OUTRO: Bring Back The Brown Eye

0:00For all you mad bastards loving the Big Show podcast, get up even closer on Instagram, YouTube and TikTok or Raw Doggy. 4 to 7 every weekday on Radio Horek. Happy birthday to Moody. Happy birthday to Moody. Happy birthday dear Moody. Happy day to you

1:00Mike Minogue:Late 60s?

1:01Keyzie:Right.

1:02Mike Minogue:Yeah, yeah. Just based on your personality and you being an old soul.

1:06Keyzie:My personality, yeah. Well, it's been said before that I am quite an old soul, Kesey, so you might be right there, but happy birthday, Mogi. Hey, thanks, guys. Really appreciate it. Good stuff, mate. That's good stuff, man. What did you do? I woke up. I got given, my wife made me a coffee in bed. How good? That never happens. Really? She's a selfish, horrible son of a bitch. No, she gets up and then she goes straight to work, so I make the coffee. Yeah. She's up early. She's off, fellas. My daughter brought up me in a card, a very nice card. It was set in Fiji. She's very excited about going to Fiji.

1:41Yeah, I bet she is. Yeah. That was about it. My daughter might be making me something at school, she said. She said she was going to ask the teacher if she could make me something at school. Dinner tonight? I feel like dinner tonight. My brother in Orlando from Canada. I imagine there'll be something on the cards. I'm not that bothered, to be honest with you. I've got Fiji coming up, man. That's my birthday. That's true. Yeah. Yeah, I'm not too bothered. As I've already told you, but I've woken up with a bloody sore left side. And I'm hoping that's going to be all good tomorrow. It's your kidney syphilis.

2:14Well, that's my concern is that it is. But, yeah, hopefully not. I've had this feeling before, but it's normally been after months of benders.

2:23Keyzie:Yeah. You know, so it's not that. Have you been eating veggies? Oh, damn it. Because you've been back at the gym again, so you're not doing the protein, protein, no veggie, scurvy scenario, are you? No, no. No, I haven't been doing that again. What has been happening? Not much? Yeah, I don't know. Don't know. Maybe, well, this is it, though, isn't it? When you get old, Jason, you'll find this out in your time, man. I'm not looking forward to it, I can tell you. You just start being sore, I guess. Yes. Yeah, so that'll be one of the things, man.

2:55Mike Minogue:Right.

2:55Keyzie:So, Jason, how old are you? Pardon? How old are you? Well, you guys have been joking that I'm 39. I'm actually 41.

3:04Mike Minogue:Right, okay, so you're 41. Yeah. And you're already always effing and jeffing about being sore. Yeah. Imagine when you're mogies age.

3:10Keyzie:I know. True. God, I can only hope that I get there, to be honest with you. Because Jace's hip. Seems a long way off. Jace's hip almost gave out today at golf. Jace was like the personification of his house. She's a bit overgrown. The dick's fucked. Not anymore she's not. She is. looking good. Oh, the house is, yeah, sure. Or you're talking about your front porch. But the deck is still fucked. Yeah. The deck is still fucked. But, you know, it's just been scrubbed down. All the vegetation's been cleared off it. It's good stuff.

3:39Mike Minogue:The issue with that is that it all goes back. Well, he's got to move out. Yeah, so he won't be there. So it's not his problem.

3:45Keyzie:No, because, fuck, I was effing and jeffing this weekend. Because I've been removing stumps, and that's the key. If you get them root and stem, fellas, they don't tend to grow back. Right. And I've got that massive metal bar, which is. I think it's a D-Lam bar. Why am I thinking it's called a D-Lam? Yeah, I don't know what it's called. It is fucking heavy, but it's effective. But, yeah. At one point, I picked up a huge thing of just vegetation that we'd ripped out. And as I was taking it down a dump in the back garden there, a massive piece of gorse just ripped across my nipple. And I was effing and cheffing.

4:26Keyzie:You're loving your shirt off. No, but I had a very thin T-shirt on. It just went rap and the fuck I was fuming. Gorse nipple. Yeah. I hate that. Not good. Hey, I see it's not on the agenda today, but I'm going to put it on the agenda. I want a full rundown of Keezy's Big Dinner. Oh, yeah, that should be on there. Definitely. No, we don't have to do that. No, I'm really. Absolutely we do. We definitely, because you were very anxious about it, Keezy. I was. Yeah.

4:54Mike Minogue:Yeah, yeah, yeah. I was. Well, I went off without a hitch is all I'll say. And we'll get more into that on the radio, I guess. Yeah, sounds good. Yeah. I feel like. I'm looking forward to it, man. Here we go.

5:06Keyzie:No, I just feel like with Fiji on Friday that we just flagged this week and just, you know what I mean? I think it's a good idea. Can we change our flights to go today? Sure. I mean, we could ask. We can ask.

5:16Mike Minogue:And then we don't have accommodation, but. We get Tony Lyle to cover our show.

