OUTRO: Hotel Horrors

0:00Keyzie:For all you mad bastards loving the Big Show podcast, get up even closer on Instagram, YouTube and TikTok or Raw Dog It.

0:11Mike Minogue:4 to 7 every weekday on Radio Horek.

0:15Keyzie:G'day fellas. Backbar. Hello. God, I'm rude. Yeah. Oh, oh, oh. Yeah. Oh, that's true. Pugsons just said, and just a spoiler alert out there for people. Pugs just said in our ears, I've got a huge S in my A. Am I allowed to say that?

0:36Mike Minogue:Well, you said it on the last one. It's quite shocking from him, actually. But I guess the point being, Jase, that neither of us today have felt Nugent need to do a steamer, unless you've already done yours.

0:46Keyzie:No, I feel one.

0:48Mike Minogue:If you say percolating.

0:50Keyzie:What about brewing? Can I put it this way? Simmering. Simmering.

0:57Mike Minogue:Oh, so it's going to be a splatterfest. The heat's turned right down, and it's just sort of simmering away there. Bubbling away there.

1:03Keyzie:Well, as I mentioned when I came in and I saw you, I got home from the batch yesterday, immediately went and had a hot pot, and she's hot potting down there.

1:13Mike Minogue:Can you have hot pot in the morning?

1:16Keyzie:Probably. Yeah, you could do.

1:18Mike Minogue:Because it's morning time now, and I've got about an hour to kill. It is morning time. I don't think it'll be open.

1:22Keyzie:No, I don't think so, Casey. But I was going to ask you fellas, what are you going to have for brekkie?

1:27Mike Minogue:I don't know. I've got to sort of muck around until 11.

1:30Keyzie:Oh, right. Fart ass around. You've got to fart ass.

1:33Mike Minogue:I'll be fart assing around playing grab ass. At Hodaki? Nah. Somewhere else. Yeah. Somewhere where you won't get asked to do stuff and chat about stuff. Yeah, yeah. No, good call, man. Good call. You get it, man. I'm probably going to go home. I'm probably going to have some eggs. I'm going to have eggs. I'm going to have eggs. I'm going to have eggs. Eggs, labna. Labna. Has that got the old dindy, the ducca, has it got that stuff on it? Yeah, ducca and a kind of sort of. You and your wife are going out for breakfast now, aren't you? Yeah. Why don't I come with? He was quite clear that he was doing that, but he was quite explicitly left you out.

2:10Keyzie:You're most welcome to, Keezy. Where are you going? We're going to a place called Chuffed. Where's that? It's just in town. But we're up or down. That doesn't sound very good. Kind of high street. Oh, that's perfect for you, Keezy. It's perfect for you, mate. But, and I'll show you the text in case you think I'm lying, my wife just texted me before saying a friend might be popping over. There's nothing wrong with that. And so maybe it might be just me and you. Right. Which would be a bit weird.

2:38Mike Minogue:So you wouldn't go home to see the friend?

2:41Keyzie:Well, she's more my wife's friend. Oh, do you separate them out? And she's an Ambo driver. And she said if I haven't got a call going on, then I'll pop over and hang out with you for a bit. I'm not comfortable with the taxpayers paying her while she's passing around. Well, look, I mean, it's only a matter of time on our street before something happens, you know what I mean? Yeah, because Ambo drivers,

3:03Mike Minogue:they get paid way too much for passing around. Everybody knows that.

3:06Keyzie:It's like firefighters, way too overpaid. Nurses, teachers. Teasy hates them all.

3:10Mike Minogue:Yeah, I mean. You know, but I hate it. Jesus. And, God. Do you want Mogie to do a prank call so that she gets called away so that you can have breakfast with your wife? 111, there's an emergency. Yeah. I've trapped my downstairs in the elevator door at NZ Me.

3:27Keyzie:Remember the time I did that?

3:32Yeah.

3:33Mike Minogue:That was fucked up. Hey, fellas, I'll talk to you. Language, Keezy. Yeah, that's shocking, man. What were you saying, man? I'm just going to tell you about my holiday to Taupo. This is not content. Because the problem with it is you sound like you're a big moaner, and I don't want to sound like that. On the show. I just want it to be especially for the podcast people. All right. Okay? So you go there and you start this flash joint. It's a flash bastard. Right. The motor in. It's actually not that flash. Motor Lodge. It's actually very reasonably priced. It was about the same as Airbnb. Big one-bedroom apartment sort of a bastard.

4:10At ****. Oh, yes. Yeah, yeah. Can you beat that at? Because I'm going to bag them.

4:19What's the time? There we go. So we go there and we've already pre-ordered an early check-in because we've got to pick up mud from the old bus. An early chicken. An early chicken. An early chicken is first to hatch, everybody knows that.

4:33Mike Minogue:Sorry, carry on. This is vintage big show, constantly interrupting. And we pick up mum from the old bus stop there. Yeah, right. She's in the open top bus, eh? She's in the open top bus. She sits on the top. She said that she was on that bus and she was sitting behind the driver because she likes to flirt and try and get numbers and hook up with them when they stop off. That's pretty weird. He was going 130k an hour. Wow. Really? 130k. Good on him. What a backbone. And a fucking bus. What a legend, man. What an absolute champion. Anyway, backbone, backbone. So we pick her up. We get to the hotel, and there's quite a lot of people in reception there, and our room is not ready.

