OUTRO: Defining Goth (Feat. Jonny Brugh)

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0:15Keyzie:G'day fellas. Look who's back. How you going team? How's everyone? I was going to say, you're looking very smart there, Keyzie, and you do, is it?

0:26Mike Minogue:Uh, fresh haircut, yeah. Yeah, looks good, man. It's got a fresh lid. Because Mogi went to the barbers yesterday. Yeah, I was going to say, Maggie. You didn't say anything to me. No, I was about to. No, no, it's all good, man. Don't worry. No, no, it's sweet hairs.

0:34Keyzie:I was about to say, Mogi, your hair's looking very sharp too, actually. Yeah. And you've got a little bit more stubble action going on too, Keezy. Thanks, mate.

0:43Mike Minogue:Yeah, thank you. Well, I didn't say it was good. I appreciate it. So Mogi went to the barber, and I think you had my barber, right, Adam? Yeah. He cut yours, and he said, oh, I saw photos of Keezy over the weekend. His hair's looking a bit woolly. Right, okay. And then Mogi said, well, to be honest, we're on the same hair schedule, so I bet he'll be in soon. That reminded me that I was going to book a haircut this week. Yes. Straight in there, did it today.

1:02Keyzie:Boom, done. Looks very good. Thanks, man. You both look very smart.

1:05Mike Minogue:Oh, God, Johnny Brough's outside. Pugs, can you let Johnny Brough it? Should we just get him in for the intro as well? Yeah, absolutely. Yeah, yeah. The intro outro. We're recording this on YouTube. Yeah, put it in the door. Put it in the fire exit, John. That's the one, man. I mean, there's bike stands that you just went straight past. You fucking get it. What's he going to chain it to? Can you see this on camera at all, Pugs? This won't be on YouTube? Out the front, mate. Yeah, yeah. He's worked it out, man. His hair's looking good. He's running a bit of a Johnny Farnham.

1:32Keyzie:He's got a bit of a mullet going on. He does. It's not a bit of a... It's a massive bastard there. Which is all the rage out west, I must say, the mullet. Yeah, is it? A lot of people... In fact, there was three young kids today. They would have been eight with spectacular mullets. mates. But you know, the sort of shaved sides and really long down the back, West Auckland all over, man, it was good shit.

1:56Mike Minogue:I reckon you look good with a mullet.

1:57Keyzie:Yeah, well, I did have a mullet for it. I did have a mullet for a little while. What was that, by the way? Can you remember when we were... We had mullets and mohawks. Oh, mullets and mohawks, right, okay. Yeah, and mows. Was it not Movember?

2:10Mike Minogue:Was it the goatee? No, I know it wasn't goatees, it was mows, we had mohawks and then we grew our mows for Movember. And my mo was just an atrocity. Oh, yeah, your mo was terrible. But your mohawk was good. My mohawk was really good. It was funny, yeah.

2:25Keyzie:I got a lot of comments about that. A lot of ladies getting in touch.

2:28Mike Minogue:Is that real, though? Yeah.

2:29Keyzie:What do you mean?

2:31Mike Minogue:Were there actually ladies getting in touch?

2:32Keyzie:Well, I posted a video with my mullet, and there was quite a few responses. Let's just say that. Oh, wow. Let's put it that way. I mean, I didn't reply to them, obviously. I'm a happily married man. But certainly there was some admiration. Oh, sure.

2:48Mike Minogue:Fuck, it's good to have you back, Jase. Yeah, well, you know. Hoody J, A number one best in the world. We haven't been playing that enough.

2:54Keyzie:Yeah. Because that is absolutely your catchphrase. Yes. I really want to get a haircut too, but I can't at the moment, unfortunately. Oh, yeah, because you're filming, eh? Yeah, so I want to look as sharp as you guys.

3:07Mike Minogue:You should go to Al Barber and ask for a Keezy. Well, actually. Wow, eyes to the front. Jesus. Funnily enough.

3:15Keyzie:That was a shocking one. Was it? I did actually think the next time I get a haircut, I will go to where you guys go. But actually the last time I went to the fellow up the road from me, he did a pretty good job. So what are you going to do? Well, I think I'll probably go to the guy up the road. The opposite, yeah. And he put black dye in my hair without me asking.

3:36Mike Minogue:Whereabouts, up the top?

3:38Keyzie:Yeah, he was just sprinkling powder in my hair, and I was like, what's that? He said, oh, it's just like a dye, make you look a little bit younger, and I was like. Really, a powdered dye? Yeah, it was black. And I was like, oh, well, I don't mind my greys, man. You haven't got any greys. Well, I haven't.

3:53Mike Minogue:Just down the side a little bit. I don't know if there's a powder black as a real thing. Is that like a real thing? Apparently so. I don't know. You can just sprinkle dye in your hair. Sprinkle powder on your hair.

4:02Keyzie:You can also get the powder just as like a gel. Not a gel, but it does the same thing as sticky gel. Do you want me to go get Johnny and bring him in? Oh, yeah, we can bring him in.

