OUTRO: Hoyte Eye For The Straight Guy

0:00Keyzie:For all you mad bastards loving the Big Show podcast, get up even closer on Instagram, YouTube and TikTok or Raw Doggy. 4 to 7 every weekday on Radio Horete.

0:17Yeah, Jase. Jase, you've got some messaging you're doing, are you? You're moving house again, are you?

0:24Keyzie:No, no, just stuff I had to sort out. Right. I've had this, what would you call it? An erection. Invoicing. It's been years, Mogi. Invoicing shit. You know when you send an invoice and then they come back and go, no. Right. And you go, why not? And then they go, oh, well, you need to provide a PO number. And I'm like, what the fuck's that? Purchase order number, where do I get that from?

0:56Mike Minogue:So this obviously isn't radio we're talking about here. this is something else.

0:59Keyzie:This is something else.

1:00Mike Minogue:Is it something you've done heaps of?

1:02Keyzie:It's something I've done many times before.

1:03Mike Minogue:And now they're asking for a purchase order.

1:05Keyzie:And now they're asking for a purchase order number and it's got to be this and it's got to be set out this way and it's got to be on this sort of file. And I'm like, oh, fuck it. Don't worry about it. Keep it. Yeah, that's kind of where I got to. I was like, oh, look, don't fucking worry. Because how do you fill out it?

1:20Mike Minogue:When you write an invoice, because you've got that, it's like a refill sheet of paper, right? And you flip it over and then you write out the invoice. Yes. That's exactly what I do. And you stamp it with your business name, which is Hoity J Limited or something, and then you walk it into the office and hand it to them, and then they say no.

1:37Keyzie:No, I usually do it via post. You post it. Yeah, yeah. Snail. What is it? Snail mail. Snail mail. No, this is how it works in my household.

1:48Mike Minogue:This is how it does, Moggy. This is how it does.

1:50Keyzie:My wife does my invoices. Oh, yeah, good. Really? Yeah, and then she sends them off. Right. Oh, no, I send them off. She makes them for me. Oh, nice.

1:58Mike Minogue:Does she use like an accounting software or just like a Word doc or a spreadsheet? What? Look at his face. I don't know, man. Does she, when she opens the laptop and logs in. You lost him. Is she going? Yeah. When he opens the laptop. Is she using like Microsoft Word or something? Yeah. You have no idea. Yeah. Yeah.

2:24Keyzie:It's all very straightforward and basic. But, yeah, no, it was just PO. It's so straightforward on basic, you don't even know what's going on. And she's got a master copy, and then she changes it per month, for example. Yeah, yeah, yeah.

2:36Mike Minogue:So whatever that is, I don't know. One of the best things that I ever did, and it took me a long time, and then it took me, once I did it, it took me a year after that to actually be like, oh, no, this is great, is get a proper accountant. Yes. That set me up on the accounting software and stuff, and I did all that stuff myself, and it's all automated, and it works like an absolute charm, and I get more money back than what I'm paying in tax. Sorry, than what I'm paying the accountant. It makes it very worth it. Yes.

3:02Keyzie:That's one of the best decisions I made was getting an accountant. Then I just go, there you go, fella. See you later. And he goes, good on you, Jase. But you're not doing it, what he just said. No, I'm not doing it. I just give it to my accountant. I don't do any accounting myself.

3:15Mike Minogue:No, but the invoicing system as well. Funnily enough, actually. What Casey's doing there is he's talking about how easy his life has become as a result of adopting the software, merely laying that out there as an example that maybe you would think to yourself, geez, maybe I could do that, but instead it's gone straight over your head and you started talking about something else.

3:34Keyzie:I tried to do that back in the day and it was a fucking disaster. I can imagine. But you've got an accountant, right?

3:41Mike Minogue:Yes. So you give it to the accountant. Yes, but I operate through, and I don't want to plug it because it's a massive company, but Xero, right? And then my accountant has access to Xero and then she gets in touch with me once every two months at a GST and then goes, hey, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah. Here's how much you can pay. Here's how much you can take out of your account and keep. Yes. It's so good. And it's always just so worth it. Yeah. It's so worth it. Because what happens, Jase. You're preaching to the choir here, brother. Yeah. What happens here, Jase? Tell me about it.

4:09Mike Minogue:Heaven forbid your lovely wife passes away. Yes. Again, this is a bit of a... Oh, man. We've got a lot of hypotheticals here.

4:16Keyzie:We've touched on a lot of that.

4:18Mike Minogue:Yeah.

4:18Keyzie:Quite a lot, actually.

4:19Mike Minogue:So then who sends your invoices? Or do you just not get paid anymore? I can do it.

