OUTRO: Couch Time With Me, Keyzie

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0:16Keyzie:G'day fellas. Backstack. Fellas.

0:21Mike Minogue:Hello. Morning. Hello.

0:24Keyzie:I've noticed, Smokey, the time, if you're curious, 5.46am. Oh, Keezy. He's taken to bringing in little brekkie packages. Oh, has he? Yesterday he had the Chia Bata bun, of course, with chicken and a bit of cracked pepper and salt. Can I say the famous? The famous.

0:48Mike Minogue:What? I made a chicken bun.

0:50Keyzie:And today he's got a really nicely prepared little bowl of, it looks like, is it granola? It's not granola. It's something, but it's got a little bit of fruit, a little bit of sort of eggy. What is it? You could just ask me what it is. What is it, Keezy? No, keep going. You're describing it perfectly.

1:11Mike Minogue:My wife last night. I knew it was your wife. Of course it was her. She was like, I might make some overnight oats or something. And I was like, oh, could I have one as well? And she's like, oh, yeah. And then because she was making me one, she went all out. Right. And made a chia pudding. Chia, thank you. Chia seed pudding with coconut milk and then stewed some strawberries. And then she was in the kitchen for half an hour. I was like, okay, well, this seems like I've asked you to do a massive job now. She just wants to do a good job for you, Kizzy. She loves you. Yeah, she does. It was very cute.

1:41Mike Minogue:And I'll obviously taste it first. And then I'll throw it out. Before you sort of make any judgment on it. I'm going to eat a pie. Yeah, get in here, you fucking baby.

1:52Keyzie:I left my wife this morning and she was wide awake. What? Oh, dude. Look, it's time, you know. Got to get in there first. It's time to move on, fellas. It's been a lot of time. We've been together for a long time. No, but she was wide awake. Yeah? She was effing and jeffing around the place? No, I was very quiet. In actual fact, she said to me yesterday, I didn't hear you at all yesterday morning. Jeez, that's good shit. And I went, wow, that's good, darling. That's good. I might be having that chat when I get home because I woke up at quarter past three first, went back to sleep, woke up, fellas looked at my time, five o 'clock.

2:26Wow. I'm set for 5.15, got up, out the room.

2:29Mike Minogue:Happy days. Happy days. Had to change my alarm, though. Well, I didn't have to, but I did. Yeah. Even though it hasn't gone off, so I'm not sure what it's like. But God, they've got some funny bastards on there. Do you want an alarm chat today on the show? I think we probably could. Yeah, we should. There are some funny ones on there. Some real aggressive bastards.

2:44Keyzie:I set my alarm for four. because I don't like to be rushed. It seems like you just woke up a minute ago. Yeah, it kind of does. And I was saying to Pugs, actually, I woke up at three today because there were some backbones on the path right outside our window. Just having a bit of a sing-along, some Maori songs there. Poie was one of them. Poie? Yeah. Poie.

3:09Mike Minogue:Oh, wow.

3:10Keyzie:Poie. The trouble is. Poie. Yay. The trouble, I've got a, well, you know I'm actually old Tom Scott there. What's that? Yes. Yes. They had lived in a place for a long time on Queen Street. It might be a city life, actually. I know the exact place you're talking of, yes. But it's very high in the air. Yeah. Well, it's a penthouse. It was. And it was rental, Keezy, again. But 20 or 30 stories up. Yeah, it was bloody high. And it doesn't help with the noise at all. Wow, really? Oh, fucking bangs around and gums off. I couldn't sleep there either. It's almost like sort of noise rises, like heat. Yeah.

3:49Keyzie:You know what I mean? Hot noise. Can I say, Jase, that it reverberates? Yes. I have to say in the joint that we're in, it's pretty good. It's not that often that I get woken up by people. It seems like it's weekly. You must be a good sleeper. Yeah. It is weekly. Because you've had cowbell, you've had fucking poie. Yeah, that was this morning. Yeah, the cowbell, I was already awake, fortunately. Oh, yeah. And they were just walking down the street with it. Resentmentally, I've named my street. Because there's so many fights and biffo on that street.

4:21Mike Minogue:And you definitely love it.

4:23Keyzie:Yeah, I swear to God I do. All right, because you don't have to convince us. And my wife and I, man, well, for example, like last night we had our dinner, homemade pizzas, which were delicious, by the way. Yum. And anyway, it was about 8 o 'clock, and I said to my wife, fancy a little walk, my love? And she went, yeah, let's do it. Right. Right out into the city, into the square there.

4:46Mike Minogue:So she grabbed a cowbell and went out the door.

4:48Keyzie:And there's a big sort of thing for Matariki at the moment down in the square, and it's just big video kind of set up. Very impressive. I liked it.

4:59Mike Minogue:Is it like a big TV wall thing?

