In short
The hosts banter about podcast naming and “happy endings,” joking about paid rub-and-tugs, deep tissue massage, and sexual/relationship scenarios; they also include a highly explicit listener-style story involving mistaken identity during sex.
Guest backgrounds
No formal guests appear; the recurring speakers are the hosts (including “Pugs,” “Mogi,” and “Jase”).
Key claims
A rub-and-tug is framed as an Australian “popular” lunchtime option (~$40) and compared to gambling/shame; the “happy ending” is treated as a joke.
Notable examples
A story about two flatmates borrowing a condom, then one ends up having sex with the other’s sister while the partner thinks she resembles a mate; they discuss adding a “disclaimer” and joke about who she might look like (Pugs vs Mogi).
Written by AI. May contain mistakes. Listen to the episode to check what was said.
Chapters
Tap a time to open that second in VOPodcast Name Discussion
0:31 to 1:40
Hosts discuss and suggest potential new names for the podcast.
“What is the new name for our podcast, fellas?”
Rub and Tug Conversations
1:40 to 3:00
A humorous conversation about the concept of 'Rub and Tug' and its implications.
“To me, that's the equivalent of gambling.”
Life Stories and Jokes
3:00 to 4:40
Hosts share personal anecdotes and jokes involving their partners.
“With a rub and tug, do you get a good rub?”
Discussions of Past Relationships
4:40 to 7:30
A story about a friend accidentally hooking up with another friend's sister.
“I just walk, I'll be walking around the house.”
Outrage and Humor
7:30 to 9:10
Exploration of reactions and humor surrounding sensitive topics in friendships.
“No, I'm just saying it was 20 years ago.”
Transcript
Automatic transcript. May contain errors.0:00Keyzie:G'day you massive backbones. Just to say we're going to put a disclaimer on this particular podcast there may be some content not suitable for children. It's definitely not suitable for children so definitely don't play it with the marine. Yeah. Shock and buzz. Yeah.
0:13Mike Minogue:You're out of control.
0:16Keyzie:For all you mad bastards loving the Big Show podcast. Get up even closer on Instagram, YouTube and TikTok. Or Raw Doggy. 4 to 7 every weekday. On Radio Hoda K. Oh, g'day, fellas. Batman. Hello. What is the new name for our podcast, fellas? We haven't really settled on one, have we? No, we haven't. It's still the outro. I think the outro's pretty good. Yeah, well, I mean. I like it.
0:43Mike Minogue:It's got a ring to it. It does. It has a real ring to it compared to everything else. I feel like we can do better. You call it the warm-up. Big show warm-up. The warm-up. The big show warming up.
0:58Keyzie:The big show rub-down. Oh, nice. But it's beforehand, isn't it?
1:03Mike Minogue:Yeah. What about Rub and Tug?
1:10Mike Minogue:So it's like the podcast equivalent. Of a Rub and Tug. Is it? Is there always a happy ending? I suppose we always try to end on a high. We do.
1:19Keyzie:What's that, Keezy?
1:20Mike Minogue:A happy ending. Yeah. It's a Rub and Tug.
1:23Keyzie:Oh, right.
1:23Mike Minogue:Jase, come on, man. Don't act like you don't know what a happy ending is. You of all people.
1:27Keyzie:Oh, I mean, I know what a happy ending is. and a massage the boy meets the girl and they fall in love and get married live happily ever after and live happily ever after it's similar to that right okay the devil's in the details there yeah I see and it's very popular in Australia when I was living in Australia very popular what's that
1:45Mike Minogue:happy ending really for people to go along to a rub and tug wow and at lunch time or something like that right okay pay I think about 40 bucks wow and just get a bit of a rub down and de yeah okay Yeah, interesting, isn't it? $40. How do you know the price of that? Well, I guess the thing would be. Everyone used to talk about it. Keezy could not bear the part. To me, that's the equivalent of gambling. There's so much shame associated with having to do that. I could never. But I don't think people should feel bad if they were doing it. Oh, yeah, I would certainly. If somebody said to me they were doing it, I would give them shit about it.