4:23Keyzie:It's very easy. And... I don't think you can do it. I'll tell you what actually happened the other day is my wife was cleaning out a cupboard and you know how you keep all your invoices and stuff and blah, blah, blah for seven years, going back seven years. Yeah, digitally. Well, yeah, but this is, like, I'm talking early 2000s. Right, so you kept it for 20 years. Yeah, so they were literally in this back cupboard in the back of my daughter's... And this happens all the time. We've got heaps of shit like that. We've got to throw it. And she's like, what am I supposed to do with that? And I just biff it.

4:55Keyzie:Yeah. Just biff it.

4:56Mike Minogue:So it's like invoices for, what is it? Son of Hercules, the TV show and stuff like that.

5:02Keyzie:Son of Hercules. What is it called? Young Hercules. Young Hercules. Same kind of thing. But yeah, no, my accounting life is a lot simpler now. It's good. It has been for a long time, actually. That's good. That is good, man. Thanks, man. You've got a new shirt on today, man.

5:18Mike Minogue:No, that's the emerald one, isn't it? I recognise that anyway Is that the emerald one? I don't remember the dots being on it See, because it's been washed now Because last time it was brand new What are the dots on it? You won't know because your eyes are out But Keezy might be able to see it Just blue dots Are they blue? Yes That's not what I'm seeing But because when it was brand new It was so beautiful and immaculate And emerald The blue dots look like sparkles from an emerald-like jewel. They're bloody beautiful. It is blue. Look at that up close. Far away. He was worried he was colourblind there.

5:54I am colourblind.

5:54Mike Minogue:Really? What colours? Which colours? Greens and red. The Hauraki Big Show. Weekdays from four on Radio Hauraki. The Hauraki Big Show podcast.

6:07Keyzie:Can I make the point of it was never brand new for me.

6:12Mike Minogue:Oh, yeah.

6:12Keyzie:It was always secondhand. Of some tramp. Yeah, of some tramp that was just, you know, Chucked it in the old second-hand store there. But, yeah, no, my Emerald shirt. I know you guys are fond of it. Oh, well, to me, it's a new shirt again. This just goes to show how good my memory is because, to me, that's a new shirt from last week. Mogi, I think you need to start wearing out-there clothing.

6:33Mike Minogue:I think that's a great idea, Keezy. Because for the last five years, black tea, white tea jeans, right? Yeah. Which is a timeless style. But it's always Keezy's got his prison jacket on, Hoody J's got his duck shirt on. and then Mogi's just wearing the same thing. I think you need to start wearing extravagant stuff. That's kind of the beauty of it, Kesey, is it doesn't matter what's happening with fashion. You can't go wrong with a black T-shirt and a white T-shirt. Now, as soon as I strayed from that, I ended up wearing a Game of Thrones shirt. That was funny, though. Yeah, that's true. I ended up wearing a direwolf shirt, and I thought to myself, this will teach you for going away from the black shirt.

7:06No, no, no. And the white shirt. But you're absolutely right. And I should have just kept on wearing it, but I didn't actually realise it was a Game of Thrones shirt. I just thought, cool wolf. And it was a cool wolf, but it did have written very small at the bottom,

7:18Mike Minogue:winter is coming. And I was like, hey, Mogey, winterfell. Should have changed that to Mogey is coming. Well, interestingly on that, Keezy, you are going to start seeing some changes. Not drastic changes. Certainly I won't start wearing sports shirts. What did I see recently about that? Charlotte Hornets. Hang on a minute. I'm just making a note of that. But I have got a whole new wardrobe. Yes. I already have. Oh, you've bought something? I have. You've seen the pants, Keezy. there's more to come. Wow. But I'm waiting for some shoes to arrive. Boat shoes? I need some shoes. What kind of shoes are they?

7:51Just trainers. Okay. But just new trainers because all I've got, because I reached the point, Jason, you obviously haven't gotten to that point yet, where I was like, I had to go to the tennis. Did I tell you about this? Yeah, and you were like, fuck, I've got nothing. I've literally got nothing to wear. I'm almost 50 years old. I've got nothing to wear. I ended up wearing clothes like I was going to some kind of a corporate event. I had a shirt. One of these quite cool pretty. No. No. I had a summery. And so I had suit pants, some kind of lame, what's a shirt that people wear from places? Like a working style white button up.

8:28Yeah, working style there and fucking black boots. Yeah, me. Now, I was lucky that it clouded over and then the joke was on everybody else that looked cool because now I was warm and they were cold losers. But I had nothing to wear and I was just like, That's it. I've had enough. It's unacceptable for me to be this age and not to have any clothes.