In short
A casual “Outro: Falling Apart” chat on The Hauraki Big Show covering weekend plans, local oddities, and personal habits (sleep, relaxing, couches, drinking), plus light banter and audience prompts.
Guests
No named guests appear; it’s a host/regular trio (Bagpane, Keezy, Pugs, plus “Moggy” mentioned as a co-host). Backgrounds: radio show personalities/hosts on Hauraki Big Show; one is excited for his wife’s local theatre play.
Key claims
A man sunbathes/sings in the park path with a speaker; “plays” aren’t the hosts’ cup of tea; wives often take the other side instantly; couches need an “L” shape for cuddling; wake-ups hit at exactly 3am.
Notable examples
Warriors match at 5; Thursday rugby league; low-carb hazy IPA; cheese board/red wine; St Patrick’s Day special callout.
Written by AI. May contain mistakes. Listen to the episode to check what was said.
Chapters
Tap a time to open that second in VOWeekend Plans and Local Park Stories
0:15 to 1:40
Discussion about weekend activities and a quirky encounter at the park.
“A little bit tired as well, are you men?”
Excitement for Weekend Events
1:40 to 3:00
Conversations around upcoming birthday dinners and theatre shows.
“Got a little bit of work tonight, followed by a little bit of work all weekend.”
Thoughts on Theatre and Past Experiences
3:00 to 4:10
Debate about attending plays and personal experiences with performances.
“I don't necessarily enjoy watching them.”
Reflections on Show Quality and Audience Reception
4:10 to 5:20
Hosts reflect on their past shows and the subjective nature of comedy.
“But it's that thing of, in all that babbling, there's always a minute or two that's pretty funny.”
Home Life and Family Dynamics
5:20 to 6:46
Discussion about family life, home comfort, and interactions with children.
“Like make a cheese board, get some red wine.”
Conversations About Relaxation and Habits
6:46 to 8:00
Hosts share their experiences with relaxation, home habits, and sleeping patterns.
“She has no concept of opening and closing a door quietly.”
The Quirksamess of Late Night Toilet Visits
8:00 to 9:10
Light-hearted discussion about nighttime routines and toilet habits.
“Well, not good on her if she wants a fucking thriving business.”
Casual Conversations and Compliments
9:10 to 10:28
Casual banter about shirts, personal styles, and playful teasing.
“You are fucking cruising for a bruising.”
Transcript
Automatic transcript. May contain errors.0:00Keyzie:For all you mad bastards loving the Big Show podcast, get up even closer on Instagram, YouTube and TikTok or Raw Doggy. 4 to 7 every weekday on Radio Horek. Oh, g'day fellas. Bagpane.
0:17Mike Minogue:Hello there. Hi.
0:18Keyzie:How's everyone going today? Pretty good, man. Having a good day?
0:20Mike Minogue:Yeah, good. A little bit tired as well, are you men?
0:24Keyzie:Am I tired? Yeah, a little bit tired, but you know, it's a beautiful day. God, she's cracking. 26 degrees. Holy hecka. I was enjoying the last hour in my apartment there. This dude was laying down on the path with a beach towel in the middle of the path in our local park with a massive speaker and a microphone wearing just shorts, just bellowing out tunes. Was he a good singer? What kind of tunes? Deftones? No, not that sort of, you know, you kind of sing along tunes. I'm just trying to think. I've got a little video of it. Lazy Sunday afternoon. He did have a good voice, but man, he was just lying in the middle of the path and people were walking past him.
1:15Keyzie:Like he was at the beach. He gets it. Singing his heart out. Oh, okay, fair enough.
1:20Mike Minogue:I think the sunbathing at the park thing's fine. Yes, but not in the middle of the path. Oh, no, you should be on the grass.
1:26Keyzie:Like there's grass everywhere on this park, So why he decided to lie in the middle of the path, I don't know. Because he's got to screw loose. Probably off his head. Yeah, I think he was a bit off his head, but you get that, fellas. It doesn't sound normal.
