OUTRO: Calorie Counting with Old Mogey

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0:16Keyzie:Now fellas. Old sleepy. Oh, what happened there? You got Drew. Old Saga. Saga-roo there. Fellas. What? Genuine question, and we can move on from it very quickly. I'm just curious to know your answer. The amount of times, and I don't want to get filthy either, that I've been in that public toilet here at work, and there's been someone inside a booth taking a dump. Cubicle. Cubicle. Or booth. Or booth. Who booth? A toilet booth. and the amount of times they have been extremely vocal. Old mate was vocal just now in there. And I can't get my head around it. I mean, I don't know about you guys. I don't know if you're vocal shitters.

1:12Keyzie:I'm not. And I'm sitting there, or I'm standing there going wheeze. Just jacking it. And people are in the booth or cubicle just like, ugh. And I'm like, what the fuck are you doing in there that you need to be so vocal about?

1:30Mike Minogue:Do you think that those same people are vocal whilst lovemaking?

1:34Keyzie:Because I'm silent. I did wonder that, Kesey.

1:37Mike Minogue:I'm silent as the grave.

1:38Keyzie:I don't know that there's any correlation, but are you guys grunters and moaners and vocal? I'm not. I've had some occasions where it's been a very painful. Yeah, like a fiery one. Are you talking about lovemaking or poos? Yeah, lovemaking. I'm just curious because it kind of does my head in a bit.

1:59Mike Minogue:No, I don't make any noise whatsoever. You know, and as I say, lovemaking, totally silent. Doing poos, totally silent. They must be in pain, though. Maybe they have to force it out. Who's going, ugh.

2:11Keyzie:I'll sometimes, you know, have a bit of chitter chat in lovemaking. Oh. But I'm not like that. How about when you're taking a dump? But when I'm taking a dump, no. Like you maybe in the past. That's how you do it. Where I've had a guy fi or something like that. Yeah, which is a meal. And it's, yeah, a very hot Thai curry, and it might be fucking hell. But the amount of times I've been in there, and there's just some dude, all sorts of dudes, obviously, taking a dump and just like they're fucking murdering someone. It's bus drivers.

2:40Mike Minogue:So our building is right next to like a bus transfer area hub, and the bus drivers have figured out that they can walk into our lobby because it's a public zone, and they can go into that toilet and just unleash hell. Well, I think you're being really unfair on bus drivers. No, no, no, no, because I have seen how many fucking bus drivers come out of there. Yeah. And they've all got like vests and the blue shirt and stuff, and they're all big fellas, the ones I've seen. I will never forget Sky, when I was working at Sky in like 2019 or something, 18, I opened the, went to open the, go into the toilet door.

3:14Mike Minogue:It was a push, and there was a big fella from IT. He was, he sort of met me at the toilet door, and so I pushed it open, said, oh, after you, mate. He's like, thanks. He walked into the cubicle. I went to the urinal. And he, like, seriously, it was like a geyser going off of there whilst someone was playing tennis. Like, ah, ah, ah. And it was just like, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah. And I was just like, he looked me in the eye, said, thanks, mate, and then still fucking unleashed that. That is, and I would never forget it because I walked back to the office and I was like, I can never use that toilet ever again.

3:52Mike Minogue:Yeah.

3:54Keyzie:Yeah, it's a curious thing. I don't know. I'm reaching, I almost reach a point where I feel like I need to say, are you all right in there? Yeah. You know what I mean? Because what the fuck is going on? But anyway.

4:05Mike Minogue:What about you, Moggy? Poo stories, man. What's your favourite poo story? I've already told my poo story. Sometimes it gets real hot. But yeah, I was in there and I heard the same guy just as I was leaving. So I was like, ugh. Gave it one of those.

4:16Keyzie:I mean, it could be that they're beating off. Yeah that's what I thought If it was longer If it had happened a bit earlier Because they're asking for conversation If they're going to do that Yeah I have to wait I don't like it I have to wait for people to leave Before I can tear in Oh look same And I'm really In actual fact My family members are like that too

4:51Mike Minogue:the whole raki big show podcast i still remember actually this has unlocked another core memory intermediate core memory we're all playing touch rugby and then we're like fuck i need to go wheeze and then someone else like yeah i need to go wheeze i was like yeah i need to go wheeze as well so we'll all go and there's like five cubicles in a row we're all going wheeze and i was like i actually need to take a shit and so i was like i reckon i could do a quick one and as we were going wheeze like wheeze I was like go go go go and then everyone stopped doing wheeze and then I did a poo and then everyone heard it it was like Chris you're doing poos oh my god Chris is taking a shit oh my god it's disgusting and I was like that's not me it's someone but it was me yeah I think you were I think you were within your rights man no totally but it was when you're intermediate and then a guy doing poos oh yeah it's good stuff it's like yeah that's good content and to be fair it was

5:45Keyzie:But anyway, moving on I was just curious Because I find it just throws me off kilter Yeah You okay, man? Yeah, I've got my gin ramen noodles here

5:57Mike Minogue:So weird that you've got afternoon tea Why have you got afternoon tea?

