OUTRO: Eat More A**

0:00I don't need your civil.

0:05Mike Minogue:Here we go. For all you mad bastards loving the Big Show podcast, get up even closer on Instagram, YouTube and TikTok. Or Raw Doggy. 4 to 7 every weekday on Radio Hoda K. Yeah. G'day fellas. Back mine.

0:27Jason Hoyte:G'day fellas.

0:28Mike Minogue:Pauline J is sick as a dog, man. Yeah. He is sick as a dog. And if he misses hooker ticker, which he won't, for the second year in a row. I think he will. Literally, you think he'll miss it. Really?

0:40Jason Hoyte:Mm-hmm. Shit. Because it sounded like it was still coming on. He's got a flu, and it sounds like it's still coming on. And Jase, once the sickness gets hold of him, he's down, man. He's vulnerable. He's a vulnerable guy. Well, he had the headache on Saturday, you see. He's had the headache for about three months. If you listen to him.

0:57Mike Minogue:Yeah, true. I don't believe him. I can't shake it. I don't believe him. But we're going to hook a ticket because he wants to go. And obviously because of the Wild Foods Fest is a great partner and all that. But Jase wanted to go. So if we're down there again at fucking Stumpers Bar and he's not there, fuming. But we're not only going because he wanted to go, right? We're going regardless. Probably. I have no idea. But yeah. It would be a first if it was driven because Jase wanted to do something. We're all going down to hook a ticket.

1:24Jason Hoyte:Yeah, for Jase. Jump on the Winnie Joe bandwagon. Are you stoked about the train? Oh, I'm stoked about, I think, look, Hoka Tuka Food Festival. Who doesn't want to get involved in that? But the train. Do you reckon you'll do a bit of work on the train? Do a bit of work for sure on the train. Well, the train is five hours long. Will it have? I wonder if it's got a reception. Probably not. There isn't because of our plans for the train, and I can't do anything with what we're doing on the train until after the train is done. Once it's docked at the station. Once we're docked up. Yeah, yeah, yeah.

1:55Jason Hoyte:Then I need to go to whatever office we've got in Hokitika. That's a good one. Go to the local. Stumpers. Plug in there. Stumpers, the local Hokitika office. Plug in there and then send everything back up here.

2:10Mike Minogue:Do you know what time the train leaves? I can tell you that. I think it's quite early. I can tell you that right now. 8am or 9am. I suppose if it's five hours long. Yeah. And then the Waz are playing that night, man. Stumpers. I am excited about that. Oh. Okay.

2:25Jason Hoyte:8 a.m. departure. Fuck. So up early on the Friday.

2:28Mike Minogue:Okay. Boom, boom.

2:30Jason Hoyte:And then get to Grey Mouth at 10 past 1. 10 past 1? 10 past 1. Straight to the Grey Mouth office and then head to -

2:37Mike Minogue:There is no Grey Mouth office.

2:39Jason Hoyte:Is there a Grey Mouth office? Yes. Wow. So there were people that we went with last time who worked in that Grey Mouth office. That was - Yeah. There were a couple of people and they'll be there again.

2:51Mike Minogue:Fucking hell. That's cool. Yeah. Imagine if I could just move to Grey Mouth. I'm doing a Hoity J now I'll just move to Grey Mouth and do a little get a little studio there and do a show from there yeah push off the front of the office just do fuck all there you go right do you reckon it's a flu he's got it's not good well that's what he said isn't it that's why I thought that was what he said he said he's got a sore throat and a headache and a headache yeah feels like a flu's a coming it's embarrassing and my daughter's got she's got a oh and there's a let's finish one I dare at a time eh my daughter's been off work for She's doing work Yeah I took her out of school You remember I took her out of school And you put her to work on the business So she's working now So she's been off work for four days It's her fourth day off work Fucking hell How much annual leave she got COVID's leaping Oh is it So COVID's back COVID's back Fuck I haven't heard the word COVID in ages Yeah Awesome I know Yes one of our people had a COVID It was a big job Yeah so it's a fucker But it's funny because they're closing things down Are they?

3:52So for example it was a film shoot and they had to stop it for a day or two. Oh, really? But yeah, which surprised me because normally I thought we would just be treating it like a cold. It is pretty much a flu.

4:04Jason Hoyte:That seemed to be the attitude, yeah. Yeah. But COVID's different. Is it? Yeah, well.

4:10Mike Minogue:I don't think so. Fucking hell, man. I spent the whole day sanding, right? Paint. Yes. Flaky paint outside of my house, sanding, sanding, sanding, sanding, sanding. Earmuffs on because I've got an electric sander and like a mask. But whenever I put goggles on, I can't see properly, so I have to take goggles off. So my eyeballs are just full of paint. Right. Epic. It's fucking annoying. And every time I blink, there's stuff in my eyeballs. Wait, why can't you see with the goggles? Because they foam up. They foam up. Because my eyes get quite foamy. Because you're sweating like a bastard. Yeah, they messed up instantly and you can't see anything.

4:41Mike Minogue:Condensation. So I kept taking them. I was like, fuck this. That's the spirit, man. And then instead it was just blowing paint into my eyeballs. Yeah, you're hardcore though, bro. That's way better. Old paint. Really old paint. Just blink it out, man. Blink it out. You'll have some good sleep tomorrow morning in the sense that it'll accumulate in the corner of your eye. You'll have heaps of paint and shit in there. I'll wake up and I won't be able to open my eyes because the paint's set and just glued them shut.

5:04Jason Hoyte:Nothing terrified me more than when I had conjunctivitis and then my eye was glued shut.

