Jase:were you a bit down in the dumps today Jase

46:02Keyzie:yeah I got a vibe of that you see what I'm saying I got a vibe the shit I have to put up with hey but on the good side of the golf story the swingers club is back what's that again it's when the big show and the breakfast show get a couple of backbones from out in the audience here to come and play some golf with us

46:20Mogey:that's right this month it is a Movember edition so we'll be doing it in support of Movember. Every dollar you give fuels the program's research and support that help men live healthier and longer lives. Don't wait. Donate now. Oh, how good. Donate now at nz.movember.com. We are looking for two sets of winners, two duos. One duo will represent the breakfast team and play alongside Jerry and Minaya. The other duo will be part of Team Big Show and play alongside Jason and I. And then it's the winner takes the spoils. Yeah, hopefully it's not raining. Oh, then you have to stay home. Yeah, we'll probably have to pull out.

46:54Mogey:We have to pull out. Damn it. Yeah, and tell everyone that I was the one that pulled out.

46:57Jase:Guys, I'm going to be there cheering you on. Fantastic. 100%, man. I really want this victory for the big show.

47:02Mogey:Thanks, guys. We need it. We need it. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Hauraki.co.nz, by the way, if you want to get yourself in the draw, we will be playing at Windross Farm Golf Course, which is in South Auckland. Lovely little spot there. And we will be taking this on the road next year. How good. How good. Hauraki. Next year. Hauraki.co.nz. The Hauraki Big Show. Weekdays from 4 on Radio Hauraki.

47:25Keyzie:Mylon Femmes here on the Radio Hauraki Big Show. Jeez, that takes me back, that tune. Yeah. It really does. Now, fellas, I might have mentioned in passing, I'm doing a bit of filming at the moment. Oh, yes. A remake of Lady Chatterley's Lover. Right. She's been going very, very well. But one of the things, and you'll know this, Mogi, being an award-winning actor, one of the processes that you have to go through when you're acting in a production is make-up. Now, back in the day, I've got to admit, I hated makeup.

47:55Mogey:Yeah.

47:55Keyzie:You know what I mean? It's weird.

47:56Mogey:You have to get used to it.

47:57Keyzie:People tattooing with my face, spraying things on my face, tattooing with my hair. I used to do my head in. Now, here's the thing about makeup trucks that people don't probably realise. A makeup truck. It's generally a truck.

48:13Jase:When you're doing a broadcast, because when you're on location, there will be a truck. Even at studios, they'll have trucks. Right. And you step out, and it's all got mirrors in there and lots of different stations for lots of people to be worked on and have their make-up done. So when you work in TV, more often than not, studio-based stuff, it's got make-up rooms. There's a green room. Yeah, that's right.

48:32Keyzie:No, the green room's separate from the make-up room, obviously.

48:34Mogey:I'm describing the one I'm used to, which is a green room. Yeah, you're right, it is separate. Yeah, but anyway.

48:41Keyzie:And you'll back me up on this, Mogi. The lighting, generally speaking, in a make-up room is horrendous. Yeah, fluorescent. Fluorescent, bright yellow. Often you're called out to set at a ridiculous hour of the morning. You sit down in the makeup chair and you look like an absolute piece of shit. You've got baggy eyeballs, you know, big sacks under your eyes. You've got all these blemishes all over your skin. Sacks around your balls. You know, and you look terrible. Bull sacks. It's like when you're getting a haircut and it's halfway through. You just go, oh, my God, I look like an absolute doofus.

49:18Mogey:But that's the idea, right, is they would need to see every blemish so that they can do a number on it.

49:23Keyzie:But I've turned now. Have you turned? I've turned and now I'm actually loving getting the make-up done. Well, it's because you've turned. Them working their magic on your face, you know what I mean? Putting a bit of moisturiser on, a bit of sunblock, then the foundation, getting rid of the blemishes. then they put stuff in your hair and just play with your hair. And I was thinking to myself, why don't I do this every morning? Because I think you guys agree when I come in from filming, I look hot. I think you look great every day, Jase.

49:58Jase:Jase. Yeah. Why did that kill the conversation?

50:01Keyzie:Like a random nice comment. Exactly. That's why. Why take it back then? And I was thinking to myself, why don't I do that? You know what I mean? You'd have to do it yourself every day. Yeah, that's the only thing. That's the only drawback.

