In short
“Acting 101” outro—how to fake believable laughs, drunkenness, and sexual arousal on camera, plus a long banter segment about weekend drinking, darts, smoking, and pub culture.
Guests
No specific guests are introduced; it’s a casual conversation among hosts/regulars (names like Moggy, Keezy, Jason/Jase, and Jerry & Mikey Havoc are mentioned).
Key claims
Genuine laughter is hard to perform; drunk actors must pretend they’re not drunk; faking arousal in love scenes requires “O-face”/“ecstasy face” timing and eye contact.
Notable examples
Steve Coogan as Alan Partridge (heard making love); “kumfasa/cum face” jokes attributed to Jerry and Mikey Havoc.
Written by AI. May contain mistakes. Listen to the episode to check what was said.
Chapters
Tap a time to open that second in VOThe Challenge of Genuine Laughter
0:15 to 0:35
Discussion about the difficulty of portraying genuine laughter while acting.
“Did someone just tell you a joke, Moggy?”
Acting Drunk and Faking Emotion
0:35 to 1:31
Exploration of the challenges actors face when portraying drunkenness and arousal.
“Whenever you speak Hey come on man That's shocking man I was told It's like crying I'm pretty good at that I can cry Is it crying?”
Humorous Observations on Love Scenes
1:31 to 3:05
Lighthearted banter about the absurdities of love scenes and their performances.
“Another really difficult thing to do is faking arousal.”
Weekend Recap: Fun and Friends
3:05 to 4:38
Sharing stories about their weekends, including gigs and friends.
“I'm trying to think of the really funny Steve Coogan when he's playing Alan Partridge, and you can only hear him making love.”
The Trials of Planning Around Weather
4:38 to 6:00
Conversations about how bad weather affected their weekend plans.
“So that immediately made me feel grateful.”
Pub Tales and Smoky Nights
6:00 to 7:50
Recollections of experiences at various pubs and the ambiance they offer.
“I'm not doing it because it's like, ooh, minty.”
The Struggle with Smoking and Addiction
7:50 to 10:05
Dialogue about the challenges of smoking, addiction, and personal reflections.
“It's no good when people you're hanging out with are texting your missus because they want you out of the group.”
Transcript
Automatic transcript. May contain errors.0:00For all you mad bastards loving the Big Show podcast, get up even closer on Instagram, YouTube and TikTok or Raw Dogget 4 to 7 every weekday on Radio Horeke.
0:15Keyzie:Yeah man. Jesus. Did someone just tell you a joke, Moggy? That's my genuine laugh when I'm acting. Oh right Yeah I tell you Keezy This is one thing That's really hard to do When you're acting Is doing a genuine laugh
0:31Mike Minogue:Oh really I do it every day Whenever you speak
0:37Keyzie:Hey come on man That's shocking man I was told It's like crying I'm pretty good at that I can cry Is it crying?
0:44Mike Minogue:I get But like the laugh Isn't it just you breathe out Or you're like See That's pretty good
0:50Keyzie:Oh my god You do do that Mogi, you're so funny, man. You do do that to me every day. Yeah, if you say you're so funny, man, at the end of it, that's what sells it. Yeah, yeah. It's not a laugh so much as a, oh, you're a cracker. So good. It depends what I'm laughing at.
1:03Mike Minogue:You're a funny SOB. If the thing's actually funny, all you need is like a spark to get your roaring flame going.
1:10Keyzie:And another really difficult thing to do when you're acting is being drunk. People always overplay it, Mogi. Yeah, well, the thing about drunk people, Jason, we've talked about this on this podcast probably 18 times. is drunk people try and pretend they're not drunk. Yes. So that's what you've got to do. But drunk actors pretend that they are drunk. So you've got to pretend you're not. That's quite hard. Another really difficult thing to do is faking arousal.
1:35Mike Minogue:What do you mean faking arousal?
1:36Keyzie:Well, you know, if you're in a love scene. Pretending you're revved up. Just lose yourself in the moment, Jase. Just get into it, brother. Give me your ecstasy face, Keezy. No. Your O face. Give me your I'm nearly there face. I can't go from zero to O-face like that, okay?
1:53Mike Minogue:It takes me a long time. Keezy, you've got to do your O-face, man. What's your O-face, Moggy? Oh, God. Oh, God. Can I make sure that I'm locking eyes? Yeah.
2:09That's good eating. Yeah. Do you give the warning, Keezy? Do you give the warning to cross the bow? I give a... I'm gonna Here it goes Old Gizzy
2:24Mike Minogue:See he's the one that makes it filthy Have you noticed that? That was Jason that said show us your O face Yeah but it's the warning
2:32Keyzie:No I said show us your ecstasy face Show us your downstairs Not your O face What's your O face? What do they call it? It's a face A kumfasa
2:44Mike Minogue:Your kumfasa face Oh kumfasa cum face Yeah That was from Jerry and Mikey Havoc. Oh, really? They invented that, yeah. Oh, wow.
