FULL SHOW: What aren't they eating?

20:10Keyzie:The story and the script is actually written for this particular show by the daughter. Right. The real-life daughter. The real-life daughter who was actually taken by her father away. Again, visually beautiful. It's Mexican. It's Mexican, so there's subtitles. See? You know, some people go, yeah, see, see. I don't know. Some people go, subtitles, not doing it. I love it. I often say that, but this one, it looks pretty good, actually. Visually amazing, quite an interesting story, but it just got a little too Mills and Booney. No, it did it. Which is a reference from the 60s. What does that mean?

20:50That was a love story.

20:51Keyzie:Mills and Boone is just terrible love stories. It got a bit sort of... Sappy. Sappy, yeah. But they must have put some sort of lenses on the camera because visually it's amazing. They would have put some lenses on those cameras probably. You know, the colours and stuff are incredible. Yeah, right. But a kind of interesting story. But as I say, it just got a bit sort of mills and booney. What was it called? How many buzzies? No one saw us leave. I'll give it 2.6 buzzies. And you watched that on? Netflix. Right. Over the weekend while I was at my romantic glamping getaway in the bush. I'm amazed you had time to watch anything.

21:26Keyzie:Am I right? We watched Hunt for the Wilder People. So busy stuff in your face. We watched Hunt for the Wilder People. Yay! And it was my wife's choice. She was like, oh, 10-year anniversary, let's watch Hunt for the Wilder People. Haven't watched it since it was at the cinema where we saw it twice. Yeah. We were in hysterics for almost two, however long it is. It's a hysterical film. It's so funny. Yeah. It's really great. I will say, however, the start of Hunt for the Wilderpeople is up there with, have you seen Up, the Pixar film? It is up there with the beginning of Up in terms of emotion. Right.

22:04Because it's so happy and great. And then, you know, if you haven't seen the film, I won't spoil it, but there's this sadness. And then I was genuinely devastated. Even though I knew it was coming, it's still like, oh, gosh. Yeah. But super well made. I really, really, really, really recommend if you haven't seen it yet. Lighten it in a bottle. Actually, when we left the screening of it last week, it didn't really occur to me that there would be people in the cinema that hadn't seen it as we were walking out. I was walking behind a youngish couple, and she said, yeah, I really liked it, but I hate the title.

22:38And I was like, oh, yeah, of course. There's people that have never heard of this film.

22:41Keyzie:Hunt for the Little People. I hate that title. I haven't seen it, and I don't intend to, but that's great, man. Sounds good. How many buzzies? Five buzzies out of five. You've got to watch it. It's a Kiwi classic. I absolutely adore that film. No, it's a great film. I loved it. Heaps coming up after 5 o 'clock, by the way. Including your chance to get in the draw for Magic Round. So listen out for that cue to call and get ready to call 0800-HAURAKI. The Hauraki Big Show with Jace, Mike and Keezy. Tune in weekdays at 4 on Radio Hauraki. You're welcome back, you massive backbones. Hope you're surviving your Tuesday afternoon.

23:16Keyzie:You are, in fact, listening to The Big Show, brought to you by Toledo's. From work days to workouts, Toledo's keeps you balanced, refreshed, and ready to go.

23:31Toledo's. Hey, toledos.co.nz, by the way, if you'd like to order some, they are natural electrolyte beverages made right here in New Zealand and a great young couple. Little start-up business, eh? Yeah, man. Totally, man.

23:47Keyzie:I don't go anywhere around the city without a bottle of Toledo's in my knapsack. Oh, yeah, you've got a knapsack. Yeah, well, you know, like a little side man bag. Yeah. Oh, you've got a man bag and a knapsack. Yeah, I've got a man bag and a knapsack. But whatever I'm carrying at the time, I'll have a Toledo's in there. I want a bum bag. Because then you could have a bum bag and a knapsack and a man bag. And a man bag. Hang on, but you've got a satchel. And a satchel. Oh, yeah, so you've got your satchel and your man bag and your bum bag and your backpack. I was going to say, don't forget the backpack.

24:21Keyzie:Is that a fanny pack as well? Yeah, no, I've got a fanny pack as well. Right, okay. So you've got a fanny pack and a bum bag and a satchel and a man bag and a suitcase. And every one of those has a Toledo's in it. Yeah, right, good stuff. Good eating. Because I don't want to be caught short without a Toledo's. Bloody oath, Jase. Does every one of those bags have a bag of chips in it as well? And durries. No, Moggy, they don't. I haven't had a durry in a very, very long time. When's the last time you had a vape? Five minutes ago? Yeah. Remember when you lied about quitting vaping and then your wife told us?

