FULL SHOW: You're A Shocking Bastard

10:21She was working from home on Friday, so she spent most of the day sort of, you know, working on the laptop whilst cooking and preparing a trough of pork mints. Yeah. Yeah.

10:30Keyzie:How did you get along? because I know that you were thinking sangria. Yes. Which was like very ooh-la-la. You said you ended up having to buy a couple of casks of cheap red.

10:42Jase:But you were worried sick about what kind of jug you'd use to pour them. Yeah, yeah, what you were going to put it in. Yeah, well, you know, I've never bought a jug before. Yeah. You know, that's like the first. They must have been so impressed. With the jug? Yes. Yeah, because I was going to. You needed a couple, didn't you? A couple of jugs. Yeah A couple of big jugs I was making a lot of sangria Because I didn't know any recipes So I bought a couple of big casks A couple of big goon bags of red wine To put in the massive jugs And then it turns out you need brandy Did you know that? You need brandy Well I actually genuinely have never heard that

11:21Keyzie:But I'll take your word for it Yeah so a bit of brandy in there A few other little things Diced up some fresh fruit Put that in there as well What do you put in there?

11:29Jase:Like apples and bananas. Apples and bananas. Some grapefruit. Oh, yeah. Do you really? Do you put citrus in there? Some fijo. Oh, absolutely. I would have thought pears and tomatoes. Well, obviously I put tomato in there, but I didn't put pear in there.

11:46Keyzie:Was the idea behind the sangria and putting brandy in the sangria that people would get steamed and not notice they were eating pork mints? No, no, no, no, no. It was to complement the pork mints. Oh, right. Okay. Yeah, is that a combo, is it? Yeah, but the thing is I didn't time it right, so when they arrived I was still making it so I wasn't cold. Right. So we had to have warm sangria because I'd washed the jugs. Yeah. In the dishwasher. Soaky water? No, dishwasher. So they were red hot and I made the sangria in it and the people showed up and all I had were these two hot jugs of sangria. Yeah.

12:20How'd it go? It went really well. Everyone had a lovely time. You're always nervous when you're hosting. for entree we made like a tabbouleh salad. That went really well.

12:30Jase:I thought you were meant to make that as well. I thought only you were making the main. No, no, but we always go above and beyond, Mogi. Oh, sure. With the mints and the tabbouleh. That's right. He wanted to show how loaded they were. Yeah. You know what I mean? Yeah. And to be honest, nothing says you're loaded like potato salad, which I made. Wow, I just got some from the supermarket in a big tub. Sort of served that in a little ice cream container, just open top, hoe in as much as you want. Then that with the pork mints. And then for dessert, fruit salad. Oh, nice. From the can. Oh, and I just had leftover from making the sangria.

13:03Keyzie:Oh, right. You just strained it out? Yeah, yeah, yeah. So we did the two massive jugs. Yeah. I remember them. And then we pulled the fruit out of that, put that in a little bowl. A couple of cherries? Yeah, some of the sweet cherries, you know. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Pulled that fruit into a big bowl there. And then just some French vanilla ice cream. Nice.

13:22Jase:I'd like to talk more about this. I'd like to talk about what kind of conversation you had. Obviously we're running out of time now, but I'd like to get to the conversation and whether you sat at the head of the table or not, whether it was old King Keezy. It wasn't King Keezy. Yeah, we can talk about that. We talked about the show a lot, actually. Oh, great. Yeah, yeah, yeah. They were all saying how much they hate you on the show. The Hauraki Big Show with Jace, Mike and Keezy. Tune in weekdays at four on Radio Hauraki.

13:48Keyzie:The police here on the Radio Hauraki Big Show this murky Monday afternoon. Let's talk TV. What's on the telly with Mike Minogue?

14:03Jase:Yes. Oh, yes. Yes. We started watching Willy Wonka and the Chocolate Factory. Great movie. The old school one there. Yes, Gene Wilder. Because we've just finished reading it to our daughter there, and she's very keen. So we watched about half an hour of that. Just chipping away at the FFL. I'll let you know at the end of it. Did she find it scary? Not yet, because it's only half an hour into it. Because there's the bit where Gene, or what's the, Willy Wonka, takes them down the river on the boat. That used to scare me. There's quite a few bits in there that are scary. At the end, he explodes at Charlie in a fit of rage.

14:40Jase:That's right. That was scary. And also when they're all floating up towards the ceiling fan, and then one kid drowns in a river of chocolate. It's quite full on. It is. It's very dark. It's very dark. But kids love that sort of stuff. Nowadays it's all garbage, isn't it? Remember James and the Giant Peach? What? Is this a sort of filthy movie you've been watching?

15:01Keyzie:Fialos? I watched The Woman in Cabin 10. Where were you staying? On a lavish yacht for an assignment, a journalist sees a passenger go overboard. But when no one believes her, she risks her life to uncover the truth. How'd she go? Terribly. It was tedious.

15:27Jase:Yeah.

15:27Keyzie:Boring. 27 % on Rotten Tomatoes. It had Guy Pearce, Keisha. Castle Hughes. No, not Castle Hughes, actually. Keisha, one of those. Look, it was one of those movies where it was sort of, you know, murder on board, what's going on, who did it, who done it kind of thing. It was just stupid. It was pointless. Did you watch the whole thing, though? We watched the whole thing and just went, what? Why? That was a waste of my time. Where did you watch it? How many buzzies out of five? One buzzy out of five. Not even that. Half a buzzy.

