OUTRO: Fake Egg

0:00Keyzie:For all you mad bastards loving the Big Show podcast, get up even closer on Instagram, YouTube and TikTok or Raw Dog It. 4 to 7 every weekday on Radio Network. G'day fellas. Keezie. Keezie. Keezie. Got a new do there Keezie. Old pizza boy.

0:23Mike Minogue:I do have a new haircut.

0:24Keyzie:So does JizzBot. Yeah thank you for noticing Mogi. My pleasure. It's the first day you haven't been wearing the hat. Yeah, yeah. So I hadn't noticed. Yeah. Just on that, not on your haircut. It's good. Not on your hair. I've got a haircut too, fellas. Where's my kelder? Looks the fucking same shithouse as it always does to me. Yeah, Woody J. Oh, Woody J's all excited about going away. Finally. I'm not going away. I wish I was. Just to set the record straight here, old Mogi turned up with a massive sales pizza. Two.

0:54Mike Minogue:The number is two just before he starts this yarn.

0:57Keyzie:and Keezy's just smashed four pieces. And they are, they, I don't know if you're familiar with Sal's Pizza. They're massive slices and Keezy just devoured four of them. Yeah. It was actually five. Oh, was it five? Yeah.

1:15Mike Minogue:Oh, wow. They're just crazy. Oh, pizza tits. I love Sal's Pizza. Sal's Pizza's good. You love anyone's pizza though. Sal's, Pam's, you don't give a shit. Nah, McCain's. McCain's. As long as it's got ham and pineapple on it, Keezy's happy. I only like McCain's ham and pineapple. I don't go to a pizza joint and order a ham and pineapple pizza.

1:35Keyzie:When you do your bachelor pizzas, do you add to them? No. Oh. No, that's the sort of thing my wife would do. Chili flakes, all that sort of stuff. Yes, totally, man. I put anchovies, all sorts of extra olives, a little bit of sauce.

1:50Mike Minogue:It sounds like you're taking a 10 out of 10 pizza and turning it into a 6 out of 10.

1:53Keyzie:Chili flakes, bit of cracked pepper, a bit more cheese. Not pepper. More cheese.

1:59Mike Minogue:Get a load of pizza tits over here. Thin crust or thick crust. Thin? Yeah, good on you, mate. I can't do a thick crust. I hate those big stodgy fucking - Oh, I've done it, but I don't like it. And I'll complain about it while I continue to eat it. The Pizza Hut style.

2:14Keyzie:My wife and I had a Hong Kong hot dog before we came into work today. Is that what you call it? Yeah, it's a sicko. You're a sicko. The old Hong Kong hot dog. Bloody good, actually. Far out. That's filthy. It's a genuine, you know, well, it's obviously a Hong Kong thing. Yeah, there was a lot of sauce on it, Keezy. You would have liked that.

2:34Mike Minogue:Is that what it was?

2:36Keyzie:But bloody good. What do you mean you would have liked that?

2:39Mike Minogue:Like I'm some sauce merchant. You're some kind of sick bastard.

2:42Keyzie:Well, you do. You love a sauce, don't you?

2:44Mike Minogue:I don't love heaps of sauce. I love the correct amount of sauce. You're a notorious man for loving sauce. The sauce man.

2:49Keyzie:Mate, you had a bloody Easter egg yesterday and you squirted sauce on that. so don't give me that bullshit.

2:56Mike Minogue:Yeah. How was your Easter egg today, Jase? Fuck off. I can't believe that. Why would anyone get us a fucking Easter egg, man?

3:06Keyzie:Well, just purely because Breakfast had one and I thought they probably heard about me bleating about us not getting one. Yeah, because that's how Breakfast always responds.

3:14Mike Minogue:They go, oh, let's get Hoodie J. No, not them.

3:16Keyzie:I thought Kate, who got it for Breakfast, went, oh, actually I should get one for the boys and then we could make a wacky video out of it.