24:58Keyzie:Keezy, Keezy, I didn't lie. That was so bad. I told a story and maybe charmed it a little bit too much. You lied to us. I was so proud of you. And then your wife was like, what's he talking about? He still vapes. Yeah, that was shocking. That's all right. She said a lot of lies that night, though, to be fair. Oh, did she lie? Yeah, right. She was just trying to make me look bad in front of the fellas. Yeah. I wondered, actually, if you're off the vapes, because I know when you're off the vapes, you eat a lot, and you seem to have been doing that lately. Okay. Here's Foo Fighters. The Hauraki Big Show with Jace, Mike and Kesey.

25:36Tune in weekdays at 4 on Radio Hauraki.

25:38Keyzie:Live there on the Radio Hauraki Big Show this Tuesday afternoon. The time is 5.14 and we have breaking news.

25:51This is breaking news. Fellas, the old big show, which is us, Big Dilly currently, but I think this will involve Pug San because he'll be back from Vietnam then. How many weeks has he got left? Just this week, I think. This is the final week. This is it. Yeah, which sucks for him. Yeah, stick for him. Sucks for us too. Dilly's doing a great job. Yeah, it sucks for us that Pugs is coming back. Yeah, it sucks for us and for the listener. But that's not the breaking news. That's old news. That's old news. Everyone knows that. Get on with it, Kesey. Sorry, Jase, could you throw to it again one more time, man?

26:26Breaking news.

26:31This is Breaking News. Great people of Dunedin. We are packing up the old big show and we are taking it on the road down to your vicinity. Fellas, we're going back to Dene and we're doing it at Emerson's Brewery.

26:45Keyzie:Oh, yeah. We've been there before. It was a massive show, a huge show. Oh, it was. It reached capacity. The building reached capacity before the show even started. It was skewed down the road. Jase had it. You hated it, didn't you, Jase? What I hated was during that show, So someone, one of you idiots, suggested that the audience members could slap my ass whenever they see me. And so I had people slapping my ass all night long. Even while I was doing wheeze. Oh, this is a bit more meat on your ass this year. Yeah, I reckon. Don't do it to Jason if you see him this year, alright? Yeah, actually, Mogi, good.

27:26Don't. No, seriously, don't. I didn't know you had a bad experience, so please don't. Don't do that.

27:31Keyzie:And you're right, I do have a bit more, you know, junk in the trunk. Oh, you do? Yeah. Yeah, yeah, yeah. You got that caboose. But that doesn't mean it's okay that you can just be slapped around. No, well, totally. It's my ass. I didn't say it's, you know, a free-for-all on my ass. Plenty to go around, though, to be fair. Totally, yeah. Well, that's rich for coming from you, bloody moggy, with your gut hanging on the bloody table there. Is that what that is? Hey, the reason we're going down there, fellas, is because they've released a seriously hazy, flavour-packed IPA called Emerson's Hazed and Confused.

28:05So, Wednesday, the 22nd of April. It's in a couple of weeks' time. Wednesday, we'll be at Emerson's Brewery. Come on down. First 100 of you mad bastards through the door. We'll score a free Backbone Tea. 4 p.m. till 7, the show will be live. Yeah. Can't bloody wait. And do not slap Jase's ass.

28:21Keyzie:Siri, just remind me, 22nd of April there, I'll be in Dunedin. Thanks, mate. Any response from Siri? No, she's going to tell me when it happens, obviously. Oh, yeah, yeah, yeah. Just rely on that. So it should all be G. But do come down. We love seeing the punters down in Dunedin. Yeah. I've got a real place in my heart for Dunedin. It's a beautiful city. It is. It's great. Can't wait. A couple of weeks away. April 22nd. It's a Wednesday. Chuck it in your calendars. In the meantime, here's Metallica. The Hauraki Big Show. Weekdays from four on Radio Hauraki. Yes, indeed. Ben Harper there on the Radio Hauraki Big Show this Tuesday afternoon.