16:02Jase:And where did you watch it? Netflix. You're really good at sticking through stuff. As soon as it's clear to me that something sucks, I turn it off.

16:09Keyzie:Generally, it started off okay. And I was like, okay, this could be quite good. And it does actually have a reasonable cast in it. But then it was just... Keira Knightley? Keira Knightley, thank you. Yeah, nice. I watched a documentary on the making of Jaws because I'd heard a lot about how it was one of the biggest disaster movies ever and I didn't realise it had like four different screenwriters that had passed it around. The book hadn't even been published yet and they'd already turned it into a screenplay or they'd bought the rights to turn it into a movie. And then basically the executives were just like we want the movie to release pretty much straight after the book does so that way we can capitalise on the publicity.

16:49which meant the shark itself, Bruce, they made two of them. One where the left side of the big mechanical shark was showing so you could see all the bits, and then one where the right side was showing so you could work on it depending on which way it was attacking on camera. They did it 15 months to get that ready. Wow. And the studio were like, no, no, we're filming this in May, like two months away. And then it just kept on breaking. It was designed for fresh water, then they shot it in seawater, and it just ruined all the electrics. It was an absolute shambles. and directing it was Steven Spielberg, of course, 27 years old.

17:22And it was so hectic and so stressful that once he got to the airport to fly and leave, he had a full mental breakdown with all the stress that he had been going through. Check it out on YouTube, actually. Have a look. Just type in Making of Jaws. It is one of the most interesting things I've seen in ages.

17:41Keyzie:Your daughter would love that movie, Mogi. Oh, yeah, she's a big fan of that sort of stuff. Especially with you going to Fiji and stuff.

17:47Jase:Well, we did actually. We watched some shark documentaries over the weekend as well, which was good for her because she has had that at the back of her mind. I've never seen Jaws. No, I was going to say you haven't seen Jaws.

17:58Keyzie:It's one of the great movies. I loved it. It's such a good movie.

18:01Jase:Just watch the making of documentary. You've seen all you need to see now. But even for example, there's an iconic thing where the shark gets hooked on those three yellow boys. The reason they did that is because the shark wasn't working. Right. So they had a boat like three kilometres in the distance so you couldn't see it on the horizon towing those boys. Right. And that almost added to the intensity that you could never see the shark. Yes. Really, really interesting.

18:25Keyzie:It's what you can't see that scares you the most. Do you know what I mean? Great stuff. Hey. Douche, douche, douche. Speaking of which is Arctic Monkeys. The Hauraki Big Show with Jace, Mike and Keezy. Tune in weekdays at four on Radio Hauraki. Welcome back, you massive backbones. Hope you're surviving your Monday. You're listening to The Big Show, brought to you by Reburger. Handcrafted burgers, loaded fries and gourmet eats that'll change the game. Reburger? Hardly no one.

19:00Jase:You know, like, hardly no one.

19:06Jase:I've actually spoken to the managing director of Reburger and she hates that one. Really? Yeah. Just because of that joke. Is it a she? You seem surprised, Kesey, what you're saying. A woman can't run in a fantastic burger franchise.

19:22Keyzie:Whoa, whoa.

19:25Jase:That's absolutely shocking bastard. Take a step back, Kesey. Shocking bastard. No, it's just that I met the managing director and it was a bloke. Nah. Oh, he's bald. Oh, what, you're saying a woman can't be bald now? Come on. Shocking bastard. That's a shocking bastard.

19:45Keyzie:He had a moustache. Just on Reber. Oh! You're saying a woman can't have a moustache?

19:52Jase:Shocking bastard. What a mad... Oh, I'm fuming.

19:57Keyzie:Speaking of Reberger, I went to Reberger and Henderson in the weekend. I'll be giving a review of it. You get a Reberger all the time, right? I do, yeah. So why are you giving a random review of a one-off trip to Henderson? Well, because you guys have said to me, I've even got photos and stuff to prove it, because you always pretend like I'm not going to Reburger, but I always do go to Reburger.

20:18Jase:So now four months in, you've got a photo. Good stuff.

20:20Keyzie:I've got so many photos. And let me just say, to give you a bit of a taste up, the experience was fantastic. I've just got a few issues that I want to just clean out and iron out, if you will. Okay, sure. For management, who is a lovely woman, by the way, and I have full respect for her, the best CEO I've ever come across. Any thoughts on that, Keezy?

20:46Jase:Wasn't her name Grant?

20:50Jase:You're saying a woman can't be called Grant now? Keezy? No, that's not what I'm saying. I'm so sorry. Oh, Rage, Scott, this is a tune. The Hauraki Big Show, weekdays from four on Radio Hauraki.

