OUTRO: Carb-Loading

0:00For all you mad bastards loving the Big Show podcast, get up even closer on Instagram, YouTube and TikTok or Raw Doggy. 4 to 7 every weekday on Radio Horeke.

0:15Keyzie:Yeah. How's it going? Good thanks fellas, how are you? Really great. Thanks man. How was your burger, Keyzie? Looked pretty delicious.

0:24Mike Minogue:It was really yum, I needed to eat that because I had no energy. Oh really, but you're falling apart. Yeah, because I had brekkie and then I hadn't eaten since brekkie. Wow. And I had lots of water. What did you have for brekkie? Baked beans on Vogels. Toast. Toast, Vogels, toast though. Is that what you're saying? You're saying Vogels instead of toast. Yeah, because toast for me is Molenberg. But when I'm feeling pretty extra, like I need some extra sustenance, I'll go the Vogels. Right. Yeah. Do you ever have Vogels? That's all I have. All right. Occasionally the Molenberg, but that's a bigger slice of bread, so I feel like any extra sustenance is probably equaled out.

0:57Mike Minogue:Yeah. It's bigger but it feels flimsier Oh it's flimsier Like I have to toast my Vogels twice On five And then butter and then beans Beans yeah Half a turn of beans Because people say that about their cars don't they It's not a car anymore it's a Mercedes You've got to take the Mercedes in to get a warrant Oh yeah you've got to take the Honda out You don't say that do you you say the car So you're getting even more specific Because you're saying the Tita Yeah for the radio I do Oh, the TeeDee, that's right, the model. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Yes. Do you think you'll ever start saying, I've got to take the 07 TeeDee?

1:33I'm not sure it is an 07. I think it's earlier than that. Is it? But one day, hopefully I can upgrade. Yeah, yeah, yeah. I thought you were upgrading.

1:40Keyzie:Weren't you going to upgrade? We upgraded. Oh, you did. Yeah. But then we got, oh, forgot about her. Wee wee. Yeah, see, see.

1:50Mike Minogue:That's so weird for the listeners right now. And then we got it. So I'll tell you what happened was we got this hybrid, right? Yes. Because you could get a loan and it was 0%. And it's like, well, actually, after our accountant did all the math, it's going to cost you like five grand over five years, you know?

2:11Keyzie:Yeah. Which is all good. But we chose the car. We were told it was going to take us no time to get the money. But then it turned out you had to go through a full application process, like you were buying a house. Right. which was a bit of a ball ache. And I had nothing to do with it really. The missus was on it. And so after a while, determined that, oh, no, actually they don't do that loan for hybrids. They only do it for full electrical wheels. Oh, right. So initially it was hybrids, but then they changed it last year to only be electrical. So then we now had a car that didn't qualify for this loan.

2:47Oh, really? Yeah. Oh, yeah. and so went through a palaver with that.

2:55Mike Minogue:Because you haven't mentioned it much because usually you'd be like, oh. Well, we've got the car but what we've done is we've now ordered a fully electrical one, electric one, not electrical, it's electric. You sound like my granddad. And we're keeping the hybrid until the other one which we've had to order turns up in November at some point. But that's a nice, good car and it's better I think. I like it more than the one we've got. But, yeah, it was just a bit of a shambles.

3:21Keyzie:It just occurs to me that I realise now that I have no interactions with banks anymore. Right. Like back in the day, they were fraught with all sorts of, you know, going to a bank to try and get money out of the bastards. It was a very stressful time. But I haven't dealt with a bank for a long, long time. I haven't had to deal with a bank for a long, long time. What about a sperm bank? Oh, no, I stopped there in my mid-30s. What about a wank bank? Oh, no, that's still going. I invest heavily in that. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Yeah, yeah. I'm beating off all the time. Oh, okay. Okay. You guys. What? The Hauraki Big Show, weekdays from four on Radio Hauraki.

4:08Mike Minogue:The Hauraki Big Show podcast.

4:10Keyzie:It's really good for the prostate to beat off.

4:13Mike Minogue:You can't just use the prostate as an excuse to do all sorts, all manner of depraved things. Yeah, exactly. Like beating off. That's disgusting. Well, no.

4:20Keyzie:I suggested to you the other day, Keezy, I was saying going for a walk is good for the prostate.

4:25Mike Minogue:After dinner, specifically. Yes, after you've eaten. Yeah, which I'll be doing tonight because we're out of milk. Do you massage the prostate while you're going for a walk? No.

4:33Keyzie:Speaking of milk. I just leave it. I just leave it, and then I massage it when I get home.

