FULL SHOW: What's The Challenge?

11:13Keyzie:Someone's saying they'll do it for a box of piss. Yeah, I mean, that's a pretty good deal. I just don't know how much of an expert they are. You know, the alternative is here, fellas, is that we can find some backbone dentist out there that will do the job and be happy for me to just do a couple of stories on my Instagram, maybe pop in and get a selfie or something along those lines. You know what I mean? This is feeling like it's getting perilously close to inappropriate kind of chat. I know what you mean. I know what you mean. It's just an idea. I'm just floating it. For example, Joe, say that there was a dentist out there that would do the work.

11:47Sure. And they were to approach me, let's say, on my Instagram. Sure. Or through the Horegi Big Show Instagram. And they were to offer that up. Certainly be something you'd have to consider, surely. I don't know about that.

12:00Keyzie:I mean, I wouldn't feel comfortable doing something like that, you know what I mean, someone contacting the show and, you know, offering me some sort of deal. I mean, that feels to me, I mean, we were talking about the BSA yesterday, weren't we? We were. Broadcasting stand. It feels like we're selling out a little bit there, Moggy. But, you know, if there is anyone out there on 3483 who is a dentist. So what, now you're doing it for Mogey? Who thinks he could, or she, do a good deal for old Mogus.

12:28Mike Minogue:Isn't it interesting how you said he? He or she. Yeah, but it was a real afterthought, you know. Honestly, a lot of people here are offering to pull it out for you, Mogey. One person has actually had the great suggestion of pull out the tooth, auction it off. Ooh. Who wouldn't love Mogi's old rotten tooth? And then replace it with a gold tooth, and then the gold price is going up. Yeah. You can make money. Turn your sore tooth into a money-making opportunity. Yeah, it's not bad, is it? Well, there's hundreds of texts that have come in here. People are spending thousands and thousands of dollars.

13:05It's a rort.

13:06Keyzie:It's one of those – it's like – because you don't have a choice really, do you, in many respects. You're like a captive sort of audience. It's the same with like vets, things like that, where you go, okay, well, my choice is I pay eight grand or my animal dies. Well, that's right. And the suggestions here on 3483, why don't you go and get quotes from somewhere else? Well, because it costs you 600 bucks to walk through the door. Yes. So you go and get more quotes. It's like, well, what if this is the cheapest and then it's cost me another 1 ,200 bucks?

13:33Mike Minogue:Well, there's a bit of a nice, this is from Kev, by the way. Oh, Kev, yeah. Kev down near the Hawke's Bay there. Apparently$2 ,000 for a root canal in Napier. Really? So, you know,$100 gas down there. Oh, you don't have a car at the moment, do you? Oh, yeah, no, they're both. And my pushbox got a flat tire. Yeah. Shit. I'll tell you what, man. Life's going great for you at the moment. The Hauraki Big Show with Jace, Mike, and Keezy. Tune in weekdays at four on Radio Hauraki.

14:00Keyzie:Welcome back. The Big Show. Magic round three beat. Let's put another mad bastard on the bench. Boy, oh boy, it's getting closer and closer, fellas. Just really can't wait. Actually, on that front, big weekend of League 2, isn't it? Win the wah's tomorrow, isn't it, against the Titans?

14:22Mike Minogue:Tomorrow against the Titans, Jase. 5 p.m. 5 p.m. Match is a home game. What a ripper.

14:28Keyzie:Siri, can you just remind me of the Warriors game at 5 tomorrow? Fellas, it's four weeks to the day. Yeah, exactly. Four weeks to the day. How good. I'm fizzed up, boys. Should we go to the phone lines?

14:41Mike Minogue:I've actually not fizzed up yet. I don't know if I'm ready for it yet. Yeah, sure. I'm going to have to get fizzed up ASAP, though. Let's go to the lines.

14:46Keyzie:G'day, Brett. How's life? Oh, g'day, fellas. G'day, mate. What's going on? How are you going? Brett, how's your Friday going? Oh, I'm pretty good.

14:56Mike Minogue:It's a Friday afternoon. I've knocked off. And yeah, ready to start the weekend. Would you consider yourself a mad dog, Brett? I would, yes. Yeah.

15:07Keyzie:Yeah, nice thoughts. Tell me, Brett, what's the plan for your Friday night and for the weekend?

15:13Mike Minogue:Oh, you know, I've got a few friends coming around tonight, a couple of wine and cheese. Oh, yeah, a bit of wine and cheese. And obviously the Wilds play tomorrow at 5, 5.30, so I'll be watching that. Yeah, good on you, mate.

15:26Keyzie:You see, this is what we need, fellas. We need a bit of wine and cheese in our Brizzy tour. We need a bit of class. Really? You know what I'm saying? rather than your foul just piling back the beersies responsibly, of course.

15:39Mike Minogue:Just so you know, Jase, you're currently covered in chip crumbs. No, come on, man. You've got so many on you. You're talking about being classy. Britt, all right, you're in the draw, mate. You hold the line, okay? Amazing. Thanks, guys. Good on you, Britt. G'day, Brooke.

15:53Keyzie:How's life?

15:54Mike Minogue:G'day, Jase. How are you?

15:55Keyzie:Yeah, good, thanks, mate. How's your Friday going?

15:59Mike Minogue:Oh, fantastic, mate. Stunning afternoon up here in Whangaree.

16:03Keyzie:Yeah, beautiful. Beautiful. What do you do for a crust, mate? Oh, yeah.

16:05Mike Minogue:Oh, I'm a dirty old plumber, mate. How about yourself? Oh, yeah, good. Oh, yeah.

16:09Keyzie:I'm just a top radio DJ, mate. Oh, yeah.

16:13Mike Minogue:Pick that one off.

16:14Keyzie:Hey, Brooke, who would you take with you if you were lucky enough to win?

16:19Mike Minogue:I'd have to take my missus, mate. She's more into it than me, so. Oh, wow. Okay, yeah, that's good. I'm liking that. Handy P, what's her name, Brooke? Melissa. Melissa, okay. And what's her Instagram handle? That's a good question. Just joking, Brooke. You're in the draw, mate. Legend. Good on you, mate.

16:36Keyzie:G'day, Ewan, you mad bastard. How's life?

16:39Mike Minogue:Yeah, not bad. Not bad. How are you guys?

