OUTRO: Bad Hair Day

0:00Keyzie:For all you mad bastards loving the Big Show podcast, get up even closer on Instagram, YouTube and TikTok or Raw Doggy. 4 to 7 every weekday on Radio Horakia.

0:19Keyzie:I was busting my balls to get in here at 3 o 'clock. Yeah. And you'll recall we had a show meeting the other day because Hoodie J was 4 minutes late. for something.

0:30Mike Minogue:Yeah, it was bad. It was bad.

0:32Keyzie:I get in here, huffing and puffing, exhausted. Gasped. Making sure that I got here on time. Yeah. Was anyone here, Mogi? I don't know. No. No, there wasn't anyone here. I don't know, I wasn't here.

0:44Mike Minogue:Yeah, I wasn't here. Keezy turned up at like 10 past.

0:47Keyzie:Are you kidding? You turned up at about 13 past. I mean, Pugs was here. What's that about, man?

0:53Mike Minogue:Sorry, Jase, I was getting a haircut. Sorry, mate, I was having a meeting with our bosses. about this kind of behaviour. Exactly this kind of thing. Yeah, being like for meetings. Flying off the handle. Yeah, so that's where I was. Okay. We appreciate you hustling in and barely making it. Well, I mean, it's fine.

1:11Keyzie:It's just that you guys took me to task for being four minutes late. And in fact, they were late. My bosses were late. Yeah, typical. That was the other thing. That's typical, isn't it? You know? Bloody typical. So I'm sort of being held hostage by their tardiness, by their lack of professionalism. It's bullshit. You're being made to look stupid because of their behaviour. That's right. And I won't stand for it. Do you like my new haircut? It's a completely different style for you, Keezy. You have a lot of different hairstyles. Yeah. New lid, Keezy. Nerd Keezy, I'd call this one.

1:40Mike Minogue:What it is is I had - Side part, Keezy. No, no, it's the same haircut. It's just styled differently. Is that what it is? Yeah, because I had a different barber today, and she put heaps of water and then - Harriet. Harriet, and then heaps of water, and then blue dryer or whatever it's called, and then put a bit of wax in, which is not how I style it. Yeah, right. Did you tell her I'm all good? No, I asked her to put some stuff in it. I just said, just do it up however you think looks good, and then she did. And then you went, wrong. No, I went, that looks sick.

2:09Keyzie:I think your wife will really like it.

2:11Mike Minogue:Jase, you don't know what my wife likes. You have no idea.

2:15Keyzie:He knows what women want. I think your wife is going to really like it. You know, when people, because I got my hair cut last week. I got my hair cut last week. You know, and they'll always say something like, you want a bit of product? And I go, yeah. And they style it how they style it. It doesn't really matter to me because I go home and then style it how I like it.

2:37Mike Minogue:Yeah, the issue is I was going straight from that to a meeting. Right. With you guys. Yeah, yeah. At 304 Sharp. Yeah. So I just said style it how you like. I didn't mind it. That's good stuff. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Have you earned yours yet? My haircut? Yeah. I have. I've gone for a new system, Casey. See if you like this. Right. See if you like this idea. Okay. Instead of getting my hair cut and going from, jeez, you've had a haircut, you know, or it'd be noticed at least because you get the razor out and all that sort of stuff, and that happening sort of once every three to four weeks. So you go from you've clearly had a haircut to, Jesus, look at the state of your hair.

3:14I'm going now every two weeks, painless, and you can't tell that I've had a haircut. It just remains the same. Because it's just a trim. Because it's more of a trim. It's not the big job haircut. Really? So I'm just going to go with a consistent two-weeker. They do less. I'm in there for a shorter amount of time, but it's not going from these extremes of looks good, looks shit, looks good, looks shit, or looks better, looks shit.

3:37Mike Minogue:I don't think it ever looks shit. Worse, you know what I'm saying? So that's my new system.

3:43Keyzie:I personally couldn't be arsed doing that every two weeks, but I only go every six weeks. Well, you wear a hat 98 % of the time. And I wear a hat a lot of the time, so, you know, what is.

3:56Mike Minogue:Yeah. That's interesting. I've never heard of anyone doing that. This is my first. It's just occurred to me. And I was talking to the wife about it. I was like, why do I go from, look, you've got to look real sharp to looking like a tramp, in my own opinion. I also didn't know that you could just get the trim. I didn't know that was an option. Yeah, you got the trim. Yeah, yeah, yeah. So I'm not getting the shaved up the back or any of that. I'm just there because the other thing is I'm thinking, I think I'm too old for shaved up the back and sides. I think I just need to have a little bit more length on.

