FULL SHOW: What an absolute weapon

5:42Mike Minogue:My wife absolutely loved it. We have never gone to, as you described it, like an amateur play before. Yes. Where they're not paid professionals. It is voluntarily done. Oh, okay. What are you writing? No, that's. She's amateurish. I didn't say amateurish. I said it was an amateur play. Amateurish. Isn't that? Oh, God. Can I say, and I hate to interrupt your review here, Kesey, but this is reminding me of the dinner that we went to at your house where Keezy's wife gave 10 out of 10. Yes. He led with that, got your hopes up, and then in comes Keezy afterwards, which I can only assume is going to be another six at best.

6:22We'll see.

6:23Mike Minogue:Thanks for that, Moogie. So my wife loved it. You know, you go out there. We got a quick dinner nearby. There was a food court. Oh, we're not even talking about the theatre anymore. Yeah, yeah.

6:34Keyzie:We moved away from the play.

6:36Mike Minogue:It's a whole evening.

6:37Keyzie:Focused more on dinner.

6:40Mike Minogue:I got a burrito. That was delicious. Can I just say, 9 out of 10 for the burrito. It was so delicious. Although, accidentally having a burrito before the play, my tummy was rumbling from all the jalapenos. I asked for extra jalapenos. I put a hot sauce on it. My tummy was rumbling the whole time. People keep looking at me. So obviously, that might have played into the score a wee bit. But Jase, at the very beginning of the play, the lights just go down and one woman walks out sits down and just starts a monologue yes it's like theatre isn't it 100 % and I'm not used to and I literally were you waiting for the opening credits or something I don't know yeah I was waiting for the titles to come up and play like a theme song or something

7:24Keyzie:sounds to me like you're more busy ripping ass because of your burrito

7:27Mike Minogue:I didn't rip ass make sure when you pass this on I didn't rip ass it was just my tummy was rumbling I did that afterwards it was Casey that ripped ass but a woman walked out started doing a monologue and I was like oh god here we go yes that's the thing yeah just because I haven't been to a theatre show you always think that any time a woman comes out and starts talking you just think oh here we go and that's on you I guess Kesey sexist stop writing down stuff okay but honestly that was me being 100 % honest she walked out started a monologue and I went oh okay here we go okay looks like I'm at a theatre show let's do this sort of thing.

8:05Mike Minogue:I reckon it took 30 seconds for me to be entertained.

8:09Keyzie:That's good, Keiji.

8:10Mike Minogue:For me to sway from, oh gosh, is this for me? What am I doing here? Into, oh no, this is entertaining. And it felt like I was watching a show, like a TV show, but in real life. If that makes any sense. Well, yes, it is a live performance. I'm slightly shocked by you describing theatre, a play. Yeah, as a TV show, but in real life. But in real life, yeah. I think people know what it is Yeah but I was thoroughly entertained the whole time Jase I'd asked a lot of questions It gave me food for thought

8:40Keyzie:Sure okay

8:41Mike Minogue:Food for thought I thought your wife's performance was magnificent There is one thing I'd like to touch on next if that's okay Sure My wife gave the play a 10 out of 10

8:53Keyzie:Yeah

8:55Mike Minogue:I give the play I give the play And this is not Hoody J's wife I give the play an 8.5 out of 10. Now, out of interest, Jase, what do you give the play? I gave it a four. The Hauraki Big Show with Jason Hoyt, Mike Minogue and Kesey.

9:14Keyzie:She Hard there on the radio. Hauraki Big Show this Monday afternoon. The time is 26 minutes past four o 'clock. And Kesey has just done a vigorous review of my wife's play, which she went to see on Friday night. Yeah. You were over it after the first 10 seconds. You said my wife was old. There was some old school sexism in there. And you were ripping ass throughout the show because you had a massive burrito beforehand.

9:42Mike Minogue:You are the worst paraphraser I think I've ever met. Mogi, I didn't say any of that stuff, did I? I wasn't listening, to be honest. But you gave it 8.5. 8.5 buzies out of a possible 10 play buzies. Play buzies. if that makes sense. Yes. 8.5 out of 10. Your wife's performance, 10 out of 10. No, seriously, it was. To be honest, all of the actors were fantastic. I loved it. I thought all of them were highly entertaining, and the fact that they had day jobs, and then they go and do this in the evening and the weekends is amazing. Tony Jay, does he think you're an idiot, man? I can answer that. Yeah, I do.

10:22Mike Minogue:What's that got to do with anything?

10:23Keyzie:But I feel like there's a but coming.

10:28Mike Minogue:Well it's funny you say that No there's no but whatsoever The first half of the play There was a 20-15 minute intermission Yes Where I was sent to get a glass of wine And a crunchy bar For my wife and I to enjoy The first half of that play Prior to that intermission Is sort of setting up the scene Setting up the relationships and stuff And for the bulk of that first half Which is about an hour long Your wife Jase Is like kissing another dude and getting her bum slapped by another dude. I never saw a bum slap. No, I did. It's part of the play. That was you when you saw it at the end and said, well, great job.

11:05Mike Minogue:No, but this is during the play also. And I was just like, oh, wow, okay. So I'm here believing that Hoity J's wife is not married to Hoity J. She is instead married to this chap here that I'm watching and now kissing and stuff. She pretends that most of the time. Well, I wouldn't know, but that certainly would help answer your questions.

11:27Keyzie:So you were saying there was some arse slapping. I never saw any arse slapping.

11:31Mike Minogue:How did you miss it? You fell asleep at one point, Josh. I did. I nodded off. Yeah, yeah. No, there was arse slapping. There was kissing. Was there kissing? Well, not tongue-passing. Sure, man. Whatever you need me to say. Tongue-passing.

11:47Keyzie:You know, not French kissing. Right.

11:49Mike Minogue:I don't know what ethnicity the kissing was, Josh.

11:51Keyzie:They did kiss on the lips, which I thought was a bit much.

11:54Mike Minogue:Well, they did kiss on the lips several times, and for quite a while. They really lingered there as well. And so at that point, when I was watching another man kissing Hoardy J's wife, I was like, oh, 10 out of 10. Yeah. This is great.

12:07Keyzie:I'd pay to see that. Oh, you should. She says, my wife is having an affair with a male actor. That's not what I'm saying at all.

12:16Mike Minogue:I was just saying that it was a very believable relationship. Yeah. A lot more believable than yours. The Hauraki Big Show with Jase, Mike and Keezy. Tune in weekdays at four on Radio Hauraki.

12:29Keyzie:Yes, indeed, Radiohead there on the Radio Hauraki Big Show this Monday afternoon. Now, we were going to be speaking to Charlie Gubb at this point, but he's not picking up his phone. And boy, when we do get hold of him, I'll be having a word, fellas. So in the meantime, let's talk TV. What's on the telly with Mike Minogue?