16:41Keyzie:Yeah, good, mate. Really great. I feel like you're going to go hard this weekend, Ewan. Am I right?

16:48Mike Minogue:We'll see. We'll see. No, see, I got the vibe that he was actually going to have a chill weekend. Am I right, Ewan? I don't know yet. Not yet. I got the vibe that you're an absolutely shocking bastard, Ewan. Am I on to something? I think I'm a big piece of shit. Yeah, yeah, yeah. That's what I thought.

17:04Keyzie:Nice. What do you do for a crust, by the way?

17:06Mike Minogue:I'm a sparky. Good on you, mate. Good on you, mate.

17:09Keyzie:You're in the drawer as well. You and Sound of Line and I'll Puck Sam will sort you out in Studio B. Cheers, fellas. Got to say, we don't get many dentists calling in, do we? No. Wonder why. Builders, your plumbers, your sparkies. Log breakers. Log breakers. Salt of the earth, man.

17:26Mike Minogue:That's what Hoducky's all about. We get a few teachers. Yeah. You know? A couple of cops, actually. There's been a few cops ring up. Yes. Always got their hand out. Are we just listing off every single job of every person that's come on the line there? So those are the common ones, aren't they?

17:40Keyzie:We've had a few project managers as well. That's true. Project managers, yeah. Insurance.

17:45Mike Minogue:We've had some salesmen. Oh, yeah, we've had salesmen, yeah. Yeah, yeah, yeah. A bunch of doll bludgers, actually. Oh, we've had some doll bludgers. But most of them frame it as they're between jobs. Yes. But we know.

17:56Keyzie:They're doll bludgers. I don't know about how you were back in the day, Mogi, when you're on the doll like old Hoody Jay. Mate, I owned it. I owned it, man.

18:04Mike Minogue:You owned the doll. Yeah, totally. The blow-up doll. Hey, what is Magic Round? It's three amazing nights in Brizzy, eight games of rugby league. We're going to be there. It's going to be bloody great. If you want to guarantee your spot, head to boystrip.co.nz and book a package. Otherwise, keep on listening for another chance to get yourself in the draw. Beautiful. Here's the pick season. The Hauraki Big Show. weekdays from four on Radio Hauraki. Yes, indeed, Alan.

18:30Keyzie:Almost. LMNOP. LMNOP. You forced it. It still sounds weird. LMNOP. It's been a while, man. LMNOP. LMNOP. But right now it's time for What's on the Telly with Mike Minogue.

18:47Keyzie:Yeah. Yes. Oh, no, it's back. Last night I watched Actually to be completely honest I watched the rest of Sliding Doors Which I hadn't seen all of Yeah, does not disappoint If you're looking for something out there That's terrible, harmless Fun, that you can openly Mock for 90 minutes Get on it, Sliding Doors, it's on Neon Unfortunately I didn't watch Anything last night purely because I had my father-in-law over for dinner. We had a dinner party. What did you serve? Meatballs. Oh! That was so good, man. They're even better than the ones you guys had. And we did a replica salad of the salad we had from this cafe in Ponsonby with you.

19:37Keyzie:What's that cheese that you fry?

19:39Mike Minogue:Oh, brie.

19:41Keyzie:No.

19:41Mike Minogue:Camembert. No.

19:43Keyzie:Not head? No. Ah, gouda. No, not gouda. Fromage. No, never mind. It's called. Was it at Cheersdale? It had like roasted chickpeas and courgette. Tasty. It's really bugging me now. What is that cheese called that you fry? Come on. It's called.

20:03Mike Minogue:It's called. Hello, me. Hello, me.

20:06Keyzie:Hello, you. And I got some beautiful lamb-ny. It's called halloumi. Halloumi, thank you. And I also got lamb-ny from the Lemony's grocer. Oh, the shop. Lebanese grocer. Supermarket. As a sort of bed to put the salad on. It was amazing.

20:28Mike Minogue:Did you like... I didn't cook any of it, by the way. Just as your father-in-law was about to have seconds, did you clear up his plate? Push him out the door. Push him out the door and hug his wife and send him packing?

20:37Keyzie:No, because I like him.

20:39Mike Minogue:Oh. Nice. No, you don't. You were saying up there he's a bit of a goose, man. Last night I watched Now last night we were both very tired My wife and I we'd done a lot of stuff A lot of admin And we were like look we just need to watch something chill Yeah You say that every night Location, location, location Grand design Close, close Or country calendar Those are your three go-tos See we actually We did the spin-off of location, location, location Which is Love It All List It UK Same presenters Right And basically One tries to convince them to sell their house While the other takes some money And renovates their house And tries to convince them to keep it This couple like she designed this whole plan to make the house better and then the wife was like actually we changed a whole lot of stuff she asked for they needed more storage and all this stuff but then the wife was like actually stuff that I just want a brand new kitchen so it was stupid and my wife was effing and jeffing and she's like what are they doing she's not happy I love all those and if she's not happy Keezy's not happy

21:37Keyzie:and I tell you what I will say about those two shows is the sexual chemistry between the hosts what between Phil and Kirsty Yeah, Phil and Kirsty. They are excellent. God, they're great. I've got a funny story about him, but I can't say it on air. Really? Yeah, nothing dodgy or anything like that. It's just someone, funnily enough, who I had dinner with last night, who actually met him. Yeah, several times. Several times. Right. Yeah, but I can't say it on air. Good things, man.

22:05Mike Minogue:So you're saying you've got a secret about him, but you're not going to share it with anyone even though you're on the radio. It's not a secret.

22:09Keyzie:It's just what this person thought of that person. So the most interesting thing in this break is something that you can't tell anybody. Yeah, pretty much. Okay, good. I don't know, man.

22:19Mike Minogue:Your stuff about sliding doors is pretty interesting. Oh, now what channel can I watch that on, Keezy? TVNZ Plus. Yes. TVNZ Plus. Kitchen, eh? New kitchen. Yeah, what's that about? Actually, we didn't even know if they loved it or listed it because my wife got sleepy and we had to shut it off. Here's the killers. The Hauraki Big Show with Jace, Mike and Keezy. Tune in weekdays at 4 on Radio Hodaki.

22:43Keyzie:The Killers there on the Radio Hodaki big show this Friday afternoon. The time is 4.57. Of course, being a Friday, after 5 o 'clock, it's going to be the Friday throbber. Yeah. Throbber.

