OUTRO BITS: He's Got A Boner!

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0:15Mike Minogue:We're not allowed to talk about the thing that happened on the radio. Oh yeah. So we have to talk about it on here. Yeah, yeah, yeah, let's do that. Yeah, there was a... Oh, the douche douche. There was a fight at a hangar bar last night, which is so great.

0:25Keyzie:Which is so West Auckland.

0:27Mike Minogue:It's so... It's two guys in backbone shirts. Having a ruckus with one. I'd never heard of Hodaki. Never heard of our show. Got the backbone shirts on, having a go at each other. Yeah.

0:35Keyzie:I heard from Toddy there that it was the boss and one of the employees. So it was, yeah, there was a couple of young, it was a work drinks, and you'd imagine they were builders or plumbers or something like that. Yeah. They were all tradies. And a couple of young fellas were running their yaps, and so a couple of the older fellas needed to put them in their place. One of them in particular came off worse than the other. Yes. and then still kept on running his goddamn yap. Just tell me. And then got put in a cab and sent home eventually. But it went for a while. It went for ages. And it's a shame because it would have made a great photo, the guy with the blood pissing out of his nose and teeth and a backbone shirt on.

1:15It would have been good. It would have. But the partners that be didn't think it was a good look for our show and I completely disagree. For our promo, I think it was more about.

1:25Mike Minogue:You know, Isaac out in the office, he was saying that one of the real hammered dudes up front was like oh these guys think they're making some pretty funny jokes about West Auckland how about we show them how funny West Auckland can really be fucking bring it bring it on who is it yeah I know which guy he was talking about he probably would have he certainly would have had a good run at us oh is that the big fella that was the tweaky guy who he'd already walked past yeah I don't know oh I know the one yeah and then he came back I reckon I could have fucking smacked you Jase oh you could have and then he would have smacked you a thousand times.

1:57Mike Minogue:It's just like, oh, cool. You know, I tell everyone we should go to West Auckland and do a show and then some dude threatens us. And then that's literally what happens is the stereotype is the reality. Yes. Yeah. The Hauraki Big Show. Weekdays from four on Radio Hauraki. The Hauraki Big Show with Jace, Mike and Keezy. Tune in weekdays at four on Radio Hauraki.

2:22Keyzie:With the black clash, if I had to get in the spa, I wouldn't be that comfortable with it. Oh, you wouldn't? No. I mean, you guys probably wouldn't be. Maybe next year I'll do it if there's another black clash. No, you won't. Yeah, I would. Oh, yeah, true. You might be changing things up. Yeah, true that. Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. Yeah, you wouldn't like it, man. Nah. Is it really warm? No, you wouldn't like it because you're down amongst the filth. Yeah, yeah. It's not the filth of the spa that's the problem. It's the people that talk to you. That would be annoying. You'd hate it. Because you hate everyone that talks to you, eh?

2:57Keyzie:Generally speaking, I do, yeah. That's true, though. I hate people that... No, the only thing I hate is when people yell at me from behind. Which, unfortunately... Is quite often. They'll go, Hoi-Di-J! And I go, Ah! I didn't tell you the other day, I was driving on the motorway, and a truck pulled up to me right next to me on the motorway, and we were crawling along, and he did the window down, Hoi-Di-J! And I goddamn near crashed the car. It gave me such a shock. Ridiculous. I mean, I don't like that, but I don't mind talking to people in general. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Because there's a lot of fans out there for the big show, fellas.

3:31I sort of find when people talk to you that you start drifting over to your phone pretty quick. Pardon?

3:38Keyzie:That was good. No, that's only for marketing meetings. Oh, that's not true. You know, when people start banging. We need an idea for blah, blah, blah.

3:49Mike Minogue:Jase, it's how our show makes money, and it's a five-minute meeting.

3:52Keyzie:It's not my job. Yes, it is. To come up with concepts for advertising.

3:56Mike Minogue:To come up for concepts that will work well for us to do on the show that we don't then go, oh, my God, this is so punishing. Yeah. Even though quite a lot of the time we still do. We still do do that.

4:05Keyzie:We still do say they're punishing. When was the first time you saw a naked lady? Yeah, I was around about that age because my brother. Did your dairy sell them? Oh, dairy. Oh, probably, but I never bought them. My brother had a suitcase full of them. He found a suitcase full of them over at the college behind the – they had this wall. I don't know what that wall was for even now. But, yeah, he found a suitcase. So he brought those home and chucked them up in the garage out of reach. So, yeah, we'd sort of plough our way through those.

4:36Mike Minogue:So good. But, yeah, very young, too young to have any sort of idea what's going on. I do remember one occasion where my brother put on a porno. Sure. and it was, I think there was three or four of us there. I was young, man. This is a real Jackson 5s type yard. I remember, man. I still remember where I was sitting in the room and everything. Did you turn up? And so my brother, so obviously I've got to, we've absolutely got to put a warning on.

5:11Keyzie:Yeah, we do. Especially given it's our New Year's fucking special. I was going to have a resolution where we had to start talking less filth, but this is a terrible start. That's funny. So I got aroused and I had to rearrange myself because it was sort of, you know, it was jutting. It was jutting out. Anchorman style. So my trick that I used to do when I was doing that at school, when that would happen at school, which was, you know, I'm sure it happened everywhere, but you didn't care as much as when it was at school, was I'd pretend I was tucking myself in. So I'd start at the back and I'd tuck my shirt in and I'd tuck all the way in and that would allow me to grab myself and redirect it up under the waistband of your shorts.

5:56Yeah, yeah, yeah, sure. And so I did that, but I did it lying down. And my brother goes, hey, what are you doing? And I go, oh, I'm just tucking myself in. And he goes, oh, why is your shirt still hanging out? And I was like, ooh. he got me he got me well yeah your brother's got a when your brother's got a direction you gotta give him a shit about it