21:04Keyzie:Queen and David Bowie there on the Radio Hauraki Big Show this Monday afternoon. Fellas, we're just discussing the old Fiji, aren't we, boys? Keezy's got some ideas. He's a shocking bastard. Yeah, he wants to get in early and start early. Now, fellas, we've all been talking about our weekends. It was a monumental weekend for Old Hoody Jay. Can I use a word to discuss my weekend? Momentum. Now, you know that my wife and I are thinking of moving out. Yeah. In fact... You've had a good run, man. Can I say that? Yeah, we've had a really good run. A really good run. And I said to my wife about a week and a half ago, I said, darling, my love, my joy, my backbone.

21:46Keyzie:My wife. We've got to stick with this. We've got to keep pushing through because, you know, her and I, we have a tendency to just fall away. Right, you both do. We both do. Yeah, right. We both do. So I said, no, no, no. Team talk. We have to keep going. And so we had a very good weekend around the house, tidying it all up, bloody clearing out all the bush and shrubbery, discovered the old pet cemetery there, which we'd forgotten, two dead cats, two dead dogs. There was about six guinea pigs, a pig, skeletons everywhere. But the concern that I have is that the place is beginning to look so good that it's like love it or list it.

22:34Keyzie:You know what I mean? It's like it's looking so good and we're doing all these things that are making the property look amazing, and we're going, oh, my God. We're going to be in a situation where it's looking so good that we don't want to move out of it. You know what I mean? Which is interesting because for the 25 years that we've lived there, you know what I mean? You don't worry about it because you're not thinking of selling or renting or doing any of that stuff. As soon as you do that and you make all this effort, the place looks amazing.

23:03Jase:Yeah, well, you've let it go to ruin over the course of 25 years, and the problem, of course, is if you decide to say it's just going to go back to that because you two are shocking bastards.

23:12Keyzie:Yeah, well, this is my concern is if we don't move out of it, it will go back to it. But here is a very monumental moment. It was my wife that did it. It was my wife that did it. Now, in our little corridor as you're going through the front door, you guys will see or you won't see it anymore, but when you come over for the Barbie before we move out, we have this mosaic and it's about probably 50 or 60 family photos. and the little frames, you know, just all over this wall. People always comment on how awesome it is when they walk in and there's just the Hoity J family history there, basically.

23:51Keyzie:And then on Sunday afternoon I was sitting in the lounge here with my hand down my trackies just readjusting myself and I heard this dook-dook, dook-dook-dook-dook, dook-dook-dook-dook-dook-dook. And I was like, what the f*** is that? Too late, Keezy. Sorry. And I go out into the corridor and my wife is removing all of the family photos from the wall. I can't tell you how significant that is. We're committed now. Australia, here we come. Oh, Aussie, you reckon. How good. Yeah, yeah. You were saying off here that she was just removing the ones of you.

24:31Keyzie:Well, initially. And then she said, ah, that's better. Initially, yeah But then she removed them all I know you guys will be really excited for me It's plenty good, man It's an exciting adventure ahead of you, man It is an exciting adventure Because we have been there for over 20 years I'm fizzing about it You know what I mean? But I am concerned that the place is going to look so good That we're not going to move out Like when you say amazing I mean, like you guys You'd be inviting me over for a dinner party because you'd see my house and go, I want to get to that place. You know what I mean, Keezy?

25:09Keyzie:So I want to get to that place. And that's the fact I know that you're kind of looking for a place at the moment. I think once we're done, we'll let you and your wife come over and have first dibs. On your house? On my house. Can you imagine how cool that would be, Keezy, if you moved into Hoity J's house?

25:29Jase:Yeah. The foundations are made out of cigarette butts. The Hauraki Big Show with Jase, Mike and Kesey. Tune in weekdays at 4 on Radio Hauraki.

25:40Keyzie:Pluto there on the Radio Hauraki Big Show this Monday afternoon. The time is 5.20, which means it's time for the first ever... The Big Show's toolbox top-up with ITM. Just confirming it's actually 5.28. What did I say? You said 5.20.

25:59Jase:Come on, man. I guess it's your eyes going, Jase. God, they're going on you, young man. I know. 41 and I can't bloody see a thing. Where'd you find those glasses?

26:08Keyzie:Bloody Nora. Anyway. G'day, Jase, you mad bastard. How's life? Very good, thanks, fellas. G'day, mate. Hey, Jase. Yeah, yeah, yeah. What do you do for a crust, mate? The admin work, pressing a few squares. Pressing a few squares. Okay. Yeah, backbone. It's either typing on a keyboard or a tiler. Yeah. Keyboard running. Ah, yeah. Nice, kid. Can you use tools in that case, Jase? Yeah, yeah, I do a bit of stuff around the house. Nice. More garden tool, you know, a bit of hedge trimmer. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Well, today, Jase, if you win, you'll be taking away the Milwaukee M18 Fueled two-piece power pack valued at$930.

26:51It comes with a hammer drill driver and an impact driver as well, man, and a few other accessories.

26:56Jase:Oh, beautiful. How bloody good does that sound? Now, Kesey. What's up, man?

27:00Keyzie:What does Jase have to do in order to win that? That's a great question, Jase. It is a great question, man.

27:05Jase:We're going to read out, aren't we, Kesey? Correct me if I'm wrong. Ten different tools over the course of 15 seconds there, Jase. Well, we're going to call them out. We're going to rattle them out. Yeah, and then you have to name us. Is it five, Kesey? You have to remember five of them and say them back to us. In 15 seconds.

