In short
A comedic, profanity-laced “Outro” episode/disclaimer for The Hauraki Big Show, mixing sexual banter (“eating ass,” “unbidden erection”) with Easter talk (Easter eggs, egg hunts, expensive eggs) and everyday grumpiness/work routines.
Guests
No guests appear; it’s the hosts Keyzie and Mogi (plus Jase mentioned as a co-host/producer).
Guest backgrounds
Not formally profiled; they’re radio personalities on The Hauraki Big Show (weekday 4–7 on Radio Hauraki).
Key claims
They warn parents not to play it for little kids; they discuss betting losses/wagers and claim “horniness” and morning erections; they argue about which Easter eggs are best (marshmallow vs cream/ooze).
Notable examples
Easter eggs left on a table; a clue frozen in ice and chiseled out; rabbit-footprint clue trail; “half-price sushi” sign-off.
Written by AI. May contain mistakes. Listen to the episode to check what was said.
Chapters
Tap a time to open that second in VOEaster Egg Surprise
0:24 to 1:10
Discussion about Easter eggs and their consumption.
“For all you mad bastards loving the Big Show podcast, Get up even closer on Instagram, YouTube and TikTok.”
Sweet Treats Debate
1:10 to 2:32
The hosts debate their preferences for different types of chocolate eggs.
“Just, this is coming from a man, remember, Mogi?”
Celibacy and Personal Choices
2:32 to 3:25
Mogi discusses the idea of being celibate for a while.
“I think I might be celibate for a while.”
Daily Life and Walking to Work
3:25 to 4:30
The hosts share insights about their day and the benefits of walking.
“I was just thinking of our mates over in Ireland listening to this.”
Easter Plans and Family Traditions
4:30 to 7:44
A discussion about Easter plans and unique family traditions.
“Usually it's Mogi that leads off this sort of shit.”
Closing Banter and Bets
7:44 to 9:39
The hosts engage in humorous banter about bets and the podcast.
“And he'd write them little booklets as well.”
Transcript
Automatic transcript. May contain errors.0:00Mike Minogue:Yeah, hi there. Keyzie here. Just a warning. Just a warning that... Keyzie over there. Mogey. You're the man. Just a warning that this is a disclaimer. A disclaimer ahead of this week's episode of the podcast. Outro becomes pretty apparent pretty quick. Why? We're shocking bastards. Just with little kids and that. Just maybe don't play it out loud to little kids. Yeah. Something's on the menu. Enjoy.
0:24Keyzie:For all you mad bastards loving the Big Show podcast, Get up even closer on Instagram, YouTube and TikTok. Or Raw Dog It. Four to seven every weekday on Radio Horeke. And you are mad bastards for loving it. Backbone. Someone left a, I think it was Kate, very kindly left Easter eggs. Because she knew you'd fire up. And you did. That was crazy. First thing I've eaten today. Except for all of that ass. Oh, I ate some ass. Don't you worry about that.
0:59Mike Minogue:No, you didn't.
1:01Keyzie:How much do you want to bet, Keezy? He's a horned dog. 20 bucks? He's still going eights and nines. Really?
1:06Mike Minogue:Oh, yeah. Horniness-wise. So you were eating asses? Okay, disclaimer. No, no. I've just realised.
1:12Keyzie:Just, this is coming from a man, remember, Mogi? He lost 1 ,500 bucks on his last bets. Yeah, this guy. That guy. You want to bet 20 bucks, Keezy? Yes. I've got picks to prove it. Yeah, 100%. It's worth paying 20 bucks to see the pick.
1:26Mike Minogue:100 % to what you took selfies while you were eating some ass. This is bullshit, man.
1:33Keyzie:Yummy egg, though? Yeah, it is pretty good, actually. You like that?
1:36Mike Minogue:I don't like marshmallow eggs. I don't mind them.
1:39Keyzie:I'll try this one. I quite like the ones that ooze as well. Ooze what? Like a, I don't know. Like a cream egg. Yeah, like a cream egg. I hate that. I've always hated cream eggs. God, you're hard to please, man. I like everything else. Do you like the marshmallow ones? I love the marshmallow ones. What about the ones that are just like casing?
2:00Mike Minogue:Just hollow.
2:01Keyzie:You know, hollow. Just chocolate? Yeah. As long as it's milk chocolate. The question I guess then is do I like chocolate? Yes. Yes. You know what are the best ones? But you don't like chocolate that oozes. I don't like, well, I don't know what that shit is. It's just sugar, man. Sugar, man. Sugar, man. It's just a syrup of some description.