12:52Keyzie:Yeah! Woo!

12:55Mike Minogue:Yeah! This is how it starts right here. This is how it starts. Yeah, yeah. Over the weekend, fellas, with my daughter there, I watched Paddington in Peru. It's the third of the Paddington beer series, fellas. Very, very good. He has to go back to Peru. Back to Peru? That's where it's from. He's from Peru. Paddington? Paddington, yeah, because his Aunt Lucy is sad. She's down in the dumps. Anyway, gets back there. She's staying at this retirement home for bears in Peru, and she's disappeared. So they have to track her down. It leads to a treasure hunt for El Dorado. I was going to say, I know where she is.

13:43Mike Minogue:She's in Machu Picchu. Ah. That's my guess. Yeah, no, she was in El Dorado. Or was she? Antonio Banderas? Yes. Coleman. Very good cast. Great for kids, man. What a show.

13:56Keyzie:Obviously doing the voiceovers not actually playing a bear. No, there wasn't a real bear. They couldn't find one that was the right size. Yes. They sort of got this bear and they thought, this guy is nailing it. Even managing to learn some of the lines but certainly able to move his mouth to make it seem like it was in it. But he kept on mauling the children. A real bear? A real bear, yeah. They put him in the hat and stuff? They put him in the hat, the little jacket, the little raincoat He was ruined there. Had a little umbrella, some gumboots. And he got out some of the lines. Well, it's interesting because we were chatting about bears the other day on TV.

14:28Keyzie:And I was telling you about in real life, bears, when they maul you, they like to eat your brain. That's right. And that's what this Paddington bear would do. It goes straight for the brain. You can't have that. No, not with the caddies. That is not acceptable behavior on set, Kesey. And you'll find that out if you ever get there. I would give it four busies out of a possible five busies. Wow, okay. For a kids movie. Paddington and Peru.

14:50Mike Minogue:So I thought you were going to go watch that new, what was it called, Yoppers or something? What's Yoppers? It was like a new movie. Oh, Hoppers. Hoppers. It was the week before I RSVP'd Yes, Thanks Very Much, and then right at the last minute found out that my daughter had a birthday party to go to, so that was the end of that. Damn it. Cake wins, man. Cake wins.

15:08Keyzie:I did a rare thing yesterday, and I watched the Black Caps playing in a T20. You know, I used to love the game of cricket, Mogey. It wasn't that long ago. Not that long ago. Why are you just telling Mogi this? Well, because you don't really understand cricket, Kesey. Yeah, true. You know, back in the day, New Zealand versus Australia, the great epic battles, and I was watching this T20 last night just going, I just don't care anymore. Yeah. I don't care about this game. There's nothing on it. There's two kind of put-together sides to raise a bit of cash after the World Cup. I watched for about half an hour and that was me done.

15:50Keyzie:And I thought, what a tragedy. Indeed. That I used to love the game so much and now I'm like, have you ever heard the phrase, Kesey, less is more?

16:00Mike Minogue:Well, they need less cricket to get people back on board. I completely agree. And if you're going to undervalue the jersey by chucking any old, and no disrespect to the players, of course, but it's like when South Africa is sending down a C-grade team. Yes. Then charge us sea grey prices. Don't charge anybody to go into the ground. Don't charge 15 bucks for a beer. You know what I mean? It's like this is embarrassing. It is. You're embarrassing us. You're embarrassing this great nation of ours, Kesey. To disgrace, Kesey. I haven't done anything wrong. I've got nothing to do with New Zealand cricket.

16:33A disgrace. You're a shocking bastard.

16:35Mike Minogue:All right, well, I'll let my fellow NZ cricket colleagues know, all right? How many buzzies out of five do you give the cricket? One. Do you give it one? One. Well, half of one. Yeah, yeah, yeah. I mean I love my TS match cricket I love my World there's just as you say too much it's the same with rugby in my opinion too much of a good thing and actually I think I feel the same way about the rugby league I think the rugby league season is far too long as well I think you should have an opportunity to miss it

16:58Keyzie:I watched 10 minutes of rugby league and I was over it you hate rugby league though tell Charlie Gubb about it up next I'm fired up for that don't you worry about it the Hauraki Big Show podcast that's ridiculous tune that is a god damn tune that is ridiculous That's how you do it. It's crazy, isn't it? Ridiculous musicianship there.

17:18Mike Minogue:That's won by Metallica, by the way. Yes.

17:21Keyzie:Hey, there was a rugby league action over the weekend. And with that in mind, we've got our resident professional ex-warrior, Charlie Gubb, who rather poorly and it's just amateur hour. We called him 10 minutes ago. Did he pick up? No, he didn't. I mean, you know, fellas, I love the Warriors. And they are going great guns at the moment. And can Gubby be arsed? I don't think so. But finally he answered the phone and here he is now. G'day, Charlie, you mad bastard. How's life?

17:51Mike Minogue:G'day, Woody. You're giving frigging Prince Andrew vibes now, brother. One, that was not a tune, brother. That was an absolute shit show. And Pugsy normally gets me a bit moist early in the day, gives me a time you're going to call, and then you guys just start calling on private number. Yeah, that's right. Yeah. To be fair, that's on Keezy, man. No, it's not on Keezy at all. Pugs is in Vietnam. Sorry, Gubb. Next time we'll call him and we'll get him to message you from Vietnam. I think it's like 3 a.m. in the morning over there or something. No, that's all good. Warriors went well, eh, fellas?

18:23Mike Minogue:Up to wires.

18:24Keyzie:Look, I actually watched the Warriors, Gubby. They're looking bloody sharp. Tanner Boyd at seven, bloody good player. He impressed when he played last season and then sort of went off the boil a little bit, it felt like. But, jeez, he's looking sharp.

18:39Mike Minogue:Oh, he's in career best form, and he definitely makes his job easier when the Fords are going forward. Jackson Ford, Mitch Barnett back. The whole Ford pack's going really well. Yeah, the other interesting thing, Charlie Gubb. G'day, Keezy here. Hope you're well, man. No, I'm good, brother. Good to hear from you. Yes, yeah, likewise. Thanks for coming on the show. No worries, man. Thanks for having me on. You're exactly right, man. Our Ford pack. I don't know what Webby's doing and his coaching staff, but he seems to take these guys that clubs didn't want. You're Aaron Clarks, you're Jackson Fords.