2:53Keyzie:I go more for the, oh, no, oh, no. Oh, sin. Yeah, it feels like sin coming out, doesn't it? I'm doing it again. And then I curl up in shame. Oh, another warning. Yeah. I'm going straight to hell for that.
3:09Mike Minogue:I'm trying to think of the really funny Steve Coogan when he's playing Alan Partridge, and you can only hear him making love. Yes. I forget the words that he says. He's like, oh, Susan, you certainly know your onions. That's right. And it's like, fuck, what is it? Permission to board or something? But I can't remember what he says at the end of it. It's very funny. Yeah.
3:29Keyzie:Yes, I need to find that. I might have a look at that tonight, actually. Good weekend, fellas.
3:33Mike Minogue:No, I don't want. I just go for it. Good on you, man. Surprise. Yeah, it was a really good weekend. Caught up with some mates. Bloody good catch up. It was a good one, actually. You got steamed. No, I didn't. I was in bed at eight. I stopped drinking about 7 p.m. Oh, wow. Met up with my mates about 2 or 3. Oh, yeah. So it was good because they went to a gig, you see. And you had no choice but to. And then my mate, well, it was like, how good is this? They're going to go to a gig. I get to go to bed. And then my mate texted me at 2.30 in the morning when the gig was finished, Rufus Thussault. He said, you coming out, man?
4:11Yeah, I was just getting smoked for like seven hours by myself. I was asleep, obviously. And then this morning I was like, oh, man, that sleep was quick. And my missus said, not as quick as it would have been for Toddy, our mate. Yeah. You know when you've had that huge night on Saturday and then you just crawl your way to bed on Sunday? Yes. That sleep, it just happens in a heart. You're like, oh, fuck.
4:32Mike Minogue:And then your alarm goes off and you've got an early flight or something like that. Well, yeah, I think he had to go home last night. Yeah, right. Yeah. Fuck that. Yeah, not good. So that immediately made me feel grateful. But what a beautiful day it was.
4:45Keyzie:It was madness yesterday. What was yesterday? It fucking pissed him. Oh, yeah, that's right. It was mad crazy. Yeah, mad crazy. I had all these fucking plans, but could I do them? No, I could not.
4:56Mike Minogue:So you make plans and then you look at the weather.
4:58Keyzie:Nice weather if you're a duck. Well, totally. Taking a shit in your lounge, what he jizzbot. So, yeah, that foiled my plans. Foiled again. But, you know, and you had a big weekend too, Keezy.
5:11Mike Minogue:How's that supposed to mean?
5:12Keyzie:I'm just so, you were saying you didn't land the plane until late Sunday afternoon.
5:17Mike Minogue:Oh, did I say that? No, World Series of Kiwi Pong was great. We started drinking at 11am, which was great. Yeah. Competition was finished by, I don't even know, like maybe seven, eight. Not even that late, to be honest. That's pretty late. Then we went to a pub out west near our houses. How long does the game of that take? How long does the game of beer pong take, roughly? Oh, less than five minutes. Oh, really? Yeah. How many fucking, what did you say? 10 cups on the other side. Oh, what time did it start? We started at lunchtime. 12 till 7. To be honest, man, I don't know what time it was. Sure.
5:47Mike Minogue:The sun was out. The sun was out. We were smoking darts in the sun. I remember that. Menthols. Menthols. That's a disgrace. Do you know what's weird is I prefer them. Yeah, you don't mind it when you're younger. And also I'm smoking just because everyone else is smoking. I'm not doing it because it's like, ooh, minty. Well, that's how it starts, Keezy. Can I put it to you that way? Yeah. That's how it starts, brother. The Hauraki Big Show, weekdays from four on Radio Hauraki.
6:15Keyzie:Johnny, who we had in here the other day Johnny Braff loved to smoke, not cigarettes but used to give people shit about smoking cigarettes and now he pounds them like a bastard and he did like you did he just started having the occasional one and now he loves them they get your claws in you man do you reckon I want to be addicted to smoking? it's every possibility I've got a mate, a very good mate. He started when he was about 30, at your age, 34. 33, 34 he was. And now he's a shocker on the bastards. So how do you get that late? Another mate who started when he was 27.
6:52Mike Minogue:Maybe I just rip into it now then. Yeah. Yeah, maybe.
6:55Keyzie:Hey, what pub did you go to out west?
6:58Mike Minogue:It's a shit pub, to be honest. I don't even want to name it. Okay. There's no good pubs out west. No, there isn't. They suck.
7:04Keyzie:They really do. Fuck, they suck. They're the most depressing pubs in the world out west.
7:08Mike Minogue:This particular pub is the one that we went to for a really bad comedy show earlier in the year. Oh, yeah. So as soon as I walked in, the stink from that night was still in the air. Right, right. Yeah, I'm not into it. No vibe, just really expensive shit drinks. Yeah, right. Not good, but it was close to home. That's good. And you never end up on the piss close to, we never go west. Yeah, that's true. That's a bonus. Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. And then it turns out a glass might have been smashed on the ground and then Minaya's missus took a photo of it and then sent it to my missus who was in bed saying, come get your mans, he's making a mess.
