OUTRO: Culinary King Keyzie

0:00When I needed you most, I had the name of you. When I needed you more, you might need more. Fortis, fortis, every winter on Radio Hurt.

0:17Keyzie:Someday, the heat from the clouds, the next day, it's rolling down. G'day, fellas.

0:27Mike Minogue:G'day. Hey, guys, bit of Dave Dobbin there.

0:29Keyzie:Yeah, a bit of Dave Dobbin. Sir Dave Dobbin. Were we just playing some of that on one of the shows there? Yeah.

0:36Mike Minogue:Prebs is playing it currently. Good stuff.

0:38Keyzie:I don't mind a bit of Dave Dobbin. He loves it. Yeah, he does. Language, Jase.

0:43Mike Minogue:In front of the language. That's right. Do you like Dave Dobbin, Keezy? Big Dave Dobbin fan. Yes. A little Yoda-looking freak, isn't he? Who, Dave Dobbin? Yeah, not you. It doesn't matter what he looks like, man. It's about his music. I didn't say it, did you? I don't know. So I think he's, isn't he doing a big tour this summer? Probably, man. Every summer old Sir Dave Dobbins out there pumping out the old hits. My mum had a best of Dave Dobbins CD when I was young, whenever we drove to school. And I'd always request. Sitting in your booster seat. Yeah, in my booster seat there. No, I'd always request Outlook for Thursday.

1:18Mike Minogue:I hate that one. Outlook for Thursday. Are you like whaling? Well, I'm whaling out on the street. And then, of course, his classic one, Da Da Da with Herbs. No, I don't like that one. Okay, cool. Well, I'm telling my story. Which one? Da Da Da. That's sort of in the Stairway to Heaven, November Rain. You've heard it too much, but it's a classic. At the time, it was the most amazing thing that ever happened.

1:48Keyzie:I like his more angsty tunes.

1:50Mike Minogue:Yeah, of course, but this is when I was like eight. Just a little fella. Just a little keasy. I bet it was probably your height at eight, Jase.

1:56Keyzie:You probably were. I wouldn't be surprised if you were. I was a squirt when I was a young one. You're a tough little bastard. Were you a pimp squeak? I was a pipsqueak. Yeah, I really was.

2:05Mike Minogue:Oh, my God. My pop used to say pipsqueak. Listen to me, pipsqueak. And he'd also say - Is it pipsqueak or pimp squeak? Pipsqueak. Pipsqueak. Pipsqueak. He'd also say, I'll be like, what are you having for dinner tonight, pop? What's on the dinner? With pop. With pop. And then he'd always say, oh, bubble and squeak. Which I don't know what that is. Is it sausages? Bubble and Squeak is rehashed dinner from the night before that generally contains, from memory, your mashed potatoes. Yes. It gets fried up. It's bloody good eating. It is actually good eating. I always wanted Mum to cook too much mashed potatoes so that it would taste good the next day.

2:38Yeah, right. With a bit of Bubble and Squeak.

2:39Keyzie:Because he always said, I didn't know what it was. It's interesting, isn't it? Because I was talking to my wife the other night about the British, you know, and what they like to eat and stuff. Your chips and so forth and your smash. What do they call them? The smashed pea? Mushy. mushy peas and stuff. And it's like, I look at the English diet and I go, God, it's so disgusting. They go to breakfast and they just eat chips and mushy peas and all sorts of crap.

3:03Mike Minogue:Have you been to the UK? I simply must. But that's the thing. You've never actually been over there. You don't even know. Yes, I have been there. Yes. What did you do over there? Was that with the ACC? I went to the UK for the old Rugby World Cup. Yes, I did. That's right. Yeah. Because the food over there is kind of good, I thought. Is it? Yeah, I enjoy it. Yeah, because, I mean, it's just really good roast. It's a really good version of New Zealand's food. Oh, the traditional stuff. Yeah, it's got all the food. And that was the other thing, of course, beans. Beans. They like their beans. Yeah, they like their baked beans.

3:33Do you guys like black pudding?

3:35Keyzie:Yes. Good. Thanks. Do you like black pudding, Keezy? It's basically coagulated blood.

3:41Mike Minogue:Nah, to be honest, no, I don't. I've got a thing where I can't eat stuff that grosses me out. Right. Even if it tastes nice, I can't separate it. Right. So, for example, what was one that we had? Chicken livers. I can eat pate, but not too much of it. Yeah, I had some sheep nuts, although that was surprisingly Moorish. You said they just rolled down your throat. Straight over your tongue and down the old hatch. Yeah. Did I say that to you? You stoked with that? Woo! Woo! No, I ordered a crocodile pizza once when I was in Aussie with Crow Goes Wild. Right. And I had one bite. I was like, nah, that's delicious, but I can't do it.

4:20Mike Minogue:Yeah, I ate crocodile. I can't do it. It was fine, but it's not something I'd eat. I just can't separate. Well, I can see a cow and go, yeah, fuck you, let's go. I can see a chicken and go, let's go, baby. But I can't see a crocodile and then go, yeah, let's do it.