1:38Mike Minogue:No. Have you guys got much on this weekend, man? A little bit. Yeah. Yes. Sounds like fuck all to me. Sounds like sweet FA. Got a little bit of work tonight, followed by a little bit of work all weekend. And a birthday dinner for someone tomorrow night. How good. And the whales tomorrow night. They better not clash. Yeah, that would be a disaster.
2:00Keyzie:I've got bits and pieces, Keezy. My wife's doing a matinee and a show tomorrow. Yes. Tomorrow? Yes, and my daughter is going all over the place, so I'm going to have to be shipping her around.
2:12Mike Minogue:Right, okay, so you're just an Uber driver tomorrow.
2:14Keyzie:Pretty much, yeah. A matinee, eh? Maybe I'll go to that. Yeah.
2:19Mike Minogue:Yeah.
2:20Keyzie:Matinee.
2:21Mike Minogue:What about you, Keezy? What are you up to, man? Chill weekend. My wife and I are just going to make love. We're going to the show tonight, obviously, your wife's play tonight, which I'm very excited for.
2:33Keyzie:Well, don't get too excited. Are you very excited? I'm fizzed up for it. Yeah, I haven't been to a play.
2:37Mike Minogue:You hate plays too. I went to that musical last year, the Christmas Carol one, which is a full production, full singing. Yeah, this will be like that. But I've never been to just like a local theatre show, play. So I'm very excited for it. I might not be afterwards, not because of your wife's performance, but because plays traditionally are not my cup of tea.
2:55Keyzie:Yes. You hate a play. I do. And can I just say, same. You don't like plays. You've been in heaps of plays. I've been in heaps of plays. I don't necessarily enjoy watching them.
3:06Mike Minogue:Do you think you'd enjoy watching yourself in a play? No. I've had to think about it.
3:11Keyzie:No, I don't think I would. I think you would. Well, I don't watch anything that I do generally, like on TV or whatever. Really? Yes, I never watch it.
3:20Mike Minogue:So you've never seen Labyrinth?
3:23Keyzie:Come on, Kesey
3:24Mike Minogue:You've never seen one single episode of Thunderbirds Is what you're saying Nah, but have you watched Son of Hercules Young Hercules, what is it?
3:34Keyzie:No
3:35Mike Minogue:Have you watched Dog Squad? No Have you watched Late Night Big Breakfast?
3:41Keyzie:Bits and pieces of it, but not really Yeah, it comes up, eh
3:43Mike Minogue:There's a real funny bit where there's Nadia Lim's in the kitchen Fuck off
3:58Keyzie:This is Mogi just making weird noises day 100 % Because you remember Keezy He fell apart yesterday making weird noises Towards the end of the show He just makes noises That's when you know Mogi's falling apart Well yesterday was a funny show I thought we did a good job fellas Good job yesterday Yep I remember laughing
4:18Mike Minogue:well that's all you want right that's all you can ask for sometimes as well Pugs didn't laugh but he doesn't like the show but he's in the departure lounge anyway yeah totally is but it's funny when you think you don't have oh the show was okay and then you listen or people go oh man funny show funny bit you did and you're like oh okay I thought it was shit well that actually often happens
4:35Keyzie:when you know Keezy and I will be walking to the car not that I walk to the car anymore and Keezy go that was a funny show and I go you reckon you reckon do you you know and often what Keezy or you guys think is a funny show I think is terrible. It was an average show. Two out of ten. What's a good show for you? I don't know.
4:54Mike Minogue:Is it when you've had heaps of dingers? It's when Jase has had some home runs. Yeah, that's right.
5:01Keyzie:But, you know. A couple of racist jokes. Jokes. But it's that thing of, in all that babbling, there's always a minute or two that's pretty funny.
5:09Mike Minogue:You'd like to think so. Yes. Yeah, this weekend, all I've got on is watching the Warriors at five, and it's just me and my wife at home watching it and I can't wait. She's like, what do you want to do? Do you want to like a special dinner or something while we're watching The Warriors?
5:22Keyzie:A special dinner. Like make a cheese board, get some red wine. Oh, yeah, now you're talking. Yeah. Put on some music in the background there?
5:30Mike Minogue:No, because the wires are on.