5:08Mike Minogue:It's disgusting. You're disgusting. No, no, no. I've never had conjunctivitis. What? Like an eye infection, eh? You guys haven't lived until your eye's been glued shut by jizz. You're going to get more farts on your pillow, man. I was going to say, you guys are going to eat more ass. Pugs, you're disgusting. The Hauraki Big Show, weekdays from four on Radio Hauraki. The Hauraki Big Show podcast. How are you going with your three-day hangover, Pugs? What three-day hangover? Two-day hangover. You're in your 30s now, man. Tomorrow, I guess you'll really be feeling it.

5:42Jason Hoyte:Yesterday was my actual birthday, and I did very little. Yeah, right. Are you slow today? Yeah, absolutely. so my family was still here yesterday and then you sort of like kick into your second wind like you're running on fumes caught up with them, it was a beautiful morning we went out and stuff like that and they left at about 2 rot, rest of the day nothing didn't move, didn't leave the couch

6:09Mike Minogue:what did you do for dinner?

6:11Jason Hoyte:ordered some food so my favourite food is spaghetti bolognese and so every birthday my mum would make spaghetti bolognese but she had to go obviously so I she had heaps of time to do it there's a pasta place around the corner so I got one of the bolognese's wow it was the bolognese's not as good as mine

6:29Mike Minogue:that's your favourite food in the world

6:30Jason Hoyte:yeah yeah that's my Horty J best in the world number one it was my spag bowl I make a fucking ripper he reckons he makes a better one

6:38Mike Minogue:Jace reckons he makes the best shit ever and then you go to his house and he delivers a 6 out of 10 I mean I don't know what to tell you he delivers a 6 out of 10 his wife delivers 10 out of 10 food Fuck, she was a wee bit frosty at me, eh? It's like, oh, it's all well and good when it's Keezy's wife under the pump here. You know what I mean? Well, you're directing it at – you're not directing it at Jase, so you're directing it at her. No, I wasn't as far. I was directing it at Jase, but she's taking it. She's jumped in front of Jase and taken the bullet. And I'm like, no, not you.

7:04Jason Hoyte:It's a package deal, man. She's back in her hubby.

7:07Mike Minogue:But I tried to explain to her, and Jase swears that he didn't do the thing you were saying, which I thought as well, where she said, all right, I don't want to see any leftovers. And then immediately Jay started clearing stuff up. It's 100%. It's 100 % what happened. I tried to explain that. I can vouch for that. And he's like, no, Kesey's lying. So fuck's sakes. It's quite good. It's good fun. It is good fun. It was funny when she turned up. She was telling all the yarn, which I passed on to you, which you can't remember because you're not getting fucking mega. It wasn't too bad. I probably only heard about five or six beers.

7:38A shocking bastard. Which was that she was going to turn up wearing a T-shirt that says Six out of ten.

7:44Jason Hoyte:She reckons she's going to. She's like. I told her I'd use the company card. We'll get some t-shirts printed. Fuck's sake. For all of us. When you do your one. For all of us. Not for me. I'm staying out of it. It's got nothing to do with me. Why are you giving me a six? No, I won't. I won't do it. I expect to get a six anyway. A six or lower.

8:02Mike Minogue:To be honest, it's not. But also, it doesn't matter. No, totally. But it's not even about the food. Like, the food's yummy, right? The food there was delicious. It's about all the other shit. Well, that's the thing, I guess, is that he gets another turn. Yeah. We did discuss that. He is going to have another go? Well, he needs to because it was such short notice. Five out of ten. Three out of ten. We should all – no, we can't because this is what he's going to do. Because I think it has to be – it's got to be come dine with me. It's got to be entree, it's got to be main, and then it's got to be dessert, and then it's got to be entertainment.

8:34Mike Minogue:Yeah. Yeah, 100%. And I'm going to be working like a bastard that day because my wife is like, I'm not having to borrow any of this shit. Yeah. She'll be part of the entertainment. She'll chat to you guys, but that's about it. My partner, very, very competitive and very proud. She's going to have to step up her chat, your Mrs. Keezy, because her conversation's really dry. See? See that right there? If I said that about Jace's wife, she'd get back. Game over. Head, run home. Head, run home. Tell her she'd be upset with me. He would. Meanwhile, my wife, who's got excellent chat, she just takes it like a backbone, if you know what I mean.

9:10Mike Minogue:So true man What the hell's that supposed to mean? Huh? What do you mean so true man? So you are a bit slow now man Now that you're 30 Oh very slow Are you feeling worse with your hangovers? It would be anyway though

9:19Jason Hoyte:I mean there's no difference between 29 and 30 Yeah there is It's huge Stop You can tell yourself that I'm excited to be 30 man Every year you're alive You're more yourself And all that shit So I don't know man Fizzing for 30s baby Yeah man I mean like

9:34Mike Minogue:30s is my favourite decade I've been alive so far

9:36Jason Hoyte:Like I've had the most fun in my 30s Great Great, perfect. Well, that is very encouraging. It was interesting yesterday turning 30 and then my girlfriend fell asleep napping and so I was just gaming, ate my favourite food as a kid, Bolognese, after playing PlayStation and then today I'm opening my Yu-Gi-Oh cards. So 30's been off to a hero of a start.

9:57Mike Minogue:Actually, just on there, if you want to see Pugsan opening and getting a holographic Yu-Gi-Oh card, maybe you can check out my Instagram. In front of some lovely wahine from the office. Yeah, some absolute honeys come over to witness. Whoa. Pugs opening up his Yu-Gi-Oh cards. Do you see how quick they left? Yeah, 100%. They stuck around for cake. They saw the holo, then they gapped it. Hey, listen to the big show, 4-7 weekdays, Radio Hauraki. Bye. Bye.