OUTRO: Commercial Keyzie

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0:16Keyzie:Yeah man. Hi guys, man. How are we going team? Pretty good. I was just adjusting my computer, I don't know why, I never look at it. No. I never use it. Suck it in the bin. I might as well. I think Minaya might be a bit upset if I did that.

0:29Mike Minogue:Well, he uses it because it's there to be used for texts and various radio reasons. All right, Kegzy, tell us about your big ad, buddy. How did it go? I'm tired now, though. Yeah, it's a lot of mental strain, man, all those lines performing. Also, towards the end, when we were doing takes towards the end, the lines just wouldn't stick in my brain. Yeah. All morning, sweet as. Big long ones about admin this, admin that, sweet as. and then towards the end I was just like, okay, I'm running out of mental juice here. Do you think it was the heat maybe? Did you fire it up at some of the crew? No, it was very nice to the crew because I know you guys said that what you guys do is be assholes to the crew.

1:11Well, yeah, I mean, sort of like that Christian Bale tape, you know, where he blows up at the cinematographer. Yes. You and me, we're done, man. Yeah. You're a fucking amateur.

1:23Mike Minogue:Yeah, now, fortunately I knew one of the guys, JD that used to work here that shot out Py Kings and all that. Yeah, right, right, right. He was part of the crew. I didn't realise you had lines.

1:32Keyzie:I had lines. I would have been a lot more anxious for you had I'd known that.

1:35Mike Minogue:No, but it was good, though, because the lines were very much, this is what we want you to say, say it how you'd say it. Yeah. Yeah, yeah. So I was like, oh, my God's keen.

1:43Keyzie:They wanted to be real keasy.

1:45Mike Minogue:They wanted to be authentic. Don't you know they wanted to be authentic, man? Yeah, they wanted me to be authentic, man. Yeah. But no, it was all good. But yeah, as I say, tired now. Like, really being attentive for that long. And then you're sitting there and they're like, hey, so we'll get you there. And then you sit back up and you're like, all right. And then they're like, oh, you're good, man, because I'm just sitting there quietly. I'm like, no, I'm just conserving energy.

2:03Keyzie:I'm just conserving my energy, man.

2:04Mike Minogue:Yeah, yeah.

2:05Keyzie:It can be very draining. It's more the, for me, it's not the acting part. It's the sitting around that's draining.

2:12Mike Minogue:Yeah, right.

2:13Keyzie:You know, when you're just going, oh, God. And it's an hour and a half before you shoot something and then they take 50 minutes to set it up. That's the boring shit. The best bit is that you get called to sit nine hours. Beforehand. But you've got to be there. You can't stay home. You've got to go in there and be there. Yes. And I know why, but it still annoys me.

2:30Mike Minogue:Yeah, it's annoying. I mean, I was there at 7.30, not too bad, this morning, on the North Shore, way up on the North Shore at Browns Bay. Oh, yeah, Browns Bay. Beautiful. And I didn't start doing anything until 8.30.

2:41Keyzie:Oh, that's pretty quick. That's actually pretty quick. That's real quick. And I was like, oh, here we go.

2:44Mike Minogue:That's great. Hurry up and wait, is the old saying, apparently, in TV and film. That's fast. Wardrobe, make-up, a bit of a chit-chat. But I actually helped set up the tent, helped carry some gear. Oh, don't do that. I wanted to. It's better than just sitting around doing nothing. They don't actually like you doing that. Genuinely, they don't. I used to be the same, especially because I'd come from being part of the crew. And so everything I did, I knew the crew. And then you're like, oh, no, I'm not going to. But they just want you to sit down and shut the fuck up so they know where you are. They don't want you making your own coffee.

3:16They don't want you helping out. Yes. And it took me a long time to learn that. Same. It's same, actually.

3:20Mike Minogue:This particular crew is not the same crew as what you're thinking of. Yeah, it was probably a very small crew. It was super chill.