5:31Keyzie:Is her cousin still there? No, she's gone home. Oh, bugger.
5:34Mike Minogue:No, that's good. Why? You hate her. What do you say, man? You hate her guts. Well, no, it's just our house. Strike? You know, it doesn't matter how great the person is staying with you. I prefer.
5:44Keyzie:To be alone with your wife with red wine and a cheese board. 100%. Cheese board keezy. Of course I do.
5:50Mike Minogue:But, you know, especially our guest room is right next to our room.
5:55Keyzie:Oh, so you can't really pound away.
Read the full transcript
5:57Mike Minogue:No, it's not there. We still do that. Hoardy J, love that. But then the bathroom is outside our room. So if I go to the toilet in the middle of the night at midnight, my alarm goes off and I go to a steamer. Drop a couple of bombs. Drop some bombs. Because you normally leave the door open. Yeah. Are you forced to close it?
6:15Keyzie:And you're a real grunter too, eh?
6:17Mike Minogue:I am, fellas. I don't know where you're getting all this info from, but it's 100 % correct. I've got mics in your house. Mogies? The Hauraki Big Show, weekdays from four on Radio Hauraki. The Hauraki Big Show podcast. But if the person in the guest room goes toilet, we hear it. If I go toilet, everyone hears it. Not the hearing the toilet, but the door and the walking.
6:41Keyzie:Douche, douche. Yeah, that's been the one that, as I've said before, my daughter is right next to our room now, and she's a shocker with fucking doors. She has no concept of opening and closing a door quietly. It's just always slam, slam, slam, slam, and it's like, can you not slam your fucking door all the time? Is that what you say? In case you're not. And you go, whatever. Yeah, whatever. What was the thing that she said? Take a chill pill. No. Somebody said that to him. It wasn't my daughter. No, that was the bakery. They were selling you at the bakery, the curry roll. What did she say again?
7:21Keyzie:What was it? How's your day? Good things. Oh, yes. I said good things and she went, good things. And I was like, what the fuck was that?
7:33Mike Minogue:That was so weird. And like I hate to, because my wife does this sometimes, she'll instantly take the other person's side when I'm telling a story. 100%. Yeah, but I don't want to, but I feel the way you said it must have had like an inkling of like, you know.
7:49Keyzie:No, there was no. It's funny how wives do that.
7:51Mike Minogue:Yeah, they do.
7:52Keyzie:There was no tone or anything in what I said. It was just a very polite response. Good thanks. Good thanks. Good thanks. Yeah, I love it. Good on her. That's fucking funny. Well, not good on her if she wants a fucking thriving business. What if she give a shit? I'm going to ruin that place now. She was 18. I'm going to ruin that place. You ain't ruining shit. I'm going to destroy that place. Is that a new shirt? I'm not even going to fucking start with you, man.
8:21Mike Minogue:Okay, now obviously Moggy's joking, and I know that that's not a new, but I don't think I've ever seen that shirt. Don't be a dick. I mean, it's clearly old as fuck. But I've seen that one, the dot one. What's that nickname for that one? We've used that one before. Polka dot shirt? No. No, I've literally never seen that shirt. Not new, obviously, but is it recent second-hand pictures? Showing off the guns. Look at him. He's fuming. The idea. And what's funny about it is after yesterday talking about it, he's decided, right, I'm not going to get pissed off now. With your guy's stupidity. Absolute stupidity.
9:03Mike Minogue:I agree. All you have to do is just, is that a new shirt? Like, not new. Keezy? What?
9:08Keyzie:No. He did know.
9:11Mike Minogue:He's got you there. It's not, no. He's got you there.
9:13Keyzie:Fucking cruising for a bruising. He's done you there, Jase. You are fucking cruising for a bruising.
9:19Mike Minogue:I am in a bit of a shit-story mood.
9:20Keyzie:Don't give me that look, Pugs, or I'll be in there as well, mate. Fucking, I'll give you fun, pal. Oh, cool. That sounds nice.
