OUTRO: Can't Beat Wellington

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0:17Keyzie:G'day fellas. G'day mate, how's it going? Yeah good thanks mate, how are you? Well I'm not, I'm cramping a bit but otherwise I'm good. Right. How are you Keezy? I'm pretty good, we're just playing with our levels. Keezy's not happy with my volume? Ian? You guys are really quiet in my ears. Yeah, well, turn your ears up, man. Which is my ears? There we go. Which one's my ears? For those of you tuning in, we're at Parrot Dog in Lyle Bay. And I tell you what, it's bloody great. I've got a view of all the planes taking off from the airport there. Fellas, looks like a good crowd coming in. Should be a good one.

0:52Keyzie:Should be a ripper, mate. Should be a ripper. She's cool down here. Nippy. Yeah, I think we can agree on that. but it wasn't as bad as I thought it was going to be. It was meant to be gale for Southerlies, but they're just, you know. It's still blowing a gale out there. Well, it's windy compared to Auckland, but it's not windy compared to Wellington. No. And you sent a message on the chat today from one of your mates saying postpone. Postpone. And then you were like, lol, and he said, no, I'm being serious. Turn around, go home. Turn around, go home. So I was expecting the very worst. Actually, it's been, to be honest, one of the more pleasant days I've had in Wellington.

1:26Keyzie:It's nippy, certainly, but it's not too windy and it's not pissing with rain. What would it take for you to move here, Keezer? You hate it. Probably some sort of, no, I would never move here. I just would never move here because there's nothing here for me. There's a dollar term on it, though. There's a dollar. Yes. There's a dollar that would convince you. So if I was getting double what I'm on now, so if I was on a mill, I'd be down here maybe. Yeah. But even then, man, the sacrifice I'm making. I know. I've got no family down here. People would love you just banging around here moaning about the cold.

1:54Fuck yeah. I turn into DJ is what I do.

1:56Keyzie:What is really tempting, actually, is some of the places down here are beautiful. They are. And it's not Auckland prices. Nope. So there is that. Yeah, but that's for a reason. There is that. Yeah. You think your house is cold? And I'm just looking out across here, and it's like, it's a beautiful beach here. It's a beautiful city. I've been swimming there before, froze my balls off. Yes. But, you know, refreshing. Oh, yeah, wakes you up. Yeah, man. Wakes you up. Well, that's what Pug said when we landed. He's like, oh, that beach is great. And I'm like, is it fucking great? Or is it just good for Wellington?

2:26The thing about it is you get a hot day, and I'm talking 21, 22 degrees. Yeah, steamy. Which is like sort of 43 anywhere else in the country. For some reason it is. And then you think, man, I'm going to go down for a swim. But the ocean doesn't get the message that it's hot outside. Because it takes weeks and weeks and weeks of good weather for the ocean to warm up. Which, of course, it never gets here. So it's always fucking Arctic. You're still swimming, aren't you?

2:49Keyzie:That reminds me of when I was filming down here once, and one of my scenes was to rescue this woman from the surf. You? Me. Can't swim. I think I was a lifeguard. Oh, my God. No, that wasn't my character, but he was also a part-time lifeguard. And I had to save this woman, so I had to dive into the water, lift her in the water, and then take her up to the top of the beach. I swear to God I nearly had a heart attack. Did they film it in a kiddies pool? No, it was a legit ocean, and I was fucking freezing. But actually running, holding a person in sand, it was horrendous. At any time. There was terrible.

3:32There's this romantic idea of people picking up their woman and carrying them around. Yes. It's not easy. It's not easy. Do you do that, Kesey? No, we're not getting into me lifting up my wife. I'm just asking you. Because I know what's going to happen next. Because it'd be hard for you to lift your wife. My wife often piggybacks me to bed. Does she? Yeah. It's more like a koala, though. You're like a koala.

3:53Keyzie:You know, what happens when we're at the batch, for example, and we have to cross a little stream? Yeah. I don't like taking my shoes off. No. And so she piggybacks me across the stream. Fuck, she's strong. She lays down her jacket in puddles. Yes, 40-J. She does, man. It's fucking great stuff. What a legend she is. I've got to say, it's good to be here. It is absolutely crazy to me. that in the four and a half years that we've been going, pretty much, give or take, four years, that we've never done a show here. Well, it's a shithole, Mogi. Oh, yeah, I forget. But we're hugely popular down here.

4:30Yeah, it is bizarre. It is very odd. I think this will either make us do more or less. Yes. The Hauraki Big Show. Weekdays from four on Radio Hauraki. The Hauraki Big Show with Jace, Mike and Keezy. Tune in weekdays at 4 on Radio Holac.

4:48Keyzie:I've done a few shows down here in the past and they've gone off. Right. Always. Yeah, right. So, yeah, it has been crazy. And particularly because, you know, we're massively into Beervana. We just, our scheduling on that front was always terrible. Bit of. Because we always ended up doing our show in the middle of the two sessions. And so no one was there. That's right. So if you don't know Beervana, they do a morning and an afternoon session or afternoon and evening. And between the hours of 4 and 5, they swap over. so everything gets emptied out. For like two hours. They clean up and then the next day I come in it's one hour or an hour and a half.

