FULL SHOW: We're On Wax, Baby

6:15Jase:So it might be that. That'll be it. Might be liver failure. I think so. Yes. Could be because I've got shocking bastard of a liver. Yeah, yeah. Shocking bastard. Well, he's got the syphilis in there. Have you got your teeth widened or something? No, I don't believe in that. You were in contacts? I believe that your teeth are the yellower, the better. Totally. Right. Contacts? No, no, no, no. I was going to get some glasses, but I didn't.

6:41Mogey:Oh, maybe it's that. Maybe the thing that looks different is the fact that he was going to get some glasses, but he didn't. Yeah, it could be. I think it's that. Yeah, it could be.

6:47Jase:Yeah, and I need some new sunglasses, but I'm not wearing those at the moment because I haven't bought them yet.

6:51Mogey:It'll be that too.

6:52Jase:Yeah, and I've got to get some new shorts, and I left one of the jandals on that stag do that I went to on the weekend.

6:57Mogey:Yeah, right. So I'm missing the jandal. Is it that? Yeah. Is there anything else you've done?

7:01Keyzie:You haven't had any. It's dry. It's like on the tip of my tongue. Oh, yeah. Yeah.

7:09Jase:I don't know, fellas.

7:10Keyzie:I don't know. You just look really healthy, man. Thanks, guys. Yeah, yeah.

7:13Jase:Appreciate it.

7:14Keyzie:Especially given the weather that we've had lately. It's been pissing down. We haven't had any sun. You're looking very...

7:19Jase:No, it was sunny as this morning. I was out and I had a bit of a tan this morning.

7:24Mogey:Oh, it was sunny as. Oh, okay. Have you been in a tanning bed? No, it was just out in the backyard.

7:31Jase:Oh, you were? Yeah, it was hot as hell in the city today. Jeez, you bronze up real quick. You bronze up real quick. I do. I do. I guess I'm just lucky. Far out.

7:41Mogey:I've got good skin like that. Because when you've got skin like that, it's almost like, you know, the sun comes up and it's almost just like instantly you've got a tan.

7:49Jase:It happened real quick this year for sure.

7:51Mogey:Yeah. It's like the sun was, you know, spraying it on or something.

7:55Keyzie:And you've got, I mean, you've got a naturally olive complexion, Kesey. I do, man. Yeah, you do.

7:59Mogey:But this took me months to get.

8:01Keyzie:You see, this is what I'm concerned about is I'm white alabaster and I'm sort of English rose complexion. Yeah, ruddy bastard. You know, I'm real worried about Boone, but you guys are looking bronzed as.

8:14Mogey:But don't worry about that, Jase, because you are who you are. Yeah, don't worry about that. Yeah, that's true. Don't go and go get a spray tan or anything like that because you've just got to be who you are and be proud of that.

8:23Jase:Yeah, that's right. Keyes is from a younger generation, so he gets spray tans, but that's not the sort of thing that you and I do, Jase.

8:28Keyzie:No, I couldn't imagine. Can you imagine me with a spray tan?

8:32Jase:I actually can. That would be great. That looks so good. We should do that. Where'd you go? Huh? For your spray tan? Oh, just in the backyard. Oh, okay.

8:43Mogey:Oh, yeah. The Hauraki Big Show with Jace, Mike and Keezy. Tune in weekdays at four on Radio Hauraki.

8:52Keyzie:The Pixies there on the Radio Hauraki Big Show this Wednesday afternoon. The time is 23 minutes past four o 'clock. Fellas, I was reading a psychology report today, and I need, I guess, a little bit of reassurance from my buddies on the show.

9:09Mogey:Yeah, man. That's what we're here for, reassurance. Yeah, man.

9:12Keyzie:My pals. Yeah. And the basic premise of this report was that it is a major, and it's done by psychologists, a major red flag if you relax by watching real crime documentaries and or films.

9:31Jase:Right. In what way? Is it a red flag? Red flag to whom?

9:35Keyzie:It's a red flag in terms of your personality type and it suggests certain mental illnesses that you may possess because you are relaxing by watching often violent, horrific and terrible things and you're using that to relax. Is that what you do? I mean, the more horrific, the more relaxed I feel. Like if it's shockingly bad and true, I'm like, I just chill out majorly.

10:10Jase:Is that because it makes you feel better about your own life? You think to yourself, well, sure, it's a nightmare, but it's not as bad as, you know, Ted Bundy's life. story.

10:23Keyzie:Yeah, yeah, yeah. Or I'm not as bad as that. I'm no Ted Bundy. I'm no Ted Bundy.

10:30Mogey:So just to get a sort of understanding of this, if you're watching a news story about someone that's passed away, right, how relaxed are you watching that?

10:41Keyzie:Totally.

10:42Mogey:Right, okay. Yeah, yeah. I'm like

10:44Keyzie:chill. It's like I can watch your dramas, your comedies, all that sort of stuff. I'm tight as a coil. Yeah. Then I watch a real crime, true crime documentary, totally chill. Right. And I don't know why serial killers, maximum chill.

11:03Mogey:So how chill were you watching that Dharma TV show on Netflix?

11:06Keyzie:I loved it, man. I used to fall asleep watching that because that's how chill I was. Really? But, yeah, I mean, you guys know me really well. I mean, you haven't seen anything that would suggest that I'm, you know, dysfunctional in any way, would you? I mean. Well. The show's kind of built around your dysfunction.

11:28Jase:But do you mean other than that?

11:30Keyzie:Well, I mean, when you say my dysfunction, I mean, specifically, what are you? It's very hard to look at your own dysfunction because you don't see yourself. I need exterior eyes rather than my own internal murderous dialogue. Oh.

11:47Mogey:Yeah. Just Googling a few things here. Yeah. To be fair, though, who knows if this is true or not? You know what I mean? I don't know. It could be a red flag. Yeah, yeah. But there are way worse red flags to look out for. For example, if you never pick up your own rubbish in the studio. Oh, yeah. In general. Is that bad? That's the sign of someone who's an absolute lunatic.

12:10Jase:Yeah, yeah, yeah. I'd say it's every day.

12:12Mogey:Yeah, if you steal chips constantly, big red flag here. Yeah. Seriously? Yeah, 100%. Okay, that's another tick then. If you vape inside. If you vape inside. Oh, I never do that. I'm not an animal. If you lie about vaping. A huge red flag. Yeah, yeah, yeah. So, I mean, I think out of all the red flags you've got. Yeah.