4:32Keyzie:Yeah, I guess you look at a crocodile and immediately think tough and sinewy. Well, I would, but I don't know. I've never had it. Pretty good.

4:39Mike Minogue:And emu as well? Had emu? Yeah. Yeah, emu.

4:43Keyzie:You've had it? No. I've heard of them, though. I bet I've heard of them. I've seen one. I've seen a couple of the bastards, actually. He was going through the rubbish at your joint, wasn't he? He was, yeah. Was that Kim.com? Him as well. Well, Kim.com was right in the email. Was he? Yeah, get away faster. The Hauraki Big Show, weekdays from four on Radio Hauraki. The Hauraki Big Show podcast. I'm actually really surprised to hear that, Keezy, because I always consider your sort of diet as to be, you know, good, wholesome, simple fare. What do you mean? You know, your pizzas, your pork mints.

5:22Mike Minogue:I do like wholesome, simple food, but I'm also very outside the square when it comes to culinary, but it's always beef, chicken, pork.

5:29Keyzie:Well, I think you always lean to the spicy noodle range when you're hungover.

5:34Mike Minogue:Oh, absolutely. Aluxa when I'm hungover is my go-to cure. Yes. Or the eat-a-noodle cafe. Yeah, man.

5:40Keyzie:Do you have a favourite hangover food, Moggy? Like a fry-up or something like that? No it'd probably just be takeaways Yeah Like your burger Your classic burger joints Does the job for me That's the craving I generally get And then I'm always Bitterly disappointed once I eat it Yeah Even when I am eating it Like oh god See I'm not See people

6:00Mike Minogue:I remember people always say Oh you're eating fast food You always feel like shit Or you get bad And I'm like I literally never feel like shit afterwards No it always turns up And it's cold Or it's just shit Oh you don't go get it Yeah I insist on getting it I've only used Uber Eats twice because we had vouchers. Ah, right. You simply must. Why do you not use Uber Eats? I don't know. I've just got this thing about paying someone else. I don't know what it is. I'll always go and pick it up myself. You're a tight ass. No, but also because the two times we've had it, it has arrived kind of cold and it takes fucking ages and it's way more expensive.

6:34Mike Minogue:I'd rather just go get it because a lot of the shops are five minutes from my house.

6:36Keyzie:You've just reminded me of something that gets deep inside my goat, re-Uber Eats. And I don't know how you guys feel about this. it's like, you know, such and such has picked up your delivery. It's on its way. But he has three stops along the way. Yeah. And it's like, what do you mean three stops? You want it to come straight to you. Yeah, well, exactly. Well, that's why you pay the extra three bucks. I do anyway. And he just comes straight to you. Well, I somehow signed up for that Uber Plus thing or something.

7:06Mike Minogue:Oh, my God, Jason.

7:08Keyzie:And it's like$9.99 a month. And I think it actually does work out because the delivery fees are pretty tiny. So I guess it does. But, yeah, it's like the last couple of times we've had it, it's been he has three other drop-offs. And it's like, well, fuck, by the time it gets to us, it's going to be horrendous. Was it? Pretty much.

7:30Mike Minogue:Yeah.

7:31Keyzie:Nah.

7:31Mike Minogue:It's always got to be direct. I've only ordered pizza in my life once, and it was here at Hauraki. We were on the piss at someone's house, and I ordered pizzas for everyone. And it was the first time. I didn't even know how to ask for delivery or what else. Like, do I go out and pay the driver? Yeah, right. But, of course, I just paid online. But it's the first time I'd ever done it. I don't know why. Maybe it's because my family lived out of Tauranga, and so we could never get food delivered, and so now I don't like the idea of it, maybe. Yeah, right.

7:55Keyzie:I've got an idea, actually. Why don't you do that today, Keezy, and I can help you out with it. That's a good idea. You can order a pizza for the Philz, a couple of pizzas there to get us through the afternoon. Maybe some eating noodles. Maybe some eating noodles. Or some re-burger. Yeah, some re-burger would be good. and an ice cream for everyone. Yeah. My kid. Sorry, beat that out, Pugs, would you mind?

8:19Mike Minogue:Eight minutes.

8:20Keyzie:Have you got an account for that?

8:22Mike Minogue:For what? Ordering you guys' food? Yes. Yeah. The Big Show account? It's called your Dreamin' account. Just put it on your NZME. Bloody good call, that. I feel like we should have an NZME, which is the company that owns us, by the way. I feel like we should have an NZME credit card for when we go down south and overseas. It's like a no-brainer. Yeah, we've talked about this. Yeah, a million times. To each other, sadly, not to anybody else. Well, because if we mention it to the manager, he'll freak out. He'll be like, no, you can't do that because you guys will get wasted straight away and it'll cost a billion dollars.

8:49Mike Minogue:It's like, nah. Well, he's not wrong. Yeah, but until that happens, trust us, man.

8:56Keyzie:It used to be a few years ago that that was kind of the arrangement. Hard out. But can I just qualify that by saying for breakfast, But not for the Drive show.