5:21Keyzie:No. He's really on brekkie. Here's the deal. I'd be happy to do the show over there. Oh, yeah, I would. You know what I mean? Yeah, you're right. I would too. I'd be happy and then we'd just chill out for the rest of the time together as a team. Yeah, man, I'm excited. How good.

5:38Mike Minogue:The Hauraki Big Show, weekdays from four on Radio Hauraki. The Hauraki Big Show podcast. What if we had to like, because it's very last minute, accommodation would be very expensive. Maybe we'd just get one like four-bedroom villa. I'm keen on that. Yeah, man. With, like, its own stuff. Ah, sure. Thanks, man.

5:59Keyzie:You can actually get those. When I was filming Moon over there, you get these little, what would you call them? When you say filming Moon, you mean shooting porn?

6:11Mike Minogue:No, filming Moon. What the hell's Moon? TV. Oh, Moon TV. Oh. Because of filming Moon, you know when someone does a Moon and you film it. People don't do brown eyes as much as they used to. They don't, do they? They really don't. They've really fallen by the wayside, the brown eye.

6:25Keyzie:That was bigger now, Dave. Oh, I used to love a brown eye. That was sort of your big weekend entertainment. It was. You have a few beers, smoke a few darts, pull a few brown eyes. Well, especially if you were, you know, like on a school bus or something. Yeah. You know what I mean? Well, the secret was, Keyzy, and you'll know this, you're a sick bastard, you used to grab your cheeks and you used to pull them apart.

6:46Mike Minogue:Wow, graphics. See, that's where it was different. In my, you know, sort of my era, it was just a moon. Just showing the bum. You just do a moon, which is just your bum. Do you want to see the graphics? That is the difference between a moon and a brown eye because you want to show the brown eye. We did the full spread like you, Mody. The brown eye of Sauron.

7:02Keyzie:It was a real stretch apart. Yeah, but you did that in private though, didn't you? Yeah, just checking out my own anus.

7:12Mike Minogue:It was more of a joke about, no, don't worry, because that was why you're at school, right?

7:17Keyzie:What, to pull brown eyes?

7:20Mike Minogue:But you're right.

7:21Keyzie:I mean, it was. They just don't happen anymore at all. It was a massive part of our culture. You never see a brown eye. No. It feels like this should be something we're bringing back on the show. I feel like you're right. I feel like bring back the brown eye is a great campaign.

7:34Mike Minogue:Yes. Right. So one of us will have to do it then to get it started.

7:38Keyzie:Well, since you've never had the pleasure, by the sounds of it, it should be you.

7:43Mike Minogue:No, but I've never had the pleasure of seeing one. So I'd rather one of the masters of the brown eye.

7:49Keyzie:Who's the master brown eye? The hairy anus. I mean, we'll have to have a brown eye off, I guess. Yeah, hoity Janus and his hairy anus. I don't really have a very hairy anus. Do you guys want to see it? Yeah, but only if you're doing a brown eye.

8:02Mike Minogue:Yeah, only if you're brown. And it has to be on like a bus or something going past. It has to be a real surprise. Absolutely it does. Yeah, so it has to be a situation where I'm not expecting it and you're going past in a vehicle of some sort. So I don't know how we tee that up. I think the best thing would be to go up to like an ice cream van and you go, oh, have it, and then you look over and instead of having somebody there serving you, It's just Hoardy J's hairless anus staring down at you. Massive, saggy testicles hanging down. I don't know that it's totally hairless. So what about, because I have never experienced a full old school brown eye, what about while we were in Fiji?

8:35Mike Minogue:Because you have a golf cart. It's a tradition over there. They don't like handshakes or being tipped, Kesey. Oh, really? If you really respect and enjoy the service that you get in, you whip out a brown eye.

8:46Keyzie:Oh, okay. You know when they put, you know, what are they called? the leys on you when you arrive in Hawaii yeah the thing to do there is to immediately pull a brown eye when they give you a lay and then brown eye

8:59Mike Minogue:I was thinking I'll pull a brown eye then they'll put a lay over my brown eye and then I'll just so that's the ultimate way to do it have you got a protruding yeah have you got a baboon ass

9:09Keyzie:Keezy yeah baboon ass Keezy we're off to something here I was wondering what we're going to do for the next few weeks until Christmas but now I know. Yeah. It's been a good seven weeks of brown eye chat. Yeah. At least.

9:24Mike Minogue:Because I want to experience it because I've never experienced it so I need one of you guys to, we need to tee it up so I'm like waiting at the bus or something, waiting at the bus stop. In all honesty, I was never a big proponent because I always found the idea of a brown eye, like showing people your brown eye. Disgusting. A bit foul, yeah. Yeah, yeah. And generally it was blokes who didn't wipe their asses properly. Yeah, it'd be like Red Rag to a bull for you though, wouldn't it?

9:48Keyzie:To be honest Yeah I'm the same though I was never a puller of the brown eye But it was a lot You loved watching I was a keen observer You ever have a staring contest with the brown eye? Yeah Yeah see who blinks first That's the trick But you know with old two wipes Hoody J it could be a bit