28:59Keyzie:The time is 5.26. And something very peculiar happened to me over the weekend, and I wanted to put it out there and see if you are affected by the same affliction that I seem to have. And it's to do with bidding. Oh, like buying something? Yeah, buying. So was the peculiar thing you parting with a dollar? Well, no, because I'm a generous person. I part with dollars all the time. Oh, right, yeah, okay. I've got my dog squad money and all that jazz. True, yeah. And when I talk about bidding, you know, you trade me. your auctions well you know like housing you know you go to an auction there and you bid cars you name it fellas it could be anything but something happened to me over the weekend and I went oh hang on what's this about my wife and I went to the markets on Sunday right and at the markets we saw this beautiful what they call a banker's light and it's these beautiful old lights sort of lampshades with sort of gold a gold stand and green glass straight across.

30:01Keyzie:They're really elegant looking. And, of course, they used to have them in banks. Yeah. And my wife pointed it out to me and she said, oh, there's one of your lights that you love. And I went, oh, oh, oh. And it was$180. And I went, oh, it's a bit rich for Hoody J. For a light that you love. Yes, that's a bit rich. You know what I mean? $180, I don't think I'll do that. Then funnily enough, my wife was on her phone yesterday and she was looking through the web auction. Oh, yeah, webs. Webs, yeah, yeah. And just going through that because she loves to do that sort of thing. I was on there yesterday myself.

30:35Oh, okay, how funny. On the webs.

30:38Keyzie:And she was on the auction there and she said, oh, oh, oh. Did she say that? Yeah, she said it. And she said, oh, here's one of your lights again that we saw yesterday. And I went, oh, is it a banker's light? And she said, yes. Do you think that popped up randomly or did she type in banker's light into the webs? No, no, because she just flicks through it. You scroll through it. She just scrolls through. And she said, oh, it's one of your – and I said, how much was it? And she said$100. And I went, oh, that's pretty bloody good. Let's bid on it then. Let's bid on it. Here we go. What did you bid?

31:07Keyzie:$100. That's smart. Well, you know, that was where – Was it in the reserve? That's where it was sitting at at that point. Of course, it was an auction, and so people kept bidding on it. Yeah. Then it was$110,$120, and Hody was like,$130. Nice. Did you yell it out? No, yeah, and then my wife would put it in her phone, 130 from ODJ. Then 140, 150, 160, 170, 180, and it just kept going. And I got into a kind of psychosis, a bidding psychosis, and I went, okay, 200. And now it was 200, and it kept going and going and going, and I realised that actually it became less about the object that I was bidding for, and it became about actually winning the auction.

31:56Yeah.

31:56Keyzie:You know what I mean? 100%. You wanted to show dominance over that person you were bidding against. Totally, because it was the same person that was bidding against me, and I was like, I'll show this SOB. Yeah, right. It's interesting, though, right, because you passed up the first light. Yeah, 180. Which is in a condition where there is no competition. There's no competition. You just buy it. I probably could have haggled him, you know, got him down a bit, bartered a bit, you know what I mean? Yeah, 100%. Get him down to like 175. 175? Well, 175, yeah, exactly. But it's like the chips, isn't it?

32:25Because at that point you're not interested in them because nobody else wants them. It's like when you steal the chips. Yes. You love them. But when they're free, you've got no interest whatsoever.

32:33Keyzie:Well, I wondered if anyone else gets into that kind of thing where it becomes less about what you're buying and more about actually winning. Yeah, 100%. I mean, I've been there. I'm also the kind of person that just clicks buy now. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Just to be done with it. Yeah, sure, sure. Like my wife last week, we were trying to buy a single bed. Put the little one Oh is she moving No it's nothing to do with any of that stuff you're about to say We just needed a single bed Running out of room in your bed Because I'm starting to spill over the sides of my bed Yeah yeah And so I thought if I get a single bed and put that next to it You could just Sort of half my body could be on that Put your rolls onto it yeah Yeah yeah yeah So anyway The Hauraki Big Show with Jace, Mike and Kesey Tune in weekdays at 4 on Radio Horaki.

33:19Welcome back.

33:20Keyzie:The Big Show. Magic Round 3. Let's put another mad bastard on the bench. I tell you what, fellas, it's creeping up on us, the old Magic Round. When is it again, Keezy? Magic Round? Yeah. It's happening in May there, Jase. Around about the 13th, 14th and 15th, I believe. Great stuff. What? Like literally a month away. Well, I don't know about literally. It's only the 7th now. Five weeks. I don't know if it's exactly. Literally. Figuratively, it's a month away, Jase. Metaphorically. What is Magic Round? It's basically every NRL team playing over a weekend, Friday, Saturday, Sunday, eight games, 16 teams.