22:56Mike Minogue:That's right, the Friday throbber. Also after 5 o 'clock, another chance to get yourself in the draw for Magic Round. Yeah, man. Exactly four weeks until we fly to Brizzy.

23:04Keyzie:And also, fellas, I just want to get your advice on something. I'm meeting some old school chums after the show tonight. I'm a little bit anxious about it, you know, in terms of impressing them and stuff. So I just want to get your sort of thoughts on what I should sort of say about my life and so forth. Certainly. You know, that'll be good. You going to go home and get changed first? No, man, I'm going tight and black like I am. Wow.

23:28Mike Minogue:We'll examine that later. Jase has got a black switcher. I'll just...

23:35Mike Minogue:The Hauraki Big Show with Jase, Mike and Keezy. Tune in weekdays at four on Radio Hauraki.

23:45Keyzie:It's the Hauraki Big Show's Friday Throbber.

23:50Mike Minogue:Touche, touche. Yeah. Yeah, boy. Nice. The Friday Throbber, where we each pick a tune, you vote for it, whichever tune you think's the best. Then gets played out in full. Yeah, man. It's pretty easy, really, eh, fellas? It is.

24:05Keyzie:It's real easy. The idea behind it, of course, is, you know, we want to sort of get you going for your Friday night into the weekend sort of action. Absolutely, man. You know, fellas? Absolutely.

24:15Mike Minogue:We want to get you going for your weekend action. Your weekend action, man. Totally, man. That's why we choose, you know, such great. Soft dogs. Massive soft dogs. Over the weekend, I was watching the first weekend of Coachella. They live stream it on YouTube, which is bloody good. They've got about five different stages. and what I saw was Moby who, you know. Old Moby. Old Moby. Old Moby. And he did a lot. He created his first album just in his bedroom of samples, all completely sampled. But this one was a full live band with singers and string orchestra and all that sort of stuff going on. And it sent chills up my spine.

24:52I put it on for my daughter. This particular song is an absolute ripper. It's sung live. It is natural blues. Don't nobody know my Troubles for God Don't nobody Troubles for God

25:18Mike Minogue:Unbelievable. I saw a lot of clips of that on my old Insta there. Oh, you did? Yeah. Yeah, man. It was, yeah, unreal. I mean, it's fun to watch because Moby can't dance, so that makes you feel good as well. But that dude singing was just out the gate. Old Moby. So he made those tunes by just doing a bit of work on his laptop. That's right. Far out, man. That's good stuff. The similarities. I can go next, Jase, if you want. Sure, man. I chose a bald dude as well.

25:46Keyzie:Oh, Phil. It's awful.

25:59Mike Minogue:That song actually just came on today and I was in the car and I was like, hang about. It's a great tune. It's such a tune.

26:05Keyzie:I think old Phil Collins, he's been pretty crook. He's not well. Yeah, and a lot of the old musos going into the hospital and singing songs. Well, it's not 100 % true. You got fooled by AI on that. Oh, did I? Yeah, that's, yeah. Oh, God. Fake news. Was it fake news? Well, he's sick. It looked real. It was sick, but from memory, it was John Lennon that went in and sang next to his bed, and you came in and said, did you see John Lennon singing to Phil Collins? It's like, well. I think I saw Buddy Holly and the Big Bopper singing as well. It was neither of those people. Didn't Kurt Cobain go in and sing to him for a bit?

26:36Keyzie:No, well, Beethoven didn't sing because he was deaf.

26:40Mike Minogue:You can still sing if you're deaf, man. Are you saying deaf people can't sing, shouldn't be allowed to sing? You're a shocking bastard. Are you saying deaf people shouldn't be allowed to sing?

26:48Keyzie:Well, no, I'm not saying they shouldn't be allowed. I just would have thought that it would be difficult. Oh, God. I'm just digging a bigger hole here.

26:54Mike Minogue:At least your tune's good, man.

27:11It is a tune. Velvet Revolver. Velvet Revolver. You did that one about a month ago. No, no, no.

27:16Mike Minogue:What happened was it was playing here on Hodaki.

27:19Keyzie:A couple of weeks ago, or three weeks ago.

27:21Mike Minogue:And then I said to Jase, oh, there's your thromber for the Friday. He's like, yeah, maybe, Keezy, maybe. But he waited three weeks. I did.

27:28Keyzie:I did. You decide anyway, New Zealand. Give us a call right now on 0800 Hodaki. In the meantime, here's the White Stripes.

27:36Mike Minogue:The Hodaki Big Show with Jase, Mike, and Keezy. Tune in weekdays at 4 on Radio Hodaki.

27:46Keyzie:It's the Hauraki Big Show's Friday Throbber. Douche, douche. Jase is actually, what's funny about this is because for those that don't know, we do douche, douche, we do it every week. Jase missed it about four weeks in a row. Now he's got it about two or three weeks in a row, and he's literally proud of himself. Totally, man.

28:05Mike Minogue:He's like keeping an eye on us to see if we're doing it.

28:07Keyzie:You see, I slipped and then I, you know, I brought it back again, fellas, from the edge. That wasn't a slip. You plummeted for like weeks. Yeah

28:16Mike Minogue:But I brought it back again Oh it's so good I redeemed myself You sure did Jase The Friday Throbber We each pick a tune You vote for it by You vote for it by calling 0800 Hauraki This is the song that Old Moby chose

28:46Mike Minogue:Old Moby. Old Moby there.

28:50Keyzie:Jase, what are you doing, man?

28:53Mike Minogue:He's singing along. I chose a song from a Cadbury commercial, the guy in a gorilla suit.

28:59Keyzie:The hurt doesn't show, but the pain still grows. Some strangers are you and me.

29:09I'm the weirdo coming in the air tonight.

29:14Mike Minogue:Phil Collins there. And Jace, you actually chose the Throbber for the first time in ages. Bit of Velvet Revolver for you. Slither.

29:33The first single they ever released as a band.

29:36Mike Minogue:Was it? Wow. I remember when that came out, and I heard that for the first time, and I was like, hey, these guys go pretty good. Yeah, well, people must have gone, holy hell.

29:44Keyzie:Let's go to the phone lines. Charles, you mad bastard. How's life?

29:48Mike Minogue:Oh, not bad. How do you do?

29:50Keyzie:Good on you, mate. What are you running with there, Charles?

