OUTRO: Boiling Point

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0:14Keyzie:Oh, g'day, fellas. Zach Bow. Hi, Jase. Hi, Mike. How are you going, team? How's everyone? Oh, so good. It's been ages. For you. Days and days since I've seen you. Yeah, it was really nice. It's a great city, Melbourne. I really like it.

0:31Mike Minogue:You know what cracked me up there? Because you put a nice photo of you and your family. Yeah. And I was cracking up. I was like, oh, she got this nice photo of Jason's family to my wife. And then she was like, oh, that's a nice photo. I was like, yeah. Hoody J's got his Bougia t-shirt and his Reburger hat on.

0:45Keyzie:I tell you what took us by surprise. It was fucking hot. Yeah. But even the girls were like, Jesus.

0:53Mike Minogue:That's what I was saying about when we're there for Magic Round, there's a drought thing coming. I think it's El Nino, one of the Ninos. It's hitting Aussie and there's going to be a drought. There's always a Nino or a Nino. But it's going to be uncharacteristically hot.

1:05Keyzie:Well, we sort of packed kind of thinking it might be a bit chilly, but we're talking 27, 28 degrees.

1:12Mike Minogue:Right, so it's going to be a bit chilly. I better put my Reeburger hat in.

1:15Keyzie:Yeah, yeah, yeah. But no, it was good. Melbourne's a great city. I like it a lot. That was a wedding. It was good, man. No, it was good. It was really good. It was good. It was good.

1:32Keyzie:Classic my mate, whose wedding it was. Can we say who it is? About an hour before we left to come to the wedding, he texted me or messaged me and said, can you give a speech?

1:45Mike Minogue:Are you fucking serious?

1:49Keyzie:Yeah, I suppose so, man. Why am I not surprised by that? And can I say, because he's a comedian, I'm assuming he didn't have a wedding party. Did he have a wedding party? Yeah, well, what do you mean by a wedding party? A wedding party as a best man. He did. Oh, did he? You weren't involved in that. No, because he didn't know if I was coming. So he wanted me to be his best man. That's interesting. He didn't know that I was coming. I was not surprised. And didn't think that I would come. Did you surprise him? No, I let him know I was coming. So he knew you were coming. Quite late in the ticket, though.

2:24Keyzie:To be honest. So you knew about it, but you let him know late, or he let you know late? Well, I was undecided for a while. Oh, were you? Yeah, yeah. And also, I don't want to fucking do all the best man admin, you know, like organising staggies and stuff. The admin's not for you, Jase. Definitely not. That's not a you job. But also, did he have a staggy? And he's in another. Oh, he would have had a filthy one. But also, it was interesting because. Prostitutes. Because he's a comedian. And a lot of comics there. A lot of comics.

2:58Mike Minogue:So you just do a speech to the comics?

2:59Keyzie:Yes, and a lot of the comics did speeches. Which was just sets. It began to be sets. Did it just end up being a roast of him? To a degree, yes, it did. But also I didn't realise I did my entire wedding speech with my zip down. Yeah, see, he was doing a bit. He was doing a bit the whole time. Not deliberately, and I'm talking like fully down. But you can get away with calling that a bit. And standing on the stairs, you know, with everyone just, yeah, gaping, I think. Oh, God.

3:32Mike Minogue:What was in your speech? It was gaping. Did you talk about back in the good old days when you first met? No. Just how much you've enjoyed these last few years now that you've sort of grown apart.

3:42Keyzie:Yeah, pretty much. And did you say some of your favourite memories of his new partner? Here's the other awkward side of it, is that I don't know his partner very well at all. I've only met her once. What's her name? Backbone. I'm not telling you her name. There's no backbone. Yeah.

3:57Mike Minogue:Far out. That rules. Did you mention the fact that he asked you to do the speech an hour before? Yes. Good. Yeah, yeah. That's easy money, isn't it? Yeah, well, it's... That's an easy laugh. You set the scene. Yeah, yeah, yeah.

4:07Keyzie:But for this particular person, it's no surprise whatsoever.

4:12Mike Minogue:When you were doing the speech, did you ask anyone in the audience, did you sort of go to the audience, do a bit of crowd work, ask people what they did for a crust and stuff? No.

4:19Keyzie:Oh, what? Because they wouldn't know what the fuck I was talking about because they were all Aussies. I thought you said they're all comedians. Well, they're all comedians. Oh, you know Ray O 'Leary? Yeah. Very funny guy. And coincidentally, because I didn't know much about him. About Ray? About Ray, yeah. He gets mad ass. He is very funny. And I... The comedian. This is before I met him at the wedding. I was getting all these, suddenly for some reason, all of his Instagram clips. And I was going, this guy's funny. He's very good. That's rare for you to accept that somebody else is funny. And then he came up.

