OUTRO: Day One

0:00Mike Minogue:Here we go, Jason. Okay, you ready? Oh, he's oofy. Look at him. Do you actually want me to start or do you need like five minutes?

0:07Keyzie:No, just do it, man. For all you mad bastards loving the Big Show podcast, get up even closer on Instagram, YouTube and TikTok. Or Raw Dog It. Four to seven every weekday on Radio.

0:23Mike Minogue:Oh, g'day, fiends. Backbone. Hello. There we go.

0:28Keyzie:How you going, man? How fucking good is this weather at the moment? Seriously, it is just amazing. So much so, in fact, my wife and I went, we've got to go to the family batch this weekend. Oh, did you? And we're like, yeah. Listen to this elitist. I wish it was my batch. Because, you know, knowing us, we won't do that. And then when we finally do go, the weather will be shithouse. Yeah, yeah. Well, it's a beautiful weekend this weekend, Jay. Yes, it is. So you took the right time. I was just talking to my wife earlier on. We're going to go for a couple of morning walks. Oh, nice. Nice. This morning was bloody beautiful.

1:03Oh, it was Magnificent.

1:04Mike Minogue:Crisp Keezy. Cool to the touch. Crisp Keezy. Oh, Crisp Keezy, they call them. I went for a walk this morning as well. Fucking delightful. Yeah, delightful. Except we're not as good out your way because you're out west. I was in the city. I was in the city too. We went for a coffee. I mean, I was walking out a brand new walkway.

1:22Keyzie:And then walked up. But anyway, someone's booked it.

1:28Mike Minogue:Oh, did you try leaving it to the day?

1:30Keyzie:Yes, because it was just a spur of the moment. I woke up this morning with a morning wood. Oh, my God, that reminds me. Oh, God. And I said to my wife, I said, how do you feel about going to the batch this weekend? Just for a night. Well, you were absolutely plundering yourself. And she went, yeah, that's a possibility. Plundering. And so we sort of vacillated on it for a while, and now we found out. we've found out someone else is going, so there you go.

2:00Mike Minogue:Why don't you book it for next weekend? Nah, fuck it.

2:02Keyzie:No, there's something on next weekend. I can't remember what. For me, I mean, not for you, Keezy. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Not for old Keezy. Oh, it might be my wife's speed puzzling. Is that what it's called? Speed puzzling. Yeah, yeah, yeah.

2:18Mike Minogue:100%, man. How you going, Jase? Good, thanks, man. Or should we save this? Yeah, save it. Although you're going to have more than one conversation. I just want to think you can have a deeper conversation about it here. Sure. Because what I think is happening. Is that a new talk? It is, Mogi.

2:36Mike Minogue:Glad you noticed, man. I can tell what he's doing. His new strat is to wind you up as much as possible.

2:42Keyzie:No, it's just Mogi per norm. That's good stuff. No, but you're all G, though, eh? Yeah, I'm good, man. Okay, Jesus. How has it been, though? Because obviously everyone out there, today is the first day of Hoody Janus' big bet. What is a fucking big bet? It's your big bet. Yeah. Of not vaping and stuff. How has it been so far? It's been fine, actually.

3:03Mike Minogue:Have you spoken to your wife about it? Yes. She's on board? Yeah, she's on board. Does she think you should go beyond May?

3:10Keyzie:Well, she, no, all she said was, she put her hand on my chest and went, that'll be really good for your little lungs.

3:19Mike Minogue:Great. 100%. That's what it's all about. That's all she said. Your little lungs.

3:23Keyzie:My little lungs. And I went, thanks, darling. Did you pat you on the head? Nearly. Nearly. Yeah, that's good. But it's been – of course there's moments. Yeah. But, you know. I was there moments already. That's not good. Oh, there's – Come on, man. It's supportive. It's just habit. That's all. It's just habit. I want to be quite clear, Keezy.

3:42Mike Minogue:I'm here to win a bet, man. You don't want me and Jason Pugs to have to hand over$100 each. Pugs isn't cool with that, by the way. I'm very aware, Keezy, that if I get involved in this and I start running my yet, I will only firm Horty J's resolve and resilience. Yes. So I know not to get – I won't be getting too chatty. Jase, Jase, what can I do to do the same? Just button it. Yeah. No, to affirm your resolve. No, no, no. Just button it, Keezy. Just shut the fuck up. If you start getting him behind him, he's going to be – I'm just going to be like, oh, God. When you say getting in behind, do you mean like saying stuff like, you can do this, Jase, man?

4:23Mike Minogue:Yeah, I believe in you. I do believe in you. Yeah, man. Seriously, Jase, I'm so fucking confident in you.

4:30Keyzie:I'm twitching now.

4:33Mike Minogue:The Hauraki Big Show, weekdays from four on Radio Hauraki. The Hauraki Big Show podcast. No, but I'm just like, Jase is different this time. Keep it up, Keaton. This is good. This is good for me. Fuck you. Honestly, you're dominating this man. What has it been like for three hours? I am going to dominate it. I feel like a completely new man. Yeah, you look like a brand new man. You look like you're right on the brink. Because I... You look like the man on the edge of his emotions.