12:32Keyzie:That's a mild one. Okay, well, that's all G. So it's all G if I vape inside then? Sure, man.

12:38Mogey:If we say no, you're probably going to try to kill us anyway. The Hauraki Big Show with Jace, Mike and Keezy. Tune in weekdays at four on Radio Hodaki.

12:47Keyzie:The Verve pipe there on the Radio Hodaki. Big show this Wednesday afternoon. The time is 4.36. Now, we're nearly into the end of the wet season. Fellas, the 17th, in fact, of this month. We're heading into spring and summer. It is the perfect season and the perfect opportunity for you to propose to that very special person in your life. Man. You know what I'm saying? I'd do it all over again if I could.

13:12Mogey:Really? Yeah.

13:13Jase:Different person or?

13:16Mogey:She'd still be in my top three. Oh, yeah. Yeah. Oh, that's nice. Yeah. So that's how you know it's true love.

13:21Keyzie:Yeah. Yeah, totally. If they're in the top five for me, but yeah, definitely. I actually, to be honest, and I know I keep banging on about this, but the guilt is overriding me. I feel like I need to redo my, you know, my proposal.

13:35Mogey:Well, it's because you didn't really do one.

13:36Keyzie:Yeah, that's right.

13:37Jase:You keep saying you feel guilty, but you continue to do nothing about it.

13:41Keyzie:Well, because we're already married now, you know what I mean? But I could go back, and it'd be quite romantic, eh, if I did another sort of proposal, 100%.

13:49Jase:Yeah, especially if you cook it, like you have an absolute shocker. It's risky. It is risky. It is risky because the presumption would be that after 27 years of marriage, you'd know your wife well enough to know how she would want to be proposed to. Yes. But, of course, the longer you know someone, the less you know someone, if you know what I mean. So you probably will cook it.

14:05Mogey:Plus, there is the risk that she'll say no. Oh, God.

14:09Keyzie:Yeah, but I've got the buffer of the fact that I'm already married. So you'd have to say no, and by the way, I'm divorcing you.

14:17Mogey:Well, that's how you could always get the ball rolling. At least you know where you sit.

14:21Keyzie:Yeah, that's right.

14:21Mogey:Are we doing this thing, or is this the end? Yeah. Diamonds on Richmond can help you if you are in a situation where you're thinking of buying an engagement ring. And if you head in at all this October to get an engagement ring, tell them Radio Hoda Ki sent you. They will give you a free pair of diamond earrings, which is great. but they did also give us an$8 ,000 diamond engagement ring to give away and we've just been delivered our Hodaki nudge pads. If you head to hodaki.co.nz, you register yourself there for a Hodaki nudge pad which is a special knee pad designed to send a hint to get someone to drop the knee and then one of those lucky people will also get the diamond ring.

14:57Mogey:Wow. That's amazing. Plenty of messages coming through, reasons why they should get the nudge pad and the diamond ring. This is from Anonymous. G'day, we've been together for eight years. have two kids, a mortgage, and about 4 ,000 mismatched Tupperware lids. Apparently he still needs a little nudge to make it official. I'm starting to think he's waiting for his joints to give out.

15:21Jase:Yeah. Well, she could propose as well. You know, what day and age are we living in? Absolutely. Where the woman doesn't feel like she can propose to the man.

15:29Mogey:Yeah, I mean, obviously times are a-changing. Times have well changed, Casey. Times, they are a-changing, mate. Indeed, thank you. But this particular couple, they might have grown up in an era where that wasn't. Yeah. She's pictured being proposed to. Yeah, her whole life. Yeah, yeah, yeah.

15:42Jase:And yet he's just waiting to see if something better comes along.

15:45Mogey:Is that what he's doing?

15:46Jase:Sounds like it.

15:48Mogey:Well, that person's in the draw, which is great. This one here from Anonymous. We've been together four years, only spent two nights apart in that whole time. Wow. We moved in together after six weeks, more in love than ever, been hinting for a year, technically been waiting since month number four. We're broke, so that's probably why. That's the one. Perfect.

16:05Keyzie:That's the thing. That is perfect right there. Yeah. And then you've got an$8 ,000 ring to give him or her.

16:12Mogey:Well, exactly, yeah. Yeah, I reckon. Because the financial side of it is the tricky side too. My engagement ring is fake. Not even a couple hundred bucks fake, 20 bucks off Temu. Would love a real one. Wow. So once again, bud. But it's still a ring. You know, it's still better than what Jason's got. Well, it's better than nothing. Yeah, exactly. I didn't get my wife anything.

16:31Keyzie:Yeah. God, what a piece of work I am, man.

16:33Mogey:The good thing is, because you didn't give her an engagement ring, You don't have to get her a fancy one. Literally a$20 cheap one is a massive upgrade for her. That's true. So you can just do that.

16:44Keyzie:Yeah. Get involved, New Zealand, because$8 ,000, he or she will be impressed.

16:50Mogey:Hauraki.co.nz, ready to see yourself there. And if you are in the market for an engagement ring, make sure you hit up Diamonds on Richmond, eh? Good stuff. Here's Kings of Leon. The Hauraki Big Show, weekdays from four on Radio Hauraki.

17:03Keyzie:Soundgarden there on the Radio Hauraki Big Show. This Wednesday afternoon, the time 4.49. Let's talk TV. What's on the telly with Mike Minogue?

17:18Jase:Yes.

17:20Mogey:Yes.

17:21Jase:Yeah, fellas, I didn't watch anything last night. I'm really, really sorry. Really? Yeah. You didn't watch anything? I let you guys down there, man. Did you go straight to bed? I'm really, really sorry. Not straight to bed. You did some work? but I did go to bed. Actually, I did a little bit of scrolling, if I remember correctly. Were you in a scroll hole? I was in a bit of a scroll hole, Keezy, and there was some good stuff there. Actually, I'll show you that after this. Some funny reels. Some funny reels, yeah. We'll just lie down and pretend like we're in bed, and I'll show you some funny reels.

17:52Keyzie:When you guys are scrolling, is there a part of yourself that hates yourself?