19:11Mike Minogue:And he's just managed to turn them into these – even Mitch Barnett to a point, like he was a great player, but he wasn't how outstanding he was last season. Like how do you think he's unlocking the abilities of these guys so well? I actually don't know. I think he must just be a really good coach. Is it the Roids, bro? It could be. It could be Roids. It could be – maybe they went on – they got on that DMT together. Yes. Yeah, ayahuasca, brother. Maybe that's what we need to do. Oh, I think so, man. Bring us all together as a unit, eh? Yeah. But anyway, yeah, the whole four-pack's just humming, and I think it's just one of those things when you start playing well, you get confidence.

19:53Mike Minogue:And there was times even maybe last year where things weren't humming and guys on the radio, Hoidi, Mogi, they were calling for people's heads to roll, but we gave them confidence by just continuing to play them and they're starting to repay the faith this year. Well, the person I said whose head needs to roll was Luke Metcalf and it rolled and look at us go. Look at us go, brother. So is Metcalf going to get the seven jersey back? No way. There is no way and how. Now, I'm worried about it because I know that Webster is so loyal, but you have got to be a mad bastard to take the keys away from Boyd.

20:30You would imagine. I mean, there's a few games to go. Worry about it later. But I don't think I've ever seen this team look better than the way they look in these first three games. They are absolutely unbelievable. They are smashing people in defence like it's 2002. There's very few errors. Dynamic in attack as well. We go from last year not being able to score any points and this year we're winning on points differential and top of the table. It's that unreal. You've got to keep Boyd in the seven.

20:59Mike Minogue:No, I agree. I think it's definitely a good time to be a Warriors fan and I personally think Luke Metcalf was a great six anyway. He's a ball runner. Tanner Boyd can do the kicking, steering the team around the field and Luke Metcalf can still do his own thing. But yeah, a lot can change in a couple of weeks. This is the thing, man. You don't know.

21:19Keyzie:Yeah, I mean the Warriors could shit the bed, for example. Paul.

21:22Mike Minogue:Jase, they're not going to shit the bed, all right? Injuries might hamper it. We're already injury-affected, Charlie, which is what I'm loving. We are injury-affected, Keezy, but remember, we played the Knights without their two best players, and then next week, we got the Tigers. They've lost Luai and Dewey. And Adam Dewey, or Dewey. So it's very good. We're fortunes in our favour. 100%, Charlie. One quick question from me. Jackson Ford, he's averaging over 70 minutes a game in the middle there. You spent a lot of time sort of munting around in the middle as well, Charlie 70 minutes a game Off his head Playing 70 minutes a game like that in the middle How much of a heavy task is that?

22:05Mike Minogue:It's pretty heavy, I guess I mean, it's pretty heavy shit, Keasy I don't want to go into it on radio, but yeah, it's heavy Yeah, bro I remember back in your prime, Charlie Charlie, you'd be found wandering around in the ruck and next thing you know, the guy would be calling out over the PA saying that somebody's lost to Charlie Gubbin in jersey number 17. Oh, man, this is not what I came on the stage for, Charlie. It's just to get absolutely piled in on when's Pugsby back. Pugs is back in a few weeks, Charlie. But before we let you go, mate, who is your Porter King player of the round? Player of the round?

22:40It's got to go to Jackson Ford, just a big... What do they call him? The Great White Hope. The Terminator. I've heard Robocop another. Was that his 100th game as well?

22:50Mike Minogue:It was. 150th. It was 100, wasn't it? Yeah, it was 100th. Jackson Ford for doing an absolutely incredible job in the middle there. Thank you so much, Charlie. Gubb, mate. Thanks for coming on, brother. We really appreciate you. I love you, man. I appreciate you, fellas. Thanks, fellas. How are you coming to Magic Round, man? What's going on? I don't know. Come on, man. Come on, Gubby. Do it. Yeah, I'll come. Good on you, mate. Bring me along. Yeah, boy. Bring me along. Okay. Sweet, mate. We'll swap you out for Hoody J's ticket, mate. At least you'll have more fun over there. All right. See you, fellas.

23:23Mike Minogue:Thanks, Charlie. We'll speak to you next week. And don't forget, if you're in the Wellington area and you need a Portaloo, hit up Portaking Charlie's Portaloo business.

23:30Keyzie:Coming up after five o 'clock, by the way, Mogi went out over the weekend and it was an absolute debacle as per...

23:38Mike Minogue:The Hauraki Big Show with Jace, Mike and Keezy. Tune in weekdays at four on Radio Hauraki.

23:46Keyzie:Welcome to the biggest show on earth. Our biggest show.

23:49Mike Minogue:The biggest. Biggest. This is big.

23:51Keyzie:The Hodaki Big Show with Jason Hoyt, Mike Minogue and Keezy. You're welcome back, you mess of Bagbones. Hope you're surviving your Monday afternoon. The time is four minutes past five o 'clock. And you, my friends, are listening to The Big Show brought to you by Toledo's.

24:06Mike Minogue:Rehydrate the right way with Toledo's. Real natural ingredients and natural colours. Scow. Scow. Scow. Scow. Now you're drinking. Yum.

24:22Mike Minogue:How do we feel about that? Nine out of ten. Really? A nine? I was thinking it'd be more like a six. Oh, yeah.

24:28Keyzie:Yeah, yours was a one. Not even a one. I'm not even going to give that any buzzies. It was a disgrace.

24:36Mike Minogue:No buzzies for you. Jase, give me some buzzies, man.

24:39Keyzie:No. Why not? It was a disgrace. How are you fellas finding the whole petrol situation, by the way? I'm loving it. I don't drive anymore, so it's like I don't even notice. Yeah, I've got an electric vehicle. You've got an electric vehicle? Well, I tell a lie. My wife does. I've got a push bike with a flat tyre and two rooted other cars. Yes. And you've got a little truckie, a gas guzzler, don't you, Keezy? How's that going, mate? You're guzzling on that gas, Keezy, you guzzler.

25:08Mike Minogue:Well, fellas, the raise in fuel prices has affected me like it has affected every ordinary Kiwi out there. Obviously it doesn't affect you guys.

25:17Keyzie:Yeah, but you've got game of two halves money, so don't put yourself...

25:19Mike Minogue:That show hasn't been on air for so long. And yet still you swim in cash.

25:23Keyzie:Yeah, don't put yourself in the same camp as ordinary Kiwis, please, Keezy. Not with the big bucks you're rolling with.

25:31Mike Minogue:I am an ordinary Kiwi on ordinary big bucks. To be honest, I tell you what, it'd be a great time to have a motorcycle right now. I do, but it's taking a million years to get it registered. You're dead busy. Nah, it's just paperwork. You've got to do heaps of paperwork. It's taking so long.

25:47Keyzie:Now listen, Old Mogey. Hang on, I was talking about paperwork. Yeah, you're getting into admin chat again, and it's just boring me.

25:55Mike Minogue:Okay, talk about Old Mogey.

