OUTRO: Growing Up

0:00Keyzie:For all you mad bastards loving the Big Show podcast, get up even closer on Instagram, YouTube and TikTok or Raw Doggett. 4 to 7 every weekday on Radio Hood Aircare. Backbone. Backbone.

0:16Mike Minogue:Oh, g'day, fellas.

0:19Keyzie:G'day, guys. Hi, guys. It's weird the sort of way we start, isn't it? It's just, I think we're just, we're trying to fire ourselves out. Well, I am. Yeah. You know, you sort of look the big long afternoon stretching out ahead of us and I'm like, oh, come on now, fire up. Let's go. Let's go.

0:35Mike Minogue:I'll just say hi because I'm already fired up. Yeah, you're already pumped. As soon as I walk in the door, ready to go. You look lovely today, Jase. Thanks, man.

0:42Keyzie:You look wonderful. I said to my wife the other night, not last night, the night before.

0:53Mike Minogue:Oh, yeah, so Wednesday night?

0:54Keyzie:You better tell me which day it was or I'm going to be fuming. Tuesday. To get this wrong. Yeah. I said, I'm going to break out my winter city look soon. Big city life. Winter city look. And she said, oh, okay, what's that? And I told her and she approved.

1:10Mike Minogue:Well, because for the listeners, Jase has got like a lovely button-up navy blue shirt, dark navy.

1:16Keyzie:This isn't it, by the way.

1:18Mike Minogue:No, I'm just talking about what you've got on now. You've got the sleeves rolled up to your elbows and you've got jeans of a similar colour on. Yeah. But then white sketches.

1:26Keyzie:No, not sketches.

1:28Mike Minogue:Oh, it's Slazinger's? Yes. Which I don't even know existed.

1:32Keyzie:I've worn these heaps of times. No, totally. But like that combo with the white shoes and then - Not your fault.

1:38Mike Minogue:And then your new glasses as well, which are kind of like translucent frames. You're right. The description was that he looks like he's working for an agency of some description. A creative agency. You know who you look like? Probably, because I can't remember what he looks like. Your father-in-law. Is he dressed like that? No. He's got the glasses, he's got the shirt. Architect. Is he not? Architect, yeah. He does. He says he does.

2:03Keyzie:Hey, nah. No. No. No, Pete. I would say Pete's a bit more wacky than me. Oh, is he a bit of a wacky bastard? He likes the red pants and the sort of yellow shirts. More wacky than you. So, yeah.

2:18Mike Minogue:Wow. I think, Jase, to be honest, what I thought you were was like someone, And like if you're...

2:26Keyzie:I love these descriptions we give of each other.

2:29Mike Minogue:It's like when you're at school and then your teacher's away, but you get a cool relief teacher. Right, yeah. And you do that thing where you come in, you turn your seat backwards, you sit on it facing the other way, you know, and then you go, hey, call me Jase, don't call me Mr Hoyt.

2:42Keyzie:Yeah, my cap on backwards. I have told you this. There's a shot across your bow there, Keezy.

2:48Mike Minogue:Well, because I've got my hat on backwards.

2:49Keyzie:Come on, man. This story before, but when I was teacher training and I went out to section, I had one girl in my class one day say to me, why do you wear such weird pants?

3:00Mike Minogue:What were they?

3:01Keyzie:They were like linen pants, but they had a kind of thread through them. How old were they? How old were they? Yeah. The kids? Standard tree? Yeah. The pants. Oh, the pants. I don't know. They're just some slacks. Standard tree? Yeah. I guess you were an old man by that point, though, weren't you? to a kind of stand at three. Yeah, for sure. Even though I was only in my 20s. Yeah, that's right. You're an adult. Yeah, and I was like, are my pants weird? Yeah, that's right, because you were stoned. Paranoid. She was looking back, she was bang on. She was totally right. That 12-year-old, that 8-year-old.

3:37Keyzie:Actually, that would be a good topic for us to discuss on the radio show one day, fashion travesties of our youth. Oh, yes. Yeah, 100%. I had some shocking, shocking travesties.

3:50Mike Minogue:I feel like Mogey's just worn the same outfit that he's wearing right now since he was four. You're about right.

3:56Keyzie:Apart from the purple, was it docks? Oh, the, oh, damn it. No, they weren't docks. It was the suede square toad love boots. That's what they called them. Square toad love boots. The ones that I tried to give to the homeless guy and he wouldn't take them when I was living over in Sydney when I went shopping stoned, remember?

4:17Mike Minogue:That's right. And you spent a fortune on them as well. That's too much money. Yeah, I had some shockers. Oh, same. There's one particular outfit that I'm thinking of right now, which I fucking cannot believe I wore. A lot of flares. I wore a lot. You know, flares in the 2000s, you know. Yeah. I never did the flares. I did the corduroy a lot. You're a bit young for it.