50:13Jase:That is a drawback. And the trouble you've got is at your age, you don't know how to do it. Yeah, that's right. I was talking to a gay mate of mine, and they – well, I can't say they as if it's all of them. And who are they? They're us as well, aren't they, Keezy? But him and his mates, they all run a lot of make-up. So they will be running a foundation, blemish stuff, because you're sort of hanging out with them. And I'm like, you're the same age as me. How is it that you look 25 years younger? Exactly. Number one, they always look after their skin and always have done, but also they run makeup.

50:44Jase:So if you see them in the morning, oftentimes it's like, holy hecka. Yeah, yeah. You're looking pretty grim there, mate. So it is often the truth that, yeah, they're using makeup and they look unbelievable as well. Yeah. So you should get into it, Jase. I really think you should.

50:58Keyzie:Well, I'm thinking maybe I do like a makeup course or something like that, you know what I mean, and can do my own little makeup there in the morning. A little beauty course. Oh, beauty. A little beauty therapy course. And then I could do you fellas in the morning. I could fix your hair up, Keezy.

51:13Mogey:I prefer to be done in the evening, if I'm honest. The Hauraki Big Show with Jase, Mike and Keezy. Tune in weekdays at four on Radio Hauraki.

51:28Keyzie:Well, there you go, you mad bastards. That's The Big Show done and dusted this Thursday afternoon. Hope you enjoyed the show and the podcast outro today. We had to do something that we do every now and then and that's put a disclaimer on it because it was so filthy. Mogi just was in one of those moods and just was so disgusting. We had to warn the audience.

51:49Mogey:Yeah, well, fortunately, Pugs has clipped off said disclaimer. So when you tune in tonight at 7.30 when it comes out, this is what you'll hear.

51:57Keyzie:Actually, can we put a disclaimer on the disclaimer? Yeah. Don't listen to that disclaimer. Yeah, g'day, everyone. Hoody J from The Big Show here. Now, this isn't absolute, but we are thinking about putting a disclaimer on this. We're not thinking about it. This is. Well, are we? This is a disclaimer. Don't play this around your kids. We're putting a disclaimer on this and don't play this around your kids, all right?

52:19Mogey:Yeah, it just gets a bit R18.

52:21Keyzie:It's just a bit filth.

52:21Mogey:Yeah, it's filth. Well, Keezy gets filthy talking about which in particular is a shock.

52:25Jase:Yeah, there's some shocking stuff revolving around.

52:28Mogey:Yeah, yeah, yeah. Do we have to do another one now?

52:31Keyzie:So there you go. There you go. Check it out. Now, what are you up to tonight, Mogi? I've got a TV show that I'm doing.

52:37Jase:Oh, how good. Oh, God. So, yeah, that'll be great. Yes. I'm heading off there now. And it's a show that you've done before. That's all I can say. Okay, great. That's all I can say. Oh, my God. You're going to be on Dog Squad.

52:48Keyzie:Yes. Good luck, mate. Yes. Oh, my God. Hey, now, Keezy, I hope you have a bloody great time at the Gamer Boy convention that you're going to tonight. I'm really looking forward to you chatting about it tomorrow.

53:02Mogey:That's right. It's not a Gamer Boy convention. It's a PlayStation anniversary party. Right. Which I'm stoked about. Yeah, cool. I might want a free one.

53:08Jase:It's right up your alley, man.

53:10Mogey:It is right up my alley. Hey, Jase, what are you doing tonight? Just chilling out, man. Cool. Oh, cool. Yeah, yeah.

53:16Keyzie:Oh, I might work out, do a bit of work out.

53:20Mogey:No, you won't. You've got to learn your lines and chat to my wife, maybe. Chat to your wife, watch Sister Wives, eat some pasta. We'll probably make love at some point, actually. No, you won't. No, you won't.

53:28Keyzie:It is pasta night, actually. Keezy, I'm not happy about it. This is a stuffed pasta, too. I'm not a big fan of that. That's ravioli. And she bought a pre-made sauce. What's that about? That's shocking. That really gets deep inside my goat. What a sauce. Eyes to the front, Keezy. Hey, have a great night out there. We'll be back tomorrow. Till then, see you later.