25:56Keyzie:Old Mogey went out over the weekend, and he was fuming at one point. We'll be discussing that next.

26:03Mike Minogue:The Hauraki Big Show, with Jason Hoyt, Mike Minogue, and Keezy.

26:08Keyzie:The Offspring there on the radio Hauraki Big Show this Monday afternoon. in the time, 14 minutes past 5 o 'clock. Fellas, I went to a mate's big party on the weekend. Big party it was. And in all honesty, so he was turning 52, actually. Oh, Giles. Giles, he's a mad dog. He's a mad dog. But it was a surprise birthday party for him, and it was also a surprise birthday party for me because it was organised by his partner, but it was organised through the Messenger app.

26:37Mike Minogue:Facebook Messenger? That's right. And I don't have Facebook, so I don't know anything about it. Now, it had been mentioned to me, obviously, however many months ago. And then, Jase, you've been through this before as well. You're expected to remember everything that your missus tells you. You know, like you're some kind of memory thing. Yeah, memory bank. So I got told about it on Friday that it was happening on the Saturday, and it was kind of news to me. And I was like, okay, well, that's all good. I didn't know anything about it. I got sent a screenshot at that point of all of the details around it.

27:09and what it said on the invite was arrival 5.30 to 6 for a 6.30 teppanyaki. You had the teppanyaki before, Keezy?

27:19Mike Minogue:I've had teppanyaki. That's Japanese. It's Japanese for cook food in front of you and throw it at you. So it was around his house. The guy turned up there and did it there, which is all good. I've done that before. Really fun. Great fun. Anyway, it gets to quarter to six. I'm ready. The wahs are on. The wahs are on. And they wanted you there, what, 5.30? Between 5.30 and 6 for a 6.30 start. Right. Okay. It gets to a quarter to six, and my wife goes and colours her hair, puts a highlight thing in it, which involves washing your hair. So we're sitting in the window. We're now in the window, 5.30 to 6.

27:58You should be showing up. We should be walking out of the door. Yeah. Instead, that's going on. And I'm thinking to myself, how are we going to get there on time? Then it gets washed out at around about two minutes to six. And I'm thinking to myself, well, we've still got, there's not much work to do, but there's still some things have to happen, like hair needs to be dried, face put on, clothes, et cetera, all of that. And I was just wondering, you know, what planet do you think people are on when it comes to that kind of thing. Because from my point of view, you need to leave the house so that you can be there at the time that the host wants you.

28:39Yes. Fair. But, and to be fair to my wife, that's the worst example that we've ever had of it. It's not what you're saying off air. But she didn't seem bothered by the timing at all. No. Were you bothered? Yeah. But I didn't say anything about it because there's no point. Just boil it up. I'm 12 years deep. I'm 12 years. Look, I'm going to be mature about it, Keezy. There's no point. You just recognise your differences. And if you've got a problem with it, talk about it on your national radio show. 100%. Like a real man.

29:08Mike Minogue:Yeah, 100%. Okay. That's the best way. So what is going on there? Because I think you should try and get to a place on time. But there are people that just don't care. And I'm not saying it's always woman. My wife. Well, that's good because that would be a sweeping generalisation.

29:26Keyzie:And I've got to be very careful here. Oh, yeah. She'll be listening. Yeah. She has a habit of, we go, okay, let's go and go for a walk in town. And she'll go, yeah, that's a good idea. And then I'll go, you ready? And she'll go, yep. And then I'll open the door, I'll go to go out the door and she'll go, oh, hang on, and turn around and go back in again. Every single time.

29:52Mike Minogue:Wow, what is that, like a 30-second interruption?

29:55Keyzie:Often it's longer than that, Keezy. Yes. And she'll be like, oh, where did I put it?

30:03yesterday, after we went out for the dinner, we were lying in bed reading the paper croissants, having a coffee, as we always do. My wife said, should we go for a walk? Should we go for a walk? And I said, yeah, yeah, let's do it. She came back, you know, maybe five minutes later and said, Frankie's all ready to go, my daughter. Mogi Minogi's all ready to go. Let's go. And I said, oh, I'll just jump in the shower. And she goes, oh. I said, well, I always have a shower. I'll be another five minutes. So she was upset that from the time she came up with the idea to us walking out the house was 10 minutes.

30:38But the previous day.

30:39Mike Minogue:Colouring the hair and that, yeah. Because my initial instinct, I'll be honest, was here we go, Mogey gets a bit more upset when it comes to hair stuff because he wears a wig. You know what I mean? Oh, he's got a hair hat. He wears a hair hat. Yeah. That was my initial thing. But now that I know the timing's involved, yeah, it is a bit, you know. But is it normal for people out there is what I want to know. Well, you were saying Keezy off air. Yeah. Oh, my God.

31:02Keyzie:You were fuming because you said your wife does the same thing where she'll literally have a shower as you're getting the car keys.

31:10Mike Minogue:Yeah. Yeah, yeah, totally. Well, it's like yesterday. We went to go for a walk, and I was like, do you want to go for a walk? She's like, yep, keen. I was like, okay, cool. Should we go right now? Yep, sweet. We get out there. I've slid into my sandals, and she's putting on shoes and doing up laces and putting socks on, and I'm like, come on, let's go. You know? It's like, what's that about? She's shocking. Out of all of ours, easily. I don't know about easily. 3483, let us know how much you relate.

31:42Keyzie:Love you, your beloved.

31:45Mike Minogue:Wait, so 3483, text us how much you'd love your partner or relate. And relate. We've actually got 50 bucks cash daily. Oh, that's for gas. That's gas money. Is that gas money, is it? Thanks to Toledo. So every text in the drawer. 3483, can you relate at all? The Hauraki Big Show. With Jason Hoyt, Mike Minogue and Casey.

32:04Keyzie:Let's put three backbones in the draw, shall we, fellas?

32:07Mike Minogue:This is for Magic Round, of course. If you don't know what Magic Round is, it's the best weekend ever, especially if you like your rugby league. You come over to Brizzy with us, fellas and Pugson, and boystrip.co.nz. Three nights, Suncorp Stadium, eight games of footy. When we're not at the footy, we're at Caxton Street, which is the street right by Suncorp Stadium. It's filled to the brim with pubs, which are filled to the brim with footy fans, people wearing all different jerseys. There's a special WARS pub for the WARS game. The Royal Albert, the Prince Albert. Yep, yep, one of those. Whatever it's called there.

32:40Mike Minogue:It's packed to the gunnels, Jase.

