OUTRO: Going Live

0:00For all you mad bastards loving the Big Show podcast, get up even closer on Instagram, YouTube and TikTok or Raw Dog It. 4 to 7 every weekday on Radio Horeke. G'day fellas.

0:17Mike Minogue:G'day guys. How's it going? Up the waz. Yeah, good thanks. We've got to get through this, we've got to go get some sushi. Fuck the waz. Fuck the waz. Can you cut that off, Pugson, about the piece of shit that Jace is? He's just been out there swearing at people. Absolutely beautiful day Yeah Down on the waterfront Me and Jase went and shot one of the all time great videos Thanks for doing that fellas And lovely day People are out having a beer enjoying themselves Jase is just hating it He's down there with his wife Beautiful wife Just filthy Why do you Why man? Are you all G? He's coming here and he said fuck the wa's Based on other than the fact that we're excited Bagging everybody out there Like you Keezy Wealthy people

0:56Keyzie:Me? No, I'm just not a big fan of the Viaduct It's a bit wanky for old Hoody J

1:03Mike Minogue:What isn't wanky for you though? Oh, West Auckland I've been wanking Probably wanking is too wanky for you

1:10Keyzie:But you know what I'm saying fellas I mean, come on Keezy Yeah, but you came in and said fuck the waas man You're not going to go down there and you know Have a cheap beer and a saucy roll are you? No Well you're not, but there's no cheap beers in the whole country Well then maybe there is And to be fair to the virus, it's beautiful down there, but there was just one restaurant. There's one restaurant that just got deep inside my goat. Yeah, there's a couple of restaurants that are exclusively for people

1:37Mike Minogue:that want to be seen. They have to eat somewhere, man. But they have to eat somewhere and also don't go to that restaurant. Obscenely wealthy. That's okay. No, it's not, Casey. Why can't they be wealthy? Fuck the wealthy. Well, you're wealthy. Yeah, you're loaded, man. I'm not fucking wealthy. I think in the grand scheme of the world, you are wealthy. The grand scheme of the world.

1:57Keyzie:What's that thing that they say that if you've got a dollar in your bank account, then you're more wealthy than some phenomenal number of people in the world? Is that right? Yes, if you've got$1 in your account, then 80 % of the world. So Pugs is fucking loaded then. He is massively loaded. Mike, do you think Hoagie J is wealthy? Compared to most, I would say. As fellas, I'm just doing this little thing here. See this? Oh, wow. Are you live? I'm going live, man. I don't know if we've got anybody looking, but I just want to – I just thought it would be not good if I didn't share that old hoity Jay has got his shirt open all the way down.

2:37Look at that. Oh, my God. Oh, so I do that again? I missed it. Yeah. Jeez, that is a lot of buzzy action. This guy gets it. And we could be doing this every day. We could be going live. 37 people on there, fellas. Are you joking? This is pumping, mate. You going to get your buzies out, Keezy?

2:53Mike Minogue:I'm not getting my buzies out. Get your nips out, man.

2:55Keyzie:People would love that.

2:56Mike Minogue:I don't get my nips out for anything less than a million viewers.

3:00Keyzie:If you got your nips out, Keezy, My name's Chris, yes. then I reckon we'd get another 50 viewers. I would like to go on the side because I can't get both of you in here, you know? That's okay. Yeah. Get a shot of old Pugs. All I can see is just two honkers right in the middle of the shot.

3:14Mike Minogue:Look at old Pugs over there. Pugs is loving it. Look at Pugs. He's like, why didn't I have this idea? This is what I should be doing as a producer. The future of broadcasting. People are loving it. Oh, Dilly's over there. He can't believe it. He just got fired.

3:25Keyzie:If we're making money off this, I want 75 % of the proceeds. Don't worry, mate. We're not making money off it. Oh, damn it. I didn't bring my water in. Can you go and get my water? Keezy? Keezy. We should be doing this, you know. Woody J. Although it gets a bit risque, doesn't it?

3:41Mike Minogue:Yeah, fuck yeah. Especially for you.

3:42Keyzie:Yeah, especially for Mogey, actually. He's the one that would be most in danger from a live broadcast. There we go.

3:50Mike Minogue:People watching, just know that we're doing the podcast outro. This is the podcast outro, fellas, and I just wanted to share. Jase had three buttons undone and I was frothing on it.

3:59Keyzie:I was feeling very steamy, fellas. I was very warm today and I overdressed. Eyes to the front, Keezy. What are you doing this weekend? Bloody shock and bath. Shock and bath. Everyone saw that too, shock and bath. Man, well, we're going to Pugs' due and he's putting on a bit of a spread at some bar or something. I'm trying to think of an excuse. Giving some beers. I'm looking forward to it. It'll be good. Same. I just thought I'm looking forward to having a dance. I've had a big week. I just need to dance out some of the stresses of the week. Why don't you bring your laptop and do a bit of work?

4:31Not a bad idea. There he is. Old Pugson over there.