34:02It's all at Suncorp Stadium in Brisbane. Everything's taken care of for you. You get flights, you get accommodation, you get to hang out with the big show, you get to bloody chuck your favourite old retro shirt on and go to the pub. They were thinking about doing free meals as well, but with old keys again over there, they said it would cost too much. Yeah, yeah. Yeah, it's a shame. It's the only reason I was going, to be honest, fellas.

34:23Keyzie:Well, yeah, but they did say to accommodate that, they're going to chuck in a couple of buffet dinners. All you can eat. Anyway, let's get to the boat. No, this new thing is so great. This new thing is so great. It's all thanks to boyschip.co.nz. It's got to the lines, eh, Joe? Yeah, let's do that, man. G'day, Kane. How's life? Life's great, mate. How's yours? Yeah, good, thanks, Cain. Tell me, Cain, what do you do for a crust? Well, I got promoted not long ago. Oh. I used to do handjobs for the homeless. Oh. Who do you do them for now? I do gobbies for gang members. Oh, yeah, good. Good. Good stuff, Cain.

35:05Oh, you might run into Jase down there. Oh, well, you never know. Hey, Cain, do you like your rugby league? Love me rugby league. Yeah, good on you, mate.

35:16Keyzie:Who would you take with you, Cain, if you were lucky enough to win? Well, I have to take the husband. You don't have to do it, Cain. Well, we've been married for 41 years yesterday, so I kind of have to. Oh, it sounds like you need a break. Why are you trying to take one of those gang members with you? Oh, nothing. They haven't got passports. Yeah, true. All right, Cain, well, you're in the draw, mate, so you hold the line all right? Cheers. Good on you, Cain. G'day, Paul, you mad bastard. How's life? G'day, you backboneers. Not bad at all. Yeah, good on you, mate. This guy gets it. You can tell.

35:51Keyzie:Hey, Paul, what do you do for a crust, mate? I'm a spotter. A what? A spotter. A spotter, James. Can I get the fat out of your ears, mate? I watch stickers all day. Oh, right. What does he do? Anyone? I watch stickers and trucks. Oh, yeah. Got you. You're a backbone. Good on you, man. Tell me, Paul, who's your favourite warrior? Oh, jeez. It would have to be 20-slap. Luke Nick, Carl. Yeah, right. Really? Okay. Well, Paul, I'll tell you what, mate. You're in the draw, right? You hold the line. Yeah. Good on you, mate. Good on you, mate. What the heck, mate? Hamish, you there, man? Yeah, I am. G'day, mate.

36:33Hey, what do you do for a cross, man? No, I'm at the council. No.

36:39Keyzie:We were just talking about the council, actually. Paul. Shocking bastard. Off air. Oh, Hamish, sorry. Off air. I can't tell you what we were saying, though. You would have been saying, Ed, wouldn't we? Yeah, yeah. There's something on that vein there, Hamish. Who would you take with you if you won? I'd be a toss-up between the partner and the girlfriend. I'm not sure. Now he's talking. Now you're talking. Take them both, you mad dog. Good on you, Hamish. You're in the draw, mate. Good luck. Cheers, thank you. Love you. Thanks, mate. Backbone. I'll tell you what, if any of those three get in and win, we're in for a good trip there, fellas.

37:20Mad bastard. It's one and all. If you want to guarantee your spot on the trip, boystrip.co.nz. Sports made easy. Sports travel made easy. It's their 20th birthday, by the way, fellas. Wow. 20 years of boys' trip. You were asking if they had any cake there, Hoity J?

37:35Keyzie:When we do the trip. Because it's their 20th birthday. Oh, right. Yeah, yeah. Well, hopefully some saucy rolls or something like that. Some little, what are those little pink saucies? Cheerios. Cheerios. Little boys, they call them. Yeah, well, Muggie would know. He's always chowing down on them. Here's Franz Ferdinand. The Hauraki Big Show. Weekdays from four on Radio Hauraki. Yes, indeed. New order there on the Radio Hauraki Big Show this Tuesday afternoon. The time is nine minutes to six o 'clock. Hey, fellas. Poppy Day is on Friday the 17th of April. and Anzac Day is on Saturday, April 25th.