27:24Keyzie:All right, Jase? All right. Okay, mate. All right.

27:27Jase:Face yourself, all right, mate? Here we go. It's got to be quick, all right, mate? So you're going to have to be quick as well. Starting with angle grinder. Anus press. Screwdriver. Blower. Jabberwocky. Hammer. Leaf blower. Over the shoulder Tony hammer. Drill. Nose blower. Your time starts now, Jase. Drill, hammer, leaf blower, blower, angle grinder. He's done it. He's done it straight away, man. It's so easy. That was amazing. That was incredible. That was extraordinary, Jase. God, you've got a good memory, man. those tools as well they're just a standard run of the mill tools so for him to remember them like that what a clever bastard

28:11Keyzie:so good Jase, hey you enjoyed that man oh well dude, thank you very much no worries god that's easy isn't it, we might have to up the amount of tools people need to remember I reckon 6 don't forget this October and November stock up on the hottest tools and exclusive deals you won't find anywhere else, you can find a huge range of big brands, Makita Hakoki, DeWalt and more at your local ITM store nationwide. It is the toolbox top-up at the moment, so make sure you go and get involved, fellas. I'm going to go and get involved. I tell you what, the good bastards at ITM, they gave us a pack of our own, didn't they, fellas, with hats and all sorts in there.

28:44Keyzie:I'm loving it. Yeah, you've got your ITM hat on, eh, Jase? Yeah, I do, man. I love a hat.

28:48Jase:Yeah. As you know, fellas. Yeah, it looks bloody good, man. You look cool. Thanks, man. You look really good. The Hauraki Big Show with Jase, Mike and Keezy. Tune in weekdays at 4 on Radio Hauraki.

29:00Keyzie:Pool Jam there on the Radio Hauraki big show this Monday evening. Now, fellas, obviously we've been banging on a lot about the fact that we're going to Fiji this weekend. Actually, in fact, my daughter just texted me and said, What? How does that happen? But we are going on Friday. It is a golf weekend. I just want to remind everyone there's been a lot of chitter-chat about, you know, durries and beersies and all that sort of stuff. I want to remind you it's a golf weekend and there's been some issues about tee-off times. Well, basically we have to lock in a time that we'd like to play golf. Now, would we like to play just once on the Saturday, not overdo ourselves, not get all golfed out, or do you want to play twice, Saturday and Sunday?

29:45Is zero times an option? Probably not. You have to play golf. Oh, okay. Lock me in for two, Keezy. You want to go two? Yeah, I'm going two. Saturday and Sunday.

29:57Jase:No, I think I'll just go one day. Okay, Saturday? Yeah. Okay, I'll target Saturday. You want to play twice, Jase? Yeah, the rest of you are not playing on Sunday. No, I'll play with you. The only issue is, obviously, we're over in Fiji. It's exciting. We're offshore. And when the big show goes overseas, we tend to have a little fun at night. You know what I mean? What do you mean at night?

30:25Keyzie:I mean, when you say we tend to have a little bit of fun at night, it sounds a bit pervy and sexy. I just meant we'd have a few beers. Yeah, we do. But all day as well. Oh, and all day. Wow. Yeah. Yeah. A responsible amount of the day. Yeah. So I don't want to be playing too early because to be honest, my dream tea time is like after lunch, like two, three o 'clock. Yeah. What about you, Jase? I'm thinking 6 a.m. We get in there early, fellas. We play around and then just go and recline for the rest of the day by the pool. That's too early because that means I have to go to bed early the night before.

31:02No, I think you play through.

31:03Keyzie:Yeah, you just play through the whole weekend.

31:06Jase:Yeah. Right, okay. So that first night you get there, you've got first night fever, you go all night and then straight out onto the golf course. But it's just a really, really nice course, like a championship course, and it's going to be really hard already. Yeah. I'd love to have a good crack at it, give myself the best chance. Oh, you should go to sleep the night before then, for sure.

31:24Keyzie:I'll tell you what you should do. We'll get there. We'll do the show on the Arvo, and then you go straight to bed, Kesey. Mogi and I and Pugson and our winners, we'll just go hard until the Saturday and then get straight on the course. But the show, because we're broadcasting from there, it's an hour behind, so it'll be 6 o 'clock. So I shouldn't have dinner either. Just straight to bed. Yeah, just straight to bed for you, Kesey. Room service? Well, maybe.

31:51Jase:You can if you want, but I'd get an early night because you've got a big day the next day. Yeah. You have golf. Yeah, okay. Don't want to be hung over for golf. Yeah, because you don't want to be hung over and play golf. Has that ever happened before? Has anyone ever been hung over and played golf? No.

32:02Keyzie:That would be massively unprofessional. But you see, if you just carried on through the night into the morning responsibly, you wouldn't be hung over. No, that's right. You'd be in your prime. You'd be hitting the sweet spot every time. Yes. You know what I'm saying, Keezy? Okay. So we're locking in 6 a.m. tea time? Yeah, 6am.