2:22Yeah, yeah, yeah. I mean, if they want to do it, that's entirely up to them. Oh, yeah, yeah. No, I'm talking about mates of yours and mine,
2:30Mike Minogue:like just scumbags who were too lazy to do it themselves. Like pug. Like the old pug, rub and tug.
2:35Keyzie:You must come away very relaxed. Rub and pug. It'd be like, you know, when you have a food coma. And so instead of going and having a big lunch. So you're so full. Yeah, you go and have a rub and tug. It would have the same effect. You'd come back to work feeling a bit woozy.
2:53Mike Minogue:Yeah.
2:53Keyzie:You know what I mean?
2:54Mike Minogue:Do you feel woozy after it, do you? You've lost your joie de vivre.
2:57Keyzie:I'm feeling very contented. I haven't had a rub and tug myself, Keezy, but I mean, not one that I've paid for. With a rub and tug, do you get a good rub?
3:08Mike Minogue:I don't know.
3:09Keyzie:I think it would be a bit of a massage.
3:10Mike Minogue:Because if I was having a rub and tug, I'd want 55 minutes of it to be the rub. I'd want a genuine rub down.
3:15Keyzie:Well, you'd be safe there because it would only take a minute for your tug.
3:19Mike Minogue:But in that case, I want 59 minutes of genuine deep tissue massage.
3:24Keyzie:I have a running That's probably more expensive actually
3:26Mike Minogue:Yeah it would be
3:27Keyzie:Yeah I have a running joke with my wife Which is What a rubbing joke No a running joke Moggy And we'll be sitting on the couch And I'll say to her So have you got the hot stones out babe And she'll go Yes This is a joke about like having a hot stone Jeez you guys haven't laughed Oh we do We haven't chuckled It's funny when you say things out loud
3:50Mike Minogue:And you go wow my life's really boring
3:54Keyzie:My life's tremendously exciting And then I say 45 deep tissue massage And she goes yeah
4:04Mike Minogue:She just knows That means she thinks to herself For fuck's sake Well it's like Because you must have them as well The ongoing one I might have talked about it is If we're in bed Oh yeah And it's like You know late And my wife is like Going to sleep And then we'll get up And go to the toilet One last time before she goes to sleep, I'll be like, oh, you're off to work. Have a good day. It's like she's getting up to leave for work. And now I do it so often now that she goes, she gets up, and then I'm like, what are you doing? She's like, I'm off to work. And it's just like the lamest shit. Yeah, yeah, yeah.
4:41Mike Minogue:You must have those, Mogi. No, we haven't got none of those. Yeah, you do. Come on, man. You don't have to be cool. I just walk, I'll be walking around the house. Any time I see her, I'll go, hey, baby. And she goes, hey. Hey. So I go, hey, baby, and then from the other side of the house, it'll be, hey. Really? Yeah.
4:57Keyzie:The Hauraki Big Show, weekdays from four on Radio Hauraki. The Hauraki Big Show podcast.
5:05Mike Minogue:Pugs has got somebody to contribute. What's up, Pugs? Hey, fellas. No, I was just going to ask if Mogi was going to tell a story from MeetPattyNip69 yesterday. MeetPattyNip69. About your friend who was dating someone who looked like someone. Oh, yeah. Yeah, that was a goodie. That was a goodie. So that was a mate of mine who was going out with – a mate of mine who was living with another mate. I've told this through before, but not on here probably. And so they were flat in together. Two blokes. Two blokes, two fellas there. It's called Jason Casey. And both of them go out on the piss. Okay. All right?
5:40And then one of them goes home. Jason. Early. And the other one – this was over 20 years ago. And then the other one's like, he's going to stay out and keep drinking. because he's a shocking legend. Do you know what I mean? Yes. Then the second guy who's out late comes home, wakes up the first guy and says, hey, man, can I borrow a condom? Yeah, absolutely. Burrows a condom off him. Then the next morning, the second guy doesn't get up for a long time because he's hungover, more hungover. The first guy gets up. He's out in the kitchen making a cup of coffee and some toast. When his sister comes into the kitchen and goes, hey, how are you going?
6:12And it takes him a while to compute it, but then he's like, what are you doing here? And then he flashes back and remembers that he's meant his.