17:59Jase:Yes. It depends what you're getting served, because oftentimes in the evening, that's when you get the real good stuff. Right, okay. That's when it's got the millions of likes and all that sort of thing. If you find yourself scrolling during the day, that's when it's got like 500 likes and it's just complete garbage.

18:14Keyzie:Yeah. Because I might scroll sometimes at night and I have a feeling of deep hatred towards myself. I'm just like, what am I doing? This is a name. But anyway, this show that I watch, and I've talked about before, A Place in the Sun, where people go overseas and buy their dream home. UK people. UK people.

18:36Jase:Do they actually buy their dream home?

18:37Keyzie:A lot of them do. Summer home. Right. It's like a holiday home, but a lot of them are looking to retire there and stuff. This particular episode was set in France, say, in France. The budget, which is quite big for this particular show, was€250 ,000, right?

18:54Mogey:Right.

18:55Keyzie:But they could go up to€280 ,000. I was amazed by the properties that you could buy over in Francais for that kind of dosh. Yeah. Unbelievable.

19:08Mogey:Yeah, but Jase, you could buy an amazing property for, you know, roughly that much here in New Zealand, but it'll be in a shithole town somewhere with no one around. But people from overseas will think, but you're in New Zealand. It's amazing. The whole of New Zealand's not amazing. I guess so, but, you know. Who knows where that is?

19:25Keyzie:I'm talking beautiful, magnificent stone villas with beautiful pools with two acres of land, stables. It's like, my God, how good would that be? Move over to Francais.

19:37Jase:I can see you riding bareback, Jase. You love riding bareback.

19:40Keyzie:I love it. I love a horse ride. I was genuinely blown away by the properties on offer for that kind of dosh. When you ride a horse, do you? I put my testicles either side of its chest. Yes, Kesey. Of its chest? Why is the horse on top of you? Of its back. That's crook. I put one testicle either side. And then use it as stirrups.

20:03Mogey:And you put your feet on them. Yeah. Did you ever ride it reverse? No, why would I do that, man? Reverse cowboy? Ah, okay, I don't know. Last night, my wife and I watched the last half an hour of the first episode of Traders UK on 3Now, which is a terrible reality show, which I do not traditionally like. Yeah. However, this one's set in the UK with UK talent celebs. So one of my all-time role models is Stephen Fry. And you've got him doing all this stuff. He's like 70. And he's having to get stuck in and dig holes and push this thing, which is really interesting. And you've got all these great comedians on it.

20:39Mogey:However, I said yesterday, Alan Carr was chosen to be one of the traitors, which is someone that has to – his first task was they had to murder someone by touching their face in public in front of everyone. and they decided that he was the best one for the job because he could get away with it by doing something like, oh, you've got a little bit of something on your face there, sweetie, or something, you know. And him stressing out about how he's going to do that, genuine laugh out loud TV from a reality show, which I traditionally do not enjoy. Yes. It was brilliant. And then when the episode ended, we were like, oh, no, what?

21:12Mogey:Oh. And so it's got me hooked purely once again, not because of the reality format, but because of the talent, the UK comedians, et cetera, that are on it. They do a good job over there, don't they?

21:21Jase:Amazing. Yeah, that's how they do it, just get the comedians involved in every single thing.

21:25Mogey:And not just comedians. Like I said yesterday, but like Jonathan Ross, this famous actress who is probably on par with your Maggie Smiths and your Judy Denches and stuff like that. Really good talent. They must have paid a fortune. Yes. So, yeah, that's on three now. Traders UK celeb or something, whatever it's called.

21:42Keyzie:Siri, Traders NZ UK. UK. Can you just remind me at 9.30 tonight to watch that? Here's the undertones.

21:56Mogey:The Hauraki Big Show with Jace, Mike and Keezy. Tune in weekdays at 4 on Radio Hauraki.

22:03Keyzie:Welcome back you massive backbones. Hope you're getting through your hump day tickety-boo. You're listening to The Big Show brought to you by Reburger.

22:09Mogey:Handcrafted burgers, loaded fries and gourmet eats. That'll change the game. Colonel Justin, did you

22:15Keyzie:order the Reburger. You don't have to answer that question. I'll answer the question. You want Reburger. I think I'm entitled. You want

22:24Mogey:Reburger. I want the Reburger.

22:26Keyzie:You can't handle the Reburger.

22:32Jase:Very good. That's good stuff.

22:35Mogey:Great stuff. I found it quite distracting.

22:39Jase:What were you thinking about? Reburger. There you go. That's what they want you to do, man. Yeah, true. You're right. Yeah, it's got you there.

22:46Mogey:Yeah, a few good re-burgers. Yeah. That's the name of the clip.

22:50Keyzie:Actually, just on the food front, we've been going through the menu over in Fiji. We'll be talking about that a little bit later on. Maybe get the punters to help us choose what to eat.

22:58Mogey:That sounds like great radio. So we read out what's on the menu. Yes. And then say, hey, what do you think we should order? Yeah.

23:04Jase:It's kind of a variation on what's on the dinner with me, Keezy. A little bit. It's a little bit like that. Instead, it'll be us talking about what we'd like to have for dinner when we go to Fiji.

23:14Mogey:Tell you what, I'd love to listen to that, but only because I am part of the group going to Fiji.

23:20Keyzie:Right. Well, no, I think people are going to live vicariously through us. Vicarious.

23:26Mogey:So they're actually going to have their experience.

23:32Keyzie:Josh Kesey is talking to you. Yes. No, you're all good. Through us. You know what I mean?

23:39Jase:Vicariously.

23:40Keyzie:That's the only reason I'm going, for other people. Yeah. You know what I'm saying? I'm going so that other people can experience Fiji. Through our eyes and words. Through our eyes and bodies.

23:52Mogey:Yeah, I'm going to get steamed. And play golf, obviously, responsibly. Yeah, yeah, yeah.

23:57Jase:Play golf responsibly. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Nothing else. Yeah.

24:00Keyzie:I'm golfing and then going straight to bed. Here's Silverchair.

24:04Mogey:The Hauraki Big Show. Weekdays from four on Radio Hauraki.

