OUTRO: Hoytey Jizz Boot(s)

0:00Keyzie:For all you mad bastards loving the Big Show podcast, get up even closer on Instagram, YouTube and TikTok or Raw Dog It. Four to seven every weekday on Radio Hoda Aircast. Oh, g'day, fellas. Backbone. Hello. How are you all going? We all good? I'm good. I'm worried about Keyzie. Are you wise, Ant? Because he's on a can of Coke, which normally means he's hungover. That's normally when I see you drink one. It's normally on a Monday. Is it the sugar quotient that, you know? Quotant. That you need? Not a real world, but you get the drift. Not a real world. Fuck.

0:40Mike Minogue:Are we all off our heads or something today? Do you guys need a Coke, man? You guys are all good. I've got a Coke Zero because I am tired today.

0:47Keyzie:Why are you tired? Don't know. I've told you this fascinating stat before, but in rehabs, all the sugar containers are always empty because they're all craving sugar. Oh, sugar. Sugar because, of course, alcohol is very high in sugar content. Right. And when you stop, you go through massive sugar withdrawals. Right. So thus it makes sense to me that you pound the Cokes all the time. First of all, it's Coke, no sugar. Second of all.

1:19Mike Minogue:And second of all, I don't pound them. Yeah, second of all. All right. That's just second of all. It's interesting, isn't it? And thirdly, and another thing.

1:29Keyzie:Because sometimes, like, genuinely, I'll be walking along and I suddenly crave a Coke. Like, crave. Is that true? Yeah, crave a Coke. And specifically a Coke. It'll be like, oh, my God, I've got to have a can of Coke. Same. I don't know what that is. Is a can as well?

1:44Mike Minogue:Yeah, a can. It's got to be a can. Have you ever tried Mexican Coke? No. Fuck, it's delicious. You like that, eh? People that have tried it will know. Yeah. The Coke from Mexico is crazy. When I was in Mexico, all I tried was cocaine. Yes. And that was pretty good. No, I meant Coke. I mean, it was no Coca-Cola. I meant Coca-Cola. But it had its own, you know. Didn't they used to put cocaine in Coke? In. Yes. Yes. The original formula involved cocaine. Yeah, how good.

2:11Keyzie:Bring it back, I say.

2:12Mike Minogue:I mean, I'll pound the bastards if that's the case. PC gone mad. What, Coke? Coca-Cola from Mexico is made with sugar cane. Sugar cane Okay Sugar cane But it's just It tastes way better You should try it Everybody knows that Yeah okay Where do you have it Keith? I'll order you guys some Where do you have it? In America And then my dad brought A crate of it back A container load In a container That he was bringing back When he was doing some importing He ordered a crate of it Just to have it on hand Just have it there

2:44Keyzie:Is all coke in America Mexican coke? No No Oh. Because then I would have said, well, yes, I have had it. Well, you haven't. No, no, no. You'd know. You haven't. You'd know.

2:55Mike Minogue:Because you'd know. Yeah. Like, seriously, ese. You'd know if you'd had the Mexican coat. Can you say ese? Yeah, I think so. Ese. Don't you know I'm loco? Can't say that. Can you not? No, you can. Jase, you say it? Ese. Oh, shit. What does that mean? Brother soul number one. That's all right, isn't it? It's like saying dox or uso. What do they mean? Same shit You're one of your mates, you know One of our fellas Well, it can't be wrong to say that If you're talking about fellas Fellas

3:27Keyzie:Yeah

3:28Mike Minogue:Yeah, so in Mexico they say ese Ese And then we say fellas So with there in Mexico, do you think they're going Can you say fellas? Yeah And then the other guy's like, I don't know ese

3:43Keyzie:Are you sure it's fellas?

3:46Mike Minogue:and you pronounce the all three L's yeah yeah hey day and Lou tomorrow fellas you guys fizzing yeah man yeah it'd be fun broadcasting from up the Sky Tower man I guess yeah where exactly are we because we've done it before but we're from a little boudoir we were in the presidential suite no that wasn't that was a comedy festival no I know but we've broadcasted from up there I wouldn't say we've done day and Lou from up there Yeah, you're thinking of Eden Park.

4:19Are we doing the same thing again or is it up in the actual tower, I believe? It's exciting.

