OUTRO: Ass Poisoning

0:00For all you mad bastards loving the Big Show podcast, get up even closer on Instagram, YouTube and TikTok or Raw Doggy. 4 to 7 every weekday on Radio Horeke. Oh, g'day fellas. Backbones. Hello. Does this work? Is this working? Yeah. Just means I can't hear myself, eh?

0:23Keyzie:Are you still having technical issues, Doggy? Well, I've been moved. Oh, Jesus there. Yes. so Jerry's obviously had the same issue. Yeah. How's it going, fellas? Yeah, good, thanks. High five, Keezy, man.

0:36Mike Minogue:Ah, up top, brother. Who was that dude that just pointed at me?

0:40Keyzie:I'm fucking reeking.

0:41Mike Minogue:Why? This is the second day in a row you've come and reeking.

0:43Keyzie:Yeah, I know. Is that because you're - No deodorant. Oh, what? Is that a conscious thing? Well, generally I don't need it, but I'm starting to stink. Right. I'm recording all this on my text to my wife.

0:54Mike Minogue:Oh, wow, so you're going to send this to her? Yeah, she's going to be loving it.

0:57Keyzie:Oh, Moggy's reeking. But you're not going to the gym or anything like that. Fuck no. You're walking though. What do I do today? I took one of the world's most, probably one of the most humiliating rides I've ever taken on a lime scooter. I had to get in for a meeting today at the office. Was it a sit down one? Yeah. Yeah, boys. But I actually think that they're not as bad as the stand up one. I think the stand up ones are more humiliating. The problem I had was this one was running on practically zero battery. So it was only marginally faster than somebody walking. Yes. And I had to go the long way around where you go fishing under the bridge.

1:38Oh, yeah. Down the hill, down past where you go fishing under the bridge, and it took a long time. Along the marina there. Yeah, and I was like, is it because I'm in a slow-go zone? It's a low-speed zone there. So that's what I thought. Yeah. And I thought, but this is particularly slow. Hang on, man. Hang on, man. He's halfway through talking, man. I'm just doing this. I was just wanting to clarify. Come on, TC. Come on, man. And so then I pulled it over, and then I jumped on another one. Fuck, I was flying, mate. I was actually flying on a stand-up one. But it was humiliating.

2:15Mike Minogue:Yes. Do you think it takes away when you arrive at the meeting, reeking, and you hop off a lime scooter? Absolutely reeking. Well, I parked a bit further away, so that no one will see me. But you still had the lime helmet on, you were saying. I have the helmet on. I never take the helmet off.

2:29Keyzie:My question was going to be, is there areas where Lime scooters go slower because you're not allowed? What, they automatically just need restricted areas? Right, okay. So the CBD would be an example because there's a lot of pedestrians around. Yes. How much are you paying for one of those? Well, that today cost me about$8.50, which wasn't happy because that's about as much as an Uber. Yeah. But I got humiliated. so that didn't seem fair

2:57Mike Minogue:more fun than an Uber though I mean well I tell you speaking of Reakin the last few Ubers I've had fucking Reakin it was like old Mogey had been driving them for a year so you never wear deodorant ever oh not ever but certainly not every day I don't like the health oh right they're putting what is it aluminum aluminum yeah so that was doing the news cycle probably 10 or 15 years ago so that's when I stopped using it the trouble is you then get on the stuff that hasn't got that in it. Yeah. And you just end up with a swampy pit and reeking. So I just don't use it as much. I've never been a big smeller, but I'm obviously, the only time I was really reeking was when I was having miso soup every day.

3:38And that was coming out of my pores and I was fucking honking.

3:41Keyzie:When I had my pussy armpit, I didn't. You guys are gross. I didn't, you know, use it there. Obviously, I'm not going to put deodorant on a massive, Sissy, pussy, lump

3:53Mike Minogue:Yeah, totally man Can I guess Roll on

3:59Keyzie:Well, I actually No, I actually very kesey You actually very kesey I sometimes have a spray, sometimes a roll on

4:08Mike Minogue:Right, depending on what you're into You're rich Depending on what was on special that week

4:12Keyzie:Yeah, depending on what's on special

4:14Mike Minogue:Yeah, nice

4:14Keyzie:I don't particularly I try not to get the aerosol ones Because they're not good for the environment That's true, man So I try to avoid those. It's your CFCs. Or I get a stick, you know, like a stick.