4:34Keyzie:But yes. Look at his socks. Then are we going to spend all just Saturday exploring? Why not, man? Because my wife's been really busy lately, and it's kind of getting deep inside my goat.

4:47Mike Minogue:Because you require a lot of her attention, eh? I do, yes. The Hauraki Big Show, weekdays from four on Radio Hauraki. The Hauraki Big Show podcast. Ah, is it with work or what?

5:00Keyzie:Well, this theatre show and stuff. She's buggering off rehearsing all the time and it's like, no. Is she loving it though? Yeah, she's enjoying it, I think. I can't wait to go see it. Stressful times, isn't it, learning that stuff? How's she feeling? Good. You go through some highs and lows. She's definitely done that. Yeah. She's definitely been through, oh, God, what am I doing, and to feeling okay about it. You know what I'm saying?

5:23Mike Minogue:Right.

5:24Keyzie:Pugs, can you get my water out of the –

5:27Mike Minogue:Can she get me a minor role in it?

5:30Keyzie:Well, no. A walk-on role in a play? Yeah. So Keesy just walked through the back of shot on the play. She's a bit filthy with you at the moment because of your sex bot. What? They say it looks like my wife. That sex bot on your phone. I thought she'd be furious about the six. The six out of ten, come dine with me. No, no, she's pretty. She said, oh, well, we get a turn, don't we?

5:53Mike Minogue:Okay, you guys, you're not playing come dine with me correctly. You're getting better about it. We all get a turn. You're taking it personally. Do we all get a turn, Kesey? Yeah, you do, but the way you're saying it. What do you mean, man? There's competition, man. This isn't a chance to just slag each other off. Absolutely not. It is a chance to genuinely rate the dinner host aspect of the night. Tell you what, I think there's going to be fireworks on night number two.

6:21Keyzie:Can you now admit, Kesey, on a live broadcast. Oh, here we go. A live broadcast. When we were off air that you deliberately marked me down because of the fact that we took the piss out of your wife's cooking so many times and you wanted some revenge. And then you said to me, but then I didn't get the satisfaction that you and Mogi seemed to get from bagging my wife's cooking. So I want to change my score.

6:48Mike Minogue:So what I said was, yes, pretty much that. I went in knowing I was going to mark Hoity J quite harshly. Yeah, yeah, yeah. But the way I justified it was as long as I'm just as critical with everyone else, then it's fine. I agree. So as long as I don't give Pugs a 10 when he pours wine into a fucking tumbler.

7:09Keyzie:You guys were waxing lyrical about your European experience. I was being polite. And also, I've been to many bars that serve wine in tumblers. You don't go to bars. Yeah, they do. But you're right. But the point being, I think the point Kesey is making is, regardless of what happened on the night, he would have found something to mark you down for. Well, yes. That's been the point. Evidence by some of his. But you were going to mark him harshly, you said. Yeah, I was going to be very critical. Yeah, exactly. So there you go.

7:40Mike Minogue:Because I decided after the cake debacle, I was going to be quite critical, and I'll do the same for everyone. Yeah, yeah, yeah. But then when Jase didn't have wine glasses and was just like, oh, I don't actually have wine glasses. Oh, what about these? That's right. He didn't pull them out going, hey, but European, check this out. But my point being that if Jase did have wine glasses, he still would have got a six. No, he would have got a seven. It was the wine glasses. What are you doing? It was the wine glasses getting kicked out early and me bringing food. Keezy.

8:11Keyzie:I just want you to know I am going to mark you very harshly too. I was only harshly, not very harshly. I'm going to mark you very harshly and the fellas also. Okay, good. I'm going to mark in a fashion that I think befits their efforts. Sure.

8:28Mike Minogue:As long as it's the same as you, the way you mark me is the same as everyone else. Harsh but fair, Jase, or just harsh? Harsh. Just an arsehole.

8:40We had 80 viewers, 130 viewers, but it's gone down to 80. People have had enough. Yeah. So not the ratings. Bonanza. Should I undo a few buttons again?

8:55Mike Minogue:Yeah, go on. I reckon if you get your hog out on the live stream.

8:58Keyzie:Oh, now we're talking. Look at that. Has it gone up?

9:02Mike Minogue:Like a hundred? It's gone down. Mine has too. But what are you talking about? Hey!

9:13Keyzie:Oh, God. That's good stuff, fellas. We're going to go and get some half-priced sushi. I am. Do you think there'll be any on a Friday? Yep. Yeah. 100%. I've got to get over there quick, though, because we've only got a couple of minutes. Hey, cheers to everyone out there on the old Instagram. It's my first time doing that. Could be some value in it.

9:30Mike Minogue:Why don't you just set that up on the corner of your desk, go live, and then just fucking beaver away at the old laptop. Computer. Yeah, now you're talking behind the scenes old mogi. Living the dream with mogi. Getting after it. See you then. All right. Bye then. Hey, listen to The Big Show, 4 to 7 weekdays on Radio Hauraki. See ya.

10:00Mike Minogue:Just playing the music out just to make it hit 10 minutes.