3:23Mike Minogue:So what happened is there was a giant Easter egg that the breakfast guys ate and then Hoity J was upset because he didn't get one. He was. And then he came in today and there was what was quite clearly a rugby ball wrapped in the same paper that that giant Easter egg was wrapped in. And then I said to Hoity J, can I have some of that egg? And he's like, nah, I'm going to have it. He's like, I'm going to take it home to my wife even. I was like, can I please have some? He's like, nah. And then I opened it and it was a rugby ball. What an idiot. And he was shocked. I was. He's still going to... I was.

3:49Mike Minogue:It was so obvious. A rugby ball.

3:52Keyzie:Well, but I think... That was great. I mean, how happy are the breakfast boys, though? Yeah, totally. They're thinking to themselves, there's no way this will work. You don't know Hoardy J. You know what it was? I was blinded by the amount of chocolate in there. Yeah. And so I wasn't thinking clearly that, hang on, this could be a stitch up. But you wouldn't have liked it anyway because it was a gift. You hadn't stolen it.

4:18Mike Minogue:If they had to the ACC written on it, then you would have liked it. Yeah, you would have loved it. Yeah, probably. The Hauraki Big Show, weekdays from four on Radio Hauraki. The Hauraki Big Show podcast.

4:33Keyzie:Oh, you're doing Easter eggs, Mogi, because you've got your little one. Do you do it with you and your wife, Kesey, to do Easter eggs?

4:41Mike Minogue:Yeah, her mum still sends up every year a bag of eggs. Really? Yeah, and it's like, it's lovely.

4:47Keyzie:And your wife's a shocker with the chocolate you were saying. No She hides it in the pantry That's right That's what you said And she chips away at it And she chips away at it

4:56Mike Minogue:The second part of that is correct The first part about her being a shocker with chocolate is not correct Yeah, she's a nightmare Well, I mean, she's hiding her addiction from you, Keezy She's hiding the fact that she's eaten all this confectionery She's hiding the chocolate from herself Out of sight, out of mind However, I instantly forget we've got it And I only ate two pieces of pizza Just while we were on Four Clarifying lies but her mum sends up a bag of eggs each, every year. Each? Each? Yeah, a little one. Fuck, you guys are going to be massive. And mine's got a little lint bunny in it.

5:27Mike Minogue:Oh, I like the lint bunny. A couple of Kinder surprises. That's a classic because that's normally got a bowel around its neck. That's right. A bowel end around its neck. Fucking expensive, though, this year. Are they? Really expensive, yeah. 100%, like 20 bucks. I mean, I would never buy them.

5:40Keyzie:I'm pretty certain, because we've still got the little one at home, but she's too old for that, but she loves her chocolate as well. She's a shocker. She is, man. She's terrible. Did you use to, Jase, back in the day, you probably didn't give any Easter eggs, actually. No. But if you did, would you take off the cellophane wrapper there and would you smooth it out? Smooth it out. The wrapper. The wrapper so that you had that smooth. Yes, I did. For arts and crafts. Yeah, yeah, totally, man. I used to like doing that. And I didn't like to tear it. You couldn't tear it. Yes, you had to be really careful.

6:12You had to be really gentle.

6:13Keyzie:Unlike sort of animal Kesey, he's starving. Just ripping into it.

6:18Mike Minogue:I was going to say, you weren't very careful when you were ripping into that rugby ball a couple of seconds ago. Oh, Kesey is an animal. That was a fucking scrum going on. Yeah, man.

6:30Keyzie:Are you having some burritos tonight, Kesey? No, no.

6:33Mike Minogue:Tonight we're finishing off the corned beef. You've been mints a lot.

6:35Keyzie:Oh, how was the corned beef? Was it good? What about the mints?

6:38Mike Minogue:No, we've frozen that. We'll finish it off next week. Corned beef was delicious What we made last night With it Mustard sauce Yes A shit sandwich We had the corned beef Two nights ago And then last night We made Nah it was the quiz night At the pub And then last night We made Reuben sandwiches Oh yeah Now you're too Yeah they are good Reubens Well the way we made them Was we used The mustard sauce A little bit Yes Here we go Premium Swiss cheese slices Oh yeah I stopped and got A sort of a Like not a sourdough But a nice gourmet loaf

7:12Keyzie:Like Molenberg. When he says a gourmet loaf, it's just from his local dairy and it's got melted cheese on top.

7:23Mike Minogue:Yeah, it was a cheese bun.