6:00Keyzie:Well, because I had some stuff to do after we played today And I didn't have time to grab food So I thought, oh, I'll just grab a little thingy of these A little two-minute noodle And, you know, make my own little mixture up Which I always put in my gin ramen noodles I reckon they're perfect as is, man. It's fucking good. Nice. It's fucking good. We should have noodle chat on the show one day, actually. That'd be good. Because I'll tell you what, I don't know about you guys, back in the day, the old Thai, spicy Thai noodle, I would have eaten 50 ,000 packets of those. Fuck it. You've eaten the most in the world.

6:31Keyzie:Probably, Mogi. Probably, I'd say.

6:33Mike Minogue:Do you like noodles? Do I like noodles? Like a cup of noodle? He loves noodles. Not a cup of noodle anymore. Like a two mini? I mean, they're great, but they're also about 700 calories for fuck off. Are they really? You don't get much juice out of them. Shit, I didn't know that. A lot of calories, and then you're hungry in about half an hour. I was told that it's the same as a Big Mac, but I don't know if that's true or not. Yeah. I have no idea, Jase. It feels like...

6:58Keyzie:Why would there be that many... Chuck a hair, sweetheart? There's still a bit of stuff in there. Don't worry, I'm not going to drink it, man. No, that's fine. Mogi, don't drink the rest of Hoyt's ramen. It doesn't feel like... Because it just feels like noodles and spice. It's sodium. Oh, is that what it is? A lot of sodium. Well, sodium, yeah.

7:16Mike Minogue:But also, fuck, man, like those Asian countries for decades. Come on now. Listen to what I've got to say. Decades they've eaten so many noodles, so much noodles. Yes. And they're all sweet. You know what I mean? Yeah, these are different though, aren't they? These are a Western abomination.

7:35Keyzie:No, those are Japanese. I actually see them. That's not bad. That's 300 calories. Oh, okay. That's fuck all then. That's pretty good. Often when I'm watching my mukbang videos, you're right, Kesey, they do eat a lot of noodles. Yeah, I love noodles. Vast quantities. But, yeah. But I've sort of gone off them too. I used to eat them all the time. It was that classic thing of having too much of a good thing and then you just go off them. Yeah, it happens.

8:04Mike Minogue:Moggy, so 300 calories. I have no idea about calories. 600 calories for a Big Mac. Big Mac, 600. And then so what is the average like a bloke like me should eat in a day? You'd be about 25 to 2 ,700. Wow, okay. Probably closer to 2 ,700. Okay. That's a maintenance, weight maintenance.

8:24Keyzie:That's maintaining the status quo. Yeah.

8:27Mike Minogue:So I could eat, wake up, have a Big Mac for breakfast, Big Mac for lunch, Big Mac for dinner. Doesn't matter how you get your calories at all. And it's 1 ,800. But what it does is you want to have a percentage of the calories, a percentage of your calories being gained through a split of fats, protein and carbohydrates. Right, okay. You want a good split of that. Right. Because if you go over in any of those, then it shuts your balance out. Right, and you get unhealthy. You get shit. But you need veggies in there as well. But in terms of just straight calories, absolutely.

8:57Keyzie:What used to really throw me off when I was very anal about...

9:05Keyzie:at the gym was the old coffees. It used to be like, this coffee's 600 calories. And I'd be like, what the fuck, man? What coffee is that? What the hell coffee are you having? Ice coffee with cream on it. Yeah, well, like a latte or whatever. It was some stupid number. It was like 400 or 500 calories or something like that. What was it? Still, that's fucked. In a coffee? Like from a takeaway shop sort of thing or a packet? No, from a takeaway shop or one that I'd made myself. and so be like, oh, fuck, well, I've just consumed a quarter of my calories for the day. Yeah, that's not true because a black coffee is one calorie.

9:41Keyzie:Really? Yes, and so milk is not 500 calories.

9:47Mike Minogue:He puts butter in his. Oh, that'll be it. And cream. Yeah, a bit of cream. Butter and cream and dripping. You put dripping in there.

9:55Keyzie:And that's when I sort of gave up. Is it a latte? Is that what you would have? Yeah. Or a flat white? Usually a latte. Latte. Just a standard latte, man. 100 calories. Oh, okay. There you go.

10:09Mike Minogue:Don't know where the fuck I got my numbers from. You must have put, like, whipped cream hundreds and thousands on a choccy sauce. Ten sugars. Ten sugars. Yeah, the sugars have been like. That's right. Yeah, exactly. Latte was 130, but then I had eight sugars. Oh, fuck if I know. And a wafer. Hey, listen to the big show. 4 till 7, 4pm till 7pm every weekday on Radio Hodaki. You'll really enjoy it. You'll love it so much, man. Great stuff.