5:17It's not going to be ready.

5:18Mike Minogue:Oh, and you asked for the early check-in. Asked for the early check-in. The early check-in. Gets the worm. And not only was it not going to be early, it wasn't going to be on time, it was going to be late. So check-in was an hour and a half late. So that was mean. Then the other good thing about this joint is you could charge your car up because we got the electric shitter, which once again came to the party. We were able to stop and recharge the bastard. How long did it take to charge it? Half an hour? A full charge is an hour or so. But it depends on which charge you get because different charges take a different amount of time now.

5:51So they had these charges, went down there, plugged it in, didn't work. We're on 4 % at this point. So I can't even make it to anywhere else to charge it up. So it doesn't work. I have to charge it in a normal plug and to charge the car to 100 % from there is going to take 19 hours. Yeah, it's so slow. But the next day I come back and it's not 19 hours, it's closer to 37 hours. Oh, great. Yeah, it's all good because at least I've got some charge, so I'm not super gutted about that. Then we eventually do manage to get into the room. There's four people staying there. There's one towel. They've got one towel in the room for us.

6:31Mike Minogue:What the fuck are they doing? Really? Yeah, without a word of a lie. The Hauraki Big Show, weekdays from four on Radio Hauraki. The Hauraki Big Show podcast. There's one towel. Now, this obviously doesn't matter, but it does when you've got a kid. And you're going to, because it's got the pools and stuff and hot pools and spas and shit. One towel and also one robe. And the rubbish from the previous people is still out on the balcony. Oh, God. There's also no bedding for the fold-out sofa bed and no bedding for the fourth person who is sleeping on the couch, which is my kid. So give them a ring about that.

7:10Oh, shit. Sorry about that. We'll come up and we'll sort that out. Seven hours later, call them. How's that going? Oh, yeah, we'll be there in a minute. An hour and a half later, call them. We'll be there in a minute. Half an hour later, they turn up.

7:23Mike Minogue:Fucking hell, that's terrible. It's pretty bad, isn't it? Yeah, it's very bad. Because what you're doing and what the thing that was sort of getting me a little bit was you go away on a holiday so you can relax. Yeah. Yes. And every single step of the way, I was effing in jail. You must have been relaxed when you were at Cob and Co. Oh, Cob and Co. Now, Copico, we'll talk about that tomorrow because that was fucking gold. What else did they have there? None of that, none of that, none of that. Yeah, so that was bad. The other thing was that down by the pool, because there was a frost, I nearly killed myself twice.

7:54It's so slippery. So there's actual ice poolside in the shade. I nearly fucking died. Yeah. And you wouldn't have been discovered by them because there's no staff apparently working there. It sounds like they were understaffed. I think what happened was I had a yarn to a guy the next day. I said, what's the guts yesterday? I said, well, you're understaffed because you guys are having a shock. And he said, yeah, heaps of people caught in sick and we don't have the sort of other staff to be able to call on because it's a small pool of workers, which surprised me a little bit because it is a touristy joint.

8:24But then he proceeded to be fucking useless as well.

8:27Mike Minogue:Yeah, right. So I don't know, but great hotel. Shit, it's a good hotel. What's the rule on, like, why can't you name it? Well, because if they are understaffed, because my thing is what I'll probably do is I'll probably flick them an email and go, hey, just so you know, this went on. If you go back again and it's a shitter, then you can know. But you don't want to cost people business.

8:50Keyzie:I remember it was probably before we moved into the city and my wife and I used to do staycations in town. And there was some deal on this hotel in town. It was a very similar situation. and we got there to check in and there were like 200 people at reception. Right. That's why I remember this one. Yeah, there was just like obviously some sort of deal going on and they just did not have the capacity to cope with it. We didn't get checked in until three hours. It might have even been four hours after check-in. And then the same thing, got into the room. There was shit everywhere. where it was like, what the?

9:35Keyzie:And then they went, oh, here's a free voucher for a drink down at the restaurant. And it's like, I don't want a drink at the restaurant. They did that with us, and they gave us a drink voucher. I said, there's four of us. Start handing them over. But we had a similar thing at that same hotel. Yes. Where I got to the, it was the same thing, staycation. I got to the room early. Yeah, beauty. Mrs. said she was on the way. that can mean anything I'll be honest with you yes in terms of time that hasn't got real any kind of relationship to what I do in my life time wise but so no an hour or so later I text her I thought you were on the way she goes I'm here I said where she said I'm in the room I said I'm in the room they put they put her in a different room

10:24Mike Minogue:well who the hell am I with yeah who the hell am I with sorry who are you hey hey But yeah, great hotel. But God, that's the best time I've ever had in Taupo. Wow, after that. Yeah, it was brilliant because we went and did the hooker jet. Yeah. We went to... The falls are pretty cool. The brettes, which they've sorted out. The falls are fucking great. Yeah, Mogi Minogi would have loved that. She was in this jet. They're full on, dude. It's like you're an inch away from dying. I'm not keen on those. And my daughter, who's seven, was dying laughing. absolutely had the time of her life I remember going on that same jet at about the same age yeah so good snow on the mountain range, bluebirds every single, it's the first time I've ever been to Taupo and I've done it as a tourist because my mates lived there for 20 odd years I just go there and get pissed up so you don't see it as a tourist at all but fuck it was good man, absolutely brilliant