24:08Keyzie:Bit of Lou Reed to chill out on a Wednesday afternoon, eh, fellas? Good fellas, man. Yeah, it's quite nice, isn't it? Hey, now listen, speaking of quite nice, Keezy, for those of you that don't know, I'm his agent. And it's been a real struggle, I'll be honest, getting him some work. But that's because the industry's just a bit quiet at the moment, right? Well, not really. She's pretty busy. I've just had to face a few hurdles in terms of getting your name across to audition, et cetera, et cetera, et cetera. But something fell in my lap yesterday and I went, it's got Keezy written all over it because I know that you're a massive gamer geek.

24:54Mogey:Well, hang on. You don't need to put some, you know, vitriol on it. Oh, is it nerd? No, it's not.

24:58Keyzie:Massive nerd. Massive gamer nerd.

25:00Mogey:I enjoy occasionally sitting on the couch and playing PlayStation. That is correct.

25:04Jase:When was the last time you played PlayStation? Last night. Yeah. Yeah, well, there you go. Well, hang on.

25:08Keyzie:But I'm interested. Now, you'll know this being a gamer nerd.

25:13Jase:Freak.

25:14Keyzie:That a new game's coming out, which you are just going to be all over like a rash anyway as a gamer, but it's an opportunity for you to maybe be a part of it. Which game? Grand Theft Auto 6.

25:26Mogey:You mean the biggest franchise in entertainment? In entertainment, yes. Bigger than any movie franchise. In a nerdy gamer world. Bigger than any TV franchise or movie franchise. Correct.

25:37Keyzie:Correct. And even more exciting, they're auditioning for all the parts.

25:42Mogey:Well, I know the main characters have already been locked in and stuff. Well, some of them have actually left.

25:46Keyzie:Oh, wow.

25:47Mogey:There's vacancies. Okay. Yeah, yeah. Right, okay. Well, what do they want me to do?

25:53Keyzie:Well, nothing like that.

25:56Mogey:Why do you even bring that up there?

25:57Keyzie:Well, because you can be a part of it. Have you heard of an NPC?

26:00Mogey:I know what an NPC is, Jason.

26:01Keyzie:Can you explain to the audience, Keezy, what an NPC is, please?

26:04Mogey:An NPC is just like a non-playable character. It's just, you know, when you're playing a video game, there are just random people scattered throughout the world that are NPCs. They're just characters to fill up the world, basically, and make it seem lifelike.

26:16Keyzie:Bang on. And you know in Grand Theft Auto that they often hijack cars and stuff.

26:22Mogey:Yeah, it's the main character that can hijack any car.

26:25Keyzie:Yeah, and the person that they hijack often gets the crap beaten out of them.

26:28Mogey:Well, not always. Some of them are pretty. Yeah, it varies.

26:30Keyzie:In this case, generally, this is the character you'll be going for as one of the people that they attack and then beat the crap out of.

26:40Mogey:Right, so I'm driving a car. Yes. And then the main player will come along, hijack my car, pull me out.

26:47Keyzie:Well, just on that front, one of the first things they said is they want people to mimic or do driving a car as a sort of voice test. Well, I can do that. Yeah, yeah.

26:58Mogey:Yeah, so I'm driving a car. Yeah, it's driving my car.

27:03Keyzie:No, but actually making the car noise as well, just to establish it. Well, why would I? Wouldn't they have a sound? Well, because they want to see people that are adaptable, Keezy. They can do all sorts of sounds.

27:12Mogey:Okay, all right. So driving a car. What kind of car is that? Diesel truck.

27:18Keyzie:Doesn't sound like something that would be on Grand Theft Auto. Right. Because they're really fast racing cars. There's got to be something that the main character is going to want to steal. So it's like a high-end sports car. Okay.

27:33Keyzie:One of the main characters gets out, opens your car, and just starts deducing you. He punches you in the face, and you go, Oh!

27:43Mogey:Like that?

27:44Keyzie:Yep. Not bad. Then he knees you in the bullos.

27:48Mogey:Right. That's good. Right.

27:53Jase:That's really good.

27:54Mogey:Right. Because usually when they hijack the car, they don't go to town. They just pull them out and then hop in. So why is he like beating? Oh, sorry.

28:02Jase:Sorry, Jase, I don't know. Is Keezy auditioning to design the game?

28:06Keyzie:And I was going to say, Mogi, on that front, you see what I'm dealing with?

28:10Mogey:No, I'm just asking questions.

28:12Keyzie:It is also Grand Theft Auto 6, Keezy. Right. So the previous games you may have played are no longer valid. They've gone way up market. Hence, you know, the NPC scenarios. They want to enhance the whole experience, so even the NPCs need to be good at their job.

28:30Mogey:Right, okay, so they pulled my daughter.

28:32Keyzie:And then he smacks you around the head with a baseball bat.

28:36Jase:Oh! Yeah. And then you've got to hit the deck.

28:40Mogey:Oh. Oh! Yeah. Cool.

28:44Jase:That's pretty good.

28:45Mogey:Does he hop in the car and drive away? Not at this point. No, he's out.

28:49Keyzie:Then he does a flying leap in the air and lands on you with his elbow in your groin. Ha!

28:58Mogey:Why so much attention to the groin, by the way? Well, that's just part of the game.

29:01Jase:I mean, I don't write the games, Gizzi. Right. Now he's stealing your jeans. He's taking your pants off. And you don't want him to take them. Oh, no. So you've got to try and talk him out of it.

29:15Mogey:No, what do you do? You don't want those jeans, man. Trust me, you don't want those jeans. You don't know where they've been. They won't fit you, man. They're the wrong cut. They're the wrong style.

29:23Keyzie:And then as he's doing it, you realise you're not wearing any undies. Oh, God.

29:29Mogey:Oh. Oh, I forgot to put undies on today.

29:33Keyzie:Oh, luckily. I think I'll give him a call and just say it's flagging, eh?

29:37Jase:It's pretty good, though, because this character has got a button mushroom.

29:41Keyzie:Yeah, that's true.

29:43Mogey:There's the black keys. I don't know if I'm going to buy that, Gabe. The Hauraki Big Show. Weekdays from four on Radio Hauraki. The Big Show's toolbox top-up with ITM.

29:58Keyzie:Yes, indeed. What's the prize again, Keezy? Because it's worth over a grand, you were saying.

30:03Mogey:Yeah, it's worth exactly a grand.

30:04Keyzie:Oh, a grand.

30:05Mogey:Which I guess is over a grand. Wow. A grand, isn't it?