32:21Jase:Well, it gets a bit hot after that, Keezy. It gets a bit hot over in Fiji. It's very standard. And also the wind gets up the further into the day you get. So in the morning, the breeze is always pretty low. Right, okay. Yeah. All right, well, I'll tell you what I'm going to do. I'm going to lock in going to bed straight after the show. Yeah. So I'll be in bed about 6.30. I might order some room service, get a cheeseburger or something. Yeah. Then I'll be up at sort of 4.30 warming up at the driving range. And yeah, yeah. Yeah, we'll just meet you there at some stage, Keezy.

32:50Keyzie:Well, hang on, when are you guys playing? Six? Oh, just see how we go, eh? What? But I've, like, gone to bed special. Yeah. Oh, you'll be raring to go, I'm sure.

33:04Keezy, Keezy, Keezy, Keezy. Yeah, OK, let's do it. The Hauraki Big Show with Jase, Mike and Keezy. Tune in weekdays at four on Radio Hauraki.

33:15Keyzie:The Killers there on the radio. Hodaki, big show this Monday. The hell is that, man? No, nothing. Okay. Nothing. All right. Fellas, after sex, I'd like to discuss with you something that's just been in the back of my mind. It's something that used to occur when I was a young fella. It's a campaign that I want to start up again. It was very much a part of my upbringing. And you just don't see it anymore, Maggie. You don't. And you want to start seeing it more. I want to see it more, and I want to see it brought back. Because it was such a part of my youth. I think that our listeners and the young people would be into it.

34:00Jase:They'd benefit from it, the younger generation, I think. Is this a new campaign that we're going to be running, unofficially?

34:05Keyzie:Yeah, it's an unofficial new campaign with a big show. Okay. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Yeah, I'm keen to hear your thoughts there, Jase. Oh, Pugs is coming in. Oh, Pugs has got some sort of gift for Mike.

34:18Jase:Look at this. It's some kind of a gift for me, fellas. It's these little coupons, and they allow me to get on the hammer. So how many has he got there, Pugs? So whenever I'm on the wagon, this will allow me to fall off the wagon. It looks like I've got about 10 or so. Is that about right? Oh, how good. That's pretty good. The problem with it is every time I fall off the wagon, it equates to not one night. Right. It then ends up being a couple weeks. Well, look, what we thought was, you know, So from now until your next birthday, you've got 10 of those vouchers there, man. Yes. And that basically just allows you to keep track of things.

34:49Right. Yeah.

34:50Jase:Now, who do I hand them to? Me. I've got another 100 here as well. Sweet as. I'm on it every night, guys. How good is that? Cheers, Pugsam, baby. Look at this.

35:00Keyzie:I think when you fall off the wagon, that just counts as one. Okay. Yeah, yeah. All right. So if it goes on for 100 days. I'm running out of. No, that's still just one. That's still the one. And then you back on the wagon for a week or two. Yeah. And then fall off again. And that's just one. That's for a few months. Yeah, yeah.

35:19Jase:I tell you, they're going to be bloody handy. Jase, if you want a few of these, brother, you just say to me. Yeah, thanks.

35:24Keyzie:Can you pass me a few?

35:28The Hauraki Big Show with Jase, Mike and Keezy. Tune in weekdays at four on Radio Hauraki.

35:34Keyzie:Welcome back, you're massive backbones. Hope your Monday's going along very nicely indeed. You are listening to The Big Show brought to you by Reeburger. Serving good times and good food. Dine-in or takeaway Reburger today. Oh, yum.

35:46Jase:Oh, this is so good because it's Reburger. Yum.

35:51Keyzie:Now, I went to Reburger in the weekend there, fella, last night, actually, in Hendo there. And can I just say, sensational. Right. The food, as always, was magnificent. How many buzzies out of five? I give the food four and a half buzzies out of five. In terms of if you're wanting your chips and burger kind of vibe. Yeah, yeah, yeah. You know what I mean? I agree. The interior, very, very nice. I like the set-up that they've got there. Very good. There was one criticism I have. Yes. And that is that in the restaurant itself, they were playing music, but then the backbones that were cooking all the food, which was right next to where the set-up is, they were playing their own music.

36:37Keyzie:So we had this crossover of two different types of music going on at the same time, which I found confusing and slightly discombobulating. But apart from that, magnificent.

36:49Jase:So the only boomer complaint you've got is those two types of music in there.

36:53Keyzie:Yeah, and it was confusing me.

36:55Jase:Yeah, so I mean, it's not even worth mentioning.

36:56Keyzie:I mean, I couldn't decide.

36:58Jase:You wouldn't want to single out an entire solo restaurant. Yeah, you wouldn't want to get a whole bunch of backbones fired just because they're playing their own music.

37:04Keyzie:Running the joint, I go, just one lot of music, fellas. It's too confusing otherwise.

37:08Jase:But if you weren't running the joint and you complain about it on national radio. Exactly, yeah, yeah.

37:12Keyzie:You're a backbone, Chase. Yeah, thanks, fellas. But bloody good. Bloody good. Yeah, man, it is delicious. What did you have? I just had a humble cheeseburger and the fries, of course. Yeah. My daughter had the red. Oh, Regent Red? Regent Red. That's my favourite. She said it was the bomb. It's delicious. And my wife had some kind of beef burger. I can't remember what it was called. But she said it was awesome. Sticky beef? No, it wasn't sticky beef, Keezy. Come on, man. Tush, tush. Numb. Numb, num, num, num. Numb, num, num, num. No, this is Numb by Linkin Park. Seriously, though. The Hauraki Big Show with Jace, Mike, and Keezy.