4:27Mike Minogue:I was picturing like just a stick from the ground.

4:29Keyzie:Yeah, and I just scrape my armpits.

4:33Mike Minogue:Is aerosol can, is that bad for the environment? Yes. Well, it used to definitely be. I don't know how bad it is now. It doesn't seem like it could be good. There's a hole in the ozone layer, Casey. Do you not hear about it? But that was from cows ripping ass, wasn't it? No, that was directly from aerosols, and it created the hole in the ozone layer, and the whole world agreed. This is the world we're living in back there. The whole world agreed we're going to stop using that, the CFC, so they got rid of it. The whole world banned them. Wow. And then the ozone layer healed up. It is back, apparently.

5:01Mike Minogue:Apparently, it's all G. The Hauraki Big Show, weekdays from four on Radio Hauraki. The Hauraki Big Show podcast.

5:11Keyzie:During COVID, there was a massive drop in all the environmental disasters going on. Is that because people weren't out on the streets? Yeah, or people weren't going anywhere. So they weren't putting on deodorant. They weren't putting on deodorant because they didn't need to because they were just in their own home, you know, just wallowing in their own films. What were they doing there? And they weren't driving and everything just went do-do. It was a great time. It was. We should go back to that. I think we should. I would like a pandemic to wipe out six billion people. You reckon? Yeah. Nobody I know.

5:45Some people I know, just so it's a little bit more fair, but I get to choose them. Oh, yeah? Yeah. You guys are gone.

5:52Keyzie:What about pugs? I forgot to tell you guys, actually. Pugs is first. We were talking of ripping ass there and cows and stuff. I made French onion soup over the weekend. Oh, yeah. Absolute shocker. Did you make that? Yeah, I made it. I made a proper French onion. It was fucking good. Before we get to the fact that you reek, are you baking the onion in the oven first to make that soup? Yes, I am, actually. I like the sound of a French onion soup. What makes it French, though? I don't know. You've just got to get it. Un, deux, trois, quatre, cinq, sept, neuf, dix.

6:31Mike Minogue:So you just sort of say racist stuff at it. The key is a quality beef stock.

6:37Keyzie:Is it? Yes.

6:38Mike Minogue:See, now, Jase, I've had French onion soup in Paris. Yeah, in France. And I bet it wasn't anything like that fart culture you were making. He calls it fart juice. Oh, is it fart juice?

6:48Keyzie:Seriously, I was ripping ass all Sunday. But how did you go with it? Because you don't like farting in front of your wife. Well, I go to another room. The fart room? Yeah, well, I vary it. Like, she might move, and then I can rip ass in the lounge.

7:02Mike Minogue:Because I was under the impression you had, like, a three-bedroom house, and so your daughter's got a room, you've got a room, and then there's the fart room. The fart room. For ripping ass.

7:10Keyzie:No, I don't have a specific – we don't really have the space for that. Right. For a specific fart room. What about just out in the foyer? Well, you know, because then you run the risk of people coming out of their apartments and you're ripping ass in the corridor. And there's already issues there. And they're like, what are you doing?

7:26Mike Minogue:I just had French onion soup.

7:28Keyzie:And ripping ass. Was it nice though? It was very good. Best in the world? Well, I don't know. I haven't had much French onion soup. No. You know, and a nice bread toasted with a bit of Dijon mustard and a Gruyere cheese grill.

7:44Mike Minogue:And did that bread, did you get that bread or did Keezy bring that around for you? No, I got that bread.

7:49Keyzie:It's been a while since you've been around, Keezy.

7:52Mike Minogue:Yeah, six out of ten, I just flashback.

7:54Keyzie:I bet it was delicious.

7:55Mike Minogue:I would love French onion soup.