30:09Jase:Well, thereabouts, isn't it?

30:10Mogey:That's right, man. Today's prize, thanks to our mates at ITM to celebrate the Toolbox Top-Up Sale, which is on right now. They've given us a Hikoki 18-volt gasless framing nailer kit. I love those bastards.

30:22Jase:Oh, my God. They're the backbone of any Backbones toolkit.

30:26Keyzie:Absolutely. G'day, Chris. You're mad bastard. How's life?

30:30Mogey:Yeah, good, fellas. How are you going?

30:31Keyzie:Yeah, good, thanks, mate. What do you do for a crust, Chris?

30:34Mogey:I am a tiler. Ah! Ah, backbone!

30:38Jase:Backbone. I love some nice tiling work. It's very pleasing to the eye. It's a real craft. Agreed. It's an art. It's an art. It's an art, all right.

30:45Keyzie:Now, listen, Chris, this is how it works. We're going to name 10 tools. You have to name and remember five of those tools in 15 seconds. What do you reckon?

30:55Mogey:Give it a blast, mate.

30:56Keyzie:All right.

30:57Mogey:How good's your memory, Chris? Well, it's seen better days, but yeah.

31:01Keyzie:Yeah. You'll be sweet as, mate.

31:03Jase:Good on you, brother. All right. I'm going to kick you off, man. Have you got your ears peeled, man? Definitely. Here we go. This is one I'm going to say to you first. Anus press. Impact driver. Angle drill. Power spanner. Reciprocating saw. Chainsaw. Electric sandpaper. Angle grinder. Hammer drill. Electronic level. Go, Chris. Angle grinder, electronic level, anus, something rather,

31:38Keyzie:reciprocating saw, drill. Angle grinder. Yeah! He's got it! Jeez. Mate. An anus something. I've never heard of those.

31:53Mogey:It's an anus press. I'm not sure what it does. Anus press. Yeah. They obviously don't use anus presses in tiling. I didn't know that. I thought they were used exclusively for tiling. You can always use them.

32:04Keyzie:Actually, I think an anus press would be really good for tiling. Yeah. You know what I mean? Why is that? Just to stick it on there.

32:09Mogey:Oh, yeah, yeah, yeah. Hey, Chris, congrats, mate. You've won yourself that Hikoki Gasless Framing Nailer Kit worth$1 ,000, mate.

32:17Jase:Oh, thanks, fellas. Thanks to ITM, too. Oh, good on you, mate. That's how you do it, mate.

32:23Keyzie:Good on you. Stay on the line and old Pugsam will take care of you in Studio B. I tell you what, fellas, I love it when the winners thank the sponsors.

32:32Jase:You like that, do you?

32:33Keyzie:You know, because often we get all the praise, don't we? But it's actually the sponsors that are the backbone of this particular segment.

32:40Mogey:Just on the sponsors, Jase. This October and November, stock up on the hottest tools in the score. Exclusive deals you won't find anywhere else at your local ITM. You can find all the deals in ITM's Toolbox top-up catalogue packed with 20 pages of exclusive offers. We've got more tools to give away too, so make sure you try again tomorrow.

33:00Keyzie:Actually, just on tools, Keezy, there's a few I need to borrow from you if that's all right, mate. Oh, yeah. Have you got an anus press?

33:07Mogey:Yeah.

33:08Keyzie:Okay, good.

33:08Mogey:I'm using it right now, though. All right. The Hauraki Big Show, weekdays from four on Radio Hauraki.

33:15Keyzie:Hero Smith there on the Radio Hauraki Big Show. this Wednesday evening. Now, fellas, it was a big day today, wasn't it, for the big show? Oh, man. Something very special and unique happened today, didn't it, fellas?

33:29Jase:It's not something that everybody gets to do, and yet again we find ourselves in a position where we're doing something special. A position of privilege?

33:37Keyzie:Yeah, I think so. Yeah, I think so. I felt pretty special when it was happening and watching the process of it.

33:43Mogey:I thought you looked pretty special while it was happening.

33:45Keyzie:Oh, look, I always look pretty special. but you know and you must be wondering to yourselves what are these idiots banging on about now wow

33:54Jase:boy do we have an announcement for you that's right we have recorded fellas and you guys probably know this Kezi you know about this yeah I was part of it we recorded a bespoke podcast alright it's bespoke

34:06Mogey:bespoke means like

34:08Jase:handcrafted handcrafted yeah that's right it's bespoke in the sense that it's only going to be released on vinyl now a lot of you out there will say oh, didn't the Breakfast Boys do that about eight years ago? Sure, sure. But this is better. This is better. It is.

34:25Mogey:I forgot that The Breakfast Show had done it. Oh, yeah, yeah, yeah.

34:27Jase:That's sour to me. I think they did a Christmas special or something like that, you know. Old school garbage. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Now, this one is a genuine collector's item. My understanding is there's only going to be 200. Correct. And when they go on sale, they're going to be gone, gone, gone. Now, what it's about, Kesey, maybe you can enlighten the folks out there about exactly what the content of this album is, because it took us a while to come up with that idea.

34:52Mogey:It certainly did, and the idea is quite complex, and there's a lot of nuance. It's how the big show started. Yeah. Yeah.

35:03Jase:The origin story, if you will. Yes, that's right. So if you think about Spider-Man and how he got bitten by a spider, it's like that. Is that how it happened? With the big show. With the big show, yeah. Wait, so the big show gets bit. With sort of a bit of a blundering, you know, from one sort of era to another. We didn't spare the horses. No, that's right. No, it's an interesting tale about how we came to have the big show. And I haven't listened to it back. Were you not listening while we were doing it? I haven't listened to it back. Right. Which means I haven't listened to it again.

35:38Mogey:You haven't heard what you were saying, but you heard what we were saying.

35:40Jase:I haven't listened to the whole thing back.

35:42Mogey:Oh.

35:43Jase:What that means is I haven't listened to it again.

35:45Mogey:Oh, for the second time.

35:46Jase:Yeah, that's right. So I can't quite remember. I remember Jason being very angry and absolutely effing and jeffing and fuming.

35:53Mogey:I remember being like, wow, I can't believe you're saying this stuff. Yeah, yeah.

35:56Keyzie:Me. Yeah, yeah. Well, I have listened back to it. It's a bloody good listen.