4:59Keyzie:I'm already in peak condition having moved into the city, and now this is just going to get better. I'm just going to be more of a stallion. You will be. But I guess the only question I've got, and I really want you to be successful in this, I consider this$100 an investment in your health and future. But my question for you, Jase, would be, if you give up the vape, what have you got left for you?

5:22Mike Minogue:Plundering yourself? Yeah, sure.

5:25Keyzie:You've just got to find... But there's nothing. There's nothing. I know that you've got to find something, but there isn't anything. So what have you got? It's about... He's got his new boots. I have to redefine where I get joy from. Yeah, but you need to have an idea about that before you start trimming things up. Well, I've already found it. There's only a vacuum. I've found it in... Plundering yourself. And plundering myself, extracting my seed continuously. And just spreading it.

5:55Mike Minogue:Walking up to your window and throwing a handful of it out the window of your new apartment. At the window.

6:00Keyzie:Every time I have the urge, every time I have the urge now, right, I just beat off. To what plunder you? Oh, how often do you have the urge though? Oh, 15, 20 times a day.

6:12Mike Minogue:When I picture plundering I picture pirates Aborting a ship And just taking All of the goodies A plundering Yeah that's right He's taking all the goodies But I He's swinging over On his rope Onto the ship

6:23Keyzie:It is a challenge There's no question about it Hey man

6:27Mike Minogue:Can I just say At any point If you start wavering I know No but at any point As well as the support Don't work on people Like Jase and I You've got to be mean to him And mean to me I can't be mean to Jase Because he's the man You have to say to Jase Listen Listen, you piece of shit. Just for fuck's sake, have a cigarette. No. But if at any point you're wavering, you know, me and Pugs are a phone call away.

6:53Keyzie:Oh, I don't know. I don't know if you've noticed this about Pugs lately. He's changed, man. You've got to start, Keezy, you've got to start saying things like, I bet you can't do it. That'll work for Jase.

7:04Mike Minogue:But do you know what I'm doing is I'm saying these things just to make myself feel better. because I know it's literally a fucking waste of time and money. But if I say these things, it's like, oh, Chris, at least you're doing your best in this bet you have no control over. At what point do you think you feel safe, Jase? That'll be the question because that's when you're most at risk.

7:21Keyzie:You mean where I feel like I've cleared the biggest hurdles? Yes. I don't know that I ever will. Yeah. You know what I mean? Because I know it's a tiny little thing away. It is. Like I might go and go and go and be really good and it's no big deal and it'll just be something little and I'll go, ah, have a ciggy. Yeah, but I did that the other day. Let's say it's 10 months. And I'm with a packet of darts. But let's say it's 10 months. Next thing you know, I've got a packet of darts in my house. Now I'm smoking darts and I got about halfway through the packet and I was, sorry, I got about halfway through the packet and I was like, what the fuck am I doing?

7:57I'm smoking. I've got a pack of darts. I poured water into the packet through in the bin. Yeah, man. What the fuck are you doing? Which bin was that? And then guess what happens, Keezy. What's that? You don't smoke because you haven't got any.

8:07Mike Minogue:Yeah. But, like, Jase, let's say you get 10 months down the track and you haven't had a dart or a vape, and then all of a sudden you have a dart. You've still done 10 months without having it. That's true. That's right. That's true. You know what I mean? I reckon after 20 days of May, you reward yourself. 21st of May, boom. No, yeah, come on, man.

8:22Keyzie:I will be, you know, and it might be psychosomatic at this point. My lungs are feeling a bit sore. Oh, they should be, yeah. Which is weird because you think if you're not vaping, That'll be the tumors. Yeah. No, it's recovering. If you're not vaping, then you think you wouldn't be feeling sore.

8:40Mike Minogue:But you've just been running a marathon, and now you've stopped. Your muscles are sore and recovering, and then they'll be stronger than ever. You know what happens with smoking, Jase? What happens when you stop smoking? You start hacking shit up. You do. Yeah. You're not hacking shit up when you're smoking, are you? But it happens when you stop. It's fucking out the gate. Mind you, I never did that. And then it stops after a while.

8:58Keyzie:When I gave up the durries, I never did that either. I didn't hack shit up. Yeah, right. In fact, the only time I did start to get a bit throaty on it was when I vaped. Yes. Agreed. Which was weird. It's shit. Yeah, no, it's not good. But other than that, good fellas, good. Oh, that's good, mate. I'm stoked for you.

9:22Mike Minogue:We're almost half a day into this. I might put on a bit of weight. God, really? Even more. Even more. Even more, man. Well, your power to weight ratio is going to be through the roof for this bench press competition.

9:35Keyzie:I know, I know. Did you guys get that thing that Pug sent through, the training thing?