37:52Tune in weekdays at four on Radio Hauraki.

37:55Keyzie:Green day there on the Radio Hauraki Big Show. Indeed. This Monday evening. Now, fellas, we had a fascinating chat on the Big Show outro today, which is a bonus podcast that we do. It's a warm-up to the show. And I was triggered by something that we were talking about, and I'd like to bring it back because it was a big part of my upbringing, and I know, Moggy, for you too, it was a big part of your upbringing. And Keezy. Not so much. Interestingly, yeah, not so much. It wasn't something that you and all your mates indulged in. No, we didn't indulge in it. I sort of had like a hybrid version of it, a toned back version of it.

38:34Yes. That was very rarely brought out. I still didn't have a lot to do with that either. Yeah.

38:41Keyzie:Well, the idea that I'd like to put out there to our listeners, and I hope you guys back me up on this, is to bring back the brown eye. Right. And so just for those listening who have no idea what a brown eye is. Yeah, what is it, Jase? It's when someone drops their tweeds and clasps both buttocks in their hands and shows the world their interior.

39:08Jase:So sort of bends over at the waist, reaches back, grabs a batok, pulls east and west. Opens the curtains there.

39:15Keyzie:Opens the curtains. Yeah. And why do you want this to come back? Well, it was just such a part of my upbringing, you know what I mean? at school. I mean, and we did it so often. It was just, there was nothing gross about it. It was just a fun thing.

39:30Jase:It was sort of like a hello, g'day, kiova. Yeah, g'day, mate. Yeah, exactly. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Totally. It's like a Kiwi tradition. Very much so. Yeah, fish and chips, pavlova, brown eye. Totally. Because when I was growing up, it was the sort of thing you did to poke fun at someone, like, oh, let's go past. And when I was growing up, it was a moon. Make them look at my. You would moon them. Yeah, yeah, yeah. It's the sort of thing that sticks with them, man. 100%. What do you mean moon? So a moon is where you do the same thing, but you don't necessarily open the curtains. You keep the curtains closed.

40:03You're showing the Batox. You're just showing them the Batox.

40:06Jase:The Batox is the star of the show. Yes. That's right. And it's quite often, like, to enhance the moon, you might push it up against the glass of the window. Press ham. Press ham, yeah.

40:13Keyzie:Back in our day, like, the brown eye, because you sort of think it's pretty gross, but it was actually a term of affection. Right, so you wouldn't do it at someone to sort of tease them all. It was like, I love you. Yeah, it was like, g'day, mate.

40:27Jase:Yeah.

40:28Keyzie:Brown eye.

40:29Jase:Yes, exactly. I mean, some of them were travesties.

40:31Keyzie:Some of them, I mean, could be travesties for sure.

40:34Jase:Yeah, that's right. People who weren't taking care of themselves back there regularly enough, but they weren't to know that because it's sort of like if you're balding, you don't sort of know it until you see a photograph. Yes. Or someone points it out to you, takes you aside and has a whisper to you. Mate. No good. Yeah, right. So how do you propose that the audience brings back the brown eye? Do you want to, for example, if you see one of us in public, or maybe just start with you guys, do a brown eye? No, first of all, you've got to get the vernacular right, Keezy. You pull a brown eye. You don't do a brown eye.

41:05Jase:You pull a brown eye. You pull a brown eye.

41:07Keyzie:I don't want anyone doing a brown eye on me, Keezy. Right, so you want someone pulling a brown eye on you. Yes.

41:12Jase:No, you pull a brown eye at someone. Someone, yes. I'm going to pull a brown eye at you. Yeah, yeah. There you go. Because I thought it was do a brown eye on you. No, no, pull a brown eye. And that's the good thing about this is I think it's going to catch on really fast because it's simply something that's been forgotten, lost to the annals of time. Correct. I don't know if it was PC gone mad, but it's something that's just fallen by the wayside somehow. And I think if we bring it back, then everything will follow. There'll be television shows, there'll be merchandise, a lot.

41:40Keyzie:And it's just going to take one person to pull back the curtains. Yes. And then everyone will be into it again. Do you think it is PC gone mad or is it just people don't want to see your bum hole?

41:51Jase:Oh, I mean, there's absolutely a case of that. I mean, a lot of people don't like looking at other people's bum holes. That's just how it is. But some people do. And sometimes what you're going to have is a bit of friendly fire, I guess. Yes. But what do you do? Do you protect the few and deprive the majority, Kesey? Right, yeah. You know, sometimes... Me thinks not. Yeah. Yeah, right. So how are we going to start this? I think probably pull a brown eye out there somewhere and just take a photo of it and send it to Keezy, Chris Key. No, no, don't send it to Keezy. On Instagram. It's a waste of time.

42:27Pull a brown eye, video it, and then send it to MrMikeMinogue on Instagram and just tag him in it as well.

42:34Jase:I think if we send it to Hauraki Big Show.

42:35Keyzie:Yeah, yeah, send it to Hauraki Big Show. Yeah, send it to Pugs. And Pugs can go through them and sort them out. And you can just sort them out.