36:02Mogey:Yeah, and the good thing is it's all thanks to our mates at Holiday Records. We're currently in the process of getting them printed. We witnessed that today. Very cool. more details on this a little later on in the show as well but they will be available for purchase and you'll be able to win some soon so if you are keen, if you have a record collection then just keep an ear out on Hauraki

36:20Keyzie:and I'd rather people didn't win them because I'd rather they pay cash money for it you know what I mean? because they're not cheap the old vinyl

36:29Mogey:The Hauraki Big Show with Jace, Mike and Keezy Tune in weekdays at 4 on Radio Hauraki

36:35Keyzie:Welcome back here massive backbones you're listening to The Big Show brought to you by Reburger

36:39Mogey:Serving good times and good food. Dine-in or takeaway Reburger today.

36:43Keyzie:Colonel Jessup, did you order the Reburger?

36:46Mogey:You don't have to answer that question.

36:47Keyzie:I'll answer the question.

36:49Mogey:You want Reburger?

36:51Keyzie:I think I'm entitled. You want Reburger? I want the Reburger. You can't handle the Reburger.

36:59Mogey:Very good. It is very good. And Reburger just wanted me to put out a statement and just say on the record that most people can handle the Reburger. Oh, yeah, they can, all right.

37:08Keyzie:More than handle. I didn't tell you, fellas, I woke up this morning in my house and was just tootling around with my wife there. What does that mean?

37:19Mogey:No, not like just... What the hell is tootling around with my wife?

37:22Keyzie:Well, you know, having coffee, tidying up, you know, packing a bit of stuff up as well, that sort of thing. Sweeping.

37:30Jase:Right. Did you sweep the leg? No, I didn't sweep the leg. In any way... She wouldn't be expecting that.

37:36Keyzie:Out wanders this teenager. And I'm like, who the bloody hell are you? Oh, wow. From my daughter's room. And unbeknownst to me, one of my daughter's friends is up from Australia. Up from Australia.

37:57Jase:She's gone the wrong way around the world, man. Sorry, she's come over from Australia.

38:02Keyzie:And apparently, unbeknownst to me, and my wife is staying with us. For how long? Just a couple of days. But she's here for a while, and we were like, oh. And then our daughter came out and went, oh, did I not tell you that? And it was like.

38:17Jase:She knows damn well.

38:19Keyzie:No, you did not tell me that. I mean, we're all G with it. She's a lovely young lady, but it was just like classic teenage. Oh, did I not tell you?

38:29Jase:Yeah. God. And what that turns into, of course, is what your wife does to you now, which is, oh, I did told you, can you not remember? Yeah, I did told you. I did told you that. Yes. Because she speaks like that, eh? I did told you.

38:44Mogey:I did told you that a couple of times. But, yeah, if you're into street food, check out Reburger.

38:55Mogey:Faith, no, well, actually, just on food, we're going to go through the menu next to the hotel we're staying at in Fiji and choose what we're going to eat. Oh. The Hauraki Big Show with Jace, Mike and Keezy. Tune in weekdays at four on Radio Hauraki.

39:10Keyzie:Stone Temple Pilots here on the Radio Hauraki Big Show this Wednesday evening. Now, I don't know if the listeners know this, but we're going to Fiji in two days, fellas. Shame. We're going. You're not. Gay.

39:22Mogey:Two more sleeps, boys. Two more sleeps. I'm excited. Mogi's the most excited because he's staying for an extra amount of time there. Yes. But I just thought, fellas, why don't we start perusing the menu of the Intercontinental Golf Resort? Yeah, love it. Just to say what we're going to eat. So Toba, T-O-B-A, Bar and Grill, is where they've suggested we have a couple of our lunches slash dinners while we're there. Right. Now, Jase, what do you think you'll be in the mood for?

39:50Keyzie:Well, I don't really know what the menu is or what they're offering.

39:54Mogey:Just think like classic bistro, bar, because they're trying to please a large crowd, man. You don't know who's coming through.

39:59Jase:They've got a few restaurants here, don't they, Keezy?

40:01Mogey:They do, but they've suggested this one for the first night.

40:03Keyzie:Well, look, it feels like to me, because we're in Fiji, that I want to be eating a lot of seafood.

40:08Mogey:A lot of seafood? Yes. What about your gout?

40:11Keyzie:Oh, my gout doesn't – I mean, it's fine with the seafood. It's when I get into the cheeses that my gout goes crazy. Right, okay.

40:18Mogey:All right, so seafood. Let me just look here at what they've got.

40:24Keyzie:They must have some sort of prawn action or something, Keezy.

40:27Jase:Well, they do have a baked kingfish. Oh, yes. That's made with lemongrass, ginger, coriander, turmeric, garden salad, and tofu.

40:39Mogey:Tofu? That's an interesting take. I like the sound of that.

40:42Jase:And that's a bloody good deal, that one. Alternatively, you could have the grilled salmon. Yes. It comes with green sauteed potato, an orange hollandaise, and pureed tofu.

40:54Mogey:Or would you like, this is actually a good selection, the seared yellowfin tuna. Oh. Comes with white beans, garlic, bok choy, salsa verde, and a large piece of tofu in the mouth of the fish.

41:10Keyzie:Okay.

41:11Jase:I'll probably. Do you like barramundi? Oh, that's Aussie, yes, your barramundi.

41:16Mogey:I don't know that I've ever had barramundi, to be honest. What about Barra Tuesday? No, seriously, though. It comes with eggplants. Steamed broccoli, cauliflower, pine nut, and grated tofu.

41:29Jase:What about penguin roe? You had that?

41:33Mogey:It's caviar from a penguin. From a penguin?

41:35Keyzie:I've never had that. You've never had that.

41:36Jase:It's really good. Yeah, what is that?

41:38Keyzie:Has that got a little side dish or anything? Is it just a little?

41:40Jase:A little bit of that, a little squeeze of lemon juice, a little bit of cracked pepper, a little bit of salt. Okay, yum. And it's fried off in some tofu.

41:49Mogey:I'm probably going to go for one of the pizzas there, fellas. So, for example, just looking at the Pacific Rim. Yeah, this is probably the pizza I'm going to go for. Tomato sauce, chilli prawn, mushroom, mozzarella, and thinly sliced tofu.