5:22So we start so between four and five the idea is we're coming down here and do our live show for people. There's literally only cleaners there. Yes. All of the cake tin is empty bar cleaners. Until like Very odd decision and so not only do we do it one year we've done it two or three years.

5:36Keyzie:I think it was the last time we went fuck this for a joke. This is stupid. It gets to the point in our show where we're doing like I don't know starting to wrap things up and then the crowd comes in. Yes. It's fucking weird. But it's great to be here at the pub and I'm ready for a bit of a night. And it's a good sign because it was 3 o 'clock and in front of the little setup we've got here, it was already quite busy. Yeah, there's quite a few. Yeah. It's always, I wonder how busy it is generally, but I'm looking around, there's a lot of backbones here. There is a lot of backbones here already and I think we've got a lot of tradie backbones in Wellington.

6:10So I think you'll find they'll turn up from 4.35. 5. Yeah, right. They should really knock off, to be fair to them, but there you go.

6:17Keyzie:Yeah, totally, man, totally. But it is great. But the beer's flowing like wine. Yeah. Yeah. How are you feeling, Jase? You pumped? Yeah, I'm feeling good, man. Should be fine. Looking forward to getting to my hotel room. Get into my hotel room. You know, chilling up. Because I know you fellas are going to have a big one. She's a lovely hotel. It is. Well, the thing about this is it's a good opportunity for me to hopefully catch up with some people I know. It's sort of a sponsored trip. Yes. Do you know what I mean? Flights, accommodation, and hopefully free piss. Yeah. Well, definitely free piss.

6:52Might as well make the most. You know what I'm saying, man? Yeah. I totally know what you're saying. Yeah. How are you feeling, Keezy, man? You look a bit green around the gills there, brother. I'm a bit sweaty, man. You all good, man? What are you talking about? Are you okay? What the fuck are you talking about? I had a dream. I'm a machine on you. I had a dream last night. and it was quite funny where I woke up. So I woke up in real life and was like, but that fucking will happen too. And what happened in the dream was we were doing the live show in Wellington and we like went to start and we looked down at the show plan and there was just nothing written there.

7:24And one of you guys was just like, oh, Keezy's got his massive shoes on. And then the whole part cracked up laughing. And then I was just like, oh, hey, what's on the show today? He goes, oh, Keezy's got big shoes. And then everyone laughed and then it was just like, oh, that was a really good break. We're going to have to start the show with that. Yeah, totally. And I woke up and I was just like, I bet that fucking will happen. Imagine how good that break will be, bro. You've dreamed it. You've dreamed it. Was the audience appreciating it? Unfortunately, yeah. Yeah. But it was just like, I woke up and was like, that's exactly what we would do.

7:56Keyzie:And you are wearing your floaters, too. What is a floater? Well, they just stop making up nicknames for stuff. They're just massive paddles. They are. They're big land kayaks. And to be honest, today, hopping out of that Uber, you and I took from lunch? Yes. I couldn't get my foot out because his seat was back and I couldn't get my foot out because of how big my shoe was. Wouldn't it be amazing if you died trying to escape from a building and you're massive mood? My shoes got caught. Funnily enough, when we got dropped off here, I got out of the car and my bag had fallen down around my waist and wrapped around my legs.

8:32Keyzie:And so I was kind of tripping across the road looking like, a massive cock. You know what's funny about you and that bag? Yes. Is that there's fucking nothing in it? I know, but I... Like today at lunch? Oh, yeah. It's just... It's got my wallet, my phone, and a few little bits and pieces in it, but I just feel like if I don't take it, then I'll lose... Is this your pink bag? No, no, it's my satchel. Your satchel. And I'm terrible... If I have my bag, I'll put shit in my bag. If I don't have my bag, I'll leave it on the table. Totally. Which I did with my glasses yesterday. It's just like I've noticed with you When we were at the Malaysian restaurant You sat Facing sort of The way I was sitting At one point To side on With your chair Really far out Side saddle And your feet Up against my chair And your bag Like all over my chair And I was just standing there Like I literally have no place to sit And you just had no idea And then I like Picked up your bag to move And I thought This is empty Fuck I'm cool man Yeah man It's so sick 100 % It's so sick man Yeah it is really sick Looking forward to meeting Gubbie in the flesh Oh I mean, he might have his third child and not make it.

9:37Yeah, that's true. He'll still make it, I reckon. Yeah, he'll come in with a fresh newborn babe. We'll christen it here at the big show. Hey, looking forward to, well, if you're listening to this, to be honest, it's all over and done with and we're probably just getting on it at the pub. But don't forget to listen to Radio Hauraki. Are you all good, man? Oh, just a coffee went down the wrong way there, fellas. Monday to Friday between 4 and 7 in the evenings. It is the Hauraki Big Show, all right? remember that always remember that yeah get it in you yeah we'll see you later