In short
“Big Dilly” introduction and a “potty” (potty/podcast) deep dive, plus banter about drink hygiene, New Zealand towns, and sales/commission work.
Guests
Big Dilly (Timaru-raised; lived in Australia—Gold Coast and Brisbane; later moved to Auckland; worked as a used-car salesman for Holden during its decline; also mentions a Greenpeace door-to-door job story from the hosts’ past).
Key claims
sharing drinks can spread meningitis (Dilly’s paranoia after a cousin died); Palmerston North is a “square dropped in a paddock” and “doesn’t have a purpose”; anti-money-laundering crackdowns halved some vehicle sales; used-car sales commissions start around $100 per car, with targets like 15/month and upsells (tint/finance) boosting earnings.
Notable examples
selling “cool” Holdens despite mostly used-car trade-ins; post-earthquake luxury-car dealership profits; Greenpeace pitch hit rates (one-in-two vs one-in-four debate).
Written by AI. May contain mistakes. Listen to the episode to check what was said.
Chapters
Tap a time to open that second in VOWelcoming Big Dilly
0:45 to 1:57
Discussion about Dilly being a first-time podcast contributor and light banter.
“Every fucking night man You didn't leave a glass of water in here last night Because you knocked it over and spilt it on the countertop Did you clean it up Jase?”
Small Town Life
1:57 to 4:04
Conversation about growing up in small New Zealand towns and their quirks.
“But like those small South Island towns, very hard to get out of.”
Experiences in Australia
4:04 to 7:25
Dilly shares his experiences living and working in Australia.
“Yeah, she had my kind of dulcet tones with a really beautiful, rounded New Zealand accent.”
Car Salesmanship
7:25 to 10:03
Dilly discusses his time as a car salesman and the challenges faced.
“And they've got all those really flash cars.”
Sales and Fundraising Realities
10:03 to 12:28
Hosts share their experiences with sales jobs and fundraising efforts.
“So you're on the salary, which is enough to get you by.”
Transcript
Automatic transcript. May contain errors.0:00Keyzie:For all you mad bastards loving the Big Show podcast, get up even closer on Instagram, YouTube and TikTok or Raw Doggy. 4 to 7 every weekday on Radio Horek here.
0:15Mike Minogue:Dog g'day fellas. Hello. Hi. Dilly's here by the way just for all the listeners. Thought we'd do our first ever potty with old Big Dilly on there. Yeah Big Dilly.
0:23Keyzie:How you going Big Dilly?
0:24Mike Minogue:You alright? It's good to be here guys. Long time listener, first time podcast contributor. How are we? Yeah really good.
0:28Keyzie:I'm a little bit annoyed actually Because I've got a glass Half a glass of water on the desk here And I do this all the time fellas And it's like Is that my one?
0:40Mike Minogue:Probably, you probably left it in here Kesey! No I will confirm, last night you did not leave a glass of water in here
0:46Keyzie:Every fucking night man You didn't leave a glass of water in here last night Because you knocked it over and spilt it on the countertop Did you clean it up Jase? I did with my Sheet of paper, my rundown And funnily enough, I did that while I was talking about that dude that splattered his eggs everywhere.
1:04Mike Minogue:Yeah, did the brekkie guys come in and complain? Yes, they did, yep. And I was like, why is my keyboard just got a whole puddle of water underneath it? And I was the one person that was like, I know why. So the one time Jase takes his glass, he leaves the contents of his glass on there. Easy.
1:18Keyzie:If this is how it's going to be today, we're going to end up in fisty cuffs. No, no, no, no, of course. But I have this one thing that I, you know, because you get, was it meningococcal? Not meningococcal. Meningitis.
1:32Mike Minogue:Meningitis if you share a glass. My cousin died of that.
1:35Keyzie:And seriously, it's always stuck in my head, and so it's like my one paranoia. Like if I'm on set or something and I'll have a drink and I'll put it down, then I go, oh.
1:45Mike Minogue:Do you want?