38:11Right now, they're up to 140 ,000 veterans of military service who rely upon the RSA and public donations to get by. So if you would like to make a donation right now of$3, text POPPY to 8595. Boom,$3 donation. That's not the text number I said. I said POPPY to 8595. Yeah, cool. Thanks for that, Jase. Hey, guys, we've got some breaking Keezy news. What's on the news with me, Keezy? Fellas, as we broadcast, Artemis 2 is currently flying through the air, high above, high above, doing the first crewed moon mission. Crewed? Crewed. What's so crude about it? No, not C-R-U-D-E, Mogey, I see.

39:05Keyzie:are crewed, like there's crew on board. Oh, like a chimpanzee and a dog and rats. No, I think it's humans. I'm not sure. I think it's humans. Right, okay. But yeah, the first time in over 50 years that humans have basically flown up to the old moon there, had a bit of a geese, and that's what they're doing. They're having a geese. They're sort of mapping things out. It's part of the second stage of NASA's plan to eventually build a moon base. A moon base. When you say eventually, I mean, what kind of time frame are we looking at here, Kesey? I believe it's going to be from 2030. It's like we're currently at the start of about a seven or eight year second phase.

39:46Keyzie:Okay. And then in the 2030s, I'm guessing, I can't remember the exact date, Jase, but basically it's going to shift to phase three, which will involve them, I think it's flying up about 30 times and dropping stuff off. Wow, so that first phase was 50 years. Yeah. And then the second phase will be what? Seven. The second phase is about seven. Cool. And then there's a third phase. So in other words, it's ages away that this is even. I mean, at the moment it's just a pipe dream. I mean, last time you did something like this, you were talking about news that was a year old. Now you're talking about something that may happen in about 50 years.

40:22Keyzie:I'm sorry. The news wasn't they're building a moon base. The news was the first crewed moon mission is currently happening. What's so crude about it? First, Mogey.

40:34The crew, while they were up there, conducted 67 hours of observation. So literally just taking photos. Looking out the window. Landscaping. Looking out the window, Mogey. Correct. Figuring out where they're going to build the moon base. Documenting stuff and taking photos. There's no way a monkey and a dog can work out where you're going to put the moon base. Exactly.

40:49Keyzie:What, have they got pencils in their paws or what's going on? Look, I don't know. Are they drawing sketches? I don't know. I mean, hell. That's ridiculous, Kesey. I mean, six. oh, I'm going to look at the moon for six or seven hours and come back and say, we should build a base here in 50 years. And they're like, what? I don't speak dog. Exactly. I saw a monkey riding a dog once. Same. Did it have a little hat on? Yeah, a cowboy hat. Now that is news. That is not news. But yeah. Tommy, do you geek out on the whole space travel thing, Keezy? Not really, no. Are you a nerd for the space? Because you're like, I mean, the way you're going, I'm going to need as much space as we can get.

41:39Don't turn this into that shit.

41:45Well, I just thought that you'd be interested in this, Jase. Because...

41:51Keyzie:Hey, when I started...

41:56Okay, are we sure about this current pathway going down with the... Oh, that's pretty good. With the overweight jokes? Just because I don't want people's feelings to get hurt.

42:06Keyzie:Yeah, no, no, that's cool. Hey, incidentally, coming up after... I guess if you're okay with it, that's good. Coming up after six. You're the main one, obviously. It's what's on the dinner with me, dinner and KC or something. What is it? I don't know, man, but you're salivating at the thought of it. The Hauraki Big Show with Jace, Mike and Keezy. Tune in weekdays at four on Radio Hauraki. Yeah, welcome back you massive backbones. Hope your Tuesday's going off. You're listening to The Big Show brought to you by Toledo's. Rehydrate the right way with Toledo's real ingredients and natural colours.

42:46Toledo's! Hey fellas, a quick apology. I forgot to say that, yes, coming up soon is What's on the Dinner with Me Tea with Me Keezy. So if you want$50 cash, thanks to Toledo's, text us what you're having for dinner right now, 3483. And where you are and what your name is.

43:06Keyzie:Yes. We're in a bit of a conundrum, actually, because I bought stuff for chicken burgers tonight, but then my daughter's gone out. So I said to my wife, should we just go out for dinner then? You know what I mean? I love it. Just chuck the stuff for the burgers. Just chuck it in the bin. Yeah, well, I already, yeah, pretty much. That's what you'd do. You'd chuck it in the bin. Yeah, totally, man. There's a spirit. You wouldn't freeze it or put it in the fridge? But it's one of those things. Or just eat it as well? It's like when you're living, you know, when you play yourself. When my wife was doing the play all the time, it's like, I can't be arse cooking for myself.