42:03Jase:Okay. Is there anything there for vegetarian? I feel like I've been having a bit too much meat.

42:08Mogey:Oh, yeah. What about this? The heart of health burger.

42:11Jase:Oh, yum. Beet root, ancient grains.

42:15Mogey:The grains you would have eaten when you were a kid, Jase. avocado garden leaves sautéed sweet potato and wakame what's wakame? it's like a tofu

42:25Jase:that's VGN for tofu yeah

42:28Mogey:the Hauraki Big Show with Jace, Mike and Kesey tune in weekdays at 4 on Radio Hauraki

42:34Keyzie:yes indeed the Foo Fighters there on the Radio Hauraki Big Show this Wednesday night now fellas what an exciting day we just touched on it briefly in the show we went to the big pressing of the Big Show record or vinyl That's right. How exciting was that? I felt like a little bit of a rock star, to be honest.

42:52Jase:You look like one as well, man. Yeah, thank you. Yeah, no worries. A little bit grungy because you got your flannel shirt on today.

42:58Mogey:Absolutely.

42:59Jase:And your golf cap. And your free hat.

43:01Mogey:Yeah. Yeah, and I was like, yo, is that Slash? Oh, no, that's Jase.

43:05Keyzie:I don't think I've ever paid for a cap, to be honest. Yeah, that's right. You know what I mean? It's always just something I pick up along the way, which makes me even more fond of them.

43:12Mogey:Steel, yeah. But what an amazing process that was. It was cool. It was cool seeing – I love watching videos on industry and seeing how they've mechanised certain things. Like a week ago, I told you guys I watched a doco on the baked beans factory, the Heinz one. Yes. And just seeing the way – the record, like, you know, suction cup picks it up, puts it over here, presses it, cuts the edges off. You know, it's all – I love seeing that sort of stuff.

43:35Jase:It's an amazing thing, isn't it? Somebody's invented that machine, Jase.

43:38Keyzie:Well, it is. And Prieb's told me a fascinating fact today as I came on, which I didn't realise. The reason that it takes so long in New Zealand to do a vinyl is they have to send it over to England to actually get it pressed and get all that content on it because they've got the machinery over there and then they send it back to New Zealand and then they press it on top. I didn't realise that, which seems to me to be a business opportunity for the fellas, for us to somehow get that technology in New Zealand so people don't have to send them off to England every time they make a vinyl.

44:10Jase:Can you walk me through that again? They send what over to the UK?

44:12Keyzie:They set the audio and it gets pressed on a particular thing that they have in England, and then they send it back to New Zealand and then they just press whatever they do onto that bit of stuff. Sure.

44:26Jase:So it sounds like the thing that gets pressed onto is probably a metal thingy that gets pressed on it, right? Yeah, possibly.

44:32Keyzie:He wasn't that specific.

44:34Mogey:So the metal thing that they then use to copy and press all the vinyl after that, that's the thing we've got to learn how to make. Yes.

44:41Jase:Should be easy. Or just get the technology over here. Or what I've heard you can do is you can just send it over, the audio, over to the UK. They do it for you there. Oh, that's good. And then they'll send it back and you're just straight into it.

44:54Keyzie:Outsourcing, that's smart. Yeah, so it saves you doing it. So we don't need to do it, yeah. Yeah, but the thing is it takes six weeks to do that. Yeah, we'll just send it earlier than that.

45:01Mogey:Give it six weeks in advance. That's really smart, actually, maybe I'm in.

45:06Keyzie:But, I mean, imagine all the business you'd get if you had that technology here, because they wouldn't need to do that. They'd just send it straight to you. You'd whack it out in a couple of days and it'll be Bob's your uncle.

45:16Jase:Seems like a lot of work, Jizz.

45:18Mogey:Yeah, I feel like you're creating more work.

45:19Jase:I mean, all we need to do, fellas,

45:21Keyzie:all we need to do is get the technology and let other people run it.

45:25Jase:Can you tell us what's the content on this big show pressing hoity jizzbot?

45:29Keyzie:Well, it's the origin story of the big show. It is. It's how we sort of came to be, how it all sort of coalesced into the big show.

45:38Mogey:That's right. They're going to be available for purchase. you'll also be able to win some too. That'll be happening at a later date. But right now, speaking of vinyl, fellas, Giggle Little is still happening thanks to Super Liquor. Yes. Keep an ear out for that roar of the encore, then call us on 0800 Hauraki, and you can win your share of$10 ,000, a.k.a. $250. Wow. Cheers to Super Liquor, cheers to gigging. Cheers to that. If you call up, you have to tell us what gig you like to put it towards, by the way.

46:02Keyzie:Yeah, I'm going to do that tonight, actually, fellas, just see what gigs are upcoming and planned for summer and the spring there.

46:08Mogey:The Hauraki Big Show. Weekdays from four on Radio Hodaki.

46:12Keyzie:ACDC there on the Radio Hodaki big show this Wednesday night. Let's give out some advice, fellas.

46:19Jase:Meet Patty Nips 69.

46:23Mogey:At gmail.com. Get in touch with the fellas. Meet Patty Nips 69 at gmail.com. It's a real email address. And if you need advice on anything, you can get in touch with us there. 100 % anonymous. and if we read it out on the show,$50 Reburger voucher. Unless, of course, you've already won one off us.

46:43Jase:Oh, yeah. Yeah, yeah. You don't want to be a greedy bastard. Now, the trouble we've got, though, from what I understand, is we don't know until we've already read it out. Yeah. So what we're going to have to do is put the onus back on you. Just understand that if you've won before, you can't win again, but you're more than welcome to continue sending in advice. We're happy to give you the advice. We just can't keep on giving you prizes. You're known as a prize pig.

47:04Mogey:Yeah, and it's not about the prizes, really, is it? It's about the advice. We're trying to change people's lives here. That's right.

47:10Jase:Now, from your point of view, it might be about the prize. So if it's about the prize, then you're all good.

47:15Mogey:Yeah.

47:15Jase:No advice for you.

47:16Mogey:But we've now got audio of us on the radio saying, hey, if you've won before, you can't win again. We're going to crack down on it. Yeah, yeah, totally, man. Get the whip out. It's probably a bit too far. This question comes from Anonymous. G'day, fellas. Anonymous here. I had a dream the other night which certainly raised some questions as I woke and as I replayed it in my head. I'm hoping you could provide some clarity. Let me paint the picture of my dream. I'm in a typical boys high school gym changing room. A big open room with benches and clothes hooks lining the walls. In one corner is a toilet and I'm on it doing the business.