2:18Mike Minogue:The problem with a cream egg is it is yummy, but it's too big and there's too much filling. It's fucking intense. It's gross, yeah. If it was a small.
2:24Keyzie:It's a food for children. Actually, you're right. I don't like cream eggs either.
2:28Mike Minogue:Fuck your heart to please me. Yeah, I totally am, eh? But you eat ass, though. I'll eat ass. All day. It won't take selfies on the day. He's got an R in his ass as well. Arcs. I'm eating ass. He's eating ass. Arcs.
2:38Keyzie:I think I might. Fuck. Girls. You know what I think? I think I might be celibate for a while. A while longer, you mean? I think I might be celibate for a while, fellas. Your wife will be stoked. You know, let's say a month. Is it her birthday or something? Let's give it a month. A month. That's not celibate. That's standee. That's standee, man. Is it standee in your house, Gizzi? That's not standee. Nah, it's not, man. It's way far from standee. Yeah, yeah. It's the opposite of whatever that is. Eyes to the front, you two, by the way. Far out.
3:09Mike Minogue:So why are you going to be celibate? What's this? Because you've already deprived yourself of everything you like.
3:14Keyzie:It's just a good way to, you know, get energy into your body. You don't want to be.
3:20Mike Minogue:Nervous, horny energy. That's why we want him walking in here every day Fucking When is the last time you had an unbidden erection What did you just bought This morning Unbidden yeah
3:32Keyzie:I mean I woke up with one Where was it in your mouth
3:37Mike Minogue:Whose was it Definite disclaimer on this one
3:44Keyzie:It's Something that Plagues me some mornings And I have to pull the bloody thing out again I'm picturing that. I'm already J-Wake going up. It's the downside of... What the hell is that? Yeah. Of having a massive fatos.
4:02Mike Minogue:Oh, no, you're all good, man.
4:03Keyzie:I was just thinking of our mates over in Ireland listening to this.
4:07Mike Minogue:Look, we can't picture people on the other side of the world listening to this. They don't like this kind of chick.
4:12Keyzie:Sinead hates this. Really? Understandably. I apologise, Sinead.
4:17Mike Minogue:Really?
4:18Keyzie:Yeah, personally, I do.
4:19Mike Minogue:You literally started it by saying you're eating ass.
4:22Keyzie:Did I say that specifically? I'm pretty sure. You said it and then I said I did do that. You're both a couple of shockers, I can tell you that. Yeah, it's me and Jason, definitely not Mogi. Usually it's Mogi that leads off this sort of shit.
4:34Mike Minogue:The Hauraki Big Show, weekdays from four on Radio Hauraki. The Hauraki Big Show podcast.
4:42Keyzie:Now, let's have a nice, clean... Okay, let's tighten it up here, fellas. Righto.
4:47Mike Minogue:How was your day? Ka poi. Do you eat any ass? Yeah, boy.
4:53Keyzie:Not today.
4:54Mike Minogue:Yeah. Not today feels.
4:56Keyzie:My day was annoying. Oh, here we go.
4:58Mike Minogue:I can tell you're in like a, I've had an annoying day mood. Yeah. You came in here a bit snippy.
5:03Keyzie:I wasn't snippy.
5:05Mike Minogue:And just quickly, just to paint a picture for the audience, there is a big Easter egg on the table out there. Jase came in, immediately started opening it. Big, big, in a box. Huge. Yeah. Jase immediately started opening it, and I said, no, don't open it. That's for brekkie. They're going to try to eat the whole thing tomorrow. Content toties started stressing out. Yeah, and then Jase, because he just walks in entitled to any food he sees, and then he got a bit snippy about that and was like, where's our chocolate? That's right.
5:30Keyzie:One of the advantages I have, though, if I'm feeling a bit agitato and feeling a bit grumpy, I do get to walk to work, and that's a good thing. Fuck, it works, eh? It does work, because it's amazing how when you walk, you just clear your head out a bit. Did you drive today? No. Actually, on that, I need to move my car, I've realised. I haven't moved it for a good few days. A good few days or longer than that? A few days.
Read the full transcript
5:58Mike Minogue:And the work car park, why is that? I just feel like... It needs to go around the block. Yeah. You need to give it a run.