1:45Keyzie:Hang on, is that my drink?
1:48Mike Minogue:Do you want us to get you a special Hoity J glass? Yeah, probably. Because that would be a good way to do it. Or start drinking out of a really stupid glass that no one else is going to use. Good idea, Keezy. But this is a Big Dilly spesh on the old podcast here Because a lot of people would have listened You know or like seen or heard the name Big Dilly reference But they don't know the guy Yeah Dilly This is a deep dive into Big Dilly as well Yeah so you grew up where did you grow up? Timaru I'm from Timaru yeah Yeah right Beautiful spot This is a great spot But you've done well then Yeah the good ones get out Yes Yeah Well that's interesting because Beck's from Ashburton Manai's from Waimati Or Waimate Waimate Or Waimate as they call it
2:25Keyzie:I'm from Rotorua
2:27Mike Minogue:Yeah, and I'm from Tauranga. But like those small South Island towns, very hard to get out of. Yeah, totally. Well, Waimati and Timaru, South Canterbury, and then Ashburton's on the cusp of. Fuck Ashburton sucks. It does, yeah. I forget we're on a podcast. Fuck Ashburton sucks.
2:45Keyzie:And they all kind of have sex with each other, eh? Yeah, on Trashburton. In those little communities.
2:49Mike Minogue:Do they? Trashburton, is it? You can't sit here telling me that Timaru doesn't have the same kind of name. We're allowed to punch down. Right. And very rarely, you know, it's not often that Timaru gets to make fun of a place because Timaru also sucks. Yeah, well, the funny thing about Timaru, I didn't realise, is Minaya and his partner Jess, who we hang out with quite a lot, they were saying when they needed to go to town or the big city, they'd go to Timaru. Timaru's the big city. Yeah, because Waimati is such a small shithole.
3:13Keyzie:Did you first sort of come to Auckland and go, wow. Wow, the big city lights. The big skyscrapers. They're probably like a two-storey building or something.
3:23Mike Minogue:Well, no, Dilly was in Aussie for a long time. I was, yeah. In all honesty, I did live in Australia before I moved to Auckland. Just Brisbane? Did the Gold Coast for two years and Brisbane for two years. Yeah, right. With the proper New Zealander in Australia experience, go to the GC. Yeah, move to Queensland. Yeah, yeah, yeah.
3:39Keyzie:Because I do detect an Australian twang in your voice occasionally. Yeah. I don't have anything against that, do I? Is that true? It definitely used to be a lot stronger. I can confirm that. Talking to my daughter, who's now living in Australia and has been for seven years, she came back, and I was chatting to her the other night, and I was just like, oh, no. It's happening. Oh, God. It's really good, Dad. Because she used to talk just like you, right? Yeah, she had my kind of dulcet tones with a really beautiful, rounded New Zealand accent. And now it's just...
4:15Mike Minogue:It is a fucking gross accent, Aussie. By the way, me dissing those shithole towns on the South Island, I actually love them. But, like, you know. Oh, come on. Getting a lot of comments
4:25Keyzie:If you're going to diss them man Just own it Double down
4:28Mike Minogue:I'm dissing them in a way Like Hamilton's shit But in actual fact I don't mind Hamilton But you just say that Palmy North sucks
4:37Keyzie:You know? For me Palmy North Is a shithole I hate Palmy North I don't want to offend the people of Palmer I love the people of Palmerston North
4:49Mike Minogue:Really? What do you like about them? But it's like
4:51Keyzie:When I first went to Palmerston North, my first impression was, this is like someone's picked up a city and dropped it in the middle of a paddock. That was my first initial thought. And to be fair, I think I've been there twice in my life and not for long.
5:07Mike Minogue:You know, when you say pick up a city, what I'm picturing is you've pulled a plant out from the ground and it's got all the roots there and you've shaken all the dirt off, all the good stuff is gone and then you've plonked it on the grass. Yeah. That's what, because Palmerston North isn't a big city. No. It's just that weird square in the middle. Yes. And yeah, no, it's not that good. It's just sort of there. It is. When you're travelling up from Wellington to Auckland and yeah, it's just pumps.