43:38Keyzie:There's no joy in that, fellas. There's something also, because my favourite pastime. Oh, here we go. Actually, I'm setting myself up for a dunk. My favourite pastime is going out for dinner. It's not a pastime. It's a full-time job with you, I reckon. There it is. Damn it. Oh, which reminds me. No, no, that's not where that yarn finishes. No, I know, but I was just going to say I was excited for you because it's Dumpling Wednesday for you tomorrow. Thank you. Excited or jealous, Jase? A little bit of both, actually, Keezy. Yeah, big bit, knowing you. So what I was saying was the reason why going out for dinner is like my favourite pastime is because you don't know what you're going to have, whereas you know right now that you go, oh, chicken burgers at home, I've got to make them.

44:22Whereas if you say, oh, we're going to go out somewhere, the world is your oyster. You love oysters.

44:29Keyzie:I genuinely do. What was your record, like 50? Funnily enough, I watched a woman, I follow her actually on Instagram. That's not funny about that, you're always watching a woman. Who's obsessed with oysters, and she just goes around the world eating different oysters. Yesterday she was in some places, she ate 80 of the bastards. Wow. So you're just watching this woman shucking around the world. 18. 18. What did I say? 18. 18, yeah. My God. Hey, send those texts through on 3483 in the meantime. Here's the strokes. The Hauraki Big Show. Weekdays from four on Radio Hauraki. Yes, indeed. Powderfinger there on the Radio Hauraki Big Show this Tuesday evening.

45:10Keyzie:Gosh, looking pretty miserable out there, fellas. She's going to be a chilly walk home for old Hooraki Jay, but never mind because right now it's time for... Oh, yeah, hey, guys. Text here from Steve. What's on the tea with me, dinner with me, Keezy? That's good. No, it's not. It's what's for tea, New Zealand, with me, Keezy. Well, it was once upon a time. Yeah. Never catch on. Well, it did catch on. You guys just insisted on changing it. 3483, text through what you were having for dinner, and you could win 50 bucks cash. Include your name and where you are, too. It just puts a little personal touch on it, fellas.

45:46Keyzie:It does, yeah, for sure. I like to visualise the people cooking. Do you? And then visualising you stuffing it down your gob. Totally, man. Yeah, good stuff. G'day there, fellas. What is that? Dino here. Kane. Dino Kane. Oh, that's a goodie. That's an oldie. Yeah, he's a snooker player. Martin. He was a New Zealand snooker player. Very good. He did very well for a while there and then sort of fell off again. Well done. No, it was Dean Martin. Oh, Dean Martin. He was a massive alcoholic and womaniser. Funnily enough, I actually read something just recently about him and that was a bit of a bluff, the whole drinking thing, that he was a massive out...

46:29Keyzie:He didn't actually drink that much. Now, when you say you read it, you mean you saw an Instagram video where he was saying that? Because I saw the same one. Or did you read it on the back of a pack of biscuits? I don't recall where I got my information from, but I do recall reading that. Yeah. But it was all a bit of a facade. Yeah, I bet it was. I can relate to that.

46:52G'day there, fellas. Dino here. Tonight we're having shepherd's pie. Love a shepherd's pie. We've been thinking about a shepherd's pie. We were going to cook a big amount of lamb over the weekend because we're having people over for an Easter lunch, which got skittled by the COVID going through the house. And I was thinking of skittles. Oh, yeah, that makes sense. But, yeah, shepherd's pie was one of the things because it's got a couple of kilos. Because shepherd's pie is where it's got lamb in it. With a bit of mash on top.

47:20Keyzie:Yeah. Whereas what's the other one? Cottage. Cottage pie was your beef mince, your pork mince. Can you make cottage pie with a pork mince? Generally with a beef, but you could do it with a pork. No one would be any of the wiser. No. It would be our little secret. And actually, if you were to do a cottage pie, you should use pork mince, Keezy, because it's a leaner meat. What, pig? Pig is so lean, isn't it? G'day there, fellas. Glenn here. Phillips. Gary Glenn Ross. Yeah, it's Glenn Phillips. Oh. G'day there, fellas. Snapper potato and egg salad and coleslaw. Snapper potato? Well, sorry, snapper the fish.