4:23Is that a fade? Huh? Is it a fade? No fade. Oh, okay. I'm just leaving a little bit more length on it. I feel like that makes more sense for me. He's got the old shape of that. Oh, I know. It looks great. Yeah, yeah. Well, Jase, it does. Right. But I'm saying for myself, I think, because the other thing is if I'm going for the fade, then that's where you get the, oh, you clearly need a haircut thing. Yeah, right. So you're avoiding that. I'm avoiding that.

4:46Mike Minogue:The Hauraki Beach Show, weekdays from four on Radio Hauraki. The Hauraki Big Show Podcast

4:55Keyzie:It is amazing how much haircuts take the age off you Yes, we'll put it on Well yeah, I guess so Depending on the haircut Yeah, yeah, I guess so

5:04Mike Minogue:I suppose because when you get them they'll trim your eyebrows and stuff and the ears and the nose Nose and all that No, not the nose

5:10Keyzie:No? No Ears That's the first time a couple of times ago that's the first time my hairdressers ever said to me do you want your eyebrows trimmed? And I was like, oh, yeah.

5:23Mike Minogue:Yeah. 100%.

5:24Keyzie:Because I can't do it because I can't see it.

5:27Mike Minogue:No.

5:27Keyzie:So it's too risky. And it's kind of, in my ears, there's something kind of nice about someone putting a buzzy thing in your ear.

5:34Mike Minogue:Yeah, yeah. Don't they do it with a flame or something? Isn't there like a lighter or something that they put in your ear and it trims it? No, they just use the same thing as they do your head with. Yeah, just the corner of the trim in there. I'd love to get a beard or my facial hair groomed in a barber, see what that's like.

5:51Keyzie:Or one of those wet shaves.

5:53Mike Minogue:Yeah, that's what I mean.

5:53Keyzie:You know, with like a blade.

5:55Mike Minogue:With a straight razor. I was talking to a mate at the wedding over the weekend, and he said that he went along to a Middle Eastern barber. And he got the beard done, but he just said, look, I just want to just trim back, but don't give me any hard lines or anything. Yeah, the hard line beard looks terrible. He said, one of those things where you sort of get frozen in the barber's seat. Yes. And you're like, oh, you're thinking to yourself, oh, they're fucking it up. And you don't say anything. Yes. And then they say, you're all done. All done. What do you think about that? Love it. Yes. So you walk out and then just go, fuck's sake.

6:32But he got given really hard, sharp lines. And then went out for lunch with his mates and just got roasted. They've never forgotten. It was years ago. Yes. And they continue to drag him for it.

6:43Keyzie:It's funny how that happens. Because it's a real look. It's a real look.

6:46Mike Minogue:It's a real, like, I want to be perfect looking.

6:49Keyzie:But it's amazing how you do sit there and just go, oh, what the fuck? It took me decades before I spoke up.

6:56Mike Minogue:And then they're like, does it look good? You're like, yeah. And then they show you the back and you're like, cool, the back's fucked as well. Yeah, that's great. Yeah, that's great. I had one barber when I was a kid. She cut my ear. She goes, oops. Blood pissing down my, still charge me for it. Don't you? Yeah. Cut my ear with scissors. And then I was telling somebody about it when I was an adult. I was going, I remember this time. I got cut Yes And she goes oops And I said what's that She goes nothing And then I go outside I'm bleeding And I'm telling her And I said the weird thing is She charged me Yes That guy cut me Didn't tell me I walked out bleeding He charged me So I just finished Telling him the yarn Oh my god Motherfucker And I didn't go back in there And say anything I just took it like a bitch You were just hard lines You walked out of there

7:38Keyzie:Speaking of hard lines I was Millimetres away The last When I last week when I got my haircut, there was one little haircut and at the back they had shaved like a line, you know, and it was ridiculous. But I thought, I've got to get him to do that to me because the fellas will never fucking let that go because it would have fucking looked so – well, you know, some people would have thought it looked cool.

8:03Mike Minogue:There would be something very funny. If we all agreed to grow our hair for a year straight, right? Yeah. And then we each picked each other's haircuts. Yes. That would be very funny.

8:14Keyzie:But I don't think you could do that for a year, Keezy. Me? I don't think Mogi could. I couldn't either. No, neither could Mogi. No, I hate it. Yeah, I could maybe do it.

8:23Mike Minogue:I think I could do it.