4:35Keyzie:And also, yeah, and like going to social school, socials, and, you know, getting my dad to, you know, Dad, I don't have any cool thing to wear. Yeah, yeah, yeah. And I ended up wearing like grey slacks, a grey and white business shirt and a maroon cotton tie. I was 12.

4:53Mike Minogue:I still remember going to my first ever school social. I must have been like 10 or 12. And I had a Planet 8 shirt on with flames on it. And I gelled and I spiked up my hair with gel. And I was like, hey. Hey. Hey. The Hauraki Big Show. Weekdays from four on Radio Hauraki. The Hauraki Big Show Podcast Hypothetically speaking This is probably 2001 Went out to the local pub I was wearing a cream Dude I had no idea what I was up to Please say turtleneck Not a turtleneck Just like a cream sweater Right Of some description Probably got it some The equivalent of Hallensteins Or some shit I don't know Probably too small Anyway I went to the local pub And one thing led to another And this is when raves were really big Yes And to have them over in Sydney, it'd be like 3 ,000 people.

5:49It's just ridiculous, these things. And so ended up, saw a guy, had a word about some things and went along to this rave, dressed like an absolute Gumby. But we were with this guy from New Zealand. He was a Māori fellow, huge. When we got there, there was a line of about five, a queue of about 500 people. Wow. And just before we got there, things sort of kicked in. and we just followed him. Pete was his name. We just followed him, and he just went straight to the front of the line, stepped over the rope, and we all just followed him, and we just went straight in. We didn't pay or anything like that.

6:25It was around about then that I blacked out. And when I came to, and I don't know how much longer it was, we were in the, there's like 3 ,000 people at this rave, and I'm standing on top of a tower thing. What? It's about, it's like a round cylinder, like a, you know, the things that hold up the Greek buildings, like a column. Like a column. Yes. It was one of those that fits a person on it. I sort of come to. How high? Three to five metres. No, drugs-wise. Oh, pretty high. And I come to and I'm like, holy fuck, how did I get up here? And you're standing on top of it. I'm standing on top of it dancing, man.

7:07I'm going hard. And I'm like, shit, where's my mate that I went with? and I look and way over on the other side of the room, there's one other column in the whole place and he's on it. And we're like, hey! What a night. What a night that was. But dressed like a fuck. We went home alone. Put it that way, Keezy. Yeah, nice.

7:27Keyzie:You've just reminded me, there used to be a nightclub in Auckland that had those dancing columns. Right. And I can't dance. I want to be very clear. Five or six of them. And people used to get up onto those and douche, douche. I was quite fond of the column back in the day. which is fucking terrible.

7:44Mike Minogue:We didn't have columns dancing when I was...

7:46Keyzie:And I think they had poles on them, so you could hold on to them. Get a good swing gun.

7:51Mike Minogue:Fuck yeah, it's so cool. Those were good times, I'll tell you what. Do you reckon, just back to what you were saying before, how when you're in primary school, kids think a 20-year-old is old, right? Do you think now, because I often think this, if I go for a beer with the younger people here at radio, right? Yeah. Do you think I stick out as old? Yes. You do? But not to me, because you're young. But to them, absolutely. They'll be like, because the guy in his 30s, mid-30s, and they're like 20-odd, it's a fucking old dude.

8:17Keyzie:But he does have a backwards cat. Oh, look, there's no denying he's speaking to the ute. But it is a funny thing as well, because now we're much older, aren't we, Jizz? Yeah, mate. I feel like I'm your age, Keezy, at the oldest.

8:31Mike Minogue:Yeah, right, okay. Mid-30s max. And I am fucking shocked that I'm almost 50. Because I am, by every definition, old, and I do not feel like that at all. My dad said the same thing. He's like, honestly, I feel like I'm still exactly like you right now. And that's why I talk to people. And he ended up being mates with my brother-in-law. He's fucking 25. Yeah, but you're all the same, right? You hit a certain age and all dudes especially are the same.

8:59Keyzie:Like internally, you know, mentally I'm still very young. You're still very sharp. But my body gives me signs now that I'm getting older. Because I think about how old I am all the time and go, fuck, that's not right. Yeah. That's not right. Your next birthday's crook. I'm not that old, but then I'll get out off the couch and be like, oh, fuck. Oh, Jesus. But isn't it? It's a real, it's a design fault, isn't it? It's a design flaw that your brain can be so good, and this isn't always the way, it can go the other way as well, but that it can be so good and that your body just goes to shit. And so, well, fuck, and I'm still brand new up here.

9:37Give me a new body. Yeah, exactly.