4:53Keyzie:Then he came up to me. Well, wait, let me explain. He came up to me and was like a huge Horty J fan. So that's why you've warmed up to him. So I've warmed to him. Was he actually? Yeah, he was. Yeah, boy. He knew me from Sugar and Spice and All Shorts. All Shorts. All Shorts. Was a lot of him adjusting his glasses, pushing his glasses, take up his nose? No, he wasn't wearing glasses.

5:20Mike Minogue:Oh, was he not? No. Wow. Oh, so he mistook you for someone else.

5:24Keyzie:And I, and I. Who thought you were Johnny? Yeah. When he arrived, I went, oh, how funny, because I've just been watching clips of this guy, heaps of them, and here he is. Did you recognise him without his glasses on? I did, yeah. How hot. Do you guys like his comedy? Because I think it's very good. I haven't watched it much of it. Just a lot of race-based stuff that's not really my cup of tea, but I can see why you like it.

5:43Mike Minogue:Yeah. The Hauraki Big Show, weekdays from four on Radio Hauraki. The Hauraki Big Show Podcast No I haven't watched a lot of Ray The only time I've seen him is he was on maybe a panel show or something Didn't he do I am a fan just joking about the racist stuff

6:00Keyzie:Did he He did Taskmaster didn't he Wasn't he on Taskmaster Taskmaster And that was the other thing he was banging on about Was insisting that I do Taskmaster You'd be excellent And he was like it's perfect for you And I said I would hate it And he went exactly That's why you would be perfect because everything that you have to do would start with you going, and people would take great joy out of your misery. Yeah, they would. I know I do.

6:27Mike Minogue:I do think you would be brilliant on that show.

6:29Keyzie:Oh, it would just be a nightmare.

6:30Mike Minogue:Because it would be a shambles, and I'd be watching it like, oh, my God, I feel like I need to be there helping Jase with this task.

6:34Keyzie:Well, you know, funnily enough, my agent asked me the other day about this voiceover and stuff. What voiceover? Because it's just for this animation, and I was like, I've been saying no to so much stuff that I felt bad. Jase hasn't been getting any offers for anything. Not offers, like auditions and stuff. Yeah, yeah, yeah. And so for this particular thing, I went, yeah, sure, sounds great. And now I'm already going.

7:04Mike Minogue:What is it, like one hour in a booth? I don't know.

7:06Keyzie:I don't know what it is, but yeah.

7:09Mike Minogue:Oh, there you go.

7:10Keyzie:But anyway, enough about me. Yeah, it was good, man. It was good. an hour and a half drive out from where we were.

7:17Mike Minogue:Right, which is, you were saying, a ball ache.

7:19Keyzie:Well, it was a bit of a ball ache. You've come all the way from New Zealand, but the drive's killing you. No, it was just because... You haven't got a car. We had a car, my daughter's car. Oh, nice. And we were on the motorway, and of course there was a massive accident, which added half an hour to the journey. Did you fuck it up by driving on the wrong side of the road or something? Yeah. Fucking made a mess in the door.

7:37Mike Minogue:But they're driving the same way as here.

7:39Keyzie:It was really funny, I've got to tell you this, because we borrowed our daughter's car, right, and we met her for breakfast. And then we took her car and went back to the hotel and she just hung out with my younger daughter. We went to the hotel, got changed, took 15 minutes, got back in her car, and I was driving for about a minute and my wife goes, was there always a crack in the windscreen? And we were like, surely there was. surely surely there was because we don't literally only had it for about 15 minutes surely yeah my wife was like well i was in the car in this very position i never noticed that and it's quite big and i was like yeah no i never noticed it either so we had to ring our daughter and go is there always a crack in your windscreen and she was like cracking up going yes there's always yeah right yeah i was gonna say fuck that would be right wouldn't it we'd crack the windscreen within 10

8:37Mike Minogue:minutes nice man but the wedding was good was it was the food provided was it open bar, all that stuff? Yeah, yeah.

8:43Keyzie:How long did you stay after, though? You're not long, Mogi. Yeah, well done. Because I'll tell you, I got that fucking armpit infection again. Just while I was in Dunedin. You remember I had that massive swollen thing? I do. Started happening in Dunedin. They had to drain it, didn't they? You had a colostomy bag. Yeah, I had a colostomy bag hanging from my armpit. And it's when I get run down that that happens. Run down from what? I don't know. It started happening in Dunedin and I was like, ah, fuck. Not enough golf. Really painful.

9:14Mike Minogue:And is it an infection?