42:43Jase:And Jace will pick a winner. The Hauraki Big Show with Jace, Mike and Kesey. Tune in weekdays at four on Radio Hauraki.

42:51Keyzie:Red Heart. Chilli Peppers. Great stuff, eh, fellas? Yes, so good. Hey, fellas, eight grand diamond engagement ring. Are you kidding? Oh, yes, please. Yeah? Thanks, man. Done. Well, it's Mogi's birthday. I feel like he should get it. On the birthday, boy. Happy birthday. Okay, we're not singing that again.

43:13Keyzie:They wouldn't mind that What if we just give him the Diamonds on Richmond prize We give him Tamogi for his birthday Yeah I think so Well hang on you had your birthday recently We didn't give you anything So? Well you did actually You gave me a box of chips Oh that's right That someone ate That some other bastards ate Yeah right so an eight grand engagement ring That's probably fair right

43:33Jase:That seems about right to me man You know and I I feel the same way about diamond rings as Jace does about chips Absolutely.

43:39Keyzie:You're stealing them willy-nilly. Well, I wouldn't be stealing because we'd be giving it to him. You know what I'm saying? Give it to me, Gingzy. Give it to me. And I still feel bad about now that I know that you guys, you know, bought your partner's engagement rings and I never did, I feel like a bit of a cheapskate, 100%. Where'd you get that hat? Oh, it was merch from some company or rather. It's free. You stole it. Diamonds of Richmond, they have an$8 ,000 diamond engagement ring to be won. If you're keen to get yourself in the drawer, head to hodaki.co.nz And we will actually send you out a Hodaiki nudge pad, which is a knee pad designed to send a message and say, hey, about time you dropped the knee.

44:14And if you do that, you're automatically in the draw for that$8 ,000 diamond engagement ring. I can honestly say that my engagement weekend was one of the happiest weekends of my life. Wow. It was amazing. You know, because I actually made an effort, Mogi. Sure. You know, I actually, I decided that my wife, my now wife, was worth making a huge effort and, you know, It was surprising as well.

44:37Jase:Yeah. Went down to Queenstown, you know, saved up for ages for the ring, worked really hard. We went horse riding, and then when we got to this particular point in this beautiful hilly country, dropped the old knee there. The lady that was taking us on the horse ride, she snapped some photos. It was beautiful. Now we've got that photo framed in our lounge.

44:57Keyzie:Oh, that's lovely, man. That's good. Yeah, yeah, yeah. I was too busy being a backbone feeding my family and stuff. I would have liked to have done that. Oh, because you couldn't keep it in your pants, could you? Look, I'm prone to being very attracted to my wife, certainly. So because of that, you couldn't do that? Yeah. Because I've got the same issues. I just didn't have the financial resources. And she would have been appalled had I spent money on something as frivolous as that.

45:28Jase:That's right. Absolutely. What did you do? Because you could do something romantic, couldn't you? But you couldn't afford that either, eh?

45:34Keyzie:Nah. I'm not going to get into my proposal at all.

45:40Jase:Did you write her one of your dad poems?

45:43Keyzie:I've actually written her a lot of poems.

45:45Jase:No, but it was specifically an engagement one.

45:46Keyzie:Which I've noted she's kept.

45:49Jase:Yeah, as has my wife. Yeah. Written her a lot of poems as well. What about you, Keezy? Written any poems for your wife? No. Absolutely not. No, I'm not a poet. Good luck. Oh, okay. Oh, Keezy's not. Yeah, good luck, man. Oh, okay. Hey, hodaki.co.nz, get yourself in the draw for that$8 ,000 diamond engagement ring. And if you go to Diamonds on Richmond at any point in October, say that hodaki sent you, you'll get a complimentary pair of diamond earrings with every engagement ring purchase. The Hodaki Big Show, weekdays from four on Radio Hodaki.

46:19Keyzie:Yes, indeed, the Ramones there on the Radio Hodaki Big Show this Monday evening. Let's give out some advice. Meet Paddy Nibs.

46:28Jase:Sexy now. What the hell was that? Gmail.com, get in touch with the fellas. Come on, Keezy. It's a real email address, get in touch. I really worry about you guys butchering the start of that segment. You started talking about all sorts of stuff over the top of the bit you're meant to do. Yeah, that's what's concerning me. Yeah, true. It's me. Hey, this piece of advice, well, this advice question comes in from Anonymous. G'day, guys. Anonymous here. Last week I had my glasses, today I do not. Classic lost glasses scenario. My wife said she didn't touch them, but I always leave them in the car glasses slot, you know, above the old head there in the roof.

47:10I always leave them in the car glasses slot and never take them out of the car. My wife borrowed the car over the weekend, neck minute, cool reference, missing glasses. She lost her glasses about a month ago, but denies ever using my glasses while using my car. I politely inquired about the possible whereabouts of said glasses, but this led to an argument where it became apparent she has been cheating on me for the last two years and one of our children might not be mine. I have moved out and I'm now sleeping in my car. Have you seen my glasses? Cheers. Yeah. That's a classic situation, isn't it?