29:53Mike Minogue:I'll run with you. How do you do? Oh, good on you, Charles. Good on you, mate.

29:57Keyzie:G'day, April. How's life?

29:59Mike Minogue:Kia ora. Hey, I couldn't hear the last one. Sorry, I'm just on the road. You don't need to hear it, man. That was a shitter.

30:07Keyzie:Who are you voting for there, April?

30:08Mike Minogue:What was the last one? I couldn't hear it.

30:10Keyzie:It was Sliver by Velvet Revolver. Ooh, I'm going to have to go with in the air.

30:17Mike Minogue:Yeah, thanks, April.

30:18Keyzie:I knew April was going in that direction. G'day, Jeremy.

30:21Mike Minogue:Because she didn't hear yours.

30:22Keyzie:Jeremy, how are you going, mate?

30:24Mike Minogue:Yeah, good, fellas. How are you? Yeah, good, mate. That's Jeremy Martin.

30:27Keyzie:What are you running with there, Jeremy?

30:29Mike Minogue:Oh, it's a holly jizzer all day long.

30:31Keyzie:It's a big problem you've come up with, mate.

30:33Mike Minogue:I understand you put the least effort in, but... Yes, totally. 100 % thank you very much, Jeremy. Does that mean it gets an asterisk on it? I don't know. Well, the fact that I actually suggested it as his throbber. No!

30:45Keyzie:Yeah, I think so. Don't be inventing asterisks.

30:50Mike Minogue:Hey, give us a text on 3483. What do you think of today's Friday throbber? It's a tune. Do you agree with Paul who texted in three absolute shitters? This is Velvet Revolver Slither. The Hauraki Big Show. Weekdays from four on Radio Hauraki.

31:07Keyzie:He's indeed slither there, Velvet Revolver, as your Friday throbber feels.

31:12Mike Minogue:A lot of text coming in on 3483. Great tune, Hoity. Yeah, well, it is a great tune. Doesn't it feel nice for you to pick a good song and then someone to say, hey, nice work?

31:21Keyzie:Oh, yeah. I mean, I try not to take these things personally, otherwise, you know, you can get into a real funk.

31:28Mike Minogue:Totally. You talk about old Moby over there. Yeah, yeah. Three absolute shitters. Finally, a great choice, Keezy, for Phil Collins. Finally, something decent from Kesey, the Shocking Bastard. To be honest, I was worried Phil Collins wouldn't go down well.

31:41Keyzie:No, it's a good tune. It's one of those tunes that, you know, it's a bit dorky, but people love it. It's one of those tunes where you go, I like that tune. I'll never admit that I like that tune, but I like that tune. And then if you play that one little bit, that's the good bit, and then you sort of have to turn it off. Yes. Because you're like, oh, I thought the whole song was like that, but it's not. It's not, no. Because you try and get that drum bit, you know. You really focus on getting that drum bit. Yeah, totally. Swear we've done a deep dive into why my song wasn't actually that great

32:11Mike Minogue:to begin with. Let's go to the scoreboards for the throwback for 2026. Mogi, currently out in front on six wins. In second place, Keezy on four. In third place, on four with an asterisk, Jase.

32:22Keyzie:No, no, no. What? We're not doing that. I don't make the rules, Jase. You don't just go, oh, let's find another random reason to give an asterisk.

32:34Mike Minogue:You have an asterisk. Okay, I don't know. Are we being fair, Mogey? He's got an asterisk because he... I sort of feel like, to be fair to Hoody Jizz, this would be my feeling, if he had have done it the same day. The day I told him to do it. I feel like that would be an asterisk. Okay. But the fact that it's been three weeks. It's the same day, David. Thank you. I don't know, but yeah, let us know 3483. I'm happy to go with anybody else's opinion on that. Yeah, there's a text here that says, yeah, asterisk, so let's lock it in. Easy. Is Faith No More? The Hauraki Big Show with Jace, Mike and Kesey.

33:10Mike Minogue:Tune in weekdays at four on Radio Hauraki.

33:13Keyzie:Smashing pumpkins there on the Radio Hauraki Big Show this Friday evening. The time is 5.30, fellas. And I'm actually quite excited because tonight after the show, I'm meeting up with some old school chums. Some old school chums. Some buddies. Some buddies from school, actually. Literally guys that I haven't seen in 20 years. Would you say they were chum buddies? No. But I was thinking, you know, it's going to be really interesting because I want to impress them, you know what I mean? Oh, do you want me to come with you? Actually, that's not a bad idea, Mogi. Yeah. So you just bring Mogi. I could bring Mogi and go, he won Best Actor and blah, blah, blah.

33:54Keyzie:Because, you know, my fear is that I'm going to turn up and we'll be chatting and I'll come across as a bit of a loser. Yeah. Like I haven't, because the thing is, fellas, like when I was at school, I was a big deal. Were you? I was like, demand. You know when you have those school journals and they say. A school journal? Most likely to make it.

34:19Mike Minogue:Oh, yeah, yeah, yeah.

34:19Keyzie:You know what I mean? And most promising this and most, and everyone forecast this magnificent future for Hoity J. Most acne. Well, I definitely did while I was at school.

34:32Mike Minogue:Most honker?

34:33Keyzie:I was a hideous beast. And obviously, you know, I haven't lived up to those horizons. And I was wondering if I could get your fellas help. Why don't you? Well, just, you know, because I don't want to lie to them. No. But I also, I want to. How could you impress them? I want to impress them with my life story. You know what I'm saying? I've got an idea. Why don't you, it's a bit weird. Where are you meeting them? Down at a pub, just down at the bottom of town there. You get there a little bit earlier. See if you can sneak in there and use their microwave and take in your famous chicken soup and melt the container and spill it everywhere and just leave it.

35:10Oh, bugger, no, I've run out of the soup.

35:12Keyzie:That was my last little pie. So I should talk about the soup, right? Oh, show them that video, how you had a shocker. I'll say, yeah, I make an amazing chicken soup, Fjols.

35:22Mike Minogue:Well, what you should do is whenever you talk about anything you make, say that it's the best in the world. Yeah. Okay, yeah, good. And if you want to impress them, you know, any time they say anything at all, you immediately one-up it, whether it's good or bad. I've had it better, I've had it worse.