5:02Keyzie:It's like about six different screens. Oh, wow. Which sort of interact with each other. You like the sound of that, Keezy? I do. Wow. It was very cool. I think it's cool. So we watched that. You're blown away by the... Oh, wow. Six of them. Fellas! And then I said to my wife, would you fancy a bit of frozen yoghurt, darling? Oh, yeah. She went, now you're talking. She's a pilot on the calories, Jase. Now you're talking. Pizza, yoghurt. Good for you, brother. But we're walking it off. So we did that and then wandered home eating our frozen yoghurt. I love it, Keezy.

5:33Mike Minogue:Right. The Hauraki B Show, weekdays from four on Radio Hauraki. The Hauraki Big Show Podcast.

5:42Keyzie:In fact, my wife and I were talking the other day. We said, if we could buy it, would we?

5:46Mike Minogue:I think you'd wait till the repairs have been done. I think you wouldn't because you run the risk of falling in love with the first thing you come across. That's true. If you go and have a look at other apartments. Yes, absolutely. And really exhaust it, you know? Yeah, totally.

5:59Keyzie:Be exhausted. But speaking of which, I got it wrong yesterday. We've got two. Jesus. We've got two tradies coming over today, which is a bit of a bull-like because...

6:10Mike Minogue:I've got tradies coming today as well.

6:12Keyzie:It's just a... My wife actually, because you asked, did I know a plumber? And actually in the back of my mind I went, actually I do know a plumber. And my wife got in contact with your wife. With my wife, yes. Is that the plumber you're using? I don't know. He's a good bastard if he is. Good bastard. Oh, wow. Shocking plumber. But he's a good bastard. Yeah, totally. Fuck, he doesn't know. We're going to be having trade chat today, by the way. Pipes from his fucking anus is old, mate. Shit, yeah. But what point was I about to make there? Oh, it's that really fucking annoying thing where they go between 10 and 4.

6:48Keyzie:What have you got on? Well, but I like to go out and do things. Frozen yogurt, mate. He wants to go look at the TV. I like to go down and walk around and get the city vibes. It is a ball. What I say in those instances, jizzmeister, is give me a 30, that's fine, but I need a 30-minute warning. And then they call or text 30 minutes before. So you don't have to be there. Good idea, that.

7:09Mike Minogue:My issue isn't, we've discussed it several times on the show, is what am I going to do while the tradies are at my house working on my bathroom? You could put on a skimpy little apron and stuff and make them some chia seed pudding. Yeah, yeah. My wife wasn't wearing a skimpy apron, right? Yeah, I know. But you were thinking to yourself where she was. Yeah, yeah, yeah. So now you know how to please a man. I was drinking. Now you know how to please a man, Keezy. I was drinking a beer on the couch and playing PlayStation. So I was actually stoked.

7:36Keyzie:With your little button mushroom blowing to the side.

7:43Keyzie:That's funny. No, no, no, stop, stop, stop, stop.

7:48Mike Minogue:What is that? Why is that? It needs to be mentioned. Because of Blue Dream. You've got no pants on. Oh, my nude. Is that what it is? Yeah, totally. Oh, I had no idea. I was like, no, I was fully clothed. Because you were remembering what happened as opposed to, you know. No, because I'm just sitting there fully clothed, having a beer, and my butt and mushroom was falling to the side.

8:11Keyzie:When he came in today, Moggy, Kesey had his pants undone and he had his fist down his leg. What? Why is a fist? You fucking going about shit. I'm just describing what happened. Oh, God. And he said, oh, something keeps pricking my leg, and I don't know what it is.

8:31Mike Minogue:And then Jase said. Is that your prick? Is that your little button mushroom? Oh, yeah. So it's on his mind. It's on his mind. Yeah, yeah, yeah. He's got my downstairs on his mind. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Fuck, you wake up quick coming in and doing this, eh? It's good, though, eh?

8:45Keyzie:I think so. Yeah, but I find myself falling back to sleep very quickly in my head.

8:50Mike Minogue:That's a shame.

8:51Keyzie:You know what I mean?

8:52Mike Minogue:What do you mean?

8:53Keyzie:Well, I mean, I have bursts of energy. Yeah, and then my head goes, fuck this shit.

9:02Mike Minogue:I woke up this morning and thought, fuck this shit, I'm done with breakfast. And then as soon as I was out of bed. Really? Yeah. Because it was so cold. Was it? And I woke up from dead asleep. Right. Oh, no, fuck. And I was like, fuck this. And then as soon as I was out of bed and in the bathroom and the shower was on, I was like, oh, no, this is all G. This is great. Yeah, and I was thinking I might just continue to wake up at this time. So was I, actually. And get up and either go to the gym or get stuff done. Because I love it. But the problem is, of course, you've got the show at the end of the day and you're buggered by then.