OUTRO: Going Downhill Fast [R18]

0:00Mike Minogue:You g'day guys, it's old Keyzie from The Big Show here. Just a quick disclaimer here. Hey Jase, Jase got a bit out of control there. Jase literally said a really bad thing to the point where Pugs beeped it, you'll hear it soon. He was just joking around.

0:15Keyzie:Context people, come on.

0:17Mike Minogue:And then it also got a bit dirty as well. So just a bit of a disclaimer. But yeah, it's a great episode, but just don't play it to the kids. All gee.

0:24Keyzie:For all you mad bastards loving The Big Show podcast, Get up even closer on Instagram, YouTube and TikTok. Or raw dog it. Four to seven every weekday on Radio Horeki. Yeah, man. Hey, fellas, genuine question here. You know how I got my hair cut yesterday? No. Why is it? Yeah, is it? Gobble, gobble. Gobble, gobble. Looks like a bunch of scrotes on there, doesn't it? It does, actually. It looks like balls.

0:54Mike Minogue:I reckon your wife's just taking the piss at this point. No, I'm joking.

0:57Keyzie:I wouldn't be surprised if she is taking the piss. That would be great. Well, you know how I got my hair cut yesterday. Yes, and I love it. I was looking at it again today. I've been quite clear about how much I love it. Yeah, well, I just feel it's a bit like Nazi-ish. I feel like a Nazi. It's got a touch of the Sieg Hales. Yeah, does it? because I'm looking at it going, well, it's pretty kind of right-wing extremist sort of.

1:30Mike Minogue:It's not the haircut. It's the ****.

1:36Mike Minogue:I was going to say, it's not the haircut. It's the hand gestures. No, that's all good. There's nothing wrong with it. It's the hand gestures. That's the issue you've got. Yeah, that's right. And the thing about Liz, when you come out of getting your haircut, you're doing a goose step. You know, you're high kicking, Well, I'm just so buzzed to have a new do, you know. Okay, cool. Your hand to chest, extending the arm. It's not cool in this day and age, man.

2:01Keyzie:Well, you know what it is. It used to be, eh, Mo? I'll tell you what it is, is that sometimes my hip gives out and it's like a spasm. Can I just say Pugs has had to leave the B-Studio because he can't cope? I have a spasm in my arm that looks like a sort of salute. This is high-quality satire. It's like a nerve reaction. Okay, well, that's good then. I was just a bit worried. No, you're good. Thanks, man.

2:25Mike Minogue:No, you're all G, Jase, man. I think it looks great. Thanks, mate. Ogi's been very clear about his intentions. I've been quite clear about it. And I know that you're trying, like, what you're running with is, would anybody suspect that I'm a Nazi given I'm wearing a turkey shirt? Yes.

2:41Keyzie:That combo's never been tried before. I feel like a turkey shirt kind of diffuses the situation.

2:47Mike Minogue:And that's why he would have put the turkey shirt on because he's so Nazi.

2:51Keyzie:That's what I'm saying.

2:52Mike Minogue:Then if he puts a turkey shirt on, it'll diffuse it a wee bit. This is it.

2:55Keyzie:Like if I put on a black overcoat. Not good. Turkey shirt, Manta. Yeah, yeah.

3:00Mike Minogue:And I know you've got a wardrobe full of black overcoats and helmets with little spikes on them.

3:05Keyzie:I've got a wardrobe full of shit.

3:07Mike Minogue:Really? Steamers.

3:08Keyzie:Yeah, this is where I do poos.

3:11Mike Minogue:Do you mean the water closet?

3:12Keyzie:I just, in a daze, wander into the wardrobe and curl one out.

3:18Mike Minogue:Right. Do you reckon you'll ever get to a point where you do do that?

3:21Keyzie:Do do. If I get to that point, take me out to the back paddock, Keezy. And make love to me. And make love to me one last time before you do away with me.

3:36Mike Minogue:So in this scenario, I'm at your place. You've just done poos in the closet. And then I say, all right, Jase, come with me. Out of the back paddock. Get your gears off. Yeah.

3:46Keyzie:And we make sweet, gentle love, Keezy, on the grass.

3:52Mike Minogue:I only forget your turn. I reckon you stick Jase's head, you bend him over and you put him, stick his head between an electric fence. Is that a thing? And you give him a good scene too. Well, I think the fact that... We're going to have to put a disclaimer on that. We will, eh? This is the second Nazi-based one in a row, guys. I know, that's weird, isn't it? Well, that's Jase with his hair cut. Yeah, you know. I haven't heard from Matty from him, by the way.

