OUTRO: Charitable Sorts

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0:15Keyzie:Oh, g'day, fellas. Backbone. Hello. Hello. You're like this. Here we go. I got stiffed coming into work today. Not for the first time in your life. Am I right? Someone shagged you. Has there been anywhere that you haven't been stiffed, man? There was a guy about 15 metres ahead of me, right, unloading stuff out of his truck. Yeah, he was. And he spotted me, and he broke out into this huge smile and started jogging towards me. And I had my headphones on. You think you're a little bit hot. Yeah, maybe. But then as he got close to me, he went to do the high five, and I went to high five him, and he put his hand down.

0:54Keyzie:That is so good. Really? And I was like, oh, man. And he cracked up. He fucking stiffed me, man. Got you good. Did you swing through with it? Yeah, I deduced him. Yeah. No, I mean, did you, he put the high five up and did you go to, oh, no. I swished the air. How embarrassing. Good one. So did he then say like, oh, no, just joking, man. Yeah, he did, but I felt like it was. It's too late by then, eh? By then I'd already humiliated myself. You know what I'm saying, fellas?

1:23Mike Minogue:I like it because it doesn't matter who you are and you're a big deal.

1:25Keyzie:I am. You can be brought crashing down to earth. Not a day goes by when I don't, you know, get some sort of interaction with the punters out there.

1:35Mike Minogue:Fuck, man.

1:36Keyzie:Hoity J. What a legend. A number one.

1:38Mike Minogue:I reckon at least three or four days would go by for me.

1:41Keyzie:I would completely agree. Yeah, but you're not in the CBD with hundreds of people every day. That's also true. Yeah, that's true. You know what I mean? That's also true. You're out in the dark depths of West Auckland. No one goes out on the streets there, man. It's too dangerous. True.

1:54Mike Minogue:I love what you're doing here because you're trying to wind me up because you know that I'm right on the fringe of West Auckland and proud to be part of West Auckland, but you've come in from so far out west. You know what I mean? Yeah. I see you, Jase, man. But look at me, CBDB.

2:11Keyzie:I'm proud of my West Auckland heritage, man. It's not heritage. It's who you are, Jase. I'm just glad to get out of there. That's all I'm saying, man. Yeah, because based on the stories. If you can't get out, get out.

2:20Mike Minogue:The stories you've been telling me, it sounds like things have gotten way better.

2:23Keyzie:Yeah, it's true. I was telling the fellas, actually, it was my loudest night in the city last night, a massive party at about 2 o 'clock in the morning, about 10 metres from my bedroom window. So is it out in the park with a big speaker? Yeah, with a big boom box, about 20 dudes just on the piss, screaming and laughing at each other. Having a good time? Having a great time. Fuck, that sounds awesome. It was like peak part. If you walked into a party at peak time. What day of the week was that, Tuesday? Tuesday. Wow. On the steps, fucking to the park. I was effing and jeffing, I can tell you. And then someone having a massive breakdown at about five.

2:59Keyzie:So that wasn't so cool either. Doesn't happen in Westall?

3:02Mike Minogue:No, it does. All the time. Yeah, I'm surprised that your building mates, your neighbours that live in that building, because they're stuck up, rich bastards.

3:13Keyzie:No, they're lovely people, Mogi, that listen to this podcast. That's not what you said, man. That's not what you said. But I'm surprised that they don't seem to react in any way, shape or form? Is it because they're elderly and deaf or is it they're just used to it? Oh, no, they do. But they don't leave their apartments.

3:29Mike Minogue:I reckon there's a part of them that loves it.

3:30Keyzie:And also, yes, and also a lot are on the other side. So we're on the side right next to the park. Most of them are on the other side of that. So they're not getting the direct in-your-face through-the-window stuff.

3:45Mike Minogue:Yeah. I was Wednesday last week, I think it was, This Wednesday I was walking down to do my gaming potty there, which involves me walking through the CBD.

3:53Keyzie:That is such a good podcast, by the way. Extremely Casual Gamers. So good.

3:56Mike Minogue:It's on TVNZ now, man. It's on TVNZ Plus. It's a TV show, yeah. Oh, how good. I'll tell you who hasn't got a TV show on TVNZ Plus, and that's old Horty Jay. He's probably got a few on there, Dog Squad. Yeah, true. He's got heaps. But I was walking through one of the parks. Talkback's on there, Jase. Yeah, man. What's that? Walking through one of the parks, and it would have been 12 p.m. on a Wednesday, and there was a group of about five, six, seven dudes setting up for a party. Boxes, 24 boxes of beers, lime reds, big boom box. They were just connecting up to it, having a durry. And as I walked past them, they looked at me and I did the old eyebrows like, hey, you know, like we're all good here.

4:33Mike Minogue:How did you do it like that? I was like a sort of like, oh, if I didn't have a podcast, I'd be here. You know what I mean? On the past with you fellas. One of the young guys just goes, hey. And I was like, what's up, man? and he goes, love your show, bro. Oh, man. Yeah, and I was like, thanks, man. He's like, yeah, it's funny as, hey, anyway, have a good day. And I was like, yeah, cool, all right. That was pretty good with Bueller yesterday being effervescently into Moon TV.

4:59Keyzie:Oh, yes. Was that off air or on air? Off air. Off air, like losing his shit. Over the moon about Moon TV. Yes. That was fucking unreal. And this is what I love. These little enclaves, Keezy, like whenever I walk home or you're walking up to work, you know, by that Sky City area, Mogi, where they're partying down, you know, most nights. Yeah. That's where I got hit with the pie. Yes. It's a dangerous area there. Fuck, I want to see that. There's like four or five people just getting on it, you know, and smoking big doobies and fucking sinking the piss. They don't give a shit, man.