5:31Keyzie:Well, it's just the sort of place you avoid really, isn't it? 100%. Who else can we offend? It's amazing how it survived.
5:40Mike Minogue:What, do you think they just wipe it off the face? Does it have a purpose being there?
5:44Keyzie:It's just there, right? Well, who goes to Palmerston North?
5:48Mike Minogue:Who goes there?
5:50Keyzie:No, not me. And I mean, I'm sure the people of Palmerston North absolutely love it. And they're into each other there as a community.
5:58Mike Minogue:That's all that matters, man.
5:59Keyzie:You know what I mean? And so. If they enjoy it, that's. Who am I? Who am I? Eyes to the front, Kesey. Can you fucking just concentrate on what you're saying?
6:08Mike Minogue:Shocker.
6:10Keyzie:Who am I to diss Palmerston North? I apologise.
6:13Mike Minogue:Yeah.
6:14Keyzie:For dissing Palmerston North. It's a great city.
6:17Mike Minogue:And what about all those South Island towns you went in on before? Oh, no, they're terrible. Yeah, that's shit. The Hauraki Big Show, weekdays from four on Radio Hauraki. The Hauraki Big Show podcast. Were you a car salesman, Dilly? I was. I was a car salesman for Holden over there for a couple of years. So I was working there as Holden basically disappeared into nothingness. Because of your sales?
Read the full transcript
6:44Keyzie:No.
6:44Mike Minogue:No, just because of the production in Australia. The Australian economy, actually. So I said to myself, as soon as Holden is gone and done, then I'm going to move on from car sales. And thank God I did. Car sales sucks. Yeah, I can imagine. And so you would have been selling not the cool Holdens, not SS Commodores and stuff, but you were selling like the Vauxhels and stuff? Well, I was a used car salesman for Holden. Ah, trade-ins. So I did get to sell the cool stuff. So everyone would come in and be like, oh, you're not selling the V8s anymore, you fucking want to do this. And I'm like, well, actually, I've got heaps out back, and they're like, oh, okay.
7:19Yeah, right.
7:20Keyzie:Well, it's interesting because my wife and I were walking along K Road the other day, and then we carried on, is it Great North Road that you go on to through K Road? Past the mobile. And they've got all those really flash cars. The Prestige. It's a Cadillac dealership. There's about three or four in a row of just the - On the right side. On the right-hand side as you're going down towards Grayland, of the flashiest cars. And we were like, I wonder how many of these, if you were selling them, you sell in a week or a month and what the commission would be. Say it was like a$90 ,000 car.
7:55Mike Minogue:No, more than that. There'd be like$500 ,000 McLarens and stuff in there.
7:58Keyzie:And it's like, how many would you sell and how much would be your commission?
8:03Mike Minogue:Do you know what's interesting is I was chatting to a mate who sells a type of vehicle, which ever since the anti-money laundering stuff came in in like 2022 or maybe it was earlier than that, which there was a big crackdown on anti-money laundering, like their sales of vehicles halved straight away. Wow. Because that's like people are laundering with those big cars.
8:24Keyzie:Yeah, well, I mean, I find it offensive that someone would spend that amount of money on a car anyway.
8:29Mike Minogue:But what if they've got that money?
8:30Keyzie:Yeah, but even then I go, what are you doing? What are you doing?
8:36Mike Minogue:But what if they've got so much money and it's just like, look, I've given heaps to charity. I've got a big house. I've got a holiday house. I might just buy one of them. Well, give them more to charity then.
8:45Keyzie:Go down Queen Street and give it to the homeless. Go over to the bloody Auckland City Mission, Kesey,
8:50Mike Minogue:and give them a million dollars. 100 % actually. No, I agree with you.