4:15Mike Minogue:Because Pugs is cutting a video, so he can't. He can't, man. He can't. And he's fuming in there, too. He's fucking effing and jeffing in there. Honestly, I think he's come to the end of his right, Pugs. Pugs, can you cut to you and the B studio just to show everyone how fuming you are? He's full shucksing. Yeah. He's fully shucksing. I'll go get Johnny. I'll be back. He's shucksing out in there, man. Yeah.

4:34Keyzie:Good weekend, Margie? Yes, it was. Yeah. It's nice. I went to the batch. Oh, you did? Yes. and we arrived on the Saturday at full tide and it was a beautiful day. Yeah, it was a ripper of a day, wasn't it, on your Saturday? So I just stripped off. Yeah, straight in there. And plunged into the freezing cold ocean. Dog paddled around. Yeah, well, actually, to be honest, I was in there for about 10 seconds. Yeah, good. That warm. I dived in, got up and went, F this, I'm out. Fuck this. Dived in again and went, that'll do me. A couple of dives, man, that's your lot. Yes. Yeah, no, it was a good weekend.

5:13Worky, worky, worky, et cetera, et cetera, et cetera.

5:15Keyzie:Yes. Incidentally, who won between Tonga, Samara, New Zealand? I didn't see that game. New Zealand. Great, great game of rugby league. Damn it. How magnificent it was.

5:25Mike Minogue:The Hauraki Big Show, weekdays from four on Radio Hauraki. The Hauraki Big Show podcast.

5:34Keyzie:It's Johnny Braff. Good stuff.

5:43Mike Minogue:Yeah, no, we're just recording the podcast. This is a podcast. Yeah, it was. Yeah. It was pretty cool. But it was right in a fire exit door. Everyone. You told me to move on, so I did.

5:59Keyzie:Everyone was admiring your hairdo, Johnny. Thanks, man. What a sick bastard. What I do is I just do lots of inversions. Oh, what's that? Just hanging upside down just fills not only the thyroid gland and the pituitary gland with blood flushing them out, but it also fills your hair follicles with blood nutrients, and that's why it's so thick and luscious. I was more interested in the length than the lusciousness. Well, that's what happens when you hang upside down. It grows faster. Your hair grows faster. Right, but if I haven't seen you for a year, then it could have grown at a normal rate, John.

6:32You see what I'm saying? Yeah, I see what you're saying. I don't know. So how much hanging up are you doing? That's your interpretation of it. But you've always had lush hair, Johnny. I have. So, you know. They used to call me boofhead bruff. You know, when I was a little 55-year-old lock at school. 55-year-old lock. Sorry, KG. Yeah. I think I was either bum fluff or boofhead was my call. Yeah, boofheads.

6:58Mike Minogue:And then Jase was bism.

7:00Keyzie:Yeah, no, bism had nothing to do with hair, though. It was just because I had freckles. Jizz face. Oh, there was Jizz face as well. Because his face was always covered in jizz. That's not true. It's funny, Johnny. I'm now known as Hoity Jizzbot. What else? Janus. Hoity Janus. It all comes from Mike, you know. Of course.

7:24Mike Minogue:Wow. I think Hoity Janus was me. Oh, was that you, was it? But Jizzbot is definitely old Mogio. Yeah, yeah, or just Hoity Jizz. Do you want a new nickname, Johnny? No, thank you. Yeah, yeah. What's been going on? You guys have years of colloquialism. Yeah, that's right. You've got to rotate them out, man. I don't understand what you're talking about. Totally. What have you been doing with yourself, man? Myself? Yeah. Not with someone else. Oh. I've been writing a goth musical. Oh, yeah. How's that going? I've got a goth band with Jermaine Clement. I'm the new goth, slightly shorter, Brett McKenzie.

7:59How good. Yeah, it's good. It's fun. Because you ran that a year or so ago, didn't you? Two years. Yeah, we did it. We did the comedy festival a couple of years back. It was great. We sold out. The reviewer called us a disaster. Fuck the reviews, Johnny. You know what I mean? All the public reviews underneath said things like strongly disagree. Yeah, that's good. But it was a disaster. At one point, Jermaine looks down at his drum machine and in character goes, it says that I need new batteries. And I went, I had WhatsApp you to say get new batteries. And he said, no, John, I need new batteries.

8:31He left the theatre and went off and found batteries for his drum machine and I had to stand there.

8:36Keyzie:By yourself looking like a tool. Yeah, being a lonely goth. Yeah, yeah. The key to making it funny, though, is to just stand there being awkward and not try to fill it with stuff. Yeah. Yes. Yeah, yeah. How'd you go with that? We were good at that. Yeah. Are you still playing the bass, Johnny? Yes, of course. You're slapping the bass? I play bass. Can't slap. Right. Because I'm lefty, the bass is upside down. So That's why you hang upside down all the time So you can play the bass properly Then it would be the right way up Oh yeah yeah Damn it Either way it confuses people Yes Yeah yeah I see you've got a guitar in the studio That's nice Yeah Is it nice?

9:14Who plays that? Keys here Keys here's bloody good man