3:25Keyzie:I remember when I was doing Hercules or Xena or one of those and there was an American actress in it who was my love interest. Roseanne Barr. I can't remember her name. Who's that? She's an American comedian. But at one point we were in between scenes and I went to pick up something to help one of the crew. And she went, what the fuck are you doing? And I was like, what? And she said, no, don't do that. That's for the crew to do. They hate it when you do that. And I went, oh, okay. That's actually different because in the States, it's all guilds and unions. Yes. So you're literally not allowed to help anyone with a light standard.

4:14It's the same in the UK. Yes. So it's a bit different. It is a bit different than that.

4:17Keyzie:What a weird rule. Why is that? It is a weird rule. Because you're taking a job off somebody. That's their job. And they don't want you hurting yourself. Like picking up something and maybe cutting your hand or something. It's like, oh, fuck. That's right. Old helpy boys fucked it.

4:31Mike Minogue:That's very opposite of how humans should operate, though. Well, it's different to how it works in New Zealand. But in New Zealand, we're not unionised. Yeah. Right. Because today, for example, they was trying to set up this easy up thing. And there were three people doing it. It required a fourth person on the fourth corner. So I jumped on the corner there, helped them out. Sweet as.

4:50Keyzie:What would have happened if you had sliced your finger off? They would have been fucked.

4:54Mike Minogue:Doing what? Setting up an easy up. Those are lethal bastards, man. The way they shut it down, you know? If I slice my finger off, setting up an easy up.

5:03Keyzie:Like they go up and down, Kizzy.

5:05Mike Minogue:You could slice a finger off. Stop beating off an imaginary giant penis with your hands there. No, it was one of those ones where you put the sticks together. You click all the sticks together, and then you put them through, and it sort of bends into a circle.

5:16Keyzie:Oh, okay. So not a proper easy up there.

5:19Mike Minogue:No, if I cut my hand doing that, then I deserve to have no hand.

5:22Keyzie:Well, I mean, one of the coils might have sprung out and taken one of your eye out. It's true, though. Yeah, but I mean... It was where the risk was from. It was keen to concern.

5:32Mike Minogue:The Hauraki Big Show, weekdays from four on Radio Hauraki. The Hauraki Big Show podcast. The thing is, I'm not comfortable sitting around and watching other people do all the work.

5:44Keyzie:Well, no one is, but it's just the way it is. Right. It's something you have to get used to.

5:48Mike Minogue:But also I read the vibe of the situation. The vibe was, hey, give it up out. Gee, man. Yeah. And it was sweet as. Good on you, man.

5:55Keyzie:Yeah, well, as you're aging, I'm going to have to tear a strip off them for letting you do that. That's really bad practice.

6:02Mike Minogue:I can't believe that's bad practice. This is – I don't like that.

6:05Keyzie:No. Well, it is how it is, man.

6:07Mike Minogue:Yeah. Interesting. Because in radio, for example, I feel like that's not how we operate. You all good? Who's tired? Yeah. It's not how we operate. If you see people doing stuff, traditionally you help out. Yes.

6:21Keyzie:Oh, I mean, I wouldn't even do it for radio myself. No, I've noticed. I mean, I just leave that to the filth. Though I have offered with pugs occasionally, I've gone, do you need a hand packing stuff into the car? And he's like, no, no. Yes. No, no, leave it, please. And I'm like, okay. All right, fine. All right, pout. I mean, I don't put up a fight. Let's put it that way. Yeah, that's right. I'm quite happy for him to do it all. Yeah. And then I can just piss off and do whatever I'm doing. You know what I'm saying, Keezy?

6:44Mike Minogue:How was the lawn today, man? Good. What'd you do? You said you were doing lawn admin. I want to know what that is.

6:50Keyzie:Well, just mowing the lawns and also trimming the edges. Push mower? Push mower, yeah. Push mower. And the old weed eater.