35:36Keyzie:Okay, yeah, good. Good, yes. So you're thinking of taking Moogie along with you? Well, I mean, if you're keen to come, Moogie. Because I could say, hey, this is my really good mate, Moogie, and he's won Best Actor. What year was it? 2019. 2019. It's a while ago now. and I'm also married to a woman who won Best Actress in, I think it was 2009 or something. So, you know, old Hoody J is doing okay.

36:04Mike Minogue:Definitely talk about yourself in the third person like that and call yourself old Hoody J.

36:09Keyzie:Old Hoody J, yeah, okay, nice. Actually, just for references and stuff, how old are these guys? They're the same age as me, Keezy, obviously. They're 39. I think a couple of them are hit their 40s. Wow. So they'll be looking old. Right, okay. And obviously, you know, I'm looking in pretty good shape for my age.

36:25Mike Minogue:That's the thing you've got going for you, Jase, is I don't think you need to talk about anything. I think you just walk in and wow them with how amazing you look for 39.

36:32Keyzie:Yeah, well, this is the thing I was thinking about, is I just go in there and just act cool. Yeah. You know what I mean?

36:40Mike Minogue:Have you got any chewing gum? Oh, you do. You're a Nicorette. Yeah, I've got my Nicorette. You know what you do? You walk in there with your jacket open and, like, a necklace on.

36:48Keyzie:Oh, he didn't bring a jacket. And you go, hey.

36:51Mike Minogue:Oh, with, like, a singlet. Yeah, yeah, yeah.

36:52Keyzie:But your buzies will spill out. With, like, dumpling stains on it and stuff.

36:56Mike Minogue:No, no, no, just with whatever chip dust.

36:59Keyzie:Right, okay. Okay, well, that's good. The fact that you've got a vape, they'll be impressed by that because that's mostly for kids. The thing is, Mogi, I've just run out of vape juice. Mention that. Yeah. Oh, g'day, fellas. So good to see you. Buddy, I've run out of vape juice. Oh, hoity jay.

37:19Mike Minogue:But the impression you're going to make, What are you going to order to drink? Because that's a big one. People judge you based on what you drink.

37:25Keyzie:Right. Well, I see when you're getting all fancy pants, you go the old espresso. Espresso martini. Martini. You could do that. Yeah, something like that maybe just to impress them. What are you going to do? Leave it sitting there? Yeah, well, I won't drink it, yeah, but I'll order it. You can get a traffic light. One of my big concerns also is, because there's going to be about four or five of them there, that they're going to expect me to buy around. I don't do rounds. You know what I mean? Yeah, okay. So how do I get out of that? Well, the trick is to get there and make sure that somebody else, as soon as this talk starts about who's going to buy what, you duck off to the toilet.

38:02Yeah, nice. That means that you're going to be the last in the round. You position yourself at the table. Yeah. You're always drinking the sliver so somebody else does it. And when it comes to your turn, you say goodbye.

38:10Keyzie:Yeah, well, I go, oh, God, sorry. My wife's just texted me. She's had a bit of a nightmare on the haircut front and she needs me home immediately.

38:19Mike Minogue:That's a weird drive-by on your wife.

38:20Keyzie:Didn't she get a new haircut today as well? She was getting a new haircut, yeah. You said it was shocking. Why? It hasn't happened yet.

38:27Mike Minogue:The Hauraki Big Show. Weekdays from four on Radio Hauraki.

38:31Keyzie:Yes, indeed. Chemical Brothers there on the Radio Hauraki Big Show this Friday evening. The time is 5.43, fellas.

38:40Mike Minogue:Fellas, The Breakfast Show here on Radio Hauraki feature two blokes, Matt Mania and Jerry. Jerry? Jeremy? Mania and Jerry. Jerry and Mania. I'm pretty sure that's it. They're on the Hodaki Breakfast Show every morning, 6am till 10. And they want to do another challenge against the big show. We've done two challenges already. We played golf and lost. It was my fault. We then did a relay and lost and it was my fault. So we've had plenty of suggestions coming through on 3483. Apparently, they also had plenty of suggestions this morning on their show. We are yet to narrow down exactly what we're going to be doing, but this is where they've landed.

39:18Mike Minogue:I suggest for the Big Show Challenge either a parallel parking challenge, which would be good because I know at least as of a couple of years ago, Jase was still on his restricted, or an IKEA flat pack race. Someone else said 10-pin bowling comp. Another text here, competitive eating challenge. I just think a basic bench press challenge. Oh, yes. I like that one. I've got one more suggestion that I'd like to run past you guys and potentially put to the big show as well. Sperm count. Sperm count? Both shows go down to the fertility clinic, get our sperms counted. And the highest count wins. I'm a little bit worried on a couple of counts.

39:59Mike Minogue:Number one, we are the show with a female. So it's Jase versus Zoe. But also you've got two guys that have had vasectomies. Yes, I'm infertile. Oh, right. So you would have to take the load there, Manai. Manai's happy taking the load. I know that about him. Yeah, totally, man. He loves taking the load. Absolutely. Just interested, though, a couple of points there. One, that he's come up with the idea of a flat pack challenge the week that you've discussed that you're terrible with flat packs. Yes. And also knowing that I have also got a zero sperm count as well. So a couple of ideas there. I get the feeling that I've just been plucked out of thin air.

40:37Yes. You know, he's doing his thing.

40:39Keyzie:They're probing very succinctly at our weaknesses here.

40:43Mike Minogue:I also don't want to do a sperm count challenge. I don't want to find out on national radio that I have a low sperm count. You know what I mean? If that was to happen, I'd rather it happen off air. Or on TV.

40:54Keyzie:I feel confident in that sense that I'd cover for both of you. Right. You know what I'm saying? Why don't we have a weigh-in and whoever weighs the least is the champ. Like all of us weigh in together.

41:06Mike Minogue:Oh, my goodness. We could win that. Yeah, we could. We could win that. The lightest. Yeah. Oh, no, they've got, because Zoe's very, she's tiny, what's she, like 30 kgs? Yeah. How heavy are you? You're like 35.

41:19Keyzie:Yeah, no, about 34 at the moment. 34 kgs. Can I just say,

41:24Mike Minogue:I love the idea of the parallel parking. Anything to do with a car, I love the idea. But we've also already done, so again, Manaya's picked something, we've done this challenge before. No, not the parallel parking. We did the parallel parking. Out at the raceway. Out at the raceway. You remember how that went. I won. I like 10-pin bowling. I like 10-pin bowling. 10-pin bowling is a really even thing where nobody does it often enough to be good at it. Yes. You get out there and you have a crack.