5:34Mike Minogue:And Jace is thinking, man, that's living. That's it. Totally I am.

5:37Keyzie:That'd be great. That's the dream. And then you go past. You didn't have this job. You go past in the morning and they're asleep on the bus fucking shelter seat. Yeah, but for the grace of God goes for working Joe. Yeah, totally, man. Yeah, totally.

5:51Mike Minogue:The Hauraki Big Show, weekdays from four on Radio Hauraki. The Hauraki Big Show podcast. This job's not holding you back. This is a three-hour job. You could imagine, look, if you were living in one of those bus shelters, how close the commute would be. That's true, man. And you could commute from the party outside your house to your house.

6:09Keyzie:I mean, you guys would be all right if I came in to do the show steamed. Oh. You'd be all right with that, eh? Oh, I wouldn't be out of the ordinary for hodaki? We've also still got to do our Big Show Green special.

6:24Mike Minogue:What's that? Oh, Basil. Yeah, our Basil special. That's a fucking couple of years old. Yeah, I'm keen. We were supposed to do it at your bloody... Oh, that's right.

6:32Keyzie:Yeah, well, we kind of did, but Mogi wasn't there. Yeah, Mogi had COVID and then did a bit of work. That's right, I did have COVID. That's right. I was sick as a fucking doll. Should we do that again? Should we try it again, fellas? I'd love to. I'd love to. Yeah, okay. Especially over winter. It'd be great. I'm still fucking spewing about that. We're looking for something to do for our 10-year wedding anniversary. I wanted to go back and stay at, because we got married at Pencarrow Lodge down in Wellington. Oh, yeah. So Pencarrow Lodge, if you're in the harbour, it's the lighthouse on the other side of the harbour there.

7:04And they had like a little house that we stayed in. It's a long haul getting out there, Keezy. Look out across the South Island, across the Cook Strait. Stunning. But I thought they might have done up the little shed we stayed in because we got in there that night after the shindig and the power cut out after about two minutes, so that was it. But it looks like it's been, I don't know, sold or something or other. All right. But that would have been great to go back there after 10 years and do that and have our family look after our kid. I highly recommend. Anybody out there can recommend. I want ocean views.

7:35Mike Minogue:I highly recommend. the place we went to it depends how you and your wife are with doing nothing because it is awesome to me we won't be doing nothing when we get on the piss my wife was I was talking to my brother last night I said I'm coming over for magic round I'll be getting on it there trying to take the rest of the year off my wife went past and said no you're on it for our wedding anniversary well fair enough too I think fair enough I think fair enough it's unreal She doesn't want – because probably if I was sober, I'd probably do a bit of work. Funny that. I can imagine you, for some reason, you've got your wedding suit on again and you're just doing a bit of work while she's hammered.

8:15Keyzie:It's really funny because I knew this person, and I'm not going to give too many details because it might become obvious, and he was in a relationship. He gave up the piss for like two years. Wow. And his partner said, you're so fucking boring now. Oh, that was Mogi. You're so fucking boring. Yeah. You should just get back on it again. And so he did and just went massively downhill. Yeah. And the whole relationship combusted. Which is effectively what my wife thinks as well. You know, yeah. Yeah, she said if you don't drink, then you don't sit down, which is 100 % true. Yes. Because if I'm drinking, that's what I'm doing.

8:57Yeah. Like everything else in my life, I'm giving it a hundy. Yes. I'm trying to drink better than anyone's ever drunk before.

9:04Keyzie:You know, and the tendency is too when you don't drink, because you don't go out. Yes. I don't want to fucking go out and sit with people getting on the piss. It's just too much. Well, I go out for half an hour. Yeah, or an hour or something. There's no point. But, yeah. Yeah. Good shit. It's good shit, eh, fellas? But I just thought that was a classic sort of thing of, you know, going, oh, you're so boring now. Okay, well, I'll get back on it. Yeah, you'll ask for it. Yeah, and then it's like, oh. How's this for exciting? You're terrible when you drink piss. Let's break up. Yeah. Now I'm addicted again.

9:36Mike Minogue:Yeah, thank you. So in that situation, I've lost my job. In that situation, maybe that's when they should have gone, oh, maybe we aren't the right fit for each other if I have to be drunk for you. That's right, if you need me to drink. But then the conversation would have been, well, just have a couple. You don't have to get wasted. And then the feeling would have been, well, I mean, I guess I've been off it for a couple of years. I've probably broken my own cycle. Let's give it a go. Next minute, you're in the gutter. Yeah. Covered in your own jizz. I thought you were going to say wheeze, but jizz.

10:02Keyzie:Up at Sky City there at the bus stop.

10:05Mike Minogue:Fuck yeah. I feel bad for, I see a lot of elderly tourists walking around and getting like, you know, being visibly quite scared in the Auckland CBD. Yeah, right. And fair enough too. Oh, yeah. It sucks. Well, look, I've been hit in the middle of the chest with a pie. You know, by an elderly homeless gentleman who thought it was the funniest thing ever and was right. It kind of was the funnest thing ever. It was amazing.

10:32Keyzie:It's all in the eyes too, Keezy. You've got to just check out when you're walking towards someone and they're not in a good space. Eye contact's not good.

10:41Mike Minogue:Yeah, I feel like you're a shocker for that.

10:43Keyzie:No, I'm good at reading people and going, okay, this fella's having a bad day. I need to just give him a bit of space.