47:54Mogey:Giving it death. Giving it death or as you may know it a Keezy steamer. It's just a, you're just doing a steamer. I look up mid-steamer and in the middle of the room is a current colleague of mine just staring at me his arms are folded, he's checking his watch as if to say get on with it mate he doesn't say a word and simply stares while I'm trying to wrap things up, I'm under so much pressure to finish up I have to give it the old two stroke hoity J and be done with it, at this point I wake up, what does this all mean? Cheers Anonymous

48:25Keyzie:hmm, must be a

48:26Mogey:recurring dream, yeah

48:30Keyzie:Yeah, well, I think the important little phrase there is under pressure. Yeah. He's clearly under pressure in some other area of his life. Maybe he's not performing in the bedroom, for example. Right. Or he's not performing at work. Maybe he's a bad kisser. He feels like he's being watched, and he feels like he's under pressure to get the job done. And someone's aware. He's being judged. And I don't know about you guys, but when people watch me taking a dump, I find it very difficult. That's the only way I can go.

48:59Jase:Oh, is that the, yeah.

49:01Keyzie:You know, horses for courses. I mean, but for me, it sort of makes it difficult for me to relax fully to enjoy the experience because there's someone just standing there watching you and I just feel under pressure. You know what I mean? And Manus doesn't respond to that kind of pressure. Manus? No, Manus. Who's Manus? No, Manus.

49:22Mogey:Oh, your actual, oh, okay. Yeah, Manus. Do people watch you often?

49:25Keyzie:How do you feel when people are watching you do a steamer, Keezy? I mean, it's not, you don't feel any more kind of pressure than you normally would?

49:32Mogey:No, not really. To be honest, I'm pretty, like I don't get toilet block. Like I don't stop peeing if someone's beside me. Unless it's outside of your house. No, that's the thing. I don't do it outside my house. I'm always steaming in my house. You know, so if someone's watching me, it's usually just my wife, which is totally fine. Yeah.

49:49Keyzie:Actually, that just, because you're both kind of chokers under the old stream, aren't you? No, Casey's fine. I recall you saying that, that you don't. I am, yeah. Yeah, yeah. Yeah, so I think that's what it's about. He's feeling the pressure from something in his life, and it's stopping his flow.

50:07Jase:I think he feels sexually attracted to his work, mate. Right. Possible. And he wants to be naked. Right. And in the dream, what you haven't seen is he said, I'm just going to the toilet to freshen up, and then I'll be right with you.

50:22Mogey:And then he just stayed there.

50:23Jase:Yeah, so what's actually, so he's gone into freshen up and then old mate's coming and tapping the watch there. Yeah, right. Come on, mate, let's go. Got some lovemaking to do.

50:32Mogey:Right, okay. So just divorce and make a move? I mean, because that's what I feel like.

50:37Keyzie:I mean, after I've watched someone take a steamer, it's like, let's make love.

50:41Jase:Well, I'm not saying, look, there's horses for courses, as you say, Jase. Yes. Some people love that. Yeah. Like Keezy. What?

50:50Mogey:The Hauraki Big Show with Jace, Mike and Keezy. Tune in weekdays at four on Radio Hauraki.

51:03Keyzie:Well, there you go, you mad bastards. That's the Big Show Done and Dusted this Wednesday evening on the podcast outro.

51:14Keyzie:What's the clip today, Keezy? Today's outcloth clip is called Banking. I haven't dealt with a bank for a long, long time. I haven't had to deal with a bank for a long, long time. What about a sperm bank? Oh, no, I stopped there in my mid-30. What about a bank? Oh, no, that's still going. I invest heavily in that. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Yeah, yeah. I'm all the time. Oh, okay.

51:42Mogey:Yeah, so if you like the sound of that, that'll come out at 7.30 tonight along with a highlights package of today's radio show. Yeah, man.

51:48Keyzie:I believe you're off to a red carpet event, Moogie.

51:51Jase:I've got a red carpet event tonight, man. It's for a new TV show called The Ridge, which is a co-production between Ireland, I believe Ireland and New Zealand. Nice. A series there. I think it's a cop, well it is in fact a cop drama. I think someone's been murdered if I had to guess. Wow. I'll report back tomorrow, let you know what I think about it. It's coming up, I think it's going to be released on Neon in New Zealand.

52:10Keyzie:Is that new? Because I feel like I've heard of The Ridge before.

52:13Jase:Well, it's funny you say that, it is a premiere. Yes, I think it's new.

52:16Keyzie:Okay. No, I think Jason's seen this.

52:18Jase:He's seen this before. You've seen this before.

52:20Keyzie:Well, no, the red sounds familiar.

52:22Jase:Have you been playing around in that bloody time machine again? Maybe.

52:25Keyzie:Maybe. Hey, Kesey. Hang on.

52:27Mogey:Oh, yeah. What's up? What's the tea, man? I just wanted to ask more questions about that. You going as Officer Mogey?

52:35Jase:Yeah. I'm going to show them how it's done.

52:39Mogey:You and the red carpet dressed as Officer Mogey.

52:42Jase:With a bewildered look on my face. Yes.

52:45Mogey:Anyway, dinner tonight, Jase. Sausies. Good saucies.

52:50Jase:Good eating. Sent up from my father-in-law.

52:52Mogey:He won them in a golf comp like a year ago. Oh, how good. He just dug them out of the freezer. Yeah, right.

52:57Jase:Found them in his golf bag, did he?

52:59Mogey:Found them in his golf bag. My wife messaged. She's not going to be home until eight. So does she. So she's asked if I can get started, and she wants kumara and yams with it. And some broccoli. Oh, no. That's an absolute shocker for a cop. What do you mean? I like a sausage.

53:12Jase:I don't like them being sent up from another part of the country, especially when they've come out of a freezer, and especially being paired with yams. Far out.

53:21Keyzie:That's two disappointing meals in a row from you, Kezia. Oh, well, I guess. It's just really bummed me out.

53:26Mogey:Oh, has it? What are you having? Oh, no. Oh, braided chicken. Yum. See ya!