4:38Mike Minogue:So, like, today, for example, I was like, oh, we're out of milk. I can get some on the way home. But instead I said, how about we go for a walk after dinner and get some? Because we've got a corner store. Yes. A little walk away. And she's like, it's a great idea. That's good stuff. Yeah. And then I said, it's good for my prostate. Yeah. And then she said, yuck.

4:54Keyzie:That's not an option for me because our store is literally like 40 metres from our house. Yeah, but he's dead, isn't he? That doesn't really qualify as, no, I had a good tattoo today. He's pretty traumatised. I imagine so. What happened? Well, some dudes came into his dairy and smacked the shit out of him.

5:09Mike Minogue:Oh, really?

5:10Keyzie:Yeah, on Sunday. Really? Yeah. On your Sunday there. Blood and blood all over the floor. I actually arrived about a couple of minutes after it happened. It was not good. Holy cow. Couldn't get his vape jersey, is he? And interestingly, it was really, really telling because I was having a chat to him at the dairy today and a car pulled up. I had a really loud exhaust, you know, like a real kind of rough wagon. A waff wagon. And he had a look in his eye of fear. and have anxiety. And I went, I get that, man. You must be constantly on edge going. Because this happened on the Sunday afternoon at like 2 o 'clock in the day.

5:50Keyzie:Yeah.

5:51Mike Minogue:And were they trying to get stuff off him?

5:53Keyzie:Yeah, there was about four or five of them and they just ripped shit off the shelves. And they beat him up. Yeah, or he doesn't take a backward step. He comes out with a cricket bat. Yeah, right, okay. And they laid into him. And what did he get in the end? What were his injuries? Got a smashed hand. And they smashed his hand. and he got some bruising down his chest. Right. Yeah.

6:14Mike Minogue:Fuck, that sucks, eh? It really sucks. Poor dude.

6:16Keyzie:But anyway, to get back to toast chat. Yeah, man. I have plowmans today. I have plowmans. Oh, yeah. Which is my wife's favourite. I'm not a big fan.

6:25Mike Minogue:Your wife's favourite is plowmans. Plowmans. It's a very thick cut.

6:28Keyzie:Yeah. And it's an annoying shape. It is an annoying shape. You have to cut it in half and put it on either side because it doesn't toast the whole thing, does it? My toaster does. Oh, you've got one of those long bastards. You've got a plowmans toaster. It's just a regular toaster. No, it's not. No, it's not. It's a highfalutin, bloody fancy boy toaster. It's because you guys have many bits of toast. But I prefer a Vogel's, and like you, Keezy, I have to double cook it.

6:51Mike Minogue:So it's crispy. Why do you prefer a Vogel's but eat Plowman's?

6:55Keyzie:Well, because my wife buys the Plowman's when she's buying bread.

6:58Mike Minogue:Yeah.

6:58Keyzie:And when I'm buying the bread, I'll buy you a Vogel's. You sneaky bastard. Or honey oat tip top. Gross. With the little honey oat in it.

7:07Mike Minogue:Do you keep your Vogels in the freezer? No. I'm asking Moggy. I do, yes. Yeah, same. Because otherwise we have it for too long and it goes mouldy. Yeah, right. It does go mouldy quick, eh, Vogels? That's the good thing about Vogels is it actually goes off, which tells you there's less preservatives in it, Keezy. All the other breeds last forever and they don't go off because they're full of shit. What does preservative do? Preserves it. What does preservative do? Preserves it. Stops it going off. Oh, wow. Preservative.

7:35Keyzie:Yes. Preserve. And is it bad for you? Yes. Well, generally, if you're putting shit in to make things last longer, it's not a good thing. It's like chips. You remember chips, Jase? I haven't had any for so long. But do you remember them? That's actually a lie. Back in the day, they'd always go stale real quick. Yes. And especially your Eater chips, your Eater ripples, you'd open them up, they'd already be stale. They came pre-stale. Oh, wow. But since then, there's been so many more preservatives allowed in food that you can leave them out for fucking weeks. Well, that's why I hardly eat potato chips.

8:08No, I don't go near them.

8:09Keyzie:Neither. I bought a packet of Popper Jacks today in a moment of weakness. Did you drive your - Fuck, I was effing at Jeff and I went, I want to go and get some Popper Jacks. Instead of a packet of darts.

8:21Mike Minogue:Instead of darts, yeah. Did you drive your Wuff Ragon to go buy some -

8:26Keyzie:No, because as I -

8:27Mike Minogue:To go buy some Popper Jacks?

8:28Keyzie:As I previously mentioned, my dairy's only about 30 metres away. Yeah, yeah. So I walked up.