8:54Keyzie:Much other than a Range Rover. But I do find that sort of stuff fascinating because I go, God, I wonder how many of those bastards they – because they are, like Kesey was saying, really freaking flash cars. I did used to work for a flash car dealership down in Christ Your Tomorrow Name Names. I know the one. You know the one. The only one.
9:13Mike Minogue:No, there's more than one, actually. Is it on a corner? No. A big corner? Everyone gets it wrong. It's not that one. It's very similar to that one. You'd be surprised at how much product they move. I mean, I was working down there. It was post-earthquake. So a lot of people were suffering, but there's a lot of businesses made a lot of money during the earthquakes. Yes. A lot of money floating around. There was. And also, what's the commission on selling a used car? What's your commission? My commission back in the day, it would start at$100 a car. And I would have a target of$15 in a month. And as soon as I hit that, then it would go up.
9:44And then there's like, if you finance X amount, then you'd get a cut of that. And if you get like pain protection window tint, then you get a cut of that.
9:52Mike Minogue:And that's on top of your salary. On top of a salary, which is, it wasn't a lot. We called it a showing up to work fee. Yeah. It did have a special name. I can't quite remember it. So yeah, you need. It was shit. It was awful. even by Australian standards. So you're on the salary, which is enough to get you by. It's enough to live on. And then you sell a car, you get$100 to begin with, and then if you upsell them, do you want us to tint it or whatever? Do you want to finance it? So you could make maybe like, what,$500? $300? Yeah, it gets up there a lot. The percentages, it changes so often. And then if you, I think it's if we sold 20 cars in a month, which is a lot.
10:29That's fucked up. That's almost one a day, which is quite a bit. then you will get a cut of the profits overall. So I think it was like 10 % of the money in the cars. That's when you really start.
10:41Mike Minogue:I would hate a job. And there's so many people listening to this right now who would be in this situation. I'm just glad I'm not. Where I had to sell or like do something in order to get. I fucking love being on a salary.
10:53Keyzie:I had that with Greenpeace.
10:55Mike Minogue:But even you, Jase, back in the day where you had to go and get an acting job to get paid. Yes. You know what I mean? Yeah. Keeps a fire in your bellyache. You have to be.
11:04Keyzie:Well, with Greenpeace going door to door, that was a shitter. And you'd get the subscription was$20 to join up, and we got$7 of that, which is actually quite a lot. That's quite a good, yeah. When you consider. But then you'd have to try and get 10 or 15 subscriptions every day to make it worth your while.
11:25Mike Minogue:And to get 15, that's asking 200 people. It is a numbers game, eh? You work out, if I talk to this many people, how many of those do I sell to? I think it's like, my hit rate in the end was like one in four. So you'd have to talk to four complete randoms and get turned down and one of them would be a sale.
11:42Keyzie:My hit rate was one in two, I think, but... Bullshit.
11:47Mike Minogue:I do not believe that.
11:48Keyzie:I was a pretty good salesman. I'm sure you were, Jase.
11:51Mike Minogue:I would have loved to just go back in time and walk past you as you were working for Greenpeace.
11:55Keyzie:With my ponytail.
11:57Mike Minogue:The only story about you and Greenpeace, I know, You went inside that guy's house and got steamed.
12:01Keyzie:Yeah, I did. And then he kicked me out because I wouldn't fuck off. Did you get the sale? No, I don't think I did, actually. But I drank about six or seven beersies. And then he was like, okay, I think you should go now. Worth it. Yeah, totally. Thank you very much, Dilly. Hey, no, thank you guys. My daughter's just mocking my Insta post.
12:19Mike Minogue:Why? Because you did a post about the food you had today.
12:22Keyzie:Ha, ha, ha. It's such a dad thing to enjoy. It is. Is it what is? What's wrong with that, though? Say I am a dad
12:32Mike Minogue:Okay good idea Keezy Hey listen to the big show 4 to 7 weekdays radio hodaki
From the publisher
On today's poddy, we have fill in producer Big Dilly in the studio.
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