32:43Keyzie:Yes, it is, mate. It absolutely goes off. Let's go to the phone lines. G'day, Scotty, you mad bastard. How's life? Scotty? Scotty, you mad dog. Is it, mate? Yeah, good, thanks, mate. What do you do for a crust, Scotty? I'm an engineer, mate. Oh, you're right. Oh, you're right. Obviously, Scotty, you love your rugby league. Who's your favourite warrior? It's got to be RTS, bro. RTS, bro. Jason, that's Roger Toobas. You're shit. That's good to know. I did know that, Gizzy. You didn't know that. I totally knew that. Still got a step on him, old RTS, hasn't he?

33:19Mike Minogue:100%. Douche, douche. Oh, douche, douche, douche. Loves it.

33:22Keyzie:Well, great stuff, Scotty. You're in the draw, mate, so stay on the line and we'll sort you out, all right? Yes, fellas. Good on you, mate. G'day, Joseph, you mad bastard. How's life?

33:31Mike Minogue:Life is bloody good. How's life for you? Oh, mate. It's okay, mate.

33:35Keyzie:You know, getting by, getting by. Tell me, you love your rugby league there, Joseph? I'm quite partial to it, especially when they go to douche against people. To douche. Like hitting a brick wall. Yeah, you get it, man. You understand the game of buck-ballee.

33:48Mike Minogue:Joseph, man, what do you do for a crust, brother? Irrigation. Oh! Way to go, man. You're a backbone, brother. Massive backbone. If you happen to win, man, who would you bring with you?

33:58Keyzie:Probably a coffer. Either my wife or my best mate. I had to flip a coin. Oh, well, yeah. Like, who do you want to bring? Well, I would like to bring Teasies, Mrs., but I think that's off the card, so we'll just carry on. You're in, brother. Jeez. You're in, brother. You're coming.

34:16Mike Minogue:This guy gets it. Joseph. Joseph. Yes? Come on, man. What are you doing? Well, I'm trying to give her a holiday with you. I thought you'd like that. Yeah, true. Thanks, brother. Yeah, imagine that. Actually, that's a good deal. If you win, or I can put in a good word for you, you agree to take my partner, my wife, and then me and her can have a little magic round holiday. How does that sound?

34:37Keyzie:Well, I did hear that there's a kid on the way, so this would be a great opportunity for you, so yeah.

34:42Mike Minogue:Joseph, that is a lie. You're in the draw, brother.

34:44Keyzie:That's so exciting. G'day, Matt. No, it's not. G'day, Matt, you mad bastard. How's life? Yeah, good there, hoity. How you going, mate? Yeah, all right, mate. Getting by, Matt. Getting by. What do you do for a crust, mate? Mate, I work on an avocado and kiwifruit orchard. Oh, you're joking. You don't work on one of Keezy's plantations, do you? Oh, nah, nah, nah, mate. I'm up in the far north, not down that Tauranga, mate. Oh, you're good on you, Matty. How's the avocado season been, mate? Yeah, no, it's been pretty good. We're just starting to do our kiwifruit now. Oh, mate.

35:19Mike Minogue:Hey, Matt from Whangarei, just a question. My parents' plantation in Tauranga was really badly affected by all the storms and stuff, man. Did that happen to you guys up north?

35:28Keyzie:Yeah, it sure did, mate. Yeah, there's plenty of orchards around the area that still haven't bounced back from the Phytophora.

35:36Mike Minogue:Yeah, not good, man. I'll tell you what, man. If you win, we'll meet up at Caxton Street there and we'll chat avos, eh? Oh, sounds good. Keezy, sounds good. All right, bro. You're in the draw, mate. You hold the line there and Zoe will chuck you in the draw. So good, fellas.

35:48Keyzie:It would be a devastating thing, wouldn't it, to have an orchard and then a weather sort of factor comes through and just destroys all of your work. It would be annoying, yeah.

35:57Mike Minogue:Yeah, very annoying. Do you get insured for that, Kesey? My parents don't. Yeah, yeah. People would though, right? You'd have to. I'm not sure. I don't know enough about it. Yeah. All I know is that it completely wiped out my parents' entire crop for the year. You still talk about league, though. What do you mean? Well, you know, you're just saying that you don't want to talk about insurance for crops because you don't know anything about it. Yeah. Oh, but I still do. How dare you? I know about rugby league.

36:22Keyzie:Good stuff, fellas.

36:24Mike Minogue:Hey, Jase, just quickly. Yes? BoysTrip.co.nz. If you want to guarantee your spot. That was clever, Mo. Yeah, I completely went over my head there. BoysTrip.co.nz. If you want to guarantee your spot on this trip, go on there, buy a package, get your mates to do the same, and we will see you at Magic Round. I've got a couple of mates that are coming. They're jumping on the boys' trip thing as well. A couple of mates from Levin, so she's going to be a her of a trip, I tell you what. The Hauraki Big Show with Jace, Mike and Keezy Tune in weekdays at 4 on Radio Hauraki

36:52Keyzie:Chilli Peppers here on the Radio Hauraki Big Show This Monday afternoon The time is 5.42 And fellas, an extraordinary and strange thing Happened to old Hoity J today

37:04Mike Minogue:Was it a strange encounter?

37:07Keyzie:I guess you could say it was Strange encounters of the Hoity car

37:16Keyzie:I was having a hot, soapy shower. Lathering my toned and muscular body. Cleansing it, if you will. I then got out of the shower and admired myself in the mirror. Why wouldn't you?

37:35Mike Minogue:Can you get to the point of the story, please?

37:37Keyzie:This is part of the story, Keel. I then dried myself off, Mogi. Slowly. sensually and then i wrapped the bath towel around my waist and walked into my bedroom and low without a word of a lie right in the middle of my bedroom window is a dude in a harness swinging outside my window i was like what the actual

38:08Keyzie:is going on. Now, I'm just going to explain to you, in the apartment that I live, I'm quite high up, as you fellas know. I'm quite high up. I'm not at the top floor, but I'm like mid-floor. That's the second story. And so, without a word of a lie, there was a dude right in the middle of my bedroom window swinging away there, and I'm like, what the? So I go, oh, and I retreat out of there. And then I walk into my lounge without a word of a lie. There's another dude. Oh, two-de-dudes. Two-de-dudes. There's another dude right in the middle of my window of my lounge. He also was just in a harness.

38:52Was he also hanging there or was he just in a harness?

38:54Keyzie:He was just literally hanging in a harness right in the middle of my lounge window. So I strut over there.

39:02Mike Minogue:You stagger over there.

39:03Keyzie:And I opened up the window and I said to him, hey, mate, what's going on? And he said, oh, we're just cleaning the windows. And I went, oh, okay, oh, gee, oh, gee, this is a bit weird. Played it cool. Without a word of a lie, he sat in his harness in my lounge, swinging right in the middle of my window for 20 minutes, and he didn't clean diddly shit. And for clarity, he was swinging outside your lounge window. Yeah, lit outside, like a foot from my window. Yeah. And so 20 minutes passed, and I kid you not, he spent the entire 20 minutes on his phone. Now, it may very well be that he was taking photos of my nude and prone body.