9:28Mike Minogue:That sounds very nice. You're giving some fun. Friday night, though, fellas. Friday night's a great night for football, I'll tell you that much. I wouldn't mind just watching a little movie. A little movie, not a big movie. Not a big one. I'd quite like to watch Frankenstein. Three hour long? Oh, God. Pugs hates it. But last night, I cracked a low-carb, hazy IPA. Oh, yeah? Yeah, we had a couple of those around at home. Not me, but someone did. I cracked a couple of those. Sawmills. These were Monteiths, so not super fancy, but not super crafty either. But cracked a couple of those and just watched the Thursday night rugby league game.
10:06Oh, yeah.
10:06Mike Minogue:Lying on the couch Like a piece of shit Having a beer No not like a piece of shit Like a chilled out guy Like a log on a couch Who's loving it Steamer Yep Whatever makes you feel better man But I was just like When I was lying on the couch Having a beer I was just like Backbone
10:20Keyzie:Fuck lying on the couch And having a beer And watching something Rules
10:23Mike Minogue:So good Lying on the couch is mint I'm not happy with our couches at home Not comfy No they're fine But they're not in L shape Yeah the L's crucial You gotta have the L So you can hug your missus For cuddles We're actually That's why
10:34Keyzie:We were stoked when we moved into this place and they had those big couches that were there. They said, is it okay if we leave them? We were like, fuck yes, they're great for lying on. Not that I do. I find it very weird lying on a couch for some reason. I don't like lying and watching stuff.
10:49Mike Minogue:I can't picture you relaxing in any way, shape or form.
10:52Keyzie:No, I'm not good at relaxing. That's fair.
10:54Mike Minogue:I picture you just pacing around. Yes. Whilst, you know, whereas. I spend a lot of time at the window. Jacking it. Jacking it off. Just jacking it. and then I'll walk into the bedroom
11:07Keyzie:and I'll stare out the window with my hands behind, clasp behind my back, just staring at stuff.
11:13Mike Minogue:Is your brain very noisy? Is there just constantly stuff going on in your brain and you just have to wander around looking? No, I don't.
11:22Keyzie:But you're a noongie. A noongie? What the fuck's a noongie?
11:26Mike Minogue:A dungie. You used to say noongie back in the day. Noongie, yeah. Because it was dungie when I was growing up. Oh, was it dungie? You dungie. I've never heard that before. Even when I'm saying it behind your back.
11:36Keyzie:Yeah, man. But no, I've never been good at relaxing.
11:41Mike Minogue:Yeah.
11:43Keyzie:But I will say, and this is not being a debt, because I'm walking so much these days, I am a bit more pooped than I normally am. Poop boy. So I do sometimes lie down on the couch. Yeah, right. My love will lie down on the couch. But I don't like these three o 'clock in the morning wake-ups. Nah, it's bullshit.
12:00Mike Minogue:Is that what's happening to both of you right now? Yeah, at the moment. It has been fours, but now it's threes.
12:05Keyzie:And it's like fucking regular as clockwork at the moment. And I don't even almost need to look at my phone because I know it's three o 'clock. And I'll look at my phone and it'll be like three o 'clock. And it's like, fuck.
12:18Mike Minogue:So let me get this straight. You know it's three o 'clock. And then you look at your phone and it says three o 'clock. And then you go, ah!
12:26Keyzie:Sometimes, yes.
12:27Mike Minogue:Yeah. I hate that.
12:31I hate it too. I want to be clear about that. I love it.
12:35Mike Minogue:You know what I love? That you've worn that shirt for the first time today, man.
12:42Mike Minogue:Seriously, I do like it. You should wear it more often. Like, I don't know why you wouldn't wear it more often. It's a great shirt. Jase. What? I'm just trying to pay you a compliment, man. It's just... Oh, God, I'm sorry. Oh, to those Irish people, Can you let us know what you thought about our St. Patrick's Day thing? St. Paddy's Day special. Yeah, St. Paddy's Day special. Let us know what you thought about that. Cheers, back man. Cheers, guys. Hey, this is The Big Show, 4-7 Weekdays Radio. Ha-raki!
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Featuring Jason Hoyte, Mike Minogue, and Keyzie, "The Big Show" drive you home weekdays from 4pm on Radio Hauraki.
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