41:49Keyzie:Yeah, I mean, I hate the game. Oh, who doesn't? But, yeah, that's why I'm – Jase, Jase. I'd be really happy with the sperm count thing. Jase. Because I feel like I'd really excel, but – But what do you do? Do you put it on a table and then you've got to just go one, two, three? Yeah, just get a little – a little, you know, ice block stick, you know, and just count them out.

42:14Mike Minogue:You know, there's places you can go to to get that done. Really? I think so, yeah. Who would do that for a job? Fertility clinics. Oh. But for Tenpin Bowling, would you be happy? Because we can. You can use a little ramp, and we'll pull the sides out.

42:29Keyzie:Why are you assuming that I would not be good at Tenpin Bowling? I'm okay at it. I'm not great at it. When was the last time you did it? Two years, three years ago, maybe? It's like his golf though, Kese. He's a natural.

42:42Mike Minogue:But the other thing with tempen bowling is I like the idea, but it's not grabbing me enough. It's not exciting enough to watch us just play bowling, play bowls. At least the bench press. It's more difficult for you to get injured. The bench press, I'm worried about you again. Yeah, because you're going to twang something for sure. Okay, well, if we're worried about me twanging something, let's just do the sperm count then. The Hauraki Big Show, weekdays from four on Radio Hauraki. Let's put another mad bastard on the bed.

43:11Keyzie:Bloody Oats, fellas. Boy, I'm looking forward to this trip. Let's just go straight to the phone line, shall we? Let's not muck around here. G'day, Josh, you mad bastard. How's life? Oh, you know, taking along, bro. Yeah. Good on you, mate. What's the plan tonight, Josh?

43:26Mike Minogue:A couple of bourbons, a couple of high-hard rated. Yeah, good on you, mate. Whereabouts in Taudonga are you, your base men? We're in Ohio, weedy, bro. Oh, yeah. It's a beautiful spot there. It is a beautiful spot, actually. Kesey's got a plantation down those ways. Yeah, you do, don't you, Kesey? We've got plenty. Nah, mine's out in Tapuna, man. Oh, yeah, you're way up there, eh, bro? Yeah, beautiful. Wow. Josh, you into your rugby league, mate? I fucking love league, bro. Yeah, man. That's a massive backbone.

43:55Keyzie:I even love it, too. You're in the draw, mate. You hold the line, right? Why don't we just give it to him now? No. It's not how it works. Oh, isn't it? Yeah. Okay, no, that's all G. All right, mate. Let's sound the line and pugs will look after you. G'day, Patrick, you mad bastard. How's life?

44:09Mike Minogue:G'day, Jase. Yeah, going pretty good.

44:11Keyzie:Yeah, good, thanks, mate. Good, can't complain. Looking forward to the weekend there, Patrick.

44:15Mike Minogue:Yeah, for sure. Going to head down to the local and have a few jugs. Yeah, get on your eyes, Joe. Yeah, man, sounds real good. Hey, Patrick, I see you're in Dunedin, man. Are you going to come to the live show next week? Yeah, mate, for sure. Heading off from the lab early, so I'll be there. Yeah, get on your mind. That's the one, man.

44:30Keyzie:Come and say g'day, you mad bastard.

44:32Mike Minogue:If you're into needon as well and wondering where it's going to be, Emerson's Wednesday next week, 407. Patrick, you into your rugby league?

44:39Keyzie:Yeah, absolutely loving it this year. Got more into it over the years.

44:42Mike Minogue:Yeah, that's the one. It helps that the Warriors are good as well. Yeah, definitely. When did that happen? What, that they're good? Yeah. Well, it happens every now and then. Oh, right, yeah. A few times a season. Hey, Patrick, you're in the draw, mate. You hold the line okay? Cheers, mate. Beautiful. You seem like a nice fella. Yeah. That is, of course, to join us. Heading over to Magic Round, four weeks' time. We are flying to Brisbane to see eight games of NRL over three nights at Suncorp Stadium. If you want to join, boystrip.co.nz. Book your package, guarantee your spot.

45:11Keyzie:Good stuff, mate. Plenty coming up after 6 o 'clock, so stay tuned, New Zealand.

45:20Mike Minogue:The Hauraki Big Show with Jace, Mike and Keezy.

45:23Keyzie:Tune in weekdays at 4 on Radio Hauraki. Welcome back, you massive backbones. And hope your Friday is absolutely going off as we head into the weekend. By the way, you're listening to The Big Show brought to you by Toledo's.

45:44Mike Minogue:Sure is, Jase. Toledo's, by the way, is a natural electrolyte drink. If you'd like to order some, toledos.co.nz. They are rolling out at various supermarkets across the country. I believe Fresh Choice all across the country. They are available. Yeah. New Zealand made as well. Don't buy that foreign muck.

46:06Mike Minogue:Toledo's.

46:08Keyzie:What are you fellas having for dinner? Have we got the Friday takeaway vibe tonight? I prefer a Sunday takeaway, to be honest with you. Yeah, no, that's fair enough. But I don't know what we're having tonight, but I'm sure it'll be delicious because my lover's cooking it. Your lover? Sorry, fellas. That's all good, man. It's all good. I'd be curious to know what you ate last night.

46:32Mike Minogue:Meatballs, actually, man. Oh, yes, that's right. You were eating meatballs. Bloody good eating, it was.

46:36Keyzie:Yeah, good stuff. Funnily enough, I had meatballs. I had meatballs, too, last night. How are they going? Bloody good. Gee whiz. Sitting a bit funny, but, you know, all good. What did you have, Keezy? If you say... Meatballs. Meatballs, I'm going to be furious.

46:54Mike Minogue:No, last night I had, it was like a red Thai curry noodle soup thing. Oh, God. You were saying that goes straight through you. Did I say that? Yeah, yeah, totally. Hey, tonight I'm going to the mall for dinner, which I'm excited about. Oh, you've got to be careful because if you go to the mall, you can end up getting some kind of little bit of a stomach bug. Not always. I ate there this afternoon.

47:18Keyzie:Yeah. What do you tend to go with when you're at the mall there, Kesey?

47:23Mike Minogue:Actually, there's this really great spicy noodle joint.

47:31Come on, fellas. Hey, Pugs Packers just went up for the Radio Awards, brother. Come on, man.