39:50Why were you prone?

39:51Keyzie:That's what you're bent over. Were you lying down? Well, I got on the yoga mat. Yeah, right. And I was doing the downward dog and just stretching, because you know how my hip and my lower, because, Keezy, you've been telling me I need to do stretches.

40:03Mike Minogue:Yeah, you've listened to me, sure, yeah.

40:04Keyzie:So it may have been that he was slightly off-put by me doing a nude downward dog with my ass in the air pointed straight at him at the window there. Yeah, right. Well, you're doing the Nuss press. I did do the Nuss press at one point, yes. Well, you've got to, don't you? You do. And that's my Monday routine. The downward dog and the Nuss press.

40:24Mike Minogue:You don't think he was intentionally not cleaning the window so that it would be harder for everyone outside to look in and see you doing those things.

40:33Keyzie:Well, you can't see me doing those things as I say. I'm very high up in the apartment. You'd have to climb a tree to see that sort of action.

40:39Mike Minogue:Yeah, right, okay.

40:40Keyzie:Did he eventually clean the windows? No. And so I wander over there, slightly aroused. To the window? To the window, yeah, yeah. And I open up the window again and I go, are you actually going to clean the window, man, or are you just going to sort of hang there? And he said, oh, no, we'll get to it. And I slammed the bloody window, so I was fuming and got the old fatos caught in it.

41:10Mike Minogue:Jeez, it hurt. I've been to your house. The window's quite high up. Yes.

41:18Keyzie:As I say, Keezy, I was slightly aroused at that time. Right, okay. And I'd been leaning out the window to sort of see what he was doing.

41:25Mike Minogue:Yeah, right, you were still naked.

41:26Keyzie:And I was still naked and he slammed the window. Bugger if I could get the bastard open again.

41:32Mike Minogue:Yeah, right.

41:34Keyzie:Unbelievable, though. Unbelievable. It is unbelievable. Hard to believe. And he was wearing a warrior's shirt as well.

41:44Keyzie:You don't think he would have been taking photos of you?

41:47Mike Minogue:No, as much as you wanted him to.

41:48Keyzie:Doing the nuts press and stuff. No, I don't think so, man. Or the downward dog.

41:53Mike Minogue:The Hauraki Big Show with Jase, Mike and Keezy. Tune in weekdays at four on Radio Hauraki.

42:05Keyzie:Welcome back, you massive backbones. Hope you are surviving your Monday. You're listening to The Big Show brought to you by Toledo.

42:16Mike Minogue:From work days to workouts, Toledo's natural electrolyte drinks keep you balanced, refreshed and ready to go. Glug, glug, glug. Toledo's, more like yum-litos. Now you're slurping. I reckon we're on to something here. This is good marketing. Now, I've said now you're slurping before, and you didn't rate it, but now you're using it? What's going on? Eight buzzies. Eight buzzies out of ten. You saying it, as opposed to Mogey saying it. Oh, it's all about the voice, you're right. It's all of the intonation, Mogey. Yeah, no, you're right.

42:46Keyzie:You know what I'm saying there? Now you're slurping. Mate. How did you do it again? Now you're slurping. No, you didn't.

42:51Mike Minogue:No, that's too much mustard on that one. Yeah, yeah. Way too much mustard. That was a shitter. What was that? That's probably, if anything, that's probably harmed their business. We've got a sponsor who's come on board. Kiwi Company, family startup, Backbones. We've met them and you've damaged their business.

43:08Keyzie:They'll still love me, man. They'll still love me. And that's what's most important. Hey, now, if you're in your car and you've just arrived home, don't leave. Stay in your car because coming up next is Keezy's News of the Day. That's not what it's called. And in the meantime... A very good song. A very, very good song.

43:27Mike Minogue:The Hauraki Big Show with Jason Hoyt, Mike Minogue and Keezy.

43:32Keyzie:Blind Melon there on the radio. Hauraki Big Show this Monday evening. The time is ten minutes past six o 'clock. You've been waiting for it, New Zealand. And here it is. What's on the news? With me, Casey. Great start. Brilliant. Great start. Brilliant.

43:54Mike Minogue:I haven't done anything. I just played it. No, that sting is good. It is a great sting. Thank you. Well, I didn't make it. Pugs made it. I don't want to be sitting here taking credit for Pugs. Sure. He's the one that did all the work. Okay, it's going downhill at the moment. Yeah, you've lost track. Fiela's new wastewater testing shows cocaine use in New Zealand. Come on, man.

44:16Keyzie:It's always hard to recover from that, you know what I mean? We're talking about stage shows. You fluff your first line, Keezy, on stage, she's a long road back, mate.

44:25Mike Minogue:I hear what you're saying, but what the hell is a stage show? Is that when someone stands on stage and sort of just sews something with a sewing machine?

44:36Mike Minogue:God, are you? Fellas, new wastewater testing shows cocaine use in New Zealand has reached record highs. Highs. Nice. I like what you've done there, man. Thanks. That was unintentional. Continuing a strong upward trend in recent years. Okay, cocaine use is going through the roof here. I'm with you. They tested the wastewater to find that out. What do you do? There's one of the log breakers down there. At the turd plant. At the turd stirring plant. He just whacks a sieve in the... Yeah, and gets out all the cocaine. and then just filters it out.

45:07Keyzie:I don't understand why they're chucking the cocaine in the toilet in the first place. That's a good question. What's the story with that, Kesey?

45:13Mike Minogue:Just doing some research here. They're not chucking it in the toilet. Well, some of it might. Right. But mostly it's like you ingest the cocaine. Right. And then you do poos or whatever and then there's cocaine in the poos. Oh, cocaine poos. Never heard of that, actually. Haven't you? No. It's actually interesting. The areas of New Zealand feelers. Oh, good. Bay of Plenty had the highest cocaine use. Bay of Plenty. Bay of Plenty of cocaine. Yeah, this guy gets it. Second good joke of the segment, man. This is awesome.

45:46Mike Minogue:Northland.

45:48Keyzie:That doesn't surprise me. Northland, really?

45:50Mike Minogue:I haven't even finished my sentence. That would surprise me. All I said was Northland and it didn't surprise Jase. What were you thinking? I was going to say Taranaki.

45:57Keyzie:Taranaki goes off, yeah.

45:59Mike Minogue:Well, no. Northland was the worst for meth. Oh, yeah. Yeah. That doesn't surprise me. Yeah, yeah. Was it the worst or the best? Sorry. What makes it best or worst? Well, I guess it's the worst. They don't have much. No, no, they've got heaps. Oh, that's bad. Actually, you're right. So I should change that. So Northland is the best for meth. Yeah, if you want meth, that's the best place to go because it's got heaps. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Is that right? Yep. But it's mostly in people's wheeze or poos.