6:05Keyzie:Well, I gave it a run on the weekend, but they might go, whose car is this, by the way? Oh, no, you're fine. And I'll have to admit. Dude, it's your car park. True. You own it. Fuck them, man. Yeah, no, you're sweet. You just need to run the battery, babe. Yeah, man. You'll be fine. I'm a good egg. Yeah, you're a good egg too, Hoardy J.
6:22Mike Minogue:You are a good egg, Hoardy J, man. No matter what everyone says. You're a fucking good egg. Look at you sucking it hard on the mic. Have you guys got any Easter plans? No, I don't. Well, my mum's here, so that'll be good. That's right, yeah. And I've been reminded that I'm going to need to do an egg shop tomorrow for my daughter. Apparently eggs are really expensive now. My wife puts on a pretty amazing – we don't buy them any. And then we just get little ones. Because you end up with a million eggs. Who's eaten them? Her? I don't think so. Nah, there's too many. Yeah. Too many eggs. But the wife does a really great egg hunt.
6:58The stuff you never got when you were a kid. Yeah. And also I'm a boy. My wife does. I don't know if you guys have noticed.
7:03Mike Minogue:Her family are big on that shit too. Like writing clues and burying them. Yeah, dude. I know we never had that. You just got handed a fucking hatful and that was your lot. Yeah, yeah. Her mum froze a clue in a block of ice. Wow. And they had to like chisel away at it to get it out. That's good, man. Yeah, things like that. And so the missus there has been doing that. She does that. And also creates footprints, rabbit footprints. Ah, that's cute. That goes all around to the different spots. So as soon as you see, imagine a two-year-old, Jase having a two-year-old in the house, finding that is absolutely the cutest thing in the world.
7:35She does it hungover. She does it hungover. I don't. I lie on the couch.
7:40Keyzie:Spike Milligan used to be famous for doing that with his kids. And he'd write them little booklets as well. Yeah, right. The tiny writing. That's what Zada is. Not the book list, but the tiny writing. And I think it's predominantly a wife thing too, because my wife was like that. She always put a lot of effort into it. She cared about the kids. And you were similarly hungover? Yeah, probably. Yeah. It's a nice idea, but my hand's shaking too much. But re the Easter break, we're having dinner with my wife's sister and her partner on Saturday. Tell me about them. I'm really looking forward to hanging out with my wife for four days, to be honest, because we've kind of been missing each other a lot, you know, because she's been doing the play and it's like, I feel like we haven't.
8:27Mike Minogue:She wouldn't have been missing you though, right?
8:28Keyzie:No, she is gutted that it's over and that she has to come back. Yeah, that's good. So she's pumped about it. But it's also, you know, because it went on for about three or four weeks, this play, and she hasn't had the full city experience. She has experienced the city and she loves it, but because she keeps having to go out west again, it kind of feels like she hadn't left home in a weird way.
8:52Mike Minogue:So that'll be good. So you guys are going to spend the entire weekend just being city slickers?
8:57Keyzie:Yeah, doing that.
8:58Mike Minogue:Can you see Jason? He was prepared for me to say something really bad. He doesn't think much of you, Keezy. No, he doesn't.
9:06Keyzie:I knew what you were going to say. What? And we'll probably do that as well. you filthy bastard so you thought I was going to say
9:13Mike Minogue:you're going to spend the weekend shagging
9:15Keyzie:is that what you thought I was going to say no that's not what I specifically thought you were saying
9:20Mike Minogue:something to do with the disclaimer at the start of this podcast correct why would I say that that would be grim you do think little of me don't you
9:30Keyzie:and I would not be doing that by the way that's disgusting
9:35Mike Minogue:yeah right but we shook on it that you did do that this morning 20 bucks 20 Huck. 20 Huck, man. I get to see the picks. That's the best bet ever, man. Who wants to get in on this pot? Great stuff, man. Okay, fine. I'll play the music. We've got to go.
9:53Keyzie:Half-price sushi. All right. Yeah, I do.
9:55Mike Minogue:Goodbye. You go, fellas. I'll tidy things up. Hey, listen to The Big Show. Four to seven weekdays. Radio Hauraki. Good listening.
10:15Mike Minogue:I'm just going to leave the music playing for a little bit longer just to really get to that 10 minute mark there.
10:27Mike Minogue:Oh yeah, there we go.
10:31Mike Minogue:And see you later.
From the publisher
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Featuring Jason Hoyte, Mike Minogue, and Keyzie, "The Big Show" drive you home weekdays from 4pm on Radio Hauraki.
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