4:24Mike Minogue:Imagine if it was at the base of the tower, just at the base of the shaft there. The base, how good would that be? Yeah. That would be good. Would you like that, Jase?

4:31Keyzie:The base of the shaft? No, the Sky Tower, man. Where'd you get the shaft from? Or you'd rather be at the tip of it. Yeah. Oh, look, I mean, I don't care where I am on the shaft. Would you do the skywalk thing? Yeah. Really? Yeah. Would you? Yes. Okay, great. I'm not doing everything. Well, you're not doing anything. Well, apparently I'm walking up or down the stairs. Oh, you're going to do that? No, fuck no. Well, there we go. So you're not doing anything. My heart wouldn't cope. How good would that be? Is that where you buckle in? Pretty windy tomorrow. Pretty windy tomorrow, fellas. It's fucking stormy.

5:02No, you don't have to buckle in. You just go for it.

5:05Keyzie:I understand Jerry's doing that, so I don't want to cut in on his lunch.

5:10Mike Minogue:Oh, sure. Otherwise you would. Otherwise, for sure. The Hauraki Big Show, weekdays from four on Radio Hauraki. The Hauraki Big Show podcast. I was thinking about it. I was thinking about it. You could be the first person, you could set the record for climbing the Sky Tower in women's boots. Are they back on today? Yeah. Climbing? When you go up the stairs, it could be your fastest time set in women's boots. They're fucking, they're so sexy.

5:41Keyzie:They're really good, man. They're so comfy. You know, good thing about it, it's like, A, I forget I'm wearing them. B, they're really comfortable. And C. Did you not get reminded by people that you're wearing them? Oh, I did the other day.

5:55Mike Minogue:And C, they make you feel pretty. Yeah, they make me feel pretty, yeah. And they give you another outlook on the world because the heels are so high. You must feel like a giant. Totally.

6:03Keyzie:And, I mean, I'm embarrassed for you guys that you're not up with how society is these days. You know, people mix and match, man. It's perfectly fine to be walking around in women's boots with a couple of tits. That's...

6:22Mike Minogue:To be fair, girls wear, like, dude stuff, you know. My wife always wears my business shirts. I've got no problem with it.

6:27Keyzie:I've got absolutely no problem with it. Actually, my youngest always wears everything, you know, all my bloody clothes. Whenever something's missing, I go, oh. Yeah, your hoodie's mostly, isn't it? Hoodies and trackies, honestly. Yeah.

6:40Mike Minogue:But my wife wears my business shirts. Did she ever try and steal your woman's boots?

6:44Keyzie:Well, no, she hasn't been home since I've owned them. That's the thing. I'm sure she would.

6:49Mike Minogue:I reckon the issue with the woman's boots is... Would you guys even know... Are you saying one issue?

6:55Keyzie:Would you guys have even known they were woman's boots if I hadn't have told you?

6:59Mike Minogue:Yes.

7:00Keyzie:No, you wouldn't. What are they called again?

7:02Mike Minogue:Well, this is the thing. When we got the brand is when we figured it out. What brand are they? Well, Jase already knew because he'd looked them up. Something in desire. Chaos. Chaos in harmony or something.

7:12Keyzie:Yeah, that's it. As soon as you said that, I was like, that's a good woman's shoe. And to your credit, Jay, she told us. Yes. It was madness. Well, as I say, because my wife had already looked them up online. Yeah. And she said, oh, they retail for$3.70, those boots. Yeah, and if you buy them brand new, you get a free wedding dress. Yeah, or some lingerie, which, you know, would have been good. but you know at the end of the day fellas you just gotta carry but what I was gonna say was she didn't say oh and it's a woman's site oh right she just said they retail for$370 brand new that's so good

7:50Mike Minogue:you do know it's a woman's site though

7:51Keyzie:I do now yeah yeah

7:54Mike Minogue:because my wife was like they specifically specialise in bridal shoes and footwear someone might have got married

8:00Keyzie:I mean a bride wouldn't wear these

8:02Mike Minogue:oh

8:03Keyzie:well maybe but how do you know Joss because somebody else might say, well, a man wouldn't wear these, and yet here we are. Exactly. And as I say, I went online to find out about them, and it said, but actually the footwear can be worn by anyone.

8:20Mike Minogue:Well, any footwear can be worn by anyone. Well, that's right. I once wore a horse's shoes.