46:27Keyzie:Yeah, yeah, yeah. That should be their new banner. Northland. Meth capital of the country or something. Yeah, or something. Yeah. That's the key. I like that.

46:35Mike Minogue:Yeah, they just sort of run out of steam halfway through it and just go, oh, something. And then they have a shock. And lose confidence. Well, you wouldn't. You wouldn't lose confidence, would you? You'd be full of confidence. You'd be full of confidence. Because of all the meth.

46:46Keyzie:Exactly. The only thing wrong with the way Jase delivered that was he hasn't got enough meth in his system.

46:52Mike Minogue:Yeah, which is a nice change.

46:53Keyzie:He's filtering out.

46:55Mike Minogue:It's time for your top-up, Jase.

47:00Mike Minogue:Down south, actually, Southland. The best. We've got good names for places around here. Southland. We've got the Bay of Plenty. There's heaps of cocaine. We've got Northland. And then we've got Southland. What have they got? It's the best for MDMA. Oh, it's the best. Okay. So there's heaps of it. So there's lots of people on the old MDMA down in Southland. Yeah, right. So obviously more needs to be done to combat this stuff, fellas. It's too accessible nowadays, drugs. Auckland needs to lift its game.

47:26Keyzie:Yeah, how come Auckland's not on that list?

47:28Mike Minogue:Well, it's not about Auckland increasing its drug use. Yes, it is. It's about New Zealand as a whole.

47:34Keyzie:We're getting our asses handed to us at the moment.

47:37Mike Minogue:So what do you want to say? Auckland is going to do more drugs. Is that what you're saying? Yes. You want to keep being a loser? The Hauraki Big Show podcast.

47:44Keyzie:Pearl Jam there on the radio. Hauraki Big Show. Monday evening, 6.24.

47:51Mike Minogue:Fellas, testicular cancer is the number one cancer among young fellas here in New Zealand. It is, however, highly treatable when caught early, but guys just aren't checking. They aren't having a look. So to help convince everyone to have a look, there is now a lump lottery. Find a lump, win a ute. It is that simple. The ticket is in your pants, so have a check right now.

48:10Keyzie:Okay.

48:11Mike Minogue:And then, yeah, not you, Jase. Oh. Well, I mean, I suppose.

48:14Keyzie:Can you help a mate? How does this sort of thing you help a mate?

48:16Mike Minogue:Sure. I mean, you can help a mate by encouraging them. Yeah.

48:19Keyzie:Well, you just grab hold of these inkies and see if you can feel any lumps.

48:22Mike Minogue:Jesus. Moe, you're going to need more than just my hands, brother. I reckon. Lumplottery.co.nz if you'd like to win a ute. I highly suggest heading along.

48:32Keyzie:Great stuff, mate. Pretty important too. Get into it, New Zealand.

48:36Mike Minogue:Thanks, mate. Hey, over the weekend, fellas, I went into the hospital, Auckland Hospital, to get an MRI. We'll talk about why I went there later in the week. But I went to the bathroom there and I was just sort of getting a little bit worried about my propensity to just say things out loud for no particular reason. 100%. Yeah, have you noticed that, Kesey? Yeah, your favourite is at the airport. Oh, yeah. You'll just really loudly yell, Keezy! And everyone will turn around and look in our direction. Do you know you're doing that? No. Keezy! And everyone turns around.

49:13Keyzie:It's often at the start of our podcast outro too.

49:17Mike Minogue:Yeah.

49:17Keyzie:You'll just have an absolute spewing of loud noises. That's right. That's right. And there's no, you know, it just is. Sometimes you just don't have control over your body. And what am I meant to do about it? It's got nothing to do with me. True. That's actually how I feel about it. So anyway, I was in the toilet and I was at the urinal at the hospital there. And I was sort of walking away as a guy came in to the bathroom. And I don't know if you guys do this. And it's also, it's got nothing to do with me. I just had a thought in my head that just jumped in there. Nothing to do with me at all.

49:50I didn't stop and think, I'm going to think this. The thing that jumped into my head was, the thing that jumped into my head was I bet this guy's running an absolute weapon. Yeah, nice.

50:04Mike Minogue:So you instantly thought this guy's going to hog on him. Yeah. I don't know why. Was he a particularly big guy? I can't even remember what he looked like. Beside the point. But the problem was it was just me and him in the urinal. Now what I thought was I bet this guy is running

50:24and that's what I thought. But then what I said out loud to him and me was absolute weapon.

50:33Mike Minogue:You eyeballed him and just said that. So he's wondering why has this guy just said absolute weapon. Was he talking about himself? Was he talking about me? Was he talking about my downstairs? Yeah, I don't know. So there you go. I don't know. That is an issue though, isn't it? I think it would only be an issue if you were on live radio or something. Because if it's just in everyday life, it doesn't matter. But if you were broadcasting, I think it would be an issue.

50:58Keyzie:Yeah, yeah, yeah. I have a similar thing, Mogi, going on, but you'd be surprised to hear.

51:04Mike Minogue:I bet his is worse, though.

51:05Keyzie:No, it's not worse. I talked to you about it when we were down at the Hokitika Food Festival. Oh, sniff. It's when I'm in a large group of people, like a large crowd, I literally just walk around without anyone necessarily addressing me at all or going, thanks mate. Thanks mate.

51:25Mike Minogue:I've noticed you're doing that.

51:27Keyzie:Thanks mate. It's just like this automatic response in my body where I'm like, thanks mate. You just say thanks mate because you know somebody's about to say something to you. Yes. Thanks mate. Thanks mate. Yeah. Thanks mate.

51:39Mike Minogue:Yeah, right. So that's from having people saying stuff to you and you saying thanks mate all the time. What's up with Mogi's one though?

51:46Keyzie:I just think he's got some issues.

51:49Mike Minogue:Yeah.

51:49Keyzie:He's got some serious issues. What were you doing in the toilets at Auckland Hospital, by the way, Jase? Showing off my weapon.

52:01Mike Minogue:So you went to the hospital, into the toilets, to show off your weapon. Yes, I did, Kesey. You're a shocking bastard. Yeah, OK, no further questions. The Hauraki Big Show with Jason Hoyt, Mike Minogue and Kesey.

52:14Keyzie:Guns, roses there on the Radio Hauraki Big Show this Monday evening. But right now it's time for... Me, Petty Nips 69. At gmail.com. Get in touch with the fellas.