4:17Keyzie:Yeah, no, he hasn't probably had his drive-by yet. No. The Hauraki Big Show, weekdays from four on Radio Hauraki. The Hauraki Big Show podcast. Good day, fellas. Mate, I got a lot done. You go, Kesey.

4:34Mike Minogue:Oh, we just got those friends of ours staying with us. One of them went to High Rocks this morning, which is like, it's called, it's like CrossFit. I know that, yeah, yeah. Fitness, big tournament on in Green Lane. I ended up going down there and dropping his wife off and just got to see the sheer amount of people in all of their fitness gears running. Oh, yeah. There were thousands of people around. I didn't realise how freaking massive these things are. Yeah, they're big. And literally, I couldn't think of anything I would less like to do. But like anything, you can get addicted if you do it for long enough.

5:02Mike Minogue:Yeah, and it's for a certain type of people that want to, and they're all in their 30s and 40s and that are just trying to stay fit and want to have that. I get it, but it's just like I couldn't think of anything else. What's interesting about that, because I did that a couple of years ago, when I went hard out, and I've done it a couple of times in my life, and now I'm just like, there is. I've done it. That's a good thing is I've done it. I wanted to see what it was like, but it is a waste of time. What's it called? High Rocks. Is it like climbing? No, that's what I thought, but it stands for hybrid rockstar, which sucks.

5:29Mike Minogue:Are you serious? I am serious. That's what High Rocks stands for. Does it? Hybrid rockstar. What does it mean? I have no fucking idea and I don't want to know. It's fucked. And then what happens? It's just a big fitness tournament, like run a kilometre, push a sled for 200 metres, run another kilometre do 100 metres of burpee or something and like that's full on that's horrendous yeah and that's why I said it's not for me I quite like the sound of that because you do the same thing every time you don't have to think about what your workout's going to be and then you're just competing against yourself for the best time that's right and you do it in teams like my mate was doing it in a pair him and his brother doing it oh yeah that's good and it was a lot my brother would be useless old mogi

6:09Keyzie:older mogi

6:10Mike Minogue:older mogi

6:11Keyzie:sounds like a nightmare to me

6:13Mike Minogue:Jase, you and I should enter as a team. It's funny because Flavor over there, the radio station that we share in office with, Michaela who works there was like, because they're doing a Flavor team at High Rocks. Are they? Yeah, and so there's about four of them. Azura loves it. I mean fitnessy stuff like that. I think Zoo's doing it, but there's four of them doing it. It's real chill and they're like, we've only got to run two Ks each and do one exercise each or something. I was like, sweet. And then she's like, do you reckon Hodaki would do it? And I was picturing me, you, Pug-san and old Hoody J as a team at like a fitness con.

6:42Mike Minogue:I was like, fuck that.

6:43Keyzie:Yeah, no go. Mogi would do 80%. I'm signing off now. I'm out. How's it spelled, High Rocks?

6:50Mike Minogue:I have no idea. Probably HY. Yeah, sure. Oh, of course. Thank you.

6:55Keyzie:So you got a lot done, Mogi. That's good? Well, yeah. But yeah. Yeah, there's a lot of cool stuff happening at the moment. Life is good. I've got to say, being on the wagon's good. Yes. Here we go. So that has been good so far. I mean, God knows how long. I got another message yesterday. I've got another 50th to go to. Right. So, so far this year, I've had on the second, the first weekend of January, all the mates that we used to get on the hammer with when I first got back into film. So 20 years ago, they had a big party because the mates came back from the US. Cool. So that was cool. So I went to that and I went to that for one hour and then I went home.

7:32Was it good? Oh, no, because it was too tempting. It was too close to me still drinking. Yeah, right. Yeah, yeah. And smoking. And then since then, I've had the Black Clash. I had another 50th last weekend for a guy that I know from Levin. So I've known him for about 45 years. Got another 50th. Got a wedding this weekend. Every single weekend I've had some. Oh, the tennis was the other thing. Yeah. So every single weekend. But I've managed not to get on it. But I just feel so good.

8:01Keyzie:Yeah, you do. You do. I mean, as a general rule, you just have so much more energy. Well, yeah. Yeah, and no lack of energy. But the trouble is when I've worked out what my triggers are, Jason, my triggers for wanting to drink and smoke, get on it, are feeling good. Yes. And sun. So if I feel good, if I'm feeling good, I want to get on it. And if it's sunny, I want to get on it.