47:38Mike Minogue:And can you entitle it, The Fellas Discoverer Fart Sound Effect? Here's Queen to the Stone Age. The Hauraki Big Show. Weekdays from four on Radio Hauraki.

47:49Keyzie:Radiohead there on the Radio Hauraki Big Show. this beautiful, crisp Friday evening. Nah, just joking, fellas.

47:58Mike Minogue:It's time for this. What's on the news? With me, Casey.

48:09Mike Minogue:Awesome. Thanks, fellas. Thank you. So this segment is where I find an interesting news story from the day, and this one comes from Korea. South Korea. Is that all good with you guys? Yeah, I can't wait. Cool. Jase? Waiting for you to get on with it. What's wrong with this segment, man? Why are you so anti it?

48:30Keyzie:Well, you just said it's from Korea, and it's like, and? We've been going for a minute, and you haven't even gotten into it, Keezy.

48:37Mike Minogue:Well, it's just I feel like there's so much negative energy surrounding it, you're just going to come and fart all over my segment. I'm not playing it again. Right, so in Korea, for the last nine days, there has been a wolf on the loose. a wolf escaped from a zoo. The wolf's name is Nukgu and it is part of the sort of breed of wolves that once upon a time used to run free in South Korea and they're trying to breed them and then release them and then reestablish them in the wild. Right. So Nukgu dug underneath the fence of his enclosure and escaped into the wilderness. The Korean... Job done. Job done, 100%.

49:20Mike Minogue:job's done. But the Korean people then worry because there's a wolf on the loose and also they're trying to bring them back and this one has never been out in the wild and they weren't even sure it knew how to hunt. Turns out after nine days on the wild, various sightings, they found it, tranquilised it, tested its vitals, it's A-OK and it's put on weight. So it's been hunting, which is exciting. But it was so exciting for the entire nation of South Korea. This must have a hell of an ending. Yeah, I reckon. South Korea, it represented freedom. You know what I mean? And really going for it. So someone made a cryptocurrency and named it Nookgu.

50:00Mike Minogue:So that wolf is now back in captivity and safe.

50:07Mike Minogue:Fellas, come on, man. You've got to give me something here. I've found this news story from South Korea about Nookgu, and you're just sitting there like, oh. Yeah. This isn't as good as the stuff we usually do, even though we just did a break about doing farts. Well, that's a hard one to top no matter what you did next, to be honest. Yeah, I mean, you're on a losing wicket from the get-go there, Kesey. This would have been a better one for you, Kesey. Now, I'm just, I've just, while you've just done that last, when you finished there, I realised that was the end of it. It took me a beat to realise that that was all we were going to get.

50:39I've just found this headline. So you tell me whether you would rather hear about this, Jase. dog poo, remove downpipes and six trailer loads of rubbish left behind by tenant.

50:51Keyzie:You are joking!

50:57Mike Minogue:The Hauraki Big Show with Jace, Mike and Keezy. Tune in weekdays at four

51:02Keyzie:on Radio Hauraki. Silver chair there on the Radio Hauraki Big Show this beautiful Friday evening. Fia la zindi. Having a lovely time with my wife last night. We're going to hang out and watch a little bit of television. Because we don't often do it. We've been working late, you see, but now we can watch a little bit of telly. And so I was all excited about it. We lined up a TV show. Then the cat started meowing old Birdshit Chris. Birdshit Chris. And my wife realized that there was no cat food in the house. Oh, no. I was already in my pajamas, and the rule is if you're already in your pajamas, you don't have to go out.

51:40On your gym jams. So my wife had to go out and get the cat food, which is your dry and also your wet. So is that your bickies and your meat? Your bickies and your meat, which is weird. That meat's not right, but we'll get on to that another day. Now, this was about 7.30 when she went out. The supermarket is just down the road a little, maybe 700, 800 metres. She was gone for one hour and a half. Wow. Now, I didn't message her at all to see what was going on and what was taking so long. Really? I definitely would have. Yeah. I certainly thought about it, but I was like, look, I'll just be chill.

52:20I'll just be chill. What the hell? Where are you? Where are you? Exactly. What could you possibly? Now, what I thought was, well, actually, maybe, because that one's not a proper supermarket, maybe that one's shut and she's had to go further away. Further afield. Further afield. But the other one is about another two Ks away from that. Yeah, right.

52:39Mike Minogue:So an hour and a half. Right. Yeah. It's quite a long time. Maybe she was taking your cat with her because your cat's got wheels on its hind legs. Yeah, it does. It does. But the cat was with me.

52:50Keyzie:Yeah. Right. Yeah, no, the cat was with me. I would definitely be sending a text like, oh, gee, question mark, question mark.

52:58Mike Minogue:Well, this is where it's actually good. And this is not even a joke. Yeah. That my wife has find my iPhone on and we can see where each other are at all times. Yeah. Because I'd look at it because I'd be worried. I'd be like, you okay? And I looked at it and, oh, no, she's at the supermarket. Yes. So, yeah, that's why I run that. You should run that. Yeah. Yeah, but the temptation would be to be constantly checking up on her and finding out where she is. Only if you're suspicious. Because you're always having a geese. No, I barely do, man. My wife could be anywhere right now, although I just looked she's at home, which is good.

53:27Anyway, she gets home an hour and a half later, and I said, where have you been? What'd she say? At the supermarket. An hour and a half. That's exactly how I said it, Keezy.

53:40Mike Minogue:An hour and a half. I hope not. Got to sound a bit nasally. You big goofball. And she said yes. I said, what were you doing there? So I thought you must have gone to the other supermarket. She said, and this is absolutely true. I was reading a magazine. Wow. Did you say wow? No, I didn't. Okay, good. Woman's Day, perhaps? No, she's waiting for Keezy's one to come out. She's very excited about that. We are all excited about that. She's very excited. But no, it was some kind of house and garden or something along those lines. Oh, wow. I would have thought you'd just buy it. And then come home to your house and read it.

54:21And come home to the house. Without a word of a lie, an hour and a half, standing at the supermarket, reading a magazine. Now, should I be taking that personally? because that to me feels like, oh, I could go home. Oh, God. Yeah, I'll just sit here and - Old Muggins is on the couch.

54:39Mike Minogue:Old Mogi, yeah. Old Mogi's there.