52:33Mike Minogue:That's right, me, Petty Nips 69 at gmail.com. Get in touch with the fellas. 100 % free advice, 100 % anonymous. Not only is it free, actually, we will pay you for it. If we read it out on the show, then you get a prize. I heard some people last week, fellas, got some backbone tees. Oh, my God. How good. Don't be afraid to send. Don't say it like that, man. Backbone tees are cool. They are, though. Have you seen the new designs, Keezy? Backbone.

53:03Keyzie:I even gave one off my very body the other day. You did.

53:08Mike Minogue:Fellas, this one here comes in. Are you financial advice? G'day there, fellas. Fellas. Last year, my dear old grandma passed away at the grand old age of 31. This, sorry, 91. 31.

53:26Keyzie:That's a young granny, I was going to say.

53:29Mike Minogue:And how old's the guy right again, you know, if she was, anyway. This year, I've been surprised to receive a portion of the inheritance. It's nothing crazy, but it's more money than I presently know what to do with. As such, I'm worried I'll end up pissing away my grandparents' life's work on the horses and an industrial quantity of darts Do Pharaoh Dog Squad Money Hoyt Millionaire Moggy or old Money Bucks Keezy have any advice on sensible investments or maybe a Euro Summer? Any advice is appreciated

54:00Keyzie:Well, you could do the Keezy and buy Lego Yeah Well, no, you can Second-hand Lego

54:06Mike Minogue:No, you don't buy second-hand You buy a specific limited-run set Well, we don't know it works yet. I'd like to know this guy's age. Same, and how much money it was. Yes, because, well, she was 91. How old her daughter when she had, I reckon he's 30. Maybe 18.

54:23Keyzie:30, something like that.

54:24Mike Minogue:I reckon he's about 30-odd.

54:25Keyzie:I can't think of a better thing to do than piss it all away. And smoke durries.

54:30Mike Minogue:I don't think so. I like when it comes, because I got some inheritance from my grandfather when he passed. Old money bags, inheritance cash over here. I don't know about this. Now this explains a lot Oh plantation geese Mogi He was an electrician He fixed toast He was what? He fixed What was that? He was a He was a male prostitute

54:58Keyzie:This show's falling apart Right

55:01Mike Minogue:And he left me inheritance A small amount and when I was spending it I pictured him and what he would say if I was spending it and he you know what he said when we put it towards a trip overseas yeah he said yeah it's good that's good eating

55:19Keyzie:I thought he was dead

55:20Mike Minogue:no he did I was picturing him oh right

55:23Keyzie:yeah I see

55:23Mike Minogue:yeah yeah so I think a trip overseas I think your grandma would love to know it depends what else he's got going on though if he's got no house or you know he's emailing in to meet Paddy Nipsook He's got nothing going on. This guy is an idiot. He's an idiot. He's an absolute drongo. Do get in touch, though, if you need any advice.

55:43Mike Minogue:I think a trip, personally, is my vote. What do you guys reckon? Hmm. How much money has he got? Well, he said it's a bit, but not heaps. Let's just say.

55:56Keyzie:It's more than he's used to. Yeah, right. Should we just say. And how old is he?

56:00Mike Minogue:He's 30. Should we just say 10 grand and he's 30? Okay Okay, what would you do? Queen of the Nile Gasoline Buy gas There's a lot of money in gasoline at the moment Right, okay Yep And then Buy high But gas goes off, you know After six months it's losing its quality Goes off It goes off Does it? Not in a good way, in a bad way 100 % So you think buy petrol Jase, what are you saying? Queen of the Nile Pokies Yeah Double or nothing Yes The Hauraki Big Show with Jace, Mike and Keezy. Tune in weekdays at four on Radio Hauraki.

56:36Keyzie:Well, there you go, you mad bastards. That's the big show done and dusted this Monday. Do we have a podcast outro clip today, Keezy?

56:44Mike Minogue:Of course we have. Why? Because Pugs is the way. You don't think Zoe can do it.

56:47Keyzie:Well, I'm sure Zoe can. I just didn't know if she had or not.

56:49Mike Minogue:Of course she has, man.

56:50Keyzie:I didn't want to throw her under the bus or anything.

56:52Mike Minogue:Nah, she's onto it, man.

56:53Keyzie:Oh, I'm sure.

56:54Mike Minogue:Here's today's clip. It's entitled Nappies. It came off. You wear a different kind of pad when you're out and about, man.

57:03Keyzie:It'll still happen. I don't wear adult nappies, all right? He refuses to, despite doctor's advice. And if my undies are a bit damp at the end of the day, so be it. Hey, there you go, Jase. Oh, pissy pants. Is that what they call them? Yeah. Pissy pants, hoity J.

57:27Mike Minogue:Have you ever had a nickname? Have you ever wet your pants at school? Have you ever had a nickname? A nickname? Have you ever wet your pants at school in front of people and been bullied for it?

57:34Keyzie:No. No.

57:36Mike Minogue:I'm picking you have. No, I 100 % haven't. I definitely haven't. Bird shit, Chris. And? No, I haven't. Okay. Sweet. That's cool. I don't believe you.

57:48Keyzie:You don't have to be so defensive about it.

57:50Mike Minogue:Good, but I'm just glad. Nobody text in about it. That's all I'll say. Why would they? Because nothing happened.

57:55Keyzie:Pissy pants, Keezy. What are you up to tonight, Mogey? Mogey! I might go straight to bed. I had a hurr of a sleep last night. Did you? A hurr of a sleep.

58:03Mike Minogue:Have you been having your sleepy tea, man? I didn't have it last night, but my daughter came in a couple of times and woke us up with some great chat. But still, God, once that stops happening, Jase, you'll know this, having had four daughters. Yes. Once they stop coming in and just waking you up ten times a night, God, life gets better. Sure does, mate.

58:25Keyzie:Sure does. Now, Keezy, your wife is out tonight. She's got touch. You've already had your dinner, you said. You had a massive amount of sushi, but I suspect you're going to go home and have another massive amount of food. Oh, yeah, he's not done. I'm going to go home and cook dinner for my wife.

58:39Mike Minogue:He'll be home at about 8.30. Yeah, you're right.

58:41Keyzie:What are you cooking?

58:42Mike Minogue:Burgers. Don't laugh. What's wrong with burgers? And frozen patties. Smash burgers? Nah, regular. What are you doing tonight, Jase?

58:51Keyzie:I'm just about to go and meet my wife. Looking for your top button? Meet my wife. If I don't do my top button up, Mogey, I'm not a square.

58:59Mike Minogue:Well, have fun with that, man. Thanks, man. Good stuff. I'll tell her your review too.

59:03Keyzie:She's already fuming. I've given her a few hands.

59:05Mike Minogue:8.5 and her performance was a 10. What else do I need? God. See you tomorrow? Yeah, all right. Bye. See ya.

59:15See ya.