47:40Keyzie:Yeah, it is a classic situation. The domino effect, I call it. Yeah. You open one door and then douche, douche, douche, douche, douche. Yes. Just like dominoes, right? You always open a door and dominoes. You see, if I ever lost my pair of glasses, I would never accuse my wife of stealing them because I know that it's a can of worms I'm opening. it's a Pandora's box. And if I found out that she did steal my glasses, what else am I going to find out? You know what I mean?

48:05Jase:I find that it's never her fault. It's always I've put them somewhere. 99 times out of 100 ends the 100th time too. 100 % with no idea. I'm a shocker, so I just assume that it's me, and I'm usually right. Trouble is, my wife always assumes it's me too. Sometimes she's wrong. Not often enough. Yeah. You know? Huh?

48:24Keyzie:Funnily enough, I never misplace my glasses. You're the man, Jase, really. Well, I'm very careful, I mean, because I know how detrimental it is to my well-being to not have my glasses because I can't read stuff. Right. And so I'm very, very, you'd be hard-pressed to, in the five years that I've been wearing glasses, never lost a pair once. Wow.

48:50Jase:Holy hecka. Because you pay top dollar for your glasses as well. Totally, man. Yeah, right. Because, Mogi, you are a shocker. Yeah. Now that I know you quite well, it's like, yeah.

48:59Keyzie:Glasses, wallets, keys. What about the other day? Photos. No. The other day when that guy messaged me being like, hey, can you let Mogi left his jersey at the pub?

49:08Jase:Yeah, that's right. Now, that was a goodie. But I've been very good, actually, with my phone. I lost my phone, all my keys. Although today I went to meet some workers somewhere at the new office. Got there and there's no thing on my camera. there's no fob it's not there and I was like oh that's right I had a guy working last week and he was going to put it behind the counter at the hotel I'd go in there I'm talking to him for ages very civil so yeah they handed it in to you but again a little bit like you're asking me lots of questions here can you just look in the drawer for the key it'll be the key that's in there that's got the address on it and he wanted to keep on sort of talking about why and who and whatever anyway as the conversation progressed I remembered actually that I told the guy to take it back to his own office.

49:54Jase:And this guy would not have known what I was talking about and, in fact, it had never been at the hotel. Right. But I had to sort of act like, all right, I'm willing to just forget about it this time, but let's just try not to let it happen again. When, in fact, I'd buggered it up right from the start, couldn't remember that I'd handed it over, who I'd handed it to, or where it had gone.

50:16Keyzie:Yeah.

50:16Jase:So in that case, yeah, I guess. It could be a similar situation.

50:19Keyzie:Yeah, I was going to say you could just blame your wife.

50:22Jase:In that instance, I'm going to blame this guy's wife who's been cheating on him. She's a shocker, man. The Hauraki Big Show with Jace, Mike and Kesey. Tune in weekdays at four on Radio Hauraki.

50:43Keyzie:Oh, guys. There you go, you mad bastards. That's a Monday show. Just how many sleeps? four sleeps still. Four sleeps, man.

50:53Jase:Yeah, but three shows. Yeah. Well done, Chase. Nice, man. That's good from you, brother. And then we're in Fiji is what we're referring to. Yes. Yeah.

51:01Keyzie:Hey, what is the podcast outro clip today, Keezy? Oh, good question, man. Well, it tackles a topic that we've covered a wee bit here on the show. Oh, yeah. The difference between a moon and a brown eye.

51:14Jase:That is the difference between a moon and a brown eye because you want to show the brown eye. We did the full spread like you, Mody. The brown eye of Sauron. Yeah, but you did that in private though, didn't you?

51:25Keyzie:Yeah, just checking out my own anus. It was more of a joke about... What was it a joke about, Gesey? Oh, mate, I don't even remember. The weird thing about that podcast is, you know, you just forget straight away. You do. You do. Absolutely. You do. Because I think the first half of the podcast was relatively tame and then we got all fired up about brown eyes. As you do. Well, I don't know if you do. Hey, Mogie. As you guys do. What are your plans tonight?

51:54Jase:I haven't really got any. My brother-in-law has just arrived today from Canada. Uh-oh. So he's back. And I don't know, there'll be some kind of a cake because my daughter wants one more than I do. Yes. And yeah, that'll be about it. Man, off to bed. Do some work? Hmm. Not tonight. Good on you, man. What about you? What are you having for dinner, Keezy? I'm making a Thai larb using pork mints. My wife's - Left over. Yeah. From your trough on Saturday. That's right. Trough of Porkmans. My wife's got touch training tonight. Oh, is she playing touch? Yeah. They heard her new, because she started working a new company, and they've got a touch team.

52:30They're shocking, Bast. So I've heard. So she's got training tonight, and they're playing their first game next week, I think. Right, man. What is touch training? Just touching each other? Yeah, touch rugby. Passing the ball around. Oh, right. Yeah, yeah, yeah. What are you doing tonight, Jase?

52:45Keyzie:Just chilling out, man. You know, maybe packing up a bit more stuff. Nah, that's not true. I don't do that at all. No, you've got to watch TV and eat dinner. Yeah, probably. And you go to bed. I don't know what's for dinner, though. That's concerning me. Why don't you text it through to 3483. Yes. And I'll read it tomorrow night on what's on the dinner. Okay, I will. Okay. Are you going to wrap us up? Yeah, man. Bye.