48:05Oh. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Potatoes. Yeah. Egg salad, coleslaw. Fond of an egg salad, Moggy? The whole thing doesn't sound right to me. You got an egg salad with a coleslaw. Yeah, that's weird. And potatoes, was it? Yeah, and fish. Nah. You don't like that? Nah. There's too many. I think you need to get rid of either the egg salad or the coleslaw.

48:24Keyzie:I would get rid of the coleslaw personally and just run with the egg salad, your taties, and your fish. Okay, cool. So you get rid of the coleslaw? Yes. Okay, just writing this down. Okay, cool. Why? I don't know. G'day there, fellas. Heidi here. Heidi Ho. Heidi Hum. It's Heidi Ho, neighborino. What the hell is Heidi Hum? That's not a thing, is it? Chicken pasta cheers. Oh, God. If Heidi Ho is cooking that with a tomato base, I'll be filthy. Oh, yes. Now, you prefer a... Creamy. Yeah. Yeah, you prefer it creamy. More calories, the better. G'day there, fellas. Now be careful with this one G'day guys, Niamh here, I'm 11 Niamh Campbell Niamh do you mind I don't know Nah it's just Niamh I'm 11 and I'm making an omelette for dinner Yuck Come on Niamh, make an effort The Hauraki Big Show with Jace, Mike and Keezy Tune in weekdays at 4 on Radio Hauraki Yes indeed Sheehard there on the Radio Hauraki Big Show this Tuesday evening The time being 6.23.

49:41Fellas, testicular cancer is the number one cancer among young fellers here in New Zealand. It is highly treatable. However, if you catch it early, but guys simply aren't checking. So to encourage this, we want you to check right now. Is there anything weird going on down in your private area right there? Any lumps, et cetera? Just have a search. Yeah, nothing weird going on.

50:01Keyzie:Something pretty hot, though. Yeah, totally. But basically what we're doing. Sorry, you've thrown me massively there because he actually physically was checking in his pants. Yeah, he was. And it threw me off. LumpLottery.co.nz, check yourself. Now he's biting his nails. That is gross. LumpLottery.co.nz. I was sniffing them, Keezy. LumpLottery.co.nz, head there. You can win yourself a Ute as well. Just the most important part, though, is check. Fellas, I think I saw the love that my wife has for me physically leave her body over the weekend. I got my hands on some of that. Tell me how you feel about that dip, that old school kiwi onion dip with the reduced cream there and the old onion powdery stuff.

50:46Now you're talking. Onion soup there, yeah.

50:48Keyzie:Now you're talking. Phenomenal. I love it. Yeah, well, I hadn't had it for a very, very long time, and I got it and I put it in the fridge. Yeah, nice. I put it in the fridge there, the tin, because normally what you do is you're like, oh, I want some dip. And the way I've always done it, Keezy, and you'll be able to relate to this, is it's normally sitting in the cupboard. then you get it out of the cupboard, you make it, then you've got to put it in the fridge. Yes. Then you've got to wait ages. But the reason why you made it is because you want it now. You want it now. Well, usually, I don't know how you operate.

51:17You obviously operate differently, but we will usually make it in anticipation of guests coming later. Guests. Guests. So we'll make it at, I don't know, 2 in the afternoon and then put a bowl in the fridge with Glad Wrap over it and then get it out at about 6. You having some kids over or something for some kiwi dip, are you? Okay, note to self, don't. Make kiwi dip when you fellas come over for dinner. So anyway, I went to make it, and my wife had taken it out of the fridge. Oh, no. I was fuming. I said, what are you doing? What are you doing? And she said, I don't know. I'm sorry. Anyway, so I put it back in the fridge, made it.

51:50And I've got to say, I didn't really like it. Oh, my God. So anyway, I'm plowing through it there. I'm hoeing through it. And what I was doing there was I was lying on the couch, and I've got a bag of chips beside me, and I've got the stainless steel bowl of dip just resting on my stomach. On your poku. So it was up pretty high. It was probably blocking your view of the TV at that point. Yeah. I was lying parallel to the table. Oh, yeah, yeah, yeah. Sure, better go and get that down. And my wife was thinking, she said, ooh, I'd like some chips as well. Anyway, by the time she came in a couple of minutes later, I was literally on my last handful.