54:41Keyzie:But his old filthy bloody pyjama pants that are all sewn up because his fartos keeps flopping out all over the place.

54:48Mike Minogue:Totally, that's the thing. So she'd rather stand in the supermarket and read than be home with you.

54:53Keyzie:Apparently so. Because it was going to be a night, because you were saying that you'd been working late and all that sort of stuff. And you wanted to watch TV together? A nice quiet night together.

55:02Mike Minogue:Yeah, what were you going to watch? The Ditch Season 1. Oh, real funny. The Hauraki Big Show. Weekdays from four on Radio Hauraki.

55:11Keyzie:You're welcome back, you massive backbones. Guns and roses. That was guns and roses there on the radio. Hauraki Big Show. You can tell it's the end of the week, can't you? Hey, but right now it's time for...

55:31Mike Minogue:meetpattynip69 at gmail.com get in touch with the fellas

55:43Mike Minogue:meetpattynip69 at gmail.com real email address fellas real email address you slide in there you ask advice 100 % anonymous and if it gets read out on the show you get a prize it's funny you do that hand signal Jase gesture the pugs just then because that's what this email actually is in relation to. Oh, how good. Sexual relations? Mogi, that is brilliant. Thank you. G'day, fellas, Anonymous here. I'm in a sticky situation. Oh, hello. Now you're joking. Hallelujah. Currently, I'm a 23-year-old stallion. And recently moved into a flat with two similar-aged females. Yeah. One thing has led to another, and I have had an intimate encounter with both individuals on separate occasions.

56:31Mike Minogue:Neither know I've been sleeping around the flat, but both want to take things to the next level. I don't know how either female will take it if they find out what's been happening and I'm living in constant fear of them having girl chat and telling each other. What should my next steps be? How do I choose one over the other? And how do I break the news to the unlucky lover? Cheers. You just have to, look, this is something that happens in every young man's life. And you just have to embrace the fact that it's going to be a disaster. Yes. You don't want anybody's feelings to get hurt, but look, swing for the fences would be my suggestion.

57:08He certainly backs himself, doesn't he?

57:11Mike Minogue:Oh, this email reeks of cockiness. It can't be true. This guy is the kind of guy that is a mistake that young women make. Correct. Yes. so you know enjoy yourself

57:24Keyzie:the assumption that he's going to choose one and one of them is going to be devastated once they find out that he's been sleeping with both of them that's right that both of them want to take it to the next level what is the next level though is it a menagerie oh yeah a menagerie is like

57:46Mike Minogue:a group of animals is it? a menagerie Well, that's not the next step then. I don't know how they make love they could do. There's a few steps down. What, like a group of animals? They could make love like a group of animals. I think he should have a go. At the menage a trois? Yeah. Have a go? I mean, yeah, if anyone can pull it off, you can, man. You're the man. He's the man.

58:08Keyzie:You've been in a menage a trois, Kesey?

58:10Mike Minogue:Never have. Almost did. Remember my wife bumped into that girl in the gym? That's right. That's right. Who was very clearly hitting on her, and then my wife was like, oh, I'm not interested. And I was like, yes, we are. What are you doing?

58:23Mike Minogue:She still laughs about that. Got on the man as well. How about you there, Jizz?

58:29Keyzie:Have I ever been in a menage a trois? Yeah. May we.

58:36Mike Minogue:Cece. What were the dudes' names? Dudes, dudes.

58:42Keyzie:Andy and Steve.

58:46Mike Minogue:The advice is, yeah, just go for it. Yeah, man. You're up to your neck already Yeah And by the way let us know how it goes The Hauraki Big Show Weekdays from 4 on Radio Hauraki

59:06Keyzie:Well there you go you mad bastards That's the big show done and dusted for your Friday night And dear What a show it's been What a week Boy oh boy It's been a great week. Hey, what's the podcast outro clip tonight, Keezy?

59:24Mike Minogue:I'm not sure. I don't remember, but the clip is titled Dog Easy. So here it is. It comes out at 7.30 tonight. Jason's holding a ball, and he keeps pretending he's throwing it. That's exactly right. And I keep believing it. That's right. Where is it? Where is it? Ah, it's in your hand, you sneaky bastard. Yeah, but this time he's going to throw it, though.

59:43Keyzie:And you sprint off down the beach there, and it's like, oh, where's the ball? Where's the ball? You turn around and Jace is a **** wrapping his gob around a dart. I don't know what you were going to say there. Yeah, that was in connection with me giving up the vapes next month.

59:58Mike Minogue:100%. And I keep supporting you like a dog who thinks you're going to throw the ball but never do. Yes. We should be running some kind of a hosted pot on that. Yes. A bet on Jace. Yeah, yeah. A bet on Jace being able to do it. Why, so he can let everyone down. Yeah. Totally, man. An opportunity for everyone to lose out. All win. All win. Thank you. Wait, so you would have to pay everyone? No, I wouldn't. Everyone else would put their money in. Right. Oh, I bet if they're for or against. That's right. Be fun, eh, Jase?

1:00:28Keyzie:And actually, that would be really good because the whole world could watch me. Yeah. You know what I mean? Which is like your dream. No, it's really not. Hey, Mogi, what are you doing tonight? Tonight. I'd like to watch a movie or something, but, you know, I wouldn't mind watching Marty Supreme. Oh, yes. But every time I go into Apple, it's like 30 bucks or something, and I just can't bring myself to pay it. So I don't know. I just sit there and wait until it gets cheaper. Why don't you watch Marty Meat Lovers?

1:00:58Mike Minogue:Marty Meat Lovers? What's that? It's a pizza joke. Oh. Because it's Supreme. Oh, here he is. Keezy.

1:01:06Keyzie:You're going to the mall. I'm going to the mall to have dinner. And to buy stuff. And to buy. To buy some slacks. Some slacks and boat shoes.

1:01:15Mike Minogue:whatever you see me in at this Women's Day interview I will have bought from the mall tonight yeah you're going to be dressed like old Moogie aren't you because they give you like pointers and literally all the clothing nothing I own ticks the right box yeah what are you doing tonight Jase go and see your mates

1:01:30Keyzie:yeah going to see my mates now straight down to the pub after the show good stuff well have fun mate enjoy it man and I might meet up with my wife after that and have a bit of din-dins nice man yeah nice hey listen to the show listen to the podcast Look at the Instagram. Till Monday, goodbye.