6:19Keyzie:Oh, no. He's given his mate and flatmate a condom to have sex with his sister. Now, this guy didn't really, he wasn't super thrilled about that. No. And he pulled him up and he said, what are you doing, man? You can't, we're meant to be mates. You can't, you can't. Yes. You can't do that, man. And the other mate said, come on, man, we're practically family.
6:45Mike Minogue:That was great. But in further discussions, the mate who was making love to the sister said, we need to put a disclaimer on this. Yes. We need to put a disclaimer on this. Said, when I was making love to her in doggy style. It felt like I was. And she kind of looked over her shoulder. Like Keezy Styles. she looked like my mate yeah and so I said well surely at that point you stopped and he said nah man that's a shocker that is a shocker
7:30Keyzie:so I don't know if we can put that out or not
7:32Mike Minogue:nah you wear sweet ears man
Read the full transcript
7:33Keyzie:I always gauge it because I just look at Pugsarm
7:37Mike Minogue:mind you
7:37Keyzie:now normally in the telling of that story I go a lot harder and drag it out a lot more but I've tried to be as vanilla as I can. Yeah. But imagine yourself in that situation. Yes. And it's, you know. What? No, I'm just saying it was 20 years ago. 20 plus, yeah. You know, so you're young and a bit doolally. You take what you can get.
8:00Mike Minogue:My attitude towards stuff like that, though, is like, everyone wants to have a shag, you know. Yeah. She wanted a shag. Everyone's adults who gives a shit. Yeah, that's right. But you don't need the details, do you? Nah. The last part, you could probably go with that. personally. So, Jase, if you're halfway through banging someone.
8:18Keyzie:Come on, man. And they look over their shoulder. They look over their shoulder. Come on, man. And it's kesey.
8:22Mike Minogue:In the faint light, it looks kind of like Mogey. Are you carrying on? He's hammering tongs. He's done and dusted at that point. That's the final minute of his rubber tongue. It's all over Rover at that point. Especially because it is me. Yeah, me. That kind of looks like Mogey. Oh, God. Hang on.
8:39Keyzie:Hang on. It's all Mogey.
8:41Mike Minogue:Pugs, well, we need a disclaimer on this. Yeah. Yeah. He's shaking his head. He had his head in his hands before. Yeah, no.
8:49Keyzie:Which is – I always am surprised by Pugsan being offended by stuff because he's a shocking bastard. Oh, he's terrible. You know what I mean? He is. He's terrible. So it's like, come on, man. Don't give me your faux outrage. Thank you. Jase, if you're making love for someone and they turned around like Mogi described
9:10Mike Minogue:and they had to look like either Pugs, me or Mogey, who would you prefer? Yeah. Who would you prefer?
9:18Keyzie:I reckon Pugs. Yeah, Pugs. It would be Pugs. It's not even a hard decision. No, it's not really. It's easy.
9:25Mike Minogue:Turn around and look like Pugs. Because Pugs would love it.
9:30Keyzie:I think probably Pugs as well. I think we should just, you know, probably go and get some halftime sushi or something at this point.
9:37Mike Minogue:I feel like if a radio show made comments like this about a producer, they could get fired. Are you all G with this chat or are you uncomfortable with it? He's loving it.
9:46Keyzie:Can I just say I might be going to HR about what you were saying about if it was Mogey, Kesey. You should be going to HR about that dream that you had about someone that time.
9:56Mike Minogue:Jase, how do you go to HR? Talk me through it.
9:59Keyzie:How do I go to HR? Yeah, so you're going to HR.
10:01Mike Minogue:How do you do it?
10:02Keyzie:I go, hello, I'm Alan Patrick.
10:07Mike Minogue:Okay, that is a reference to something we were doing before the podcast. Toddy's going home, Pugs. Todd's going home.
10:17Keyzie:Don't stop him from doing that.
10:22Keyzie:Did he know that we were doing our podcast?
10:24Mike Minogue:Our boss was going to have a meeting with us, and then he was on the phone, and now he's just gone home. Yeah, he's just gapped. Oh, well. Hey, listen to the big show. Four to seven weekdays, Radio Horaki.
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Featuring Jason Hoyte, Mike Minogue, and Keyzie, "The Big Show" drive you home weekdays from 4pm on Radio Hauraki.
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