52:33of chips. And it was crumbs, man. Yes. It was crumbs. And she stuck her hand in and she did. Do you want to know how few chips were there? She put her hand in and then she just left them there. And she looked at me and said, God, you're a pig.

52:52Yeah. She was absolutely disgusted with me. Now, that's the kind of thing that you guys say to me here. You know, we're just joshing. We're just having a laugh. We call you two-fist mogie. Yeah. But it looks like, I know we have a joke here, but it seemed like she was serious. And I think it might have been reinforced by the fact that we're having a bit of chocolate egg later on that night. And then when I went to say goodnight to her because she was sleeping in the separate room because of the COVID we've got going through our house, she said, you've got egg all over, you've got chocolate all over your shirt, and I had melted chocolate.

53:23Oh, my God. Because you are a shocker for just getting a wee bit of food on the old shirt there and just having a wee bit on the lip as well. Yeah. So I don't know. I don't know if she's that into me anymore. I don't know. I think being called a pig isn't the end of, you know, it's not that bad, eh, Jase? I mean, you must get called that often.

53:42Keyzie:Well, I just, it made me, it reminded me of the story of when Kesey came home that night from the concert and he was steamed and he hoed into the leftovers in the fridge. Oh, yeah. And then his wife came in in the morning. He was lying on his couch nude with, like, pork mints in his belly button. What the hell is this down? I mean, yeah, yeah, that's right. It reminds me of that as well, totally. Here's Weezil. The Hauraki Big Show. Weekdays from four on Radio Hauraki.

54:19Keyzie:Well, there you go, you mad bastards. That's the big show done and dusted this Tuesday evening. What's the podcast outro clip today, Keezy? Thanks for asking, Jay. this particular clip is about hot cross buns and it comes out at 7.30 tonight so search Haraki Big Show wherever you get your potties from yeah they have a lot of rules woman I know she's like stop calling them Easter buns they're hot cross buns my dad used to call them Easter buns they're buns that you get at Easter that's right you're 100 % right I'm very fond of Easter buns yeah if I want to eat an Easter bun in the fart sack I should be allowed to anyway what are we talking about the fart sack being the old beard by the way it's another nickname my wife doesn't like for stuff.

55:00Keyzie:I don't pass wind in the bed. I find that hard to believe. Yeah, it's a lie. Until my wife leaves the bed and then I rip arse. And it's bloody, it's all go. I was going to say, the amount of food you eat, there's no way you're not ripping an ass. Oh, I'm gaseous. Hey. Who's gaseous? Like a planet. Now listen, Moggy, what's the plan tonight, mate? That's a great question, man. Well, we're on the food bag at the moment because the missus has finished work, so she's there. Last night we had an absolutely delicious mashed potato and some kind of a stew. I can't remember what it's called, but, jeez, it was bloody good.

55:38What are they called, though? What's a different kind of stew? Stroganoff. Strogg. Beef strogg. Well done, Keith. Thanks, brother. He knows it's stews. This. I don't know how I feel about this. You can't say anything.

55:58Keyzie:Speaking of which, Casey, what are you having for tea? The best question is, what's he not having for tea? Yeah, am I right? So for tea, we're having steak. Nice. And then for supper, we are having... Supper? I'm joking. No, we're having steak. And we're also doing a food baggy boxy thing. You're not big on a steak. No, I'm not. No. But the way that we do our food baggy, boxy thing is basically I get to pick a meal. That's no negotiation. And my wife does as well. Right. And then the rest are in the middle. That's quite good. You know what I've got to start doing? I've got to start having some meat-free days.

56:34Yes. I'm eating meat seven days a week, twice a day, three times a day. It's shocking.

56:40Keyzie:Yeah. Yeah. Interesting. Because I am doing that at the moment, not eating as much meat. Really? You can't tell. Well, that's just because that's how it's panned out. Yeah, right. Right. What sort of thing you've been eating? Well, like last night we had spinach and feta pie. Oh, yeah, we got one of those. That was very nice. Yeah. With a green salad. Oh, yeah? Through the salad in the bin? Hey, now listen. What? God, it's been a... I've found him rubbing jean through it in the middle of the night. It's been a pleasure bringing you the show today. I hope you enjoyed it. Until tomorrow, though.

57:12Keyzie:Oh, by the way, check out the podcast. Check out the Instagram. Until tomorrow. Goodbye. Bye. See you then.