7:41Mike Minogue:And then my wife called me and was like, I'm coming to pick you up. And I was like, what? Why are you going to pick me up? I'm going to get a lift home soon with Isaac. And she's like, okay, are you sure you're all good? I was like, yeah. Far out. It's no good when people you're hanging out with are texting your missus because they want you out of the group. I know. There's a hell of a stitch up. No, no, she was joking. We're going to have to put that on the old show. She was joking though. She was definitely joking. It was more of a come check out what your man's doing.
8:08Keyzie:There used to be a pub in Glen Eden, which was right in the sort of throng of shops, you know, the little shop. I didn't even call it a shopping centre.
8:18Mike Minogue:Is that by the little railway station and stuff? The railway station. The railway? Yeah, it is. There's now a Malaysian restaurant in that railway station.
8:26Keyzie:Yeah, but across the road from there. Across the road from there, yeah, I know. And it was the fucking most heinous pub.
8:31Mike Minogue:Well, that little area is pretty weird.
8:33Keyzie:You go in there and you've got to mind your P's and Q's or you get your head smacked in.
Read the full transcript
8:38Mike Minogue:See, I'd rather that pub to the one that I was at. Right. Because ours is like a fancy, really expensive bistro that's just not very vibey. It sucks. Yeah, yeah. I just want like a fucking outdoor area. You should open mine keys.
8:50Keyzie:In my university days, the dirtier, the pub, the better for me. You know, I like old fellas with their transistor radios just listening to that. In the pub. In the pub, nursing a beer for four hours. That's my kind of set-up, you know? Puking into the urinal because they're chronic alcoholics. Yes, that sort of thing. I mean, that's great shit. Ray used to do that down at the Cobb in Levin, down at Hector's. Hector's sat off the Cobb, and he'd turn up there every day, the ruddy-faced fowler he was, but he'd get a couple of beers, and after that he'd puke, you know, sort of early 60s. Yeah. And then sort of be pretty much blind drunk from that point on.
9:29After a couple of beers? Alcoholic, when you're a shock and alcoholic like that. Wow. Your body gets really good at being an alcoholic. Yes. Yeah.
9:36Mike Minogue:Fuck, that sounds so fun, man. He'd just have his chunder. He was loving it. Maybe I should just do that and get on the darts, man. I distinctly remember walking in there because we'd go and have a beer at lunch at school and going in there and he was puking up into the urinal and just going, oh, man. That'll be me in 10 years.
9:52Keyzie:Yeah, in 10 years. How good.
9:54Mike Minogue:If anyone's listening to this in 10 years' time and it's a well-documented thing that I've gone downhill and I'm a raging alcoholic addicted to it. And on the drugs and darts. Ciggies, yeah.
10:04Keyzie:On the men foes.
10:05Mike Minogue:Can you just play this audio back to me? Yeah. Maybe it'll scare me straight. Yeah. I mean, I don't think that'll happen. I'll probably be like a multi-man. Well, you don't think it's possible that you get addicted to cigarettes, man. Well, I just, like, even right now, if you had cigarettes, I would say no. No, that's how it starts. Well, what do you mean that's how it starts? That's how it starts. You start off on the piss having darts. But every time I do it, after I have a dart, it's not like, yeah, that was mean. It's like, I just hit a dart. Everyone else seemed to love it. How does your wife feel about it?
10:32Keyzie:that you have darts?
10:33Mike Minogue:Once upon a time, yes. But as of the last couple of years, she's really mellowed out. Right. She just goes, oh, you reek of darts. I think that's a better thing because when my missus goes, you know, you've got to give up smoking, I'm like, I'll double down. But if she's fine with it, then I'm like, I've got to give up smoking, man. Yeah. Fuck. See, if my missus hated it, which I know she kind of does, but I definitely wouldn't. Right. Or I'd massively hide it. One of the things that actually used to,
10:59Keyzie:nearly stopped me from smoking, which I have, was that my wife would come outside and have a couple of puffs. Yeah. And I was like, no, I shouldn't. This is not cool. Yeah, what am I doing? I'm making her smoke now. She's very strong, isn't she? It wasn't that you didn't want to spend time with her. She just gave it up like that without a second glance. Yeah. Couldn't believe it. Mind you, she had a baby in her belly.
11:27Mike Minogue:Hey, listen to the big show.
11:28Keyzie:I mean, maybe if I had a baby in my belly, I'd just go, yeah, okay. Four to seven weekdays. I mean, if someone impregnated me.
11:34Mike Minogue:Radio Horaki. Never listen.
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Featuring Jason Hoyte, Mike Minogue, and Keyzie, "The Big Show" drive you home weekdays from 4pm on Radio Hauraki.
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